Work Text:
Love.
Love has meant many things to Yoongi throughout his life. When he was a kid, love meant eating the food his mother cooked or playing with the toys his father got him. Love meant stealing his brother's candies or making sand castles with his friends.
And then when he was 10, he fell in love with the piano. Love, now, was losing himself in the feeling of his slender fingers gliding on the keys. Love was playing a broken yet beautiful tune with every gentle press.
During his teen years, love changed it's meaning constantly. His brain, overpowered by the infamous teenage hormones, made him believe that every girl or boy he was attracted to was his true love. (Yoongi outgrew that phase pretty quickly though.)
In his late teen years, love became rebellion. Love was spitting fire through words. Words that were born out of anger for anything and everything.
Once the anger subsided, Yoongi found love in music once again. Not just piano or rap. But music of all kinds. Yoongi doesn't like exaggerating. So he really meant it when he said that music was his salvation. His one true passion.
And this is it, Yoongi had thought back then. Love won't change it's meaning anymore. Love will always be music.
But as life went on, even music lost its charm. And so the meaning of love changed again. And again. And again.
So yes, love has meant many things to Yoongi through the years. But there was one definition of love that was always constant. One definition that never changed even though Yoongi did. One definition that is superior to all others.
And Yoongi realised it much, much later that :
Love, for Min Yoongi, has always meant Kim Seokjin.
Because Seokjin had been there, through all of it.
When Yoongi got scolded for stealing his brother's candies. Seokjin had been kind enough to share his own with Yoongi. When Yoongi was busy building sandcastles, Seokjin was building them with him.
When Yoongi started playing piano, Seokjin was always by his side, sometimes humming, sometimes just listening. Always supporting him, always encouraging him. Seokjin had been there, when Yoongi got his heart broken a millionth time. He teased him, laughed at him, said "I told you so" but hugged him and wiped his tears anyways, bringing him ice cream and watching sappy old tv shows with him.
During his rebellious phase, Seokjin was what kept him grounded. He listened to Yoongi's long rants about capitalism and how unfair the world is, without any complaints. Seokjin was the gentle wave that always knew how to put out the fire burning in Yoongi's heart.
When yoongi found his way back to music, Seokjin became his muse. When Yoongi found himself getting lost in the chaos of his own mind, Seokjin became his anchor.
So Yoongi really doesn't understand how it took him so long to realize that he was in love with Seokjin. Maybe Yoongi was dumb. Or maybe he was in denial.
Or maybe both.
But who could blame him? Being in love with your best friend is scary. Yoongi is sure that if he had realised this earlier, he would have brushed it off as a simple crush. But when Yoongi actually realised it, it wasn't like the feelings slowly dawned on him. No. When he actually realised it, Yoongi was assaulted with million different feelings at once. It felt like a rain of feelings and Yoongi was drenched but the rain wasn't stopping.
It was a simple incident that caused it, actually.
They were at a noreabang. All 7 of them. It was Jimin's idea. It had been a while since all of them hung out together. So when Jimin suggested meeting on Saturday, no one was able to say no to him.
Seokjin was the last to arrive. He looked exhausted. But the moment he saw Yoongi his eyes lit up and lips turned into a big smile.
"Yooooongiiii-yaaaah" Seokjin said as he barrelled into Yoongi.
"Oof- Hyung!" Yoongi squeaked as Seokjin squeezed the air out of his lungs.
"Sorry, sorry. I forgot how delicate you are my Yoongichi" Seokjin squeezed his cheeks and started laughing when Yoongi glared at him.
"I am not delicate. You are just heavy." Yoongi grumbled but he leaned into Seokjin's touch anyways. He had missed Seokjin.
Seokjin seemed to have sensed this somehow. Because suddenly he was hugging Yoongi.
"Hyung missed you too Yoongi-yah" Seokjin said softly in Yoongi's ears.
Yoongi was always amazed at how easily Seokjin could read him. It was a relief to know that someone out there could know how you felt without you having to spell it out for them.
"Stop doing that." Yoongi whispered as he buried his face in Seokjin's neck.
"Doing what?"
