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Shen Yuan already regretted coming to school today. He should have ditched classes altogether, pretend he was sick or dead, or dead from getting sick, or something! Instead, he was gradually getting sick with all the chaos around him.
Girls chattered in excitement, while guys either murmured in anticipation or straight up looked like hungry wolves. It was irritating, and all for some silly chocolate. A tradition that solely existed for the benefit of commercial manufacturers. There was nothing romantic about it! If people wanted to confess to their loved ones so badly, why wait for one single day following the masses like mindless sheep?
Not that Shen Yuan was an expert in romantic endeavours, but that was just common sense. Of course, he didn’t hate chocolate in itself, but today he might as well, just on principle. Not like anyone here would ever bring chocolate for him. Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t envious or anything, what would he even do with the mountains of chocolates like some popular guys in his class received. Well, he’d gladly eat everything, but this was not a point.
Receiving chocolate would be so embarrassing, wouldn’t it? The mere implication of it! He eventually would have to think of a way to reject some poor girl? No, no. Shen Yuan’s heart wasn’t ready to go through that kind of turmoil. Well, maybe just maybe, he wouldn’t have minded knowing that there was someone out there who liked him, even a tiny bit. Even in an equivalent of a sad looking store bought confectionery. He’d be fine even with obligatory chocolate. Just to have a taste of sweetness, of dazzling youth.
Alas, it was his last year at school and last chance to go through that experience before graduating. Shen Yuan sighed looking out the window. The day was coming to an end and nothing happened this year again, as usual. He wasn’t really expecting anything, so he couldn’t possibly be disappointed.
After classes ended he had nothing else to do apart from simply going home, probably alone this time around. He was kind of getting used to the company of Luo Binghe lately. But most likely not happening today, that boy will have no shortage of girls to choose from to go home with. Speak of the devil, here he was. A sizeable line of girls queued for their turn to present him with chocolate just outside the school building. Ah, at least someone was living their sweetest moments of youth. Shen Yuan rounded the corner trying not to pay much attention to the commotion, but as he was approaching the gates he heard a joyful voice.
“Shizun!”
Huh, he didn’t manage to go unnoticed. And who’s Shizun? Shen Yuan was only one year older, call him gege or shixiong! But no, no matter how much Shen Yuan objected, the nickname stuck from the very first day they met.
That day Binghe was quietly crying in the library because of the maths problems of all things! It was only natural that Shen Yuan helped him out with the homework. He was lucky he even remembered the material himself, Shen Yuan was just an average student, barely in the middle of their class ranks. Which was fine with him, he was never competitive and as long as he wasn’t failing anything and his parents were satisfied, it was enough. But after that encounter with Binghe, who imminently took to calling him Shizun, Shen Yuan couldn’t possibly allow to lose face.
Whenever Luo Binghe turned his tearful and hopeful gaze at him, he couldn’t refuse helping out. It wasn’t much, really. There was no way he’d allow for the boy to secretly cry in the dark library corner again! Granted, Binghe was at the top of his class. With how brilliant he actually was, it was surprising how he even struggled so much, but it only proved that no one could be perfect at all times and sometimes what one needed was just a little push. Binghe always quickly caught up on the concepts that took Shen Yuan a severe revising of his own, but it was worth it. The teachers even praised him for levelling up to the top ten in their class, so really, if anything, it was Shen Yuan who should be grateful to Binghe for motivating him to finally take his studies seriously.
At first, they only met at the library from time to time, Luo Binghe coming to him with all different subjects he struggled with. Later they started talking about other things, which was unexpectedly easy. Binghe was one of the popular kids at school while Shen Yuan basically cosplayed a wall, a typical side-character. Honestly, Shen Yuan was expecting Binghe to eventually forget about his existence as well, but no such thing happened. On the contrary, Binghe started finding him over lunch too, sharing with him something of his own, and eventually bringing a separate portion for him. He insisted it was to express gratitude for all the help, so Shen Yuan had no choice but to comply.
