Chapter Text
14th February
Ever since the infected roamed their earth, it became harder and harder to remember the dates to the point that majority of the survivors would only be able to separate them into the seasons; Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter.
But then there are people like Tatsumi, who could still remember the exact date all the way back when everything changed.
So Tatsumi knew today was Valentine’s Day.
Then again, everyone in Ensen knew it was Valentine’s Day due to the yelling of one Subaru, wishing everyone a happy valentine while giving out random snacks in place of sweet chocolate. It was an amusing sight to see Anzu frantically chase the redhead as he practically invaded everyones’ space. Even Keito had given up on trying to subdue the situation and went back to work.
Still, the reminder of Valentine made Tatsumi recall his youth, before his life changed forever.
Being in an all-boys school prior to the apocalypse, there weren't any female students to gift their crushes on the day itself with either chocolates, sweets or a love letter. But even with that, some of the boys would give each other chocolates as a way to show their friendship to one another, even if they joked about not having girlfriends.
Tatsumi had chocolates gifted to him by his male classmates, and vice versa. They lamented not being able to have a girl give them chocolates but Tatsumi never understood the appeal.
If anything, he would rather be gifted something else other than chocolates. While walking back home, he had been sought out by his female acquaintances from church, giving him chocolates and letters. Fortunately for Tatsumi, they knew that their relationship is just meant to be platonic but simply wanted to show their gratitude for him, but there would be one or two girls that would try their luck. Needless to say, seeing them for the next Sunday mass was awkward.
Perhaps he had taken the day of love for granted, with all the chocolate and pink papers more of an indulgence than a commodity.
Valentine’s Day is a day for couples, but in Tatsumi’s world, it’s a day of love between friends and family. In the apocalypse, it’s a day to truly show how much you care for the people you hold close.
He was working in the garden today, the rhythmic action of digging into the soil and pulling the weeds, allowing him to think of a plan to spend the day with his roommates.
However, the only one he could think about was Mayoi.
… In all honesty, he has been thinking about Mayoi a lot lately. Perhaps too many times that would be considered normal.
Mayoi has only been around for a couple of months but he had joined their group seamlessly (or as seamless as it can be, considering he hid in the ceiling for weeks.) What used to be just three, turned into four, and Tatsumi wouldn’t have it any other way.
He helped care for the boys, helped to keep Aira company when Tatsumi can’t. He helped Hiiro with his homework, too. The small chores that Tatsumi had in his list, they were done by Mayoi in secret and Tatsumi can’t help but be grateful with how caring he was.
So of course, he needed a way to show that gratitude to Mayoi on Valentine’s. Nothing more, nothing less. Just showing how grateful Tatsumi was to Mayoi’s continuous care. That’s it.
From the time he had known Mayoi, he learned that he liked anything grape-flavored. From sweets to wine, though Tatsumi deduced Mayoi missed the fruit itself. Due to how scarce food is, especially for fruits and vegetables, grapes aren’t all that common anymore. They had only started growing grapes recently, but they aren’t able to produce any fruit. So getting Mayoi home-grown grapes is out of the question.
Mayoi also likes dioramas, which Tatsumi thought was cute as well as impressive. There’s a shelf near their bunk bed that has all of Mayoi’s creations. Usually, they’re just made of scrap materials they found but there will be an occasional doll furniture that Hiiro would stumble across during scavenging, or Aira would find when searching through the junk storage.
But chances of Tatsumi finding anything impressive within a day is low, and they were already going to help him with his hobby, so it wouldn’t be so special to be a Valentine’s gift.
What else… What else…
“A-Ah! Tatsumi-san?”
Tatsumi blinked when he heard his name being called, his heart stopping for a split moment as he was pulled out of his thoughts and came back to reality. Looking up, he saw two young women standing near him, one of them holding what looked to be a present wrapped in newspaper. Though in her defense, the present did have a pink ribbon around it. Creative.
