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Nagisa was always quite popular with their peers. It was only logical, after all, Nagisa was outgoing, friendly, and charismatic. One would be hard pressed to find a student without a positive opinion of Nagisa, Rei suspected. So it wasn’t a surprise when the new student took an interest in him.
She seemed like a nice enough girl. She rarely spoke in class, and when she did she was difficult to hear. It bothered Rei that their teacher never required her to speak up or repeat herself, not that he would admit it of course. She was quiet, perhaps, but nice enough.
Rei actually hadn’t paid her too much mind when she had transferred into their class.
But she and Nagisa had gotten rather chummy.
With the swim season over, Rei had anticipated continuing to spend his afternoons with Nagisa. Nagisa had certainly made great improvements in his academic performance in recent months, but these gains coincided with Rei assisting in his study efforts. Eliminating these study sessions could lead to a relapse, so to speak, and a decline in Nagisa’s scores. Cessation was simply illogical.
However, Nagisa was rarely available.
It seemed that every time Rei attempted to make plans, Nagisa would politely bow out. He made vague excuses. (“Sorry Rei-chan, but there’s some stuff I gotta take care of.”) He dodged questions about his whereabouts. (“Sorry Rei-chan, but I’m in a hurry. We’ll talk later, ‘kay?”) He even switched seats to sit next to her. (“I gotta focus more in class, right? It’ll be hard for me to get away with sleepin’ in the front row. Besides, I thought you’d be glad I couldn’t bug ya during lectures anymore!”)
Rei was concerned that Nagisa was slacking on his study regime.
That was the reason he was currently standing at the door of the Hazuki household. It had absolutely nothing to do with Rei missing Nagisa. Or his laugh. Or the way he invaded Rei’s personal space. Or the way he fell asleep on Rei on the train ride home. Or the weird nausea that sometimes bubbled up when Nagisa left with her instead.
Rei took a deep breath to compose himself and rang the doorbell.
“I’ll get it!” he heard Nagisa shout from inside the house. Rei adjusted his glasses to busy his hands. He took a steadying breath and stood straighter as he heard footsteps race loudly to the door. Rei may have felt his heart stutter when Nagisa whipped open the door with a bright smile on his face. He wouldn’t admit to it though. Nor would he admit to the way his stomach dropped as Nagisa’s excitement faded into confusion.
“Rei-chan?” Nagisa said uncertainly, blinking at his friend before him.
Rei had composed, and rehearsed, exactly what he had intended to say once he met with Nagisa. But all his careful planning fell away when Nagisa’s mother asked, “Is Emi-chan here already?”
Nagisa had been expecting their new classmate, Emi Hirano. And he was disappointed that Rei was at the door instead.
“Hello Rei-kun,” Nagisa’s mother said, only a hint of her confusion bleeding through. “Nagisa, why don’t you invite him inside.” Nagisa nodded absently, staring at Rei as he opened the door a bit wider. Rei looked away, blushing faintly and carefully slipped through the space Nagisa had created.
“Pardon the intrusion,” he mumbled as he entered the house. Nagisa closed the door behind him.
“Rei-chan, why are you-?” Nagisa’s voice grew soft as he reconsidered his words.
“I, um,” Rei fumbled for words, glancing around the room, very aware that Nagisa’s mother and possibly sister were listening to them. “Would it be alright if we spoke in your room?” he asked softly.
“Oh,” Nagisa said, looking as if he suddenly realized how nervous Rei was around his family. “Yeah, sure.” Nagisa walked towards the stairs, Rei following closely behind. “Mom, we’ll be upstairs,” he added needlessly. His mother nodded with a polite smile and the pair ascended the stairs.
Nagisa stopped outside of the door to his bedroom. He turned back to Rei and rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Is it okay if we talk out here? My room is kinda a disaster right now. I wasn’t really expecting visitors.”
“But Hirano-san…” Rei trailed off. Nagisa’s laughed nervously.
“Emi-chan’s coming over for dinner. There’s really no reason for her to come up here.” Nagisa suddenly sounded muffled. Nagisa had invited Hirano over for dinner.
“I should go,” Rei heard himself say. That sounded like a good plan. Rei took a step backwards but Nagisa grabbed his arm.
“Rei-chan,” Nagisa said softly, looking up at Rei with a mixture of confusion and worry. For a split second, Rei consider just bolting. Nagisa’s grip was loose. He could easily break free. And he was certainly faster on foot than Nagisa, so outrunning him wouldn’t be an issue. But putting on his shoes would slow him down some. And Rei would still have to see Nagisa at school and it was highly unlikely that Nagisa would let the matter drop. “What’s going on? Are you feeling okay?”
“I miss you,” Rei blurted out. His eyes widened as he realized what he just said and looked down in embarrassment.
