Chapter Text
It had otherwise been been a dull afternoon – gray, humid, excessively long. Natalia had been at her desk for most of it, dictating letters, meeting with the royal chatelaine, and in a tense discussion with His Majesty's ambassador to Chesedonia, who said he required a larger mansion – “for all those entertainments that are so crucial to good diplomacy, Your Highness.”
Natalia's first break wasn't a break so much as an errand, getting up to retrieve a book from the Shell Library. She could have sent a page to do it, but the long walk to the castle's north wing would not only stretch her legs, it would give her ten, maybe fifteen minutes of quiet. As one of the oldest sections of the castle, the north wing was largely given over to storage. And the Shell Library, so named for its dusty collection of marine life, was almost never used. When Natalia had told the chatelaine she needed to lay hold of Saint Ludvig's Treatise on the Limits of Lords, the chatelaine had to look through the castle's vast index to even see if they had a copy, let alone what quadrant of the castle it might be found in.
“Here it is, Your Highness,” she said eventually. “There's a copy in His Majesty's study... Oh dear. This says it was borrowed in 1721 and never returned. Oh, but here, here's another one. The Shell Library, Stack C, Shelf Four. Shall I ring for a page?”
Quite unnecessary, thank you. As she walked through the increasingly quiet, shadowy corridors, Natalia felt her mind relax, her breathing deepen. After her year of adventuring with Luke, one of the hardest things to readjust to was constantly being present for her staff, there to make decisions and resolve difficulties. Walking alone through a quiet corridor wasn't quite the same as walking through the coolness of the Cheagle Woods or Theor Forest with only her friends, but it wasn't a bad compromise.
The door handle to the Shell Library was a bit grimy, and the door stuck momentarily, then gave. All of the windows were shuttered, probably nailed in place. The first light switch Natalia tried didn't work, but she could see well enough to reach one of the reading lamps on the long table. Beyond, more than a dozen stacks flickered into view. There were the shelves of shells, more specimens, including impressively large conchs and fossils, running along the tops of the walls.
Natalia had been in here before, though not for years and years. As she walked through, reading the brass letters marking each stack, something about that childhood visit tugged at her memory, though she wasn't sure why. She'd probably been looking for a book, just as she was now...
Stack C, and from there it was easy enough to find Shelf Four. The lettering on the books' spines was mostly worn away, in some cases completely, but it only took her a few moments to find the slim volume. Natalia flicked through, making sure the book wasn't too delicate, then snapped it shut with satisfaction. She turned, facing the door – but she didn't look at the door.
Her gaze had dropped, almost instinctively, to the wooden floor. Her shoe prints shone clearly against the dust and dirt. And there, amidst the variations in the wooden planks, was the subtle edge of a seam.
Her heart leapt upwards, thrumming with excitement.
She remembered.
Natalia half-walked, half-jogged back to her study, dropping Saint Ludvig on her desk and leaning into her secretary's office to tell him she'd be out for a few minutes. Her secretary frowned with concern – the afternoon had been long, but her duties were far from over – and with another promise, Natalia swept out, hurrying back down the hall.
In these, the more public areas of the castle, it fell to her to act with reserve and dignity, but it was all she could do not to break into her long-strided run. She left by one of the castle's side doors, the closest she could get to making a bee-line to Fabre Manor, at least without climbing over walls and plunging through flower plots.
Her heart was only beating harder.
For the past three years, going to Fabre Manor had been painful, though it was a journey she'd made often. With the deaths of Asch and Luke, Natalia knew she had to comfort their parents. They were her aunt and uncle, and now she was the only remaining child of that generation. They could never be parents to her, not exactly, but she was all they had left. And, as painful as it was, she was the one they turned to to tell them about the last year of Luke's and Asch's life.
A year ago, Luke had returned. In many ways, it eased the pain – greatly. But it also sharpened the loss of Asch, a private pain she felt she couldn't talk to anyone about. Tear and Guy were both too happy over Luke's miracle to share in her grief. And Jade and Anise had barely known Asch. And Luke – Natalia had been too afraid of stirring Luke's survivor's guilt. Or, worse, accidentally making him think that she wasn't happy he'd been the one who returned.
But then.
