Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was just another morning on Earth and Zim was on the couch sleeping like a smeet. He had been working in the lab for a long time and had got a bit of a headache for some reason so he decided to stop for a while and go to sleep.

"Master, it's 8:00, you need to get ready for skool", said Computer. Zim groaned as he turned the other way and slowly opened his eyes. As he sits up on the couch, Computer hands him his wig and contacts.

"Ugh, it's times like this that I wish skool didn't exist on this filthy planet." The little irken finished getting ready and made sure to check on GIR and Minimoose, who were sleeping after a rowdy night they had playing. "Well, I'm off to the dreaded place of all children's nightmares, make sure GIR doesn't destroy the house", Zim called out as he walked out the door. "Have a nice day", Computer replied. "Yeah, whatever thanks." Zim continued his walk to skool, but he felt something strange happening in his body like he was still feeling tired even though he slept for a few hours, but he decided to ignore it and carry on.

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As Zim walked into the classroom, he just sat down at his desk, only to soon be greeted by Dib, who had just walked through the door. "So you're thinking of another plan to take over earth, Space-Boy?" The irken rolled his eyes at that. "That's none of your concern right now stink-beast", he said as he waved his hand in a dismissing way. "Whatever, I'll stop whatever it is you have planned and it basically is my concern cause it's my planet." "And who said it was?" Dib went silent at that question. "Well me of course because I-"

"Dib, sit down now or I'll gonna fail you for standing up!" The boy jumped as he heard Ms. Bitters loudly scold him and rushed to his seat. "Yes, ma'am."

Ms. Bitters went over to her desk. "Now class, since flu season is here, today's lesson is going to be about how the flu is more dangerous then you think and how it will make your life doom if you're not careful." As the teacher went on and on, Zim started feeling his headache coming back and held his head. From a distance, Dib was watching him. 'What are you holding your head for, alien scum?', he thought. 'Probably from thinking of too many plans to take over Earth.' Zim didn't know what to do with the headache. He was careful with his experiments last night and didn't have any explosions, so that couldn't be why. He was even sniffling, and it wasn't from a stench. But what made his headache feel worse was the bell ringing for lunch. He quickly got up and ran out with the other students.

In the cafeteria, the disguised irken found an empty table, sat down, and put his head down to try to relieve the headache. Meanwhile, Dib was sitting at another table with his sister Gaz as she was busy playing on her Game Slave 3. Dib tapped on her shoulder. "See him, Gaz?", he pointed to Zim. "I told you he's up to no good, just laying his green head down, thinking of plans to try and destory Earth." Gaz looked up from her game and looking at a now sleeping Zim. "He's just sleeping."

"He is?", Dib asked surprised. 'Huh, I thought Irkens don't sleep, but whatever, I need to know what he's up to.' Dib got up from the table and walked over to Zim's table and started poking his shoulder. "Hey, Space-Boy, wake up." It went on for a few seconds until Zim shot up in annoyance and anger as he turned his head to Dib. "WHAT?! WHAT IS IT, YOU BIG-HEADED PIG-BRAIN?!", he screamed in his face, which did a number on his throat which was kinda sore already. "Woah okay, calm down", Dib said as he put his hands up but then puts them on the table. "But anyways, what are you up to?"

Zim scoffed. "Like I said it's none of your damn business, Dib-beast. Now leave Zim be." Dib just looked, getting annoyed that Zim wasn't telling him anything. He was about to say something else when Zim started coughing again so he stepped back. The coughing fit that was taking a painful toll on poor Zim had gotten worse, not to mention, loud.

It finally stopped after a few more seconds, but it caught the attention of almost everyone in the cafeteria. As the disguised irken raised his head up from his recovery, he had his mouth covered as he saw the looks of his classmates. "Um, that was a normal human cough, nothing to see here", he said, putting a fake grin on, which was enough for the kids to go back to minding their business, even though some were whispering about how loud and annoying the coughing was.

He dropped the grin as he put his laid his head back down and had a hand on his throat after trying to clear it. 'Great, now my throat's hurting more', Zim thought.

