Chapter Text
There’s a ninja in Sasuke’s backyard.
There’s a ninja in his backyard, and he’s terrified.
Sasuke can hear them, from where he is crouched behind his bed. Hear them prowl underneath the windowsill. Hear them touch the handle of the door.
It could be Itachi, Sasuke thinks, back to finish the job. Make himself the last Uchiha, and leave Sasuke the same as their parents. His heart is in his throat, beating a hole into his chest. Sasuke pictures those blood-red eyes scanning the lifeless compound. Maybe he’s drawn a knife, or a sword. Perhaps he’ll kill Sasuke with his bare hands.
Sasuke shuts his eyes and tries not to breathe, a kunai clutched between his clasped hands like a prayer. His back is to the bed he’ll never feel at ease in, the only one in the compound not-yet marked with blood. The one he’s slept in since he was a child.
The one he may never sleep in again.
It’s too late for realizations, not with maybe-Itachi right outside his bedroom window, but Sasuke knows the Uchiha compound isn’t safe. He’s laid awake every night for the past year. Nothing - nobody came. Sasuke curses his weakness; he’d let himself be lulled into a false sense of security. Let himself fall asleep, even after everything. He’ll lay awake, he realizes, a hundred more days, a thousand. Until he’s strong enough that sleeping won’t let him die.
If he survives tonight, that is.
Sasuke wonders why maybe-Itachi hasn’t killed him yet. It would be so easy. The window is latched, but that is nothing to the Clan-Killer, nothing to any jonin of Konohagakure. The door is locked, but so was everyone else’s on the day of the massacre. It hadn’t saved them then and it won’t save Sasuke now.
The sounds from outside have quieted. Sasuke can’t hear anyone anymore, no matter how much he strains. Slowly, carefully, he creeps to his windowsill and lifts the blinds. He’s expecting a Sharingan eye. He’s expecting life-ending genjutsu and brutal speed.
He sees nothing. The compound is clear. There’s nobody there; there hasn’t been, not since the ANBU left. Maybe Itachi took pity on him. Sasuke is preparing to check the other side when a noise echoes from the rooftops. It’s faint - barely noticeable, but Sasuke has spent the last year hearing footprints on tatami in his dreams.
He’s barely got the self-restraint to not bolt from the house instantly. It would be suicide; the shinobi would fall on him like a wolf might a lamb. He huddles in on himself more and tries not to breathe.
The creak of the front door sends Sasuke’s panic rising to unreal levels. He can’t hear anything over the pounding of his heart, over the imaginary slash of kunai through flesh and bone. There’s nothing between him and the Clan-Killer now - he might as well be dead.
The intruder pauses. Sasuke strains to pinpoint his location. He’s descending down the stairs. He’s ascending now. He’s in Sasuke’s parents former room. ‘Go away!’ Sasuke wants to cry. ‘They’re already dead!’
When the intruder finally leaves, Sasuke still can’t bear to move. He sits, trapped in place on the mat by his bed, for a minute - an hour - all night. It isn’t until the sun is peeking through the window that Sasuke blinks and lets himself breathe again. Itachi hasn’t killed him today, at least.
He’s lost, disoriented all of next day in the Academy. He doesn’t focus or think straight. When people talk to him, it takes him longer than it should to respond.
He can hear them talk about him - “he was doing so well before, it was like he’d gotten better, gotten over it…it’s like the day after all over again” - but he doesn’t respond. He hears them throw around words like “relapse” and “investigation.” He glared at them through his too-long hair.
The shinobi returns again in the middle of the night. Sasuke isn’t asleep. He’d stayed up to hear the man again, and one lone thump is all it takes to set him alert again. The intruder doesn’t enter Sasuke’s house this time. Instead, Sasuke hears him on the streets. He enters one house, then another.
The next day Sasuke goes to the Konoha Library and checks out every book he can on traps. He strings ninja wire over doorways and across windowsills. He hangs nets and smoke-tags and knives until the Uchiha compound is a minefield.
Sasuke is not an idiot. He knows they won’t fool Itachi, won’t even slow him down. But maybe, if he’s lucky, it’ll give him a clue as to his motives.
