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Michael was sitting on his desk chair with headphones in and a computer in front of him. His online friends were speaking and he would respond into through the headset. This is what Michael did on his break from tour. They had a few days off in between the Australia and New Zealand leg and the North American leg of the tour.
Michael spent most of his time at home while the other boys went out. He spent time helping his mom with dinner and talking to his dad about tour. They missed him a lot and after that accident with the pyrotechnics they were desperate to have their baby boy back home and away from any type of danger. Michael enjoyed all those hours of sitting on the couch with his head on his mom’s shoulder and his dad’s arm around his shoulders. He felt safe again.
Right now his mom was downstairs watching soap operas and his dad was asleep since he had to get up early for work. The only thing he could hear were the clashing of swords and voices yelling.
The rest of the boys were always out or in their own homes. Calum came over once and they ran around in the backyard in their swimsuits. He thought it would be a good idea to make your own homemade slip ‘n slide. They had put a plastic sheet out in the grass and sprayed it with water so it became slippery. After a few burns and bruises they decided to actually go to the beach. So they picked up the rest of the boys and spent the whole day at the actual beach
The next day Michael spent a day home alone. He was in his man cave staring at the TV. The TV wasn’t even on. He was thinking. Thinking about what his life had come to. He still has a hard time believing that he part of an internationally successful band. He wanted to be in band when he was younger, but he pushed that dream back because he was so sure that he would’ve never made it. It takes a lot to convince Michael he was talented. He’s insecure. Everyone’s insecure about themselves. Those who aren’t are lucky. Michael didn’t like his singing voice. He didn’t think he was ‘amazing’ at playing the guitar.
He still does all those things. He does it for the band. He just closes his eyes and imagines that he’s somewhere else or he looks over at his band mates for reassurance. He wouldn’t have been able to do it by himself. Luke’s really good at keeping his self-esteem at a steady level. He knew when Michael needed to hear a complement or when he needed a hug and someone to talk to. Ashton was good at advice and Calum gives warm cuddles, but Luke? Luke just knows Michael better. That short time when they hated each other made their relationship stronger. They looked past the flaws that the other carried and learned to love each other (in a brotherly manner…maybe).
Michael felt a wet, warm tongue collide with his cheek and he flinched away in surprise. That wet, warm tongue belonged to his dog, Stanley. He was a full sized poodle and managed to push Michael down onto the floor licking at his face. Michael laughed and scratched behind his ears. Stanley was really old. He had no teeth and he got tired really fast. He rested his head on Michael’s tummy and let out a breath of air through his nose like he was sighing.
Michael laid still and let out his own sigh. He really did make it. He hasn’t seen Stanley in months. In those few months he has been playing in arenas to thousands of screaming fans that actually enjoyed their music, he’s been in interviews, on the radio; he’s been featured in magazines, and on TV. Their music has been played on radio station that Michael used to listen to all the time when he was younger. Michael exhaled one more time and smiled at the ceiling
Maybe things really did turn out the way he wanted them to.
Now Michael was playing League of Legends. He missed his computer on tour, but playing shows was so much better. Sometimes when the real world wasn’t that nice he went into the video game world where he could play with people that didn’t know who he was or what he did. It was a different kind of escape.
Michael could be himself. He didn’t need to watch what he says in fear of saying the wrong thing and having that one mistake define who he is. He didn’t need to watch his actions. If he messed up he could always start over. Sure people weren’t always that nice, but in the real world it’s a whole lot worse for him. There are people out there that just hate his existence. There are ‘fans’ out there that think he doesn’t belong in the band. When he got hit in the face with fire there were people laughing and saying that he deserved it. There are people out there that are just too ignorant to take someone else’s feelings into consideration because they think ‘oh he’s famous he can take it’ when in reality he’s just another human being and people are being shitty. Being famous get’s you a lot of attention, but not always good attention. The media always tries to erase your feelings and make you seem like some stupid, self-centered asshole. They try to make you into to something you’re not and frankly, Michael is quite tired of it.
