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Late July sunlight paints the sky with reds and oranges as Dazai makes his way home. Today had been uneventful at work, just the routine paperwork passed onto Atsushi, and Kunikida pissed off and strangling him. Despite the relaxing day, Dazai’s energy levels were depleted, leaving him craving the presence of his boyfriend and daughter.
It’s been three months since Sonoko was adopted, and every day feels like a fever dream to Dazai. He worries that, one day, when he wakes up, the domestic life he has built will crumble down around him. That Sonoko and the joy she spreads turns out to have just been a figment of his imagination; the closeness he has acquired and meticulously built with Chuuya just a fucked up illusion. Thankfully, he has many things in his life to curb this anxiety: Sonoko’s drawings on his bandages and the ones on the fridge, children’s toys everywhere, good morning messages from Chuuya when he wakes up, and countless others.
On top of that, Dazai has enjoyed watching Sonoko explore the world around her. Last week, she had tried ice cream for the first time, her smile wide as the sticky substance spread across her face. The week before that was the beach, where Sonoko spent the entire time splashing in the ocean waves. And the month before that, she watched her first movie: My Neighbor Totoro (she had promptly been given a Totoro plushie after expressing her love for the character).
With every new experience that brings so much joy to the five-year-old, with every sloppy cheek kiss and silent giggle, Dazai can find the darkness around his heart and mind vanish little by little. It isn’t much—and it certainly won’t permanently get rid of something etched so deeply into his very soul—but Dazai can appreciate the help it does provide. He no longer thinks of suicide as often as he used to—though he doubts the thoughts will ever entirely go away—and his collection of alcohol bottles has been replaced with colorful and mismatched mugs filled with orange juice and milk. There are still days when he attempts via drowning in the river or has one too many bottles of whiskey, but Dazai tries his hardest to keep those days few and far between. Sonoko’s too young to know his inner demons, after all.
Chuuya hasn’t been impervious to the effects Sonoko has, either. He’s gotten better at not swearing around her, though it’s certainly not the case when she’s out of earshot. Along with this, Chuuya’s anger has started to mellow out. No longer is he snapping at every minor inconvenience, anger not as string-thin when it comes to Dazai’s antics. The redhead’s alcohol intake has also gotten better; he has more days of waking up without a hangover than with.
Dazai can say with pride that Chuuya has improved drastically since they met Sonoko. He can also say that he hasn’t seen Chuuya this happy before. Every day when Chuuya comes home, his annoyed scowl is replaced with a tired but happy smile as he crouches down to welcome Sonoko’s incoming hug. He’s more affectionate too, giving Dazai and Sonoko hugs, kisses, and numerous cuddles filled with warmth and love. Chuuya’s even set his lockscreen to a picture of Dazai tickling a kicking Sonoko.
The sudden and not-so-foreign-anymore urge to smile passes through Dazai as he rides the elevator up to the penthouse.
Upon opening the front door, instead of being greeted by a dog hyperactive spawn of satan, an excited daughter, and a hug from Chuuya, he is greeted with silence. A brow is raised in confusion when he spots two pairs of shoes in the genkan, signaling that the two were home, just nowhere to be found.
“Chuuya~? Sonoko~? Where are you?” Dazai calls out after taking off his shoes and hanging up his coat. Walking past the kitchen, he peaks in, only to see no one there. The same thing can be seen in the living room. It’s while he’s in there he spots the two sitting out on the balcony. “There you are!” he greets when he opens the balcony door.
Two heads swivel to face him. Both Chuuya and Sonoko are on the ground, Sonoko in Chuuya’s lap while Albey lies beside them. Dazai’s breath catches in his throat as he observes what he interrupted: Sonoko in the process of placing a flower crown of dark red gladiolus on Chuuya’s head. The color perfectly compliments the vibrant red of his hair, the strands pulled into a messy bun at his nape. Without the usual hindrance of curls, the sun shines on his face, giving light to the countless stars that are freckles gracing his skin and an electric shine to his blue eyes.
Dazai pulls himself from his shameless staring when Sonoko shoots out of Chuuya’s lap and comes running to him. He immediately crouches down and opens his arms to her, giving her a kiss on her head when he picks her up. As he does this, Chuuya stands up and comes over, wrapping an arm around the brunette’s lower back in a hug.
“Hi,” he says, kissing Dazai’s cheek, “how was work?”
“The same old same old,” Dazai replies, tightening his hold on Sonoko as she moves around in his arms. “How was your guys’ day?”
“It was good. I’m glad I requested the day off since it meant we could watch a movie, go to the park to play with Albey, buy some flowers, and make flower crowns when we got home.” At the mention, Dazai could see a small one made of baby’s breath on the ground with a pastel pink ribbon tied into it.
