Archive of Our Own

“I’m fine, I am more than capable of walking on my own feet!”

Raeliana’s shouts echoed through the high-ceiled halls as she marched through the mansion. Her feet did, in fact, hurt, but she wasn’t about to admit that. They had swelled so much she couldn’t fit into any of her old shoes, and numerous new shoes had needed to be purchased.

She’d needed new dresses too, new everything, and she felt a little like a whale, or perhaps an overweight penguin, waddling down the halls in so much fabric with her swollen belly.

She laid a hand on her stomach, rolling her shoulders as she paused for a moment, leaning against a window looking out over the gardens. It was late autumn, the air cool enough that frost gathered on the windows, making the grass sparkle in the early morning before the sun melted it away.

And yet she was so unbearably hot she had already started sweating despite only walking for a few moments at most .

And her feet really were starting to hurt, and her lower back was aching, the weight in her belly putting pressure on her back as she struggled to stay up.

Raeliana struggled to rub the small of her back, the pain nearly overwhelming there. But the sound of footsteps made her pause in her vain efforts to find relief, and she started moving again, determined to at least make it into the gardens.

She’d wanted a walk, all she had wanted was a short walk through the garden. To walk past the trees whose branches were alight with the colours of autumn, to feel leaves crunching beneath her feet, to feel the crisp wind on her cheeks and in her hair. She had wanted to take a look at the flowers still in bloom, wanted to sit beneath one of the trees and close her eyes and breathe in the cold air until her lungs burned with it.

Not that Noah had been very keen on her taking a walk. She was nearing her eighth month of the pregnancy now, and while Noah had treated her like she might break at any moment before, that was nothing to how he was acting now.

The doctors and healers had even said that she was doing well, that there weren’t any complications. They did tell her that she should be resting more often now that the baby was becoming so much bigger, but they hadn’t told her to stay off her feet entirely.

And she’d been resting all day! She’d been lying in bed reading for most of the day, head against Noah’s side while he’d read through some paperwork that had needed his attention.

But now she wanted to move, wanted to step outside for just a few minutes.

“ Raeliana!”

She wrinkled her nose, chest heaving as she tried to pick up her pace. She didn’t realize how slow she moved until she was being chased, struggling to make it down the hall before Noah or Adam caught up with her.

She’d snuck out when Noah had fallen asleep, changing out of the nightdress she’d still been wearing and into a soft, billowing gown that had been a relatively new purchase after she’d broken down in tears when her favourite dress no longer fit.

Normally she would have tried talking Noah out of buying her something expensive and new, but in a case like that…

Well, exceptions could be made. And it had made her feel very happy when she’d seen the new dress, in the same deep forest green as her old one.

Noah must have awoken no more than a few minutes after she’d slipped from the room, and she could hear the sound of his footsteps echoing behind her, the sound growing louder with each passing moment.

She grit her teeth, annoyed at how slowly she moved now. And even more annoyed with how quickly Noah did.

And that he was chasing after her in her own home .

Pain spiderwebbed from her lower back, scraping burning claws over her nerves and up her spine, momentarily snapping her from her thoughts. She felt herself stumbling, the pain catching her off-guard. She threw out a hand to press against the wall, to steady herself long enough to catch her breath, for the pain to grow dull enough that she could walk once again.

She was starting to think that she preferred it when she was nauseous.

Raeliana didn’t make it much further before Noah finally caught up with her, taking hold of her wrists and spinning her around with far, far too much ease.

He smirked, smug with the victory of catching her mid-flight. But she could see consternation in his face, too, in the slight wrinkles around his eyes and his mouth even as he smiled, in the slight furrow of his brow that she would have missed had she not known him for so long now.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked, his narrowing ever-so-slightly. A dare.

“I was going out for a walk,” she said, lifting her chin, trying to school her face into nonchalance even as the baby kicked just below her ribs, the sudden shock of it nearly making her gasp.

His grip on her wrist tightened, drawing her slowly back the way they had come. “You snuck out like a criminal while I was asleep?”

“There’s no crime in taking a walk,” she argued, trying to pull back.

“You didn’t even tell me,” there was the slightest hint of a pout now, although his eyes were still bright with mischief.

“You were asleep, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“ Or ,” he mused, leaning so close their brows nearly collided. “You were trying to sneak away.”

“So what if I was?” She asked, tilting her head to the side, trying to ignore how warm he was, how nice he smelled.

She was planning to say more, but found that she couldn’t as the baby kicked again, harder than before. Instead of any coherent words, she gasped, a tangled sound that might have been a curse spilling from her mouth instead.

“That hurt , baby,” she groused, rubbing her belly where the little foot had been. “You’re not being very nice.”

Noah sighed, crossing his arms, some of the humour disappearing from his face. “The doctors said you should be resting.”

“I’ve been resting all day,” she argued, wincing at the dull throb in her back. “I want to go out. I want to take a walk.”

“What if something happens? What if you get hurt?”

Now it was Raeliana’s turn to sigh. “I’m not made of glass, Noah. I can go into our garden for a walk.”

