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As beautiful as Cloud Recesses was, classes with Teacher Lan were boring. Wei Ying almost let out a long sigh but caught himself when he noticed Lan Zhan’s frown.
For a moment, the reaction of throwing yet another paper ball at the fuddy-duddy tempted him. ‘Let me guess, there’s a rule against being bored.’ The thought did not help him. How could any child survive this place? So many rules. Why did they want to control their sect members so much? It seemed like more work that it was worth.
He picked up his brush as Lan Qiren’s words blended together into a monotonous drone while he paced up and down the middle aisle. Without any real thought to what he was creating, Wei Ying let his mind work through different possible ideas for new talismans. Each design he scribbled down led to another tangent until he had about five concepts with potential. It would take more time to flesh most of them out and work out their potential issues but one seemed clear enough to actually try. All he needed was a willing subject.
His fingers twitched over the paper talisman while he studied it with the pride of a new parent. He could try it on a rabbit but Lan Zhan might not like that if it didn’t work. A dog would be a good target but he’d have to get close to one. For a second, he wanted to try it on Jiang Cheng – he did make a cute child.
He let his gaze flit toward Lan Zhan. Oh, to see the second Jade as a toddler – now, that would be cute. An image of a mini Lan child with perfect posture and stone face popped into his head, making him chuckle and grin.
Still, he probably shouldn’t try it on a perso…
The thought froze in his brain as long fingers plucked the talisman from his grasp. Eyes wide, the warning on his tongue didn’t make it to his lips before Teacher Lan sent a small amount of energy to the paper.
In the next second, a bright light flashed and Lan Qiren disappeared, leaving behind a pile of clothes.
“Wei Ying!”
“Wei Wuxian! What did you do?”
Still stunned, he swivelled his attention from Lan Zhan, to the wriggling pile of clothes, to Jiang Cheng, and back. “Don’t blame me! I wasn’t the one who sent energy into a talisman before knowing what it was!”
The rest of the class overcame their shock at the sudden disappearance of their teacher and started to their feet, chattering in their confusion. Lan Zhan dropped to his knees as a tiny, black-haired head popped out from Lan Qiren’s robes.
“It worked!” Wei Ying yelped with enthusiasm before cowering under Lan Zhan’s glare.
“You turned the teacher into a child?” Nei Huaisang whacked him with his fan. “Wei Wuxian, you are impressive.”
“Don’t congratulate him,” Jiang Cheng barked, smacking Wei Ying in the back of his head. “This isn’t impressive. Mother is going to kill you. You… you…” He sunk to the floor. “Oh, gods. This is going to start a war. That’s it. There’s no way around it.”
The child’s eyes brightened, and he held out his chubby arms, making grabby hands toward Lan Zhan. “Baba. Baba up.”
Seeing this, the entire class cooed.
Lan Zhan didn't move; in fact, he didn't even breathe. Wei Ying wanted to poke him just to see if he actually turned into solid jade. After an infinitesimal shiver, the Lan finally picked up the tiny Grandmaster, careful to cover his bare body with as much material as possible. He shifted the toddler to his hip, the outrage clear in the intense glare he threw at Wei Ying.
“Awww. Your uncle is so cute, Lan Zhan—no goatee, big eyes, and chubby cheeks.”
Wei Ying yelped again as the Second Lan Jade grabbed his arm in a vice grip and dragged him out of the room.
“Ouch, Lan Zhan, you’re breaking my arm. Could you just loosen up your fingers a little? One? How about one finger? Any would work. Even your little one is strong. Wow. How do you do that? Most people barely have any strength at all in their little finger, but you… is this a Lan thing like the arm strength or did you work on that on purpose?”
Wei Ying squawked and stumbled, trying to maintain a certain amount of dignity as Lan Zhan dragged him down the path. “Umm, where are we going?”
The Second Jade ignored him as they stopped in front of another building. He nudged the door open with a foot and went inside, Wei Ying in tow.
“Wangji? What…” Lan Xichen looked up from his desk, surprise on his face at their sudden intrusion.
Lan Zhan let go of Wei Ying and plopped a giggling Lan Qiren in his brother’s lap. “Uncle.” He glared at Wei Ying again, who couldn’t stop himself from laughing and rolling on the floor.
“Hey, this isn’t my fault,” he said when he managed to collect himself. “I was just writing out some new ideas for a talisman. Your uncle was the one who took the paper from me and hit it with energy. Frankly, I think that’s highly careless of him, not checking what he was activating.”