He swiped the dirt off his hands as he stood up to full height. He caught one of them looking flustered as Tatsumi practically towered over the two shorter women. Tatsumi knew one of them; the one holding the present is Natsumi as she was his junior in helping out the gardens. But the other he had only seen in passing and never got the pleasure of knowing her name.
“Yes? May I help you?” Tatsumi politely asked, somewhere deep in his mind he knew where this was going.
Natsumi offered the present to him with trembling hands, but her smile was genuine. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Tatsumi-san!”
“A-Ah, thank you, Natsumi-chan. But I’m afraid I-”
“Oh! No i-it’s not like that!” Natsumi was quick to rush out. “I just wanted to show my appreciation to you today… You were always patient with me and worked hard, too!”
Tatsumi internally sighed in relief. At least he did not have to break a poor girl’s heart today. He has to focus on getting Mayoi a gift.
“But we want to ask you a question, if you don’t mind?” The other girl piped up, her voice loud. Natsumi sputtered something as she practically dug her elbow to the girl’s side, as if telling her to shut up. Tatsumi patiently waited for them to calm down, but he can’t help but feel like he won’t like what the question was going to be. Still, it wouldn’t be polite to brush them off.
“So!” The girl continued, much to Natsumi’s embarrassment. “You’re roommates with Ayase-kun, yes?”
Somewhere deep within his gut, something brewed horribly. But Tatsumi remained smiling, polite, as he nodded. “Why, yes. Is there something you need for him?”
“Do you know if he’s seeing anyone?”
At that, the smile immediately dropped, replacing it with shock at how blunt the question was. His reaction seemed to be enough for Natsumi to berate her friend for asking in the first place, allowing Tatsumi a few seconds to recollect his thoughts.
No, Mayoi is not seeing anyone.
… At least, he thinks so. If Mayoi was actually seeing someone, there’s no reason for Mayoi to tell any of them. It’s his own personal life, after all. But the thought of Mayoi actually having a significant other made Tatsumi feel sick in his stomach. Something else was also brewing inside but he dare not name it.
“Mayoi-san isn’t seeing anyone.” Tatsumi ended up saying. There was no point lying. But then again, he doesn’t feel good about telling this girl he doesn’t know about Mayoi’s relationship status. Mayoi probably has no idea who this girl is, too.
There was a squeak of excitement, and at that point Tatsumi finally excused himself as he went to the basins to wash the dirt off. Although the conversation had ended, Tatsumi’s mind was occupied as he scrubbed his hands roughly.
Of course, he should have known that Mayoi would have admirers in Ensen, too. He’s attractive, caring, and very good with a blade. Since his return, he started making some kind of reputation for himself as being one of the best scavengers. Such compliments made Tatsumi’s chest swell in pride as he knew how much Mayoi tends to look down on himself, so for others to see what he saw in him, Mayoi would then be able to see how much he deserved the praise.
However, he failed to realize that perhaps some people would form a crush on him. Again, he’s attractive, but the thought of people actually liking Mayoi in that way never crossed his mind…
It should make him feel guilty, since his thoughts would imply that he didn’t think Mayoi was datable when Mayoi deserves someone to love and be loved by them just like anyone else. But it didn’t- if anything, Tatsumi never thought about that , either. So what was happening?
… Did he think Mayoi was going to stay with him until the foreseeable future?
The realization made Tatsumi blush as he finally stopped washing his hands, realizing how red his skin had become. He dried his hands on his own shirt, and seeing as he was done for the day, decided to walk over to the designated building for junk items. Maybe he could find something for Mayoi while he battled his inner thoughts.
Except along the way, he stumbled upon Kuro who was carrying two boxes in his arms, the height reaching above his head due to the scale of it. It didn’t seem like Kuro was struggling, but Tatsumi immediately made his way to the male, merely giving a brief greeting to announce his presence before taking the top box from his pile. To his surprise, the box nearly weighed nothing.
“Ah, Kazehaya-san.” Kuro looked surprised but other than that, his expression didn’t waver than his usual ‘gruffness’. “Thanks for the help, though I didn’t really need it. It’s very light as you can tell.”
