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back then as a 10 year old, making friends was the easiest, most anxiety-free task to do. a simple, ‘hey, do you want to be friends?’ is all it took to create a new buddy and hopefully one lucky person gets to be your best friend even.
that’s how luca and shu became to be. luca saw shu playing with his plush penguin during play time and asked if he could be friends with him because he had a plush lion that would get along very well with the bird. and just like that, they became the closest of friends.
between the two, luca always seemed like the leader while shu was the follower, but he didn’t mind that much. luca constantly had these wild ideas in his head, and shu loved hearing what he had to say. a speaker-listener system grew, and fit perfectly for their mbti personalities types.
luca noticed shu would often get nervous to ask him to do things with him, like be his partner for an assignment or have a play date with him outside of school. he doesn’t really understand why, but perhaps he’s a bit of the overly loud type so it can be intimidating; or at least he would tell himself that. he wishes that shu would find comfort in him soon, because he does love spending time with him.
today though, somehow, the nerves got even worse. luca doesn’t catch on most of the time when it comes to emotions, but he can tell that shu has become a bit shy and reserved to himself. maybe it’s because of the weird celebration going on today in class.
it was called ‘valentine’s day’. but ask luca what ‘valentine’s’ means and he couldn’t tell you one guess about the word; he’s totally clueless. but he does know it has something to do with pink and hearts, as the hallways were decorated in those kinds of decorations as far as he could see.
“hey shu.” he asked him while climbing up a tree to sit on the sturdiest branch during playground time. “are you ok?’
“huh?” shu lifts his head up to watch luca dangle his feet. the nerves made him grow a habit of picking at grass when his chest feels heavy. “what makes you ask that?”
“i don’t know. you seem quiet today.” he hangs upside down on that branch, his face hovering right by shu’s head.
“what?” he becomes a flustered mess, noticing luca’s lip almost accidentally hit against his cheek. “no! i’m not quiet! see, I’M LOUD!” he raises his voice, but stumbles between his words.
“huh… that’s kinda-”
“i swear.” he pouts with blush written all over his body. “i’m… fine. today has just been… confusing me a lot.”
“hm.” luca puffs his cheek seeing shu’s face get all shy around him again. he didn’t like that he felt confused or uncomfortable. “hey, you seem lonely down there.” luca swings himself back up to the branch, patting an empty seat next to him. “come join me! the view is cool from here.”
“oh…” shu crumbles the stray grass pieces between his fingers. “it’s ok. i’m kinda scared of heights.”
“don’t worry! it’s not too high. and you should know,” luca claps his hands. “i’m right next to you, so i won’t let you get hurt!”
“really?” the little boy gazed at luca with such a glimmer.
“yep!” he holds out his hand, waiting for shu to join him at the top. “you got this!”
shu takes in a deep breath. climbing up a tree never seemed like fun in his mind, as the possibilities of hurting oneself is endless. being way up high with no real stable support felt unsettling.
but if it’s for luca- to be with luca- then he would shake those worries away and be strong for him.
he jumps up to grab on one skinny branch, latching his feet onto the trunk of the tree. already, he fears washed over him, convincing himself that he was going to fall and break his spine in half. “luca… h-”
“i got you!” luca gripped onto his wrist, using all his force to help pull shu up to the branch. shu stumbled trying to catch his balance, but with luca holding onto him, there was a blossomed undoubted trust that he would remain safely by his side. luca firmly placed his hand by shu’s side. “see, that wasn’t so bad, right?”
luca’s hand resting on his ribcage felt like it was burning through his skin, it was difficult to not let his mind focus on the heartening touch. “yea. i guess so.”
“you can see everyone from here! nice view, isn’t it?”
the leaves brisks through the winds; from up here, they almost look like a giant parachute falling on top of the running kids’ heads. the view was pretty nice, but shu’s eyes were glued to what was next to him instead. “yea.” he whispered subtly.
“don’t you-”
“luca!” a shout from the distance is heard.
“eh?” luca tilts his head down to see one of his friends sprinting towards their area with his arms flailing around like a frightened monkey. “oh boy… it’s vox.”