He regarded her cooly for a moment, the hand at her wrist sliding down, fingers tangling with hers.

“Alright,” he said at last, squeezing her hand.

Raeliana felt her mood brightening, a current of excitement arcing through her like lightning in the beginnings of a storm. “Really?”

He smiled, lips curling up into a devilish grin, his eyes once again glittering with mischief. “If you want to go out so badly, then why don’t we go out.”

She frowned, confusion wrapping itself around her mind like a woolen scarf in the winter. It itched, heavy and thick, and she shifted on her feet, uncomfortable.

“What do you mean?”

He smiled wider, that smug look returning. “My dear Raeliana, I think we should go on a date.”

***

“My dear Raeliana, I think we should go on a date.”

“It will probably be one of our last chances to spend time together before the baby comes.”

Noah’s words echoed in Raeliana’s ears as she made her way through the mansion once more.

She grimaced, her back and feet already aching as she waddled down the hall, heading towards Noah’s study.

He’d proclaimed that they’d needed to go out, enjoy each other’s company before the baby was born. He’d even gone so far as to promise to plan everything himself, so that she could rest before going out.

But Raeliana had seen the way his eyes had sparked, making the deep gold look nearly inhuman. He was planning something, she was sure of it.

But she’d decided to go along with it, anyways. At the very least it meant she would get a chance to go out for a little while, exhaust some of the energy that had made her so restless. And she would be lying if she said it didn’t feel nice to put on a pretty gown and have her hair done up for more than just sitting in bed all day.

And she would be lying, too, if she said she wasn’t looking forward to it.

She was so excited that there was a bounce in her step as she made her way towards Noah’s study. She imagined what he might have planned, if they would be stopping at one of the high end restaurants he so loved to make last minute reservations at. Or if they would go to a theatre to watch a show.

She rolled different ideas over in her mind as she paused at the door to his study, wondering what he would choose. From how overbearing he’d been from the moment they’d realised she was pregnant, she doubted it would be anything particularly strenuous.

There would be no long walks or trips beyond the city or attending any parties or balls. Not that she particularly wanted to attend a ball, where so many eyes would be once again fixed on her.

She knocked, humming tunelessly. Dancing would be fun, but she wouldn’t really want anyone watching. Partly because she didn’t want anyone picking apart her appearance and dancing skills, especially when she already felt like she was coated in sweat from the short walk from her room to the study. And partly too because she wanted to spend time with just Noah, without other people getting in the way.

She didn’t wait before stepping into the study, finding Noah still seated at his desk. He was already dressed and ready in a casual suit, and Raeliana’s heart stumbled a little as she watched him shuffle through some of the papers, his mouth quirked to the side, so lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed her come in.

She squeezed a ribbon stitched over her heart, forgetting for a moment the aches in her body and the sweat already coating her skin.

He really did look like an angel, even if she knew what lurked beneath his handsome features.

But her heart still stumbled, tripping like a child still learning to walk. How could it not when he looked up and met her gaze with his, when his eyes began to shine as their edges crinkled and his lips curled up into a true smile that so few people got to witness.

And she loved what was beneath all his good looks and faux charm too. Even the devilishness hidden beneath his skin. His true self, shared with her and few others, warming her heart with a gentle, steady heat.

Noah’s brow wrinkled, his tone teasing as he set his papers to the side. “Are you with me?”

She blinked, cheeks heating as she was drawn from her reverie. “Are you all ready to go?”

He nodded, standing and walking around his desk to pause before her.

“What were you thinking?” He asked, reaching up to twist a lock of her hair around his fingers.

Fat chance I’m telling you .

She winced; there was no way he would let her live down what she had been thinking.

So instead she shrugged. “Just thinking about what you had planned for today.”

His smile made her feel wary, hair rising on the back of her neck.

She narrowed her eyes. He was definitely planning something.

“Why do you look so suspicious?”

“I feel suspicious,” she muttered, taking the arm he offered anyways.

He pouted, just the smallest bit, and Raeliana had the overwhelming urge to reach up and pinch his cheeks. Just a little, only a little.

She wrinkled her nose, tucking her hand against her side to stop it from reaching his cheek against her will.

I’m pretty sure this is what they call cuteness aggression .

He really was cute, especially when he sulked, trying to tug on her heart with his lips sticking out, his eyes wide and round, his brow wrinkled in petulance.

She ground her teeth together, annoyed that whatever he was trying was working. She could feel some of her suspicions melting away, the urge to squish his cheeks between her hands now overtaking her mind.

“I can’t imagine why you would think such a thing,” he said, feigning innocence as they made their way to the entrance, the carriage waiting to whisk them away. “My only intention is to spend time with my beautiful wife.”

Raeliana narrowed her eyes, now convinced he had some sort of ulterior motive. He was trying too hard to be nice, there was certainly something up his sleeve.

She lifted her chin as he offered her his hand, helping her down the stairs from the front door, guiding her towards the carriage. She was certain she had a pretty fair idea of what he was plotting. Taking into consideration how overprotective he had been for the last number of months, how quickly he had chased her down the previous day, and the cunning light in his eyes when he’d suggested they go out, Raeliana figured she knew exactly what Noah was plotting.

