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Ren finds Gakushuu lying on the grass on the hill behind their school.
His arms are spread out, and his face turned towards the sky, expressionless.
With a sigh, Ren approaches him, making sure to take audible and heavy steps as he gets closer. A twitch of Gakushuu’s fingers is the only indication that the other took note of his presence, his eyes still trained on the distant sky while Ren stands next to him.
“Everything alright?” he asks, despite already knowing the answer.
Ren would have to be blind to not notice Gakushuu gradually shutting down during the school day. For others, he may have seemed fine enough, but Ren has spent too much time with him to not see the way his eyes weren’t really looking at anything. To not hear the slight change in his voice as it spoke in terse sentences.
Ren already knew that he would find him here. That’s the reason he is here in the first place.
He has to wait a few beats before Gakushuu answers him, voice robotic, near and also not.
“No.”
Figures. Otherwise, he would never be caught dead lying here and ruining his inviolable reputation.
“Want to talk about it?”
Silence. Ren holds his breath.
It’s always the same answer, the same spiel over and over again. But with every time they play it, Gakushuu seems to consider his question for a moment longer.
“No.”
“Okay.”
Without another word, Ren sits down next to him, mindful to give Gakushuu enough space for himself. The sun shines, but the grass is still wet with the remnants of this morning’s rainfall. He grimaces slightly as cold water soaks his pants and glues them to his skin.
Gakushuu still isn’t moving, and Ren doesn’t even want to imagine what his back must feel like. As he takes out a book, he can’t help but keep sneaking glances at the other.
Purple bruises taint Gakushuu’s neck and wrists, partially masked by a thin layer of smudged makeup. He can make out a few darker marks where his sleeves have hiked up a bit before the fabric obstructs his view.
Ren bites his tongue. He should say something, he shouldn’t say anything. The familiar pit of helplessness opens in his stomach as he watches his torpid friend. What should he say? What’s the right thing to do? He is still a child, is there even anything he can do?
Something to do, when Gakushuu is still refusing to admit anything, when he won’t tell him anything? He can’t force him, doesn’t even know what to ask, lest Gakushuu closes himself off completely. But that doesn’t mean that he’s happy with that.
For now, Ren can only offer him his quiet company, hoping to provide some sense of comfort.
Gakushuu still watches the sky, his eyes unfocused, as if he isn’t really seeing it, long-lost in the depths of his mind.
They stay like that for a long time.
Ren doesn’t know for how long, but when Gakushuu finally sits up again, the sun is already approaching the horizon, casting long shadows across the grass. Gakushuu hugs his knees close to his chest and takes a few deep breaths before his eyes fall on Ren. Purple eyes slowly focus on him, and Ren offers him a small smile, putting his book aside.
“Feeling better?”
Gakushuu rests his head on his knees and just watches the grass for a few moments in silence.
“A bit.”
Ren smiles. A month ago, Gakushuu still would have insisted that everything was fine. Even just this little change feels tremendous, and he slowly reaches out for him, careful to keep himself in Gakushuu’s field of view.
“Come on.” He gingerly takes his hands when the other doesn’t recoil. “It’s already late.”
Gakushuu just watches him as Ren pulls him up, mindful not to touch any of his bruises.
They stand like this for a few seconds until Ren brushes a few stray blades of grass from Gakushuu’s hair and his uniform. After all these times, it’s still disconcerting for him to see his friend so different from his usual self. But this is just as much a part of Gakushuu as everything else, and if the only thing Ren can do is offer him some peace and comfort, he’ll do just that.
Gakushuu’s eyes have wandered back to the ground, while Ren continues his task.
With the last bit of grass and dirt gone, he brushes the other’s hand again, giving him another small smile.
“If you ever want to talk about it, I’ll be there for you.”
It takes a few moments for Gakushuu to look up again, his lips wobbling a bit.
“Thank you.”