“luca!” he stands at the bottom of the tree stump, panting to catch his breath after rushing to them. “i need…. wait one sec…”
“is it something important?” luca yells from above.
“YES! IT’S VERY IMPORTANT!” he huffs. “today… I THINK I’M GONNA CONFESS TO IVY FOR VALENTINE’S DAY!”
“huh? confess? what do you-“
“i’m gonna tell ivy i like her! but i need your help.” he clasps his hands together in a beg.
“what? like her? YUCK.” luca pretends to gag, never interested in the idea of love at his age.
“yuck…?” shu had been eaves dropping on their conversation the entire time.
somehow that one little reaction from luca made shu’s insides feel icky and disappointed.
“never mind that!” vox blushes at response. “just please, help me out.”
“how am i gonna help-“
“follow me!”
luca swiftly glimpsed at shu. “um, i’m kinda doing something right now.”
“it’ll be quick i promise!” vox taps his foot.
“fine! one sec though!” luca turns around, patting shu’s back. “i’ll be right back! is it ok if you stay here for now?”
shu nods his head timidly. “ok.”
“i’ll come back to get you!” he jumps off from the branch with no hesitation. vox immediately begins to drag luca in the direction of the big pile of bushes. “bye shu!”
shu waits for his prince to come back. “bye.”
the two headed for the bush with the most colors painted on it. with a rush to confess, vox pulls luca around like he’s dead meat. “ow! can you let go of me? you know you interrupting my playtime with shu!” he snatches his arm away from vox.
“were you doing something significant with him? come on, this is LIFE OR DEATH RIGHT HERE!” he bends down, scavenging the leaves for some pretty looking plants. “i really like ivy. i need her to say yes to me. now help me find some flowers.”
luca squats down next to him. “it’s nothing special, but my playtime with shu is very important to me! but i will help you out since you seem so desperate, so you better be grateful!” he joins in on picking the brightest colored flowers.
“why is that important? he’s not your valentine, is he??” he side eyes luca. “it kinda did seem a bit intense up there in that branch…”
“what? all that happened was shu was scared to climb with me.” he scrunches his nose. “what even is ‘valentines’ anyways? is it a sort of chocolate or something? i keep seeing people eat them today.”
vox jumps up on his feet, bunching the flowers up into a nice bouquet. “don’t worry about it.” he holds out his hand for luca to give him the other half of the plants. he only takes a few as it was full enough, leaving a couple left in luca’s palms. “ok… now i need you to go find ivy and tell her there’s a surprise waiting for her at the swings, you got it?”
luca wants to shake out the sprouting inquiry of what a valentine was, but with his loose attention span, the boy just shrugs it off. “alright. i’m rooting for you!”
“thanks, luca. i owe you one.” vox grins before heading off to the slides to await the moment he’s been dying for.
i don’t understand crushes at this age… kinda weird. luca stretches his arms as he searches the playground for the girl with glasses and blue dyed tips. i much rather play with shu than date!
once he spots ivy on a bench reading a book, he approaches her. “hey ivy.”
“oh.” she closes her book. “hi luca!”
“you didn’t hear it from me, but i think there’s a special surprise waiting for you by the slides. you should go check it out!”
“ah really?” she gathers her things up in a flutter. “i-i should go check it out then! thanks for telling me luca.” she gives a little bow before scurrying over there, where vox is standing with the bouquet of flowers behind his back.
from this far away, he obviously couldn’t hear their conversation, but from his observation, he could depict vox holding out the flowers, heating up like a red tomato as he hands them to her for his confession. he notices ivy jump happily while nodding her head and the two hug each other closely, clearly having a wide grin on both of their faces.
it looks like that was a huge success. luca quietly claps for vox’s happiness.
he walks back over towards the tree with the leftover flowers are still in his grasp with the picture in his mind of vox and ivy hugging so dearly. hm… is that what it means to have a valentine? steps away, he stares at shu who had stayed right where he left him, tapping his shoes together as he patiently waited for luca on the branch. i like hugs. they feel warm and cozy. i like hugs from shu. maybe…
“shu!” he reached the bottom of the trunk, kicking his feet around at the pebbles while holding his hands behind his back. “i returned.”