The two Jades stared at him while the baby Lan played with Lan XiChen’s hair, drool dripping down his chin.
“Okay, okay. He probably thought he was burning another of Huaisang’s dirty poems but still… he should have looked.”
“Wangji.” The expression on Lan Xichen’s face was one of helpless confusion. “Are you telling me this child,” he closed his eyes for a moment and visibly swallowed, “is our uncle? That he de-aged from a talisman Wei Wuxian created?”
Lan Zhan glared at Wei Ying, his hands clenched tight in his lap as he sat before his brother and uncle. “Yes.”
The sect leader turned his wide-eyed gaze toward Wei Ying. “How? Why?” He paused, clearing his throat. “Wei Wuxian, would you please explain why you would make such a thing?” His voice took on a level tone, his lips donning a controlled smile.
“Oh, I figured it might be handy if a person met up with a powerful enemy or monster. Turn them back to a baby and, poof, much easier problem to deal with.” The grin on his face faded under the scrutiny of the twin jades. “I honestly didn’t think he would activate it.”
Baby Qiren patted Lan Xichen on the cheek. “Hungry, Shufu.” He turned toward Lan Zhan, his brown eyes big and pleading. “Hungry, Baba.”
Lan Xichen's usual pleasant smile wobbled. “Wangji, please ask one of the juniors to bring a tray of food here, and see if there are some more appropriate sized robes in storage,” he said, his voice rough.
Lan Zhan nodded once before rushing out the door.
“Sect Leader, if you don’t mind my asking, why does Master Qiren refer to you as Shufu and your brother as Baba?” Wei Ying asked, holding out a finger toward the child.
Baby Qiren scowled at him and turned his face away, choosing to play with his ribbon instead.
Zewu-jun cleared his throat. “I’m not sure. It may be because he saw Wangji first and thought he was his baba. Ah, Wei Wuxian. I’m almost afraid to ask this but do you know how to reverse this talisman?”
The amount of calm control Lan Xichen now spoke with was impressive.
An awkward flush ran up Wei Ying’s neck, and he rubbed the side of his nose. “Ah, haha, well, I had just finished making the talisman when your uncle grabbed it, so…” He spread his hands wide in front of himself.
“So, no.” Lan Xichen sighed. “While I am impressed with your creativity and ability to make such a talisman, I’m afraid your lack of safety measures during such an endeavour must be addressed. For now, please, go to the library and work on a solution to this dilemma.”
After Wei Wuxian left, Lan Xichen turned his gaze to his tiny uncle. He had to admit, the boy was truly adorable, much like Wangji as a child except for the serious furrow of his brow. His brother came in a moment later.
“Food is on its way,” he said with deep concern in his eyes.
“It will be alright, Wangji,” Xichen assured him, though he had his own doubts.
Xichen took the clothes from his didi and set about dressing his elder. “He reminds me of you,” he said, unable to keep the bright smile from his lips. “Pudgy, cute, and so serious for one so small.”
Wangji’s eyebrow twitched, but he remained silent.
Uncle balanced himself on Xichen’s legs as he checked over his new robes. He grunted in approval and patted his head. “Hair, pweese, Baba.”
“Yes, Baba. Hair,” Xichen couldn’t help saying with a soft chuckle. He passed Wangji a comb, delighting in his sibling’s exasperated frown.
Though Xichen wanted to tease his didi more, their lunch arrived, cutting off anymore conversation.
It took Wei Ying several hours to come up with a counter talisman, but his whole being groaned in relief when he succeeded. Desperate to redeem himself, he raced back to the Hanshi, ignoring any attempts Lan disciples and elders made to slow him down.
“I got it!” he exclaimed, holding the yellow talisman paper high as he came through the door. Any other words caught in his throat at the sight before him.
There, on the floor surrounded by cushions, paper, ink, and brushes, sat Lan Zhan and Zewu-jun with baby Qiren between them. A smudge of black decorated Lan-gongzi’s nose as baby Qiren smacked his paper, trying to correct whatever they were drawing. Meanwhile, the tip of Lan Zhan’s tongue peeked out between his lips as he concentrated on his own paper, the distinct print of a child’s hand on his cheek.
Stifling a giggle, Wei Ying put his hands to his hips. “Ah. How about I come back later?”