“Yea, but my body moved before I could think.” Tatsumi admitted sheepishly. He was grateful for the redhead’s sudden appearance, though. It distracted him from his conflicting feelings. “What are these boxes for?”
“They’re just some old arts and crafts things that Anzu-chan ended up finding in the admin building’s storage room. Dunno’ why it’s there but I figured I’d bring it to the workshop.”
By workshop, he meant his own little studio to work on his own personal projects.
“Though the box you’re carrying is actually filled with old stuff toys.”
“Stuff… toys?” Tatsumi repeated, looking down at the box he was carrying. Kuro started walking then, and Tatsumi followed his pace.
“Mhm. Most of them are torn or have seen better days, but I’m thinking of restoring them so we can give them to the kids. But there’s at least one or two that still looked usable. I haven’t checked inside properly.”
If there’s another thing that Tatsumi knows about Mayoi, is that he likes cute things. Or anything cute. He was reminded of a single stuff toy on Mayoi’s bed that he found while scavenging and immediately hoarded for himself. It was a cute bunny one, too.
“Kiryu-san, I don’t suppose you mind if I take a look at the toys, yes?”
Kuro snorted. They finally reached a small garage located at the side of some building near the residence. They entered, and Tatsumi spotted a knitting machine on the workstation. There are even mannequins at the side with bits of fabric stuck onto them using pins at various levels of completion. There was also a shelf filled with rolls of fabric, a box with even more fabric, and a closed closet (though he deduced its where he store his finished creations).
“Knock yourself out. You’ve been helping me with the clothes for years now before you moved jobs. It’s most likely I’ll just scrap them for their materials, so go crazy.”
With permission, Tatsumi placed the box down on the floor while Kuro went to the shelf to store the materials. He plopped down on the floor, too, his legs crossed as if a kid opening his Christmas presents. When he flipped the box open, Tatsumi was greeted with the sight of various stuff toys of different designs and themes. Like what Kuro had mentioned, most of them seemed to be torn. One toy was even missing a whole limb.
He was gentle to not accidentally damage the toys further as he searched through the contents. They were all cute, adorable even. Maybe he can find one for Aira, too? Although he already had a gift for both Aira and Hiiro, and who knows, maybe Hiiro would find a stuff toy to give for Aira while he’s currently out on his scavenging run.
The toys are cute, but none resembles ‘Mayoi’. It made Tatsumi a little frustrated. Knowing Mayoi, he would likely take whatever toy Tatsumi would give him (after maybe denying it), but he wanted it to be special. Now he berated himself for deciding to find a Valentine’s Day gift on the actual day.
“The toy’s for Valentine, right?”
Tatsumi hummed in confirmation, still searching through the box.
“Heh. I would ask if it’s for Aira-kun but seeing how determined you are, maybe it’s for Ayase-san?”
It’s said as a question, but Tatsumi felt himself tense up anyway, as if Kuro had uttered a secret that only Tatsumi knows. Except it wasn’t really a secret- there wasn’t anything to hide about wanting to show his appreciation to his dear friend. If Kuro noticed his strange behavior, he didn’t say anything.
“Yes, it is for Mayoi-san.” Tatsumi said evenly after a while. “I’m hoping to find him a gift.”
“That guy would probably like anything you give him.”
“That’s the problem.” Tatsumi sighed loudly, making Kuro chuckle at the amusing sight. However, his brief of displeasure was gone the moment he laid his eyes on something inside the box, and he greedily reached for it with his hand. Feeling his fingers on his prize, he held onto it before pulling it out of the box.
It was a deep purple stuff toy that resembles a bunny, yet it also has bat wings at the back. However, it’s missing a left leg, a button eye, and a right arm. It’s a sad sight to look, in all honesty, but this toy spoke to Tatsumi more than he thought he would.
“That looked like it’s seen better days.” Kuro commented, eyeing the toy like what Tatsumi has done.
“You’re right. However, I think this is the one.”
“I hope you aren’t actually going to give it to him with two of its limbs missing.”