And the food was amazing! Even more incredible once he learned Binghe cooked it himself. Brilliant people were brilliant at everything, it seemed. After the first bite Shen Yuan could cry, he never tried anything so delicious in his life. His parents were very busy people and rarely at home, and his younger sister left for a boarding art school. So he had to fetch for himself, and he was totally fine with cup noodles, there was nothing wrong with cup noodles! But clearly, Binghe was of a different opinion, and it took just one bite of Binghe’s food for Shen Yuan to be converted.
At some point of their acquaintance they figured out they lived in a close area to each other, so naturally they started going home together every day. Today was Valentine’s Day though, so Shen Yuan didn’t expect they’d meet for lunch, or at all, surely the one so popular as Binghe wouldn’t have time for him. But here he was, leaving all the admirers and running towards Shen Yuan, his long ponytail waving from side to side with each movement.
“Shizun!” He called again, once he got closer, his face suddenly solemn. “I was waiting for you. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you for lunch today. Are you hungry?”
“That’s okay, Binghe, I bought some bread. Don’t worry about me, shouldn’t you go back to the girls?”
What was Binghe even thinking! There was his sweetness of youth right there, but he was stuck worrying about Shen Yuan instead. Come on, the girls were waiting, don’t miss this opportunity, someone had to live his life to the fullest! But Binghe’s face got only darker.
“No. Actually, I’m thanking Shizun again. I didn’t know how to get away. Now I can just go home with you!”
Oh well, if Binghe didn’t like any of the girls, it was understandable. Who was Shen Yuan to judge? He shook his head. True, none of these girls deserved Luo Binghe’s attention.
“Fine, we should go then.” Shen Yuan agreed, and immediately Binghe brightened sending him the widest smile. How wasteful, if Shen Yuan was a girl, he’d surely just die on the spot from the amount of pure bewitching energy aimed at him.
But as soon as they started walking Binghe’s smile dimmed a bit.
“Shizun, let me make up for lunch! There’s this place I wanted to check anyway, so we can just go now.” He looked at Shen Yuan with huge pleading eyes. That sweet child, feeling sorry for just one missed lunch, after constantly feeding Shen Yuan for almost a year now. It had been worse, really.
“Ah, Binghe, you don’t have to. I can just eat at home.”
“Please? I’d feel very awkward going there on my own.” Binghe’s eyes gained some suspicious wetness to them, and Shen Yuan wasn’t having it! He won’t be the one to make him cry.
“Alright, alright.” Shen Yuan brought his hand up to pat Binghe’s fluffy hair, there was really no need to cry. Maybe he was a bit hungry after all, and now he was curious what place caught Binghe’s eye, considering he was such a great cook himself.
The Northern Dessert restaurant was in a walking distance and didn’t look particularly special at first glance.
“My friend recently opened this place, so I wanted to see how he fares.” Binghe explained.
It made sense, of course Binghe would have other cool friends that open restaurants and what not. Shen Yuan also had other friends apart from Luo Binghe, surely, if you could call his virtual buddies as such. See, he wasn’t some loner loser who had no friends at school. He was mostly alone because he chose so himself, never really clicking with anyone in the right way. And god forbid unleashing his inner nerd onto normal people. The Internet pals were enough, and Luo Binghe was an odd exception.
Despite the name the restaurant didn’t serve exclusively desserts, there was a main course as well, but only consisted of noodles. The interior itself was a bit gloomy and cold, not something Shen Yuan would consider particularly inviting. There weren’t many other people around, so all in all the atmosphere was agreeable.
And the food was okay, not as good as Binghe’s, but certainly better than cup noodles. Shen Yuan wasn’t a picky eater, but he could at least tell as much. Still, no restaurant could compare to the skill of Luo Binghe, that was his honest opinion, and he made sure to express it to Binghe. He couldn’t stress enough how brilliant this boy was, who always unnecessarily dismissed his talents. Even now Binghe just smiled shyly and said he still had so much to learn. What a pure white lotus!
