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Chapter Text

"What are you doing here?" Max's tone was harsh, a snap through the silent air of the hospital waiting room. It was a stark contrast to the monotone pages, and steps down the non-slip floored hallway. When Lando looked up from where he was sitting, staring down at the bouquet of flowers in his hand, he was met with the hostile gaze of his teammate.

"I could ask you the same question." Lando's tone was quiet, defeated, like all the fight had been taken from him. His eyes were almost permanently bloodshot from all tears he had shed over the past few days, and the bags under his eyes showed the amount of sleep he had gotten in the same days.

Something slid over Max's face as his eyes traveled over his teammates face, realization? Understanding? He wasn't sure, but his shoulders slumped from the weight of everything, and he turned back to the flowers and the cream-colored tile floor. "I just want to make sure she's okay." Lando breathed, his voice hitching on the final words.

"Same." Max nodded towards the flowers in Lando's hands. "Nice flowers." He commented, taking the seat across from him.

"You too." Lando said looking up towards the flowers. "Daisy's, her favorite." Max nodded, setting the flowers down on the seat beside him.

"Those are?" He nodded towards the bouquet of purple flowers in Lando's hands.

"Lilac's." Lando twisted them within his hands. "We went to a lilac field once, not long ago," his voice broke again as he brought one of his hands over his lips, "I just remember how the purple brought out the grey in her eyes." He bit his lip, the entire time his eyes remained on the flowers.

Max nodded, not knowing what to say, or if there was anything he really could say in that moment. So, they sat in silence for awhile under the florescent lights of the hospital waiting room. Each of them sitting in a mass-produced deep green and wooden chair. An arrangement of magazines were spread out over the coffee table between them, an abandoned Styrofoam cup sitting along the edge.

"Have you heard anything?" Max asked, his tone cautious. Lando didn't' look up from the flowers, just ran a hair through his mess of chocolate brown hair and shook his head.

"They won't tell me anything, won't even let me see her." Max nodded, leaning back in his chair; that had been the line he had been fed the last time he had tried to visit. "Levi's in with her though."

"When did he get here?"

"He never left." Max nodded, glancing down the hall towards the light bustling of nurses, and hospital staff in and out of the intensive care unit. It wasn't as busy as I would be during the day, or during the past few times Max had tried to come to visit. "He's her only family, they let him stay the night. You know," he paused swallowing, "just in case." Max nodded, understanding his meaning, also realizing that based on Lando's wrinkled hoodie and sweats that he probably hadn't left either.

Not long after the silence between them fell again, and the only sound being the light bustling of staff as well as the near muted tv commentary, a man walked into the waiting room. He paused at the door surveying the two men and sighed. Bringing both of their attentions to him.

"I thought you both might be here." Levi said running a hand through his messy dirty blond hair.

"What did he doctor say?" Max asked, pushing himself to the edge of his seat. Lando just stared at Levi expectantly. His eyes full and anticipatingly waiting. Levi sighed and sat down leaving a chair between him and Lando.

"I'm taking her home." Levi didn't look at either of them, instead he focused on an invisible piece of lint on the sleeve of his long-sleeve university shirt. "I signed the paperwork last night." Lando's eyes widened in surprise, he had been there the night before, waiting for any news. Levi never looked at him.

"She woke up?" Max asked, he glanced from Levi to Lando who just silently stared at him. When he looked back at Levi, he was shaking his head. "I thought the doctors said to wait till she woke up to move her."

"It's been long enough to allow her body the time to heal, physically at least." Levi let out another long breath. "There is no reason for her not to be awake, she's just not." He threw his hands up in defeat. "I'm sorry, I wish I had better news, I really do."

"So, what do we do now?" Lando asked, desperation seeping into his voice. "When is she going to wake up?" Levi glanced between the two of them, each had their own level of desperation, exhaustion, and pain on their faces. The looks on their faces threatened the last few threads that were holding Levi together.

"They don't know when she's going to wake up, do they?" It was Max who spoke the words, but Levi's shadow of a head nod that made them true.

"But..." Lando stuttered looking back down at the flowers in his hands. "She has to wake up." His voice broke, his breathing shaking as he tried to bring air in and out of his lungs. "She just has too."

"She will." Levi said, mustering up all the strength he had to reach across the chair separating them to touch his knee. "She just needs more time." His tone was absent of the hope that the three of them really need. "There's a facility closer to home that has an open bed, they'll take good care of her. Until" he trailed off swallowing, "until she's ready." Lando nodded. "And we need to get back to our lives." Levi's hand retracted. "She'd kick our asses for sitting around like this waiting for her." Max let out a broken laugh.

"You've got that right." Max nodded, smiling despite the situation. "We can still come visit right?" He added, after seeing the look of defeat on Lando's face. Levi's let out a long sigh and ran a hand over his exhausted face.

"I think it's best, for everyone," he didn't look at either of them, "if you say goodbye here."

"I don't want to say goodbye." Lando said in the same shaky tone. "I don't know how too." As his tone cracked again, this time a few tears slid free of his shimmering eyes. Neither of the other two men in the room made any more to comfort him, in a way neither of them knew how.

"It's not forever, mate." Max said after a few moments of silence. "It's just for now." Max met Levi's gaze who gave him a silent nod of gratitude as a few tears slid out of his own eyes. Max could, in a way, imagine what Lando was feeling, but not Levi. That much pain, he couldn't imagine. "If we know anything about our Arabella," he cleared his throat after his own voice threatened to break on him, "it's that she's stubborn. This is not how she goes out." Lando and Levi both nodded. "She'd kick our ass for thinking it is." Levi let out a broken laugh that blended into a sob.

Lando just stared at the lilacs in his hands, tears now dripping onto their pedals and stems.

Chapter Text

February 2023

It left like flying, only instead of soaring she was spinning. Pulling her body around in flips and spins until the ground got too close and she had to correct her board so she could land flat. It was also the only time that her mind truly went blank. From the moment she gave herself the last push off the end of the jump, to the moment her landing was absorbed through her knees. Blank.

In a way, she was really flying.

As her snowboard connected with the snow underneath her toes, a smile spread across Arabella's face as she triumphantly held her hand up in the air, the Red Bull can grasped within her gloved fingers. At the bottom of the run, Alex poked his head out from behind his camera lens, checking his footage.

"So?" Arabella asked, getting impatient after she stopped in front of him and undid her bindings. "Did it work?" She yanked her boots free of her board, picking it up she tucked it underneath her arm.

"It worked."

"Finally." She said giving a small fist pump into the air in front of her. "Only took a few hours." Alex nodded, pushing himself up off the snow, still going through the photos he had taken. Further up the hill, her coach, Dimitri, was cheering from his spot near the jump as he put on his board and came down to meet them.

"Those pictures are going to be sick, Bella!" He called as he carved his way down the slope. "Did we get it?"

"We got it." Alex smiled giving a nod as he slid the camera's lens cap back on before putting it safely back into its carrying case.

"Do we have time for one more?" Dimitri asked, seeming more excited than Alex and Bella. Bella looked up at the run, the jumps. Almost every molecule in her body begged her to go back up and throw herself off another few jumps.

"No, we don't." She sighed, forcing herself to turn her back to the jumps. "I have to be in hair and makeup at one."

"Makeup?" Alex sounded confused. "They know you're wearing a helmet right?"

"For the interview. I don't just get to do the jump and then go home."

"Hard being in the spotlight isn't it?" Dimitri gave her a light nudge.

"Maybe I should have just let someone else take gold." She shrugged. "I bet the silver medalist got a vacation." Dimitri snorted.

"That's the champion mindset." She smiled, giving him a light shove back.

Snowboarding has always been her safe haven, her freedom from her everyday life. It was the one time in her day when nothing else mattered. While she was boarding down a run, she was no longer Arabella Van Dijk, Olympic Gold Medalist, and world champion. Even today, while she was practicing for the Red Bull athlete photo shoot, when she boarded down she was just Bella, a girl who had nothing to be nervous about.

"I'm going for another one." She said and before her coach could protest, she tucked her board tighter under her arm and started for the lift.

"Tell him we're going to be late?" Dimitri said to Alex before he followed, leaving Alex about to protest.

Not that she should be nervous. She had met many people before, famous people. Shaun White and Scotty James were her two idols. Snowboarders that she had looked up to in the world of freestyle snowboarding for most of her career. She had been nowhere near as nervous to meet them as she was to meet Max Verstappen.

It was because he was now a two-time world champion in a sport that only had 20 competitors in the entire world. At least that's the reason she was telling herself. Deep down she knew she was nervous because of what this interaction would mean to her father. Formula one had always been something they shared growing up. Arabella always thought that her father's greatest disappointment was that his adventurous and adrenaline-addicted child didn't go into motor racing.

"What's on your mind?" Dimitri pressed as they got onto the lift.

"I'm just thinking about what my dad would think of all this."

"What did he say when you told him?"

"What makes you think I told him?"

"Why didn't you?" His tone was mildly stunned.

"I didn't want to get his hopes up, you know in case..." She trailed off and the chairlift ride turned silent. "I'll bring him back an autograph of a photo or something." She went on trying to cut through the heavy silence.

"He'd love that." She nodded. "I wonder what he's like."

"My dad?"

"No Max." Dimitri chuckled shaking his head.

"I don't know, probably just another arrogant male athlete." She shrugged. "Red Bull seems to have a lot of them."

"Red Bull? A bunch of arrogant athletes? I had no idea." She gave him a light shove as they prepared to get off the lift.

"I said, arrogant male athletes." She protested but Dimitri's smile only broadened.

As they stood at the top of the run, buckling their boots into their bindings, neither of them spoke. The wind had picked up slightly blowing the strands of dirty blond hair that poked out of the front of her helmet. The only sounds were the light buzzing of the chair lift and the wind blowing, pushing around the light sheet of powdered snow around.

In the distance a car engine started to cut through the silence, slowly growing louder and louder. They both turned towards the winding road in the distance, as an expensive-looking car sped down towards the training center at the bottom of the hill.

"Nice car." Bella commented as the car raced closer.

"That must be the arrogant race car driver." Dimitri commented. "You should give him a show." Bella glanced sideways at her coach, and the cheeky smile he had on his face.

"I can do that." She smiled as the car pulled through the parking lot and right up to the main doors of the training center.

As Max stepped out of the car, it was hard to ignore the series of jumps and moguls that shot out in an array from the Red Bull training center. It was like nothing he had seen before, and he had to admit that he didn't even think the jumps would be as big as they turned out to be.

"This is insane." Max said putting the car in park he leaned forward looking out the windshield.

"It's one of the nicest facilities in Europe." Violet, his assistant, commented from the passenger seat of the car. She hardly even looked up from her phone as she spoke.

"Damn." He commented as they stepped out of the car. "Is that her?" He asked motioning up to where a snowboarder was starting down the mountain. Violet looked up towards the runs, pulling her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose and squinting.

"No." The corner of her mouth twitched. "That's her." She motioned to the second snowboarder as they took off towards the jump. They both watched as she launched herself off the jump, her body flipping through the air. Her hand grasped the front of the board, for a few spins and then she landed seamlessly.

"What was her name again?"

"Arabella Van Dijk." Violet said smiling. "She's also Dutch."

"Dutch?" Violet nodded.

"Honestly, do you listen to anything I tell you?" Max shrugged tearing his eyes away from where Arabella was undoing the bindings on her board near the side doors into the training center.

"All I know, is I'm here for a photo shoot and an interview."

"With another world champion."

"She's a world champion?" Violet rolled her eyes making an audible groan before she walked forward into the training center. Max smiled and followed her, his eyes trailing back to the jumps one last time.

As Max followed Violet into the training center, he caught sight of the dirty blond-haired snowboarder being ushered through towards the showers and change rooms. Someone didn't sound too impressed with her, exclaiming about how it was going to take them forever to get her 'camera ready'.