"Um, Zim?" He heard Dib ask and lifted his head up to glare at him. "What now?"

"That cough did not sound like a human cough." "What's it to you, smelly?" Just then, the bell rang for class again, but Zim heard it like it was an explosion that set off in his head. He got off the table bench and tried to walk out of the cafeteria. All the while, Dib was watching him. As he kept walking down the hallway, he still felt weak. Not only that, but the nausea in his squeedlyspooch was getting worse.

Since the closest door he was near was the restroom, he slumped in there. Seconds later, he found himself going to a stall, dropping to his knees, and vomiting into the toilet. It was like when he had those waffles GIR kept making him eat when he learned they had soap in them. But this was different because he was feeling horrible. It took a few seconds for him to stop, but even that didn't help. After flushing the toilet, Zim sat on the floor leaning near the wall. He was lucky no one had come in while he was puking his guts out since he was being loud while doing it. As he held his forehead to try stopping the headache, he realized that he felt very hot even from his gloves. 'Am I coming down with some human illness or something?'

With that, the disguised irken was deciding on whether he should go to the nurse or let his PAK deal with it, but he didn't know if it will go away later. He sighed as he slowly got up from the floor, got out of the stall, and walked out of the restroom while using the wall for support since he didn't want to risk passing out in the middle of the hallway.

Zim made sure he didn't see the hall monitor as he was going to the nurse. He probably could've vomited on him since he still had nausea. The nurse's office was barely full today. There were very few kids there, including one kid who had a football stuck in his mouth and another kid who had a stick of glue stuck to her hair. He walked up to the receptionist lady who was filing her nails who saw and looked at him.

"Can I help you?", she asked in a bored tone. Zim just coughed into his fist. "Um, I think I am coming down with some kind of sickness that needs tending to", he replied. The lady pointed to an empty chair. "Go sit over there and wait for the nurse to come check on you." Zim wasted no time going to sit down because he didn't want to stand any longer right now.

It wasn't long until the smiling nurse came out of a room and went over to Zim. "Oh, I remember you, you had head pigeons once, so what's the problem?" She had been given an answer when Zim covered his mouth with his hand signaling that he had to throw up again, but swallowed it. "You're feeling sick, sweetie?" He nodded. She pulled a thermometer out and placed it in Zim's mouth and then took it out. "103.6?! Oh dear, you need to be in bed! I'll get the receptionist to call your parents to come pick you up so you can stay home until you're all better", she told him. "Oh, uh, can I call them myself?", Zim said, panicking a bit. "Sure."

As she walked off, Zim turned away from the others and spoke into his communicator. "GIR, come in." "Yes master?", he answered, eyes red. "I need you *cough* to inform Computer to get the *cough* roboparents to come take me *cough* back to the base, I seem to have caught some *cough* human illness."

"OK, BYE!", he said happily as Zim hung up. Seconds later, he heard the sound of the Roboparents coming in and burst through the door, with people turning to look. "Ready to come home, son?", the robomom asked. "Affimative." With that, Zim was picked up into the robomom's arms and then they proceeded to use their rocket feet to fly out, not before the robodad took a lollipop from the bowl on the desk.

The whole office stayed silent until one kid said "Lucky."

Chapter Text

GIR was jumping on the couch like a trampoline while Minimoose was flying around trying to catch a fly when the door suddenly burst open and the roboparents rolled in with a sick shivering Zim in the robomom's arms. "Welcome home, master", Computer said as Zim was let down and had his disguise taken off. "I heard the nurse say that you were-"

"MASTER!" "NYAH!" GIR leaped off the couch, ran over to Zim, and hugged his leg and Minimoose nudged his head. The irken sighed. "Not today GIR and *cough* Minimoose, Zim is feeling under the *cough* human weather, if that's what they call it." He peeled the little robot off his leg and went over to the couch to sit down.

"Computer", Zim called, his voice still sounding sore. "Run a diagnostic scan *cough* to see what kind of disgusting human illness I *cough* have contracted."