The noodles filled him up, but the desserts got him curious too, he craved something sweet all day. The monstrosity of an icy parfait he ordered finally managed to cheer him up. Shen Yuan almost forgot what even aggravated him earlier.
Luo Binghe insisted on paying, which Shen Yuan wasn’t going to allow him to do. So while Binghe rummaged through his bag for a wallet Shen Yuan quickly reached for his card, and it was done.
“Oh no, Shizun!” Binghe whined.
“Don’t be silly. If Binghe insists on calling me Shizun, then it’s only fair for this Shizun to treat his favourite disciple.”
“But I wanted to…” his bottom lip wobbled as if he was about to cry, but before Shen Yuan could panic, Binghe suddenly brightened and his eyes were full of wonder. “Am I your favourite disciple?”
Honestly, who hit this child in the past? The amount of unrestrained need for approval was too much.
“Who else would that be?” Shen Yuan averted his gaze, wishing he had a book with him on hand, so he could hide behind it, suddenly feeling self-conscious with the way Binghe looked at him. He didn’t feel like he deserved all this reverence.
He wasn’t even helping Binghe with his studies this much lately, their time together seamlessly merged to idle conversations about anything and everything. With how often Shen Yuan ended up complaining about minor things, Binghe should have been fed up with him long ago. But surprisingly he was a very good listener, so it was Shen Yuan who should be grateful to Binghe still keeping him company, not the other way around. The literal god was looking at Shen Yuan like he was the one god sent, ridiculous!
“This humble one is thanking Shizun!” Shen Yuan rolled his eyes at the wording. Who even taught him to talk like this? That’s right, it was all Shen Yuan’s fault.
Introducing Binghe to xianxia novels was definitely a mistake. But Binghe begged him to share the novels after Shen Yuan went on a particularly long tirade, which was embarrassing, and Shen Yuan regretted his choices. But still, Binghe wanted to understand him better, or so he said, so he gave in and suggested Binghe some of the better examples. It didn’t save Binghe from falling down into that rabbit hole though, or more like the endless abyss that readily consumed his pure soul with the worst of fiction.
Nothing Shen Yuan could do about this now. At the very least he could share his grievances more freely now and almost, almost, not feel ashamed about it. Although he suspected that Binghe secretly and unironically enjoyed all those stories. Binghe himself looked like he stepped out straight off the pages, typical protagonist! Powerful but innocent deep inside, unimaginably attractive, destined for a harem of beauties, talented in anything he does, almost effortlessly standing at the top. Almost, because Shen Yuan himself had seen with his own eyes how much Binghe puts into everything he does. But this quality only made him even more admirable.
Compared to him, Shen Yuan was a basic side character, if not just cannon fodder. But reality wasn’t fiction, and somehow they ended up becoming friends. If someone told him before that he would befriend the most popular guy in school, Shen Yuan would never have believed them. He still found this fairly unbelievable at times. But here they were. Shen Yuan looked at Binghe still radiating happy energy like a sunny puppy, and couldn’t help but awkwardly smile in return.
“Oh no!” Binghe exclaimed again once they left the Northern Dessert. He suddenly looked panicked.
“What is it, Binghe?” Shen Yuan asked, concerned.
“I completely forgot! Look,” he took out two tickets from his wallet, “I had these tickets for a while, and now they’ll just go to waste.”
“Let me see.” Shen Yuan reached out for a better look. These were cinema tickets for a film that was to start in half an hour. “Hm. The cinema is in the Holy Mausoleum, it’s not that far. If we go now we can still make it.”
“Really? Will Shizun go with me?”
“Well, of course! You wouldn’t want the tickets to go to waste.” A sudden thought made him stop, and he added unsure. “Unless, Binghe wanted to invite someone else.” After all, there were many options to choose from.
“No, no! There’s no one else I’d rather go with today.” Binghe still looked panicked, fidgeting with his shoulder bag, as if fearing Shen Yuan would refuse to go. How could he? There was no time for dawdling anyway.
“We should go then.” Shen Yuan reasoned and started walking in the direction of the cinema. Luo Binghe quickly followed in his step, almost tripping in his eagerness.
