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Din shot awake, roused by the scream that haunted him in his mind. The flashback, the green-blood's jowls, you being strangled at his hand . The memory played in a tense loop while his eyes adjusted to the lack of light.
He whipped around to his side, finding you completely sound asleep– armed with a pillow hugged by your arms. 'A poor placeholder for my hunky Mando,' you said; not that your subconscious could tell the difference. Even if he were snuggled as closely behind you as he could manage now in your shared bed, you’d still have cushions and blankets swarming you… It was all part of your adoring charm, Din decided long ago.
He let out a breath and let his eyes fall shut for just a second.
Thank fuck it’s over.
The images burned again behind his closed eyes, so he willed them open. No way he’d be sleeping anytime soon.
Eyes open, he looked to you. A hand slipped from the covers– his. Should he touch? Just to– no…. His heart ebbed again.
Carefully, Din slipped from the bed all the while watching your sleeping body breathe in and out. Not even bothering with a shirt, he wiped his face with the corner of the sheet to rouse himself, and left the bedroom in search of a drink. Nothing to numb him– just to remind his body of what was real.
Coming back to the living room window, carafe in hand, he took a long swig. From the tip of his peripherals, Din noted his hands jostling on the way up. He frowned at the shakiness as the water passed his lips in gulps.
He ran through the steps: find a light source, find the ground, steel your feet, steel your heart. ‘Fear has no place in safety.’
His heart began to slow with the practiced familiarity. What his upbringing taught him.
He was safe, you were safe , and always would be, with him. It was just a dream.
Problem is, the dream was no fantasy. No hypothetical, or worst-case scenario. No, it was a haunting memory he'd filed away in its proper place when it had happened, a gross oversight that would not be repeated- and one he thought he’d out to bed long ago. The guild he’d confessed to was a fight that you’d finally gotten through to him that you’d forgiven him of, any complicit part he’d played in it was pardoned and dismissed. That was months, nearly a year ago . So much has happened since that little ‘heart attack’.
The thought should be comforting, so why were his eyes stinging so ?
The truth…was that stress compounded.
And it’s been a hell of a year.
Din sat, pondering the nightmare and more at the bay window. Of the nightly terror, and the one he faced in his living hours. He thought of his child, wherever he was. Now, he couldn't guarantee his safety. Only faith could keep him from harm while it was not up to his father to keep watch. And he thought too of what followed: when he’d turned around that bridge– the eyes all on him, in the face. Taking off his helmet was the final straw that severed him from his personal creed. That was permitted after all, but in private. That moment was another he could never take back…
A renewed sorrow came over Din again and he whispered out a curse, drinking as if to wash the paternal worry back down inside. Why was it so hard to hold onto that promise– when he himself gave it so freely to Grogu just weeks ago?
//Don't be afraid.// //I’ll see you again, I promise.//
Din rubbed the heel of one hand against one eye, then the other, breathing out against one of the dual moons’ lights coming in from the landing fields. Each blade shimmered in the wind.
He supposed this was what came with the territory of having something worth living for; the gratitude. The gift of love and the subsequent fear of losing such a treasure. Coming to terms with a life without love in it and being honest enough to admit something like this could rattle him.
After taking up this life, one he never thought he would have, where would he go next without his family? Without his creed?
"--Hey, you ok?"
Your serene, sleep-laced voice sung a bit higher than it normally did.
Din turned with a bit more of a start, disappointed in himself that he disturbed your peace despite his best efforts.
“I thought someone called or something…” You discovered his unshed tears in the light when he set the carafe away. In a stride, you joined him with a sad smile, unaware of anything on a docile planet like this that could have woken him up from a dead sleep. "What happened?"
Din’s voice came out rough and choked, he cleared it with a bashful, twisted expression.
"I didn't want to wake you--"
The moment you stepped into his space you cupped his cheek and kissed the opposite one softly and slowly in a sleepy greeting, hugging him around his back when he rose to collect you. Your darling riduur. Once you parted, he cradled your head to him and let out a breath against your neck– clearly upset and trembling.