Of course, it to no time at all to get Max through hair, and makeup and for Violet to say no to at least two outfits before Max was finally allowed into his usual jeans and red bull collared short-sleeved shirt. Taking the extra time, he hadn't necessarily wanted, Max took to walking around the training center. Violet trailed behind him for a bit, before dismissing him making sure he promised to be back at a certain time and to keep his phone's ringer on.

He had been to Red Bull training facilities before, however, none like this one. The entire side of the building that faced the runs and jumps outside was floor-to-ceiling windows. Most of the main floor was made up of a workout room broken apart into different areas based on the type of exercises that would be performed there. A small coffee and smoothie bar stood near the windows, that divided the weight rooms from a small area with lounging chairs, tables, and some mats along the floor.

"Can I get you anything?" The man standing behind the counter asked as Maxed walked by.

"A water would be great." Max admitted and he nodded, setting a water bottle down on the countertop. He gave Max a short nod, his eyes wide as if he wanted to say something more to him but had been instructed not to. Max gave him a smile, and a small, awkward wave, before he turned towards the lounge chairs and took a seat in one.

Outside there were a few people out on the slopes, a skier and snowboarder out on the half pipe on the far-left side of the runs. He watched as they took turns going down, doing smaller tricks, some grabs, once they got to the bottom there was a lift that took them back to the top.

"Can I get a coffee, please." A female voice came from behind him, and he turned slightly.

"Did Dimitri say that was okay?" The man responded and out of the corner of Max's eye, he could see the look on the woman's face was less than impressed.

"Adam." She warned. "I need a coffee before this shit show get's going, please."

"Shit show eh?" Adam said and Max smiled, remaining silent.

"Come on you know what I mean. None of us want to be here."

"I don't mind it." Adam admitted.

"You're getting paid." Adam chuckled. "This isn't what I signed up for." In his pocket, his phone started going off, looking down he noticed he had a text from Violet. Max smiled.

"No one's forcing you to be here." The woman rolled her eyes.

"Are you kidding?" She rolled her eyes. "If I could get out of this I would."

"Why would you want to get out of this?" Max asked rounding the corner from where he was sitting. Both Adam and the woman looked at him confused and startled for a moment. He smiled.

"It's a waste of time." She said simply. "You must be..."

"Max Verstappen." He smiled. "Two-time world champion."

"Fascinating." She smiled, leaning against the counter as Adam finished up her coffee.

"I think so." He smiled, his eyes rolling over her spotless vans, black skinny jeans with rips in the knees, and a long-sleeve Red Bull shirt. Her dirty blonde hair fell in waves around her pretty face. "What is it that you do here?"

"What is it that I do here?" She asked pointing to her own chest.

"That's what I asked." He smiled leaning against the counter.

"Next time you see Dimitri, let him know I was right." She smiled as Adam slid the coffee cup across the counter to her.

"Right about what?" Max frowned, as she reached for her coffee cup.

"All the arrogant male Red Bull athletes." Turning she walked towards the small cream and sugar cart. Max frowned, watching her go then he turned to Adam confused.

"That's Arabella Van Dijk."

"The snowboarder." Max sighed. Arabella cleared her throat turning towards him as she backed away towards the main area of the center and the interview buzz.

"The other two-time World Champion," she said with a big smile on her face, "but I also happen to have two Olympic Gold Medals. I guess that puts me," she held her hand out with the coffee in it, and then the second one lower, "and you, on the Red Bull athlete food chain."

Beside him, Adam stifled a laugh while Max just stared after her. A sly smile across his face.

After the interview, they dressed both the Red Bull athletes in their competition gear and took a few photos before they headed out to the slopes. While they had been inside where the stand Arabella and Dimitri had set up for their practice had been replaced by a Formula One car. Lights were set up along with safety nets and pillows in case things didn't go well.

"Woah." Max said as they got onto the back of the snowmobile together that was going to take them to the base of the jump.

"Don't tell me you're scared, I thought formula one drivers weren't scared of anything." Max snorted.

"You're the one doing the flipping through the air, are you scared?" She smiled as she climbed on the back of the snowmobile behind him.

"I don't get scared." She said whispering it into his ear as she leaned close to him. He smiled as the snowmobile lurched forward. Neither of them said anything until the snowmobile came up to the base of the jump and the formula one car was sitting there in all her glory.

"Hello, darling." Max said getting off the snowmobile.

"It's a nice car, I'll give you that."

"Nice?" Max turned to her frowning. "I wouldn't use the word nice."

"What word would you use?" She held her hands up. "Wait, let me guess, raw sex appeal?"

"That's more than one word." He gave her a cheeky smile, to which she rolled her eyes at.

"Just don't drop the can, please?"

"All I have to do is hold it up, really?"

"Yes, let the professionals do all the hard work." She winked and then the snowmobile was gone again.

It was hot, even Max had to admit it. While he sat in his car holding the can up for her to grab watching her flip overtop of him, he was turned on. It took them a few shots, each time all he had to do was hold up a can of Red Bull energy drink, and she did all the hard work.

When it was done, they let Arabella throw some of her biggest tricks over the Formula 1 car. If Max had thought he had a good seat for her tricks before, these were something completely different. It was mesmerizing, watching the concentration on her face, then just before she started her run, the complete calm. She made it look easy and effortless. Even landed with an indifferent look on her face, as if the trick she had just pulled off, she could have done in her sleep.

By the time they were back inside after more photos, and Max got the opportunity to drive the Formula One car around on the snow, Max was practically drooling over Arabella Van Dijk. She was something that he had to have.

"That was amazing." Max said as they walked back into the training center together.

"Well, you're driving was pretty great too." She said giving him a sideways smile.

"Yes, well that was nothing, you should stop by a Grand Prix sometime."

"Maybe I will." He reached forward opening the door for her, she didn't say thank you instead she just gave him a smile and walked past him. He swore he witnessed an extra swing to her hips as she went.

"You'll have to let me know when you do, I'll give you a proper tour."

"A driver giving me a tour, isn't that beneath you?" Another cheeky, playful smile; she was driving him insane.

"For you, I'll make an exception."

"Wow, is that all it takes for a private tour from a driver is a few flips over a fancy car?"

"I'd give you a private tour without the flips."

"Oh, really?" She turned to face him, smiling. "My first impression was that good, was it?" He shrugged.

"Tour or not, I'd like to buy you a drink."

"A drink?" They paused, standing in front of the changerooms in the main training center. Arabella turned towards him raising her eyebrows.

"Tonight." Another sly smile.

"You don't have some fancy dinner plans?"

"I'd rather have fancy dinner plans with you?"

"Dinner now?" She turned her hand wrapping around the door to the women's change room. "I guess I could go for a bite after all this excitement. After all, I was the one doing all the work." He laughed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'll meet you out front in an hour?"

"Gives me time for a steam." She winked, pulling the door open and disappearing through.

"Max!" Violet called after the door had closed behind Arabella. "There you are, I was looking for you."

"I'm right here." He said his eyes still on the door. "I need you to cancel my dinner plans."

"Excuse me?"

"I have a date." He turned to Violet and winked. She rolled her eyes but smiled.

Chapter Text

February 2023

Max had never felt so drawn to someone in his entire life, it was as if there was an imaginary string pulling his body towards her. It took every ounce of self-control not to reach across the car and brush a knuckle across the exposed skin between the rips of her jeans. Every time she moved slightly, and the bands of fabric tightened or loosened over her tan skin, or her bare ankles crossing over the other, made it impossible to put his full concentration on the road.

Dinner was not his best work, he had to fight the same self-control. They'd be speaking, and all he could think about was how soft her hair would feel wrapped around his fingers, or what the light pink strap led to that kept poking out from underneath the hem of her band t-shirt whenever she moved her one arm. Then there were the more intrusive thoughts. Those he struggled with every time she slid more food past her lips.

"Mhmm." She moaned lightly from across the table. It had been after their main courses had arrived and she had taken the first bite of her pasta dish. "This is so good." She leaned her head back closing her eyes, and Max almost fell out of his chair. He had leaned forward, letting out a low cough, which had made her piercing blue eyes shift to him, and the corner of her lips twist up in a small smile. As if she knew exactly what she was doing.

When he had dropped her off, he was all but bursting from the inseam.

"Well, Max Verstappen." His name rolled off her tongue and he smiled, his eyes dipping to her lips. "Are you really going to stand there like an idiot? Or are you going to do what you've wanted to do to me all night?" Max bit his tongue, stopping himself from his lips parting in shock at her abruptness.

"Oh? And what would that be?" He smiled, cocking his head to the side.

"If I have to spell it out for you, then you're not the man I thought you were." She shrugged, brushing her dirty blond hair over her shoulder, and turned towards her building. Pausing halfway to the door she turned, giving him a once over. "If you care to prove me wrong, it's free parking after 5."

It was the doorman's double eyebrow raise that made Max shake his head, but it was her attitude and the swing of her hips that made him follow her into the building.

With their schedules both packed with media appearances, training, and all other obligations of being top Red Bull athletes, it was hard to see each other. While it was Max's off-season, it wasn't for Arabella. She traveled the world, competing and winning. It wasn't for two weeks after their first date that they were finally able to see each other again.

It was a better date than the first one, perhaps because the tension had lessened significantly. It was still there, hovering between the two of them, but it wasn't as strong since they both already knew what awaited them after dinner. Instead, he was able to put his focus more on her, getting to know her, letting her get to know him.

She was one of the most interesting girls he had ever met, and the most impressive. Listening to her talk about her climb to the podium he realized that she was one of the only people he had met that could understand what it was like to walk in his shoes. It was evident that she understood what it felt like to stand on the top when he had asked about her winning the gold medal. He could see it all over her face. That combined with the inability to form adequate words to describe the feeling. It was exactly the same for him.

"So, when's the first race?" She asked that twinkle in her eye made him want to skip the last glass of wine they ordered and get the check.

"Next month actually." He said giving her a slow nod. "Preseason testing starts next weekend."

"Preseason testing?" She asked her brow raising.

"It's the first time we get out on the track with the new cars, it's pretty exciting."

"And nerve-racking I assume." He nodded.

"It's more nerve-racking for the mechanics and engineers. They're the ones who've been working non-stop all winter, building the new car from the ground up. For me, all I have to do is learn to drive it, which I've been training for with the sim."

"Right, the sim. That's the video game thing right?" Max nodded letting out a low chuckle. "When do I get to come see you race?"

"Whenever you want babe." He winked at her. "Just tell me what weekend works best and I'll fly you out."

"Do you think I need you to fly me out?" She challenged leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table. Smiling Max leaned forward, meeting her challenging stare.

"Oh, I know you don't need me too." He smiled. "That's not going to stop me from pampering you."

"Is that so?"

"You don't want to accompany me to a race on a private jet? There's a lot of perks that come with being the world champion." He winked across the table at her. Smiling, she leaned back in her chair and flipped a strand of dirty blond hair over her shoulder.

"I guess I could be persuaded." The waiter showed up with their wine and she smiled pulling the glass to her lips. She took a sip and swallowed, all the while Max watched her, his eyebrow raised in a silent question. Her eyes met his again and she gave him one of her smiles that made his pants tighten slightly underneath the table. "I've always wanted to join the mile-high club." Her smile only broadened as he choked on his wine.

"You are dangerous." He said dabbing his chin with his napkin.

"Thank god you're an adrenaline junkie, then." She gave him another wink.

"Thank god I am." Motioning to the waiter, he didn't take his eyes off Arabella as he spoke. "We'll take the check please."

"Yes sir." The waiter nodded, turning on his heel her scurried off.

"Smart man." Arabella winked at him.

"Does this count as our third date?" Arabella asked wrapping the white sheet closer around her naked body as Max returned with the room service they had ordered not long after waking up. Max chuckled; his muscular body only covered by a pair of grey sweatpants he had grabbed after the knock came. Sitting up she flattened the sheets in the middle of the bed in preparation for the trays of food.