It was very likely an attempt to get her to concede, to let herself be taken care of and rest in bed for the remainder of the pregnancy. And very very likely for a time after it, if Noah’s current mother hen-like behaviours continued.

Which meant that she just had to outdo him, and prove that she wasn’t quite so delicate as he thought.

Although he did have the upper hand, since he knew the exact itinerary for the day, putting Raeliana at a disadvantage. Her back was already aching horribly, and she could feel pain spider-webbing over her sides and up her back, towards her shoulders. She didn’t know how long she needed to hold out for, how much of the day Noah had scheduled.

She let him help her up into the carriage, ruminating over her theories as he ensured she was comfortable, his expression barely masking the concern that so often lingered there these days.

“Are you alright?” He asked, settling in the seat across from her, looking like he wanted to reach out and hold her again.

She did her best to fix a relaxed expression on her face, even as her body itched from how hot she felt. Walking through the mansion had made her overheat even more than normal, and she could feel the sweat that clung to her skin, practically dripping down her back.

But she still smiled, folding her hands over her belly. She would not lose. “I’m feeling great.”

***

Things were not going to plan. Which was truly such a shame considering how brilliant Noah had thought it was at the time.

Raeliana had been pushing the limits of her health since the moment they’d found out she was pregnant. And while he did understand that she wasn’t a porcelain doll, still he had worried. Her soul was tethered to her body properly now, with no fear of falling into a sleep she would never awaken from. But still he couldn’t shake the fear that she would collapse as she had before, that she would push herself too much and go beyond her limits and grow sick.

It didn’t help either that the nausea and sickness she had struggled with early in the pregnancy had terrified the life out of him. He’d wake in the middle of the night when she did, racing for the bathroom in a cold sweat, her hair clinging to her face. He’d did his best to help, holding her hair back for her, tucking her back into bed when she was too fatigued to put up a fight.

She’d gotten headaches too, ones that she had complained made her head feel like it was split in two. And they would last for days and days, paired with a dizziness that made her so unsteady on her feet some days that he wouldn’t be more than a few inches from her side, lest she stumbled and fell.

Which is something that did happen, more than once, although Raeliana would not admit it out loud.

He’d felt like he’d been losing a year of his life every day as his anxiety continued to mount, and as Raeliana continued trying to pretend like she was perfectly fine.

He’d seen her collapse multiple times since he’d known her, he’d nearly lost her to kidnappers, to fire, to an explosive masquerading as a jewel.

There was of course, the true explosives as well, in the royal palace, that she had very nearly been caught up in.

He figured he’d earned the right to be a little overbearing, a little anxious.

But the day before he had felt almost at peace. He’d been sitting on the bed next to Raeliana, who had started dozing even as she struggled to continue reading the book in front of her. He’d been sorting through some paperwork, periodically reaching out to rub her shoulder or readjust the pillows and blankets to be more comfortable for her.

And when she’d fallen asleep he had set aside his work to curl beside her for just a moment, he’d sworn it was only for a moment. To trace the outline of her face, to run his hand through the softness of her hair, even tangled as it was.

He hadn’t anticipated falling asleep, and yet it hadn’t been hard, nestled as he was with his precious wife, someone he loved so much it made his chest ache, just a little. Something he had never imagined he would feel, or would let himself feel.

But when he’d awoken he’d realized he had made a very big mistake, Raeliana gone from the room, the door still swinging shut in her wake.

Catching up to her hadn’t been hard; she’d grown much slower and much less adept at evading him as the months had progressed. But his mind had still been half asleep, part of him still lost in his dreams next to his sleeping wife. And he’d been incredibly annoyed, more so than usual.

And he had thought, as she’d argued with him because she’d wanted to wander outside, in late autumn, alone , when he had once watched her slam into a wall and fall backwards from dizziness, perhaps he should just let her. Let her wander outside, let her go out and act as though nothing were different and her body was currently being pushed to its limits.

He knew getting out and staying moderately active was good and healthy, but going out alone, in late autumn without so much as a coat was certainly pushing it. Especially when the doctor had told them that now she should be resting a little more, particularly if she was experiencing any body pain.

But maybe if he took her out, if they went out and did everything they normally did, perhaps she would acquiesce, finally coming to terms with the fact that she could not still do everything that she normally did.

And also that he would very much like her to not try and do everything she normally did, because it was scaring away years of his life.

But perhaps if they went out she would concede, and she would let him take care of her just a little .

That had been his thought, anyways. But now he was walking with her down a winding path through one of the public parks in the city, their stroll nearly at an end, and she didn’t show even the slightest hint of discomfort.

The day was cold, the first taste of winter in the breeze as it rustled through the remaining leaves still stubbornly clinging to ashen branches. And yet Raeliana had shed her jacket, her pale cheeks flushed a soft pink. Her eyes were closed, her head thrown back as the wind raked freezing fingers through her hair, her hat clasped in her free hand so it did not fly away.

