Archive of Our Own

Growing up under the Zoldyck name was supposed to be a privilege— and maybe it was when Kalluto was still delusional. Lucky enough for him, he didn't have many expectations placed upon him. Killua had the "privilege" of that. Everything that the Zoldycks stood for and what they were supposed to represent, Killua filled that position with ease.

One of Kalluto’s earliest memories was him clutching his mother's dress as she praised Killua, saying, "You're going to be something special: the Zoldyck heir."

To Kalluto, Killua had everything he could've ever wanted: respect, strength, praise . He didn't have to worry about anything except following the family's expectations. He had the golden light placed upon him.

So Kalluto was confused when Killua finally snapped and told Mother and Father that he wanted his own destiny, that he didn't want to be an assassin. And when their father laughed and Mother wailed, he lashed out then ran away. He never spared Kalluto a glance and couldn't seem to remember what they kept hidden in the basement. When he did return, he still never looked Kalluto's way even though Kalluto's eyes were always on him. His friends retrieved him and that was that.

He remembered being angry at Killua's "friends" because Mother told him that Zoldycks don't have friends. He thought it was foolish to claim to be the friend of a Zoldyck, but in the end they got what they wanted and Kalluto was left with the secret in the basement. 

Kalluto remembered the day Killua forgot about his sister. When Killua was told about the needle that was going to be placed upon him, he cried and fought. He didn't want to forget about Alluka, but he never got the chance to plead his case. Instead, he looked to Kalluto and in Kalluto's little mind, it was everything . Killua looked at him and begged him not to forget about Alluka.

Then the needle was placed and Kalluto watched the light dim from his eyes. He wiped his tears and continued on with his life like the perfect puppet he was supposed to be. Of course, he was still Killua in the end, but he couldn't seem to remember the basement .

Kalluto did what he was told and never forgot Alluka. He used to sit outside of the door and listen to his sister cry and ask if there was anyone listening. There were times where he was too afraid to speak up, until the one time he wasn't.

“I'm here, nii-san.”

There was a gasp on the other side, then shuffling.

“Is that you, Kalluto?”

“Yeah, nii-san.”

It was quiet for a moment, then there was sniffling. A hiccup, then, “Hi, Kalluto.”

“Hi, nii-san,” he whispered back.

“Kalluto?”

“Yeah, nii-san?”

“Would it be okay if I was your nee-chan instead of your nii-san?”

“Yeah, nee-chan.”

“Okay.”

Another moment of silence. Shuffling and sniffing.

“I love you, Kalluto.”

Kalluto never said anything in return, but from then on, Alluka was his older sister. Eventually, he was caught and forbidden from going to the basement. So as his family's shadow, he did as he was told.

Knowing all of this, it was no surprise Kalluto didn't know how to be around Killua and Alluka. They bantered with each other and playfully insulted one another like normal siblings did. Kalluto did the one thing he was good at and watched. He watched as they dealt with the problems the family had gifted them together. 

Kalluto would sometimes catch Alluka staring at the wall in a daze until Killua tapped on her shoulder asking if she was okay. The empty look in her eyes wouldn’t disappear but she would smile and say, “Killua!” as if it’d been the first time she saw him.

On the other hand, Killua would stare at his phone with an odd look that had a hint of longing behind it. If Kalluto had known better, he would’ve asked what happened to his friends that had come for him before. In fact, he would’ve asked about the two years that had passed since the last time he saw his brother. 

Perhaps he didn’t want to know. 

So here he was, sitting upright in bed. The hotel room was dark and quiet signaling that everything and everyone should rest. In the months they traveled with one another, the hotel rooms ranged from small and cozy to large and luxurious. It all depended on how long they would be staying in a given place. 

This room was on the smaller side since their flight was tomorrow morning. Killua was adamant on not telling them where they were going since it was supposed to be a surprise. The excitement of it all had made it hard to sleep, but it had eventually burned out and was replaced with restlessness. Though, for a completely different reason. 

Alluka, who was peacefully sleeping next to him, stirred in her sleep mumbling incoherent words. Kalluto felt his body go still as he waited for her to settle. Once she did, he put a hand to his chest and looked down at her. Her mouth was wide open while her wild hair formed a halo on her pillow. 

Kalluto could feel himself slowly relaxing as he stared at her. Yet, the guilt had different plans for him. Did he truly deserve this? 

He moved his legs over to the side of the bed and pulled the heart-shaped necklace from under his collar. He rubbed the pendant with his thumb and took a deep breath. The taste of freedom was addicting but the urge to return to something familiar was strong. Even if that familiar was something he had come to detest.

To be completely honest, he was scared. It was so much easier to exist when someone decided everything for him. This was unknown territory. True genuine sibling bonds weren't something he was used to. These types of things usually came with strings attached. 

A hand came down to rest on his arm and successfully pulled him out of the hole he was spiraling into. Kalluto whipped his head around to see Alluka sleepily peeking up at him. 

“Toto, why are you up?” she whispered. Kalluto opened his mouth, then closed it. A lie danced on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. So, he turned away from her and played with the hem of his shirt. The next thing he knew, Alluka was maneuvering herself so that she was sitting beside him. 

When Kalluto refused to look up at her, she huffed and poked his cheek. “C’mon, Toto, what’s on your mind?”

“I... I didn’t mean to wake you,” he deflected.

“I know.” She tilted her head so that she was in his view. “What’s up?”

With a heavy sigh, he figured that he might as well confess. “Do you… well— I mean, have you—? No.” He took a deep breath. “Do you ever think about… home?”

That made Alluka’s jaw shut with a click which had Kalluto backtracking.

“Not that I want to go back—”

“I used to,” she answered and moved her gaze to the window in front of them. “I used to wonder what life would’ve been like if we were a normal family. If I was never locked away. But then I had Brother, then I had you. And honestly, you two are the only home I need.” Her eyes were soft when she looked back at Kalluto.

He gaped back at her until she continued with a smile, “Are you thinking of home?”

“Ah… um, yes? And no, I guess. I just—” He balled up his fists. “I’m not used to this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do except…” He paused. “...watch.”

Alluka hummed and leaned back on her arms. “Do you know who you are outside of other people? I mean, you seemed to be experimenting before you ran into us.”

“Experimenting?”

“Yeah, when you did things that you wanted to do even when other people frowned upon it.”

Kalluto thought about how he jumped on the mattress in the hotel room he’d bought and the croptop he owned. Things he wanted to do and try. He imagined their mother’s shrill as she saw Kalluto being who he wanted to be. Traveling around with the heir and the basement’s secret; his siblings. 