A huff that resembled a laugh escaped Tatsumi as he reached inside the box again. “I’ll just repair it using the other toys.”
“I didn’t think you’re capable of being morbid over stuff toys.”
“Haha.”
“... Do you even know how to stitch up toys?”
“...”
“Man.” Kuro shook his head, less of disappointment and more of exasperation. “Y’know what, if you can find the limbs to replace, I’ll do the stitching and fix it up for ya.”
“Oh! You don’t have to-”
“Kinda want to.”
Tatsumi went quiet after that, realizing that Kuro wasn’t going to budge, and that he had his own reasons for being insistent about it. Did he get rejected or something? It was none of Tatsumi’s business, so he accepted Kuro’s help and searched through the box again.
He found a yellow button to replace the eye, though it was much smaller in size. He also found a red arm that seemed to actually match both the texture and size of the original, just with the added brown pads that resembled bear paws. After a little searching, he also found a leg that roughly matched the length of the original, too. However, the texture is different to the touch, and the stuffing seemed a little too stiff compared to the rest. But it shall do.
The items were then passed to Kuro, who waved him off and told him to come back in an hour.
Not wanting to return to the dorm just yet, Tatsumi took his time walking around, letting the chill of the season cool him down. Everywhere he looked, there always seemed to be a couple hanging out or young teenagers admitting their crushes in discrete areas. It was cute, it made it feel like everything was normal despite the outside dangers.
The day was nearing its end, but not too late that the sun was going down. He hoped that both Mayoi and Hiiro had returned home safely. He wondered where Aira was-
“Tattsu-san!!!”
Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Tatsumi mused as he caught sight of a familiar blonde practically sprinting across the yard in order to meet up with him. He walked forward, being patient as he met with Aira who was panting hard, his hair a mess and his cheeks red.
“D-Do you know where I can find gift boxes?!?!”
This was a rare sight of Aira in a state of panic that does not warrant Tatsumi the usual worry. If anything, it amused him.
“How come you need a gift box?” Tatsumi asked anyway, indirectly goading Aira to reveal more information that would tell him the context. Aira’s smart enough to notice Tatsumi’s intentions, but he was probably on borrowed time with how he kept on hopping in place, unable to stand still.
“I- I need a box because I want to give someone a gift! That’s it!”
“Uh huh?”
“......... OKAY FINE IT’S HIIRO-KUN!”
Tatsumi held back his laughter as he noticed the redness filling Aira’s cheeks. He decided to spare him the trouble, and helped to direct Aira to someone he knew had an absurd amount of boxes they refused to throw away, but it helped for occasions like this.
Aira bid him goodbye, with Tatsumi doing the same. He wondered what Aira got for Hiiro.
Years ago, it was just the two of them gifting each other for the day. There wasn’t really a reason for either of them to celebrate the occasion, considering neither had a significant other, but it was Aira that barrelled towards him on their first Valentines together, giving him a small wrapped present- it was an old journal written by a Christian during the first year of the apocalypse. It was an odd thing to be gifted- especially because Aira was only nine years at the time- but he appreciated it nonetheless. Tatsumi only had chocolate on hand to give back, but Aira seemed happy about it nonetheless.
Since then, they try to keep the tradition of giving gifts when the day comes. There will be some years when they will forget, and make up for it the following week. It didn’t change when Hiiro came along- and now, it will be the first Valentine they would celebrate with the addition of Mayoi.
Tatsumi never particularly cared so much about Valentine’s Day, but this year it felt different. He wasn’t sure what made it different exactly, but knowing that Mayoi would be there… His heart skipped a beat. There’s a sense of embarrassment at the thought of Hiiro and Aira being present while he gave the toy to Mayoi. A toy that may or may not be deliberately made in a way that has all of their motifs inside for Mayoi to cuddle with at night.
It felt too intimate, he realized. In previous years it was simply just a day to enjoy and show their appreciation for one another. But with Mayoi, the energy entirely shifted into something else.
… Oh god, it suddenly felt like he was in the position of those highschool girls giving gifts to their boy of interest.
