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Chapter Text

He didn’t know what to do anymore. No one believed that he wasn’t straight. Yes he was bisexual and proud of it, but the only person who seemed to believe him was Robin. It got to the point the two of them were having fun with it, seeing how much he could say and no one would realize. It was like the ‘you suck’ board all over again.

When the game first happened, they were all sitting in the Wheeler’s basement. The party playing DnD and the others sitting on the couches talking about anything. Robin is draped over his lap, practically a cat with how content she is having her hair played with and laying in a weird position. 

“All I’m saying is, love is love. Who cares where you put your tongue?” Argyle says, laying on the floor.

“I agree,” Jonathan nods. The two of them are high as hell, but they are managing to have a meaningful conversation. “Plus, everyone is a little gay.”

“That’s where I’m going to have to disagree,” Nancy cuts in. “While there is nothing wrong with liking the same gender, but everyone is not a little gay. Look at Steve.”

Steve blinked, feeling Robin tense a bit under his hand. “I’m so straight, I’m spaghetti.”

He could feel his best friend trying to hold in her laugh at his deadpan reaction. He hears the DnD game go quiet for a second, Dustin turning to face them.

“Steve, no. Spaghetti is a horrible example.” The little nerd sighs.

“Oh? Why?” He’s honestly having fun right now, Robin practically wheezing in his lap. 

“Spaghetti is not straight when cooked.” Lucas scoffs. 

“Oh wow, good to know.” Steve says sarcastically, but none of them clue in, just laughing at ‘oblivious’ Steve. He grins down at Robin, who is cackling now that everyone is laughing. 

When they have left and dropped off Dustin and Lucas, Robin starts giggling again. “How the hell are they the smartest people ever and still so dumb?”

“Honestly, it’s hilarious at this point. Like, I am not subtle at all and they just think I’m being dumb.” Steve chuckles. “It’s like a game, ‘how many times can I say I like men before they realize!’”

“Wait,” Robin sits up, giving him a mischievous look. “We could totally play that game.”

Steve thinks it over before giving a shrug. “Fuck it, let’s do it.”

“Okay, we'll need to keep track. So, a ‘they suck, they rule’ board. But I feel like every time they don’t clue in we need a punishment.” Robin bounces in her seat, looking excited. 

“They’ll notice way too quickly if we have a board, but we can keep it in the car. That way when it happens, it’s close by.” Steve nods. “As for punishment, every time I say something and they don’t clue in-”

“Oh! You have to eat a warhead!” She cackles. 

“God you’re an ass, I hate those.” He grumbles. 

“That’s the point dingus.” She grins. “Don’t worry, I’ll do it with you. Let the games begin.”

The next time it happens, they’re all chilling in Steve’s backyard, enjoying the summer weather. It’s times like these he’s happy he somehow convinced his dad to do a rent to own. He loves this house now that he can use it to house all his friends and found family. It also helps his parents want nothing to do with Hawkins and are giving it to him for a steal. 

“All I’m saying is they have so much money and they waste it on stupid things.” Nancy is off on a tangent on how rich people spend their money. Which is hilarious because she’s benefitting from it right now. 

“People can use their money how they want,” Robin argues. “I get it that they can totally use it to help others out, but at the same time, they earned it as well and should use it how they want.”

“I am starting to feel attacked,” Steve sighs, reaching into the cooler and grabbing a beer. He’s debating on joining the kids in the pool just to get away from it when Eddie bounces up, soaked.

“And what are we talking about over here?” Eddie grins, leaning on Steve as he grabs a beer as well. 

“How rich people suck,” Jonathan says from the chair he’s lounging on. 

“Fuck rich people!” Eddie yells, grinning madly. Steve see’s Robin take a drink and smirks. 

“Please do,” Steve responds and Robin chokes on her drink. 

“What?” Eddie and Nancy look at him weirdly. 

“I believe he said please do,” Robin wheezes. He reaches over and pats her on the back, chuckling. 

“Well damn, pretty boy. You offering?” Eddie wiggled his eyebrows. Steve, who honestly wants to see how far it will go, just smirks. 