He had chosen the park because it had been the most beautiful, with a grand hedge-maze and beautiful blooming flowers that rivalled even the royal gardens.

He would have taken her to the royal gardens, which were even more grand and sprawling, but he did not want to risk the chance of his brother finding them, and harassing them incessantly until they could escape.

Noah had thought that a long walk in the brisk autumn air would surely tire Raeliana, and she would at the very least ask to sit down on one of the many benches that dotted the walking paths. Except that she had not . Even when he’d been sure she’d been gazing longingly at some of the benches tucked beneath a canopy of flowers, she had not asked to sit or rest.

And he couldn’t exactly ask her if she wanted to rest either, not when he was feigning calm, pretending as though she were not eight months pregnant and should really be getting off her feet since they’d been walking for over an hour now.

He had a sneaking suspicion Raeliana had caught on to his ploy, but he could not voice that question either. Instead he could only continue on, biting his tongue when he wanted to drag her to one of the benches and insist she sit, insist she rest and have some water for a few moments.

He comforted himself with the knowledge that they were almost done their walk, that they would be boarding the carriage again soon and heading to their next destination.

He’d booked a reservation for a new restaurant, one with a waitlist so long it would take a year at the minimum to get a seat.

Thankfully , he had been able to pull some strings and get them a reservation for that afternoon.

He’d heard the food was good, and that it was something Raeliana would enjoy, with an extensive menu that conveniently contained over half of the foods she was so often craving these days.

The interlude would be good, it would mean that Raeliana would get a chance to sit and eat and refresh herself. And it would serve as a break for him, from his worries over his plan potentially not going as he wanted it to.

Raeliana muttered something under her breath, the hand clutching her hat sliding to her back, pressing against the heavy fabric of her dress.

Noah wasn’t thinking about his plan when he reached out, pressing his hand against the small of her back, worry like oil in his veins.

“Are you alright?” He asked, icy hands grasping his chest. Perhaps he had been too callous, too hasty in enacting such an absurd plan. And now she was likely hurting, her body in pain because he wanted to prove a point-

His train of thought was abruptly stopped, utterly derailed as Raeliana’s hand dropped to her side and she grinned as though nothing were the matter. “Of course. I was just readjusting my dress.”

He dropped his hand too, pulling it back to his side as he gathered up the loose ends of his thoughts, tucking them away. He could tell she was lying, had caught onto her tell even before they’d been officially, truly engaged and married. But he couldn’t say anything as Raeliana continued to beam, feigning a sunny, unbothered demeanor.

Surely if she was well enough to lie to his face, she was well enough to continue with their day, wasn’t she?

He plastered on his own fake grin, quashing the desire to pick her up and drag her home. For the moment, anyways.

The carriage came into sight and Noah stifled his sigh of relief, pausing next to it as he helped Raeliana up and into her seat. He climbed in next to her, checking on the additional cushions they had added for her before taking his own seat.

He could at the very least make sure she was comfortable .

Raeliana’s eyes fell closed and she slumped back, sighing as though she were content. Noah couldn’t help seizing the moment, leaning forward ever-so-slightly, catching her gaze as her eyes fluttered open.

“Did you need a rest?” He asked, smirking. “You seem delighted for the chance to sit.”

Raeliana’s eyes narrowed, the corners of her lips turning down, furrowed lines appearing on her brow.

He resisted the urge to reach out to caress her cheek, to twist a lock of her hair around his finger. But it was particularly difficult, paired with her pink cheeks and the look of irritation he’d always thought was quite adorable on her face.

“I was just appreciating how soft these cushions are,” she groused.

Liar .

He continued smiling anyways, crossing his arms over his chest. “Is that so?”

She bobbed her head. “Yes, they’re nicer than the ones we have at home. I think we should get some more.”

He made a mental note to ensure at least a few hundred of the cushions were purchased and distributed throughout all of Raeliana’s favourite places to sit.

A wince crossed her face, but it was just as quickly as it had appeared, and her hand moved to the side of her belly, like she could smooth away whatever had hurt her.

“Where are we headed to next?” She asked, a slight strain in her voice as she shifted, clearly not as comfortable as she had suggested.

He leaned his head back, watching her silently for a moment.

“Noah?”

He smiled wider, closing his eyes. “It’s a surprise.”

***

Ruined plan aside, Noah was at least glad that Raeliana seemed to enjoy the food.

Part of him had worried that she would grow sick, as she sometimes still did. As though a smell or a particular texture ruined the entire meal, inciting horrible nausea. But the food must have been quite good, or perhaps the baby was also enjoying the meal, or maybe a little bit of both, because she was beaming with genuine delight as each new course was brought out.

Noah bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anything too snarky, not wanting to ruin the moment. Even the baby, it seemed, had calmed down a little, slowing the usual ceaseless kicks Raeliana had complained of around this time of the day.

He would tease her later . When there was no one else to watch.

They were nearing the end of their reprieve, slices of cakes on delicate, flower-shaped dishes before them. While Raeliana poked at a candied flower he surreptitiously checked his itinerary for the day.