“Rei-chan, what are you talking about? You just saw me at school!” Nagisa laughed.
“I see you at school, yes, but we never spend time together anymore. I-” Rei’s voice wavered slightly. “I miss that.” Nagisa’s face softened.
“I’m sorry, Rei-chan. I know I’ve been busy lately, but-”
“Is it that you do not wish to be friends?” Nagisa dropped Rei’s arm in surprise. Rei’s heart plummeted.
“Rei-chan, how-”
“I should have seen this coming.”
“Rei-chan, wait-” The lights seemed to flicker around the two of them. Rei heard the doorbell ring. “Right now?” Nagisa groaned.
“I understand that you do not wish to see me-”
“Wait, I never said-”
“But if I don’t say this now, I fear I will always regret it,” Rei explained, hands shaking slightly. Nagisa nodded slowly.
“It is reasonable to hypothesize these feelings have been established for a while now, though I cannot say for certain when they manifested. And, admittedly, I am realizing them rather belatedly and at quite possibly the most inopportune time. But-” Rei balled his hands into fists and his whole posture tensed. “Nagisa-kun, I harbor romantic feelings towards you. I appreciate that my feelings are not returned and I did not wish to create an air of discomfort between us. I am in no way suggesting that you choose between Hirano-san and myself. But-” Rei paused, noticing that Nagisa was mouthing something.
Rei’s brow furrowed as Nagisa’s hands moved swiftly in deliberate gestures that he could not decipher. He brought himself to look at Nagisa’s face and noticed that Nagisa’s gaze landed somewhere over his shoulder. He glanced over his shoulder as well and found himself looking at a very startled Hirano. Rei felt himself flush.
“I shall take my leave. I apologize for any discomfort I have caused.” Rei turned his back to Nagisa and started to walk away.
“Wait Rei-chan,” Nagisa asked, grabbing Rei by the arm. Rei stopped walking.
“I’ll go wait in the living room,” Hirano offered quietly. Rei almost missed the way her pronunciation was distorted. He wondered if she was ill or if she always spoke with such rounded sounds. Nagisa let go of Rei’s arm to gesture to Hirano as he nodded. She smiled back and waved in a dismissive gesture before turning to walk back downstairs. Rei stared at staircase, the dull ache in his chest growing stronger.
“You can’t just confess and run away Rei-chan,” Nagisa told him softly.
“And why not?” Rei asked angrily. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything after all. The heartbreak would remain either way, but at least then Nagisa wouldn’t have known anything was amiss.
“It doesn’t give me a chance to respond, for one,” Nagisa pointed out. Great. Now Nagisa was going to be walking on eggshells around him. Rei was already dreading the inevitable awkward swim practices and countless apologetic smiles from Nagisa. It was uncharacteristic for Nagisa to be so delicate when addressing him. He utterly destroyed everything. Their friendship would never again be anything like it was. God fucking dammit Rei.
“Nagisa-kun, there is no need for you to respond.” Rei pushed his glasses up to his forehead as he rubbed his eyes in frustration. “I know you never intended to lead me on with your friendship. And no matter how many times I tell myself that it is illogical for me to desire your friendship as anything deeper when you show clear interest in a female companion, I am still very much in love with you, Nagisa.” Had Rei been watching, he would have seen Nagisa’s mouth dropped open into a wide ‘O’. “So please, just let me depart and wallow in my unrequited love in solitude.”
“But it’s not,” Nagisa said after a moment. Rei slid his hand from his face to stare at Nagisa.
“Pardon?”
“It’s not unrequited,” Nagisa repeated seriously. Rei looked at Nagisa as if he had grown a second head.
“But- I- you- What?” he asked inelegantly.
“I love you too Rei-chan.”
“Sin-since when?”
“Since always?” Nagisa laughed a bit. “Well, okay, maybe that’s not quite true, but close enough. I’ve always like you Rei-chan.” Nagisa was beaming at him now. Rei felt his cheeks grow hot.
“But- but I thought that, that you liked-”
“I love you Rei-chan,” Nagisa repeated, stepping towards Rei. Rei stepped back instinctively.
“You can’t just say that so casually!” Rei lamented.
“Why not? You did.” Nagisa took another step towards Rei. Rei took another step back, backing into the wall.
“I- I did no such thing!” Rei stuttered. Nagisa grinned and took another step forward.
“Did too.‘I am still very much in love with you, Nagisa, darling,’” he mimicked.
“I know for a fact I did not say darling,” Rei argued with a huff.
“May as well have. You dropped the -kun and everything.” Nagisa took another step forward, leaving very little room between them. He poked Rei in the chest. “Sounds like you’re pretty into me if you’re dropping formalities.” Rei knew he was flushing redder and redder by the moment.
“But what about Hirano!” Rei cried, grasping for control of the conversation.
