Work Text:
There's one thing that Liu Qingge knows with absolute certainty: Shen Qingqiu is a cruel man.
He's a liar and a coward who will always save his own skin first. He wields words with the same deadly precision as Liu Qingge wields his sword, making them cut just as deep, if not deeper. He twists truths and lies alike to make himself untouchable, to justify his actions even when they go against everyone's sense of morale.
Liu Qingge has watched and experienced the cruelty that Shen Qingqiu is capable of and it has left him seething with anger more often than not.
(It's all the more infuriating that Yue Qingyuan never does anything against Shen Qingqiu's behavior. The most he'll do is chide him gently, an attempt that is met with harsh words and an even guiltier look on their sect leader's face. Liu Qingge has never understood the relationship these two have and he doesn't want to.)
Shen Qingqiu is someone who never smiles unless it's over someone else's pain. He's untrustworthy and dangerous and Liu Qingge would rather die than trust Shen Qingqiu to have his back in a fight.
At least, that's how it used to be.
And then Shen Qingqiu saves him in the Linxi Caves, saves his life even though it puts him in great danger, and helps Liu Qingge through his qi deviation. The flow of his qi is gentle and warm. His green eyes are full of amusement, but also… worry.
Liu Qingge snarls at him like a cornered animal, distrustful, but he's in no position to fight back. The killing blow he expects never comes. Neither are there any condescending words being spoken, no mocking demands for Liu Qingge's gratefulness now that he's in Shen Qingqiu's dept.
Instead, Shen Qingqiu makes sure he's okay and then he smiles , a soft little thing that makes him look like a completely different person.
It's the first time Shen Qingqiu leaves him breathless from something else than his cruelty.
~~~
From that day on, Shen Qingqiu seems a changed man. He smiles a lot more, though he hides it behind one of his beloved fans. He teases good-naturedly, the words no longer cutting to the bone. He gives praise for jobs well done or for achievements he sees as incredible.
More often than not, Liu Qingge finds himself on the receiving end of those words. It happens whenever he drops by after a mission, his latest kill slung over one shoulder. He only comes to Qing Jing Peak to make sure everything is okay - the other peak lords and of course Yue Qingyuan first of all seem to believe that Shen Qingqiu changed for the better, but Liu Qingge is still suspicious.
Always and without fail, Shen Qingqiu will inspect the beast and launch into a full on lecture, ending it with a smile and a "As expected of Liu-shidi. That was amazing work."
It leaves him stunned each time. Unable to respond save for a grunt and the feeling of heat on his cheeks and at that point, Liu Qingge always thinks it better to leave.
Shen Qingqui's tinkling laugh follows him every time.
~~~
Things go well for a long time and by the end of it, even Liu Qingge's suspicions have been eradicated. Shen Qingqiu truly is a… a good person now. Trustworthy. Gentle. Funny and lovely, but also stubborn and sharp when he has to be. His disciples adore him now, always eager to please him.
The other peak lords no longer fear the journey to Qing Jing, coming by for friendly visits that always seem welcome. Liu Qingge comes by more often than anyone else - he doesn't even have a reason anymore, it's simply born from a genuine desire to see Shen Qingqiu.
On one particular afternoon scented with green tea and flowers in every colour imaginable, Liu Qingge sits at the low table in the bamboo house, chin in hand and his eyes trained on Shen Qingqiu. The man is completely engrossed in a book as thick as his arm, muttering under his breath about specimens and effects and the like.
His handsome face is very expressive like this. Liu Qingge notices a faint dusting of red on Shen Qingqiu's cheeks and follows it with his eyes all the way to Shen Qingqiu's ears.
He hasn't spoken in a while but it seems okay. Shen Qingqiu had once mentioned that he liked his presence and Liu Qingge trusts him to tell him if he is no longer welcome.
He trusts Shen Qingqiu with a lot of things these days.
Liu Qingge pauses.
He… trusts Shen Qingqiu. That realization shouldn't be as shocking as it is but it feels earth shattering . It seems to stop the world on its axis for a moment and the stillness drags on for one, two, three whole heartbeats in which Liu Qingge stares at Shen Qingqiu like he's never seen him before.
He wonders: when did it change? When exactly did he stop seeing Shen Qingqiu as a threat? When exactly did he realize that Shen Qingqiu's touch no longer meant harm?
"Liu-shidi?"
Shen Qingqiu, blessedly unaware of the world-changing revelation Liu Qingge has right in front of him, smiles.
I trust him , Liu Qingge thinks again. And then: I love him .
It punches the air right out of his lungs.
~~~
The Immortal Alliance Conference happens and it tears through them all like claws through flesh, unrelenting, cruel, painful.
Liu Qingge is the first one by Shen Qingqiu's side, but the man is unresponsive, his eyes and face blank where he kneels. Broken; just a heap of limbs, like a puppet whose strings were cut.