"Right away", he replied. Zim laid down with a pillow as Computer scanned him. GIR tried to get closer but was held back by Minimoose's telekinesis. "So what does it say?"

"It says you just have a fever, cough, and chills, so I can't really say if it's a human illness, but if you show more symptoms later, then I'll check again." The irken groaned and curled up on the couch. "In the meantime, why don't you get some sleep?"

"N-no, I have *cough* things to do and I can't *cough* miss it." Computer put a large comforter over him. "I'm sure you'll do it when you're all better."

Zim coughed again. "Fine." Then he felt his head pounding as he saw GIR jumping on the couch again. "Master let's play!"

"No, GIR, Master needs rest right now", Computer said as he used an arm to lift GIR from the couch and moved him to the kitchen. "Nyah?", Minimoose asked. "Master's feeling sick right now so he needs some sleep." "Nyah." Minimoose flew into the kitchen.

"Thanks", said Zim. "You're welcome, master", Computer replied. "Now get some sleep." Zim nodded slowly as he yawned. For an irken who is known to be reckless, he was feeling tired. Zim was still somewhat hearing the noises of GIR coming from the kitchen as he closed his eyes.

-The next day-

"Master, how are you feeling?", Computer's voice called. The irken had slept ever since he came back from school yesterday but hadn't had a good night's sleep as he was coughing more and vomited a few times. Zim pulled his head out from underneath the extra comforters he got during the night as he was complaining that he was still feeling cold. His skin was now more pale than his normal skin color and his cheeks were blue.

"C-computer", he said as he hugged his blankets, his body in pain. "I *cough* think that the *cough* illness has *cough* gotten worse."

"Yes, I can see", Computer said as he did another diagnostic scan on Zim. It looked like it had been updated. "Well master, it says here that your symptoms are fever, coughing, pale skin, blue cheeks, headache, vomiting, sneezing, fatigue, chills, muscle aches, sore throat, and sweating. It appears that you have come down with the Irken Flu."

Zim's eyes went a bit wide at that. "A-are you *cough* sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure of that", Computer replied. The Irken Flu was the one of the only illnesses that the PAK couldn't filter out in just a few minutes or so. It was similar to the human flu because of the symptoms but unlike it, the Irken Flu lasts for more than a week and the symptoms were somewhat worse. Only very few Irkens had very severe cases and some had died from it. Luckily, there were rare chances that other species could catch it.

"I *cough* have to get ready for *cough* school right now", Zim said as he tried to get up but Computer used an arm to lightly push him back down.

"Sorry master, but the nurse said you wouldn't be going to school for a while and you're gonna need to lay down and rest."

"But, how will I plan *cough* to take over this *cough* filthy planet if I'm *cough* sick?", Zim asked in a frustrated tone as he wiped some sweat off his face. "You'll have plenty of time to do that but not in the condition that you're in right now", Computer said, trying to reassure him.

"A-and what about the *cough* Tallest? They're *cough* gonna be *cough* so disappointed that I've haven't *cough* contacted them."

"Maybe they'll understand", Computer insisted. "Or won't care at all since they're assholes." Luckily Zim was still feeling tired so he couldn't hear that last sentence. GIR ran into the living room with a plate of waffles. "GOOD MORNING!" Zim held his head to try and relieve the pain from his robot's shouting. "GIR, it's like 4:00 in the *cough* morning, why *cough* are you making *cough* waffles at this time?"

He had a smile on his face and his tongue was sticking out. "Because it's morning!" The smell from the waffles was enough for Zim to get nauseous again and vomit into the bucket that was next to the couch and then coughed again. GIR ran over and tried to feed Zim a waffle from the plate.

"GIR", said Computer. "Master won't be able to eat waffles right now because it's early in the morning and also he's very sick, so you can eat the waffles." The little robot looked up with a blank stare which turned into a smile. "SUIT YOURSELF!", he said as he scarfed down on the waffles. Minimoose flew over to Zim and nudges his head. "Nyah?"