At the same time, he couldn’t stop his heart from racing as he thought about the judgemental gazes from his family members he would get if they found out. 

“Is this truly okay? I… I was being reckless before. Mother would be so upset—”

A finger pressed against his lips. “Mother isn’t here and she won’t ever be,” Alluka spoke firmly. “Who are you , Kalluto?”

It was a question his brain responded to robotically. ‘The youngest Zoldyck and future assassin under the Zoldyck name.’ However, it wasn’t the answer that he wanted.

Alluka wrapped her arm around Kalluto and squeezed. Experimenting, his mind repeated. Who was he and who did he want to be? He peeked up at Alluka then slowly rested his head on her shoulder.

He wanted to be a sibling that was worthy of his sister and brother’s love.

⟢⟡⟣

(With his back turned to his siblings, Killua stared at the wall with a conflicted expression on his face.)

⟢⟡⟣

The morning came with a swiftness that had Kalluto groaning when Killua nudged him awake. "Hey, wake up you two. I can't believe I'm up first," Killua grumbled. "Go shower while I order breakfast."

Alluka pulled the blanket over her head. "Toto can go first, I wanna sleep."

"Nee-san..." Kalluto whined. Killua shrugged. 

"You heard your sister. You're first."

With a dramatic sigh, Kalluto was up and out of the bed. The rest of the morning passed in a blur of hot water, breakfast burritos, and— 

"Kiki, where'd you put my shirt?!" Alluka shouted from the bathroom. Kalluto and Killua were packing their bags when Killua let out an irritated sigh.

"It's mine!" he yelled back. 

"Did I ask if it was yours? No! Give it back!"

"Tough luck," he mumbled under his breath and proceeded to zip up his bag with an exaggerated flare. He turned to Kalluto with a deadpan. "You see how she treats me?" 

Kalluto looked between the bathroom door and Killua with wide, amused eyes. It was the kind of banter that Kalluto wished he was brave enough to partake in. 

The bathroom door opened to reveal a pouting, fully-dressed Alluka. "You're gonna regret stealing my shirt," she growled. The audacious comment made Killua's jaw drop.

"Since when did it belong to you?”

"Since I bought it."  

The lie hung in the air as Kalluto bit his lip to keep his smile under control. Killua stared at her, scrutinizing her face before bursting out into laughter. It seemed as if Alluka couldn't keep her composure either because she joined in as well.

Kalluto watched the two of them, burning the memory into his brain. 

Later, when they finally finished packing and made it onto the airship, Kalluto drew the memory in his journal. Two bickering siblings. The thought made him smile as he shut the book.

“Whatcha smiling about?” Killua leaned into Kalluto’s space with a grin. Kalluto could feel the heat rush to his cheeks.

“Oh! Um… nothing,” he said meekly.

Killua raised an eyebrow. “You sure? It doesn’t look like nothiiiing ,” he drew out. Kalluto puffed out his cheeks in response. 

Before he could properly retaliate, a tray of fries was placed between them. “Stop teasing Toto, Kiki,” Alluka made space for herself by pushing them apart. “Besides, we’ll find out eventually.”

“What do you mean by that?” Kalluto found himself saying. He watched as his two older siblings gave him identical mischievous grins.

Alluka grabbed a fry and popped it into her mouth. “Oh, nothing.”

Kalluto hugged his journal to his chest. “Meanies,” he whined. When Killua and Alluka let out laughs, he realized he was being teased. He blinked in surprise and loosened his grip on the book, giving them a small smile. 

Banter.

“Your necklace is turning pink,” Killua pointed out, using his fry to emphasize his point. 

“Huh— oh!” Kalluto looked down to see it swirling pink. He quickly tucked it under his shirt. “I didn’t realize.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Alluka started, sliding the tray of fries toward Kalluto. “What does the necklace do?”

Taking a fry, he pondered his next words carefully. “I… don’t know, actually. Sometimes it changes colors depending on my mood, sometimes it doesn’t.”

“So does pink mean love?” Killua butted in. Alluka gasped.

“Awww, do you love us, Toto?” she cooed, gently pinching his cheek. Kalluto felt the red, hot embarrassment burn his cheeks as he forced his eyes to look out the window in front of them.

“I don’t think Kalluto is at the ‘words of affirmation’ stage in our dynamic, yet,” Killua said. Alluka moved her hand from his cheek to the top of his head.

“That’s fine, I’m patient.”

Kalluto breathed out a sigh of relief. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d told anyone that he loved them, if ever. He could show it, but it didn’t seem to be in his vocabulary. In fact, the only time someone had said those forbidden three words, it was through a wall. And it came from Alluka.

“Oh! Can I paint your nails, Toto?” The change in topic was quickly accepted by Kalluto. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Cool! I think black would suit you perfectly! I’ll just use Brother’s—”

“Hey—”

The three of them talked about any and everything that came to mind while Alluka focused on putting the black polish on Kalluto’s nails. Every so often, the two younger siblings attempted to get a hint from Killua about where they were going, but he kept his lips sealed.

At one point, Alluka was in the middle of putting the final layer of polish on when she completely tuned out. Her eyes were far away while she stared at Kalluto’s hand. The light left her bright blue eyes.

“Nee-san?” Kalluto asked, concerned. Killua picked up on his tone and looked up from his phone. Since Alluka’s back was to him on the bench they shared, he had to lean around to get a look at her.

“Alluka?” Killua asked, staring into her eyes. 

“Want to say hi to Baby ‘lluto.” Her voice came out in a near whine as she moved her gaze to Killua. Kalluto jumped slightly because he hadn’t heard that nickname in years. He opened his mouth to say something, anything really, but recognition flooded Killua’s face so he decided against it.

The recognition swiftly changed into panic when Killua looked around their surroundings. “Not yet, very soon, okay?”

Alluka didn’t like that in the slightest. “Waited a long time. Want to say hi now.”

Killua bit his lip nervously, looked over Alluka’s shoulder to Kalluto, then leaned forward again. “Please make it quick. You’ll get more time when we arrive.”

“Wha…?” Kalluto began to ask, but Killua gave him a look that said ‘Later’. Alluka’s face split into a wide grin as she looked back at Kalluto.

“Baby ‘lluto!” she cried and wrapped her arms around him. “So…So big! Big ‘lluto!” Her voice turned gushy as she patted the top of his head.

“Okay, time to go back,” Killua ushered, keeping his eyes on the people around them.

Alluka gave him one more good-natured pat before saying, “‘Kay.”