“As long as you call me princess, sure.” Steve shares a look with Robin when Eddie just laughs and smacks him on the back, clearly thinking it’s a joke. 

“Alright, Steve, stop being a shit. I’m sorry if we offended you.” Nancy cuts in, sounding exasperated. 

“Yeah, no shitting on the rich when all of you are literally reaping the benefits.” He points at them, giving them a playful scowl. 

He groans when Robin grabs his hand, putting a stupid little candy in it. He gives her a disgusted little look before shoving it in his mouth. It instantly scrunches up, glaring at the laughing girl when she pops her own in her mouth. 

The rest of the older group look at them weirdly as Steve whines and pouts, flipping his best friend off as she walks in the house. When the sour flavour finally goes away, he manages to take another drink of his beer, scowling when it tastes like shit now. He hears a tap at the window behind him and looks over, watching as a smirking Robin puts a tally under the ‘they suck’ column. 

For some reason, they had thought a picnic would be a good idea. At lovers lake. Steve and Will had refused to go near the water, but it was nice because they had sat back at a table, Will drawing and Steve reading. People kept coming back every so often to join them. 

It was getting close to lunch time when Steve stood up and started putting all their food together. Robin, Eddie, Argyle, and Mike are the first to come back. Mike accidentally bumps the table, causing Will to mess up a line. 

“Damn, that was supposed straight.” Will mutters, starting to fix the drawing. 

“So was I,” Steve hums. He doesn’t even bother looking up, waiting for Robin's reaction. He starts passing out sandwiches when he quietly gets handed a warhead. He looks up and just sees people shaking their heads and Will looking at him in confusion. He smiles, popping the warhead in his mouth and powers through the sourness as he finishes making the sandwiches. 

“Is lunch ready?” Dustin runs up, the rest of the group following along. 

“Almost, just making a couple more sandwiches.” Steve mutters around the candy. He’s making Dustin’s, joking around with the whining kid. 

“Don’t forget bacon!” Dustin bounces in his seat. 

“How could I ever forget the B in LGTBQ?” He asks, this time staring at the teen as he pauses and looks at Steve like he’s dumb. 

“Steve, no. It’s BLT.” Dustin reaches out and pats Steve’s arm. He doesn’t even wait, just thrusts his hand at Robin and she cackles as she drops another candy in his hand. 

“I didn’t even finish the first one,” Steve whines, passing Dustin his sandwich before starting his own. 

“That’s on you, dingus.” They cheers their candies before popping them in. Once the sourness has gone down and he has his food, he sits back down in his original seat. Eddie is looking at him weirdly from his seat across from him, but Steve just grins and takes a bite of his food. 

At this point, he’s worried about his friends. He has not been subtle, taking to flirting with Eddie very blatantly as well, but it isn’t taken seriously. Even if he is serious and Robin pats his back as he whines about how pretty, but dumb Eddie is. 

“How has the game changed so much that we are just trying to see if Eddie catches on,” Robin groans. She is draped over the counter as Steve reshelves some movie cases. 

“Because it started as a joke and somehow turned into how sad my life is that my crush doesn’t notice me.” Steve chuckled. “He’s lucky he’s so pretty.” 

“Do you think anyone has caught on?” Robin reaches under the counter and pulls out a bag of skittles.

“I think Will suspects something, but he’s also having his own sexuality crisis so he gets sidetracked as soon as Mike walks in the room.” Steve hums thinking over everyone in the group. “Argyle might know, but I feel like he’s also realized you and I are making a game out of it and is letting it play out.”

“What a wise man, we shall forever hail him as our god.” Robin nods, grinning. 

“Dude, next game?” Steve grins. “See how long it takes for them to realize we now worship Argyle?” 

“I feel like they would realize that way quicker,” Robin laughs. The door opens, their gaggle of teens walking in with Eddie in tow. 

“No, we need a horror movie!” Mike argues with Lucas, Will trailing behind them and staring at Mike. 

“No, fantasy. It will be better for a campaign than just horror.” Lucas scoffs. They continue to bicker, Dustin rolling his eyes at Steve before following along. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” Eddie beelines it to him, an easy smile on his face. “How’s the prettiest boy in town?”