"No Minimoose, I still don't *cough* feel well." Zim laid back down underneath the blankets as he started shivering again. 'And I thought I had caught human germs', he thought. "Get some rest, Master", said Computer. "Don't worry about your plans, they'll still be there when you're healthy again."

Zim groaned. "Fine, I shall rest and then think *cough* about how I'll *cough* take over this *cough* planet." GIR had finished eating his waffles and ran over to the couch and jumped on. "What now, GIR?"

"I wanna sleep with yew", he said innocently. Zim coughed again. "Fine, but don't disturb me." Then he felt another weight on the couch. "Nyah." "You can sleep here too, Minimoose."

GIR snuggled into Zim's sweating face. "You boiling, Master." The sick Irken nodded. "I know, and I'm feeling *cough* hot like the Earth sun, along *cough* with feeling like I'm on a *cough* 0 degree planet."

"Good night, Master", Computer said to him.

"G-good night *cough*", Zim replied weakly as he went back to sleep, along with his robots.

'Poor master', Computer thought.

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Dib was sitting in class as he was waiting for Zim to show up. He heard the loud puking coming from the restroom yesterday and was going to go in to check to see if it was Zim, but he had to go to class, but knew something was up when Zim didn't come back to class. However, many minutes have passed and the classroom was filled with many students except for the Irken.

The chatter of the students died down when Ms. Bitters entered the classroom. "Alright you little brats", she said as she went to her desk. "Today's lesson will be about-" She was interrupted by Dib's hand raising up. "Yes, Dib?"

"Why isn't Zim here?", he asked.

"I don't know and I don't care", she replied back. "Now anyways-" At that point Dib decided to just stare at Zim's desk the whole period until Ms. Bitters scolded him about getting back to work. 'I'll get to the bottom of this, Zim', he thought as he worked on his short essay.

At lunch, Zim didn't show up either. He went over to Gaz who was busy playing on her video game again. "He's not here, Gaz", he groaned. "Who?"

"Zim, that's who! He didn't come back to class after he left the cafeteria yesterday and I don't know how or why." Gaz rolled her eyes, not bothering to care. "I didn't really notice because of a lecture our teacher was giving on how flowers wilt and the fact that me and you had to come home right away because Dad's coworkers were coming over for dinner and wanted us there to talk about how one of us will 'possibly be the new heir to Membrane Labs in the future' or something like that, and Zim's not here, not in class nor here in the cafeteria."

Gaz was still focusing on her level. "So what are you gonna do since he's not at school?" Dib had his hand on his chin as he tried to think. "I don't know Gaz, I can try to go over to his base after school to see what he's up to and that thing would be-" "Being an idiot?", Gaz interrupted. "What?! No Gaz, trying to take over the earth is what he's probably trying to do."

"Yeah, sure, you want me to tell Clembrane that you won't be home until later?", she asked. "He's still worried because of the time you broke your wrist from falling out of a tree trying to spy on Zim and his stupid robot."

"Hey, he was trying to get the cats to attack the ice cream man for not letting him have ice cream because he only had a penny with him", Dib defended. "But yeah, make sure to let him know or he'll go crazy." Gaz nodded and went back to her game.

'Wait a minute', Dib thought. Zim was there yesterday but left after lunch and didn't show up for the rest of the day. Since there was loud vomiting from the restroom and that Zim was coughing earlier, he suspected that Zim went to the nurse's office.

He decided that after lunch, he would rush to the nurse to ask about Zim and if he went there. Soon the bell rang and the kids were filing out while Dib rushes through the crowd to go to the nurse's office. As he opened the door, he was greeted by the receptionist typing away at the computer. "Um, excuse me?" The woman stopped typing and looked at Dib. "Something the matter?"

"Did Zim come here yesterday, you know, the green kid?", he asked.

"Oh yeah, the nurse said he was sick and sent him home early."

'I knew it', he thought. "Ok, thanks anyway", he said as he left the nurse's office and went to recess.