All Kalluto could do was stare in bewilderment as Alluka closed her eyes, slumped forward, then bounced up as if nothing happened. After a couple of blinks, she brought a hand to her chest.

“Whoops. Sorry about that, she was too excited and couldn’t wait,” she said as if that explained the events that just occurred.

“Wha…What just happened?” Kalluto asked. Alluka reached for his hand and the nail polish again.

“Don’t worry, you’ll have your answers soon enough. She won’t allow me to forget.”

⟢⟡⟣

After an hour or so of staring out of the window, taking naps, and wondering what exactly happened to Alluka, Killua was the one to finally break the silence. "Oh yeah, when we land, we're going shopping. It's going to be really cold."

"You're telling us this now?!" Alluka squawked. "We could've gone shopping earlier."

"Stop complaining before I let you freeze."

Alluka blew a raspberry in response, but Kalluto was too tuned out to listen. He stretched out his fingers, observing the way the black polish contrasted his skin. He started to smile when an idea popped into his mind.

“Um… can we get construction paper while we’re there?” he asked.

Killua gave a nonchalant shrug. “I don’t see why not. Is it for your origami?”

Kalluto felt his heart freeze in his chest, before it started to beat again. This time, faster than before. “I…uh— yeah! How did— How’d you know?” He let himself cling onto the hope that began to bud in his chest.

“Well, I remember you used to do it during our family meetings. Right?” Killua continued. 

The hope exploded into a myriad of colors and turned into pure happiness because—

Kalluto didn’t think anyone ever noticed. Especially not Killua. Especially not during family meetings . It was a quiet activity that he indulged in while the family was giving Killua a rundown of the expectations he needed to live up to. And to think that Killua had paid attention to Kalluto during that time.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said with a smile. “I, um, I got better at it, too.”

Alluka made a noise of awe. “ Whaaat? Really? I didn’t know you did origami! We’re definitely going to find some paper for you.”

“Do you think you can make something for me?” Killua asked. Alluka seconded the request with an eager nod and smile.

“I’d be happy to.” Kalluto’s heart felt full of flowers and butterflies. He didn’t quite know this yet, but his journal was going to be filled to the brim with doodles of this moment and what he wanted to make for his siblings.

Eventually the airship landed and the three Zoldyck siblings allowed themselves to breathe in the fresh air. Of course, the sentiment ended when a strong gust of wind sent a chill up their spines.

“I don’t get it! It’s supposed to be summertime! Why is it so cold here?” Alluka asked through chattering teeth.

“We’re in the southern hemisphere so the weather here is different,” Killua answered, grabbing onto her hand. “That’s why we’re going directly to the store.”

Alluka reached for Kalluto’s hand as Killua led them toward a shopping district. Kalluto allowed her to take it while the three of them took in their surroundings.

Despite the chill in the air, the sun still shined brightly and the townspeople bustled with energy. Mountains and trees surrounded the large town along with the snow that rested on them.

Kalluto nearly kicked himself for forgetting that he had a phone. The ability to take pictures allowed the possibility of keeping memories longer than his own mind’s capabilities. He opened the camera and snapped a photo of the landscape that surrounded them.

Then he moved the camera toward his older siblings and took another one.

Alluka perked up at the shutter and gave Kalluto a wide grin.

They continued walking until they stopped in front of a large building. Through the windows, Kalluto could see the different types of winter clothes and perked up. Killua released Alluka’s hand and cleared his throat. 

“You two go in first and make sure you stick together. There are a few arrangements I have to make before we get to where we’re going.” He pulled out his wallet and handed Alluka a card. “Also, Alluka’s in charge.”

“I won’t let you down, commander,” Alluka saluted with an obnoxiously deep voice. An amused smile spread across Killua’s face before waving them off.

“Yeah, yeah, I know you won’t. Now go before I change my mind.”

With that Alluka was yanking Kalluto into the store with a delighted laugh.

⟢⟡⟣

Shopping with Alluka proved to be a nightmare and a blessing in disguise. She breezed through the clothing racks, grabbing every last article of clothing that caught her eye. Pretty soon their cart was begging for mercy from the pile of clothes that was constantly being added to.

On the other hand, she would pull out an article of clothing and place it in front of Kalluto. Then she would ask how he felt about it. If he gave a hesitant head shake, she would put it back. But if she saw stars form in his eyes, she would proudly put it in the cart.

Eventually they reached the dressing rooms and Alluka was spinning on her heel to face him. “Okay! We’re gonna try the clothes on and have a mini fashion show! It’s gonna be so fun.” She grabbed a few jackets and dresses, then nodded.

Kalluto didn’t have any arguments so he grabbed some of the items that caught his eye and headed toward the men’s room.

Except that he hesitated. He stared between the men and women’s rooms and frowned at the weird feeling that burgeoned in him. 

“You okay, Toto?” Alluka asked from behind him.

“I… don’t know.” He took another step toward the men’s room before letting out a frustrated huff. “Sorry, it’s just that— why do the rooms have to be separated by gender? What if there were people who don’t see themselves as a man or a woman? It just makes things more complicated.” 

Surely that was the problem. He was upset for other people, right? 

“Are you one of those people?” Alluka asked gently, resting a hand on his shoulder. His mouth opened then shut with a click.

He had never considered it. He knew that he was fine being referred to as a brother and that he was a “guy”— 

Woah, he was not going to think about the connotations of putting quotations over that word.

“I think I’d feel better if we had the fashion show in the same area,” he deflected. Alluka’s eyes softened, then her whole face lit up.

“Okay! Let’s go!” she squealed as she dragged Kalluto toward the women’s room. He ignored the way his heart felt wrong for doing so, instead enjoying his sister’s presence.

⟢⟡⟣

The sheer amount of clothes they ended up purchasing should’ve been a crime. Their fashion show ended up taking so long that Killua had to physically drag the two out of the women’s dressing room. 

“You’re no fun, brother!” Alluka had cried out, using her hot pink feather boa to add emphasis.

“We didn’t even get to try the vintage dresses yet!” Kalluto complained as he whipped off his large cat-eyed sunglasses. 

“I don’t even want to know how you two got your hands on vintage dresses ,” Killua had huffed.

After that, it was no surprise that Killua was forced to carry each and every last bag of clothes they bought. And it was through pure luck that Killua was able to balance some bags on his shoulder. 

The sun was beginning to set so Killua had ushered them into the nearest taxi. The driver’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when they took in the amount of bags they had. 

Kalluto and Alluka giggled amongst themselves as they watched Killua struggle to get everything to fit into the trunk. Kalluto’s giggles came to a swift halt when Killua slid into the seat next to him, forcing Kalluto to sit in the middle.