Was it something like that? Is this why it felt so different?
Sure, maybe Mayoi is different than any man he met but it doesn’t necessarily mean he-
Oh for fucks sake who was he kidding, he has a little crush on Mayoi. Who wouldn’t? The man was gorgeous as if someone had sculpted out a Greek god! His hair is long and luscious, meticulously braided in such a way that defined his features more while at the same time staying true to his character. And that thin, black ribbon that he always used to tie his hair with- just one pull and it would all unravel. He had to pull himself away from actually doing it multiple times.
His eyes were in the shade fluctuating between blue and green, but never really the other. On some days it even matches the color of his own hair. What’s even better, is that Mayoi’s shade of hair is similar to his own eyes and if that isn’t a sign that God had sent down an angel just for him, he doesn’t know what will-
Mayoi is also so, so kind and he always helps out those around him, even if he had to do it in the shadows due to his nervousness around other people. Even if he constantly apologized for his intrusive and more often than not perverted thoughts, Tatsumi knew he was more than that. He had seen it in action more times than he could count with his ten fingers.
He cares so much about Hiiro and Aira and it warmed Tatsumi’s heart, because he knew that he doesn’t have to be alone looking after the boys. He has someone now, someone he could depend on to keep them safe.
… Perhaps he may be having more than just a ‘crush’... But still, it’s just a crush. That’s all.
Tatsumi paused in his step when he felt something touch his nose. Looking up, he noticed that the sky had darkened, and that snow was falling. The chill around him went down a few more degrees and he shivered.
… Even if it’s just a crush, for a day like today, maybe he can indulge in his wants a little more. It’s rather selfish of him, but Tatsumi can’t afford to lose Mayoi. He can’t afford to lose a part of himself more, if it ever comes the time they have to separate for any reason.
But for the day meant for love, he let himself have his wants.
The toy was perfect. Much to Tatsumi’s amusement, Kuro had added a small teal bow around its neck. The overall color palette is a mess, but it’s still quite adorable to look at. The toy was hidden in a tote bag Tatsumi lent from Kuro as he made his way back to the room. No doubt the others would be there already, perhaps Aira and Hiiro would be telling Mayoi about their Valentine’s Day tradition.
To his surprise, however, there wasn’t anyone inside the room despite the lateness. Tatsumi didn’t dwell on his worry for too long when he noticed a note placed on the desk.
In Aira’s handwriting, written quickly, he said he would be back later than usual with Hiiro. That was it, but the implications made Tatsumi smile. If anything, this was a blessing and he thanked god that he gave him this chance of being able to give Mayoi his gift without the embarrassment of having others see him do it.
“Mayoi-san, you can come out.”
There was a cute squeak coming from the ceiling, and Tatsumi smiled to himself. It was getting easier and easier to tell if Mayoi was in the room or not. Slowly, the ceiling panel was moved and he watched as Mayoi slowly dropped himself on top of the bunk bed, before putting the panel back into place.
“H-H-Hi!” Mayoi managed to say through his stuttering. “I-I-I- U-Uh-!!”
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Tatsumi ended up saying first. He wanted to ease into it slowly, but something about seeing Mayoi in a stuttering mess made him more courageous than before. It was really cute, and even with how nervous Mayoi seemed, Tatsumi can sense Mayoi wanted to celebrate the day with him, too.
Tatsumi sat on his own bed while Mayoi remained on the top bunk. He didn’t want to overwhelm Mayoi so much. “I got you a gift.” He said, taking the tote bag and lifting it up for Mayoi to take. He felt the bag gone from his hand, and he waited as he strained his ears to hear everything happening above him.
There was a confused noise, before it developed into happy squeaks as Mayoi struggled to formulate words. Tatsumi closed his eyes, smiling. He can imagine the expression Mayoi was making as he looked over the doll in its entirety, his face brightened up while he struggled to keep his smile down. Of course, it would be nice if Tatsumi could see the expression for himself, but this was fine, too.
Mayoi’s comfort is his top priority, after all.
“W-Where did you get this?!” Mayoi asked from above.