“I don’t know, how are you Eddie?” Steve glances at Eddie, watching his face heat up a bit. He grins, finishing up shelving the stack in his hand before turning to face the older man. 

“Right, um, I’m good?” Eddie shakes it off, giving Steve a grin again. Which is not fair at all. How the hell can he still look all cute and still not understand?

“I’m glad,” Steve smiles, making eye contact with Robin. She is shaking her head, mouthing ‘idiots.’

“Yeah, anyways. Just brought the gremlins in to pick out their movie. Apparently they’re all crashing at Wheeler’s tonight.” The metalhead shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Oh, right! Dingus! We’re invited over to Nancy’s tonight.” Robin calls out. 

“Well apparently we’re all crashing at Wheeler’s tonight,” Steve looks back at Eddie who starts to shift uncomfortably. 

“Oh, I wasn’t really invited. Was just going to drop the munchkins off then head home.” Eddie chuckles, shaking it off and looking like his normal self. Steve narrows his eyes, looking Eddie over.

“Robin, you were invited but I wasn’t told right?” Steve kept his eyes on the confused man. 

“Correct! But everyone knows you have to explicitly tell the two of us when the other isn’t invited!” She chirped, giving a shit eating grin. “And I was never told not to bring Steve.”

“Which means I was never told to not bring Eddie,” Steve adds on, the platonic soulmates sharing a smug grin. “There, problem solved. Can you grab sour cream and onion chips though? Taking robin into the store always takes forever.”

“I want what I want!” She yells before looking at the four boys now at the counter. “Ugh, pick a better movie.”

“You’ll just giggle with Steve the entire time anyways,” Dustin scoffs. 

“That’s because we have class,” She says primly. 

“And you have trash taste.” Steve adds on. The kids start shouting at them, making the two workers laugh, Robin ringing them up. 

“Steve will pay, bye!” Dustin grabs the VHS before running out, the others trailing behind. 

“Fuckin kids,” Steve sighs. “Chips, don’t forget.” Steve walks over to the register, paying for Dustin’s rental. 

“Oh, and skittles!” Robin adds on. Neither of them really notice the gobsmacked look that the metalhead is giving them, too busy when Robin pulls out a warhead and tosses it at Steve.

“Right, see you later then good sir and my lady!” Eddie gives them a bow and a beaming smile, making Steve pause and watch him as he leaves, heart fluttering. 

“Let it out,” Robin sighs when the door closes. 

“I want to have that man’s babies.” Steve blurts out, causing Robin to cackle. He holds out his candy to her. “Bottoms up.”

When they get to the Wheeler’s that night, both of them are mentally done. A whole bunch of families had come in and terrorized them for the rest of their shift. All releasing their children and not watching as they tore everything off the shelves, letting them ruin displays, and even yelling at them for running out of movies. 

Steve walks in, smiles politely at Mrs. Wheeler, and goes down to the basement. Not looking at anyone else, Steve walks right up to Eddie and drapes himself over the other man's back. 

“Hey, buttercup, what’s wrong?” Eddie pats his arm. 

“God Steve, screw off. You're interrupting the campaign.” Mike whines. 

“You, shut up. I need a hug because the rest of my shift was garbage.” Steve glares at Mike before hiding in Eddie’s neck. 

“So garbage!” Robin whines from the spot on the floor she flopped on. “I hate children.”

“Children suck.” Steve whined, shifting to look over Eddie’s shoulder at the DnD campaign. He started reading it over quickly as Robin ranted about what the kids did. He snickered, realizing that the path the kids were going down depended on Mike not being stupid. 

“If I request him to be set on fire, how quickly could you make it happen?” Steve muttered into Eddie’s ear. 

“I’ll base a whole campaign around it,” Eddie grinned, turning to kiss Steve’s cheek. “Just for you, pretty boy.” 

“You know how to make a guy feel special,” Steve grinned, face flushed. “Now, I am going to go lay on the ground and wallow with Robin. Make their lives hell.”