"I'm not sure." He said setting the trays down. Crawling back into bed he brushed a kiss against her temple. "I would think it's just an extension of the second." He pulled the silver toppers off the food, revealing pancakes, bacon, hashbrowns, and benedict. Arabella smiled licking her lips at the spread in front of them.

"This all looks so good." He smiled at the look of pure delight on her face, her lip tucking underneath her teeth as if she couldn't decide where to start.

"Well, dig in." Her eyes shifted up to his, wide, hungry, happy. Reaching for a fork she picked up a few hash browns and slid them between her lips. He watched her for a few moments, reveling at how much excitement she got from the food. Although he couldn't quite get the image of her biting into a strawberry out of his mind.

"What?" She asked her mouth full of a mixture of hash browns and bacon.

"Just admiring." She rolled her eyes swallowing.

"Admiring me stuffing my face in your bed?" She scrunched her nose at him.

"Admiring you naked and in my bed."

"This is a hotel bed." She challenged.

"Still." He leaned forward grabbing the fork form her hand he set it down. She protested lightly, but let him kiss her, only stopping when he moved closer.

"The food." She said pushing him back. "It'll get cold." Rolling his eyes, he pushed the trays towards the end of the bed.

"So? We'll just order more." He winked and pulled her towards him again. "There's something else I want for breakfast. Now be a good girl and don't deny me my own breakfast."

Chapter Text

March 2023 - Saudi Arabian GP 

Lando Norris's first season with Red Bull wasn't going to be a walk in the park. After a terrible 2022 season for McLaren, the team decided to clean house. Which meant dropping their two-star drivers and picking up rookies in order to spend the 2023 season putting more money into their car and their engineers instead of their drivers. It was a shock to get the call from Red Bull, especially since Sergio Perez had been a staple in getting Max his back-to-back championships, but that was how formula one went sometimes. Lando was just thankful he didn't spend the season without a seat, even if he did have to race in Max Verstappen's shadow.

The first race was almost a full-blown nightmare. The only thing that had saved him from the angry wrath of Christian Horner was that his anger was placed on the mechanics and engineers after Max had a last-lap power failure robbing him of the win. Even after Lando had connected his Red Bull in the wall which would be an expensive fix.

He went into Saudi with something to prove. Forced every ounce of focus and discipline he had in his body the days leading to the race. Lando even flew in early, being the first driver in the dessert, so he could give his body the extra hours to climatize to the heat. However, Lando learned very soon that all his hard work leading up to the Saudi Arabia Grand Prix wouldn't put him in the running for first place. No matter how hard he worked or what he did, he the best he could place was second, right behind Max.

It was a harsh reality that Lando struggled with getting on board with. When he was at McLaren he knew he was the second driver, but it was never patently stated they were always perceived as equals. At Red Bull that wasn't the case.

"All you need to do is do good in quali tomorrow." Max was saying as they left the paddock and headed out towards the parking lot.

"Is that all?" Lando snorted. "You make it sound so easy." Max smiled, chuckling.

"How about dinner tonight, to take your mind off of it."

"No, I don't think so." Lando shook his head. "I..."

"Sorry, it wasn't a request." Max smiled. "You, me, and Bella."

"Bella? You think coming to dinner with you and your girlfriend is going to make me feel better." Max waved him off.

"She's not my girlfriend." Lando rolled his eyes. They reached the sports car that was on loan to them for the weekend, and not really to them, just to Max.

"Whatever you say."

"What do you mean?" Max said holding his hands out to the side in defense.

"A woman doesn't fly to Saudi Arabia for just anyone." Lando pulled the door open, sliding inside. It smelt like a car that hadn't been driven much. Max followed, a sly smile on his face.

"She's coming for a friend." He shrugged.

"Do you sleep with all your friends?" Lando asked, giving Max a side eye as he started the engine. It purred to life underneath them, the sound giving Lando goosebumps.

"Only if they're hot." Lando snorted. "Why, are you offering?"

"We're not friends." Lando corrected. "We're teammates." Max chuckled. "I don't know if I really want to go to dinner with you and this friend."

"Come on, she's a great person, and I promise not to fuck her in the bathroom." Lando snorted.

"You can't promise that."

"You're right." Max said pulling the car out of the parking lot. "But she's a great girl; she's an Olympic gold medalist. Besides, we both know you'll go crazy staying in tonight."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because I would."

"Fine." Lando said, stifling his groan.

"Good." Max revved the engine as they pulled past some fans. "We're meeting at seven."

By the time seven came around, Lando realized just how right Max was. He needed to get out of the hotel room. Especially after pouring over the information the engineers had sent him about the strategy tomorrow. He showered quickly leaving his hair in a curly mess, not bothering to style it, and grabbed the first pair of pants and shirt he found, before running out of the hotel room, desperate for any form of distraction at that point.

"So, his name is Landen?" Bella asked as she stood in the hotel lobby with Max. He was dressed in his usual khaki-colored shorts paired with a white button-up that was light enough to combat the desert heat.

"Lando." Max smiled turning towards her, he placed a hand on her hip. "With an 'o'"

"Land-o." She repeated nodding as if it helped her commit it to memory. Her dirty blond hair fell around her face in loose waves that bounced at the movement. "Got it." She smiled up at him as his fingers reached out and wrapped a strand of hair between his fingers. His eyes continued down to her flowing blue spaghetti strapped top and white shorts, trailing all the way down to her simple black sandals.

"He's my teammate, and he's been having a hard time adjusting to the new team." Her head cocked to the side, wondering if he was explaining it to her or to convince himself that this was a good idea.

"So, I should play nice?" Max nodded, dragging his eyes back to hers. "I'm guessing it's also too late to ask if we can have dinner in bed?" Her light blue eyes looked into his from underneath a curtain of perfectly long dark lashes. Max let out a low groan that he muffled in the taste of her lips, brushing a quick, but passionate kiss on her.

"Yes, it's too late for that." Bella faked a moan of protest which made Max take a deep, controlled breath. "We could definitely have dessert in bed though."

"I like that idea." Max brushed another kiss against her lips, having half a mind to text Lando he wasn't feeling well and that he was going to just order in. He opened his mouth to start the plan in motion, tightening his hand on her waist when the elevator dinged, and they both turned towards the sound.

"Is that him?" Max forced a smile, ignoring the groan of annoyance at his teammate's impeccable timing.

"Yes." He nodded as the second Red Bull driver made his way towards them. He was dressed in a pair of black pants and a navy-blue button-up that was also light enough to combat the heat. "Arabella Van Dijk," he used her full name earning him a sideways look from her, "meet Lando Norris."

"Pleasure to meet you." Lando smiled holding out his hand, she returned the handshake.

"You too. But please, call me Bella." Lando nodded.

"Shall we go?" Max said clearing his throat, earning another sideways look from Bella.

Despite it being the middle of the desert, the temperature outside was almost perfect. Max and Bella walked a few steps in front, not purposefully excluding Lando, but not making too much effort to bring him in on whatever they were talking about. Not that he minded. He enjoyed the evening air and the quiet buzz around them. There were only a few screaming fans, all for Max, that found them on the way to the restaurant and all from cars, so they didn't follow or linger. He wasn't too distracted by the evening, or his own thoughts, to notice how quickly Max's hand dropped from the small of Arabella's back or the half step he took away from her when fans found them. If she noticed, she didn't show or didn't care, either one.

As they reached the restaurant and were seated, Lando couldn't help but steal a few glances toward Max's mystery date. He hadn't heard much about her other than how hot she was or how fit she was. Both were true; she had long legs with faint outlines of muscles running down them. Her arms were toned and tanned, then there was of course her backside, which didn't disappoint, especially in the shorts she had decided to wear.

Still, he had to admire the presence she held as they walked through the restaurant, even walking beside Max Verstappen. Fans and patrons either stared or looked confused as to how they recognized the driver, but it didn't seem to bother Bella. She walked with her head high, her dirty blond hair flowing past her shoulders. It took him a moment to realize that she was also being looked stared at, a few even pointed toward her.

He didn't dare ask what she did or why people would know her as they sat down. Instead, he made small talk with Max and agreed with whatever starters he wanted to get. Arabella did the same, agreeing with everything he said which seemed to boost his ego up a few pegs. After their orders were in, however, there was nothing else to do but try to start a real conversation. Ignoring the desire to let out a sigh, Lando cleared his throat.

"So, Arabella, what is it that you do?" Lando asked reaching for his water glass in front of him. He ignored the glass of wine the waiter had poured, not bothering to correct the man that he didn't drink. Instead, he went along with Max's show of tasting the wine.

"I'm a snowboarder." Arabella smiled. "And please, Bella."

"Bella, right." Lando nodded. "A snowboarder, eh? That's pretty cool, are you any good?" Max chuckled, and Lando looked between them. "I apologize, Max didn't tell me much about you."

"It's alright, I don't expect him to sing my praises. I'm pretty good, I compete for the Netherlands on the world cup circuit."

"Oh, wow." She nodded. "So, did you go to the Olympics or anything?" She nodded and Lando's mouth fell open. "No way." She giggled. "That's so cool."

"Say's the formula one driver." Max commented chuckling, Lando shrugged but didn't miss the flash of hurt that flared across Bella's eyes.

"We can drive, but can you do what she does?" Max shrugged, shifting in his seat. His arm slid across the back of Bella's chair. "I think it's cool." Lando turned his attention back toward Bella.

"Thanks." She smiled, politely, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"How did you two meet?" Lando asked after a few seconds of silence fell across the table. Bella shifted her weight forward and smiled as if she was excited about the change in subject.

"At a Red Bull event." She smiled.

"She did backflips over my car." Max commented.

"It was a little more complex than that, but yeah, I did tricks over his car."

"That was you?" She nodded, her smile beaming from ear to ear. "Those photos came out amazing."

"Thank you."

"You should have been there, mate." Max commented.

"I wish I could have." Lando admitted. "I wasn't invited." Max gave him an all too knowing smile, which made Lando force a chuckle. Max took a sip of wine. If Bella caught the tension between the two drivers she ignored it. Something that Lando was thankful for.

"It wasn't that great anyways." Bella shrugged. "I just did some tricks; he drove around in the snow then it was over." Lando gave her a slightly grateful smile. "I mean, my tricks were pretty fancy."

"They all look like backflips to me." Max shrugged bringing his wine glass to his lips again.

"I'd probably think the same, I don't know much about snowboarding."

"It's okay, I didn't know much about Formula One until I met this one." She gave Max a playful shove.

"That's not completely true." Max said and Bella turned to him, her smile faltering. "Your dad's a big fan."

"True, but that doesn't mean I know a lot about it."

"Who's his favorite team?" Lando cut in pulling her attention.

"McLaren." At that Lando's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

"Don't worry," Max leaned in close to Bella brushing his lips along her cheek, "we'll turn him into a Red Bull fan soon enough." Bella's face flashed full of emotion, enough that even Max caught it.

"I doubt it." She said her tone flat. "My father is very set in his ways."

"He must be a big fan, with McLaren cleaning house." Bella nodded, giving Lando a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Yeah, he wasn't happy about them dropping their two drivers."

"Don't tell me I'm his favorite." Lando leaned back placing his hands on his chest. "Because that would be awkward."

"That it would." Max said his tone dry, however, Bella smiled, enough that it reached her eyes and Lando smiled to himself proud to have made her feel better after whatever had dampened her mood.

Arabella hadn't been to a Formula One race in a very long time, since she had been a child and her father took her. Although she had never experienced a race from the garage, not from the position of a girlfriend to a driver. If that's even what she was.

Max was careful as he showed her around and introduced her to a few people, never to call her his girlfriend. She was always just Bella, or better yet she was the snowboarder that he wanted to show around. The one that did the 'backflips' over his car. After a few times, she stopped correcting him. She was too distracted by everything that was going on around her to really care.