“Hang on, why can’t I get a window seat?” he asked indignantly.

“You’re the youngest, so no window privileges for you,” Alluka winked. Ah, betrayal at its finest. 

The drive didn’t last very long, which Kalluto was extremely grateful for, and came to an end in the middle of the woods— something Kalluto was not grateful for. 

There was snow on the ground and the sun was nowhere to be seen. “Brother… why are we here?” Alluka asked, not willing to budge from her seat.

Killua gave her a knowing grin and slid out of the car. “You’ll see.”

The three of them grabbed as many bags as they could carry and watched as the taxi disappeared into the distance, leaving them surrounded by trees and darkness. The wind blew past them and Kalluto shivered. He and Alluka looked toward their older brother, who was fixing his grip on one of their bags.

“You two ready?” Killua said at last.

“What are we getting ready for?” Kalluto asked.

“Follow me and find out.”

They marched through the woods, stepping on twigs, branches, and the occasional bug that cried out in response. Kalluto grimaced and slowly stepped off of the boulder that protruded from the dirt.

Killua would sometimes pause and look up toward the stars that were twinkling above, then continue moving. Alluka would move to complain, but Killua would just shoot her a look that made the complaint die on her tongue.

Then, finally, they broke through the trees and were exposed to a cabin and a crystal lake beside it. Killua looked back at his siblings and grinned.

“We’re here.”

⟢⟡⟣

The cabin was warm when they entered and had everything they needed. Food, heating, lights, and hot water. It was like pure heaven. The living room and kitchen were downstairs while their rooms were on the second floor. They each toppled over each other trying to put claims on the best one.

Kalluto dropped the bags he was carrying and plopped on his back on the bed. It briefly bounced him in the air, before allowing him to rest. 

He wanted to unpack but the bed was so inviting . He’d gladly allow himself to sink deeper and deeper into the mattress—

“Toto! C’mere!” Alluka called from downstairs.

Kalluto hesitated for a moment, wondering what she would possibly need him for— then it clicked. He leapt out of the bed and tried to act like he didn’t want to bolt down the stairs. He had to keep a cool exterior as if he wasn’t about to be let in on a secret that his older siblings were so tight lipped about. 

When he reached the bottom step, Alluka and Killua were standing in the middle of the living room near the fireplace. Alluka had her back turned to him and was saying something to Killua, when the Killua noticed Kalluto. 

A soft smile spread across his lips and he placed his hands on Alluka’s shoulders. “There’s someone we want you to meet. Alluka was going to introduce her to you herself, but she got a little excited.”

Kalluto opened his mouth to ask who, but closed his mouth when Killua turned Alluka around. 

Alluka’s face had morphed into two deep pits for eyes and a deep, dark smile. Her features seemed to brighten when her gaze landed on Kalluto. “Big baby ‘lluto!” she cried and rushed forward to hug him.

Kalluto gaped as her arms wrapped around his torso. He didn’t really know what to do with his hands because he couldn’t comprehend what was happening. He looked to Killua for help and his brother gave him an encouraging nod. 

Kalluto gently placed his arms around Alluka(?) and Killua continued to speak. “This is Nanika. She’s a spirit who possessed Alluka when we were younger— well, at least we believe she’s a spirit. She’s the one who healed my friend, Gon.”

At the sound of her name, Alluk— Nanika raised her head to grin at Kalluto. Then everything started to make sense.

Why Alluka was deemed a threat to the family; why Alluka became the basement’s secret; and why the nickname was so familiar. 

‘Nii-chaaan! Make me float too!’ his younger self had cried out. The memory was so faint and fuzzy. He was little but he was determined. 

Alluka turned toward him, her eyes and mouth pitch black and said, ‘Kay!’ And Kalluto went toward the sky with a delighted squeal. ‘Baby ‘lluto! Baby ‘lluto!’ Nanika cried out happily as she raised her arms in Kalluto’s direction.

Kalluto squeezed Nanika a little tighter as the memory faded away. He blinked back the tears that burned at his eyes. “Hi, Onee-san,” he said wetly. 

The title made Nanika’s smile turn into pure giddiness. “Onee-san! Nanika is Onee-san!” she claimed as she released Kalluto from the hug. He only had a few seconds of freedom before she was yanking him closer to cradle his face to her chest. “Gonna be the best Onee-san!”

He could hear Killua’s snickers and the snap of a camera. All at once, Kalluto felt like a beloved baby doll from how Nanika was treating him. It sort of reminded him of their mother, except he found that he didn’t exactly mind the treatment. 

⟢⟡⟣

The reunion had to end eventually, especially since Killua was ushering them to bed once it got too late. Nanika wasn’t happy about it, but Killua promised that Kalluto wasn’t going anywhere and that… that made Kalluto smile.

Even now as he laid in his bed, his heart felt full of sunshines and rainbows. He rolled over onto his side and looked at the necklace on his nightstand. It hadn’t stopped glowing pink since the flight. He reached for it and smoothed his fingers over the pendant. 

He didn’t know what the necklace truly did, but he liked having it around. At first, he was afraid that the emotions he felt weren’t genuine— even now it worried him— but now he somewhat understood that the emotions were still his. It was like the necklace was a key to the emotions that wanted to be free.

Kalluto huffed, removing his hand from the pendant, and closed his eyes. Enough thinking, now we sleep, he thought to himself. 

A minute passed. Then two—

Then he gave up. 

“Gah!” he whisper-shouted into the open air as he threw his limbs out. 

Too many things had occurred during the day and his mind was still excited from all of the events. He’d probably have an easier time sleeping if he went on a walk. With that, he slid out of bed and silently left his room.

The hallway was dark as he tiptoed through it, not wanting to wake his siblings. He walked until he stood in front of Alluka’s cracked door. When he peeked inside, he could see her hair sticking up in the most random places and the drool slipping out from her open mouth. He covered his mouth with his hand to hide his giggles, then continued on.

He didn’t have to go far before he was at Killua’s door. It was wide open, so he glanced inside.

Killua was sitting at the bay window, talking on the phone. He had his legs propped up as he stared into the sky.

“—wouldn’t believe how cold it is right now,” he said softly. There was a gentle laugh from the receiver. 

‘I can’t say I understand where you’re coming from. I have three fans on me right now.’

It was Killua’s turn to laugh in response. “You’re kidding.”

‘No, no! I’m serious, Killua! The AC chose the worst time to stop working. I’m sweating from places that I’ve never sweat from before!’

“That’s gross, Gon.”