“Careful.” Shen Yuan caught him just in time.
“I’m sorry, this one is so clumsy.” Binghe looked up blushing furiously, holding onto Shen Yuan a tad bit longer than necessary.
“Just watch your step from now on. We still must hurry.”
“Yes, Shizun!” Binghe let go, and they soon fell into a steady pace, not quite running but enough to reach the cinema in time. All through the walk Shen Yuan could feel the lingering burn in the spots where Binghe touched him.
“Why do you have the tickets anyway?” Shen Yuan asked, curious. If Binghe planned to go with someone, he could have prepared for a better company.
“My father sent them to me.” Binghe admitted sheepishly. Shen Yuan nodded in understanding.
It was a recent discovery that Binghe even had a father. Tianlang Jun was the one to reach out, after Luo Binghe was featured in a local newspaper for his achievements at the Qing Jing high school sports festival. Needless to say, Binghe was excellent at sports too. But what caught his father’s attention was that the boy looked like a splitting image of his mother, the real one, and so Tianlang Jun insisted on confirming the relation.
The story of Binghe’s parents was all too sad. Forcefully separated, his father dealing with fabricated accusations against him for the longest time, never the wiser he even had a son, his mother presumably dead.
It was a rather emotional period in Binghe’s life, he never expected to learn the truth about his origin, content to live with his adoptive mother. He still stayed with her, while Tianlang Jun supported them financially. This was all new to them both, and they weren’t communicating properly, but it was a start, and nothing stopped Tianlang Jun from spoiling his son occasionally with gifts or tickets, apparently. Shen Yuan couldn’t blame him, if he was in that position he would spoil Binghe rotten, how could anyone resist!
Holy Mausoleum, while an unlikely name, was actually an amusement park, owned by Tianlang Jun himself, so it was no wonder that he’d give his son the tickets, probably expecting him to have a lovely evening with some girl. Too bad, it seemed Binghe had no romantic interest yet, so it was just Shen Yuan this time around.
They arrived at the cinema just in time, even managing to buy some popcorn on the way. The film Regret of Chunshan was a live action adaptation of the popular web novel. It depicted the struggles of two cultivators and followed their adventures, showcasing how strong their friendship was. The plot was so edited that Shen Yuan himself could be fooled had he not read the original. Obviously, they had to censor all the papapa between the two male leads and bring more focus to the action scenes, which made the final product more fleshed out, earning Shen Yuan’s reluctant approval.
Around the middle of the film, there was a particularly scary scene, poor Binghe jumped in his seat clutching at Shen Yuan’s hand. The rest of the film wasn’t as scary, but Binghe never let go. Shen Yuan could only relax into the touch, interviewing their fingers, hoping it was enough to comfort Binghe.
The credits rolled and they had to separate. It was actually quite nice to hold Binghe’s hand. While Shen Yuan wasn’t scared of anything, rather appreciating the gruesome monster designs, well, it made him feel warm and complete. What a weird thought to have. It was supposed to be for Binghe’s comfort, not his own.
“I actually never been here before.” Luo Binghe said once they exited the cinema. It was already getting dark, the amusement park now shone with all the lights, full of excited noises and happy people around. The light reflected in Binghe’s eyes, who looked eager at Shen Yuan.
“Shizun, let’s try that one!” He pointed at the observation wheel. Admittedly Shen Yuan has never been here before as well. It wouldn’t hurt to try some new things once in a while. They agreed to split the costs this time and soon were waiting for their turn in a queue. Luo Binghe kept glancing at Shen Yuan with a small smile on his face, such an excited child. There was some disturbance before them and Binghe quickly grabbed his hand.
“I wouldn’t want us to get separated.” Shen Yuan couldn’t find it in his heart to protest. After all, he liked holding hands with Binghe, and it was only practical, he wouldn’t want to separate either.
Once inside the cabin Binghe still didn’t let go of his hand, and Shen Yuan let it be. Just in case Binghe was scared of heights, he reasoned.