Arabella was able to watch qualifying from the garage with a few other families and close friends of the drivers, engineers, and mechanics. Christian Horner's wife was there, and she tried her best to ignore the fact that she was sharing a room with one of the spice girls. Fighting the urge to take her phone out and snap a quick photo.

Qualifying went well for both Lando and Max making it through to Q3, although no one was really surprised by that. After it was over she rode back to the hotel with Max, only to be dropped off and left alone for the rest of the day. It didn't bother her too much; she didn't want to get in the way of his race preparations.

Which was why she found herself wandering down to the waterfront on her own just as the sun was starting its descent into the water. Even though she wasn't far from the hotel, stepping closer to the water felt like she was stepping into another world. With every step the air around, she seemed to get cooler, dismissing the thoughts of taking a late-night swim from her mind and replacing it with the thoughts that she should have grabbed a sweater before leaving. Her shorts and a light t-shirt which had been welcomed in the desert heat all day were now feeling all too thin.

Still, she didn't turn around, no matter how badly her body wanted some warmth. She stepped further into the cool breeze, welcoming the stunning view in front of her. Waves crashed into the rocky shore, silencing the buzz of the city just across the road behind her.

"Peaceful isn't it?" Bella practically jumped out of her skin; her hand gripped her chest turning toward the voice. "Sorry." Lando said putting his hands up in defense from where he was sitting hidden from the city behind a large rock. He was sitting with his back to it, his legs stretched out in front of him. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay." She said taking some deep breaths to calm herself down. "I just didn't think anyone else would be down here." She glanced back towards the path she took down here, she had had to crawl over a few rocks, and chose her steps carefully.

"Yeah, that was sort of the point."

"Sorry." He shrugged and looked back out towards the water. "If you want to be alone, I can..." Lando waved her off.

"No, it's okay. You are more than welcome to join me." He shifted over so she could sit beside him and she nodded, climbing over a few more rocks before settling in beside him.

"Are you sure you don't wanna be alone to prepare for the race tomorrow?" She asked after a few moments of silence.

"Nah, I don't really have a night before preparation." He admitted. "Just a morning of, if you could even call it that." He shrugged letting out a low chuckle. "Do you? Have rituals or whatever?" She nodded, smiling. "What is it?"

"That's a very personal question." Lando laughed.

"Is it?"

"Yeah." She made an exaggerated motion with her hand. "The way someone prepares for competition, especially on the world stage. I don't know if you noticed, but most professional athletes are absolutely insane." Lando raised an eyebrow at her. "We push our bodies past what is believed to be humanly possible, we see a big jump and we think 'I'm going to go as fast as I can and then flip three times, oh and I'll throw in a grab and a few spins as well and hope I find the ground.'" Lando chuckled shaking his head. "Being able to do that takes a certain headspace, you have to be incredibly focused." At that, he nodded in agreement. "Finding out how someone else gets there, well that could be seen as pretty personal."

"I never thought of it like that." Lando admitted.

"Really?" He shrugged.

"Yeah, I mean I have a pre-race ritual, and when something goes wrong or doesn't happen the way it's supposed to it throws me off, but I never felt like it was personal."

"Alright, so what is it?" Lando laughed which made Bella smile.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." He countered and she turned back to the water, as Lando's eyes trailed the side of her face. "Massage, nap, stretch."

"That's it?" She turned back to him, and he smiled.

"I'm pretty chill on race days. Nothing like Max." He gave her a slight shove.

"I've never seen him on race day."

"Well then, you are in for a real treat." She giggled.

"Well, yours sounds very relaxed, I don't think I've met an athlete with that chill of a ritual." Lando shrugged.

"Well, there might be more, but the rest of it is, like you said, personal." She giggled again, shaking her head.

"Chinese food." She said after a few moments.

"What?"

"That's part of mine. Chinese food."

"Really?" She nodded.

"No matter where I am, or what time it starts, I eat Chinese food." Lando looked, of all emotions, impressed at her revelation.

"What if it starts at like 8 am, in Switzerland?"

"Chinese food."

"6 am, Canada?"

"Chinese food."

"Wow." She smiled, and Lando returned it. "That's the most interesting thing I've ever heard." Her smile grew.

"I call my mom." He admitted, and for a moment he really didn't realize why, but her admitting that one thing about her pre-competition ritual felt personal, more personal than he thought it would. He waited for the patronizing comment, but there was none. Instead, she just turned to him and smiled.

"I used to call my dad."

"Used to?" He would have regretted saying it if it hadn't been for the comment that Max had made at dinner. He was curious, not enough to outright ask, but enough to probe when the opportunity came up. She took a deep breath, looking back out towards the water.

"He's not dead." She admitted after a few moments of silence. "He's just sick and doesn't have the best memory anymore. Now the phone calls just confuse him, he either doesn't know who I am or doesn't remember what I do." She laughed shortly. "All my life, well after I had shown an interest in snowboarding, he was my biggest fan. He was the one who got up early and drove me to the hill, he would be there to pick me up when I fell or when I lost, and he would always remind me about my dreams. No matter what he never doubted for one minute that I would do it, that I would be World Champion one day." An undeniably sad smile broke out across her face. "All I wanted was to do it with him by my side, to be able to tell him that we did it. Together."

"Is there still time? For you to become World Champion?" She took a deep breath.

"I am a World Champion, in both slopestyle and big air." She didn't look at him. "That's why I had the photoshoot with Max. Red Bull has two double world champions." Lando looked down, embarrassed that he hadn't known.

"But he doesn't realize..." He trailed off as she nodded.

"When I went to tell him, he threw a vase at my head thinking I was there to steal his wallet." She shrugged. "He hasn't been lucid for a long time."

"I'm so sorry." Lando fought the urge to grab her hand.

"I know one day he'll know, and one day he will be proud of me." She shrugged. "I just know I won't be there to share it with him." Lando watched her face as he realized what she was saying. Watched the stray strands of dirty blond hair from her bun fly around her face from the wind.

"Does Max know?"

"Not the whole story, just that he's sick, and that he loved Formula One."

"Good man." She let out a short chuckle. "Have you two ever been to a race together?" She nodded.

"We went to a few when I was a kid, mostly the Dutch Grand Prix."

"Makes sense." She nodded.

"The last one we went to I was 14. We always talked about going to one more before..." She trailed off. "But I was always so busy, we never got around to it." Bella looked down at her hands.

"You were chasing your dream, I'm sure he understood." She shrugged.

"Either way, it's too late now." Lando nodded, not knowing what else to say. "I'm sorry." She said suddenly wrapping her arms around her knees as she brought them to her chest. "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"It's the water." He said looking out towards the waves and the sunset beyond. "The waves always listen."

"I never thought of it like that."

"Well, we both learned something tonight." Lando nodded stealing a glance towards her. "You're secret is safe with me." She turned, meeting his gaze.

"You hardly know me."

"Perhaps." He shrugged. "But I have a hunch that you'll need a friend out there tomorrow, and since I'm the guy with the supper chill pre-race ritual, it might as well be me." He shrugged, holding his hand out to her. She skeptically took it. "It's now official." She raised an eyebrow. "We're friends."

"Alrighty then." She smiled. "Thank you."

"Anytime." And he meant it.

"So, I can come hide out with you if Max gets to be too much tomorrow." Lando nodded.

"You are most definitely welcome anytime."

Chapter Text

February 2024

The room was completely silent but deafening loud at the same time. Everything in the room was clouded over by a thick shadow that couldn't be brightened by any amount of sun that came through the south-facing window. Monitors beeped and groaned as they worked on keeping the figure in bed alive and breathing.

Arabella Van Dijk's face had healed from the bruises and cuts and a nurse must have just washed her hair since it was laying around her face in shimmering clean waves. If it hadn't been for the breathing tube down her throat, she would have looked beautiful and peaceful. The same way she always looked when she was sleeping.

Which was exactly what she was doing, sleeping. At least that's what Max was telling himself as he stepped into the hospital room. However, somehow even the Daisy's in his hands started to wilt from the shadows around him.

"I brought you..." he held them up but stopped talking as his eyes trailed her silent and still stunning face. The hole in his chest had somehow grown, or just become more noticeable, either way, it became noticeably empty in his chest as he stepped closer to her.

Taking the last step forward he placed the flowers on the bed beside her, his knuckles brushing against her hand. Slowly he slid his fingers around hers, wrapping her hand in both of his. It was limp, colder, and thinner than it should have been, but it was still her hand. Smiling he slid into the chair beside her bed, never letting go of her hand.

"I know we aren't exactly on the best of terms." He said his voice cracking as he pulled her hand up pressing it to the side of his face. "God, I don't even know how to do this." He breathed, his voice cracking. Tears had started slipping from his eyes, sliding across his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry." He said after a few moments. "I am so so sorry." He leaned into her hand, his sobs mixing in with the sounds of the breathing machines and beeps from the monitors. "I know I'm probably not the person you want to see right now, not after what I did." With a shaking breath, he leaned back, resting her hand back on the bed, but not letting it go.

"If I could take it back I would" He took a breath. "I wasn't thinking, I was being so stupid. I should have never let you walk out of my life." His voice was cut off with broken sobs. Pushing back he stood walking around the end of her bed. "I wish I could go back, I would give anything to go back, not just to that moment, that stupid fucking moment, but to just hold you one more time." His voice completely broke as he leaned forward, wrapping his hands around her blanket-covered ankles, dipping his forehead to her shins.

"Please just come back." He breathed after his breathing had calmed. "Just wake up. I know I'm selfish, you've called me out on it enough times, but just please give me the chance to make it right."

Mistakes had been made in their relationship, by both parties, but it was his own mistake that ultimately ended it. Max had lost her, and he had lived with that. Had been living with that. A part of him had always thought that one day they would reconcile things with her. He never imagined he wouldn't get the chance. Their relationship may not have been perfect, the ending surely wasn't, but he never thought that he'd have to say goodbye to her, not forever.

"Please baby." He breathed, reaching for her hand again. He brought it back up to his face, brushing his lips against her knuckles. "I never thought I'd have to say goodbye to you," a few more shaking breaths, "not like this, not for real."

His knee crashed against the floor as he knelt, resting his forehead on the bed beside her he just held her hand and cried.

Chapter Text

April 2023

"I'm sorry what?" Levi demanded his fork poised halfway to his mouth filled with a mixture of potatoes and hollandaise sauce. Arabella, his younger sister, sat across from him poking at her own food, a look of innocence on her face. Like she thought it was a fact that he should already know.

"I said what I said." She shrugged, picking at a smaller potato she poked it and brought it to her mouth.

"You mean to tell me," he lowered his fork back down to his plate, "that you, Mrs. I only love my snowboard, has a boyfriend?" Bella just shrugged.

"I wouldn't say boyfriend." She admitted. "We are choosing not to label it."

"There it is." Levi pulled his fork back to his mouth, finally taking the bite. "How long has it been?" Bella narrowed her eyes at him.

"Since the photoshoot I did last month, the one with the Formula One car." Levi's fork clattered against his plate as his mouth fell open.

"You're fucking kidding." Bella just smiled, taking another bite. "You're dating a Formula One driver?"

"Not just any Formula One driver." She countered. "Max Verstappen." Levi shook his head, grabbing his fork he filled it up with more of his breakfast.

"That's insane." Then his brows furrowed as if he just realized something. "Wait, is that why you went to the race in Saudi?"

"If the next question out of your mouth is if you can come to the next one, the answer is no." Levi held his hands up in protest.

"What?" She giggled at her brother's reaction. "You don't want your big brother to meet your not-boyfriend?"

"That's not why." Levi laughed.