"Din– baby, you're shaking … why didn't you get me up?"
He looked sadly over your shoulder. The tall grass, rustled by the breeze in waves…
"You needed your rest." Din settled on a half truth.
You nudged his side with the arm enclosed around him there,
"So do you." You pulled back just enough to look at him again. Not only was he tired, but looked haunted.
You guessed, with a loving scratch to his lower back, "Bad dream?"
He relented with the subtlest of nods. Smoothing out your hair, he corralled you in before he settled back on the sill. You followed the flow of his movements and claimed the space on his thigh. From here, it was the perfect height to hug him fully on your perch.
You hummed to acknowledge. Laying a little kiss to his darker skin, laden with hard, sad lines all across his forehead. Your lips sealed a caring touch,
" You're safe , honey." You reminded The Hunter in him.
"--Wasn't about me." Strong arms squeezed you in a reflex.
You paused a little, then added another kiss.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
At the close of his eyes, Din saw it all again…
The Razor Crest didn’t hum as she normally did. Or maybe she was, but Din could barely hear it over the pounding of his heart. Shock rattled his system, and sent his pulse into overdrive.
That godsawful day: the one where he got your emergency callsign and a quick comm in, telling him to ‘get there and fast and in case he didn’t, that you knew he’d be just fine with the munchkin, anyway’-- like he didn’t need you like he needed oxygen piped into his helmet’s filtration system.
That comm call sent fear prickling his senses and pumped lead into his stomach.
Luckily, his brain moved faster than the shock and the steely part of his mind set you as his bounty. Compartmentalize. Strategize. Aim. Detain. That’s how he operates, how he works at his best.
He hunted you down to save you in record time.
Action tore the dream into spurts– first, how he tracked you down from the op gone wrong. You split the job in two: he’d take one informant and you’d take the other, playing to your strengths and getting back to the buyer’s table in tandem. It had worked so far for the last few jobs with a near perfect track record. Until that day.
Maybe he should have listened to his gut. You said this was going to be ‘just as easy as the first time’, and set off to recover some intel and maybe swipe a few things vigilante-style that your targets would never miss in the first place. Not a bad move, when stealing from the obscenely rich for a good cause. Only it clearly must not have gone the way you thought, and now unfortunately left you to wrestle with very real death threats.
Every muscle burned as he fought his way to you. Din Djarin –the Mandalorian– running on silent fury and a protective streak to rival a mudhorn left the spice smuggler’s transit with no one who tried to cross him without a few bruises.
– at least until he found the spice dealer holding you up on the wall by the neck… then all hell broke loose.
Din removed the Yuuzhan’s arms from the equation. Called it ‘cutting the hand that sins’.
Scared everyone in the hallway straight, at least, and got you back in his arms: ready with a bleary laugh and a witty word.
Next, there was the chase- how you both made it back in one piece. By some miracle, you sped through the alleyways of Correlia with the confidence that you could do it blindfolded on that speederbike. How you managed that after the trauma of the day by only taking breaths in hard spurts still amazed him; long after you settled back into the ship and held the kiddo in your lap for the first time in a week. Grogu constantly tried to reach up and play with your hair, but you slipped him some old, battery-deficient comm shells to play with and stack instead. Kept him busy, cute little thing.
Seeing him so happy, there on the Crest… It hurt to see such a different time played over and over in his dreams. Even that felt so real.
This part felt like a lifetime ago: Din’s visor squaring up to your face as you sat detangling your hair with a little wince. At the time, he’d not been honest about the warmth in his chest, not told you how he felt, hadn’t felt you sigh and unravel beneath him surrendering all of your soul in return for his touch, and you certainly hadn’t seen his brown eyes in the light of day yet. No, now he just watched you from the comfort the shell of his helmet and creed provided.
You heard the door hiss shut behind him when he’d left the fresher himself, and looked up with a funny little eye roll at the weird angle of your arms. He'd caught you like this several times, after all. It was an annoying part of using a fresher versus a real sprayshower- the pressure was all wrong, and left your hair a bit of a mess. And now, every yank of your head hurt. You had to laugh under your breath. So much for keeping beauty tricks a secret around him.