The view of their small town from above was interesting. Shen Yuan never really bothered to look at it from a different perspective, his vision usually limited to school or home, it never really mattered to him, where he was as long as he had access to the internet. But this… this view was beautiful. Shen Yuan glanced at Luo Binghe who was looking out the window with genuine wonder. Beautiful indeed.
Walking home was accompanied by pleasant silence, bright stars and a huge moon. Shen Yuan wasn’t all that impatient to go back home to his usual routine, consisting of scrolling through the internet and web novels. In fact, spending more time with Binghe was really enjoyable, they probably should do it more often.
All too soon they got to their spot where they would diverge for separate ways. Shen Yuan stopped, not sure what to say. Luo Binghe wasn’t meeting his eyes, suddenly looking very nervous. Shen Yuan’s heart sank, he hoped he didn’t unintentionally do something wrong. He was just about to ask, when Binghe finally met his eyes, determined.
“Shizun, I…” He fished a small box from his bag, offering it to Shen Yuan. “This is for you.”
Shen Yuan automatically took the box, but his hands were suddenly shaking. What was it? The box was wrapped in smooth pink paper with vibrant red ribbon on top.
“This is… That is…” Binghe’s eyes started to wander again, and Shen Yuan was speechless. Luo Binghe slapped himself on the cheeks with both hands forcing to look at Shen Yuan again. His eyelashes fluttered and despite dim street lights Shen Yuan still managed to notice a small blush forming on his face. “This chocolate is for you, A-Yuan.”
Shen Yuan’s eyes widened, he wasn’t expecting any chocolate today nor was he used to be called so affectionately, let alone by Binghe.
“I made them myself, I hope they’ll convey my feelings for you. But just in case, they are not friendship chocolates, they are made specially for you, because I like you, A-Yuan.” The last part he said with tightly closed eyes as if afraid to see the reaction. Not hearing any reply he peeked, opening one eye, only to see severely shocked Shen Yuan.
“You don’t have to answer now!” He rushed to add. “I hope you like them, see you tomorrow, Shizun!” And with that, he bolted as if running from a pack of wolves. Shen Yuan stood there watching but not actually seeing a rapidly retreating back of Luo Binghe.
Luo Binghe, who just confessed to him. Who presented him chocolates. Who made the chocolates himself. God, they must be heavenly. This thought alone brought Shen Yuan to his senses and he rushed to go home as well.
He was greeted by darkness and silence, like always. Good, it was good. He needed silence to think, he needed darkness to relate to.
Once in his room, Shen Yuan placed the pink box on the table and stared at it. Was it possible to jump out the window to avoid thinking about it? Or maybe die for like five years and come back to it later? Or just die?
Whatever it was, Shen Yuan wasn’t prepared at all! And this just happened. Luo Binghe made chocolate for him on Valentine’s Day. And they… Shen Yuan groaned, falling limply on the bed. They went on a date, didn’t they? That’s what they were doing the whole evening. Sharing a meal, watching a film, riding the observation wheel… and they even held hands!
Shen Yuan groaned again, hiding his face into the pillow. He could feel how hot his face was from the sheer embarrassment. Did Luo Binghe know they were on a date? Of course, he knew, he must have planned it all from the very beginning. He was so adorable today, and the entire thing was so typically romantic. With how many cliché stories he read Shen Yuan lamented he didn’t see it earlier. But everything just felt so natural, not for a moment he suspected that something was wrong.
And was there anything wrong with that, them going on a date?
Shen Yuan sat up, his gaze zeroing in on the small box. It looked so charming. He could picture Binghe carefully wrapping it up, attentive to all the creases, to make it look so perfect and enticing. Shen Yuan held it gently, hesitant to ruin the perfection, but he knew that yet another perfection awaited him inside, and he was dying to try. He tugged the ribbon and it easily fell off. Managing not to ruin the paper, Shen Yuan opened the box and looked inside.
