Chapter Text
Hello, my name is Saiki Kuriko. That name may sound familiar to you, dear reader. But whatever you may think is likely incorrect, to some degree.
I am not Saiki Kusuo. I am a completely different person, a complex being, though a near-exact replica of my “brother”.
Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? I woke up in a lab, covered in weird science juice. Whose lab, exactly? Saiki Kusuke. I later learn that the madman is my ’older brother’ apparently. He ’made’ me, you could say; though saying that sentence brings great discomfort.
Well, he has plenty of reasons to create a clone of his younger brother. But the bottom line is that he’s jealous and incredibly insecure. He wants control. And he, luckily, had no control over Kusuo’s life. Had. Kusuke is a very brittle, fragile man with an ego at the height of a skyscraper. The problem is that this skyscraper has no support; held up by the glass trophies of his success. He hates feeling inferior to his kid brother.
So, he made me. The way he did it… It isn’t for me to know. But now, he not only can control a Kusuo (though not the Kusuo), he can also send me to school, put me in a uniform, and get me to spy on my ‘brother’. Fan behaviour, if you ask me.
Everything in Kusuke’s dumb plans has a reason. Except for me. I have no reasons, no goals, no plans for the future, pretty much nothing. I am incapable of feeling romantic desire. That’s the difference between me and Kusuo; he’s a person and I am not.
I’m so close to being a person, so close to being a fully sentient being, but there’s a little bit that’s missing. Contrary to popular belief, Kusuo does seem to have feelings. He does that weird face when he sees coffee jelly and that one guy in the other class (of whom he is strangely enamoured with.) He also gets unreasonably grossed out at bugs, which I think is rather odd, as he really could just make them disappear with a blink, but I suppose it isn’t my place to judge, as an oddity myself.
Me, on the other hand? There’s nothing. Kusuke really likes pretending that he’s perfect and makes no mistakes, ever. Another thing about Kusuke is that he really likes ignoring problems. The big problem is that I don’t want to exist.
I like to live with the mindset that there is a reason for everything. Does that mean we have to understand everything about everything fully? Of course not. But there’s always a reason. The one thing I’ve been trying very hard to find a reason for is why I should want to exist. There’s no self-motivation going on here. I live to serve someone else and pretty much nothing else.
Reader, this might sound very rude, but why haven’t you killed yourself? There’s at least one reason if you’re reading this now. Don’t try to be edgy and say that there isn’t a reason. You might be alive against your own will as of now, but that still counts. So you have a reason and you might not even know what that reason is.
All living beings want to be alive, it’s in the code. I am barely living. If you pressed your ear against my skin, (which I would never let anyone do in the next century) you would hear a clock and the sound of metal clanking against metal. The flesh is all real, by the way. (No clue where he got it. Probably not ethically sourced.) But all of my bones, joints, vital organs, batteries, etc., are made from metal. I am not human and will say it until you believe me.
I've tried. To die, I mean. And it never works. Kusuke keeps a two-hundred terabyte hard drive with my memories on it, being updated every day. As well as ten backup copies of the body I have. That I know of, at least. So basically, trying to stop living is impossible.
So there. That is my dilemma. The only thing keeping me alive is Kusuke’s sheer will and his bullshit plan.
Said bullshit plan was why I was now sitting in Kusuo’s bedroom, on a little wooden chair, which was clearly meant for children under the age of ten. Kusuo was sitting in his own chair, elbows on his desk, heels of his palms pushed hard against his eye sockets. “Why are you here?”
“Dunno'. For the record, I don’t want me to be here either. Take it up with your brother.”
Kusuo seemed out of it for a second. I guess that he’d never heard anyone else speak telepathically, other than himself. He seemed to consider actually going and finding his brother but thinks otherwise, continuing his interrogation of sorts.
“Why did that guy send you here?”
“To spy.”
“Why?”
“Man, this is a lot of ‘why’s. Well, Kusuke wants to… ‘Make sure you’re out of trouble’. Or something. I’m here to do my job because there’s not much else for me to do,” I responded. Kusuo was seemingly not satisfied with this answer.
“Tell him to leave me alone.”
“Why?” I reply, mimicking what he said earlier. He was not amused, turning around in his chair to look at me.
“Because I know what he actually wants. So go away-“
His message was cut short by Saiki Kurumi knocking on the door, unknowingly interrupting a serious telepathic conversation. “Dinner’s ready!” I couldn’t eat yet, but maybe getting to know my new 'parents' would be a good idea. I already quite like Kurumi.
As I stepped out of the room, my ‘brother’ gave me the coldest telepathically projected death stare.