But he didn’t care. Not a bit. Not about something as trivial as hair when he was worried about so much more. Worried sick about your life.
Under the thick straps of the belt and ammo guards, Din’s stomach tensed in knots. He tried to pipe up, but his first syllable got caught in his mouth funny, and he swallowed to try again where the voice modulator would pick up.
"Feel better?" he’d asked.
Dew-adorned eyes looked back at him; tired, but gemlike as ever. You nodded very little, a small hum acknowledging his concern.
"The heat was nice," your voice answered, small. "I appreciate the hot water, that was really ngggg .. sweet of you to save that for me-" your grin turned sour and breathless at the unintentional swallow at the end.
You hid the pain poorly, if you were trying at all. Blowing a slow, smooth breath acted as an intermission between the throbbing’s effect on your body.
Din stepped towards you just as he’d done in real time, taking a kneel in front of you, level so that you didn't need to look up at him. The recognition of your reflection so close caught you off guard for half a second.
He asked softly to ‘let me see’.
You gave a thin lipped smile. "It– looks worse than it is.."
Brush falling to your lap, you pulled all your still-damp hair to one side.
Still angry and a bit red from the asphyxiation you'd endured earlier, the color sent a renewed flare of anger in him. You noted that in the rise of his chest. His hands ached again.
Those eyes, your eyes, looking at him in worry mirrored what they’d just looked like under the Yuuzhan’s hands and claws– how close you’d gotten gambling with your pulsepoint.
The cry of his title that eeked from you– so broken and terrified –
Did he want to talk about it?
A chill rippled in him. "Not really."
"...Want me to stay?"
"Yes." Immediate .
Smiling above his head now, you looking out to the fields from Din’s unofficial spot, with you snuggly in his arms. You unleashed your arms from his waist in favor of trailing up his expanse of chest and around his neck. He looked back at you with softer eyes when you settled around his shoulders. You guided his head to the spot below your chin, where he nuzzled his way of thanks.
"You know I'm here for you now, right? We're in this together." You kissed what hair was available to you at this angle and felt his sigh against your chest.
"I know. Mhi solus tome… ner riduur. N’cyar’ika."
The memory of so many nights, watching how you'd held Grogu to this spot on your chest just like this leaked out.
"...I miss him."
A few fingers threaded through his mussed hair,
"Me too, hon."
Minutes passed just holding each other like this, leaving your Mandalorian’s heart to take stock again:
The moon was the light, the ground was firm, his feet were stable, his heart secure by the woman holding him together.
Your eyes had closed peacefully atop his head when he rumbled beneath you in a little laugh.
"Let's go back to bed."
You lured those big brown eyes at you, closer to sleep than wakefulness, “You sure?”.
"I'm ok now." Din smiled up at you, rubbing at your waist. "You're falling asleep on me."
"No m'not."
He shook his head at your sleepy stubbornness and stood. WIthout a fight, he nodded off and guiding you by the hips in front of him– to head back to your room,
"C'mon, sweetheart. I'll hold you."
Sure enough, when you'd half crawled back into bed and pulled the covers back for him, Din spooned you close with one arm scooping you up and the other pinning you to him. The weight was absolutely wonderful to you, but also grounding for him.
The light is behind him, the ground supports the bed he's on, his feet are warm now, his heart full.
Din woke with the sun to a face full of your hair that was currently tickling the bridge of his nose.
Your half lean back onto Din’s chest like he was your personal hammock had caused his shoulder to go a bit numb when he tried to move it, but he was hardly uncomfortable. Using a hand to brush your hair out with a small huff, it caught in what small facial hair he had.
Din suppressed a laugh. You really did have a lot of it. It was then he felt your inhale and full body stretch against him.
The way your back curved, gods was it tempting … In your bliss between sleeping and waking, you’d ground up against him -only natural- and he rumbled at the brush to his groin (good as it felt, it’s not the time). Later . Saucy focus pushed aside, Din simply stilled you with a soothing hand at your hip.