“Will do,” Eddie chuckled as Steve moved off him and practically threw himself onto the ground beside Robin. He grunted when she rolled over onto him, not stopping her rant on devil children.

“I need entertainment,” Robin whined. “Someone entertain me!” 

“Kiss, Marry, Kill,” Max didn’t even look up from her magazine. “Nancy, Jonathan, Steve.”

“Oh god, that’s embarrassingly easy and difficult at the same time.” Robin laughed. “Kill Jonathan, Kiss Nancy, Marry Steve.”

“Nice,” Steve held up his hand and they high-fived. “Except for killing Jonathan.”

“Thanks?” Said guy looked adorably confused.

“Jonathan, your turn. Argyle, Steve, and myself.” Robin cackled. 

“Oh, um. I don’t know-” He started but Max’ laugh cut him off. 

“We all know you’ll kill Steve, so just answer the other part.” She smirked at Steve, causing him to push Robin off him and go smother the girl in a hug, getting a loud laugh from her. 

“Kiss Robin and Marry Argyle,” Jonathan sent Steve an apologetic look. He doesn’t get why, it’s all very obvious choices.

“Okay, Nancy.” Robin sat up, looking completely invested that Steve got a little worried. “Myself, Argyle, Eddie.” 

“Marry Robin, Kiss Argyle, Kill Eddie.” Nancy didn’t even bat an eye. Steve glanced at Robin, who looked so damn pleased. “Max. Will, El, Mike.” 

“Oh, easy.” The redhead smirked, looking right at Mike. “Marry El, Kiss Will, Kill Mike.” 

“Dump his ass!” Steve cheered, Max and El chiming in. All three of them started laughing at the exasperated looks. Steve reached around Max and ruffled El’s hair, getting a small grin. 

“El,” Robin grinned. “Max, Dustin, Mike.”

The poor girl looked so stressed about having to answer that Steve just grabbed her hand and gave her a smile. “There are no hard feelings here, it’s purely for fun. If you don’t feel like answering you don't have to.” 

“Kiss Dustin, Marry Max, Kill Mike?” She answers hesitantly. It gets so many laughs at Mike that the kid just rolls his eyes.

“I’m happy I’m clearly better than Mike,” Dustin said smugly. 

“Wait,” Robin jolts up, looking at Steve with a manic grin. “Steve. Babysit, Adopt, Abandon. Dustin, Max, El.” 

“Oh, you suck.” He glares at her, leaning back and looking at the ceiling. “Dear lord, okay. Okay, hold on.”

They all laugh, watching him struggle to figure it out. Nancy eventually gives him a pitying look. “I’ll give you an easier one in the meantime. Kiss, Marry, Kill. Eddie, Jonathan, Robin.” 

“Oh, easy. Kill Jonathan, payback buddy, Kiss Robin, Marry Eddie.” He waves it off, going back to the child dilemma. He doesn’t realize the silence around him for a moment before they all just start laughing. 

“Wow, don’t even want to marry your girlfriend?” Dustin cackles. 

His thoughts come to a halt, slowly lifting his head and looking at Dustin in confusion before sharing a look with Robin. She looks resigned as she digs out a warhead and passes it over. He takes it, still confused as well, and pops it in his mouth. 

“Robin isn’t my girlfriend though?” He says around the sour taste. 

“Wait, what?” There is a slight riot as they all talk over each other. 

“Of course they aren’t dating,” Argyle chimes in, looking at Robin. “You got another one of those?”

Robin and Steve grin, getting up and bowing down at his feet, both offering up a warhead. Argyle laughs, taking both of the candies. “Right on, my loyal subjects.”

“All hail the almighty Argyle,” they both giggle, bowing a bit.  

“Okay, that’s it. What the hell is going on with you two lately?” Nancy snaps, Mike chorusing in. 

“I’m getting the board!” Robin shreeks, jumping up and practically tripping up the stairs in her haste. Steve holds his hand up, waiting for Robin to come back with the board. When she does, she plops back down on the ground and shows off the board with 17 ticks in the ‘they suck column.’ 