Michael didn’t see the door open. He was too engrossed in the game. What did catch his attention was the huge figure wrapped in a bed comforter. Michael gasped and fell back in his chair.
“Shit,” Michael breathed clutching his chest, “Luke. You scared me.” He just grinned and tugged the blanket around himself tighter.
Luke used to always come over around midnight when he knew Michael would be up late playing. Looks like Michael hasn’t changed his night routine much.
“Are you winning?” Luke asked as he flopped onto Michael’s bed.
“Sure,” Michael said when in reality he was getting destroyed. He’s been away from his computer for too long, “What are you doing here?”
Luke already had his phone out and was scrolling through twitter, “I came for a late night cuddle.”
“Well, I just started.” Michael knew Luke wasn’t going to leave until he got what he wanted. It was useless to try and kick him out.
“I’ve got time.” Was all Luke said before gluing his eyes back on his phone.
* * *
A little less than an hour had passed and Luke started to become annoying. He
abandoned his phone on the bed and stood behind Michael whining.
“C’mon Mikey! I’m getting really cold.” Luke said dragging out the ‘y’ in Mikey.
“Then go get under your blanket.” Michael replied equally as annoyed as Luke.
“But I want you under there with me.” Luke whined. That sounded wrong.
There was laughter coming from the headset, Luke had his nose shoved into Michael’s cheek so everybody was hearing their conversation.
“Fuck off, Luke. You came here. Feel free to leave.” His online friends were already joking about them and Luke just huffed and moved his head down into Michael’s neck. His arms were around Michael’s waist and his hair was tickling Michael’s cheek.
His breath fanned Michael’s neck and sent a shiver down the older boys spine. It really wasn’t anything new. Michael and Luke were always close. They were the two that spent most of their free time backstage cuddling.
“But we always cuddle before I leave.” Luke whispered. Michael tensed as he felt Luke’s lips and teeth softly graze the sensitive skin on his neck. They were close, but never this close.
Michael’s heart sped up a little and his fingers twitched, “For fucks sake, Luke.” He whispered. Luke licked his lips and his tongue barely touched the older boy’s skin, but his breathing hitched and his heart started racing.
Then one of the guys from the game brought him back to reality, “Michael, do you want us to leave you alone with your boyfriend?” He had a joking tone, but Michael was defensive.
“What? He’s not my boyfriend!” Michael shot back. He didn’t get to hear their response because Luke sighed and removed his arms from around his waist and head from his neck. He didn’t turn around to look at Michael. He just laid back down on the bed with his back facing Michael.
Michael felt guilty. All Luke wanted was a cuddle. And Michael hasn’t seen him in two days. He’s actually confusing Michael. They spend nearly everyday together and Luke’s been clingier than usual. Luke has never acted this way. He’s refusing to look at Michael and Michael wants to know what’s up.
“You know what guys, I’m out. We’re getting crushed anyway.” Michael said turning around in his chair. They started whistling and he got a chorus of ‘good luck’s and ‘get some’s. He just rolled his eyes and logged out of the game and placed his headset on the keyboard.
He got out of his chair and turned around to face Luke. He was now under the comforter he had brought with his head poking out at the top. He was staring at Michael with wide blue eyes. His hair was messy and his cheeks were stained a light pink. He looked…adorable.
“You want to change?” Michael asked. He made his way to the dresser and pulled out two t-shirts and two identical pairs of sweatpants. Luke was already out of the bed and standing when Michael turned back around.
“Are you okay, Luke?” Michael asked stopping in front of him and handing him the t-shirt and sweatpants.
“Fine, why?” Luke questioned as he took the clothes from him. He didn’t look like it. There was still a frown plastered onto his face.
“Well you kinda left suddenly and curled yourself into the blanket.” Luke wouldn’t look him in the eyes. It was really obvious that he was hiding something. He doesn’t do a good job in hiding it.
“I’m okay.” It was a complete lie and Michael could see through it. There was a bit of iciness in his tone.