Only nine days ago, just shy of Luke's twenty-first birthday, Asch had also returned. Luke admitted that they'd both returned to life at the same time, and the family had inferred – because Asch had not come out and said so – that Asch had wanted time to himself before making his presence known.
That year of silence still gave Natalia pause. She wasn't sure what conclusions he'd reached during his time alone, nor even what had made him return to Baticul. But the reality of Asch being alive was a wave that had broken over and flooded her questions and misgivings. Questions would come, hopefully answers as well, but for now, right now, she was still so exquisitely happy. Even still a little afraid that somehow this wouldn't be real or he'd be taken away again.
As she ducked into one of Susanne's gardens, Natalia reflected that Asch would probably leave, and soon. He was living at the manor, but after his years in the Order, all his wandering, his anger at his father, she couldn't see him being happy in Baticul, taking his title, resuming the life he'd been born into. It hurt, that they would continue to live their lives separately. But even so. To know he was out there, doing things, alive –
Natalia entered the manor through a side door, nodding to the White Knight standing guard. Once she was inside, she almost barreled into a maid – a new one, Natalia didn't recognize her – who first snapped, “Watch it, dumbass!” Then her eyes widened and she sputtered, “Your Majesty! I mean – Your Highness!”
A month ago, Natalia might have elevated her chin and given the maid a bit of a glare. Right now, with Asch being alive, just walking into the manor was enough to lift her spirits. She beamed. “Is Lord Asch at home?” Lord Asch. She doubted he'd ever take his title of marquis, but even so he was of age now. And no longer merely a name on a monument, a name she avoided saying aloud. Lord Asch. Just the sound of it.
“Yes – Your Highness – he's with His Highness – I mean, His Grace – shall I – shall I get you anything or – ”
“No, thank you, please return to your duties.”
Natalia had picked this door because it was right by one of the two guest bathrooms, affording her a chance to wash her hands (still dusty), blot her face (very humid), and compose herself. Her heart was still racing.
She leaned on the sink, pressing her hands against the black marble, looking at the pale lines of each finger. She took deep breaths.
Asch was alive. The moment she'd realized it, the world had changed. Her entire world. But knowing he was alive, delighting in it, telling herself he finally had the chance that had been stolen from him when Van kidnapped him – the chance to truly live his life – didn't undo everything that had come between them.
She'd seen him alive, she'd embraced him, she'd told him what she'd intended to say on Eldrant – that she no longer held him to any of his promises. His life was his own, he could not go back to simply being the Luke of her childhood, and she accepted him. No matter what his choices were.
She had not said she loved him. She didn't know if he'd guessed during the Score War. She'd never really known, deep in her heart, whether he loved her beyond as a friend, his cousin. And she wasn't about to confess it now. With the force of her emotions, she wasn't sure how to say it in a way that didn't attempt to bind him to her – to Baticul – again.
So, unless she wanted to burst in on him with her heart all in her face, she needed these moments. She'd seen him sixteen times in the past nine days. Aside from the first, she'd prepared herself every time.
After a few moments, she straightened and looked at herself in the mirror. All right.
With the sedate grace she'd learned at age thirteen, Natalia stepped back into the hall. And she wasn't surprised to find Ramdas lingering at a discreet distance. Undoubtedly the maid had run to find him. She followed him the rest of the way to her uncle's study and let him announce her. She didn't usually ask for such deference, but right now its structure made it easier for her to remain calm.
Crimson was rising from his desk. Asch, in a chair on the other side, remained seated, though Natalia saw a momentary confusion cross his face. Was he wondering whether or not to be so formal with her?
In their childhood, Crimson would've reprimanded Asch for any lapse in decorum. Now he flashed his son a look but, to Natalia's surprise, said nothing about it. “Do you have business here, Natalia?”
Natalia told herself not to simply gaze at Asch and relish the fact that he was here. Nor to dwell on the fact that he looked very handsome, his hair braided and hanging over the shoulder of his fitted gray jacket. He'd assumed that ready stillness she'd grown accustomed to during the Score War, waiting, observing. She didn't want to think she made him wary, but at the same time she could feel in her very nerve endings that she had his complete focus.
And she was staring. She pulled her eyes over to Crimson. “If it's all right, Uncle, may I speak with Lord – with Asch? For a moment?” Goodness, she sounded just like that maid.
Asch snorted. She darted him a questioning look, but he was looking down at his boots.