“Before we continue, Argyle. You are in the know, correct?” Steve looks over his shoulder at the guy.

“Yeah, my dude. Figured it out pretty much right away.” He gives him a thumbs up. Robin nods and adds a tick in the ‘they rule’ column. 

“Alright, now. As you are all aware, there is this board. Dustin, you know the context from last time, what was it?” Steve gestures to the teen who looks annoyed and confused. 

“How many times you struck out on getting a date.” He answers.

“Okay, now. I have been saying something, telling you all something, but none of you have clued in.” Steve said slowly, having fun with it. 

“And every time you guys didn’t clue in, we were punished.” Robin adds on, pulling out the candies. 

“Whenever you guys took a candy, Steve was-” Will cut himself off, eyes widening. “Oh.” 

Steve grabbed the marker and ticked off another mark, knowing Will was pretty much on his trail already so it definitely didn’t take long. Will just smiled at him, giving him a thumbs up as well. 

“Do you need another hint?” Robin giggles. “Okay, Steve and I are definitely not dating. We never will. We are soulmates, but Platonic.”

“With a capital P,” Steve chimed in. 

“Because I will never be attracted to Steve.” Robin gives him a sly grin. “He’s pretty, but not my kind of pretty.” 

“Oh,” Jonathan blinks. He gives Steve a look and nods, giving him a thumbs up, which annoys the hell out of Nancy as Steve puts another tally. 

El gets off the couch, calmly walking over and adding a tally to the board. Steve grins at her, the girl giving one back. “I didn’t know they didn’t know.”

“Makes sense why she never looked surprised,” Robin whispered. 

“Wait, Billy?” Max looked at Steve, giving him a weird look.

“Oh, yeah definitely.” He nodded. Billy and him were definitely screwing around, but it was more like hate-fucking. It still broke him when Billy passed away and now Max kind of knows why.

“Add another one,” she says quietly, looking at Steve in a new light. He gives her a small smile and marks another tally. 

“Okay, I’m sorry but I am not playing this little game.” Nancy narrows her eyes, glaring at the two of them. “Just tell us.”

“Hold on,” Eddie cuts in, pulling his hair into a bun. “I want to figure it out.”

“Jesus, fuck.” Steve breathes, heart fluttering. Robin cackles, patting Steve’s back as he hides in his hands. He hears Argyle and Jonathan chuckle as well, the stoners patting his back sympathetically. 

“They would be so pretty,” he whines to Robin, making her start wheezing as she slumps over, laughing hysterically. “But so dumb.”

“Well, Aunt Robin will make sure they’re smart.” She manages to say, controlling herself. 

“Wait, isn’t Dustin your love child?” Argyle chimed in, grinning at the laugh he got from the two on the floor.

“Oh my god, he is,” Jonathan started laughing as well, even Will had joined in. 

“This is even worse with all of you in on it,” Dustin whined. 

“He really is your love child.” Nancy had snuck up on them, taking the marker and adding a tick. She gave Steve a proud smile, patting his shoulder before going to sit back down beside Jonathan. 

“Oh shit!” Lucas shouted, laughing and grinned at Steve. “Yeah, okay. I see it. You have good taste, Harrington. Maybe except for Billy.”

“What can I say, he was good with his tongue.” Steve shrugged, smirking at the disgusted noises and groans.

“You really weren’t subtle at all,” Nancy huffed. “Fuck the rich.”

Steve and Robin start laughing their asses off, Nancy rolling her eyes. “I’m calling you bacon now.” 

Steve wheezes, slamming his hand on the ground. Robin is practically on top of him, giggling hysterically. “It’s so fitting!” 

“At least that means I’m delicious,” Steve manages to calm down a little. He looks at Eddie and winks. “Want a taste?”

“Oh,” Eddie blinks. “Oh!” 

Robin just giggles and adds another tally to the board. Steve gets up, grunting from the awkward angles he was laying at. He walks over to Eddie, climbing into his lap and hiding in his neck. 

“Oh damn, okay.” Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve, letting out an incredulous laugh. “Fuck, were you serious this entire time?”