‘And it’s the truth!’

Kalluto watched as Killua smiled fondly at the phone and let out a wistful sigh.

‘Are you okay?’

“I’m okay. I just—” he paused and his eyes flickered over to the doorway where Kalluto was snooping. Luckily, Kalluto had ducked around the corner before he could lay eyes on him. Killua was silent for a moment, most likely staring at the doorway.

‘Killua?’

That brought Killua back to reality. “Hm? Oh— yeah, I was gonna say that I… miss you. That’s all.”

Kalluto could hear the smile in Gon’s voice when he said, ‘I miss you too, Killua! When are you going to come visit Whale Island?’ 

Killua hesitated before saying, “When the heat doesn’t have you sweating from every crack and crevice on your body.” Gon let out a loud laugh that made Killua chuckle. But Kalluto could hear it in his voice; he wasn’t ready to see Gon yet. 

Kalluto didn’t understand why because he could practically see the longing radiating from Killua in waves. Whatever the reason, they still cared about each other deeply if he went off of how tenderly they said goodnight to each other when the conversation came to an end.

The phone call ended with a click and the room was silent for a solid minute before—

“Are you going to come in?”

Kalluto’s heart jumped, horrified that he’d been caught. He slowly peeked around the corner to see Killua staring at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“Uh… hi,” he said meekly, which made Killua snort.

“Did you need something or just wanted to eavesdrop?”

“I didn’t mean to… I couldn’t sleep.”

Killua nodded before gesturing to the spot in front of him. “Wanna keep me company then?”

Kalluto perked up and walked over to the window to sit next to Killua. The two of them sat in a comfortable silence, Kalluto fidgeting the entire time. He wanted to say something but decided it wasn’t his place.

Of course, Killua wasn’t having that. “Just spit it out.”

“Eh—“

“Whatever you want to say, just say it,” Killua said simply, nudging the younger one with his foot. 

Kalluto hesitated. He didn’t want to be too invasive. “But—“ He was silenced by a finger being pressed up against his lips. When he looked up, Killua was giving him an unimpressed look.

“Spit it out.” He then removed his finger.

“You obviously miss Gon so why don’t you go see him,” Kalluto said quickly.

Watching Killua’s eyebrows raise made Kalluto want to eat his words. Before he could backtrack, Killua let out a slight laugh.

“You and Alluka sound exactly the same,” he answered quietly. His eyes moved toward the window.

“Uh… I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. Younger siblings pry all the time. I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

Kalluto watched as Killua readjusted himself and let out a sigh.

“Gon and I… we’ve been through a lot together, practically attached at the hip. But at some point, I didn’t know where he ended and I began— I didn’t know who I was without him.” Killua paused, then continued, “So when I almost lost him for good, I nearly lost my mind and that scared me. That’s when I decided that after he got better, we needed time apart.

Don’t get me wrong, I still… care about him as always, but… I’m scared that if I go back, I’ll never figure out who I am outside of our friendship.” Killua finished his rant with a wry smile. 

Kalluto stared at him, wondering if underneath it all, they had the same goal. “You just want to figure yourself out, then?” He spoke softly.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“I want to figure out who I am too,” Kalluto said a little louder. His heart began to beat a little faster. Kalluto could see the pedestal that kept Killua out of reach come crashing down. 

“Is that so? I guess you’re more like your big brother than your snotty-nosed sister, huh?” His voice took on a teasing tone as a mischievous smirk spread across his face.

Kalluto let out an indignant hey! on his sister’s behalf before allowing himself to laugh along with Killua. 

Never in a million years would Kalluto ever imagine having things in common with Killua. He could never be like the heir; someone who was special and seen. But here he was, on the same life path as him.

There was a sudden warmth on the top of Kalluto’s head. It was a hand. Killua’s hand.

The show of affection was something he had seen Killua do to Alluka a countless amount of times. 

It wasn’t much in terms of affection and probably wouldn’t mean much to a normal person. But, Kalluto wasn’t exactly normal. So it meant the absolute world to him. 

Kalluto gaped at Killua, vision steadily going blurry from unshed tears. His heart was being squeezed in his chest and felt like it would burst from pure happiness . He didn’t want to cry now out of all times, especially not in front of Killua. 

The boy in question gave him an understanding smile before saying, “I love you, Kalluto. Never forget that, okay?”

Two times now. Two times that he’s cried in front of Killua. And two times that someone has said those three forbidden words to him.

Instead, this time it’s face to face.

Killua brought him in for a hug that Kalluto found himself reciprocating without hesitation. 

His siblings loved him. They loved him and that made metaphorical fireworks explode in the sky.

⟢⟡⟣

The next morning, Kalluto woke up in his bed with no idea how or when he got in it. The memory of last night filled his mind and he smiled softly.

Muffled by the walls, a familiar tune came from downstairs, along with a voice that he recognized as his sister's. He would've been content with rolling over and shutting his eyes, but the aroma of pancakes had him up and out of the bed in a matter of seconds. 

His necklace was glowing a vibrant pink from where it rested on his nightstand. He would’ve grabbed it, but decided against it and left the room.

When he reached the bottom floor, he saw Alluka singing with a spatula as the music ricocheted off the walls. 

“You can daance! You can jiiiive!” she sang, spinning around in a circle causing her nightgown to twirl with her. “Having the time of your liiife!” 

Kalluto watched her dance around the kitchen without a care in the world until his eyes landed on a large pile of pancakes on the kitchen island. His mouth watered as the steam radiated from the fresh cakes and the chocolate chips melted into them. He had to have them.

In hindsight, his first mistake was taking his eyes off of Alluka. 

As soon as he reached for a plate, he was being swept into a dance. Alluka had ditched the spatula and was now spinning Kalluto around in a fast-tempo waltz. “You’re in the mood for a dance,” she sang, pretending that she wasn’t practically throwing her sibling around the room.

“No— gah!— I’m not!” It was no use, he was locked in a dance.

“And when you get the chance— you are the dancing queen!” She released him and began a freestyle that had her moving her arms in a marching motion. Then she pointed at him as if it was his turn. 

Kalluto froze like a deer in headlights. Was it his turn? Zoldycks didn’t dance— if they did, it was some random dance that had them stiffly moving with a partner. Not what this was. 

Then again, when he stared at his sister, who was tapping her foot along to the beat, he realized that Zoldycks probably could dance. If Alluka could do it…

Kalluto mimicked Alluka’s foot tapping before nervously placing his hands on his hips and swaying them from side to side to the beat. The delighted smile that spread across Alluka’s face encouraged his movements. He pointed at her and she took his hands and spun him around.