“luca.” shu shivers, barely being able to look back down to the ground from his fear of heights. “i don’t think i can stay up here any longer. can you help me get down?” he whimpers. “please?”
“oh, i’m so sorry. that was stupid leaving you up there.” luca opens his arms out. “here, jump down. i can catch you.”
“uh…” he hesitates, trembling at the thought of free falling for even a few seconds. “luca, i’m scared.”
“don’t worry. i won’t let you get hurt.” his chest starts to feel funny, but puts on a brave grin anyway just for him. “i got you, shu!”
with the gleam the golden boy glistens in the sunlight, shu’s heart falls before his body does.
“3… 2… 1…”
“jump!”
shu leaps down right into luca’s arms, the adrenaline kicking in for one second before immediately fleeting away when he feels luca squeeze him warmly, protecting him from any scratches or bumps.
“you ok? did you get hurt?” luca has his hands locked together with the stem of the flowers still held in his clench.
“um… i think i’m oka-”
“that’s good.” luca nestles his head in shu’s shoulder, giving him a proper hug.
he doesn’t know why his brain decided to act this way; maybe he was copying vox to get to the bottom of what a valentine is, maybe he feels like he’s missing out on this lovey holiday.
or maybe he just wanted to hug shu.
whatever it was, it made his cheeks toast up like a sugary smore by an open campfire.
“luca?” he stuttered. “what are you doing?”
“oh.” luca lets go of the hug, returning to his normal state. “did i make you uncomfortable?”
“no no.” he gives a slight smile. “i liked it. it made me feel safe after the fall.”
“really?” he stopped hiding the flowers around shu, revealing the miniature leftover bouquet in front of his best friend’s face. “then these are for you.”
“what?!” shu flinches backward, swearing that his heart almost literally leaped out of his chest.
“hm?” he tilts his head. “what’s wrong?”
“uh…” shu accepts the flower with a strawberry tint on his face. “nothing. how did it go with vox?”
“i think it went well. not really sure. it was kinda strange… i don’t understand it one bit.”
“oh…” shu tries so hard not to drop his head with dismay.
“but i had these extra flowers i picked, so i thought i’d give them to you.” he grins. “happy valentine’s day.”
“happy valentine’s day…?”
“yep. seems like everyone is getting paired up for some reason, i still don’t have a clue what this day means.” he stands up, itching to go swing around on the tree branches again. “but you seem lonely, and i’m lonely too. so why not?”
why not… shu brushes his thumb against the delicate petals of the lilac flowers. why not.
shu puts one of the flowers in his hair, brushing it back to show how appreciative he was of the gift luca has given him, even if it was without much thought. it truly meant the world to him. “thanks luca!” finally, his smile beams with the genuine bliss that spreads through his veins from the boy’s sweet gesture; the boy that he’s grown very fond of, in a way that luca would never realize. “i’m so glad i have you. i’ll cherish this!”
“woah…” he gasps from shu’s reaction.
something felt different. why couldn’t luca take his eyes of his shu in this moment? was it because of what the flower in his hair does to him, which somehow makes him adorable in luca’s eyes? or was it because of the enormous grin on his face when he accepted the present he thought of giving last minute? was it the air flowing through his locks, or was it the sunlight glowing against his skin?
he didn’t know the answer to any of those questions, but whatever the right one was, luca’s cheeks grew rosy just from the sight of his best friend in front of him. what is happening to me? ugh. it’s so weird.
“woah what?” shu caught on to his response.
“nothing…” luca shakes his head, feeling a certain ache in his stomach for the first time. “i’m really glad i have you as well.”
~
now as a 22 year old, life gets a bit more complicated. and by a bit, it actually means a shit ton. not just the aspect of finding people that will work as your friends, but the responsibilities you are in charge of, the decisions you have to make with your own brain, the motivation you have to keep up in order to put your fullest into the world.
luca can’t necessarily say that he hated those long years, but he definitely didn’t love it.
