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Namjoon isn’t sure when his little crush developed.
He and Yoongi had always been the closest out of everyone in Bangtan, despite how much they argued and insulted each other. Seokjin called it their “lovers quarrels”, and the rest laughed it off, knowing it was just a joke and Yoongi and Namjoon were not really lovers. The two knew it themselves as well, and would make their own jokes sometimes. “Yoongi is being a terrible husband, he refused to welcome me with a kiss today.” Namjoon got a slap to the head for that, and he insisted on still getting that kiss until he and Yoongi were toppled over on the practice room floor, their faces crimson with laughter.
Then one day it stopped being a joke. When one of the others would point out Namjoon’s “heart eyes”, he would no longer laugh, just bow his head and try uselessly to hide the blush creeping onto his face. The others didn’t pick up on the hint however, and continued to tease him for it.
“They should recreate the rookie king kiss that you forced upon Hoseok and I.” Taehyung suggested one day in reference to the pair during a practice break. The others starting yelling in agreement, and suddenly the practice room felt much too warm for Namjoon.
Yoongi shrugged, a playful smile gracing his face. Of course he would have no issue with it. “It’s only a kiss, right?”
Right, Namjoon wanted to say. But he couldn’t. It wasn’t just a kiss for him, and before anything else could happen he stood up and left the room, feigning some excuse about his stomach hurting and needing to get some medicine. A concerned Yoongi asked to go with him, but Namjoon shot down the offer, a little harsher than he intended but he didn’t care. If he looked back, he may have seen the hurt expression that replaced the smile on Yoongi’s face only seconds before.
When he arrived at the dorm, he went to his room immediately. Normally he would take this rare alone time to write some lyrics or think of ideas for songs for their upcoming album but he collapsed on his bed instead, hiding under a blanket and facing the wall. He barely noticed when the others arrived home thirty minutes later, the normally loud maknae line being much quieter than usual. Someone knocked gently on the door after a few minutes, and Namjoon ignored it, expecting Jungkook to come in and get his clothes before heading off to shower. Instead, the door creaked open to reveal the person he wished least to see right now. He closed his eyes quickly, pretending to be asleep but his acting was shit and Yoongi scoffed.
“I know you’re awake Namjoon. I saw you close your eyes.” Namjoon didn’t move until he felt a hand on his back and practically jumped away from it. Yoongi ignored the gesture and sat on the edge of Namjoon’s bed, placing another hand on the younger man’s shoulder.
Namjoon definitely did not wish to talk but he knew the other would not be leaving anytime soon. “What do you want, hyung?” Namjoon was not angry, so he wasn’t sure why he sounded a bit beyond pissed off. He didn’t apologize for it though, and Yoongi sighed heavily, getting up before making his way to the door.
“Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” The door slammed behind him, making the entire room shake. The soft chatter from the other room stopped, and remained that way as another door, probably the door to Yoongi and Seokjin's room, slammed again.
Breakfast the next morning was incredibly awkward. Namjoon and Yoongi sat on opposite sides of the table, and when their hands accidentally brushed while reaching for a bowl of food they jerked them back. It would’ve sparked laughter from the others if they did not witness the spat between the two the night before. When Jungkook came to bed that night, he asked Namjoon if anything happened between him and the other rapper, to which Namjoon ignored. He was sure Seokjin asked Yoongi a very similar question as well.
They had an interview show to attend today, and Namjoon nearly cursed when he remembered, knowing almost for sure that he would be forced to interact with Yoongi at least once, and after what happened last night he definitely did not wish to speak with him. Faking a stomach bug wouldn’t work, so Namjoon knew he had no choice but to suck it up and hope things wouldn’t be more awkward than they needed to be.
At the interview, Namjoon and Yoongi were placed a few seats away from each other, and Namjoon nearly sighed with relief. Unfortunately, he was seated next to Taehyung. As much as he loved the younger male, he would never deny that Taehyung could be annoyingly nosy. It came as no surprise when Taehyung leaned over to whisper in Namjoon’s ear during a break. “What happened between you and Yoongi hyung?”
“Nothing happened, Tae. Now hush, we’re going to be on air soon.”
“It doesn’t seem like nothing happened. Yoongi was really upset last night.” If Yoongi heard Taehyung, which he probably did considering how loud he was being, he was very good at pretending he did not. He played with a ring on his pinky, twisting it around the finger. Namjoon was well aware of that nervous habit that nobody else, not even Yoongi himself, appeared to notice. He only did it when he was very upset, and the thought formed a lump in Namjoon’s throat.
He didn’t want Yoongi to be upset. It was the least of his desires, and he felt quite guilty for it honestly.
Taehyung opened his mouth, ready to ask another question when the interviewer spoke up again, he loud voice signaling that they were back on air.
She continued to ask the same ordinary questions, stuff such as their ideal type and how they felt about certain events going on the industry right now. Each boy took their turn to answer, and when it was Yoongi’s turn Namjoon wondered if he could just walk off to avoid hearing the answer to the question.
“So, Suga, recently you released a solo. The rap itself is very emotional, about heartbreak and betrayal. Was that based off of any feelings you’ve experienced lately.” Almost instantly the group went stiff with tension, but Yoongi chuckled.