“Sounds like you two had a fun and eventful day! And the flower crown is very pretty; it makes your eyes pop,” Dazai confesses, carefully bending down and picking up the forgotten crown. Placing it on Sonoko’s head, her smile grows as she reaches up and feels the soft flower petals between her fingers. “I’m amazed you got a ribbon into it.”
“Wasn’t too hard. Besides, it was Sonoko’s idea, so it wasn’t like I couldn’t try.”
Dazai hums an agreement as he sets down Sonoko after she squirms in his hold more. He watches as she goes over to the outdoor table and grabs both bouquets that had been left on it. She comes back and holds them out to Dazai, tilting her head in a silent question. He has a good idea of what she’s asking, but just in case, he clarifies, “you want me to choose which bouquet of flowers I want for my crown?”
Sonoko nods, eagerly bouncing on her toes. Dazai puts his thumb to his bottom lip in thought as he studies the bouquets before him. One of them is full of dandelions, their yellow color shining in the evening sunlight. The other bouquet is a cluster of blue lilacs, their petals small and soft. He guesses that the one he doesn’t choose will be put in a vase on the dining table.
“How about the dandelions,” Dazai decides, “I like them.”
The smile she gives is blinding as she goes and puts the unwanted bouquet on the table. Sonoko then sits on the ground, patting the space behind her to indicate she wants Dazai there. He readily complies, pulling her into his lap and squeezing her around the middle. As she wriggles in amusement, Chuuya takes the dandelions, sits down, and begins working.
Time idly passes by as the three of them enjoy each other’s company. Albey’s head is in Chuuya’s lap, contently watching him as the redhead weaves together flower stems and occasionally gives him head pats. Dazai’s chin is resting on Sonoko’s head as he watches her show him the signs she’s been learning. Since he and Chuuya have started teaching Sonoko sign language, she’s quickly picked up on “please,” “thank you,” “yes,” and “no”. Now, she’s working on her alphabet, a feat Dazai and Chuuya have been proud to see her accomplish. They’ve also been enjoying Sonoko using the “father” sign for Chuuya and the spelling of “papa” for Dazai.
“Good job, pumpkin!” Dazai praises after Sonoko goes through the alphabet and spells “dandelion.” She’s been getting faster at knowing what sign to use, another thing the two men are proud of her for.
Sonoko directs a pleased smile up at him at the praise. There’s a charming gap in her teeth where she lost her top front tooth three days ago. “Thank you, papa,” she signs before working on another word.
A few minutes pass by when Chuuya announces, “there we go! All done.”
The two perk their heads up to look at Chuuya and the finished crown in his hand, Sonoko clapping her hands in excitement at the sight of it. Signing “please,” she gestures for the crown, Chuuya handing it to her with a smile and a gentle, “be careful.”
Sonoko carefully takes the crown, cradling it in her hands as she turns in Dazai’s lap to tenderly place it on his bent head. A very small and genuine smile graces the brunette’s lips as he kisses Sonoko’s forehead. “Thank you, you two. It’s beautiful. I love it.”
The loving look Chuuya passes them does not go unnoticed by Dazai. Opening an arm, he beckons the redhead to come closer. A final head pat is given to Albey as Chuuya stands up and walks over to his boyfriend and daughter. As soon as he’s within arms reach, Dazai wraps an arm around him and pulls him into his side for a hug. Avoiding the redhead’s flower crown, Dazai places a kiss on his fiery red hair, savoring the feeling of the softness of it on his lips and Chuuya’s warm body in his arms. Leaning back, he admires Chuuya’s freckles dotted along his skin, mapping out infinite constellations with his eyes. Before Chuuya can reprimand him for staring, Dazai places a quick peck on his nose.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Chuuya teases, scrunching his nose and making Dazai fight the urge to give him another kiss.
It’s when Dazai feels a little arm sneak around his torso does he glance down to see Sonoko nuzzling into his chest. He tucks both her and Chuuya closer to him, his arms imperceptibly tightening around them. Chuuya—sensing the mixture of overwhelming feelings starting to brew in Dazai—places his head on the brunette’s shoulder and a fleeting kiss on his neck. Even Albey wants in on the cuddle session, plopping himself in Chuuya’s lap with a huff and happy tail wag.
Dazai’s smile grows bigger—more content—as he engulfs them in his arms. The only thought going through his head is that of his family, and how genuinely and utterly grateful he is to have them in his once bleak and mundane life.
The blue lilacs are soon placed in a vase on the dining table, emitting a sense of domesticity, love, and happiness.