“Be quick if you can.” The words were brusque, but Crimson waved his hand as he said it, a lightening gesture. All of them – for all of the royal family, Asch's return had changed everything.
But Natalia still wasn't sure what it had changed for him.
Asch rose and followed her out, and they instinctively didn't speak, cutting over to a side hall that had always, since childhood, afforded some privacy. When they reached it, Asch snorted again. “You don't need to ask Father's permission to see me.”
“I didn't know if you were busy with anything serious.” She looked over her shoulder. “Were you?”
“Nothing important,” he said quickly, in a tone she'd come to associate with things actually being important. They stopped by one of the windows, he stepping back to create some distance. “So what did you want?”
Natalia hesitated. She'd all but run here, but now she wondered if she hadn't been presuming. If the thing that had excited her might not actually matter to him. It would've once, but – but that was the old Luke.
Asch had taken his name back, before his death. But that didn't mean things could be as they'd once been.
The silence between them had grown strained. Asch crossed his arms. “Well?” he asked, not making eye contact.
Natalia was tempted, just for a second, to throw out her own It's nothing important. But no. Whatever else must change between her and Asch, whatever mistakes she continued to make, she was not going to shrink from him anymore. She pulled back her shoulders and smiled.
His eyes flicked right back to her.
“I was wondering,” she said, “do you have two or three free hours anytime soon?”
“Why?”
Her smile spread, all on its own. “I have a surprise.”
He frowned, a little blank.
“If you're game, that is.”
“What are you trying to drag me into?”
“I didn't say I was dragging you into anything! If you don't want to find out, just say you have no free time.”
“Well – ” He shifted his weight. “I don't really – not until after nine, this whole week.”
Later, Natalia would wonder what was filling up his days, but for now she was still smiling. “Ooo! A surprise under the cover of darkness. You'd have to be very game for that.”
He stared at her, disbelieving, then let out a huff. When he spoke, his tone was exasperated, but also looser – just a little bit closer to a laugh. “What the hell, Natalia?”
“Can you meet me tonight? At the stairway in the north wing?”
She'd stepped closer without noticing it, looking into his face, watching the subtle tensing in his eyes and lips as he in turn focused on her. His bangs were down, half-falling into his eyes, and she wished – she wished she knew that it would be all right if she reached up and brushed them aside.
She would not touch him. She would not say she loved him. She would not try to keep him here.
He was free. He was alive.
Natalia stepped slightly back, still smiling, releasing a breath.
The intensity in Asch's face simplified into a brief frown. “Hmph. I can make it. If it's that important.”
“I didn't say it was important,” Natalia said with a lift of her chin. “I said it was a surprise.”
Unless there was some celebration, most sections of the castle started to quiet down around eight o' clock – at least, as far as official state-recognized activity went. The early hours of the night was when the cleaning staff began sweeping through, clearing up the detritus of the day. But with an enormous castle to cover, the north wing went neglected for months at a time, and Natalia wasn't surprised to find the stairway completely quiet when she arrived. She set her large bag down and sat on the top step, closing her eyes, once again preparing herself to see Asch.
Hopefully, it wouldn't always be so difficult. What she wanted, above all else –
Well. What she actually wanted above else was for Asch to be her consort, happy in that role. Short of that, what she wanted was for things to feel normal with him again. Things hadn't truly been normal between them for eleven years. She really – it was strange to realize it – she really couldn't quite imagine what it could be like now. None of his anger and her guilt over mistaking Luke for him. None of the stress of trying to stop Van. None of the pain of knowing he would soon die. Just – normal life, with Asch somehow in it.
But it wouldn't last long, only as soon as he left Baticul. Natalia took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She gave a little jump, sitting up straighter as she realized Asch was at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at her with his head slightly tipped.
“Why are you dressed like that?” he asked, starting up.
Natalia stood, letting him see her plain, but nicely fitted, shirt and trousers better. She was glad to see he'd simplified his own clothing as well, dressed in black. “We're not going to a ball.”
“What about the bag?”
She picked it up, turning her body so he couldn't grab it. Not that he'd made any move to. “Necessities.”
“I don't know why I'm doing this, if you're not even going to answer me.”
Natalia caught herself, about to apologize. But as she looked over, she saw the slight tuck to his mouth, rather close to a smile. He was teasing her back.