“Hey,” Michael reached up and grabbed Luke’s chin and forced the taller boy to look at him, “If it was something I said, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-“
“Michael, don’t” Michael stopped talking and looked at him. He was an inch or two shorter and he had to tilt his head up a bit. Luke’s facial expression went from embarrassed to angry in a matter of seconds. His eyebrows furrowed and he was looking at Michael with intensity. Did it scare Michael? No. Luke gets grumpy when something bothered him.
“Don’t what?” Michael was becoming annoyed. Luke was never really good at expressing his feelings. It was a hassle to get them out.
“I said I was fine and I am.” Luke said and grabbed Michael’s wrist and pulled his arm away from where it had preciously been holding onto Luke’s chin. It was a rough grab and Michael stepped back. Now he was a little bit scared. Luke was bigger and stronger and he had never grabbed Michael like that before.
“What’s your problem? I was just trying to play a game and suddenly you’re all mad. I didn’t do anything!” Michael said exasperated. He pulled his hand out of Luke’s tightening hand and glared at him.
“I don’t have a problem. I just came over for a cuddle! I was just feeling lonely at home and I thought you’d make great company.” Luke said crossing his arms over his chest.
That last statement made Michael blush. It made an unknown feeling erupt in his stomach. It was great knowing Luke would always came to him, but also guilty because he had been blowing him off for some stupid game on the computer.
“Luke, if you were feeling like that you could’ve just said so.” Michael softly said trying to make that feeling in his stomach go away. He hadn’t noticed before, but he and Luke had suddenly gotten a lot closer.
“I didn’t know how to tell you.” Luke said barely above a whisper.
They stood there in silence just looking at each other. Both were holding their breaths as if a single noise could break that trance. Luke’s eyes darted down to Michael’s lips. He ran his tongue over his slightly dry, chapped lips slowly, causing Michael to so the same. The only thing Michael could hear was his heart thumping loudly in his ears. The only thing Michael could see was the way Luke was playing with his lip ring. He was tempted to rum his thumb over Luke’s bottom lip. That feeling in Michael’s tummy didn’t go away, it only got stronger.
And then suddenly Luke’s lips were on his.
Michael’s breath got caught in his throat and the feeling in his stomach spread all the way to the tips of his fingers. Luke’s lips were warm and wet against Michael’s. His heart was beating abnormally loud; he wouldn’t be surprised if Luke could hear it.
He pulled away too quickly. He didn’t even give Michael a chance to wrap his arms around his neck. Michael’s heart dropped when he saw the expression on Luke’s face. He looked scared and like he regretted everything.
“I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t- I was just- Fuck! I’m so sorry, Michael!” He rambled. He dropped the clothes and shoved passed Michael.
It took Michael a second to actually process what just happened. Luke kissed Michael. Michael didn’t kiss back. Luke thinks he ruined everything. Oh no. Gosh, he so stupid. Everything is coming back to him now. Luke’s been tip toeing around him for weeks! Their cuddles became less frequent. Sometimes Luke would refuse to room with him whenever they slept at a hotel. Michael just thought that he was getting tired of him and needed some space. Luke was balling his eyes when Michael got burned on stage. He tried climbing in after him into the ambulance, but the paramedics wouldn’t let him. Michael can’t believe he didn’t notice all the hints Luke had dropped.
“LUKE!” Michael yelled chasing after him.
Michael managed to make it down the stairs without falling. He saw Luke waving goodbye to his mum who was still watching those soap operas.
“Luke!” Michael yelled again. Luke’s shoulders tensed, but he kept walking. Michael hated when Luke was being stubborn. Damn, that kid doesn’t know how to hide his feelings.
Michael had no choice. He ran at him and jumped wrapping his arms around his neck and legs around his waist. Luke had stumbled a little, bit managed not to fall. The older boy was actually expecting him to fall, but forgot that Luke was 6 foot 3 and occasionally worked out with Calum and Ashton. Michael mentally slapped himself.
“Michael! What are you doing?” Luke questioned loudly. He could hear his mum laughing from the living room. Apparently this was nothing new for her. Luke and Michael used to always be this physical until they grew over 6 feet tall. They used to play wrestle and Michael would always lose because he had no muscle mass and was skinny as fuck.