So Tatsumi retold Mayoi where he had gotten the toy from. Though even with the explanation, Tatsumi could tell Mayoi wasn’t listening, too enamored with the toy to divert some of the attention to Tatsumi’s words. He didn’t mind, if anything it only made him feel more warmer knowing that the gift was well received.
Eventually, though, there was some shuffling as well as the sound of the ceiling panel being shifted. Curiosity ran through Tatsumi but he held himself still until Mayoi unceremoniously hopped down from the top bunk, ignoring the ladder entirely as he now sat beside Tatsumi with a shy but happy smile on his face.
“I- I got you something, too!” Mayoi said, and already that was enough for Tatsumi to blush a little. Did Mayoi also get him something special on such a day?
No- he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Maybe it’s a gift that would be similar to what he would give to Aira and Hiiro and-
“I-It actually took me weeks to be able to get my hands on this… B-But I think you would like it!”
The fact that Mayoi actually spent weeks getting a gift just for Tatsumi on Valentine’s Day -
Now it made him all the more guilty that the toy was just a spur on the moment. Still, his curiosity overtook his guilt as Mayoi then passed Tatsumi a decent size box. It was wrapped in two different styles of wrapping paper, the need for it so it can wrap all around the gift. There’s even a red ribbon on top.
It felt like he was holding a precious jewel with the box in hand. Despite the size, it didn’t feel that heavy…
Slowly, he peeled the wrapper away. He could feel Mayoi’s eyes watching his every movement with bated breath, which only made him a little nervous. However, as the gift opened itself more, Tatsumi recognized the item and his excitement suddenly took over, tearing itself until the gift finally revealed itself.
It was a whole box of black tea packets.
“I- I heard from Aira-kun that you like black tea… Butit’sokayifyoudon’tlikeitatallreallyIdon’tmindohgodI’msosorryit’ssuchastupidgiftIshouldn’thavedoneitI’msosorry-”
Tatsumi was stuck in his gaze with only Mayoi’s rambling filling the noise. Realizing, yet again, that Mayoi spent weeks on finding this, something snapped in him.
Mayoi shrieked when arms suddenly wrapped themselves around his neck, Tatsumi burying his head on his shoulder. His worry of whether he had frightened Mayoi off was immediately replaced by pain coming from his injured leg. With how sudden his hug was, especially with how they were initially sitting side to side, it did put Tatsumi in an awkward position. The sudden movement must have pulled something.
“A-Ah hold on!”
Mayoi slinked off from his arms and down to the floor, in front of where Tatsumi’s aching leg was. Admittedly, Tatsumi nearly lost all oxygen in his lungs when Mayoi placed his hands on his leg. Both because Mayoi is touching me and also because shit that hurt -
But Mayoi’s hands knew what they were doing, as he gently massaged the muscle on his leg. Sometime after, the pain reduced until nothing was left and Tatsumi was able to breathe easily.
“If I had known you could do massages, I would have asked for your help way earlier.” Tatsumi joked. It seemed that his voice manage to bring Mayoi back to reality, and he started apologizing profusely once more, but Tatsumi didn’t quite have the energy to respond. Instead, he placed his hand on top of Mayoi’s head as if there’s a button to make him stop talking.
Fortunately for him, Mayoi did pause, looking up at Tatsumi with wide eyes that it made the former priest think for the first time;
I think I might be in love with you.
Such thoughts should’ve made him scared. But looking into his eyes, he didn’t seem all that worried anymore. So he used the same hand to pull Mayoi into a hug- or as much as it can be with how they are positioned. Mayoi made a confused sound but Tatsumi didn’t seem to hear it, only aware of the loud beating of his heart as well as the touch of Mayoi’s hair, telling him that he’s right there, he’s right there.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mayoi-san.” Tatsumi whispered, digging his face further into his shoulder.
Mayoi went still for a moment, but he felt a hand placed over his back, and Tatsumi relaxed into his hold, as if it was telling him, everything’s gonna be okay.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Tatsumi-san.”