My.
“Follow me,” she said, turning on her heel and striding down the hall. He fell into step beside her and they walked quietly for a few moments, Asch looking around.
“Isn't there... a library with rocks or something back here?”
“And I thought you'd mapped out this whole castle.” Oh dear. He'd done that as a child. Would he resent her mentioning their old life?
“Well, this part wasn't that interesting.”
“Shows what you know.” She opened the door to the Shell Library, walking forward to flick on the light, watching as Asch's eyes swept the room.
“Okay,” he said. “Shells, not rocks.”
“Surprise!”
“You're kidding – ”
“Oh, fine.” She pointed towards Stack C. “Walk over there and then turn and face me.”
She waited as he walked over, admiring the line of his hip and thigh before she caught herself. By then he'd turned and folded his arms. “Well?”
She pointed at the floor. He followed her gesture. And almost immediately his posture shifted and he stepped forward to see better.
Natalia couldn't help purring a little. “You missed a trap door.”
Almost for as long as either could remember, Asch and Natalia had been fascinated by the hidden doors and passages in the castle and Fabre Manor. Some of them were merely places for extra storage; others were complex networks from which one could spy or even escape to the outside. Before his kidnapping in 2011, they'd found five passages in the manor and fourteen in the castle. Asch had been certain, with all the assurance of ten years old, he'd found every last one.
“It looks like one.” Asch crouched, feeling along the seams. “We're going to need – ”
Natalia reached into her bag. “I brought crowbars.”
In their travels through the passages, they'd quickly learned what sort of tools were most needed. Asch flashed a smile up at her, accepting one of the bars. Natalia knelt next to him and with little trouble they heaved trap door up, stirring a cloud of dust.
“There isn't much to see at first,” Natalia told him. “It just looks like a secret compartment. But I think there's more farther in.”
The door revealed a square cut into the floor, showing a small room, only about three feet in height and five in length. Large enough to hide several people or any number of state secrets. However, all they saw was some scattered straw and mouse droppings.
Natalia was reaching again into her bag, pulling out two fonic lanterns. She clicked one on, then stretched it down into the hole. “You see? Just over there – that looks like another door.”
Asch took his own light, then hung his entire torso in to see better. “It's a door. And that's a Colbrande padlock.”
“We can break it with a crowbar.”
Asch was putting his hair up. “Not necessary. I'll go in first.”
“If you insist.”
He ignored the teasing primness in her voice, waiting until she positioned her light before he slid himself down beneath the floor. Natalia lay on her stomach and watched as he tested the lock. As children, most lockpicking had been beyond them, and with decreasingly guilty consciences they'd resorted to smashing any locks that inhibited them. Now his movements were brisk and precise, and in less than a minute the padlock clacked open.
“Oh! Nicely done!”
He shrugged, not looking at her. “Give me a light.”
Natalia dropped into the room behind him, crouching but not touching. “Did you learn to do that in Daath? For the special operations unit?”
“Seriously, it's nothing.” With a bit of force, he had the door open, and they both played their lights into the darkness.
“Stairs?”
“Yeah – going down.”
“That makes sense, I suppose,” Natalia said, thinking about the wing's layout. “They're probably leading into the side of the castle.”
“Looks right. I can see stone wall there.” He looked over his shoulder. “Ready?”
“I didn't bring you here just for this.” And she gestured around the small room.
The stairs dropped steeply, allowing them to straighten and walk upright after only a few steps, but cutting a sharp turn to bring them against the castle's wall. The passage was narrow, with barely enough clearance for Asch's shoulders and Natalia's bag. Two old frayed ropes hanging against the inner wall jostled against them as they passed. They kept playing their lights, checking the stairs and the low ceiling for obstacles, negotiating the tight switchbacks.
“Why didn't you ever tell me about this one?” Asch asked.
“I didn't know about it. I think I found it... around 2013, perhaps? I believe it was winter. And I...” Her voice faltered and she made herself strengthen it. Even if he heard her sadness, she wasn't going to be timid around him anymore. “I never told Luke about it. I was waiting for his memory to return. I didn't want to explore it without you.”
He didn't answer for a few more steps. “I don't see why. You know how to move through one of these things safely.”
She let out an exasperated breath. She couldn't help it, and, after a moment's reflection, didn't want to.