Before either of the jades could answer, Lan Qiren wobbled over to him on unsteady legs and tugged on his white, student robes.
“Dwaw,” the boy ordered, working around his missing teeth, his free hand waving a blank piece of paper about.
Unable to resist, Wei Ying knelt down. “Dwaw? What would you like me to dwaw?” he asked, reaching to squeeze those chubby cheeks.
The tiny acting sect leader frowned at him and batted his hand. “Don’t.” He smacked the paper on the floor. “Kitty. Dwaw kitty.”
A giggle slipped from Wei Ying’s lips as he set about sketching out a kitty. “What is kitty doing?”
“Ca’ching butterfwy.”
“Catching butterfly, right. Is it a big kitty or small?”
The tiny grandmaster scrunched his nose. “Kitties small. Cats big,” he said with a touch of disapproval.
“Of course they are. I apologise,” Wei Ying replied with a slight bow and a snicker.
“So you have a solution?” Lan Xichen asked as he put down his brush and sat back on his heels.
“Ah, yes,” he said with a quick glance up from his work. “You can look it over to be sure, but it should work just fine.”
“Should?” Lan Zhan asked, pausing from his art duties.
“Ah, Lan Zhan. Have a little faith. He’ll be fine. Once he goes to sleep, I–” he paused and flicked his gaze from one jade to the other– “or one of you can apply the talisman and he’ll be his old, grumpy self by morning.”
Lan Qiren waddled over to Lan Xichen with his hands behind his back like he was supervising a class. He squatted and turned his eldest nephew’s paper around and around on the floor. With a pause, he stroked his chin. “Mn,” he said with an approving nod. “Better.”
“Thank-you, Uuun… ah, Nephew,” the first jade replied with an awkward smile.
The adorable boy stood and turned his attention to Lan Zhan’s efforts. He patted the drawing, peering close. “Mmm. Baba’s best.”
A bright flush made Lan-er-gege’s ears glow. “Thank-you.”
“How about you, Little Bunny? What did you draw?” Wei Ying asked, unable to keep the amusement from his voice.
“Not Bunny. Pwurson. Not draw. Suprurfise.”
Wei Ying worked his brain around the last word. “Ah, supervise. Right. Of course.” What else would he do? Once a teacher, always a teacher. He put aside his brush and held his drawing up to the child Lan. “How’s that?”
The baby goat tapped his fingers together while he eyed the kitty with the butterfly. “Mmm,” he said and turned away. “Baba, han’s messy.” He held out his little paws toward Lan Zhan, ignoring Wei Ying’s yelp of protest.
With a whimper, Wei Ying sank back on his heels, his shoulders sagging. “Ah, he doesn’t like me. Children always like me, but Baby Qiren? Nope.” He collapsed on the floor and hid his face in his hands, though still peered through his fingers.
Baby Qiren paused, his round face shifting through all sorts of expressions. “Hmmph,” he snorted through his button nose and shuffled over to Wei Ying. “Ridicus,” he muttered with a nudge to Wei Ying’s shoulder. “Kitty good.”
Wei Ying couldn’t help himself. He squealed in delight and scooped the tiny teacher in a hug.
“Ahhh,” Qiren yelped, going all sorts of shades of red. “Down. Down. Baba, help.”
Before Wei Ying could move, Lan Zhan swept in and took his uncle away. “Wei Ying, behave.”
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Wei Ying gasped, unable to control his laughter. “He’s just so adorable.”
“That he is,” Zewu-jun said, softly. He held out a hand toward Wei Ying. “The talisman, if I may?”
“Ah, right.” He hopped to his feet and passed over the page before snatching it back. “Oops. That’s the kitty.” After patting himself down, he pulled the proper sheet from where he tucked it in his belt and gave it to the first jade. “Here. That, that’s the one.”
Lan Xichen nodded before falling silent as he studied Wei Ying’s work. While he did so, Wei Ying made his way over to where Lan Zhan sat cleaning Baby Qiren.
“You might want to… ah, you have a little…” he reached out a finger, so tempted to poke the handprint on the fuddy duddy’s face. “Your uncle left some ink on your face,” he finally managed, putting his hand behind his back.
The second jade made a rumbling sound in his chest and gave Wei Ying what he decided was a scowl, though the Lan’s expression remained the same.
“He did, really,” he insisted and snatched the damp cloth from Lan Zhan’s hand. “There’s a tiny, baby hand right there.”