“Digging the dancing queen!” she sang along as the music died down. She enveloped Kalluto in a tight hug before releasing him. “You are officially giving me a run for my money. We may have a new dancing queen in town,” she teased, booping him on the nose.

“I don’t think I’ve really danced like that before,” Kalluto said, finally reaching for the pancakes. Alluka let out a dramatic gasp.

“Oh you poor child! There’s definitely gonna be some more dancing for you,” she answered as she handed him the syrup. “Make sure to eat your fill before the spoiled rich boy steals the rest of our pancakes.”

“Who are you calling a spoiled rich boy?” Killua’s voice startled Alluka which made her frown.

“Who else?” she answered coolly, as if Killua didn’t give her a start.

Killua deadpanned at her, reaching for a plate of his own. “If that’s how it's going to be, then I probably shouldn’t mention that it snowed last night—” He didn’t get to finish his words before his younger siblings were rushing toward the nearest window to yank back the curtains. 

“Woah!” the two of them said in awe. The world around them was covered in white and the window fogged up from their excited breaths. 

Killua smiled at their antics then stuffed his mouth with pancakes. Through the food he said simply, “Make sure you wear something warm.”

⟢⟡⟣

Covered head to toe in thick, warm clothes, the three Zoldyck siblings ventured out into the all-white wonderland. The snow crunched under their boots as they took in their surroundings. Alluka spun around and observed everything, making her skirt twirl around with her.

Kalluto followed close behind her and did his own experimental spin. The two of them wore matching skirts which was something Alluka was adamant about having when they were shopping. She had even shown him how to layer his leggings so that he wouldn’t have freezing legs in the process. 

Alluka stopped in her tracks and turned around to make a delighted declaration. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans.

A chunk of snow hit her straight on, covering her entire face with ice in the process. Kalluto gaped and whipped his head around only to meet the same fate.

“Hah! Got em both!” Killua praised himself.

Now, if there was anything to know about the Zoldyck family, it was that they were deadly and not ones to be trifled with. Even the littlest of them could take you out without batting an eye.

So it was no surprise that Alluka and Kalluto wore matching glares filled with enough malice to make a grown man clutch his pearls and enough animosity to make the narrator sweat a little as they typed.

Yet, unsurprisingly enough, Killua met their glares head on and the menace smirked. He tilted his head and raised an amused eyebrow at his ice-covered siblings. Slowly, but surely, he raised his hand and beckoned them.

Bring it on.

In an instant, Alluka and Kalluto were dashing into the trees, disappearing from sight. Killua, on the other hand, tucked his hands into his pants and watched the afterimage of his siblings from various places in the woods.

A snowball came flying from behind him and he tilted his head. Several more came from behind, then from his left. He let out a yawn and leaned down to scoop up some snow, balling it up in the process. He couldn’t quite hear Kalluto’s footsteps, but he could hear Alluka’s. And knowing Kalluto, he wasn’t too far behind. 

A twig snapped and he was throwing the snowball in between two trees. Alluka let out a surprised noise as the iceball missed her by half a hair. Killua clicked his tongue. Missed. Though he couldn’t be too upset, her training was coming along great.

All at once, everything became silent. Not a footstep, nor a breath could be heard. Killua’s eyes scanned the area searching for the two of them, but nothing. It was like their entire beings had disappeared. 

He let out a low whistle as a proud smile spread across his face. Their zetsu was good. 

Killua decided to take his chance to grab another snowball and as soon as he did, someone was rushing out of the trees behind him. Their footsteps were purposely loud, so it was definitely a distraction. He wouldn’t let the two of them get the upper hand. 

When he turned around, Kalluto threw several snowballs in his direction as he ran toward him. Killua carefully took steps back, dodging the ice with ease. 

“You do know that attacking me from behind will never work, right?” Killua said smugly, throwing his snowball at Kalluto, who ducked. 

“I don’t think so, brother of mine!” Kalluto declared and kicked snow up into the air.

“I so think so, little brother of mine!” Killua mocked and moved around the ice chunks. He opened his mouth to make another retort— but then he felt it.

Freezing cold snow touched the back of his neck and seeped into his jacket. He couldn’t help but let out a startled yelp from the temperature. He whipped his head around to see Nanika giggling.

“I got you, Killua!” she proudly declared. Kalluto ran up to her and gave her a large high-five. 

“We did it! Did you see his face, onee-san?” he teased.

Killua, once again, couldn’t bring himself to be upset at the loss since they seemed to be so happy about it (though the gods knew he would never allow it to happen again). Instead, he got the ice off of his neck and from the inside of his jacket. 

“Anyway. Who wants to go ice skating?” He truly hoped the change in topic would help them forget about his loss.

⟢⟡⟣

(It absolutely didn’t help them forget about his loss. In fact, they would continue to rub it in for years to come.)

⟢⟡⟣

“Brother! Hurry up and pick a rock— it doesn’t need to be a pretty one,” Alluka said impatiently. Killua was walking around the shore, searching for a decently sized rock to throw onto the frozen lake. Kalluto watched his brother ignore their sister while he tightened his skate.

Killua scooped up a white rock and tossed it up a few times to get a feel for it. “I found one so you can stop rushing me.” He stuck out his tongue to which she returned. Killua tossed the rock up once, caught it, then threw it onto the lake.

However, instead of going a reasonable distance, it landed on the far side of the lake. 

Alluka and Kalluto deadpanned at their brother as he slowly turned around to face them with a sheepish grin. “Whoops—”

“Brother, I know you have a freakish amount of strength, but I assure you—”

“We’re not gonna go out that far,” Kalluto finished for her. 

Alluka tossed him another rock and he caught it easily. “Now, try that again. Nicer this time.” 

And Killua did just that (not without mocking Alluka a bit), and when the rock solidly bounced a few times, he gave a resolute nod. “Okay, the ice seems thick enough to skate safely, however,” he paused and whirled around to narrow his eyes at his younger siblings. “Be safe and don’t disappear into the horizon.”

“Got it!” Kalluto said, barely keeping his excitement down.

“Roger that, commander,” Alluka responded in her ridiculous deep voice. Killua gave them a fond eyeroll and ushered them onto the lake.

Kalluto didn’t need to hear another word. He stepped onto the ice with practiced ease and glided forward. He could count on one hand how many times he’d gone ice skating.

It was once for a mission with the Troupe. It just so happened that their target owned a skating rink and playing on the ice was an unexpected bonus. He wondered what they were up to now.

He shook his head and spun around. Alluka clapped and Killua whistled.

