Work Text:
1.
Regulus was used to spending Saturday nights alone, with a book or a quill in his hand. He wasn’t lonely, he was just… alone. Barty, Rosier and Avery were good friends, truly, but he preferred his own company.
The stars were bright on the first night of October. Regulus was sat on the corridor bench in the courtyard, away from sight. The chilly autumn air was biting his cheeks, but the candle that was lit up besides him was glowing in warmth.
“Sorry, I didn’t realise someone was here.”
James Potter, with his hair a mess and cheeks aflame.
Regulus was half expecting some Gryffindor girl to appear from behind him in similar state.
No one came.
Looking more closely, Regulus could see that there were tears brimming James’ eyes. His shoulders were tense, and jaw set tight.
Not a heated make-out in the dark corridors, but a fight, then. Perhaps with Sirius, or Evans or Snape even.
Regulus closed his book, stood up and walked past him to the stairway.
“Blow the candle out when you go.”
“You could stay?”
It was hesitant, slow and soft.
The autumn air was biting his cheeks, and Regulus was biting his tongue.
The sound of his shoes against the stepstones echoed the whole way down the hall.
2.
“Hey, Reg!”
Regulus was walking towards the changing room from the quidditch pitch, when he saw James jogging from the other side of pitch to catch up with him.
“Don’t call me that.”
“I’ll stop calling you that, when you start calling me by my first name, Reg.”
He was grinning wide, arrogant. Charming.
“Forget it, Potter.”
Regulus wasn’t smiling, in fact he made a point not to let his face portray any emotion.
“Don’t think I will!” James replied cheerily.
“Did you actually have something you wanted to talk about, or did you come here just to bother me?”
“While bothering you is one of my favourite things to do, I wanted to ask you if you are going to Hogsmeade next weekend.”
“No, I don’t think I will.”
“Well, if you wanted company, you could come with me, or us! Sirius would like to spend time with you.”
“Tell Sirius, he doesn’t have to send his friends to ask me to spend time with him out of pity.”
“No it wasn’t- He didn’t-“ James bit his lip.
Regulus turned away and started walking back to the changing rooms.
“Wait!”
“What?”, Regulus sighed.
“If you don’t have anything to do right now, you could stay a while longer, train with me for a bit?”
“Can’t. Homework.” He turned around once more and walked off the field
3.
“You should stay.”
It was a casual invite, not too personal, but still agreeable.
Regulus did want to stay. He was having a good time, great even. Everyone there was nice, and for the first time he didn’t feel like an outcast, unwelcome and unaccepted.
James was looking at him expectantly. His eyes were sincere the way they only got after few glasses of wine.
Staying would mean something more than just a few more glasses and jokes. James would invite him to dance and then apologize profusely for stepping on his toes. He would joke about Sirius’ ridiculous hair style. He would lean in and just maybe Regulus would too. Just maybe it would be the moment they’d solidify this unspoken promise of something more.
“I’m sorry, I have to go.”
4.
“I have to tell you; I like you most when it’s just you and me alone”. James said softly, laying on the sheets, sweat glistening lightly on his skin. Golden hour seeping through the thin curtains made him look angelic, complete.
“I bet it’s just because I won’t kiss you with anyone around.”
Regulus leaned in to him, he couldn’t help himself, and James slowly caressed his jaw. Regulus closed his eyes.
“Stay the night?”
“No, I-“
He was afraid it would be too much, for him for James.
“I have to get up early tomorrow.”
He leaned down. Kissed James once more, for goodbye.
5.
James had tears in his eyes.
“Stay with me here, Reg, I don’t want you to leave.”
“You know I can’t.”
He wanted to stay, Merlin, how much he wanted to yield and surrender himself to the arms of the other man standing in front of him.
“Yes, you can! We can figure this out, please.”
James grabbed his hands and Regulus let him.
Regulus wished he was stronger man. A better man, for Sirius, James and himself. And for once he was going to do the right thing. Even if James didn’t see it like that.
“James, I have to do this. I have to pay for what I’ve done.”
He was gone and James was standing on the porch.
+1
“Reg. Come back to bed.”
“I swear, you have bewitched me so fully, I fear that one day I just can’t turn away from you.” Regulus sighed looking away and started to button his shirt.
“Regulus, please, I’m not asking you to give your life to me or to love me eternally, just, please, stay for once!”
“I would give my life to you, and I’m afraid I might have done it already.” Regulus turned to him, smiling softly, crinkles in his eyes so familiar and so loving. James shivered. He could swear the way Regulus made him feel was the closest he had ever been to god.
“How can you say something like that so casually?”
“What?”
“How can you possibly say something like that, and not take into count how your every word makes me feel like I could survive simply from the sound of your voice.”
“Because I’m too busy untangling my thoughts from the mess your smile leaves them.”
The happiness and adoration in Regulus’ voice was so deep, so consummating that his eyes glossed, and he leaned forwards to press his forehead into Regulus’s hair.
“Stay.”
His voice was a ghost of a sound, silent question to which the speaker was already expecting the familiar words explaining how he couldn’t, he shouldn’t.
The words never came.
Regulus turned around to face James. He lifted his hand to stroke away a loose curl shading James’s eye. James didn’t dare to look up. He didn’t want to see the apologetic look in Regulus’ eyes. Regulus didn’t move, didn’t say anything. He pressed his lips to James’s. Lightly, lovingly. He took a shuddering breath and exhaled.
“I’ll stay.”