Lan Zhan leaned away and swatted at him as Wei Ying tried to clean his cheek.
“Aw. Come on, Lan Zhan. I’m just trying to help. How would it look if the perfect Lan-er-gongzi appeared with ink smeared all over his beautiful face?”
“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan hissed, trying to get the cloth back. “I can clean myself! Do not need help.”
He grabbed Wei Ying’s wrist and tore the cloth from his fingers.
“Oh, fine. Be like that,” Wei Ying pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Young Master Wei, I don’t see any problems with this talisman,” Lan Xichen interjected, his brown eyes a little too bright with amusement. “It’s quite impressive, actually. Your understanding of talismans is impressive.”
The compliment made Wei Ying rub his arms. “Eh, I had to do something. After all, I’m the one who…” He paused as he turned to gesture toward Baby Qiren. “Where’d he go?”
Nie Huaisang decided this year at Cloud Recesses was the best year ever as a miniature Lan Qiren toddled into the classroom, hands clasped behind his back and head held high. A hush fell over the gossiping group of students and they quickly shuffled back to their seats.
“Look at his tiny, Lan robes,” the person beside him whispered.
“Oh, my goodness. He’s adorable!” squealed another.
Unable to help himself, Huaisang pulled out a fresh sheet of paper and dedicated his art skills to sketching a portrait of his mini teacher.
“Setwle down,” Mini Qiren ordered after climbing onto his desk. A ripple of giggles ran through the room. He narrowed his eyes at them and stamped his little foot. “Siwence!”
This only made them laugh more.
“Now, now. Give our tiny teacher some respect,” a minor sect heir said with a wave of his hands. “He has something important to say.”
“Tank-you,” Mini Qiren said and gave the cultivator a slight nod of approval, as the students quieted down. “Now, cwass, what is da mos’ impowtat job of a cuwtivavor?”
Before anyone could answer, Wei-gongzi stumbled into the room with a harried looking pair of jades close behind.
“See? I told you I’d find him,” Wei-gongzi exclaimed after a heavy exhale.
An icy Wangji-gongzi strode past him and scooped up Mini Qiren.
“Baba! You interwuptin me!” the boy scolded, his lower lip jutting out in a pout.
“It’s time for a nap,” the second jade insisted, sweeping out of the room much to everyone’s disappointment.
Well, almost everyone. Huiasang grinned behind his fan as Jiang Cheng hid his purple face behind his hands.
“Lan Zhan, I don’t think a nap is enough,” Wei-gongzi shouted as he followed Wangji-gongzi out the door.
Zewu-jun smoothed out his robes and donned a pleasant smile before making his way to the front of the class. “Until Grandmaster Lan is restored, I shall take over as your teacher.”
Huaisang stifled a groan, his hopes of a delay in the lectures dashed. He consoled himself with a sketch of the first jade’s inky appearance. Da-ge might just want a copy of this one.
Wei Ying scrambled after Lan Zhan as he strode through the paths of Cloud Recesses at a speed that most people would consider running. Despite his delight with the current situation, he never meant to harm anyone, least of all the Lan elder who already hated him. With any luck, they would only beat him to death instead of starting a war with Yunmeng Jiang.
“Lan Zhan, wait up,” he called, slightly panicked.
“Go back to class,” the fuddy duddy replied without turning around.
Wei Ying ignored the order. “I can’t. I’m the one who caused this mess in the first place. It’s my responsibility to fix it.”
“Wei Ying has done enough,” the second jade insisted as he stomped up a couple of steps and onto a wooden porch. He hesitated only a moment to open a door before he disappeared inside.
Rushing, Wei Ying managed to duck inside before Lan Zhan could stop him.
“Leave,” Lan Zhan insisted, the red of his ears spreading to his cheeks.
Wei Ying put up his hands. “I will, I will. After I help.” He paused, the simple beauty of the building catching his attention. His eyes roamed over the elegant furniture stained dark red with black and silver accents and the circular shelves sparsely filled with books, scrolls, and few knick-knacks. A couple of pictures decorated the white walls, but otherwise remained blank. The place screamed elegance, restraint, and silence.
“Wow. Is this your home?”
Lan Zhan went over to a comfortable looking daybed and put Baby Qiren down. “Yes,” he said as he removed the child’s boots. “And I did not invite you in.”