A dress fitting, for some new gowns that she would feel comfortable in. No matter how she groused that he did not need to buy her many things, he did feel it was necessary to buy her new gowns. If not because he wanted to at least shower her a little in as many fine dresses and jewellery that he could than for the more utilitarian demand of her actually needing new clothes.

The doctor said the baby might yet still grow more, and as they were nearing the winter Raeliana would still need new, warmer clothes to combat the cold. All of her usual winter attire had been purchased before she’d been pregnant did not fit in the least.

And he did not want her to become distressed as she had the last time she’d tried wearing something that no longer fit.

Her tears had broken his heart in two and he’d nearly fired every dressmaker in his employ and run the rest of them out of town.

He hadn’t had any wicked intent when he’d scheduled the fitting, instead just hoping to kill more birds with the same stone.

Then he wanted to take her out on the lake, a fireworks display planned for that evening for many of the noble families in the city.

The boat was already prepared, resplendent with out of season blooms scattered around the interior and the finest of cushions for her to lounge against while enjoying the fireworks, and no doubt trying to stab him with her usual verbal barbs.

There wasn’t anything particularly wicked about that either, although he figured the gentle sway of the boat in the waves would make her feel a little off-kilter when they docked again.

He hadn’t planned much afterwards, having hoped that the earlier walk would have been all that was necessary. But if Raeliana had caught onto his schemes he would have to come up with something more elaborate. He highly doubted one fitting and an evening boat ride would convince her to capitulate.

He tucked his list back into his pocket, trying to curb the desire to shift uncomfortably as she plucked sugary flowers from his plate.

He really did want her to rest more, was desperately wishing they were at home and she were tucked somewhere safe. Surely it wasn’t so bad, was it? The mansion was quite large, and they had every comfort at their fingertips. He made sure she had any book she wanted to read, and any food she wanted, particularly after the incident with the broth he’d hunted down to help with her nausea.

And though he was so often busy, he did his best to handle some of his work sitting with her so he could at least spend a little time with her each day.

Although perhaps that was more for him, as he found he missed her presence a little more with each passing moment.

“Noah?”

He looked up as Raeliana called his name, and from the bemused expression on her face it was clear that hadn’t been the first time she’d called out to him.

“Hmm?” He beamed, feigning innocence. “What is it, dear Raeliana?”

She scoffed, rolling her eyes, but a smile played at the corners of her lips. “I wanted you to know that the baby is also enjoying lunch today.”

His smile faltered for something else, something akin to awe and delight twining together like one of Raeliana’s attempts at embroidery. “Pardon?”

She grinned, beckoning him over to her side. “I’m only doing this since you’re being so nice today.”

Her tone was far too saccharine to be a coincidence, so sugary that his teeth ached. If he’d had any doubts that she’d caught onto his little ploy they were washed away like sand beneath ocean surf. She most certainly knew what he’d been hoping for today.

But there was something in her eyes too, a genuine joy as she gestured to her side. “The baby’s saying how much they liked lunch.”

She took his hand to press to the side of her belly, and there, beneath the layers of her dress and his gloves, he felt the tiniest of kicks. A little foot, kicking again and again, demanding to be noticed.

His smile was true now, one of delight as he felt the baby continue kicking.

“They’re saying ‘thank you papa for lunch.’”

Noah started, something about her words catching him off-guard. Her tone had softened, losing the forced sweetness she had coated her voice with before. “I think she’s very happy.”

“She?” He was still off-guard, the image of a tiny child running unchecked through the once silent halls of the mansion giving him pause. His chest felt heavy, like something was pressing down against it, warmth bubbling where the pressure was greatest.

He couldn’t put a name to the feeling, only that it was something near happiness, though the edges were still stained with something close to melancholy.

A small child, with round cheeks and bright green eyes much like Raeliana’s, grinning up at him while eating lunch. Kicking little legs while she ate. Chattering in the way only little children did. Calling him father.

He bit the inside of his cheek, forcing an unexpected lump from his throat.

Heedless of Noah’s inner tumult, Raeliana only nodded. “I think the baby will be a girl.”

He cleared his throat, drawing his hand from her belly. “Oh? And how do you know?”

She shrugged, looking smug, as if she knew a secret he was not yet privy to. “I just know.”

He smiled despite himself. He’d wanted to tease her, but he couldn’t find it in him. Perhaps he hoped it was a girl, too. With Raeliana’s bright eyes and her smile and her intelligence and her masterfully hidden cunning.

And maybe a little bit of his, too.

“I suppose we will just have to wait and see.”

Raeliana blinked at him, seeming caught off-guard.

“Were you expecting a witty rejoinder?” He asked, spinning a teacup round on its saucer.

She furrowed her brow as he smirked, for a moment looking like she was about to snap out a sharp remark. But her expression quickly clouded over, her nose wrinkling as she suddenly glowered down at her plate.

The sudden shift gave him pause, although he knew he should have been used to the mood swings by now. “Raeliana? Is everything alright?”