“I was really hoping I would knock you down.” Michael huffed.
“You’re not that heavy, Michael. Get off.” Luke said already starting to move to the front door.
“I am heavy! And no. You are not leaving after what just happened.” Michael said already frustrated with the situation. He tightened his arms and legs and buried his head into Luke’s neck.
Michael’s mum had turned off the TV and was walking towards them, “Boys, I’m going to bed. I have no idea what happened, but I expect you to solve whatever problem you guys have. Night Michael.”
“Goodnight Mum.” Michael said giving her a kiss on the cheek. Michael’s mum knew he had hated Luke before they were friends. She was always trying to encourage him to give the, in her words ‘the poor boy a chance’. Even after they became friends Michel and Luke sometimes got into a few arguments where Michael’s mum had to break it up.
“Goodnight, Karen.” Luke said waving to her.
“See you, Luke.” And she left.
“Michael, get off.” He said once they couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore.
“No. We have to talk about this.” Michael said shoving his head back into Luke’s neck.
Luke was already opening the door when he said, “There’s nothing to talk about. I know you don’t feel the same way.”
Michael started to feel bad. He didn’t know Luke was hiding all these feelings. He was too caught up in his own thoughts that he was blind to all of Luke’s. Michael should’ve paid more attention. It was his own fault Luke felt the need to keep it a secret.
“Luke you could’ve talked to me about it. I would’ve listened. I’m not going to judge you.” Luke had already made it out the door and down the porch steps. Michael refused to let go.
“No. I couldn’t talk to you about it. What was I going to tell you ‘Oh hey Michael, I have a crush on you hope it doesn’t ruin our friendship’? I knew you don’t like me back so what was the point?” Luke said. He was angry again and halfway down the driveway.
“You didn’t know that. Just because I talk about girls all the time doesn’t mean I’m straight. Luke, if it was bothering you for so long you didn’t have to keep it to yourself. You have me and the rest of the band. Please don’t leave. I want to talk to you.”
“Michael not right now. I don’t want to make it awkward between us. I really don’t, but I just want to go home. You made it clear that you don’t like me. I’m sorry for kissing you like that.” Luke made it to the car, but Michael had no intentions of watching him leave.
“You didn’t even let me kiss back.” He whispered into Luke’s ear.
Luke’s whole body froze with his hand halfway to the door handle. Michael felt a blush creep up his cheeks as he slowly unraveled himself from Luke. It was now or never. Luke wasn’t going to open up to him so he might as well open up to Luke.
Michael walked around his tall frame and stood in between Luke and the door, “You pulled away without giving me a chance. I was going to kiss you back, Luke. I was.” Luke’s eyes were wide and surprised. Michael leaned up and rested his forehead against the taller of the two.
Luke just shook his head, “Please tell me you aren’t lying.”
“If I were lying I would’ve pushed you away when you kissed me. If I were lying I would’ve let you leave. If I were lying I wouldn’t do this.” Michael tugged Luke down by the collar and pressed their lips together.
Luke let out a breath he had been holding and pushed Michael’s back into the car door. This time Michael actually kissed back soft, and slowly loving the way Luke’s mouth felt against his. Everything stopped and Michael felt that weird feeling go off in his stomach again as Luke laid a hand on his waist and the other cupped his cheek. The feeling didn’t stop at his fingertips, it went all the way down to his toes and it felt like he was flying. They were both smiling into the kiss which resulted in clashing of the teeth, but neither cared.
They pulled away for air and stood there in a peaceful silence. Just looking at each other and smiling. Then Luke was pulling the shorter boy in for a hug. He buried his face in Michael’s hair liking the scent of it. Everything about this was perfect. Michael felt safe and complete in Luke’s arms. He felt like home away from home. He finally felt like he belonged. This is where he belonged. Wrapped around in Luke’s arms.
The peaceful silence was broken when Luke spoke, “I’m so glad you didn’t let me leave.”