“ayo!” mysta tackles luca while he was standing around in the hallways of their university, catching him off guard. “what’s up? why do you look like that?”
luca flinches back to reality. “huh? did i look lost in space?”
his current closest friend nods his head. “yea. are you maybe… upset you don’t have a date this year?”
“ah right…” luca clicks his tongue. “it’s valentine’s day, isn’t it. completely slipped my mind.”
even at this day and age, students care so much about this “special” holiday. no matter where luca goes, love is always in the air, and he can’t escape it one bit.
“you’re one crazy guy alright. i can’t believe you’ve never dated a girl before. you know, your school years are almost over. don’t you feel like you’ll regret not being able to witness what a young and naive school sweetheart experience is like? you won’t be able to ever feel this again after graduation.”
he rolls his eyes. “the word ‘naive’ does not grab my attention to start getting into a relationship, if that’s what you were trying to do.”
there wasn’t a huge reason why luca was so bitter against love. he just never felt it. it sometimes makes him envious that he doesn’t know what it’s like, but he’s the type of person to not force such a complex feeling onto himself if his heart is not up to the challenge. from what he’s seen, love hurts, love is time consuming, love is confusing, love needs so much critical thinking.
he’s enjoying his single, carefree life now. what’s making him want to indulge in any part of that heated emotion?
“do you not see all the girls that swoon over you? you practically have a line waiting to have one date with you! you have the taste of romance right at your fingertips and you’re telling me you want none of it?” mysta waves his arms around, showcasing the girls that giggle at luca as they walk by him.
“i don’t know…” he innocently waves at one girl with no true intention behind it. “i just don’t feel it.”
“whatever man. your loss.” mysta smacks his back as they both head outside, knowing at this point the blonde is just a lost cause. “enjoy your valentine’s day, i guess.”
valentine’s day… luca eyes the overwhelming amount of couples littering the environment as far as the school building ends. “happy valentine’s day to you t-“
valentine’s day has always been just another boring day on his calendar. he never celebrated much, as his lack of dating would be the culprit.
he can only recall one occasion when he technically celebrated the holiday properly. and it goes all the way back to when he was 10 years old with his childhood best friend.
aka, the person that luca catches a quick glimpse at, who stands by a towering tree, chatting amongst a group of friends luca could not depict any of their names at this very moment.
shu yamino.
throughout his entire childhood before university, him and shu were inseparable. every breathing minute they could, the two hung around each other, somehow never growing wary of the other’s presence. they fit together like a puzzle piece. just a couple of kids caring less about the true meaning of responsibility and maturity.
but as most of how luca’s previous friendships went, the two’s bond eventually fizzled out. there were no hard feelings for the separation, but their time only drifted naturally because of different career paths and future interests. luca majors in athletics while shu majors in technology. it was bound to happen when it all began with a plush penguin and a plush lion in the first place.
back then as a teenager, he thought he could never live without shu in his life, he swore they would be the bestest of friends until they grew white hair and wrinkles.
but somehow, he lost track of time and it abruptly happened on him, whether he wanted that or not.
luca sometimes noticed when shu was around the hallways or in the cafeteria, minding his own
business, but he never dared to approach him. it never really crossed his mind to rekindle their friendship, as the two were busy as bees, juggling their hectic life. plus, what would he even say after all those years lost of not sharing secrets or telling each other about their days. a common topic would be nonexistent; for sure the reconnection would be awkward.
but every time he sees him, he can’t help but miss those nostalgic memories that made him smile like never before.
he misses the days when they would play video games together and shu would try so hard not to show that he was genuinely upset when luca beat him, usually making excuses why he lost. he misses the days when they would go out to sing karaoke, screaming out their favorite songs until their throats physically hurt. he misses the days when they laughed together over the dumbest inside jokes they shared only between the two of them.
he misses his game rages, his honey singing voice, and his little giggles.