That made Wei Ying’s spirit sag. “Aw, come on, Lan Zhan. I know you hate me, but I really want to help.” He slunk over and pulled back the soft, blue comforter for him. “I know I’m a mess and a lot most of the time. Everyone gets tired of me eventually, but they usually start out as friends for a while. Can’t we be friends for a while?”
“No,” the second jade replied, tucking his uncle in.
The shrunken grandmaster watched them with wide eyes.
Wei Ying flopped onto the floor, his back resting against the daybed. “Why?”
“Wei Ying is impulsive, reckless, and doesn’t mean what he says,” he said after a moment. “He teases without caring how it affects others.”
Collapsing into himself, Wei Ying let out a heavy sigh. “That’s not quite fair. I mean, I am impulsive and reckless. I can’t deny that. And I do tend to cause all kinds of trouble. Just ask Jiang Cheng. I’m always getting disciplined in Lotus Pier, no matter what I do.” He plucked at his robe to release some nervous tension. “And I know I tease, but I can’t help it. You’re so ethereal and above me, I guess… I don’t know. I just want to get a reaction, bring you a little lower for a moment, so you might see me.” He smacked a hand against his forehead. “Ah, that sounds bad. Don’t listen to me. I talk nonsense all the time.
“It doesn’t matter anyway. Once your uncle is back to his proper self, I’ll be lucky if he only tosses me from your mountain. Madame Yu wouldn’t mind if I broke my neck. Her only complaint would be not getting to execute me herself. Uncle Jiang would either laugh and pat me on the head or give me such a disappointed look, it might even satisfy Jiang Cheng’s jealousy. Shijie would cry, of course. Her kind heart would allow for nothing less. As for Jiang Cheng, he’d probably snort and say it served me right.”
A dry laugh slipped from his lips. “Whatever else happens, I take full responsibility for this. You can’t let them blame Lotus Pier. It’s my fault and mine alone, so I’m the one who deserves whatever punishment your uncle and the elders demand.”
He pulled his knees up to his chest. “I do mean what I say, though,” he added quietly. “I like you. I can’t help it. You’re the most amazing and righteous person I’ve ever met. So you don’t want me as a friend. You’re my friend, and you can’t change that even if you hate me forever.”
Silence fell between them. Words failed Wei Ying. He didn’t know what else to say. Suddenly, the trick of hiding behind outrageous, constant comments and bright smiles seemed inadequate, impossible.
Attempt the impossible. Maybe, in a moment, once he gathered himself back together. He never meant to reveal so much, but he couldn’t stop. His need for the second jade’s attention and company confused him. He didn’t understand it any more than he understood how he felt about anyone else.
He loved his shijie, his sister/mother, even when she downplayed his sadness and distress sometimes. That wasn’t important. She tried the best she could to take care of him, encouraging him to face everything with a smile. And while Jiang Cheng didn’t realise how his comments hurt, he was Wei Ying’s brother even if the sect heir never really called him brother in return. Uncle Jiang confused him. He gave him praise and affection, but never stopped Madame Yu from whipping him or saying terrible things about him and his parents. They were his friends, but he never talked about them or defended them.
Well, his situation was precarious. Madame Yu had such a temper. At least, she was honest, though. She hated him, and never shied away from showing it. He gave up trying to please her a long time ago.
“Don’t hate Wei Ying.”
“What?” he said, pulled out of his messed up thoughts.
Lan Zhan sat beside him, somehow looking defeated even with his perfect posture. “I don’t hate Wei Ying. You overwhelm me. I don’t know how…” his words halted as he fiddled with the ends of his sleeves. “Wei Ying is bright and energetic like the sun. Untamed like the birds. Wangji is quiet, restrained, boring. Wei Ying can’t want to be with Wangji.”
“That’s not true,” he insisted, tugging at the fuddy duddy’s sleeve. “You’re smart and funny. People don’t believe me, but that’s because they don’t take the time to get to know you. Which is their loss!”
“Wei Ying called me boring,” Lan Zhan said with a pouting bottom lip.
The sight made him giggle. “Ahgh, Wei Ying is a fool, sometimes, and only three. Ask Shijie. She’ll tell you Xianxian is only one and needs guidance.
A light huff came from his fuddy duddy.
“Ai? Was that a laugh? Did I finally manage to make the righteous Lan Wangji laugh?” He nudged his friend with his shoulder. “Yes! You are so adorable, it makes me want to kiiiiid you. It makes me want to kid you, tease you. Yeah.”