"Sure." A ringtone cut through the small restaurant, and Levi, still smiling, pulled his phone out of his pocket. His smile faltered slightly at the number, but he answered it anyways. "Hello?" A pause. "This is he." Bella shoveled more food into her mouth. "Great, we'll be right there." Instead of hanging up, the voice on the other end spoke again. "No, I won't be on my own, I'm bringing my sister; Arabella." Another pause. "Yes, thank you." Bella took another massive bite. "See you soon, bye."

"What was that about?" He slid the phone back in his pocket before answering, not looking at his sister.

"Dad's done with his tests."

"Was I not supposed to come?" Levi shook his head finishing off the plate in front of him.

"They were just curious if it was going to just be me or not." He finally looked up at her, wiping his face with his napkin. "it's no big deal." He shrugged and despite not being completely convinced, Arabella dropped it.

They finished their plates and paid the bill, before leaving the small restaurant and walking the few minutes down to the medical center. Everything about her hometown was exactly the same as she remembered it the last time she had visited. Since she was from a small fishing town in the Netherlands, she had spent most of her time away from home training and competing. So, coming home had always been a comforting feeling. Everything about the town felt like home, everything except the medical center.

The Medical center didn't hold a lot of fun memories for Bella, or the rest of her family. Within those walls was where Bella went after she broke her leg, it was where her ACL and MCL were reconstructed, but it was also where her mother died, and now it was where her father was.

Walking through the stale-colored hallways brought back not only memories but a mixture of emotions. All that Bella had shoved down over the years, threatened to come bubbling up and spill over the edge. It took everything in her to keep herself calm and collected as they got closer to her father's room, especially under the heavy fluorescent lights that had started to make her eyes ache.

Johannes Van Dijk had always looked more fearsome than he ever was. He usually stood tall and broad with a beard, and his hands were always dirt-covered and calloused. However, every time she walked into his room, the man who had been feared but loved among their friends and family, looked nothing like he did. His face was cleanly shaven, his limbs thin instead of covered in muscles, and, probably the worst part, his hands weren't as rough or calloused anymore. They were squeaky clean.

"How is he?" Levi asked as they approached his room. There was a doctor standing just outside of his door as if waiting for the two of them to arrive.

"He's good." The doctor smiled at them as he closed the chart in his hands. "Tests went as well as expected, I'm just waiting on a few results, but nothing seems out of the ordinary. I think we will be able to continue the same medication regimen he's on." Both siblings nodded, although the doctor seemed to be talking only to Levi. He was the one who was there more often.

"Can we see him?" Levi asked and the doctor nodded, giving a slightly hesitant glance toward Arabella.

"He needs his rest, there have been more bad days than good the past few weeks I'm afraid." He took a deep breath, glancing at Arabella again. "But I don't see the harm in a quick visit."

"Thank you, Dr. Andrews." Levi said, and the doctor nodded. After the doctor had made his departure Levi turned to his sister and took a deep breath. "Shall we?" With a tentative look, Bella nodded.

Their father was sitting in the armchair next to the window a blanket pulled up to his shoulders. An old, tattered book lay in his lap, but his gaze was fixed out the window, toward the sea. He didn't turn towards the two of them, not as Levi knocked lightly against the door frame.

"Hello." Levi said his tone was softer than Bella had ever heard him. Slowly Johannes turned his attention to the pair of them his brows furrowed.

"Hello." He cocked his head to the side. "Who are you?"

"I'm Levi, and this is Arabella." The confusion didn't leave him.

"And you're in my room because...?"

"We're friends of the family, just coming by to say hello." Levi said taking another tentative step into the room, Bella didn't move. Johannes didn't look convinced at the lie, despite how easy it had come to her brother. It had become the lie he told him on all his bad days.

"Family friends you say?" Levi nodded, as his father's eyes shifted to Bella. "Then why does she look like I killed her puppy?" Bella dropped her gaze trying her best to regain her composure.

"I'm not having a good day." She looked back up at her father, forcing a smile. She knew it looked pathetic, but it was the best she could do.

"What happened?" His tone was genuine, but there was still a confused look in his eyes. Levi gave his sister a look that told her it was up to her how she answered that question.

"It's my father." She said taking a deep breath, she didn't look at Johannes. "He's sick."

"I'm sorry." He meant it, giving her a sympathetic look. Bella looked up long enough to take it in before her eyes dropped to her shoes once more.

"I appreciate it."

"I remember the day my father died." He admitted, turning his attention back towards the window. "It's not fun losing a parent, but we all have to one day." Bella's eyes started to water, the image of her white converse blurring.

"How are you feeling?" Levi asked, taking another step into the room. Their father snorted turning towards him.

"Well, I'm dying." He shook his head. "Which is never a fun thing, I keep trying to convince the doctor to just end my misery already, or at least let me out of here so I can do it myself." Bella flinched, and she didn't know how Levi's face remained impassive.

"Come on, this place isn't so bad." Levi's tone didn't sound as immune to the comment as his face looked. "There are worst places to spend your last days."

"Have you tried the food here?" Levi, despite the conversation topic, laughed.

"No, I haven't, although I've heard all hospital food is terrible."

"You'd think if they won't let me out of here, they'd at least let me order in something. There's this little restaurant down the street, Frank's. It used to be the best seafood spot in town, now his son turned it into some hippie shop, but I hear he still cooks the fish like his old man." He held a finger as emphasis. Levi smiled. "It's where I proposed to my girl." Bell looked up at her father, her eyebrows raised slightly. "At least the first time."

"The first time?" It was out of Bella's mouth before she realized she had spoken. Johannes looked up at her. He didn't speak, however, until he turned to Levi.

"I'll give you this advice, kid. When a girl says no, don't ask again." Levi's brows furrowed.

"Why would she have said no."

"Because she knew we weren't right for each other." He shrugged. "She wanted children, I didn't, I told her I would do it, for her, and she knew me well enough to say no when I asked her to marry me." He snorted. "The biggest mistake I made was asking her the second time."

"Why'd you do it?" Bella asked, taking a step forward. Levi tried to catch her gaze, but she ignored his attempt, focusing solely on her father.

"Because she was pregnant." He said it as if it were obvious, but the words almost knocked the ground out from underneath her.

"You married her out of responsibility?" Levi said trying to steer the conversation. "That was admirable of you." Johannes didn't take his eyes off Bella.

"It remains one of the biggest regrets of my life." Bella couldn't breathe.

"One of?" She managed to say.

"Who are you?"

"She's Arabella and I'm Levi..."

"You said." He cut him off. "I asked who you are."

"We're your kids." Arabella said before Levi could come up with another excuse. Johannes looked between the pair.

"Impossible."

"Actually, it's quite possible."

"No, it's not." Johannes pushed himself up from his chair, his tone getting more agitated.

"Well, I have the birth certificate to prove it." She matched his tone.

"You're lying." Johannes was practically screaming now, fear streaked onto his face. Bella had tears bubbling in her eyes but she refused to let them out, refused to let him win.

"Why would I lie? Why would I admit to being your daughter after you just told me you never wanted me?"

"Arabella..." Levi begged, but she ignored him.

"Well?" She snapped.

"Because I drove Vera to the clinic myself." He yelled the words, but even if he would have whispered them it would have had the same effect. The room around them fell completely silent. Even the world outside the door seemed to silence by the revelation. Arabella's lips fell open, and she didn't bother to correct the shock that had been stamped on her face. "So, you are mistaken."

"We had another sibling?" Was all she managed, the words barely an audible stammer. Turning she looked at her brother only to find him looking somber, sad, but not surprised. Not in the slightest. "You knew."

"Bella..."

"You knew that we had a brother or sister?" She demanded.

"I'm sorry, but you've got me mistaken for someone else...." Johannes went on, obviously confused, his hands up in defense. "I don't have kids."

"You do." Bella snapped. "You have two." She motioned to the pair of them. "You raised us. You drove us to practices and music lessons, you taught us how to drive and how to fish." Her tone broke slightly, and she swallowed.

"Lies." He spat. "I would have remembered all that."

"You don't, though." Levi said before his sister could continue. He took a small step forwards, slightly in front of his sister. "But it's true, it's all true."

"That's not possible." His tone was almost pleading as he met Levi's gaze. "Where's Vera, I need to talk to her, she'll tell me the truth." Levi sighed breaking eye contact and looking down at his shoes. "Where's Vera?" He turned to Arabella, his tone more pleading than before.

"She's...." Bella choked on the words, looking at her brother who had his head down and his eyes closed.

"Go, get the doctor." He said under his breath, turning his head slightly towards her.

"What?"

"Tell me where Vera is, now." Johannes demanded, his tone dangerously nervous now. Bella looked up at him, the confusion and worry mixed on his face.

"Vera died." Levi said finally. "8 years ago."

"No, you're lying. You're both liars!" Bella stepped back, her father's tone startling her.

"Arabella, the doctor, now." Turning Bella made it to the door before her father started screaming again.

"Tell me where she is, tell me now!" He took a step towards Levi as Arabella called for help

Soon enough doctors and nurses were flooding her father's room. He struggled against them, still demanding to see his wife, demanding to know where she was and why everyone was lying to him. It took four nurses to hold him still enough for Dr. Andrews to stick him in the arm with a needle.

"I think it's time for you two to go." Dr. Andrews said his tone firm. He wasn't asking. Levi turned, grabbing Bella by the arm, pushing her out of the room, and dragging her down the hallway.

"Alright." She said as they rounded a corner, pulling her arm free of his grip. "You don't have to drag me, he asked us to leave so we left."

"Why did you have to go and do that?" He demanded, but she stood her ground.

"Me?" She pushed a finger into his chest. "You're the one who neglected to tell me the part where our parents had an abortion." Levi flinched but didn't break eye contact.

"It was their decision to make." His tone was flat. Bella snorted. "I told you not to bring up the fact that he was our dad, but you did anyways. If you hadn't done that, we'd still be talking to him."

"Talking about the fact that he never wanted kids, that the biggest regret he has is marrying our mom because she wanted us. Yeah, that visit was going so well before I dropped that bomb."

"He doesn't remember, it's not something that we can remind him and it's magically going to come back to him. This is it, this is our reality."

"Thanks." She spat. "Because I didn't know that already."

"That's not..."

"Don't." She held her hand up. "I don't want to hear it. Obviously, you've come to terms with this far faster than I have, and that's fine. I'm sorry for not reacting properly after discovering that everything I knew about my father was a lie."

"Bella..."

"I said, don't." She snapped and stepped around him. He didn't follow her as she stomped to the exit doors.

Chapter Text

April 2023

Kitzeteinhorn was the last competition on the schedule for Arabella, which means it was her last chance to secure her title as two-time world champion for the second consecutive year. She had already secured her championship in big air, which wasn't a shock to anyone. Arabella had dominated the field for most of the year. It was something she quite enjoyed, pushing herself further with every trick. Even if she was already sweeping the competition away.

Slopestyle was all anyone could talk about following the results of big air. It was almost exclusively about the two champion contenders and what each of them had to do to best the other. Arabella was the reigning champion who had stood at the top of the podium many times, but Elizabeth Warren, the American, had always been on one side or the other of Arabella when she was on the podium. If Arabella came second, it was Elizabeth in first. Arabella had the big fancy tricks and the difficulty points, but Elizabeth's runs were clean. All it would take was one mistake from Arabella and Elizabeth would take the title from her.

It didn't help that the entire weekend, Arabella was distracted. She had made it into the final on a sloppy run that placed her nowhere near where she needed to be, but a big trick at the end had put her seventh. All she had to do was place higher than fourth and the title was hers, that and Elizabeth had to place second or lower.

Big air was easy for Arabella. It was one jump, one trick and then it was over. All she had to do was make sure she pulled her board around enough to land safely and without wobbles. Slopestyle had a lot more components. Too many areas that the judges could take points off, or places where she could make a mistake. The odds were very much in Elizabeth's favor, especially if Arabella's mind was unfocused.