He stares at the ground. Moments ago, there had been gaping darkness and distorted voices screaming - Liu Qingge hasn't seen everything but he has seen a silhouette falling, swallowed by darkness.
"Binghe," Shen Qingqiu whispers and his voice breaks. When Liu Qingge looks at his face, he recoils at the sight of tears . "Binghe, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Liu Qingge is breathless, faced with Shen Qingqiu's grief.
~~~
Shen Qingqiu isn't the same, afterwards. If he's not kneeling by the sword mount of his fallen disciple, he's off-peak, looking for something. What exactly it is, nobody knows. He doesn't really tell, these days.
There is a restless quality to him, whenever Liu Qingge does come across him, accompanied by an air of nervousness. Like Shen Qingqiu is always looking over his shoulder, always on the run from something only he can see.
Liu Qingge tries to console him, in his own clumsy way; a mission set up to fail and he's aware of it but he would move Heaven and Hell if he could to somehow help Shen Qingqiu.
"I had no choice," Shen Qingqiu confesses in a broken voice, leaning heavily against Liu Qingge one evening. He has been drinking and he probably shouldn't be talking, much too honest now with the alcohol in his system. Liu Qingge doesn't ask him why he had no choice. What does that even mean?
He merely sits there, quiet, hoping his presence is enough to soothe the other man.
When Shen Qingqiu starts to cry, muffled and pained , Liu Qingge dares to move. How could he not, faced with Shen Qingqiu's pain?
He wraps both arms around Shen Qingqiu's trembling frame and holds him tight. Maybe it will be enough to anchor Shen Qingqiu. Maybe it will be enough to comfort him a little.
(It's not.)
~~~
Luo Binghe returns.
Shen Qingqiu dies.
He dies for his disciple and Liu Qingge is beside himself with rage and hurt and grief.
He spends the next five years almost killing himself every single day.
The least he can do is bring Shen Qingqiu home.
~~~
And then Shen Qingqiu returns, like a phoenix rising from the ashes and Liu Qingge has no idea what he feels. There's relief. There's anger. There is so much pain , spreading throughout his whole body, every scar and every healed injury left by Luo Binghe's sword aching.
There's love.
(He takes that and stuffs it into the farthest corner of his mind, cutting it down. Shen Qingqiu, that much is clear, only has eyes for Luo Binghe. Everything he has done, it turns out, he did for Luo Binghe . Liu Qingge may love him but Shen Qingqiu is not his to keep.
It's yet another revelation that steals the air from his lungs and leaves him breathless. Liu Qingge almost hopes he will suffocate.)
~~~
Shen Qingqiu surprises him once again.
Liu Qingge doesn't even expect to see him again; not after Mai Gu ridge and especially not after how passionately Shen Qingqiu had defended his unfilial disciple.
But here he is, wandering up towards Liu Qingge right here on Bai Zhan, weeks later - in a simple white robe that is a far cry from his usual complicated, opulent Peak lord robes. His hair is in a low ponytail, tied with a simple ribbon. He looks… at peace. Liu Qingge feels his heart stop in his chest.
"Hello, Liu-shidi," he greets him.
"Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge forces out. His voice doesn't tremble; his hand on Cheng Luan's hilt does and he grips it hard enough that his fingers go numb. "What are you doing here? Where is that demon?"
"Binghe is in the Demon realm. And I'm here." Now there is a hint of nervousness on Shen Qingqiu's face; his voice wavers a little when he adds: "Here to stay . If I am welcome."
Liu Qingge can't believe his ears and he violently crushes the surge of hope that rises in his chest. "He let you go?"
Shen Qingqiu gives him a pained smile.
"Binghe and I… had a talk. A very, very overdue talk. I know he loves me. And I love him-" Liu Qingge's heart shudders and breaks. "-but I love him like family ."
Liu Qingge sucks in a breath. The air seems to burn his lungs and some emotion much too large to name squeezes his chest until his ribs seem to creak. His heart pieces itself back together at the words.
Things are far from fine, that much is clear but-
Shen Qingqiu is back.
He's here to stay.
Liu Qingge closes the distance and wraps his arms around Shen Qingqiu, hugging him close. He feels far too breathless for words.
~~~
It's not the end.
Tentatively, they fall into old routines: Liu Qingge comes by for tea, he comes by for a chat, he comes by just to spend time.
Shen Qingqiu is always there to welcome him - with tea, with praise, with smiles.
He really is here to stay - though he will leave for one week per month, returning to the demon realm to help guide his disciple in his new role as Demon Emperor and to further mend their relationship.
That's okay.
Because Shen Qingqiu always comes back. He comes back home , he comes back to Liu Qingge.
Like tonight.
"Hello, Liu-shidi," Shen Qingqiu greets him softly. His body is a line of warmth against Liu Qingge's side when he sits down. Liu Qingge turns his head.
Shen Qingqiu has left him breathless countless times before. But Liu Qingge doesn't mind it all that much - not when he feels Shen Qingqiu's lips against his own and knows he's just as breathless.