More silence fell as Wei Ying glued his gaze on the floor, his neck and face burning hot. Oh, hopefully the second jade wouldn’t notice. What was the matter with him? He never kissed anyone in his life! Kiss Lan Zhan? What was that? Sure, he had perfect lips that looked soft enough to touch, but men don’t kiss men. Do they?
Okay, yeah. Huaisang did give him some cutsleeve books, but he only perused them in curiosity. He wasn’t attracted to men. Was he?
Okay, so he found Lan Zhan amazingly attractive, beautiful even. He belonged in the number one spot on the young masters’ list, but anyone who had eyes could see that. It was natural to comment on beauty when one saw it, but he flirted with girls.
Okay, maybe not always girls, but that wasn’t unusual. He was friendly; he couldn’t help it. Sure, Jiang Cheng never commented on the attractiveness of other men, but he didn’t say anything about women either. Maybe he wasn’t the best gauge to go by.
Once he thought about it, the other disciples in Lotus Pier only ever talked about women and seemed uncomfortable when he mentioned a handsome or pretty man. Then again, Yunmeng Jiang didn’t accept cutsleeves, so why would he even entertain the idea no matter what he was. The last time Madame Yu discovered two of their male disciples loved each other, they ran away together before she could flick out Zidian. As far as he knew, they were happy with each other, travelling the world as cultivation partners.
Yeah, he could admit that sounded amazing and he pictured Lan Zhan by his side when he thought about it for himself. They were zhijis after all, soulmates. It was natural to envision them as cultivation partners travelling together, standing for justice and living without regrets. The idea thrilled him even as it scared him. After all, the honourable Lan Wangji wouldn’t want to do that with him, a troublesome street rat, cutsleeve or not.
He chuckled.
How could he even think of such a thing? Lan-er-gongzi wasn’t a cutsleeve. He didn’t want to kiss Wei Ying. Lan Zhan wouldn’t even let him wash the ink from his cheek.
Ahhh, his head was a mess.
None of it mattered, anyway. If he survived shrinking the grandmaster, he would go back to Lotus Pier to serve by Jiang Cheng’s side. That was why they took him in, what they trained him for. If he was lucky, Madame Yu would pick him out some…
Wei Ying paused, his throat closing up as he realised he had been speaking out loud. Slowly, he turned toward Lan Zhan, who stared at him with wide eyes.
“Oh, ahh…” His courage failed him, and he bolted from the room.
Miserable and confused, Wei Ying spent the rest of the day wandering the back hills. He cursed his uncontrollable mouth while whacking at long grass with Suibian. Despite the beautiful reds and golds of the sunset, he wished for clouds and rain. At least then he could get thoroughly soaked and die from a fever.
Ah, his golden core would heal him before then.
He threw himself on the ground and let the foliage around him hide him from the rest of the world. While death seemed appealing, his best option was to turn rogue.
Between the incredible, shrinking Lan and his babbling confession to the esteemed Lan-er-gongzi even Uncle Jiang would cast him from the sect just to save face.
Why couldn’t he learn some restraint?
Oh, that hurt. Things weren’t bad enough. He just had to throw Jiang Cheng’s words at himself.
Throwing an arm over his eyes, he drowned in his spiraling thoughts until they sucked him into a restless sleep and horrible nightmares.
He woke to a gentle morning with soft light and faint bird songs. His nose itched.
Resigned to his fate, he scratched his nose and forced himself to his feet. Despite the abject embarrassment that clung to him, he would face his doom.
As he made his way back to the Jiang dorm, he realised no one else seemed to be up yet. At least, he didn’t come across anyone, which probably used up his one saving grace for the day. Quietly, he slipped inside the room he shared with Jiang Cheng, hoping his shidi still slept.
“Where, the hells, have you been?” Jiang Cheng snarled, grabbing his collar and dashing his hopes. “Both Lan-gongzi and Lan-er-gongzi have been looking for you!”
“Ah, haha. I went for a walk and fell asleep watching the sun set,” he said, squirming out of his brother’s grasp.
“You fell asleep watching a sunset? Of course, you did. Who cares if you turned the acting leader of Gusu Lan into a child? Who cares if you have disgraced Yunmeng Jiang? Not you. No. You’re Wei Wuxian. You do what you want, damn the consequences.” He stepped forward, his violet eyes fiery and his face several shades of purple. “You, fucking, idiot. Do you even realise what you’ve done? We’ll be lucky if Lan Qiren only calls for your head.”
