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When Thomas entered the glade, he was a very shy, stayed to himself kind of person. He didn’t really communicate with anyone except Newt and Minho for a few weeks after he got there. He didn’t speak to anyone else, and even then he didn’t really say much.
Until now.
Newt noticed the tiny touches that Thomas placed upon him. It started out just being claps on the back whenever Thomas got back from the maze, not even that frequent. Maybe every few days he’d do that. Then he did it every time he got back, then he did it every time he left the glade. The claps on the back turned into grasps on Newt’s shoulders, lasting a little longer than the one before.
Newt has been held hostage in the glade for three years now, and not one of the other gladers touched him that often, or at all, like Thomas did. The gladers were all individuals who did their jobs with little group work. Everyone liked to do their own thing, so there weren’t much interaction between the gladers except for the bonfire parties. So Newt was shocked at first when Thomas begin to touch him like they were best buds who knew each other for all their lives, and he honestly didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to hurt the boy’s feelings. He kept his discomfort hidden as best as he could with minimum looks and roll of the eyes.
Now Thomas has been in the glade for two months and the touching was getting beyond annoying and made him overly irritated. He didn’t know why it set him off like this, maybe in reaction of a traumatic experience from his life before the maze, he didn't know but he couldn’t stand it anymore. Minho and Thomas had just left him to enter the maze, and Thomas of course had given him one of his usual side-hugs before running off. The touch had shot electricity down his body in a distressing, uncomfortable way. Newt’s nerves had skyrocketed, and now he was trudging to the garden with a scowl on his face. Tension was running around his whole body like Thomas was still touching him, and he couldn’t stand it anymore.
He needed to tell Thomas to back off. He couldn’t handle this anymore. He couldn’t handle this unnecessary touching anymore. Thomas needed to stop and he needed to stop now.
As soon as Newt saw Minho and Thomas jog back into the glade that evening, he starts to walk over to meet them. Just seeing Thomas and knowing that the runner was going hug him had his anger blaring out again. His leg was more painful than usual as he very rarely walks very fast, but now he couldn’t wait to tell Thomas off. He felt bad for feeling this way, but he couldn’t stand waiting for Thomas to come out of nowhere and give him one of those shoulder touches or hugs.
He waves Minho off, seeing the runner go to him, and he heads straight for Thomas. His stomach grows nauseous when he sees the excitement on the brunet’s face when he sees Newt go straight for him. The desire to yell at him evaporated so quickly he almost halted, but then he sees Thomas raise his hand for what looked like a side-hug and his anger came flooding back.
He takes a step back before Thomas could get his arm around him, making the runner freeze and his smile drop.
“Is everything-“
“No, nothing’s okay right now,” Newt barks back, anger taking over. Thomas instantly falters and steps back like he was burned. Newt doesn’t let his feelings make him stop.
“You have got to stop touching me. You are extremely invasive and you drive me bloody insane whenever you do those stupid, what are you those claps on my back? Those are annoying by the way. You need to quit,” Newt demands with vile in his tone. The color drained from Thomas’s face, and Newt couldn’t tell if he felt bad or he was glad he was finally telling him this.
“You are annoying and you need to stay away from me.”
His words came out of his mouth like a whip and he couldn’t stop them. He knew they were unbelievably harsh and he shouldn’t have said them. Regret washes over Newt and he was about to express his regret, but then he looks at the runner in front of him.
Thomas looked gutted like he was just stabbed in the chest repeatedly. There was no color in his face, and Newt immediately was consumed in sorrow.
“Tommy..”
“Don’t worry about it Newt,” Thomas whispers just loud enough to reach Newt’s ear. Newt watches as Thomas looks at the ground refusing to look at him.
“I won’t bother you again.”
Then Thomas left him.
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To say that Newt felt uncomfortable even more now was an understatement.
Newt had tried to forget about Thomas the rest of that night, tried to convince himself that he was going to feel less irritated and maybe get Thomas to forgive him and then be friends without all the obnoxious touching.
None of that happened.
He instead watched as Thomas stayed far away from him, almost even ran away from him like he was wildfire. Every time he got somewhat close to the runner, Thomas sensed him and then automatically scurried away, pretending to be busy. Thomas didn’t even look at him in the mornings when he wished them goodbye. Newt would say goodbye to Minho, and then turn to Thomas to say goodbye but the brunet was already gone. He knew he should’ve been relieved with not having to deal with all the touching anymore.
Instead though, he felt completely empty.
The lack of the runner’s presence crushed Newt. The sweet and happy aura that Thomas had didn’t seem so important until now. He didn’t know how fulfilling Thomas made him feel, and he couldn’t believe the mistake he made.
The brunet always had a smile on his face, but now Newt hasn’t seen the boy smile in days. He has barely even seen the boy. Thomas didn’t show at the bonfire parties, and Newt always felt worse knowing it was his fault. He was the one to call Thomas annoying and to stay away from him.