And it seemed most of the reports agreed.

"Where's your mind at?" Her coach asked as they warmed up at the top of the run. Around them, competitors were doing the same, all of them awaiting the start bell. It was a warm enough day that Arabella had ditched her thick jacket and only wore her snow pants and a hoodie underneath her bib. Beside her, her coach held her helmet in his hands while he watched her go through some basic stretches. There was no use lying to her coach; he knew her better than most. Especially on competition days. "Don't tell me you're listening to those assholes say your boyfriend doesn't care because he didn't come support you." She snorted, which got her to smile.

"Of course not." Which he already knew, he just wanted to get her to smile. She rolled her eyes. "It's my dad."

"Did you send out your message today?" She nodded. Since Arabella had been a little girl, the one person she had spoken to before every competition was her father. It started at her very first competition, and while she was younger it was almost always done in person. When she started on the international circuit, it was over the phone, then text message. Now it was an email that went to an inbox that would never get logged into again. Today had been no exception.

"I can't get that visit out of my head." She admitted, going through another motion of stretches.

"That's understandable."

"It's just a side of him that I've never seen before."

"Or thought existed." Arabella paused meeting her coach's gaze. Dimitri took a step forward placing his hands on her shoulders. "It's okay to be upset by it, anyone would be if they went through what you did." She nodded.

"I just can't help but wonder if everything was a lie." She looked down. "If he had to force himself to be present for everything to make my mother happy, or to keep their marriage alive or whatever, if he really never wanted kids or the life that he ended up with. Was he ever really having as much fun as I thought?" Taking a deep breath Dimitri squeezed her shoulders slightly.

"It may not have been the life he wanted, but if there is anything that I know about your family is you're stubborn as hell." Arabella's lips twitched upwards. "There is no way that a man half as stubborn as you would have broken his back for his daughters snowboarding career as much as he did if he didn't adore that child." Slowly Arabella nodded. "He supported you and cheered for you because he loved you, not because he was obligated too." Another nod.

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "Thank you."

"Anytime." He said dropping his hands from her shoulders. "Now, do me a favor and bring this title home."

"Right, because it's just that easy."

"It is." She met his eyes again and he gave a small nod. "You just have to do it."

"Just do it." He smiled and she rolled her eyes. Holding his hand out she went through the motions of their handshake ending with a hug.

"Just fucking do it." He whispered and she smiled.

"Arabella Van Dijk is safely into fourth place with that run, but that means Elizabeth Warren still holds the lead. This is shocking to no one. Elizabeth pulled out an amazing first run with not much room for improvement." One of the hosts turned to the other, both dressed for the weather of the run behind them.

"You're right, and this is a surprise to no one. Elizabeth doesn't go after the big difficulty points, instead, she keeps it simple and incredibly clean which works for her. What's not working for Arabella today is going for the big tricks and hoping that they stick. She's pulled out some exceptional skills, not her biggest, but can't seem to do make a clean run from top to bottom."

"Which is a shame, she did so well in the big air competition." His companion nodded.

"But that's where she excels. One trick, throw it as hard as you can. She's a force to be reckoned with because she can throw tricks that we don't even see from some of the men, but here she needs to put it together clean."

"What are you watching, Jo?" Kayce asked stepping into the small room.

"The slopestyle competition." Kayce nodded and turned her attention to the television fixed to the wall in the corner.

"Who's winning?"

"The American." He grumbled. Kayce made a noise and Jo nodded.

"Shucks."

"She'll pull through." Kayce turned to Jo, her brows furrowing.

"Who?"

"The Dutch border." Kayce raised her eyebrows looking at the screen. "She's got this."

"I don't know, that American has a pretty good score." Jo turned and narrowed his eyes at Kayce who put her hands up in defense. "I'm just saying."

"She's going to do it." He said, turning back to the tv.

"What makes you so sure."

"I don't know." He said honestly. "I just know." Kayce nodded and turned her attention back to the screen. "She can do this."

"Up now is Elizabeth Warren. If she improves on this score, she's practically unstoppable. Arabella will have to be near perfect already to defend her title."

"She'll be perfect." Jo said leaning forward in his chair he rested his elbows on his knees. "She has to be."

"You seem very sure."

"She performs her best under pressure." Kayce glanced sideways at him, raising her eyebrows.

"You sure know a lot about her. Do you know her?"

"No, of course not." He said shaking his head. "I'm just a big fan." They watched the television in silence for a few minutes as Elizabeth finished her run. Jo grunted a few times shaking his head.

A light knock at the door came, but only Kayce seemed to notice. "A big fan if you think she can top that." Turning she kept a side eye on Jo, who was waving her comment off, as she walked back towards the doorway. "Do you have his chart?" Kayce smiled, stepping out of the room she handed the chart she had tucked underneath her arm.

"I was going to wait till after the competition to do my blood draw." She commented on the unspoken question.

"That's fine." The doctor flipped the chart open.

"It's weird." Kayce glanced back through the doorway at her patient staring intently at the television.

"What's weird?"

"The human brain." The Dr. kept an eyebrow raised as the nurse turned back to him. "He doesn't remember much past his own name, which annoys him to no end. He questions everything, but he doesn't question how he knows that the Dutch snowboarder is going to take the win today." She shook her head chuckling. Stepping beside her, Dr. Andrews poked his head into the room and glanced at the television.

"That's because it's his daughter." Dr. Andrews smiled.

"What?" Kayce's jaw dropped. "Jo's daughter is Arabella Van Dijk?" Dr. Andrews nodded, flipping the folder closed he held it up to show her the name on it, more specifically the last name.

"Johannes Van Dijk." He said as she re-read the name.

Chapter Text

May 2023 - Miami Grand Prix

Ever since Arabella's plane touched down in Miami she knew this weekend would be different than the other race weekends she had attended. The entire atmosphere was different, similar to the shift from her own competitions in Europe versus in the United States. The events were bigger and the fans crazier. Not to mention Miami was only in its second year on the circuit, which means they were still pulling out all the stops to make sure it was an amazing racing weekend.

From the plane to the hotel, Arabella kept her phone on airplane mode, trying to let the humid air clear her head. With the season over she was, for the first time in a long time, free from any obligations. It may only be for a few weeks and traveling to Miami to spend the weekend around the press wasn't what her brother or coach thought was best. The past few weeks had been stressful, to say the least. Not only had she been stressed with the end of the season, but her father's condition had taken a turn for the worse. Since she had time off, her brother encouraged her to come for another visit, but she didn't. She avoided the issue completely.

Arabella arrived at the hotel and checked in, and finally turned her service on just long enough to send a message to Max letting him know that she had arrived. As soon as the message bubble was delivered, she tossed her phone on the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Ignoring the buzzing of all the messages coming in after her 11-hour flight of silence. She knew she'd eventually have to answer her phone, have to face everything she had left behind in the Netherlands, but for right now she was going to enjoy her freedom.

Max arrived at her hotel room shortly after she had gotten out of the shower. The knock at the door was quick and excited, matching her little run to the door so she could open it as fast as possible.

"Fuck, I've missed you." He said his eyes roaming over her robe-wrapped body. She smiled, sticking her hip out to the side slightly.

"Sorry for my appearance, you didn't give me any warning. I didn't have time to get dressed." Max's eyes slid back up to hers and a mischievous smile spread across his lips.

"You, my darling, have nothing to apologize for." He said stepping into the room he didn't give the door a chance to close behind him before he wrapped her up in his arms, lifting her up and pressing her against the nearest wall. Thankfully no one else was in the hallway, not that either of them cared.

Their lips met in a furry of desperation and passion. No pleasantries were shared after not seeing each other for a few weeks. No small talk. Just pure desperation to be as close as humanly possible to one another and preferably naked at the same time. It was a good sweaty distraction for her, one that she welcomed, despite just getting out of the shower.

She melted into him, more than once. Allowing him to help her forget everything that was happening back in the Netherlands. Everything was blowing up her inbox and her social media. Just everything. She threw herself into the moment, into the feeling of her hands on her body and her lips on hers. Letting the feeling of his sweaty body moving against hers be the only thing that she could focus on.

Max Verstappen was exactly the type she usually went for. Handsome, adventurous, thrill-seeking, and incredibly attentive in bed. It was all there, the fire, the excitement, and the passion. Everything that would lead to a fun, easy, and not at all serious relationship. The best part: no pressure or obligation to introduce him to her family. It wasn't what she truly wanted, but it was the reality of her situation. If Arabella couldn't handle seeing her father, how could she possibly put it on someone else?

However, as she lay in bed beside him after their lengthy horizontal workout, she felt off. Once the sweaty distraction was over and Max fell blissfully asleep, nothing could be done to stop her thoughts from wandering back overseas. It was almost like her body knew there was somewhere else in the world that she should be. Even if she didn't want to be there.

Trying her best not to wake Max, since it was his race weekend, she slipped out of bed and grabbed the first pair of clothes she could find. Wearing only her underwear, Max's shirt, and a throw blanket wrapped around her shoulders, she stepped out onto the balcony.

The stars and the cool night air didn't do much to curb her wandering thoughts, but they did wonders to calm her nerves. It wasn't the first time that she slipped out of bed while he slept and found somewhere quiet to think for a few hours. She'd always end up back in bed before he woke up, curled up beside him.

"Arabella?" His voice slid through the dark night from the patio door, almost making her jump out of her skin. She turned glancing back towards the door to find Max poking his head out, his eyes dripping with sleep. "What are you doing out here?"

"I couldn't sleep." She admitted. "I didn't want to wake you."

"What's going on, is everything okay?" He asked stepping out onto the balcony. "Is it your father?" She shrugged as he got closer, wrapping his arms around her. Arabella smiled leaning back into the warmth of his bare chest. He had brought the duvet out with him and quickly wrapped it around them both.

"He's fine, there's been nothing new." She hadn't spoken to her brother, but she knew if anything serious happened there would be more missed phone calls rather than missed texts. "I just miss him." Which was part of the truth. Max pressed his lips to her temple.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I just needed some air." She turned her head towards him slightly. "Go back to bed, you've got a big weekend."

"Come back to bed with me." He whispered pressing another kiss lower, along her jawline.

"I'm not tired."

"I can fix that." Another kiss along the side of her neck.

"I'm not in the mood." She admitted, pulling her head away from his lips slightly. She felt his body tense behind her as he leaned back slightly.

"What can I do?" He said his tone shifting.

"I don't think there's anything more you can do, you helped earlier with that wonderful distraction." She leaned back into him, but he didn't respond to her in the same way.

"That's all this weekend is? A distraction for you?" She turned in his arms, looking up at the hurt on his face.

"Max, that's not what I meant, and you know it." He looked away from her, his arms dropping from the railing on either side of her. "I'm here because I missed you." Her hands cupped his face as she turned him back towards her.

"So, come back to bed with me." Max leaned into her again, pressing his forehead against hers.

"I'm not ready to go back yet." He didn't look convinced. "I think I just want to be alone right now."

"You invited me over."

"I know, I know, but I just have a lot on my mind, and I don't want to screw up your sleep schedule." He didn't look convinced, and Arabella was getting annoyed with having to convince him otherwise. "Go." She gave him a playful shove. "I'll be there soon."

"Are you sure? If there's a lot on your mind we can talk about it if you want?" He offered and for a moment she thought about taking him up on the offer.

"You don't need your rest?" He smiled letting out a long breath, which gave her an answer.

"I mean I do but winning isn't the only thing that matters to me." Arabella smiled placing both of her hands on his chest.

"I know," she leaned forward brushing a kiss against his lips, "but you need your sleep, and I will be fine."

"Okay, okay." He said brushing his thumb against her cheekbone. "Don't stay out too long, please, I didn't come here to sleep on my own." She smiled.

"I won't." Max nodded pressing a final kiss to her forehead before taking the blanket and disappearing back into the room.