He didn’t know how, but she managed to glare harder down at the plate, as though she were trying to disintegrate the remainders of her yet-unfinished dessert.

“Raeliana?”

She grumbled something incoherent, fiddling with her fork.

He leaned forward, concern twisting through his ribs like climbing ivy. “What’s wrong?”

She heaved a long sigh, dropping her head so quickly he feared she would smash it against the table. He did not immediately register her hands reaching up to catch her head, and he instead moved to catch it in her stead.

Raeliana blinked at him, looking dazed as crimson spread across her cheeks and ears, her cheeks cradled in his palms, her own hands pressing against the backs of his.

“Noah?”

He blinked, not daring to move for a moment.

“What are you doing?”

He drew his hands back, coughing as he took his seat again, trying and failing to ignore the heat climbing up his face. “I thought you were about to faint again, and I wanted to catch your head before you gave yourself a concussion.”

Incredulity was written in the lines of her smile, but blessedly Raeliana didn’t comment further. Instead she only shrugged, picking awkwardly at her dress.

“I had forgotten what I was going to say,” she admitted, looking more than a little ashamed.

He folded his arms on the table, nodding. “Ah.”

Raeliana scowled once more, looking less than pleased. “It was quite a good remark, too.”

“It must be quite frustrating to have forgotten such an alleged good remark.”

Her gaze snapped up to meet his. “What are you suggesting?”

He chuckled, beaming wider, delighted that he’d succeeded in teasing her. “Nothing, my love.”

Her nose wrinkled, and she crossed her arms, looking away from him. “You’re utterly insufferable.”

“You’re the one that married me.”

She was at a loss with that for a moment, but she quickly regained herself. “It’s quite common for pregnant women to forget small things.”

He was already well aware that it was, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have at least a little fun.

“And it’s already happened a few times,” she grumbled, more to herself than him.

He was quite aware of that, too. He’d caught her staring off into space, her eyes cloudy as she struggled to remember what she’d forgotten. Turns of phrase, where she had set a particularly favoured hair ribbon, what book she had been reading most recently.

He couldn’t resist needling her further, thinking this the perfect opportunity to recommend resting more. Letting herself be taken care of. “Well, perhaps if you were willing to rest more at home-”

She waved her hand, rolling her eyes at the familiar argument. “I will not even consider it.”

He huffed, although continued to smile. He was certain she would change her tune soon enough.

***

Noah felt sweat beading on his brow, and he turned away to brush it away.

It seemed Raeliana’s will was made of iron, and perhaps his was nothing more than cardboard, or sodden paper, because he could feel his resolve flaking away with every passing moment.

Raeliana had seemed pleasantly content at the dress fitting, choosing new fabrics and designs that she liked. And she had loved the fireworks display, nestled comfortably against the cushions as she was, commenting on the different lights and patterns that bloomed in the sky.

But still no concession, no admittance that he was even partly right.

So he had suggested another walk, since she’d so seemed to enjoy the last one. This time through the city, so they could stop into any shops she wished.

It had been over an hour when he suggested that, and the oily anxiety that curled in his belly like a serpent had reared its poisoned head once more. He could feel some of his rationality slipping away, and he had to tuck his hands against his sides or into his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to offer to help her, to take her arm or press his fingers against the small of her back.

He didn’t want to be out anymore, he was growing far too nervous. They’d been out for long enough, hadn’t they? They had far exceeded her need to be out and move around, had they not?

Perhaps he was being melodramatic, as bothersome as Raeliana often whined about him being. But he was also anxious, a feeling he was still not entirely used to, although since meeting Raeliana he had been introduced to it more and more.

Raeliana, for her part, seemed wholly unperturbed, too busy browsing a night market tent nearly drowning in books.

“Oh, this one looks wonderful,” she said, her cheeks the pink of the sunset sky, a crescent moon smile dancing on her lips as she held the book out towards him. “Although I don’t know if it’s something you would particularly enjoy, Noah.”

He took it anyways, flipping through the pages, feigning nonchalance. It was another romance novel, similar to the others that Raeliana seemed to love so ardently.

“Oh, it must be a series,” she chattered, focus shifting to a few books sitting in a row. “These are all by the same author, and it looks like they feature the same characters.”

Noah gestured to one of the knights that had been trailing them as he covertly paid for the entire collection. He would have them carry the books back to the carriage, to await them when they were done.

“What do you think?” She asked, turning back to him, eyes glittering like unusual gems beneath the sun.

He offered a small smile, handing her back the book. “I think it would go quite well with the rest of your collection.”

She pouted a little, crossing her arms. “If you don’t think it’s interesting you can just say it.”

“Well, sometimes I like to read something new. Maybe next time I’m in the mood I’ll try it.”

She snorted, setting the book aside to take his hand. “I expect you to tell me all about what you think when you do.”

He let himself be dragged through the crowds of the market, pausing in front of stalls and tents carrying an assortment of paraphernalia, from perfumes to jewellery to fried foods to gowns to plush toys.