“Actually no, the rap itself was not based off of any experience I’ve lately. But recently, I have been hurt by someone I was close with. I’m not sure if I hurt them as well. They act like it though, so I’m curious about what I did.” The interviewer shook her head sympathetically, and the rest of the show carried on as normal.
A few days passed before Namjoon debated on whether or not he should go to Yoongi and apologize. It wasn’t apologizing itself that scared him. He was just terrified of having to give an explanation. In all honesty he didn’t even know what he could say. Sorry for ignoring you hyung, I’m not angry. I was just scared of kissing you in front of everyone because once I started I don’t think I could have stopped. Yoongi would call him gross, push him away, and things would forever be more awkward then they were now.
Or he would understand. Yoongi was an understanding guy, open minded and willing to accept things that he didn’t necessarily agree with. Maybe he wouldn’t have an issue with Namjoon liking him. The latter possibility was enough to bring Namjoon to his feet, and lead him to the door of Yoongi and Seokjin’s room. Seokjin was out with the rest of the boys, so unfortunately Yoongi would know exactly who was at the door. And the chances of him answering were next to none. However, that didn’t stop Namjoon from hesitantly bringing his fist to the door and knocking twice.
No answer. But the door was unlocked, and Namjoon slid in.
Yoongi was leaning back against the wall adjacent to his bed, eyes closed and headphones blocking out all sound. However, Yoongi must have sensed the other’s presence because his eyes flew open immediately, flaming with rage and an emotion Namjoon could not identify.
“Get the fuck out of my room.”
That did not faze Namjoon at all, and he took a seat on Seokjin’s bed. “Yoongi, listen I-”
“I said get the fuck out.” He carried the demand out slowly, almost taking a breath between each venom-filled word. If Namjoon was smart, he would have followed as Yoongi said to avoid an almost certain death. But his high IQ proved useless as he shook his head and even went to sit on Yoongi’s own bed.
“Please hyung. I’m sorry.” Yoongi’s had opened his mouth to protest, but remained open and speechless as he heard the apology. Namjoon rarely apologized, almost as seldom as Yoongi, and the rapper’s shock was more than apparent on his entire face. He recovered quickly though, and leaned back with an angry huff.
“Yeah, and so what?” Something changed in his eyes as he looked down. “Can you tell me why you’ve been acting like this though? I’m not going to apologize because I know I’m probably not in the wrong but. . . yeah, I would like to know.”
Namjoon took a deep breath and bowed his head, but was cut off but Yoongi before he could even speak. “Was it the skinship that got to you? You just had to prove your heterosexuality? You were that scared of being perceived as gay or something?” Namjoon’s head shot up in shock at the claim.
“No, Yoongi I. . .” He trailed off before swallowing and attempting to speak again, “I was scared to kiss you because I think I might like you.” Fuck. That sounded a lot cheesier than it needed to, and Namjoon internally cursed himself, even more so when the older started giggling, fucking giggling, and then laughing so hard his face turned red and he was holding his stomach while gasping for air. Everyone hated feeling embarrassed and Namjoon was no exception, and he was about to leave and hide in his room for probably forever when he felt a hand wrap tightly around his wrist.
“No, I’m not laughing at you Namjoon. Well actually I am, not for the reason you think though.” Before Namjoon could blink, the other male had stood up and then the felt his back hit the wall a bit more rough than necessary.
“You’re an idiot, Namjoon.” Yoongi was much shorter than Namjoon, yet in this moment he felt much smaller than him. Yoongi had leaned in, his breath tickling Namjoon ear. “I guess I’ll need to show you what you missed out on a few nights ago.”
Namjoon had no time to protest before a pair of lips crashed onto his own. Yoongi always bragged about how skilled he was with his tongue, and Namjoon could confirm that yes, he was when Yoongi’s dragged his tongue over Namjoon’s chapped lips and then dipped into the surprised younger rapper’s mouth. He didn’t go much further before Namjoon’s mind caught up to what was happening and began to kiss back as he pushed Yoongi towards his bed until he fell back against the mattress.
Yoongi stared up and blinked in surprise at the change in positions. “I always thought I’d be the one on top.” He smiled the signature, cocky smile that Namjoon loved so much and pulled the younger man down until their noses were touching. “Now show me just how sorry you are, maybe I’ll forgive you.”
“What the-” Seokjin did not expect the sight of the two rappers curled up under Yoongi’s covers. He would’ve felt happy that the two finally made up and realized their painfully obvious feelings for each other, but his gaze travelled to the floor, less than happy to meet a pile of discarded clothing. The gasp must’ve been louder than he intended, because Taehyung and Jimin ran in, before the latter cheered.
“Namjoon and Yoongi had sex! Pay up Jungkook!”
“Be a bit louder, I don’t think the neighbors can hear you!” Seokjin hissed, but Namjoon and Yoongi had already woken up, their eyes wide in terror. Yoongi tried to explain that this isn’t what it looks like, but his lack of shirt as he sat up did not assist in proving his claim.
Seokjin left, muttering something about giving them time to clean up, and as soon as the door closed Yoongi was on top on Namjoon and nearly strangling him. The younger only smiled mischieviously, pecking the other’s lips as he stood up.
“Get your clothes, and maybe we can have a round two in the shower hyung.” Yoongi nearly tackled Namjoon again when he heard the maknae line plus Hoseok giggling behind the door.