He didn't rise to that. Eventually, all he said was, “So you've never been down here?”
“No. I suppose there could be anything.” As children, they'd always been hoping for great discoveries – a passage down to an unknown chamber, a forgotten skeleton, hidden jewels. Mostly they'd found trash, rats' nests, and an alarming number of peepholes. One promising corridor had only turned out to be a private route to one of the privies, thankfully centuries out of use.
It wasn't long before Natalia broke the silence with a whispered “Oh!” Then, “Peephole.”
“Missed it,” Asch muttered, turning.
Natalia's fingers on the wall had found it. It was completely dark from within the tunnel, but she still put her eye to it, not wanting to shine her light in yet. “I believe it's the throne room.”
“We're too high.”
“It's high up – I can see the windows though.” She stepped aside to give him room – then held her breath as he leaned in to look, his face so close to hers, his hair inches from her lips. Resisting the instinct to touch him, she flicked her eyes down at the wall. “Oh – it's not just a peephole. Look!” There was a handle down and just to the left of the peephole. In a moment, she could make out the seam of a well hidden door. “This must be right by the north balcony.”
Asch tested the handle, but didn't turn it. “It'd be invisible from the ground.”
“You could hear quite a lot from up here.”
“Or shoot someone.”
“I will send for some masons in the morning,” Natalia said. “And we are going to brick this right up.”
Asch glanced at her sidelong, his eyes, in the fonlight, brighter than emerald. “What if you need to spy on someone?”
He was smiling, just a touch, so Natalia put on a pout.
They continued down, doing their best to keep track of which floor they were on. Asch found the next peephole and hidden door, yielding a glimpse of one of the administrative rooms, though Natalia thought she'd heard that it had originally been a dining room. Here, Asch noticed a small bucket hanging from one of the ropes, a rough pulley system.
“The idea was probably to send messages in this cup back up to the top of the tunnel.”
“Or send a poison down.”
He frowned at her, but his eyes were dancing. “And do what?”
“And shoot a dart into someone's neck. While they're eating at a feast.”
“That's not how you kill someone – ”
“You could shoot it through the hole – ”
“You just poison their food. It's much more straightforward.”
“Well, forgive me my assassination gaucherie.”
They were smiling together, though there was a moment when both chose not to acknowledge the reality of what they were saying. That Asch had not been trained as a noble, he'd been trained as an assassin, and everything that surrounded that. Everything that had changed his life and diverted it away from hers.
Their eyes met, darkly – briefly – and then Asch said they should keep moving. They didn't have all night.
As they continued down, Natalia thought any hope of further conversation might be gone. But then Asch spoke, not looking back at her. “There are tunnels all under Daath.”
“Really?”
“Dating back to the Dawn Age. Even a bit earlier. There was an older city there, originally.”
“Did you explore them?”
“A lot of them are inaccessible, with flooding and cave-ins. Some of them have been filled up, and then there are a lot of sealed doors. But I was able to get into some of them.”
“And did you find anything?”
“There are some secret rooms, even entire homes where people live in hiding.”
“Oh?”
“And lots of graves.”
“Oh!”
He laughed slightly. “I can show you. If – if we're ever there together.”
The only time they'd been in Daath together was when she'd pleaded with him not to sacrifice himself at the Tower of Rem. To go there, just as a trip, with Asch and see the things he'd seen –
“I'd – ” She put strength, brightness into her voice. “I'd like that very much.”
“Well. Anyway.”
In just a few more moments, he stopped. “What?” Natalia asked, looking over his shoulder. “Oh!”
The stairway had abruptly ended. But the stairs didn't lead to a hidden door to the outside. Instead, there was just a large hole in the floor.
Asch played his fonlight, and they saw the floor below, five, maybe six feet down.
“Did you bring rope?”
“And a grappling hook.”
He ran his light along the ground again. There was a bit of pooled water, but the floor looked to be paved, though cracked.
“I'll go first,” he said.
“Do you want the rope?”
“Not yet. You can use it, if you want.” Asch crouched at the edge of the hole, then let himself down. His boot heels hit the pavement, and Natalia watched as he tested the footing, then shone his light out. “There's... there's a lot more down here, I think.”
“I'll be right there. Take the bag!”