Some of his worry melted away, like ice beneath a warm, spring sun. But still he could feel the remnants of it, an astringent aftertaste in the back of his throat that would not dissipate no matter what he ate or drank.

More than a few times he caught Raeliana beginning to lag, could see the way she blinked back vertigo, the way she sometimes wobbled on her feet. And he would be an idiot if he didn’t notice the way she kept reaching around to her back, fingers scrabbling for a spot she couldn’t seem to reach.

Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore, the rising and falling tide of his anxiety wearing down his nerves like a stone losing its form beneath the weight of the ocean. She had winced, clearly trying to massage her upper thighs without him noticing, for perhaps the eighth time in the last fifteen minutes.

“Perhaps it’s time we headed home,” he suggested, taking her arm, hoping to steer her back in the direction of the carriage.

Raeliana narrowed her eyes, looking suspicious. “But there’s still so much to see.”

He sighed, knowing his defeat was at hand.

“My dear Raeliana, for the love of the goddess, can you please just sit down. ”

She blinked at that, seeming at a loss for words, and it gave him the opening he needed to steer her towards a collection of quaint tables and chairs clustered before a charming little shop. A rose-coloured canopy was spread over the tables, casting them in a soft pink glow. He had her sitting down, and had finished ordering a light snack and water from the waitress who popped her head outside to check on them before Raeliana found her voice once more.

“I thought you’d finally come to your senses and realized I didn’t need to be babied,” she protested. There was a lilt to her voice though, and it belied the harsh scolding she was trying to convey.

He caught the quirk of her lips even as she glared at him. Or rather, tried to glare at him. But it was clear she was silently revelling in something within her mind, the sea glass green of her eyes sparkling like there was sunlight dancing in their depths.

Noah leaned back in his chair, sighing as he crossed his arms. Raeliana mimicked his pose, arching a brow, not bothering to hide her smirk now as she waited for him to speak. Expecting him to speak.

“I must admit,” he began, speaking slowly, watching as Raeliana tipped her head to the side, the golden-brown of her hair falling over her shoulder like a waterfall. He felt a little like an explorer, like he had discovered a rare, beautiful wonder. He wished that they were closer, he wished that the street was not so crowded, he wished that he could not see the waitress spying on them through the darkened window of the café.

He cleared his throat, trying to push away the distracting thoughts like cobwebs. Raeliana, sensing his hesitancy, dared to smile a little wider. She pressed the tips of her fingers to her cheeks, looking far too amused as she regarded him. “Admit what, Noah?”

He closed his eyes, sighing again. It would be easier if he wasn’t looking at her. “My intentions for taking you out today were not entirely pure.”

A trickle of laughter curled through the air, and he dared to crack his eyes open, his breath stolen as Raeliana dissolved into a fit of barely contained giggles. “When are your intentions ever entirely pure?”

He couldn’t help smiling then, the soft pink of peonies blooming in her cheeks, her hair falling over her shoulders in soft waves, the tiniest of snorts escaping from her nose as she tried to reign in her laughter.

He hadn’t realized how quiet and grey his life had been, how absent of music and colour. He had been lacking something essential, and it had only been when Raeliana had entered his life that he’d realized what it was.

It was her, he’d been missing her.

He waited until her laughter finally subsided, and he reached for her hand before he continued. “I had hoped that going out today might make you reconsider how insistent you’ve been to refuse to rest. Or accept any help or support. Or acknowledge that right now your needs are different.” He said the final words as impassively as he could, but he couldn’t completely stop the ire that stained them.

Raeliana sighed now, but she still took his hand, tangling her fingers with his. “I figured that was what you were up to.”

He’d figured she was on to him. There wasn’t much he could hide from the sharp sea-glass green of her eyes.

“So why admit to it?” She asked, arching a brow.

“Since you know so much, why don’t you tell me?”

“I want to hear you say it.”

He closed his eyes once more, pressing the heel of his hand against the spot between his eyes. He must have been losing his touch, she had him thoroughly beat.

“I had a feeling you knew what I was up to,” he said, opening his eyes once more, his desire to catch sight of her smug little smile overcoming his bruised pride. “And that you would try to beat me at my own game.”

Her smile grew a little wider, and he once more wished that they were closer, that there were not so many people around. He would have liked to cup her cheek and kiss her gently, but he supposed that would have to wait.

Raeliana opened her mouth to reply, but her expression faltered, her free hand dropping to her belly as she winced, sucking in a long breath.

Any playfulness Noah felt was stifled by the heavy, choking feeling of anxiety descending over him. He was standing before he realized he’d moved, reaching for her with his other hand.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Her expression softened, whatever had been paining her passing. “I’m okay, Noah.”

He must have looked unconvinced because she took his hands, squeezing them together as she held his gaze. “I promise I’m okay. The baby was just kicking quite hard.”

He sat down slowly, not wanting to let her hands go. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Sometimes it just hurts. But it means the baby is healthy and very excited.” She smiled. “I imagine this little one will not give us much rest.”

He squeezed her hands tighter, waiting until his breathing was even once more. “If I’m being honest, this was why I couldn’t continue.”