“Do a flip!” Killua called out, stepping onto the ice.

“A flip?!” Alluka cried out incredulously.

“I don’t know if I could do one just yet,” Kalluto thought to himself. Killua maneuvered himself so that he was sliding behind Kalluto.

“I bet I could,” he whispered.

And just like that another competition began.

After several turns and attempted flips, the competition ended in a tie. Simply because no one could land a successful flip without ending up on their bottom and sliding along the ice. So after a few newly-earned bruises, they settled on skating amongst themselves. 

Kalluto ended up going a little further out than his siblings to try out some new tricks. He did make sure to not go off into the horizon , at least that’s what he had intended.

It was during his second attempt at skating backwards when he caught sight of the original rock Killua had thrown. It was a little ways out, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. He looked toward his siblings and watched as Killua spun Alluka around. 

For a moment, he thought against it. Grabbing it was silly and there wasn’t really a point to getting a wet rock. Plus, it wasn’t anything special. 

He bit his lip and glanced between his siblings and the rock. 

Before he knew it, he was pushing forward, allowing himself to move further away from them until he stood over the rock. He leaned down and picked it up, examining the specks it had. It was pretty— Kalluto wiped off his hand— and wet. 

It was surprisingly wet for something that was on solid ice. He pocketed it anyway.

There was a shout from the shore and when Kalluto looked up, he realized how far he had moved from Killua and Alluka. They were nearly small dots in the distance as they waved at him. He couldn’t tell if they were panicking or not.

That’s when he heard it. Deafening cracks came from the ice beneath him. Oh— 

Oh no.

He stepped back and when he looked up to the shore, his siblings’ dots had stopped moving and seemed to be concerned. But that was neither here nor there, because the cracks followed him. 

His frantic steps came to a sudden halt when his skate caught in a crack. Then, he was falling back with a yelp and his head collided with the ice. He was met with blinding white as he plunged into the frigid water below. 

The initial shock of it all had his muscles tensing up. He inhaled on instinct when temperature sent a dangerous chill up his spine and to the tips of his fingers. His mind was racing, throbbing, and begging him to use his training and swim up — but there was something in the deep, dark water below that forced him to join it. 

It beckoned him and he sunk deeper and deeper into it.

He could only stare up as the necklace and scarf around his neck started to float up, up, and away. He wanted to reach for the necklace and beg for it to come back, so he did. His hand forced itself up toward the light— but it was so cold .

Suddenly, a hand reached from the light and wrapped itself around Kalluto’s wrist. It pulled Kalluto up so that an arm could wrap around his torso, then he was being dragged toward the light and placed onto the ice on the surface.

He let out a gasp, then went into a violent coughing fit. 

“Kalluto, are you okay?” Killua asked as he pushed his brother further onto the ice. 

“The–the necklace…” he whispered, not sure if Killua could hear him. Shivers racked up his body as he tried to get his breath back. He couldn’t tell if it was cold or hot or both. 

“Don’t worry, I got you,” Killua said as he scooped Kalluto up. 

The next moment passed in a haze filled with quick footsteps, clothes being peeled off, and blankets being placed on him. He couldn’t quite place when he decided to step out of reality, but he knew exactly when he returned to it.

Kalluto blinked once, then twice— and he was back. His body was warm, wonderfully so, and he was practically drowning under a sea of blankets. He could feel something wrapped around his head, so he raised a hand to touch whatever it was. A bandage.

He moved that same hand to feel for the necklace to find that nothing was there. His face contorted into a frown. The darkness consumed it.

Someone shifted on his right and when he looked over, Alluka was laying on the floor beside him sleeping. He peeked to his left and saw that Killua was doing the same. 

The cabin was dark, signaling that the day had gone and passed. How long had he been sitting here, staring into the fire? He hoped he hadn’t ruined their entire day. 

Alluka let out a sleepy sigh and rolled over, revealing the paper they’d purchased the day before. Kalluto’s eyebrows raised. Was she waiting for him to wake up?

He whipped around to Killua. Had they both been waiting for him? 

Kalluto took in a shaky breath and reached for the paper, sliding it in front of him. There weren’t that many colors and he was missing a few of his tools, but—

He slid out a white piece of paper and started to bend it into the shape he wanted. He creased, folded, and tore the paper. Before he knew it, he was onto the second and third figures, pink and black paper respectively. And when he finished the fourth and final one, made from purple paper, he let out a relieved breath.

It was a family of cats. They each represented a member of his family. He had hesitated on making the smallest one, because he wasn’t sure if his cat would fit in. But when he stared at his three older siblings in cat form and in person, he found himself fitting in just fine.

Slowly rising to his feet, he allowed the blankets to crumple to the floor. Careful not to wake his siblings or crush his project, he made his way upstairs. 

If he was being completely honest, he was feeling overwhelmed. Emotions swirled around him and thick clouds that made it hard to think. 

He pushed open his bedroom door and shut the door behind him. Three steps in, he paused and inhaled sharply. 

Resting on his nightstand was the rock in its white and gray speckled glory. A part of him wanted to crumple under the guilt because was the rock worth it? 

A necklace for a rock that would remind him of the darkness under the lake. Was it truly worth it? 

Kalluto ignored it and slipped into bed, wanting to forget about the day entirely. The mattress enveloped him, sinking his body into the foam. What was once so inviting now made his heart want to beat out of his chest. 

He took deep breaths, ignoring how claustrophobic he was starting to feel, and willed himself to sleep. 

Kalluto didn’t know when the switch from consciousness to slumber happened, but before he knew it, he was standing on the ice.

The wind blew through him, forcing shivers to run up his spine violently. He was in his pajamas— shorts and a t-shirt— and horribly barefoot on the ice. He hugged his body tightly while trying to keep himself upright. 

His toes were frozen and he could feel his fingers following suit. His eyes traveled down to the ice below him, then slowly widened. The rock was there, between his feet. The moment the universe realized he had caught wind of it, the ice started to crack under him.

Fear shot through him like ice— god, no pun intended. He backed up as the cracks followed him in sudden jolts. 

It was no use.

His frozen toes held no grip on the slippery surface and he fell onto his bottom. All he could do was kick out in fear as the cracks followed him. He wanted to cry out— to tell it to leave him alone, but it was no use. 

The ice gave way from under him and he was being yanked into the near-freezing waters. He thrashed around, pathetically trying to find a hold on something— anything. As he sank into the deep waters, he let out a muffled yell when a dark hand reached from the bottomless depths of the lake and grabbed his ankle. 