“Emi-chan? What about her?
“I thought you liked her!”
“Of course I-” Nagisa paused, suddenly understanding. “Ooooooh! You mean you thought I like like her!”
“Of course I did! You are constantly making time to meet with her.”
“I had no idea you were so jealous Rei,” Nagisa teased.
“You invited her over for dinner with your family!” Rei yelled, stunning Nagisa.
“Rei, I-”
“You have never invited me over for a meal with your family! What was I supposed to think?”
“Oh Rei,” Nagisa sighed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-” The hall lights flashed again, though this time it accompanied the ring of the telephone.
“You really ought to look into that flickering,” Rei suggested with a frown. “It is rather unusual for power surges to occur with such frequency.” Nagisa started laughing giddily, falling forward onto Rei’s chest.
“Those aren’t power surges Rei-chan.That’s just the telephone.”
“Yes, I heard the phone as well but did you not see the flashes Nagisa-kun? Those-”
“Are part of the telephone system.” Nagisa tried to calm himself down, but the absurdity of the whole afternoon was a lot to shake off. “There’s a much easier way to clear all this up,” he decided, rubbing at the tears streaming down his face. Nagisa grabbed Rei’s hands in his own and tugged. “Com’on. Let’s go introduce you to my family.” Rei allowed himself to be dragged down the stairs, slightly confused; he was quite certain he had met Nagisa’s family at Nationals. It had been a brief introduction, yes, but he had been introduced before Nagisa dragged him off to find Makoto and Haru.
Rei was surprised to find Nagisa’s sister Nanako sitting with Emi, the two laughing and gesturing frantically. Nagisa waved at both of them to grab their attention.
“Rei-chan was asking about the flashing lights,” Nagisa stated, as if that explained everything. And it apparently did, because his sister nodded and smiled. Nagisa dragged Rei into the room and stopped just in front of his sister. “Rei-chan, you remember my sister Nanako?” Rei nodded.
“Of course. It’s a pleasure to see you again Hazuki-san,” he greeted with a bow. Both Hazukis laughed.
“It’s a pleasure to see you as well Rei-chan,” she replied with a smile. Rei’s brow furrowed. Something about her speech was off in a way that was familiar. "I know we didn't have a chance to speak at length when we last met," she began slowly, her speech sounding almost slurred as it tumbled out like beach weathered glass, the sharp sounds eroded away. “I tend to be less… outgoing than my brother,” she laughed. Nagisa stuck his tongue out at his sister as he gestured wildly. Rei nodded slowly, failing to see what this had to do with flashing lights, but far too polite to accuse the Hazukis of stringing him along. “Okay, I can be outgoing. But I’m Deaf,” she explained, appearing to wave at her ear. Realization dawned over Rei. Sign language. He watched in fascination as Nanako continued to sign as she spoke. “Hearing people don’t always know what to do with an outgoing Deaf girl,” she joked, though Rei could sense underlying pain in her statement.
“I had no idea you were deaf Hazuki-san,” Rei said politely, shooting a look at Nagisa. Nagisa mouthed Sorry and presumably signed the sentiment as well. Or else he was just gesturing wildly. Judging from her facial expression, Nanako’s next sign was along the lines of ‘don’t worry about it’.
“I suspect my dear brother doesn’t talk about his sisters all that often when he’s with Rei-chan.” Hirano started giggling. Rei looked to her in confusion, wondering what he missed.
“Your name sign,” Hirano explained slowly, deliberately forming her words. Rei could hear now that her accent was stronger than Nanako’s. “It means beautiful.” Rei felt himself flushing as he looked over to Nagisa.
“I- I didn’t pick it!” Nagisa spoke quickly, turning red himself. “I just spell out your name!”
“Name signs can only be given by the Deaf community,” Nanako explained with a laugh. “But Nagisa is always talking about how beautiful Rei-chan is, so it seemed like the appropriate choice.”
“Nanako!”
“B-beautiful?” Rei fumbled as he felt his face burn with embarrassment.
“Beautiful,” Nanako repeated, signing the sentiment as well. Rei wasn’t sure how to respond. Did Nagisa really think he was beautiful? He had said he loved him, but Nagisa often made brash statements… Rei was pulled from his thoughts by Nagisa squeaking behind him.
“Nee-san!” he whined, signing frantically. Rei’s brow furrowed, not liking that he couldn’t be part of the conversation. Nanako seemed to notice.
“Oh how rude of me,” she lilted. “I was just asking Nagisa if-”
“Don’t you dare!” Nagisa cried, grabbing Rei’s arm. Nanako laughed. Rei recognized her using his name.
“What is she-?”
“She’s just being mean,” Nagisa interrupted quickly.