Also if Newt was honest with himself, he missed the touches. He missed the hugs, claps, high-fives, etc. He wanted it all back. He couldn’t believe he threw all that away.
What was silly, was that he honestly did not like to be touched! He didn’t like it at all, but for some reason he missed Thomas and his gestures. He never wanted to be touched so badly, it was like he was touch-starved. It was the worst feeling he’s ever felt.
It was now four days after the argument and Newt was at the entrance of the maze waiting for Minho and Thomas. It was getting really close to time for the doors to close, but it wasn’t close enough to worry about it.
There were three minutes left before he finally sees the runners, causing the small group of gladers around him to drift off once realizing that they need not to worry anymore. Newt smiles at the two and nods at Minho, wanting him to leave so he can talk to Thomas. Minho saw the hint and he jogs a little faster around the blond to the map room. Newt looks over at Thomas, who had already jogged passed him a little ways.
“Thomas, wait!” Newt calls out, ineffectively getting the other male’s attention. He huffs at the ignorant boy, but then curses at himself knowing this was his own fault. He follows after the brunet, intending to settle this out. He was just about close enough to grasp Thomas’s shirt, before the boy whips around making him jump back in surprise. Anger was expressed all over Thomas’s face.
“What do you want Newt? I’m staying away from you. You no longer have to worry,” Thomas almost hisses at the blond. Newt’s eyes widen in shock, surprised by the action. He was so used to Thomas being happy before all this happened. God he really ruined this.
He didn’t even get a word out because Thomas was gone before he was able to get himself together.
Newt exhales a long breath, having more regret than ever. He felt so empty without Thomas’s…presence? Touches? Smile? All of those things?
He really needed to get Thomas back. He needed to show how truly sorry he was.
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Newt knew he only had a few minutes to find Thomas before he disappears into the night so he got his food fast and turned to find the brunet in the crowd. He follows the boy, easily weaving around gladers as he catches up to Thomas who was headed straight to his usual spot in the corner of the glade in the woods. He felt stupid for not thinking this is where Thomas would go if he was upset. He tries to stay silent as he follows the brunet, but the branches gave him away and Thomas freezes and turns around to look at him. The sadness on Thomas’s face made Newt want to throw up.
He thought Thomas was going to say something but he never did. All he did was turn back around and continue walking. Newt huffs as he’s led further in the woods until he gets to their destination. Thomas just sits down like Newt wasn’t there. Newt stands there in silence, waiting to see if Thomas was going to say something. He never did. Newt knew he had to be the one to say something.
“Thomas…”
“I’ve left you alone Newt,” Thomas speaks up weakly, taking Newt by surprise. He thought there would be malice in his voice. When Thomas goes back to his food, Newt knows it was his turn.
“I’ve missed you.”
The words spiraled out of his mouth before he could stop them. He didn’t mean for those particular words to come out, much more intimate than he intended. He did get Thomas to look at him though, so he decided to go with it.
“I..I’ve missed you, okay? I thought the touching was driving me nuts, but now it’s the fact that you don’t come anywhere near me anymore. I’m going insane here Tom-Thomas,” Newt speaks out truthfully. Thomas’s eyes bore into him and he didn’t know what he was thinking. He decides to keep going.
“I like the way you smile, I like the way you seem to be always happy, I like the way you hug me before you leave and the way you hug me when you come back,” Newt whispers sincerely into the cool air. He doesn’t know what Thomas was thinking, but he needed to know that he forgave him for what he said. He wanted Thomas to know that he didn’t mean what he said and that he really did need him around. Thomas was such a happy glow in his life, he needed him back. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Thomas didn’t forgive him.
“I thought you hated me.”
Newt looks back at a blushing Thomas. The brunet was playing with his fingers not looking at him like what he was about to say was embarrassing. Newt furrows his eyebrows.
“I-uh I thought you hated me and I was incredibly gutted. I felt like the ultimate failure,” Thomas explains with a flushed face.
“I don’t hate you,” Newt responds, going to sit down next to Thomas who looked up at him. Newt hated himself for making Thomas so sad. He wished he never said anything.
“I like you Newt. I can’t help but do,” Thomas explains sadly like it hurt him to say. Newt perked up.
“You like me? Well I hope so-“
“No, I mean I like you,” Thomas repeats in a more proper way this time, making Newt immediately realize what he meant.
He was hit with shock, almost knocking him down. He was so overwhelmed that he didn’t see the worry growing on Thomas’s face. He didn’t notice until the boy stood up in front of him.
“God I can’t believe I said that-“
“No wait!” Newt shouts louder than needed, hurrying up to stand next to the brunet. Thomas was biting his lip, looking at him wearily. Newt tries to keep from staring at it.
The tension seemed to change around them and so drastically. Newt didn’t realize how close they were until he spoke.
“I like you too.”
He did. He liked Thomas. He liked everything about him. He liked how cheery the boy was, he liked how positive he was, he liked how dedicated he was, he liked his smile, he liked his touches.
The hole inside him filled when suddenly Thomas’s lips were against his.