He kicked and kicked, but the darkness wanted him. 

‘Kalluto-chan, come here,’ his mother’s voice reverberated from the depths and made him freeze. What was she doing down there? He fearfully looked down to see his mother’s visor glowing a vibrant, angry red. ‘Kalluto-chan!’

No. No. No. 

His panicked thrashing became useless because— because he couldn’t breathe. His heart pumped for all that it was worth, but he still couldn’t breathe. He shook his head and another hand grabbed his other ankle.

He didn’t want to go. His mother wanted him back— the darkness wanted him back but he didn’t want to go.

He didn’t want to go!— 

The strangled gasp Kalluto released had him up and out of the bed. He hit the floor and rolled as far away from the mattress as possible, because he’d be damned if he let the darkness take him.

Yet, the darkness surrounded him in waves and he feared that it had already got him— that his mother had got him. 

His breathing was wild as he blindly searched for her— the threat. He couldn’t calm his mind nor his heart. His fingers sharpened to a point as he backed himself into a corner.

He wanted out. He wanted the darkness to leave him alone. He wanted his mother to go away. He wouldn’t let her take him back—

The door slammed open and Killua stood in the doorway with his hatsu flared up. Lightning danced around him as he searched the room for the threat. When his eyes landed on Kalluto’s trembling form, his gaze softened slightly. 

“Kalluto? What happened? Did something attack you?” He asked, flipping on the light. His hatsu died down as he took a step forward.

Kalluto’s back hit the wall as he recoiled from his brother. “No— no, I don’t— I don’t want to—” he shook his head frustratedly as the words failed him. They didn’t make sense and he suddenly didn’t understand what he was afraid of.

The darkness was gone, his mom was gone. He wasn’t on the ice anymore. Why was he so freaked out? 

Was this even about falling into the lake? Everyone knew the Zoldyck children had been through so much worse. 

The realization of his fear had him inhaling a shaky breath, before he slid to the ground. Tears blurred his vision. Being forced to return to a place where he was unhappy with himself and the people around him scared him more than he realized. Returning to the darkness—

He gasped as the tears began to pour out. Killua’s eyes widened and he rushed over. “I–I don’t want to go back, brother. Why won’t she leave me alone?” Kalluto whined. 

Killua bent down and wrapped his arms around Kalluto protectively. “Who?”

“Mom. She wants me to come back— I know she does,” he sniffled. “That’s why she’s still in my dreams.” 

“That old hag? She couldn’t have you even if she tried. Never in a million years.”

“Then why do I still hear her voice in my head? It’s like she already has me.”

Killua paused, pressing his cheek on the top of Kalluto’s head. “I don’t think the voices will ever go away… they just get quieter.”

When Kalluto didn’t say anything, Killua continued in a whisper. “I still hear Aniki’s voice in my head. Sometimes he’s the loudest in my dreams, but when I wake up, I know he’s not there. Even if he was, there was nothing he could do to me.”

“So… she’ll eventually be quieter, right?”

“She will. I promise.”

“Okay.”

It didn’t take long for Alluka to come racing up the stairs to see her brothers huddled together. She immediately joined them when she saw how puffy Kalluto’s eyes were. She really wanted to ask, but Killua shook his head.

Okay, she could work with that. “Toto, I saw the cats you made downstairs. They’re so cute,” she whispered. 

Killua joined in. “They’re supposed to be us right?” Kalluto nodded and he continued. “Then you definitely made me the best one.”

“Hey! Nanika and I are the best ones, brother! We’re the cutest ones,” she said as she playfully pushed him. Killua shook his head and gave a counterargument. She could hear Kalluto’s soft laugh as they bickered.

She felt that familiar tug and paused. “Nanika says that Baby ‘lluto is the cutest one. And I think I agree!”

“I think we’re all the cutest ones,” Kalluto declared. The light had returned to his eyes when he made his declaration. It made her smile— but she couldn’t hold back the yawn that came forward. 

“Maybe we should get back to bed,” Killua said as he brought them all to their feet. Kalluto stubbornly held on to her and Killua’s sleeves.

“Um… can you guys stay with me?” he asked gently. Alluka’s smile returned in full force. 

“Yes! Mini slumber party!” She pumped a fist into the air. “We’ll sleep now and party in the morning! Snacks, movies, and board games!” She nudged Kalluto. “ Then, we can have a rematch for the dancing queen!”

Her brothers nodded at her with grins on their faces. She clapped her hands together and ushered them to bed.

“ Ooh! I can’t wait!” she said as she slipped into the bed first. Her mind was already coming up with a schedule they could follow and a few pranks she and Kalluto could do since Killua would be the last one to wake. 

Kalluto squeezed into the middle and she immediately wrapped her arms around him. She hoped that if she hugged him tight enough, the bad dreams would back off (or else face her big sister wrath). 

When Killua finally got in, they all got comfortable. It was somewhat a tight fit, but they didn’t mind. 

Eventually, a pleasant silence passed over them as they slowly fell asleep. Alluka was sure she was asleep when she heard three words she had wished to hear from Kalluto all those years ago. 

⟢⟡⟣

“I love you guys,” Kalluto whispered into the open air. 

He was laying in the middle (aka youngest privileges) and surrounded by love. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d been comforted after a nightmare and his siblings had done it so willingly. It made tears prick at his eyes as the love warmed his heart.

They had even fought the darkness for him and stayed to make sure it didn’t come back. It was enough to make the three forbidden words fall from his lips.

If it weren’t for Alluka squeezing him tighter and Killua’s sudden intake of air, he would’ve thought they didn’t hear him. 

Immediately, another pair of arms were being wrapped around him and he was being smothered in affection.

“We love you too, Kalluto,” Alluka and Killua said in unison.

It was then that the fireworks exploded into the sky in some other part of the world, but they were nothing compared to the ones that filled Kalluto’s dreams that night. 

⟢ ♡ ⟣

“I don’t think I’m a guy,” Kalluto said as the three of them trekked through some random city. He had grown taller in the two years they spent together and his hair was much longer. It wouldn’t be long before he surpassed Alluka, though it was a close race. 

Alluka let out an exasperated sigh. “I could’ve told you that!” Her twin braids swung around as she whipped her head around to Killua, who was smugly staring at her.

“You’ll get your money later, you pea-brain!” Alluka snarked.

“Don’t be mad at me for guessing right! Denial runs strong in this family,” Killua said simply. Alluka gave him a not-so-nice gesture and Killua gasped in offense.

Kalluto looked between them and let out his own exasperated sigh.

Siblings.

⟢ ♡ ⟣