“I know; I know, okay?” he snapped, hands up between them. “I messed up. Don’t worry. As soon as I’ve cleaned up, I’ll report to the old goat. He should be fine now, so I’m sure he has devised a long list of ways to punish me.”
“Why can’t you behave instead of playing around with things you shouldn’t? You’re always scribbling away at talismans as though you know what you’re doing instead of doing what you’re told!”
Letting his shidi rant, he changed into clean robes, washed his face, and tidied his hair. Once he made himself as presentable as he could after a cold night in a field of wild grasses, he left without another word to Jiang Cheng.
Despite his determination to feign arrogance, his steps faltered when he noticed Zewu-jun exiting from Lan Qiren’s quarters. With a deep breath, he plastered on a smile and continued on when the first jade waved at him.
“Ah, Wei Wuxian. There you are. We were worried about you,” the sect heir greeted with a mischievous hint to his grin.
“You were? Ah, sorry, sorry, sorry. I mean, there was no need. I apologise for my absence last night. I hope my lack of presence did not hinder the Grandmaster’s recovery,” he managed after his initial surprise at their concern.
“Yes, yes. Uncle woke up fine and hale. Actually, he looked more rested than he has in a while.” He gestured toward the door. “He’s waiting for you.”
Throat tight, Wei Ying forced a polite nod and continued on with Zewu-jun following behind. Oh, this wasn’t good. He didn’t even bring Suibian with him to defend himself – not that he could or would. Whatever they did, he deserved it and more.
The sight of Grandmaster Lan seated behind his desk as usual almost seemed surreal. He looked softer as though the edges had been smoothed a little. Still, those sharp eyes glinted at him like steel knives ready to slice him into pieces.
A squeak escaped him as he realised Lan Wangji was there too, a little less put together than usual and unwilling to turn his way. That was okay. He doubted he would ever be able to look into those golden eyes again.
Shameless.
Well, apparently, the perfect second jade was wrong for once. Shame swirled in Wei Ying’s gut right now, making him want to puke even though he hadn’t eaten since noon yesterday. He fell to his knees and lowered his head to the floor.
“This lowly one apologises, Grandmaster, for his actions and willingly accepts whatever punishment required of him to atone for any harm or inconvenience he has caused you and Gusu Lan. I only ask that you do not hold Yunmeng Jiang accountable for this one’s careless actions.”
“Wei Wuxian!” Lan Qiren barked with a loud bang as he hit his desk. “Get up! I refuse to have this conversation with you like this!”
Startled, Wei Ying inched his way to a seated position, half expecting a book to the head.
“That’s better,” the grandmaster said, tugging at his beard. “Now, due to extenuating circumstances,” his gaze flicked toward Lan Zhan and back again, “and the fact that no one suffered any lasting harm, I see no need to involve Yunmeng Jiang at this time. However, you will be punished for not paying attention in class and distracting yourself with potentially dangerous talisman experimentation. While I admire your curiosity, a room full of people is not a safe place to indulge in such an undertaking.”
Wei Ying stared at him, unblinking. He had to still be dreaming. Surely, it wasn’t so easy. “But…”
“But what?” Lan Qiren interjected when Wei Ying couldn’t continue. He waved a hand, irritation drawing his eyebrows together. “Enough. There are other matters to address.” His fingers tapped against his desk while he turned his attention to his nephew. “Wangji, leave us for now.”
Lan Zhan stared, mouth slightly open as though he wanted to say something. Instead, he brought his lips together, bowed, and left in a blur of white cloth.
“Tea?” Grandmaster Lan asked, after a moment of silence.
“Oh, of course,” Wei Ying mumbled and shuffled forward on his knees. He grabbed the ceramic kettle from the small brazier on the corner of the desk, and poured a cup for his teacher and himself.
“Mmm.” The elder twisted his cup in his hand, his lips tight together. “You are the most frustrating student I have ever had,” he finally said, his eyes still on his cup. “While you are brilliant in many ways, you are reckless and have no sense of consequences or boundaries. And, while I admit I don’t understand or approve of your behaviour most of the time, I also admit I have not been as fair to you as righteousness dictates.”
He put up a hand, stopping the words Wei Ying wanted to say.