"You know, that thing you do when you reply to what I am thinking. As if you can read my mind."
"Maybe I can." Seokjin whispered back.
They were lost in their own world until the moment was broken by someone clearing their throat.
Both of them leaned away from each other and looked up to find Jungkook looking at them with a frown.
"Can you two love birds stop acting like you are the only ones here? We missed you too you know. " Jungkook said with pout.
"Yeah Jin-hyung. Give some of your attention to our little kookie too. He has been looking forward to seeing you all night." Tae said while mimicking Jungkook's whiny tone in a exaggerated way.
"Oh? Has my baby kookie missed his hyung? Come here kook-ah. Let hyung make it up to you." Seokjin said as he got up and hugged Jungkook, leaving a big sloppy kiss on his cheek.
"Ew hyung no. Go away" Jungkook tried to push Jin away as everyone laughed.
"I want Jinnie hyung's kiss too." Jimin said as he came running and all but jumped on Seokjin.
Seokjin laughed but kissed Jimin's cheek softly anyways.
"Wait, if Jin hyung is giving kisses then I want one too." Taehyung said as got up from his seat and stood up infront of Seokjin.
"Ofcourse Taehyungie." Seokjin smiled as he kissed Taehyung's cheek.
"That's not fair. Why do they always get your kisses and I don't." Hoseok whined as he made his way towards Seokjin and the trio.
"All you have to do is ask hobah." Seokjin rolled his eyes fondly before pressing a kiss to Hoseok's cheek as well.
"Umm..." They all turned their heads towards Namjoon, who was standing near them awkwardly. Seokjin raised his eyebrow at him, clearly amused.
"What!? I just want to feel included okay?" Namjoon said while looking at everyone but Seokjin.
"Aww my Namjoonie. It had been years since you asked hyung for a kiss hasn't it? I thought you didn't want hyung's kisses anymore." Seokjin said as he wiped fake tears.
"You know what, I think I am good." Namjoon started retreating back to his place when Seokjin caught his hand.
"Yah. I was just kidding." Seokjin said as he tugged at his hands a little to bring him close and then gave him a kiss too.
Namjoon turned bright red and everyone started laughing at how adorable the giant man was.
Meanwhile, Yoongi was watching all of this unfold from a distance. He watched the way everyone was looking at Seokjin with stars in their eyes. He watched the way Seokjin was looking at them fondly. Unspeakable amount of love oozing from his eyes. He watched as Seokjin laughed with his whole body. And then, just for a second, Seokjin looked at Yoongi, and smiled. His eyes turning into crescents.
And that's when it hit Yoongi.
He was in love with his best friend.
He has been in love with his best friend, maybe since forever.
At that moment Yoongi felt so much at once. So much that Yoongi himself was unable to process what he was feeling. So he just sat there, his eyes not leaving Seokjin even for a second.
He didn't say anything. He was quieter than usual.
Seokjin seemed to have noticed this. And kept looking at him in worry. But he didn't say anything.
Rest of the night went in a blurr. Yoongi doesn't remember anything else other than the flood of emotions in this heart. Even after that night, the onslaught of feelings didn't stop. It kept going for days.
The realisation of his feelings followed with many other realisations as well. Now he could see that every love song he has ever written was written for Seokjin. He realised how much his life revolved around Seokjin. Every corner of his house had traces of Seokjin. His closet was half filled with Seokjin's cloths. Everything in his kitchen came in set of two. One for him and one for Seokjin. Even his studio wasn't any different.
Yoongi wondered how he had been so blind.
And after days and days of getting overwhelmed with all those feelings, Yoongi finally made peace with it.
But during all those days, Yoongi was so lost in his own head that he forgot to answer any calls or texts from his friends.
So it wasn't a suprise to anyone, when exactly a week later, Seokjin showed up at his doorstep looking downright pissed.
"What the fuck is up with you?" Seokjin asked angrily when Yoongi opened his apartment door.
"Hello to you too, hyung." Yoongi said with a eyebrow raised.
Seokjin scoffed as he made his way into Yoongi's apartment. "Don't hello me you asshole. I have been trying to reach you for days. You didn't pick up my calls, didn't read my text. I thought you were dead!"