“Is Rei-kun staying for dinner as well?” Nagisa’s mother asked from the hallway. Rei turned to Nagisa, unsure how to respond.
“No,” Nagisa stated firmly, before looking up at Rei’s hurt expression. “Er, maybe. Just, can we have a minute?” She nodded, smiling warmly, while Nanako snickered. Nagisa tugged on Rei’s arm and lead him back up the stairs.
“Nagisa-kun, I understand if you do not want me to stay-” Rei was quickly shut up as Nagisa kissed him. He moved to push Nagisa back, but Nagisa grabbed his hands and stopped him. Rei kissed back tentatively. When Nagisa pulled back, he was smiling at Rei.
“I would love for you to stay,” he corrected, voice full of affection. He briefly kissed Rei on the lips again. This time when he pulled back, a small frown was painted on his face. “But I invited Emi-chan over today so she could meet my stupid sister and learn more about the Deaf community around here.”
“Ah,” Rei said breathlessly, still rather stunned that Nagisa had kissed him. Twice.
“And Emi-chan told nee-chan about your confession, so if you stay…” Rei understood where Nagisa was going.
“Oh. I see.”
“Yeah, and I really want you to introduce you to everyone officially, especially now that you’re my… boyfriend?” Nagisa asked tentatively. Rei nodded frantically.
“Boyfriend. Yes.” In a bold move, he tilted forward to kiss Nagisa’s forehead, making the shorter boy giggle. “I would be honored to be your boyfriend.”
“Perfect. Because I’ve really, really wanted to be yours but I wasn’t really sure you’d be all that interested.”
“I am very much interested,” Rei affirmed, twining his fingers with Nagisa’s. Nagisa’s laugh sent warmth tingling through his body.
“Good.” Nagisa squeezed Rei’s hand affectionately.
“Nagisa!” Nanako called from downstairs.
“Okay, okay, gimme a sec,” he shouted back. Nagisa pulled Rei into a hug, resting his head against Rei’s heart. “I’m gonna go downstairs and eat, and you’re going to go home and think. Then, after dinner, you can woo me with your romantic plans for our first date.” Rei flushed.
“First date,” he repeated breathlessly. Nagisa giggled and kissed Rei’s chest.
“Yup, our first date.” He peered up at Rei. “As boyfriends. And after we got a couple of those under our belt, you’ll come over and have dinner with my family. Okay?”
“O-okay,” Rei agree. Nagisa stood on his tiptoes to kiss Rei lightly.
“Nagisa!” Nanako yelled, causing Rei to jump. Nagisa sighed and squeezed Rei one last time before pulling away.
“OKAY!” Nagisa screamed back, starting to tug Rei toward the stairs. Rei stood his ground, causing Nagisa to look back at him in confusion. He was met with the same expression Rei wore when the answer to a homework problem escaped him. “Rei-chan?”
“Can your sister hear you?”
“Huh?”
“Your sister is Deaf.” Nagisa nodded. “But you yelled to her.”
“Oh.” Nagisa laughed a bit, realizing just how much he left out. “I’m sorry Rei-chan. I did a pretty crummy job of explaining stuff, huh? Nanako was born Deaf but she got a cochlear implant pretty young. It’s this thingie in her ear that helps her brain process sounds. Anyway, Nanako can sorta hear sounds and my parents put her in speech therapy and stuff, so she can mostly function like a Hearing person, but she prefers sign language. She goes to a Deaf School a few town over and is really active in the Deaf community.”
“Which is why Himura-chan is here,” Nagisa’s mother reminded them from the bottom of the stairs. Rei felt his face heat up. How much had she heard of their conversation? Nagisa kissed Rei quickly, causing him to splutter.
“We’re coming down now,” Nagisa called back. Nagisa looked up at Rei. “Ready?” Rei nodded and Nagisa lead them back downstairs. Rei was keenly aware of the fact that their hands were still entwined. He avoided avoided eye contact with Nagisa’s family as they crossed to the door.
“I’ll text you,” Nagisa promised, squeezing Rei’s hand.
“I will be waiting,” Rei answered without thinking. He blushed deeply when he heard sniggering, but the magnitude of Nagisa’s smile made it easy to ignore.
“I’m really glad you came,” Nagisa said softly.
“I suppose I am as well,” Rei agreed. “As embarrassing as it was,” he added with a mumble as he slid on his shoes. Nagisa opened the door with a quiet giggle.
“I thought it was sweet.” Rei felt his ears grow hot, but before he could respond, a theatric sigh sounded from the dining room.
“I will speak to you soon.” Nagisa nodded enthusiastically.
“Yup! Bye Rei-chan!”
That could have gone better, Rei thought as he walked away. But then again….
Rei glanced over his shoulder and smiled to himself when he saw Nagisa waving enthusiastically.
It certainly could have gone worse.