"Good morning~" he laid a kiss on your shoulder.
"Morning," your sigh, a pitch higher, "d'ya get back to sleep ok?"
Din hummed a gentle reply, laying another couple kisses before some more hair fell in his face from you shifting. He snorted it away this time, and you giggled at how his expression furrowed at the intrusion.
Collecting your hair back and over, you turned in his arms and he laid back flat for the first time in a while, with a little groan.You cooed at him.
"You could have moved me, baby!"
Chiming back easy in spirit, he had no complaints, "It was worth it."
Rolling your eyes, you pressed a dreamy, light kiss to his lips. Both of you could've used something to drink to wash the taste out of your mouths, but at this moment, didn't really seem you’d mind either. The touch was comforting enough to win out.
And after that dream, he’d take the sight of you in any fashion while you had that smile on your face. And Grogu? Well.. in the light of day, he knew he’d likely be giving that Jedi the same good-morning treatment. One he had a sneaky suspicion he’d see again, one day. The pang of missing the little bug stung less and less.
DIn offered his usual, “Want some caf?”
You hummed a second, then lit up more awake– “Oh! The new tea~ let’s have that.”
Din smiled bright, then even brighter.
– that’s how the dream should have ended: the same way things really ended.
Down in one hand, Din’s vice grip remembered the short canister he held. He swallowed and unscrewed the cap with a little swirl around to disturb the foam on top.
"I brought you this. It's a tea from Sorgan." Taking his gift, you brought it to your nose to smell the herbal blend with interest. "The heat should be easy on the throat."
The thought of repeatedly swallowing didn’t sound entirely pleasant to you, and it showed.
"Yeah."
"You haven't eaten anything either. I want to see you drink something first before trying anything solid."
"...right." Still thumbing the drink you lifted it, studying one of his ammo straps with laser focus as you fought through the pain of the swallow. A little sting of a tear edged again like it did in the fresher.
At your wince, Din set a hand on your knee. Just some comfort that let you know his presence was there.
What really took you out of the moment’s ache was the next thing he said.
"I'm sorry."
Your eyes fell to him again, concerned, "What for?”
"I should have been there, before he ever laid a hand on you."
You licked your lips a little nervously. "You had no way to know Osuff'd do that. It's not exactly the first time; I remembered the tricks to make it to the expressway, and we made good time of it."
You tried for positivity to alleviate his concern, but that ‘little’ comment…
"...He's done that to you–before."
"It was a long time ago." You shyly admitted, sipping again. "More of a-... throw than a chokehold that time."
… Din can’t believe this. What he’d believed you at your word, not knowing the danger wasn’t far from your mind; and yet you went through with it, at his insistence to take the fekking job.
"Hey,"
With that gentleness that radiated from you, your fingers reached out to the bottom edge of the metal casing, gracing his helmet by your tenderness and bringing his face back to you.
"You got there in time. You stopped it before it got ugly. I have you to thank for that." You whispered genuinely, hoping to give him some assurance. "I've seen you go into fire before, but- it's really something when you're coming to the rescue."
A gross exaggeration. Everyone says bounty hunters are fun to watch when they’re not coming after you.
"It was the bravest thing I've ever seen, Mando. Of course, I doubt anything scares you."
"--I was scared." He answered back firmly.
That silenced you.
And for the first time, Din took your hand. Not because you needed to run… He just wanted to.
"Nothing has ever scared me more than seeing that bastard hurt you." His voice fell low and gravelly. "I haven't felt that kind of fear in years."
"...Really?"
"You deserve to know–"
Hearing you choke, seeing you cry for him, tearing him off you and severing his joints for good measure in a rage-filled blur-
"--I was so scared for you."
But his favorite part:
You swallowed again. A new look filled your eyes– one he’d later call love.
And you remembered: when you wanna kiss a Mando, just give him a little headbutt.
And you did.
What a gift.
What something as simple as tea could do to warm him through, and make a hard Mandalorian forget his nightmares with something warm in hand -and at his side- on a beautiful morning.