shu wasn’t his only friend, but he was an unforgettable one for him for sure. especially that moment they had back on valentine’s day when they were 10 and he whimsically gave shu those leftover flowers as a lighthearted gift. but right when luca caught him putting that one flower in his hair, his stomach churned in a way that’s indescribable to him.
that was his only valentine’s day memory.
and right at that point in time, luca catching one glance at shu by the cherry tree, it all came crashing down on him. it hit him when he reminisced on the past blossom he used to cherish so dearly back then.
he was never interested in love or being in relationships, because this entire time, he had buried his hidden crush on his ex best friend.
he had dismissed his crush on shu as him simply being his great pal.
but that time when his stomach knotted while realizing how attractive shu was to him for the first time, or that time when his chest flipped when shu hugged him when he won the big race for his school team, or even now, while he’s staring at shu hold his textbooks while nodding his head to some guy; his heart pounds. his heart pounds only when he thinks of him.
how could he be so naive to never notice this? luca usually never listens to mysta’s remarks, but he might’ve been onto something this time around.
“god.” luca clenches his fist, regretting all the previous valentines he missed not being shared with the friend he grew to love.
“huh?” mysta waved his hands right in front of luca’s face. “hello? you’re lost in space again!”
“you’re still here?” luca snapped back to reality, away from his longing thoughts.
“you were about to wish me a good valentine, but then suddenly you froze mid sentence.”
luca’s body heated up from head to toe. “i’m not interested in dating! that’s final!” he runs off in a sweat knowing well he had completely lied.
he couldn’t bear facing mysta during all of this. after sassing him off with such a huge disinterest in love and relationships, it would’ve been embarrassing if he backtracked and confessed he had been in love with a student named shu the entire time.
luca has made many mistakes in his adulthood. nobody’s perfect when being launched into the real world with not much experience living on your own. but there will be one mistake that luca will regret forever no matter how long he lives for: letting go of shu.
it’s too late now. there’s no chemistry left between them. it’s been too long to confess his “sudden” feelings to the boy.
~
“congrats students! i’m proud to announce that this year… HAS OFFICIALLY GRADUATED!”
left and right, students scurrying around either to wish their fellow classmates a fair well or finding their families to be showered with hugs and well-done remarks.
but in luca mind, all he could think of is: it’s now or never. this truly is his last chance to make things right and fulfill his heart once and for all, and for the first time as well.
the urge didn’t help when he saw him get called up to receive his diploma, shining with that beautiful smile for completing such a tremendous moment in his life.
there’s no way he can let that vision out of his sight anymore. from valentine’s day up until now, he hasn’t gathered the courage to ask shu out or even catch up since the old times. this entire time, he has been secretly crushing on the boy while stalking him in the hallways, learning his schedule pattern of when he usually appears when transitioning to his next class just so he can see that face he grew to adore every day.
it was a bit creepy, but he’s recently learned that love makes you do crazy things. stupid ones too. he can’t forgive himself for never having the balls to just approach the guy again.
but with that face and vision in mind, there’s a time and place where he need to grows some balls now, or else an endless regret will weigh him for the rest of his life. he knows for sure it will absolutely kill him if he didn’t take his chance and let shu go just like that.
today is the last day they will be together in the same building and path. from here on, the two will be walking in the completely opposite direction. it’s time to shoot his shot.
he takes off, running against the humongous crowd of graduates to try to find and reach shu. their seatings could not be more far apart from each other; it almost feels like a corn maze having to navigate his way to find the needle in a haystack. but if he knows his eyes well enough, he would know that they could find shining needle easily, as the stainless steel- though it was tiny- somehow shines the brightest in his eyes.
that’s how shu looked like against everyone else to him. he naturally had such an alluring glow no one else had. maybe it was his heart shaped pupils that only saw it that way for him, but he swore he could always find that boy within any radius in vision. it was almost like a superpower.
there he was, standing tall for his achievements. luca can just barely picture him high fiving others and side hugging anyone that greets him with a congratulated smile.
that should be me. luca thought to himself as he became more aggressive, practically shoving people out of the way.