Once the door was closed, and long enough had passed that she was sure Max had passed out again, Arabella slid down to the floor of the balcony and wrapped her own blanket around herself tighter. For a few moments, there was nothing but silence around her. All the company she had was the stars and a light evening breeze that toyed with the ends of her hair.

Then, the tears started. At first, it was just a few silent tears sliding down her cheeks, but they slowly started to pick up. It was almost as if it had been building for a while and the Miami breeze had pulled down the floodgates. Her body started to tremble, and she placed a hand over her mouth to silence the sobs as she brought her knees up to her chest.

Around her, the world was completely silent, with no one around to witness her tears or how badly Arabella Van Dijk was breaking inside.

Turns out that playing the undistracted girlfriend was a decent enough distraction. While in Miami Arabella followed Max from event to event giving him all the support she could. At night, it was a different story. Turns out as their busy days came to an end and the quiet of his hotel room fell around them as they got ready for bed, that was when her mind got the loudest. So, she did what had somewhere along the lines turned into a habit and slipped onto the balcony after Max had fallen asleep.

Max's hotel room was quite a bit bigger than hers, with a balcony that had more furniture on it than her entire room. The first night she had slipped out onto the balcony she had found a particularly comfortable lounging chair, which made the decision of whose room to sleep in easier for the second night. There was a part of her that felt guilty for pushing the decision in favor of his room, but as she sat outside in the cool evening air wrapped in a much warmer blanket. The guilt didn't seem to matter at all anymore.

"Bella?" A voice said. At first, she turned to look back towards the balcony doors, but there was no one there. Frowning she thought perhaps she had imagined it. "Over here." This time she turned in the opposite direction towards the balcony beside the one she was on.

"Lando?" She squinted through the night her eyes focusing on a figure standing against the railing a blanket draped around his shoulders.

"The one and only." He smiled, stepping closer to the corner he turned to face her. "What are you doing out here?"

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted, "you?"

"Same. Max?"

"He's sound asleep." Lando nodded, glancing towards the doors behind her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever it is that's been bothering you." Arabella glanced down at her lap, picking an invisible piece of lint off her leg. "You definitely don't have too." He continued, noticing her hesitation. "I personally could use the distraction."

"You could use a distraction?" She turned towards him, frowning. Lando shrugged, a few strands of curls falling into his eyes.

"It's not easy being the teammate of a world champion." He shrugged again pushing the curls away from his eyes. "There's a lot of pressure on me to help Max secure another title."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" He turned back towards the night sky, his eyes trailing up towards the moon. "I signed with Red Bull knowing my position on the team. Of course, they want me to succeed so Red Bull can take the constructors as well as the drivers and having two drivers on the podium will make that happen, but I'm never supposed to outperform Max."

"So, no matter what you do you'll always come second?" He nodded. "That sounds horrible."

"It's normal for the bigger teams. I get the experience of driving a winning car, and the team gets to use me in their strategy to stay at the top." He shrugged again. "One day, it'll be my turn, and when it is, I'll be ready."

"That's a good way to look at it." He nodded, turning towards her. For a moment she didn't say anything, even as he watched her almost expectantly. Her gaze shifted toward the stars and the moon. "It's my father." Arabella said after taking a deep breath. "He's sick, very sick. It's to the point where he doesn't know who I am anymore. He's in a hospital in the Netherlands with around-the-clock care, but we all know he's not getting any better." She clasped her hands together, her eyes shifting towards them. "I know that I should be there, spending time with him before he's gone, but..." Her breath caught.

"But it's hard."

"So hard seeing him like that." She admitted. "Not only does he not know who I am, but the last time I visited he told us something pretty scarring." Another deep breath. "Turns out my father never wanted kids."

"Ouch." She nodded. "I mean he obviously changed his mind."

"When I was a teenager my mother told me the story of how my father proposed. Turns out that when she got pregnant with Levi, they weren't together. When he proposed the first time, she turned him down knowing that he was just doing it out of obligation." The corner of her mouth twitched. "Of course, she told him when she went into labor, and he was there for her. He even picked them up from the hospital and drove them across town to a townhouse that he had bought for them. It was fully furnished, and when she got to the nursery there was an engagement ring in the crib." She smiled.

"That's pretty romantic." Arabella nodded.

"I thought so, except when my father talks about the first time my mother was pregnant, and he proposed, he also drove her to the clinic, and she got rid of the baby."

"Wait what?" She didn't look at him, only nodded.

"I thought maybe it was his memory, so I went to my grandmother." She took a deep breath. "The story that I was told about how he proposed? It's true, it only happened a few years later after a drunken mistake one night. Turns out my grandmother was the reason my mother said no the first time and decided to have Levi on her own. It wasn't until my father made a grand gesture that my mother finally said yes."

"Wow." She nodded.

"I know my father loved us; I couldn't have asked for a better father. He was incredibly supportive of my dreams and pushed me to chase them no matter how crazy they were. He was one of the most amazing men in my life."

"He sounds like a wonderful man."

"He was."

"I'm pretty sure he still is." She glanced up at him and he smiled, leaning over the railing towards her balcony. "The man who saw the last time you visited was the one your mother said no to, not the one she finally said yes to." She didn't say anything, but she knew he was right. "He might not remember who you are, but you have enough memories to remember for the both of you."

"I know." She smiled, looking back up at the stars. "I just wish I could see that side of my father, one more time. I want to be able to come home and tell him one last time that I did it, that all my snowboarding dreams came true and that I couldn't have done any of it without him."

"He doesn't know that you're a two-time world champion and an Olympic gold medalist?" Arabella looked at him and raised both of her eyebrows.

"You googled me?" He laughed, lowering his head as if she had just found out an embarrassing secret. A smile spread across her face as she watched him run a hand through his curls and look back up at her, his cheeks flushed.

"Maybe," he said trying his best to look unbothered, "or maybe I just talked to Max." It only made her smile grow.

"Well, my father knows I'm a two-time world champion, and there was a lucid period where I got to tell him that I won both Olympic golds. He doesn't, however, know that I'm not a four-time world champion."

"What do you mean?" He looked confused and she gave him a look of disbelief, which she quickly tried to hide.

"Now I know you googled me." She tried her best to ignore the pinch of pain in her heart that he didn't know; that Max hadn't told him. "My season just finished, I'm the 2023 champion in big air and slopestyle."

"Wait this just happened?" She nodded. "How did I not know about this?" She shrugged.

"My last competition was in Kitzeteinhorn, Austria, last weekend."

"Oh my god," she looked away from his startled tone, "and this is how you chose to celebrate it, by following Max around the racetrack?" Arabella giggled.

"Honestly, no." She admitted. "But when I showed up to tell my father, the doctors told me it wasn't a good day. That he was getting worse, and my presence would only hurt him."

"Fuck." He breathed and she nodded, not looking at him. All the amusement and smiles had disappeared as the mood dropped around them.

"I didn't exactly feel like celebrating much after that." Lando didn't say anything. "It's okay though, I like being here."

"It's not every day you win your fourth world championship." She nodded. "I'll be right back." He said abruptly turning back he disappeared into his hotel room. Arabella watched him go, confused at the abruptness, and slightly hurt by it as well.

After a few minutes she stood, wrapping the blanket she brought out tighter around herself so she wouldn't drag it on the ground she started her retreat towards Max's hotel room. She was almost there when the sound of Lando's patio door opening made her stop and turn back towards him.

The blanket was gone, replaced by a hoodie and in his hands was a bottle of something and a pair of glasses. "Where are you going?" He asked noticing how far from the edge she had gotten. "We are celebrating." Smiling she started back towards him. "It's not champagne, sorry, it's sparkling juice. It's all I had since I don't normally drink." Smiling he opened the bottle as quietly as possible and poured the liquid into the two glasses. When he was finished he held one out to her and she took it.

"What's happening?" She mumbled still confused, even as she took the glass of sparkling juice.

"We're celebrating." He spoke as if it were obvious. Smiling he held out his glass to hers. "To you, Arabella, a four-time world champion." Their glasses clinked together over the edge of each of their balconies before they both took a sip of the bubbly sweet liquid. It slid down her throat warming its way down until it reached her heart.

"Thank you." She smiled and he gave her a light nod.

She let him make her feel special. Let him give more than a few toasts in her honor. They got comical and ridiculous. It made her laugh, made the weight on her shoulders lighten. For the first time since she had actually stood on top of the podium, she felt like she had something to celebrate.

Once the bottle was empty, Lando took back the glasses and they said goodnight. Arabella crawled back into bed beside a sleeping Max with a smile permanently tattooed on her face. For the first time since she had arrived in Miami, she fell asleep instantly, her mind finally going quiet enough to let the exhaustion in her bones take over.

The following morning, she followed Max to the racetrack, and at night she found herself on the balcony of Max's hotel room once again. Only this time the reason she couldn't sleep wasn't that her mind wouldn't turn off, it was because after spending the entire day being the Formula One girlfriend she wanted to be a four-time world champion once again.

She wasn't sure why or what part of her made the decision, but she didn't tell Max about her late-night conversations with his teammate.

Chapter Text

April 2024

Levi had spent almost every day at her bedside for an entire month. Which wasn't including the time he had spent with her before he had transferred her home, to Hoorn. As painful as it was to walk the halls that he walked while visiting both of his parents during their final days, it had gotten easier since he was now so close to home.

Still walking into the room to see her sleeping frame and listen to the near-silent beeps and pumps of the machines that were keeping her alive, it wasn't easy. Especially since the room, she occupied was down the hall from the one where their father had spent his final days. Levi had done his best to make the room feel homier, bringing in things from home; blankets, pictures, and anything else that could mask the hospital feel.

"Morning." Levi said to his sleeping sister. "I went by the coffee shop this morning; they were closed." He crossed the room and opened the blinds and letting sunlight illuminate the room. "Les must have slept in again today, seems fitting since it's Thursday." He smiled, remembering all the times they had stopped by the coffee shop and gotten to know the owner. Who, as it turns out, was a fan of 'wet t-shirt Wednesday'. "I had to settle for the coffee vending machine down the hall." He held up his Styrofoam cup, frowning at its contents.

Finally, his eyes fell on her face and the emotion disappeared for a moment, along with some of the color. It had taken him a while to get over the image of the tubs coming from her mouth, especially since deep down he hoped that one day she would just return his greeting. However, it wasn't just the tubes that had started to make the image of his sister hard to bear. After weeks of being in a coma, his sister had lost weight. Her muscle mass had started to drop, and her skin had gotten paler in contrast to the pale green hospital blanket. If it wasn't for the monitors and machines, he would have believed she was dead because that's how she looked.

"Levi." A male voice came from the doorway which tore his attention away from his sister.

"Dr. Andrews." Levi smiled politely. "We've got to stop meeting like this." Dr. Andrews smiled, letting out a breathless, unamused chuckle.

"I will say it's been hard to watch what you're family has gone through."

"She's all I have left." He said, almost as a warning to the doctor. "How is she?"

"I'm sorry, but there's been no change." Levi turned back to his sister, and reaching forward he grabbed her hand.

"She's going to wake up." Levi said and Dr. Andrews took another few steps into the room. "She has to."

"You know I remember when she tore her ACL and her MCL."

"You referred her to a specialist in Amsterdam." Levi commented and the Doctor nodded. "Ultimately saved her career. No one else believed her that there was something wrong, not until you."

"I can't take the credit; all I did was make a phone call. Your father was the one who pushed so hard, he was a very stubborn man."

"That he was." Levi agreed.

"If I remember correctly, stubbornness runs in the family." Levi snorted, chuckling as he nodded in agreement. "There is something I'd like to talk to you about today."

"I know." Levi nodded, his smile fading but he didn't take his eyes off his sister. "I know what today is. I just wanted to see her first."

"I understand. I have reserved a room down the hall, I'll be there when you're ready." Levi tore his eyes away from his sister long enough to give the doctor an appreciated smile.