“Your mother irritated me to no end. I resented her flirtatious and untamed nature. Such behaviour is unbecoming in a refined cultivator let alone a woman of any stature. However, she was gifted in many ways, and possibly did not deserve the vitriol I have accumulated toward her. Her son certainly did not deserve to bear the brunt of it no matter how alike you are to her.”
Wei Ying didn’t know what to say. Part of him wanted to tell the old goat where to stuff it, but he was in enough trouble already. The other part of him ached at his strange apology, if it was an apology. Either way, he played it safe.
“Thank-you, Grandmaster.”
“Don’t thank me,” he replied with another irritated wave. “If it weren’t for my nephew, I would have thrown you out of Cloud Recesses by now and rejoiced in the deed.”
Lan Zhan? Oh, he was truly good. Even after Wei Ying’s horrible blabbering, he intervened for him.
“Therefore, I have granted Wangji permission to court you. If you agree to this, I will write to Jiang Fengmian and begin negotiations.”
Open mouthed, Wei Ying stared at him as his brain worked to comprehend what the old goat said. “Umm. But he hates me,” he croaked.
A scroll smacked him upside the head. He didn’t even see the Grandmaster’s hand move. “Ridiculous boy! He already said he didn’t hate you! Pay attention.”
“You heard that?” he yelped, his thoughts flitting back to the previous day. “You were asleep – and a child. You remember everything?”
“Yes!” he snapped and added under his breath, “Little bunny, indeed. Ridiculous.”
Oh, how Wei Ying longed for the ground to swallow him whole.
“Now, do you want to court my nephew or not?”
“Yes?”
The acting leader of the Lans’ gaze cut into him. “Have conviction in your words! Do you want to marry Wangji or not?!”
“Yes, yes I do!” Wei Ying shouted back, leaping to his feet. “Of course, I do. Who wouldn’t? He’s the most beautiful, amazing person I know.”
The old goat picked up his teacup and took a sip. “Good. Now, go away.”
Dazed, Wei Ying staggered out of the building. He paused on the steps where a certain stuffy jade stood.
“Lan Zhan? Is it true? Do you really want to court me?”
Those golden eyes met his silver ones.
“Mn,” he replied shyly. “If Wei Ying is willing.”
Wei Ying couldn’t help himself. He leaped into his zhiji’s arms. “Yes! Yes. I didn’t know I did, but I do. It’s the most amazing thing I never ever expected, but I really do.”
The smallest hint of a smile touched Lan Zhan’s lips. “Shameless,” he whispered with a pleased tone.
“That’s me,” Wei Ying crowed. “And you better get used to it because you can’t get rid of me now.”
“Will try,” he replied with a sigh.
“See? I told you you were funny,” Wei Ying said, laughing.
“Only for Wei Ying.”
Summary:
Despite all arguments from Jiang Fengmian, Madame Yu decides it is to Yunmeng Jiang’s benefit to dump Wei Ying on the Lans. Let the troublemaker be their problem. Her husband reluctantly agrees. After all, he wouldn’t want to undermine her. Jiang Yanli is thrilled, happy for her Xianxian. Jiang Cheng is miserable and pouty, resenting Wei Ying for leaving him and having his own life. However, the distance allows them to maintain a better relationship than they would have if he had stayed, though Jiang Cheng refused to like Lan Zhan even a little bit.
With the help of Huaisang, Wangxian had a perfect wedding at the perfect time and settled into the Jingshi in a perfect balance of messy order. As they travelled together, going where chaos is, they grew even closer, cherishing each other on their way to immortality. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren delighted in seeing their Wangji so happy and took great pleasure in spoiling all the children the couple collected during their adventures.
As for the Wen and the war, the Lan made liberal use of the de-aging talisman when they attacked, which led to Wen Qing taking over the Wen sect and a whole load of whiny children. They soon learned to fall in line under the threat of her needles and bitter medicine.
As for the Jin, Madame Jin got a hold of a copy of the talisman and banished Jin Guangshan to the nursery. Jiang Yanli took good care of him when she married in, helping him grow into a much better man than he did the first time.
All the sect leaders who knew about the talisman kept the secret to themselves, declaring the de-aging as heavenly punishment for the badly behaved. Lans don’t lie, after all, though one newly minted Madame Lan might stretch the truth now and then.
As for a certain Lan leader pouting in his corner, if Lan Qiren happened to pay him a visit to show him how a certain talisman worked, well, Sect Leader Lan wouldn’t speak of it when he finally came out of seclusion a week later.