“sh…” he stuttered to call out his name. it occurred to the desperate boy that it’s been years since he’s verbally said shu’s name out loud. the fact that saying his name out of his own mouth makes him have butterflies in his stomach speaks enough over how much he has fallen for shu. “shu!” he blushed when he waved his arms around.
the idiocy in him was taking over. the million possible outcomes of his love life overpowered his brain, frustrating him even more that there’s an alternate universe where he wasn’t the one for shu; that his heart never got to be vulnerable in front of him.
“sh…” luca catches his breath. “shu?”
it was almost like a magic trick. perhaps sorcery even. like in those cliche movies, a couple of people walked through his sight of where shu was standing and once they passed through, he was gone.
he poofed from thin air. luca swiveled his entire body in a 360, making sure he looked through every minute angle to where shu could’ve possibly headed off in. but no luck. how could fighting so hard end this quickly?
was this the world punishing him for waiting till the very last second to follow his heart for once? it almost seems like he had the opportunity right at his fingertips but the love gods shook their finger at him and immediately took that chance away, as if he doesn’t deserve it enough.
his heart shattered. if he’s gone now, he’s gone forever.
there’s no way a computer genius will ever cross paths with an athlete. it’s just not possible.
luca didn’t think he would ever feel heartbreak before feeling a true love. but his first love has disappeared from his grasp.
“augh.” he winces out loud, clenching at his heart that’s been crumbling down. “no… don’t go…”
~
age 22 to 23 shouldn’t feel like such a time gap. but for luca and how his life has been riding through those 365 days, it’s almost been a nightmare.
the overwhelming feeling of being completely alone had been driving him insane. luca is a people person: having human beings by his side is what fuels him to succeed. but living in this busy city, only being able to afford some cheap one man apartment has prevented him from being able to fulfill that hole in his heart.
it stings, but that’s what it means to live life. it’s doesn’t help that today is the day of love in this grocery store, where couple gifts and candy are heavily promoted around every single corner. teddy bears, chocolates, roses: luca passes by every single one of them. he doesn’t need to be reminded how helplessly single he’s been.
luca pushes his cart down a better aisle, a more important aisle: the snack aisle, guiltily being the first section he darts to on his grocery list. he refuses to not be a kid at heart; no one is forcing him to be eat his healthy vegetables, what makes him want to force himself as well?
luca takes in a deep satisfying breath when he catches the stacked cans on the second highest shelf, just waiting to be dove into. cheddar cheese pringles: his heaven treat; an addiction that began when he comically decided to try all the pringle chip flavors, but ended up falling in love with just the orange dusted chip, and that flavor only.
he picks up a can and places it in his cart. then he picks up another, and another, and another, and another. what’s more important: air conditioning or the snack that motivates him to live?
that’s should be… he sneaks one more can into his cart. good!
he dashes away from the aisle as fast as possible,
knowing well that his “essential groceries” look idiotic and quite embarrassing to the regular adult eye. he doesn’t care that much if people give him judgemental stares at his purchase choices, but he knows that god is always watching. and she’s probably shaking her head in disappointment.
but rushing through a thin aisle like this would never concludes well. luca's recklessness ends up with him accidentally bumping into an innocent shopper just looking to find some tasty cookies. his side got rammed by the steeled basket.
“ah!” the stranger winced in pain.
“oh my god, i’m so sorry! i should watch where i’m-“ luca caught a glimpse of the stranger and for just that one second, he instantly recognized who it was.
he bolts his head to tilt right to the floor, covering his mouth in astonishment. he couldn't believe his eyes. his heart almost pretended this was just a fever dream.
“it’s ok. i didn’t get that hurt.” the stranger swivels out of the way, continuing his path and moving on. “sorry for being in your-“
“stop!” luca grabs a hold of their wrist, squeezing it tightly after letting it go all these years. “don’t leave. i’m not letting go of you again.”
the stranger’s heart sank to his stomach, terrified of the events in play. for all he knew, a mysterious man with a basecap cap that covers his face from recognition has grabbed ahold of his wrist in such a sudden snap, as if he was trying to hurt or kidnap him.
he shivers, petrified. “who… who are you? and what do you want from me?”