There he saw six perfectly shaped chocolate hearts, each decorated with varying patterns of white and pink chocolate. He couldn’t imagine the amount of work that went into them, they all looked so delicate. Something pretty like that could only be made with love. Shen Yuan blushed at his own thoughts.
He almost didn’t want to ruin this work of art, but it was irresistible. Putting one of the little hearts into his mouth Shen Yuan closed his eyes and barely contained a satisfied moan. Forget dying, he might as well go straight to heaven. The sweetness melted on his tongue. He felt like ascending then and there.
To think that this was what Binghe created while thinking about him. Shen Yuan took another chocolate, he needed to make sure he got it right. It was absolutely delightful. Whatever feelings Binghe hoped to convey, Shen Yuan understood now. If not, then the small card that revealed itself underneath the chocolates left no room for doubt.
To my beloved Shen Yuan, it said.
Shen Yuan felt hot all over again. It was impossible. Impossible. Luo Binghe was so gorgeous, so amazingly talented and ultimately the most beautiful person in the world. He could have anyone. Anyone would drop themselves at him with Binghe barely lifting a finger. And yet, he went to so much trouble, put in so much work and for whom? Shen Yuan, who was just…
Who has been so much happier ever since he met Binghe. How couldn’t he see it earlier? Shen Yuan took off his glasses rubbing at his eyes. Sometimes he could just be so blind.
Binghe said he didn’t have to answer right away… but he still deserved an answer. Shen Yuan was suddenly very tired and decided it would be better to sleep on it. Maybe the morning will make things clearer.
In the morning things didn’t become clearer. The empty box and the card with sweet words evoked a sudden panic. What if he got everything wrong? Maybe he could just think about it some more and avoid Binghe in the meantime.
But avoiding Binghe was never an option. Shen Yuan wasn’t surprised to see him already waiting at their parting spot. With wooden legs Shen Yuan approached, reminding himself that he didn’t have to give the answer right away. But one look at those hopeful eyes shattered all his resolve. Luo Binghe radiated adoration and love, something Shen Yuan finally could put a name to. And it made his heart beat up faster.
“I…” he coughed, looking away, embarrassed. He just knew he was furiously blushing now. “I loved the chocolates, they were very delicious.” He settled for the easier truth.
“Were they?” Binghe sounded so happy and relieved.
“Of course!” Shen Yuan turned to look at him seriously, wishing to ascertain this fact once and for all. “How could anything Binghe makes not be delicious? And these chocolates? What were they, if not a piece of art! They were especially delicious, and I felt like…” he cut himself off, not sure how to proceed. He was too embarrassed to admit his feelings aloud.
“What did Shizun feel?” Binghe’s eyes became even bigger, he held his breath awaiting the answer.
“I felt… I felt… like an idiot!” Shen Yuan finally found his words. Binghe blinked, confused, and he continued, “Yesterday, it was a date all along, right?”
Luo Binghe hesitated for a moment and then slowly nodded, confirming.
Shen Yuan huffed. “Well, I certainly had no idea about that!”
“I’m sorry, I…” Binghe started, tears ready at the corners of his eyes. Shen Yuan raised his hand, stopping him.
“Don’t apologise, just…” he made sure his tone wasn’t stern anymore, softening his voice. “Just let me experience it with full knowledge that it’s a date.”
“Are you… are you asking me on another date?”
“As far as I’m concerned that would be our first date.”
“Shizun!” Binghe threw himself at him, hugging tightly. What was Shen Yuan going to do with him? Pat his fluffy hair, what else. But soon his hand awkwardly slipped, and he was hugging Binghe back. They stayed like that for a while, until Binghe untangled himself looking at Shen Yuan with a sly grin.
“Does it mean we are dating now, A-Yuan?”
Shen Yuan blushed at the name and at the implication. “I’m not sure, I… don’t really know how this works.” He had no experience whatsoever.
“We are!” Binghe hurried to confirm. But his eyes weren’t as sure as his words. Shen Yuan smiled, endeared. Binghe was just too cute.
“We are,” he reassured. After all, it wasn’t a difficult decision to make.