“With your scheme?”

He huffed a laugh. “Yes, with my scheme.”

Her answering smile was soft, if not a little curious. “Because of the baby kicking?”

“Because I didn’t want you to be in pain or discomfort.”

Her shoulders slumped a little, and she leaned forward, her hair pooling on the table. “I understand why you’re concerned, Noah, I really do. But most days I feel like I’m being treated like a glass doll you’re worried might break.”

He was worried, but he kept his mouth shut, knowing now was not the time to say that.

“I would just like to feel like I’m a person. Not a fragile bauble that is kept in a glass case.”

He waited a moment, to see if there was more she wanted to say. But Raeliana only nodded her head, as if to signal that she had said her piece.

“And I understand why you feel that way. Perhaps sometimes I can be a bit…” He mulled over his actions over the past few months. “A bit overbearing. And overzealous.”

Raeliana snorted, and he pinched her hand in retaliation, smirking as she glowered at him.

“But I am worried. There haven’t been many complications, but I still see that you’re in pain, even if you try to hide it. And I feel as though I am often reminded of when you’ve collapsed in the past.”

“Noah, that was different. Now that-”

He waved a hand, and she grew quiet. “I understand the circumstances of why you were ill then, and why you collapsed, but I can still worry for the wellbeing of my wife.”

Her cheeks flushed, and he allowed himself a touch of satisfaction.

They were both silent for a few moments, considering the others words.

“Maybe there is a compromise,” Raeliana offered, tracing her thumb over the side of his hand.

“What did you have in mind?”

“I can make more of an effort to take things a bit slower, and let you know honestly when I am feeling unwell. And not try to escape from you or Adam or any of the guards when I am feeling overwhelmed.”

He nodded. “And what of me?”

“ You can stop being quite so overbearing,” she smiled as she let go of one of his hands, drumming her fingers on the table. “Not accompany me everywhere I go. Not stop me from leaving the mansion.”

Her expression softened, and she stretched her fingers out on the table. “Take me out on dates like this.”

“I think I can manage that.”

“ Without having any ulterior motives.”

Noah laughed, lifting her hand to brush his lips against her knuckles. “Now that I can’t promise.”

Raeliana rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair, a weight seeming to have lifted from her shoulders. She rolled her head back, eyes falling closed as she sighed.

“What is it?”

“Well,” she said, her words turning to a slight squeak as she cracked one eye open to peek at him. “You might have been maybe just a little, tiny bit right.”

He lifted his brows, unable to stop the smile that slid across his face. “Oh?”

She wrinkled her nose, glaring at him. “Just a little .”

“Of course, I could never be entirely right.”

She snorted, eyes falling closed once more. “I think I might have overdone it, just a little.”

“Are you in any pain?”

She shook her head, a hand snaking behind her back. “My back just hurts. A lot.”

“Does it often hurt?”

A pause, then a begrudging nod.

Noah paused too, propping his chin on his palm as he regarded her quietly for a moment. “Would you like me to try and help?”

Raeliana blinked, seeming to consider his words. He suspected she’d never actually considered asking for help, but he also suspected he was partly to blame for that. Perhaps if he hadn’t been so overzealous the last few months she would have been willing to approach him with anything truly ailing her.

The thought made him wilt, like a dying plant beneath an unrelenting summer sun. It seemed he might have been his own worst enemy.

Raeliana’s voice drew him from his thoughts, and catching her gaze he felt himself straighten, no longer a dying weed in parched, cracked earth.

“If it’s not too much trouble,” she said, casting her eyes down to the table, the ground, a spot on her gown he couldn’t see, her gaze flitting anywhere other than meeting his own. “Do you think you could massage it a little? To help?”

He hummed, smiling as she fidgeted in her seat, not even making eye contact with the waitress as she dropped off their food and left.

“I’d be happy to.”

She blinked. “Are you sure?”

“If it would make you happy, I would hire the most talented masseuse in the country.”

She snorted. “Well I don’t want the most talented masseuse in the country.”

“How about the world?”

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “I just want you, Noah.”

“As you wish.”

She poked at the small round cake in front of her, strawberries arranged in a circle around the edges of the cake. “And I want another one of these.”

He lifted his arm to wave the waitress back over. “I can have a full order of them sent to the mansion.”

She opened her mouth, looking like she was ready to argue, but she paused, taking a bite of her cake instead. “I would like that very much.”

Noah laughed, warmth blooming within him like he was made of summer. Like there were wildflowers between his ribs and sunshine in his veins and birds arcing in the cavity of his chest.

The day had not gone the way he had expected it to at all, and he had never been more glad for it. Had never been happier that a scheme had gone awry, that he had lost.

Across from him sat Raeliana, his wife, happy and content as she chattered about something new. About the books they had looked at, how she was looking forward to reading something new. And he couldn’t help looking forward to the days ahead too, when he was certain more of his schemes would come undone beneath her hands. He had already lost his heart to her, he was more than happy to lose everything else, so long as it meant he could stay with her forever, in this life and every one after.