“shu.” luca takes off his hat and ruffles his hair around, revealing his golden mane. “it’s me. luca. do you remember me?”
“i…” he quakes. “uh-“
“i was your childhood friend. we met when we were 6 and remained the bestest of friends until we headed off to university.” his grip on shu lessens, but he moves closer to the beat of his heart, aching to start a fire, a spark, any sort of flame with him again. “remember that time in our childhood when i invited you to come to a haunted house with me and you acted like you’d be brave and all but we ended up being scaredy pants together? that was one of my favorite moments because i couldn’t stop laughing at how hard you screamed.” luca chuckles to himself like a loser, pouring out all of his pent up feelings to his crush once and for all. “or do you remember that time when we had a sleepover together and we built that insane pillow fort? and then instead of sleeping we talked for hours and hours because we were capable of just doing that for each other? ah, and remember when-“
“luca.” shu wiggles out of his grasp. “you don’t need to remind me… of course i remember you. it only took your name for me to immediately know.”
“then...” he wanted to hold both of his hands so badly, but based on his body language, it seemed he was a little uncomfortable in this situation. “you should know that ever since we parted, i’ve regretted it so much. how could i be so dense to let someone that important in my life fly away from me just like that? the memories i said before, and so, so much more… they’ve stuck in my brain. and… and i can’t forget them no matter what i do.”
“ah…” shu scratches his arm. “guess that’s just how life rolls, i guess. it was great seeing you tho-“
“are you trying to leave me?” he panics. “please. you can’t go.”
shu eyes divert. “it’s just that-“
“no. you know what? i can’t live like this anymore. j can’t continue to make excuses.” he clenched his shirt. “shu, i like you. as in, i’ve fallen for you romantically.” he humors himself, realizing how he’s confessing his love for his childhood friend in the snack aisle of a grocery store. “i realized i’ve had a deep crush on you ever since valentine’s day of last year when we were still in school. on that day, i looked back and reminisced on the bond between us. i was going to confess to you during graduation as i thought it was my last opportunity to say something, but the crowd pushed us in separate directions and i lost you…” he presses his lips together with the adrenaline he’s gained from letting his true feelings out. “so you need to know… i need to say this now before it’s too late. i don’t want to lose you again and i don’t want to continue feeling shattered over it. so… what do you think?”
he waits for a response from the boy. he isn’t good at reading faces, but especially shu’s as he tends to not exhibit an obvious expression of how he feels. he just stood there, flabbergasted at the sudden news thrown right at his gut.
“you…” he blushes, covering the bottom half of his face. “you can’t do this to me…”
“i know it sounds crazy, especially since you and me are… you know. but i’ve had a LOT of time to think about this, and i know for sure, 100% i have feelings for you. please believe me… or at least let’s start all over.” luca begins to backtrack. “sorry, i must’ve bombed you too much.”
“no.” shu breathes in then out. “i understand. because i realized i had a crush on you too on valentine’s day. except…” he looks up with tears nearly welling up his eyelids. “it was the valentine’s day when we were 10 years old.”
“what…” luca steps back in shock. “no way…”
shu nods his head. “when you jokingly wished me a happy valentine, i took it seriously. so throughout our teen years while we were still friends, i had the biggest crush on you. i had a crush on you during that haunted house when you held onto my arm and hugged me tightly for comfort. i had a crush on you during that sleepover when we slept next to each other, my heart nearly exploding because of how close we were facing. i liked you that entire time, but i didn’t know if you felt the same and i didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had grown so fondly together.” two tears dripped down his face. “i hid that from you for years and years. but then all of a sudden you just left and we split. i cried so many nights because you broke my heart without even knowing. i thought you moved on from me. so i got myself up, stopped crying, and decided to move on as well…” he wipes his eyes, reliving those cold, lonely nights once again. “are you telling me that all of that energy was for no reason? why am i feeling this way again? i was supposed to move-“
luca gravitates towards shu, giving him the hug he’s been wanting to give since seeing him by that tree on valentine’s day. his heart skips, hating to see shu cry, but also relieved at shu’s returned confession to him as well, as it became clear he was telling the truth when he gradually got his arms to wrap around luca’s body, just like a magnet.