Yoongi rolled his eyes at his hyung's dramatics. "You know that's not gonna happen anytime soon hyung. Who will tolerate you if I die huh?" Yoongi said with a smile. This banter was almost a second nature to them. His smile fell however when he saw the genuine worry on Seokjin's face.
Seokjin sighed as he sat down on Yoongi's couch. He looked at Yoongi, his brows were furrowed and there was a glint of sadness in his eyes. "What's wrong Yoongi-yah? You always answer my texts even if it takes you a while. I know you have a tendency to forget everything when you are working, but never to this extent."
Yoongi sat down next to Jin and held his hand. "I am sorry hyung. I didn't mean to worry you. I was just going through something."
Seokjin sat straight up at that. "What is it? Is everything okay at work? Why didn't you tell me? I thought we promised to tell each other everything."
Seokjin was upset. And Yoongi hated that he was the reason behind it. But he had no idea what to say. He can't just drop the bomb of his feelings on Seokjin.He knows he has to confess someday. Keeping his feelings from Seokjin seems unfair. He was hoping that he would have some time to think before he actaully confessed. He didn't think Seokjin will want to know this soon. He could lie, say something else, but they are best friends and they don't lie or hide anything from each other. And Yoongi isn't going to start now. The only problem is he has no idea what to say.
"No it's not related to work." Yoongi says with a sigh. " Hyung I- I just- I mean- that day at the noreabang- I was just- I saw you and- I don't know what- I mean- I mean I know but- I- "
"Okay, it's okay, Yoongi-yah, Breath, Breath okay?" Yoongi closed his mouth and took a deep breath.
"I want to tell you hyung I just don't know how." Yoongi said as he looked down at his hands.
Seokjin hummed as he got up. "How about some tea huh? Maybe it will help you calm down."
Yoongi let out a breath. "Okay."
Seokjin went into the kitchen while Yoongi just sat there watching him. Seokjin seemed calm now. His earlier frown was replaced by a smile. Maybe because now he knew Yoongi was alright.
Seokjin came back with two cups of tea few minutes later. He gestured towards the balcony with tilt of his head before he started walking towards it. Yoongi got up and followed him.
They stood in his balcony, quietly sipping the tea. Yoongi's head was a mess. He still had no idea how he was gonna tell Seokjin what he was feeling. And he didn't even have time to think about the consequences. Will this damage their friendship? Will Seokjin hate him after this? Is he going to lose his best friend forever?
"It's beautiful out here, isn't it?" He heard Seokjin say.
Yoongi looked up and saw Seokjin staring at the night sky. He looked so beautiful in the moonlight. Yoongi was awestruck. He has never seen someone look so effortlessly beautiful. The way the light was smoothly gliding on his skin as if it was leaving feathery kisses all over it.
Yoongi couldn't stop staring.
Seokjin looked at him. And Yoongi's heartbeat increased.
God I am so much in love with him. It's actually insane. Yoongi thought.
Seokjin smiled at him before looking back at the sky.
"I am in love with you too, Yoongi-yah."
What.
Yoongi's eyes widened.
"What? But how did you- ?"
"How did I know?" Seokjin was looking back at him now with a knowing smile. "I told you. I can read your mind."
Yoongi groaned as he buried his face in his hands. "I told you to stop doing that hyung!"
Seokjin laughed as he removed Yoongi's hand from his face. Yoongi looked up at Seokjin. "Do you? Really?" Yoongi asked with uncertainty.
Seokjin nodded. "Has hyung ever lied to you?"
He hadn't. Yoongi knows that. Lying to him would be the last thing Seokjin would do.
"Since when?" Yoongi asked.
"I don't know. Maybe since forever" Seokjin shrugged.
Yoongi stared at Seokjin, trying search something. And Seokjin stared back openly as if allowing Yoongi to search as much as he wants. Yoongi finally seemed to have found what he was looking for because he leaned towards Seokjin and kissed him. And as Seokjin kissed him back Yoongi thought that maybe just like him, Love, for Kim Seokjin, has always meant Min Yoongi.