He caught it, and once she'd perched at the edge, she saw that he had an odd look on his face. Hesitant?
“What?”
He shrugged, the expression shifting to something closer to boredom. “I can put the rope up if you want, but – you can just come down on my shoulder. If you want.”
Natalia's neck went a bit hot, and she had no idea whether or not she should smile. Then she realized she was already smiling. “Oh – that sounds – fine. Thank you.”
He stepped under her, watching closely as she slid her legs over, and in a moment – quite before she was ready – she was perched on his shoulder. Before she could even take that in, he'd knelt and set her feet on the ground, and then there was no reason to remain in contact. She stood, thanking him again, stepping away – only then realizing he'd been pressing his hand into her thigh to hold her steady. When he turned to look at the far end of the room, she touched the place, almost expecting it to be warmer than the rest of her body – it wasn't – of course – and waited while her heart quickened, then steadied again.
The room was large, much larger than Natalia had anticipated. It must be right up against one of the kitchens, and as they stood there, she thought she could hear muted conversation beyond the far wall.
There was no furniture, but there were stacks – almost a dozen – of weapons, swords and polearms and maces.
“What is this?” Natalia breathed. “Was someone expecting an attack?”
“Or planning one.” He picked up one of the swords, ran his hand along the flat of the blade, showing her the rust. “A long time ago.”
“I wonder if there's anyone else alive who knows about this tunnel.” A shadow caught her attention. “There's another door.”
This one was also locked, though the padlock was so rusted over that they just used their crowbars to break it – Asch giving Natalia first shot, giving it a whack himself, the lock thudding down after Natalia's second hit. It led into a short hallway, narrower than even the stairway had been. They passed through sideways, their lights swinging erratically across the filthy ceiling and walls.
Natalia heard them both sigh with relief when the hall opened into a large room – and then, in front of her, Asch caught his breath.
“What?” She was still in the hall, and she was already trying to see around him. Unconsciously, only noticing it a moment later, she put her hand on his arm to push him forward. As she would have with Luke, never even noticing it. As it was, her attention fixed on her hand on his arm and she froze, wondering whether she should withdraw it – whether he minded it there –
“There's bodies.”
Natalia went on tiptoe to see past him. She loved ghoulish stories. Finding bodies, however, was something different. Asch had his light trained on the far end of the room, across the empty, dusty floor to where jumbled shapes lay along the wall. Natalia had to study them for a moment before she picked out where the first skull was, then a second one.
She let out a slow breath. Bodies were horrible, but these weren't recent deaths. Whatever tragedy lay here in secret, it almost certainly belonged to the past. She and Asch walked towards the jumble.
“I think it's – ” Natalia peered closer. “I think it's just skulls.”
“I count four.”
Natalia crouched right by them. She'd seen dead bodies before, during the Score War and earlier during her training as a healer. And she'd seen long-dead bodies in royal and imperial museums, the relics of Saints Diana and Amador in Daath. These skulls had none of the dessicated skin she would've expected, no straggles of hair. Even the cloth heaped around them seemed to be only a shroud, not clothing. “Hm,” she said thoughtfully. “I think these must have been defleshed. It's dry in here, and I don't think the castle's old enough for all of their features to have completely decayed.”
“It would help conceal who they were. But why not just bury them?”
“I wonder who they were.”
“Unpopular.” Asch pointed with his light, casting broken shadows along the brow-ridge of one skull. “That one, that's definitely trauma from a sharp metal object.”
“Maybe whoever did it thought they'd need the skulls later, to prove something. They certainly look old.” Unexpected skulls notwithstanding, the idea of a mystery still appealed to her. “I wonder if we can ferret it out?”
“During our copious free time.”
She shot him a look, wanting to ask – not sure if she should – what had him so busy. Then she turned away and straightened.
Just as her light flickered.
Asch swore, and Natalia came close to it, and for a few seconds they both stared at her fonlight, waiting to see what would happen. As Jade had predicted years ago, everyone was feeling the effects of fonon decrease, in every area of their lives. Fontech that had once been so omnipresent and reliable as to be thought magic was now unpredictable.
Natalia's light held steady, but Asch's light flickered. Natalia glanced back the way they'd come. “Should we – ”
“Hold on.”
They waited, watching the lights.
“They're fine,” Asch said, quite firm.
Then the lights went out.