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The end of the world sort of had this way about it where everything just felt absolutely hopeless. Nobody wanted to feel that way, like there was nothing left to live for, but most tended to. Still, there had to be something - there always had to be some foolish hope that kept you going, because otherwise, you wouldn’t still be going.
It had been almost two decades since the beginning of this whole thing, but it felt like it had been longer. There were multiple points in time when you tried to leave the Quarantine Zone in the hope that it was better someplace else, but there was just one thing tying you to it. You had friends here.
Growing up in a Quarantine Zone meant that you went to school with people your age. Even if your life hadn’t been normal since you were incredibly young, you had some semblance of normalcy. It wasn’t until you were older that you saw the darkness within FEDRA, that you started to realize that the reason people’s parents and loved ones weren’t coming home was because they were being killed or tortured by the people assigned to protect them. Maybe Kansas City was the worst one, maybe you would’ve been better off testing your luck somewhere else. But you couldn’t, not when you had people that you cared about where you were.
There was no leaving them in good faith, especially not when it seemed like there was an uprising on the horizon. Maybe it would be a good thing to make the city free, maybe the people in charge of making it free would make things just as bad as they had been before. Either way, you had decided that it was best to stay uninvolved. Despite knowing a few people in the Resistance, you stayed out of it. FEDRA had trained you how to fight and gave you the task of learning how to be a doctor, you had a job to do. Running around and plotting murders wasn’t going to do you, or anyone else, any good.
As your feet carried you through the wrecked corridors of an apartment building, you knocked on the door and held your clipboard against your chest. It didn’t take very long for the door to open, one of your friends from school opening up to greet you.
“Hey, Henry.” You said, a small smile on your face as you motioned to the clipboard. “I’m here to see Sam.”
“Oh, I didn’t think you were coming so early.” He checked behind you before allowing you into the apartment and locking the door behind you. “He’s right over there.”
There was something wrong with Sam, from what you’d heard. Nobody really knew what it was yet, but you were being tasked with finding out. It was clear just how worried Henry was about it from the way that he fidgeted as he let you into his apartment, bringing you over to Sam and sitting down beside you on the couch across from him.
You brought your hands up, waving a greeting to Sam. One thing FEDRA school was good for was teaching a majority of people within the Quarantine Zone sign-language, so while older people might not have known how to communicate with Henry, the younger generation had an upper hand.
“What do you have there?” You signed, keeping your smile on your face. You watched as he held out a small lite-brite, you couldn’t help but wonder where he had actually found one.
“We found it in one of the old attics.” Even when Henry was talking to you, he still signed towards Sam so he was able to see it. You smiled as Sam held the device out for you, allowing you to take a look at the art he had been creating. It was a simple piece, a little garden that wasn’t quite finished.
As you handed him back the device, you signed back to him. “That’s beautiful, Sam. Would you show me how you do that?” Sam got pretty excited about showing you how to use his new toy, taking the sleeve of your jacket and bringing him down onto the floor with him. You spent almost a half hour watching him stick colored pegs into the lite-brite, and occasionally taking notes on how he was feeling and whether or not he ever seemed like he was about to pass out.
He eventually got rather comfortable, small laughs leaving his throat over something that you’d said. You helped him pick a couple of colors for the flowers, occasionally adding your own spin on it. But things took a turn when you watched him cough into his hand.
The cough was loud, and it was full of liquid. Not just mucus, but a small hint of blood stained his jacket. The boy looked like he was about to cry as you quickly rushed off into the kitchen to borrow a washcloth and wet it with warm water. “Henry! You need to get out here!”
He rushed out of his room pretty quickly, surprised to see you in the kitchen before he heard the sound of his crying brother.
“Does he have another coat? Can you grab him another coat?” Henry noticed that Sam was holding onto his now blood-stained coat and ran off to get another one as you rushed over to the boy. “You’re going to be okay”
Your hands moved frantically as you communicated with him before getting onto your knees in front of him and wiping the stray bits of blood from his face. Sam’s crying hadn’t slowed down as you moved to wipe it away with the washcloth, grabbing the juicebox he had been drinking from the table and handing it to him.
“This will make the taste go away.” You watched as he drank from the straw, calming down a bit as the taste of blood left his mouth. “Does it hurt?”
Sam nodded, feeling at his throat. “What’s wrong with me?” Even the way that he signed to you was slow and upset. You could tell that he didn’t want to be feeling this way, who would?
“Nothing’s wrong with you, Sam. You’re just in pain, we’re going to figure it out. Okay?” He didn’t seem entirely convinced, you wished there was a better way to show him your sincerity beyond your facial expressions. You moved a hand to wipe a stray tear from his cheek. “How about tomorrow? I can give you a scan and we’ll find out what’s bothering you.”
“Scan?”
“It’s just a big machine, like…” You highly doubted that someone as young as Sam would know what a CT scan was so you eyed the room before picking up one of his comic books. On the cover was a woman in what looked like Cryotherapy and handed it to him. As you pointed at it, you signed to him again, “It looks like this. It will only be twenty minutes, it won’t hurt. Promise.”
“It’s going to cure me?”
“It’s going to help me cure you.” You heard Henry starting to come back and stood up to help Sam remove his jacket. Once it was off you set it down on the couch. “How about you finish that with me?” You pointed down to the Lite-Brite and Sam sat down on the floor, picking up another colored peg.