At recess, Dib was sitting next to Gaz underneath a tree. "Do you think he got food poisoning?", he asked her. "If he did then, wouldn't everyone had got it since the food was horrible?" "You're right, maybe it's some early kind of chicken pox?" "Only younger kids get that." "Oh, or what about-"

"Dib, I'm going to slam your giant head into the ground if you make me lose my high score with all your rambling", Gaz threatened as she turned to him with a deep glare on her face. Dib gulped as he scooted away.

'Why do I even bother asking what kind of sickness Zim has?', he thought. 'I mean, why am I feeling kind of concerned that Zim might be really sick or something, wait, concerned for my enemy being sick?' Dib and Zim's relationship had changed a little bit long after the whole Florpus thing. Yes, they would still fight, but had more moments of being concerned for one another somehow.

His thoughts were interrupted by a hard force to his cheek and he fell over. Dib sat up slowly to see a ball and then Keef running up to him. "Sorry about that Dib, I was playing basketball and I threw it too hard." He stood up and dusted himself off. "It's fine, I guess."

"By the way, I heard about Zim, is it true that he's not feeling well?", Keef asked in worry. "Oh that's horrible, do you think I should make him something to cheer him up, maybe I can get him-" At that point, Dib just looked at the school fence, ignoring Keef. He wondered if he should find a way to skip school to go spy on Zim and see if he's sick at all, but there was only a few hours of school left so he had to wait until the final bell of the day.

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As the final bell rang, Dib rushed out of the classroom to the doors with the other kids. 'Finally! I can go see what Zim's up to', he thought as he ran to Zim's house. 'I'm still not sure if he's sick, or maybe... he's all schmoopy?' So, he has two answers to why Zim didn't come to school. Either he's sick or schoompy. Dib had no idea what Zim was doing, but whatever it was, he was going to stop him.

He reached Zim's house, almost running out of breath. He took a moment to breathe and then was able to dodge through the gnomes thanks to those new stunt lessons Gaz reluctantly gave him. He pulled his phone out and quickly deactivated them with a program he used from his dad's lab. "Alright Dib, here goes nothing aaanndd I'm talking to myself", he groaned. He rang the doorbell and was met with GIR holding a rubber piggy in his hand. He dropped it and squealed. "HI MARY!", he cheered as he hugged Dib's leg. The boy had no idea why GIR kept calling him that but regardless, he weirdly patted GIR's head.

"Um, hi there, where's your master?", he asked. "He under the monsters", GIR replied happily.

"The what?", Dib asked, confused. GIR pointed to the couch. "Master keeps being cold so he asked the computer for more warm monsters and they ate him up."

"I, uh-" "He's talking about the blankets, human", another voice said, which Dib quickly recognized as Zim's computer.

"Well, can I come in now, I'm looking for Zim since he didn't-" GIR pulled Dib's hand to let him in. 'I guess that's a yes.' "Let's watch Floopsy Bloops Schoompsy!", the little robot said in excitement. Dib took GIR's hand off of his. "Not right now, GIR, I need to see what's up with Zim." He looked at the couch where Zim supposedly was and walked over to it slowly.

"Zim?" He stared at the lump that was underneath the covers. As he gently lifted the blankets, what Dib saw next replaced his suspicions with some concern.

It was Zim who was sleeping, but he still had his yellow-green (pale) skin and his blue flushed cheeks with some sweat on his face. He looked like he was in an awful state of sickness. "W-what happened to him?"

"He's sick with something called the Irken Flu", Computer explained. "It's like the human flu but kinda worse with the symptoms, but don't worry, it's not contagious to humans."

"Oh." Dib looked at the sick Irken and then puts the blankets back on him but to where he can see his face. Feeling somewhat curious with hesitation, he places his hand on Zim's forehead. As soon as he felt the heat from it, he quickly pulls it back. "He's burning up."

GIR runs over to Dib. "Is he an oven?" "No GIR, he has a fever and-" His talking was interrupted by a loud groan and cough as Zim slowly opened his eyes. When his vision became clear again, he saw Dib standing there.