“i’m sorry. i should’ve told you sooner.” he lifts shu’s head up to face his. “we wasted way too much time.” he tries to wipe away the tears on his cheeks with the tips of his thumbs. “but we have this miracle now and we can’t waste it. even though we had a long opportunity to start our romance, we still have so many years left to live through. so… why don’t we live through them together?”
“i…” he sniffles. “i can't believe this is happening.”
“guess there is such a thing as valentine’s magic.” he finds shu’s hand and connects their palms together. “let’s start now. ok?”
the future is uncharted and unknown. no one could ever predict what will happen next- the next day, next week, next month, next year- but where’s the fun in being scared to not take steps into the dark? perhaps one day, the mysterious darkness will reveal itself to a sunlit path after all.
shu nods his head. “ok.”
“thanks for not letting go of me.” luca assures their confirmed grip. “truly.”
~
the morning birds chirping as the sun rises up has ended up being luca’s alarm clock these days. it doesn’t bother him though, as he prefers to wake up early anyways to start his day off in peace.
he has a usual morning routine as most people: get out of bed, fold the sheets, head to the bathroom to brush his teeth and other freshening up that needs to be done, hop into a new pair of clothes, and then walk down the stairs into the kitchen, to create a nutritious breakfast worth taking his sweet endearing time to eat. it’s what he’s been doing for years, and he can admit that he’s grown such a comfort to this repeated cycle.
this morning however, has a few extra steps added into it. because today is a special day.
luca plops some tea bags into two teacups filled with hot water followed by spreading strawberry jam over some toasted slices of bread, one for each plate. he carefully holds the knife and cut the pieces of toast into a heart shape, hyper fixating on every curve to make it as perfect as possible.
he strolls into the backyard, where he had already placed a picnic blanket and basket beforehand and sets up the lovely picnic neat and organized. one teacup, one plate with strawberry toast, and a set of cutlery on his side of the blanket, and the exact same set on the opposite of him.
“shu! are you here? i have a surprise for you!” he shouts out.
“woah.” shu walks into luca’s special date, sitting across from him with such awe. “what is all of this?”
luca reaches inside the picnic basket and holds out a huge bouquet of flowers. “happy valentine’s day, shu.” he laughs, but it somewhat croaks. “you know, every year i try to do something different. so today… a comfy little picnic for two.”
“aw…” he picks up his slice of toast and takes a bite out of it. “luca, this is so sweet. you outdid yourself once again. i love this.”
“i’m glad.” he holds out his hand. “you know i would never forget to do this. just for you.”
shu places his hand delicately into his. “i love you.”
“i love you too.”
there’s a part of luca that wants to lean into a kiss, ending their perfect date with a little bliss, but he knows if he went ahead and attempted that he would look a bit too coo coo. his lips ache to be warmed up again by another pair, but that time has passed, and carries on as a precious memory.
luca stands up with the bouquet of flowers that were never gifted in the hands of a human being and stepping over the plate with the untouched strawberry toast. he gently presses his fingertips against the coarse tree bark, smiling bittersweetly at the tall trunk.
“wanna know how long it’s been since we’ve celebrated our first valentine’s day together? 90 whole years. still going strong!” his heart grows. “you know this holiday means so much to me, it’s the reason both of us came together. it’s pretty cliche, but my little 100 year old heart finds any nice love story the best kind of story.” he places the flower at the edge of the roots. “there. you know i always gotta decorate you with a flower. it’s how i fell in love with you back then, you always looked so beautiful with them in your hair.” he pats the tree one last time. “i hope you enjoyed our time together, but these shaky legs gotta get themself back to bed.”
luca treads back into their cottage vintage house. “i’ll see you next year ok? next valentine's day, i’ll outdo myself even bigger!” he grins with a hopeful spark. “that’s a promise!”