The books go into detail, mentioning traps that Sasuke hasn’t got nearly the ability to make. They mention things called seals and wards, using complicated math Sasuke has only seen in Academy textbooks. Sasuke can’t make heads not tails of it, but that doesn’t stop him trying.
Sasuke’s breathing has been steadily escalating for over an hour before he realizes he’s been panicking. The papers surrounding him flutter as he shoves his body into the corner of the wall, pressing his hands to his mouth and back against the wood. He can't figure it out, doesn’t understand it and if he can’t do it he can’t be safe.
Sasuke doesn’t know how long he stays there. His thoughts have been spinning fruitlessly, trapping him in his mind. Itachi could have understood it, Sasuke thinks. Nobody would have come into the compound if Itachi was in charge.
Maybe that’s why Itachi isn’t the one curled up against the wall, struggling to breathe. Sasuke uncurls his body. He’s shocked to see the sun setting. His stomach is growling. In his fervor to protect himself, he’s missed breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
There’s nothing in his fridge. He’d eaten the last of his noodles the day before. Which means Sasuke has to go out in the village to shop. At night. Which is when the shinobi comes.
He knows his fear is childish, but he can’t help it. Even though there isn’t any safety in the compound, Sasuke can’t bear to leave it. Not now. Not in the dark.
He considers going hungry and waiting till the morning. But Mother always said good shinobi ate proper meals, three times a day. And Father always said the Uchiha needed Sasuke to be a good shinobi, and nothing else.
‘What does it matter, anyway?’ Sasuke thinks sourly. They were dead. Eating three square meals hadn’t helped them against Itachi.
Regardless, Sasuke gathers his courage. He needs to be strong if he’s going to face the shinobi. If he’s going to keep his home safe. He picks his wallet and keys off of the dining room table and runs out the door.
The village is cold at night. Sasuke tucks his collar closer around himself, shivering. In and out, he tells himself. ‘Grab whatever and go.’
From outside, the store’s fluorescent lights are like a beacon. Sasuke slips inside, trying not to think about how exposed he is to Itachi - or anyone else, for that matter.
He buys instant noodles, rice, eggs, and meal bars. It’s plain food, but the last time Sasuke tried to really cook, he ended up scraping black stuff off his walls. The cashier smiled at him and Sasuke feels a strange wave of anger. His face twists into a snarl, and he grabs his food and runs out of the shop.
He doesn’t know why he was so angry, but all he wants to do is take his eggs and chuck them at the cashier’s stupid patronizing face. He’s stomping as he approaches the compound.
He slows, suddenly uncertain. The shinobi could be in there, right now, and Sasuke’s about to walk right into him. Suddenly reconsidering, he places his bags down. There’s a bench not too far from the compound. He can sleep there, just until the shinobi leaves in the morning.
But what if he doesn’t leave? Sasuke thinks worriedly. What if this time, he’s decided to stay? Or worse, comes out and finds Sasuke sleeping on the bench. Sasuke is mostly unarmed; a few knives and shuriken will not protect him from a full-fledged jonin. Not when a clan-sized armoury in the hands of S-rank ninja were batted aside like play toys.
No matter what Sasuke does, he thinks he will die.
If he’s going to die, he may as well do it on his feet.
Sasuke pushes himself to his feet. Groceries forgotten, he draws a weapon. It’s a kunai, a little blunt, but it’ll do.
He thinks he’ll use it to hack out Itachi’s eyes.
Sasuke’s feet take him into the compound. He doesn’t feel present. He doesn’t feel anything but cold frantic rage. He goes to his house first and finds the traps un-triggered. Sasuke checks each house in the Uchiha compound, one by one. His mind is miraculously still.
He hears a sound from the house to the left of him. Instantly, he charges towards it. All he can imagine is plunging his knife into traitorous flesh and blood - his own flesh and blood - the big brother he’s always looked up to, who has betrayed him.
The figure that flickers out of the room is faster than a shadow. Sasuke takes a step back, bringing his kunai to his chest. Red tinges his vision and he lunges for the man, fully intent on driving the blade into his soft eyeball.
His attack is dodged easily. Sasuke’s suddenly flat on his back, head scraping against the rocky ground, shocked into stillness.
And then he’s face to face with the eye of his nightmares.