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To my dearest Sebastian Sallow,
Before you think otherwise I would like to make clear, that I do not make you responsible for anything that happened in recent times. Did I warn you? Yes. Did I tell you to stop practicing the dark arts? Yes. But you have always been stubborn, I knew you wouldn´t listen. I should have probably taken better care of you, and our new friend too, even though they continued to lie straight to my face. I was a bit jealous I must admit, they seem to really like you. But that´s not the point right now.
I´m dictating these words to a magic feather, just in case you were wondering, I hope it picks up every word correctly. This weird girl from Ravenclaw is watching me again, at least I think she does. Oh I hope she didn´t hear this, I should have cast a silencing spell before I talk about someone, it could hurt their feelings.
However, where was I again? Right since you seem to constantly avoid me in the last couple of weeks, and aren´t coming to many of our classes, I figured that I write you a letter instead. You like to receive letters, especially if they are from a person you like. Not if it´s from professor Sharp who gives you extra homework of course. But you are so lazy when it comes to responding, so I hope you will just meet me in the Undercroft when you want to talk, instead of writing me a response. I´m there whenever I have nowhere else to be, it´s not like I have that many friends either. I told you about my friend from Gryffindor, right? He got a girlfriend a couple of weeks ago, she´s from 6th grade, but I don´t think I have ever talked to her. So I have been quite lonely recently, our new friend checks on me every other day, but the professors gave them so many extra assignments to prepare for the OWLs that they don´t have much time either.
I hope you´re studying at least a bit Sebastian. I know you are not in the best of moots to do anything, but failing your OWLs isn´t going to make anything easier. You must agree with me on that one, right?
We can always study together, you can ask me if you have questions and I can teach you the things you missed. It always was my highest priority to act accordingly to your well-being. So just let me help, Idiot. Please let me help you.
I think someone is talking about me. I´m not sure though, but it feels like there are some pairs of eyes watching me. Perhaps I should change my location, but I will continue to speak, or else the feather is going to be confused and it will not be able to continue later on.
Oh, someone just called my name, the feather isn´t picking it up though, it only writes down if it recognizes my voice.
Professor Sharp good evening.
No, I´m just working on my assignment for Divination. Is there anything I can help you with professor?
Sallow? He´s been very sick since last week, so he is just staying in bed.
St. Mundo? It´s not this serious Sir, I assure you he will be fine in just a few days.
Yes, thank you very much for your concerns. I will continue with my assignment now.
Now you got me in trouble Sebastian, not like it´s the first time and I hope it also isn´t the last. Don´t feel pleasured to attend class now, you know I have good connections, I will make something work for you if you want to skip school a bit longer.
I just hope you are doing alright, I have no idea where you are, sometimes I hear people saying that they saw you in Hogsmeade. I even tried to look for you there a couple of times, but it´s kind of difficult. You could stand on the other side of the street and my wand would probably not detect you.
I gave up on searching. Instead, I want to believe that you will approach me whenever you feel comfortable with it. I can´t bring back the old times and I can´t bring Anne back to you. You will need to learn to accept things the way that they are happening, I don´t want to catch you with some relic of my ancestors ever again.
And now that I already mentioned it, you know I don´t get angry easily, but could you perhaps not cast the Cruciatus curse right in front of me again? That would be utterly kind of you.
I´m sorry, was that too sarcastic? I can´t erase it though, so it will stay there. I´m not actually mad, it just hurt my feelings a bit, that you didn´t consider my feelings at that moment.
You even suggested our new friend apply the curse on you, are you absolutely insane? Their ancient magic probably reduced the pain, but you would have been hurt for the rest of your life. Oh Merlin, I think I would have broken down at that sign. Don´t do something like this ever again. Got it, Sebastian?
How I hope my words could actually for once in our lives reach you, I know you listen and consider my opinions. But why don´t you just do like I say for one single time? I just want to protect you. I would tear this whole school apart, I would turn every stone in the forbidden forest around just a keep you safe.
I´m sorry, that I didn´t do enough. I thought you would hate me, so when our new friend assured me that they would handle the situation I was so relieved. I know I could have followed you on my own, taken this damn relict out of your hands, but I saw a future without you.
You know I´m so terrible at Devination because I can´t look into crystal balls like everyone else and can only use my fingers to read the future from the bottom of a teacup. But this once I could read the message so clearly, because this thought has always hunted me, not like my family and the Cruciatus curse, but it was still something I always feared.
I was so scared to lose you, that I didn´t stop you soon enough, at the end I even considered handing you out to professor Black, because you said that you wanted to repay your debts. But what would Hogwarts be without you? It´s like the great hall or the astronomy tower went missing, it would never be complete anymore.
Do you now understand how much I miss you? Or do I still need to find other ways of telling you?
Oh, I beg your pardon.
No, I´m awfully sorry professor, I wasn´t paying attention to where I was walking.
Yeah, I didn´t see you. Oh, that was a joke. Didn´t hear that one for like a week.
No, no my apologies.
I will continue my way then. Have a great evening Sir.
That was Professor Ronen, I was so focussed on talking that I didn´t pay attention to the signals my wand was sending me. I can imagine how you would make fun of me right now if you saw it, but you would probably laugh and that would make it all worth it.
Was this a weird thing to say perhaps? I sound like my friend from Gryffindor when he talks about his girlfriend and forgets that I´m even there, to begin with.
Anyways enough of this, I was trying to be more straightforward and lecture you a bit, but I guess you really are my weak point after all.
Maybe I shouldn´t send this letter. Isn´t it kind of embarrassing, now that I think about it? But that would also mean that I just talked to myself for the last quarter of an hour and that would be at least equally as embarrassing.
What I wanted to say is, meet me at the Undercroft or in the Slytherin common room, or if you really don´t want to meet me in person just write me a letter.
Your Ominis Gaunt.
Stop writing feather.