Steve just hums, smiling at the excited laugh Eddie lets out. “So pretty, but so dumb.” 

“Ew, wait is this real?” Dustin whined. 

“Yes, and it’s cute.” Max grinned. “So shut it.” 

“So, princess?” Eddie whispered. Steve shivered slightly, pulling back to glare at him. 

“I was practically throwing myself at your feet, and now you’re teasing me? Nice try, you gotta work for it now.” Steve smirked. 

“Damn, it will be so hard to win your favour.” Eddie said sarcastically, gesturing to Steve who was sitting in his lap.

“Oh, don’t let this fool you. I just like affection.” Steve grinned, pointing at Robin. “I can easily go back to her.”

“No,” the metalhead whined. “Mine.”

“Hey, dingus! Stop flirting and get back over here! I want to watch this movie with someone dumb.” Robin called, looking fondly at them.

“Says the woman who finds it hilarious when I find all the filming mistakes.” Steve went to climb off Eddie, but the older man held him tight. 

“I just got you and you’re trying to leave?” Eddie pouts. 

Steve grins, leaning back in and bringing his lips to the other man's ear. “For now, but you’re coming home with me.”

“Oh shit, yeah I’m on board.” Eddie grinned. Steve grinned, leaning down to kiss his cheek quickly before pushing off and going back to Robin. She’s giving him a smug look and he just shoves her over. 

“Hold on, why does it matter if Robin thinks he's pretty but not her kind?” Dustin says suddenly. Steve slowly looks at Robin, who shares the look with him. Before either of them can start a new game Nancy throw’s a pillow at them. 

“No. Dustin, she’s a lesbian.” She says instead, smirking as the two of the floor whine at how rude she is for ruining their new game. Jonathan just starts up the movie, ignoring all of them before going back to cuddle Nancy. 

“Operation Hail Argyle?” Robin whispers to him. 

“Hell yeah.” They share a smirk. Silly Nancy, of course they would always find some other thing to amuse them.

Chapter Text

“So, I have to know.” Eddie said as soon as they got into Steve’s house. Steve hummed, turning on the lights as he passed. He hated how dark his house could be. “What’s your answer for babysit, adopt, abandon?”

“Easy. Adopt El, adopt Max, abandon Dustin.” Steve ignores Eddie as he starts laughing his ass off.

“Is this because Dustin stole your pizza?” Eddie caught Steve around the waist, pulling him away from inspecting his house. 

“Little shit thinks he can get away with anything cause he’s cute. Jokes on him, he can be homeless.” Steve pouts. It quickly slips off his face when Eddie starts leaving kisses all over his neck, making him smile. 

“We both know you would never let any of those kids go homeless,” Eddie mutters against his neck.

“Of course not,” Steve snorts. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t make empty threats.”

“So what’s your real answer, pretty boy?” Eddie pulls back, giving him a small, smug look. He clearly already knows the answer.

“Adopt all three, obviously.” Steve huffs. “Now, are you going to take me to bed or no?”

“Terribly sorry, princess. Lead the way.” Eddie smirks. 

“Is this so you can check out my ass? Cause I know it looks good, but you can just ask.” Steve says smugly, leading the way to the stairs, pausing for a moment for Eddie to look. “Happy?”

“Cocky much?” Eddie chuckles. 

“I’ll only get worse,” Steve smirks. “You're dating the prettiest boy in Hawkins afterall.”

“God, you’re the best. Upstairs, pretty boy. Come on.” Eddie claps his hands, both of them laughing as they stumble into Steve’s room, Eddie kissing and marking up his neck. “I’m telling Dustin you’re abandoning him.”

“Don’t you dare,” he smacks Eddie’s arm. “I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Alright, I won’t tell him on one condition.” He pulls back, giving Steve an amused look. “I get to fuck the rich.”

“Easy request, can fulfill, get on the bed and I can assist with that.” Steve rushed out, shoving him back towards the bed, Eddie laughing loudly as they both tumbled onto it. 

Eddie told Dustin when he was being a cocky little shit at the next campaign, leading to Eddie on his knees apologizing to Steve multiple times.