“Thank you.” You said as Henry walked back in with a clean jacket, quickly helping Sam put it back on.
“How’d you get him to calm down?”
You shrugged, sitting down on the floor as Henry sat beside his brother and wrapped an arm around him. You had your fair share of calming people down, but you always had a harder time with kids because you didn’t really remember what it felt like to have a pediatrician. You knew you had one, you must’ve - but you were so young when everything happened, most of your memories were a blur.
Maybe it was because you knew Henry, you’d been friends with him since you were in school together. You’d met Sam before, it wasn’t out of question that he remembered you and felt comfortable with you around. But there was really no reason to worry about it or question it, all that mattered was helping a child in need.
So, that’s what you did. You documented his symptoms without worrying him for the rest of the day. Whether that included reading comics with him and playing with some games he had, you even got Henry involved when Sam asked to play Monopoly. Sometimes it was easier to ask patients what was wrong with them, but since Sam was so young and nervous, it was better just to watch them present themselves. The blood did come up a few more times, but you were always there to remind him that you were going to help him.
Once it got close to sunset it was time for you to go, though, because you couldn’t be out past curfew. It was dangerous for anyone, but it was especially dangerous for a woman. Despite being a doctor in the QZ, you never felt particularly safe with FEDRA. The things they did spread around the city quicker than the virus spread around the country - it was like every day you were learning of something new happening. When they were the only ones on the street, you were indoors.
“What do you think it is?” Henry asked, shutting Sam’s door after helping him get ready for bed. You were moving back to the living room to back up your stuff, turning back to Henry.
“It could be a lot of things, and we’re going to need a scan done to really figure it out.” It was difficult revealing illnesses to people, but you knew Henry just wanted the truth. “To be honest, I don’t think it’s some long cold. He has something serious, we just can’t know what without a scan done.”
“My dad had a friend with his symptoms before all this.” Henry said, following you out to the living rooms. “It was cancer, can’t remember what kind but… I never saw him after the world ended.”
The thought of it being a form of cancer had crossed your mind, it was part of why you were giving him the scan. Coughing blood was often a sign of it, but it could be a sign of any respiratory inflammation. You didn’t want to assume the worst, but ruling out cancer wasn’t something you could do.
“We’ll know tomorrow, I promise.” You responded, finishing packing up your stuff. The sunset outside was making you a bit more urgent, you had a half-hour walk home and you didn’t want to end up running in the streets. It was suspicious, you didn’t want to paint a target on your back.
“I just wanted to thank you for tonight, he doesn’t really laugh anymore.” Henry’s voice was sincere and meaningful, and you couldn’t help but turn around to face him.
“Thank you for playing Monopoly with us, I remember how much of a sore loser you can be.” You teased, a small smile on your face.
“It was one time-”
“Henry, you flipped the entire table. You were seven! How much strength did that take?” It was your turn to laugh now, you missed having someone to talk to. It wasn’t that you didn’t still talk to Henry, but with the tensions in the city and how busy you were with your patients, neither of you really had the time to reminisce on your childhoods.
“Okay, but Ben cheated. You know he did.”
You relented, nodding in agreement. “Ben cheated at every game.” Standing here talking to Henry felt normal to you, like even though you needed to be heading home, catching up with a friend felt far more important to you.
“You know we have a spare room, right? I don’t want you going out there this late.” It took a minute for him to actually get to what it was he wanted to say to you. How nervous you were to get home must’ve been palpable, and though you had patients in the morning, it didn’t take you any convincing to agree. You were comfortable here, and you knew the risks of walking home at night with FEDRA patrols on the street outweighed the rewards.
“You’re a lifesaver, maybe literally.” The moment you spoke the clock struck nine, and the bells outside chimed - curfew had just hit. You might’ve never made it home if you left without thought. You set your bag back down, sitting on the couch with Henry beside you again.
“I really do appreciate you spending time with him, you know?” He said, drawing you to look at him. You hadn’t seen his eyes so vulnerable since you were kids, it made your heart yearn for the time that you were both just allowed to pretend the world outside didn’t exist. You’d always loved being around Henry, but seeing the way that he looked at you made you want nothing more than to never see the outside world again.
“I had a good time. I know I was here to get information but… I still had fun. With both of you.” Your smile was light, and Henry reciprocated. The both of you had your childhoods stripped from you, knowing that Sam didn’t even have a few years of it made you want him to be able to enjoy at least some parts of his life.
Henry was the first one to make the move and lean closer to you, but you were the one that closed it as you pressed your lips against his. It was slow, almost like you were questioning whether or not this was happening. But the feeling of his lips moving against yours felt so freeing
You felt one of his hands against your own, your fingers tangled together as you got comfortable in the motions of kissing him. It wasn’t technically the first time you’d kissed, but it was the first time it meant anything. This wasn’t a group of twenty rebellious teenagers sneaking into the FEDRA school basement and playing spin the bottle. You were adults, and you were making the adult decision to express your repressed feelings for each other.
By the time you pulled back you were a bit out of breath, but being able to see him and express how you were feeling toward him without a word spoken was worth not kissing him for a moment longer. Henry wasn’t just happy to be able to be with someone, or to be able to fall asleep with you cuddled up next to him on the couch, but because he had found another person who would care about Sam just like he did. Because for the first time in years, it didn’t feel like it was just the two of them against the world.