Chapter Text
“Hey beautiful!”
“Ugh, go away loser.”
“Hi sweetie!”
“Bleh.”
“Hello lovely!”
“Get lost!”
Ataru’s night was going just about as expected. Still, in his boundless optimism, Ataru set his sights on another pretty girl—
“ Darling.”
His blood froze.
“ Let’s try not to make a scene at my middle school reunion, okay?” Lum punctuated her words with a few light zaps.
Ataru considered his options. On the one hand, he could stubbornly persist in pursuing every girl with a pulse, get a power plant's worth of electricity sent through him, and leave the party maidenless, or he could just go get something to drink and cut his losses.
“Hmph.”
For the first time in his life, Ataru made the sensible decision, and he strode off to the snack bar in a huff. Why couldn’t Lum just understand that he needed to enjoy his youth to the fullest? If she was going to drag him to the other side of the galaxy for some stupid party, she could at least let him talk to some lovely ladies. Maybe one of them would even like him back some day.
“One cola please.”
“Of course sir,” the guy behind the counter droned “how will you be paying for that today?”
“Uh…” Ataru fished around in his pocket, eventually coming up with a few coins. “How’s this?”
Wordlessly, the clerk fished out some horrifying looking contraption and pushed a few buttons.
“In this currency, the price is ¥576,694,500,000,000. You are ¥576,694,499,999,545 short.”
“You want five hundred trillion yen for a soda?!” Ataru nearly screamed.
“That is the price, sir.”
“You just gave the girl before me a drink for free!”
“It’s ladies’ night.” The clerk shrugged. “Seeing as you’re not a lady, please pay now or move aside for other customers.”
With a grumble, Ataru walked away from the bar. “Damn, what I wouldn’t give to be a chick right now.”
Ataru stopped in his tracks, and a brilliant plan coalesced in his mind.
“Unless…”
Ataru could feel people’s eyes on him.
It was unsettling. He had always had a tendency to fade into the background (at least before Lum showed up). Could they tell? Were they looking at his wig, the padded chest under his uniform, or his makeup? Did they know he was crossdressing?
Ataru’s survival instincts yelled at him to run, to get as far away from here as possible. Still, some force inside him compelled him to keep moving forward. The clerk’s listless eyes widened a little as Ataru approached.
“Hello! One cola please!”
“Ah! Uh…yes, here you go, miss.”
Miss.
Something about that word was invigorating. It was success and happiness and in your face and so much more. Ataru flashed the cashier a smile and a wink, and stepped back out towards the mingling crowd.
He caught sight of Lum, who seemed to be looking around for someone. Probably him. But, somehow, her eyes passed right over him. Wait, could this mean…?
Jackpot.
“Hey girls, you’re looking really pretty tonight!” Ataru cooed to a group of babes standing nearby.
“Oh, thanks! You too! I love your eyeliner.”
“Yeah! It works really well for you.”
“Oh, uh, thanks.” Of all the responses Ataru had been expecting, this hadn’t been one of them.
“That uniform is the same as Lum’s, right?” one of the girls asked inquisitively
“Y…yeah.”
“Oh! So you’re with her. Are you two friends?”
“We are…” Ataru hesitated, “She said she wanted me to meet people from her home planet.”
“Glad to meet you too, although I’m surprised she didn’t bring that boy she’s always going on about.”
“Ahahaha.” Something told Ataru this conversation would go nowhere good fast. “Speaking of, I think I see Lum calling me over. See ya!” Ataru waved goodbye, and the other girls returned the favor with kind smiles.
That was weird. Usually girls—other than Lum, of course—wouldn’t give Ataru the time of day. Maybe Ataru could get used to this. But, first, he needed a rest. He plodded over to one of the tables in the back. Nursing his cola, Ataru surveyed the party.
There was Lum, who had apparently given up on finding him, chatting with a few friends of hers. There were groups of guys, groups of girls, and a few from the former trying their luck with the latter. With a little separation, it all seemed so trite.
“Hey, baby.”
“...”
“Hey! Beautiful!”
“Oh!” Ataru nearly jumped out of his chair. That guy was talking to him .
“Mind if I have a seat?” The boy smiled.
Unfortunately for him, Ataru knew that sickly-sweet smile all too well. He was usually the one pulling these stunts, after all.
“No thanks, not interested.”
“Not even your name and number? Come on, just that much?”
Ataru grimaced. The only girl he had seen handle this kind of situation was Shinobu. What would Shinobu do…
Wham!
Ataru delivered a swift uppercut to the boy’s jaw.
“Mmph!” The boy stumbled back, wide-eyed. “What the hell was that for!”
A hush fell over the room as everyone’s eyes turned towards the two of them, then it erupted in whispers.
“I was trying to be nice to you!” The boy continued, now staggering towards Ataru. He moved closer slowly, venom in his eyes. “I oughtta—”
“Hey!” A wave of iridescent hair filled Ataru’s vision. “Leave my girlfriend alone!”
The room was a cacophony of noise. The boy seemed absolutely terrified.
“Come on, Ataru!” Lum turned back to him, her fangs gleaming. She grabbed his hand, pulled him to his feet, and led him out the front door.
Lum’s…girlfriend. Maybe it was all the eyes on them, or his racing heart, or the way her hand interleaved with his, but somehow…
It felt good.