He waited until the doctor was gone before he finally turned back towards his sister. Slowly he lowered himself into the chair beside her best, never letting go of her hand. Today marked three months since her accident, which meant it was time for the conversation that Levi was dreading the most. There had been other conversations, but three months was the deadline that he and Dr. Andrews had agreed upon.

Three months of no change. Nothing but hope.

"Bells, please don't make me do this." He breathed, lowering his forehead to the blanket. "Please." His voice was breaking. "Open your eyes. Please, just open them. If you won't do it for Max or Lando, then do it for me." He looked up and watched, praying that his sister would open her eyes. Clinging to a sliver of hope that she would wake up before this conversation.

Nothing happened. He lowered his forehead back down to the bed.

"Mr. Van Dijk?" A light female voice came from the doorway and slowly Levi sat up, wiping the tears from his eyes he turned towards the voice.

"Allie, hey." He genuinely smiled as his sister's nurse stepped through the doorway. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm well, thank you." She smiled. "I was just coming by to turn your sister, is that alright?"

"Of course." Levi said, but he didn't move.

"I know what today is." She continued, stepping up to the opposite side of the bed from where Levi was sitting. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate. I know I'm your sister's nurse, but I can also be a friend." He looked up at her, giving her a grateful smile.

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

"Of course."

"I don't know what to do." He admitted, looking back down at his sister. He wrapped her hand in both of his. "I don't want to make the wrong choice."

"That's why you have Dr. Andrews, and if you'd like we can send out for a second or third opinion." She reached across placing a hand on Levi's forearm.

"I..." he stammered, trying to force his voice even, "I'm losing her."

"No, you're not."

"I am." His voice broke and he took a deep breath to try and calm the sobs that were threatening to break free of his throat. "They want me to decide whether to pull the plug or not, whether I think keeping her in a coma is what she would want." He shrugged, tears slipping across his cheeks. "And I have no idea what she would want." She let him cry for a few minutes, to get all his emotions out.

"You do not have to decide anything today. All you have to do today is listen." He nodded, his breathing calming. Allie reached over handing him a Kleenex which he took. "If it's more time you need or you think she needs, then it's more time we can give." She gave him an encouraging smile.

"Thank you." She nodded.

"Why don't you get a real coffee after your meeting, it's bath day for your sister anyways and if I can get it out of the way this morning you can spend as much of the afternoon with her as you need." His eyes met hers and he smiled at her again.

"I would appreciate that." Turning back to his sister he stood and leaned forward enough to brush a kiss against her forehead. "I'll be back later Bells." He promised. "Don't worry, I promise I'll do your hair when I get back." Then he turned and left the room.

When Levi arrived back at his sister's room after his meeting with Dr. Andrews and a decent cup of coffee he was shocked to find Allie sitting at the head of his sister's bed a basin of water beside her.

"I'm sorry, I thought you'd be done by now." He admitted checking his watch, he had been gone for almost two hours.

"Don't worry, the bath is done, I just wanted to give her hair a better wash." Levi stepped further into the room.

"Why would you do that?" He asked, not defensively, just curiously.

"Your sister has stunning hair, and if it were me in this bed I'd hope someone would take the time to care for mine." She shrugged, not looking at him. "I'm sorry if I overstepped."

"No, no please, I appreciate it." He crossed the room finding his chair exactly where he had left it. "I'm sure my sister does too." Allie finally looked at him and smile.

"Can I ask you something?" He nodded.

"Why do you braid her hair?" She asked politely, but it still caught him off guard. "I've just never had a patient whose family takes the time to braid it after every bath. I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's okay." He said with a small smile. "When my sister dislocated her shoulder, my mother used to braid her hair all the time to keep it clean and untangled." He took a deep breath, his eyes resting on his sister's face. "When Arabella finally got shoulder surgery, it was after my mother had died, so my father took it upon himself to learn how to braid before she woke up from surgery." The corner of his lips twitched at the memory. "I guess I just figured it was my turn to learn since it's just me now."

"That's very sweet of you."

"When she was in the hospital in Switzerland, she had more visitors. Her teammates, friends even her boyfriend came to visit all the time." His mouth twitched again. "We used to take turns doing it, there was even her friend who got permission to wash her hair. He said he wanted her hair to be the least of her worries when she woke up."

"No one comes to visit her here?" Allie pressed. "I know Hoorn's not exactly a quick trip..." Levi sighed.

"I told them not to." He admitted, and Allie didn't say anything. "I know that the last thing she would want was for people to pause their own lives just to sit next to her waiting for her to wake up." He took a deep breath. "At first there were a few friends who insister and I let them, but now, no one seems to be calling anymore."

"Well, she's lucky to have you, I don't know if I could make it in every day if my sister was like this."

"It's not been easy, and I'll have to go back to work full-time again soon. There's no unlimited time off for this." He motioned to his sister. "I kept pushing off going back to work so I could make sure her affairs were in order, and as much as I dragged it out, it's done."

"Was there much to do?"

"Not really, she's a Red Bull athlete, so she traveled a lot. Her equipment was spread out over a few facilities, but they had no issues shipping them home to me." She nodded listening intently. "Since she traveled so much for competition, cars and accommodations were always through Red Bull so there was nothing to deal with there, all I had to do was get in touch with her coach and one of the higher-ups at Red Bull to deal with the suspension of her contract." He shrugged. "The hardest was having to drive 15 hours to deal with her apartment."

"15 hours?"

"She has an apartment in Monaco."

"What happened with it?"

"Well turns out she had paid the year out already, so there's nothing to do. She has a friend who lives there that offered to take care of it for me. He already had the spare key."

"That's nice of them." Levi nodded.

"It was the first place she officially moved into after our house here. It has everything from her life before the accident. We both agreed that if she ever woke up it would be better to have that apartment."

"When." Allie corrected and Levi looked up at her, his brows furrowed. "When she wakes up."

"Right." He nodded, looking back down at his sister. "When she wakes up."

"You said it yourself, you're all she has left." She reached forward grabbing his hand. "If you don't have hope, who else is there?" Levi gave her a small smile, wrapping his fingers around hers.

"I can think of two people from her old life that are still holding on to hope." He admitted. "Their lives are just crazy busy."

"Well, then you'll have to hold onto hope enough for the three of you." She smiled.

"I don't know how much longer I can." He admitted, his tone breaking again. "I'm all alone."

"I can help with that." He nodded and lowered his head to his sister's bedside again. Allie stood walking around the bed she wrapped her arms around Levi who was shaking with silent sobs. His one hand came up and gripped her arm in a death grip that made her realize just how alone he was. Just how broken he was.

Chapter Text

June 2023 - Spanish Grand Prix

The night before qualifying in Spain, Lando found himself out on the patio of his hotel suits looking up at the sky. It was a chaotic type of peaceful, standing there his forearms braced against the railing watching the clouds slide by. Constellations could be seen through the breaks in clouds, the stars shining down on him as the cold breeze toyed with the curls of his hair.

Over the course of the weekend the weather was supposed to only get worse, with the forecast calling for a decent rainstorm on Sunday, the day of the race. Wet conditions always made for an interesting race. It usually leveled the playing field. In wet conditions, anyone could win, it didn't matter what car they were driving anymore. Succeeding in wet conditions relied more on the driver.

It also made for a more dangerous race. Although that never stopped any Formula One driver, it may have gotten them to pause over the years, but no one ever backed out because of the weather. Including Lando.

"Fancy seeing you out here." He didn't jump at the sound of her voice, mostly because he had been hoping that he would hear her. That she would slip out onto the neighboring patio like she had done in Miami. It hadn't been the reason he went out there, but it was the reason he stayed out there so long, despite the cool breeze.

"I could say the same to you." Lando turned to face Arabella. She was wrapped in a blanket, her dirty blond hair unbound and hanging around her shoulders. Some of the strands were tucked under the hem of the blanket.

"Fair." She smiled, turning towards the sky she placed her hands on the railing and stared up at the clouded sky.

"Got a lot on your mind again?" The corner of her mouth twitched but she didn't look at him. "Is it your father?"

"No." She admitted. "He's fine, well as fine as he can be all things considered." Lando nodded. "I just wanted some air." Finally, she turned towards him. "What's your excuse?"

"Maybe I'm nervous." Lando shrugged, his face turned away from hers, but the corner of his lips twisted upwards.

"I thought drivers don't get nervous?" There was a challenge in her voice as she cocked her head to the side. It made Lando's smile broaden as he turned back towards her.

"Oh, we get nervous." Lando said taking a step closer to the railing that faced her balcony.

"Is that so? You're not all supper tough macho men?" Arabella mirrored his movements smiling at him. Their eyes never left each others, a tension had slowly started to build between them. Lando could feel it slide over him, it pushed against his diaphragm almost making it harder to breath the closer he got to her.

"Not all of us." He said in an arrogant enough tone that made Arabella snort.

"So, you're just a scared little boy out there in your seat."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "Maybe I'm the tough macho driver."

"I don't believe that." She said shaking her head. Lando raised his eyebrows. "I think you hide it with your jokes and your humor, but deep down you're scared."

"Scared?"

"Nervous. You want to win for you, but more so for your team. For the hard work of everyone who got you there." Lando looking down for a moment. "You care, a lot."

"I do, do I?" She nodded. "You seem to know me better than most." It was her turn to look down, away from him. He watched her for a moment as the moonlight hit the side of her face. "You seem like you're doing better." The corner of her lips twitched in a relieved smile at the change in subject. "I actually saw you smile at the track today."

"I wasn't there for long."

"I still noticed." Their eyes met again, and her smile was broad across her face, she liked knowing that he noticed her.

"I am doing better. Thanks." She looked back up at him. "Is this where you show me that you know me better than most?" Lando laughed, shaking his head.

"Only better than one." The words were out before he could stop them, and he could tell they were a mistake by the shift on her face. Her eyes widened, her lips parted and then she looked down. Away from him. "I'm sorry I..."

"It's okay." She shook her head taking a small step backwards. "I should go back inside."

"You don't have too." He said almost reaching for her, but he decided against it.

"No, I should..." She kept shaking, her eyes darting everywhere like she was starting to panic. "I don't want you to get the wrong impression?"

"The wrong impression?" His brows furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about we're just friends."

"Are we?" Her eyes met his and Lando's brows un-furrowed, lifting up to his hairline.

"I thought so."

"I just...." Her breath caught, and she paused. Lando watched as words flew behind her eyes as if she was deciding between what she wanted to say and what she should say. "I should go."

"I don't want you too." He said as she turned back towards the door. "And I don't think you want too either."

"What are you talking about?"

"Have you told him?" He motioned towards the hotel room behind her. "About our late-night talks on dark patios?" She leaned back slightly, looking at him like he had slapped her across the face. It gave him his answer.

"Why does that matter?"

"I'm just curious why'd you keep it a secret." She didn't say anything for a few long moments, which made the corner of his lips twist upwards. He knew he was right. "Unless..."

"I don't like what you're insinuating." She cut him off.

"I'm not insinuating anything." Lando said putting his hands up in defense. "I'm just calling it as I see it." His mistake wasn't in calling her out, but it was the arrogance that seeped from him after he did it. Lando chuckled shortly and crossed his arms over his chest. He could see it in her face. Her eyes looked him over before she took another step back.

"Is that so?" Her tone had shifted. "You think just because we had a few conversations on a dark patio that we somehow have some special bond?" He snorted, shaking his head. "God, all you drivers are so arrogant." Arabella kept taking a few steps back shaking her head. "Lando, I love Max."

"I am aware of that." His tone was snappier than he wanted, and he realized it as she flinched. A look of pain sliding across her face. "He's your boyfriend."

"And he's your teammate." She snapped back, the word struck him across the face. His face must have mirrored the feeling of shock because she nodded. "Exactly, we shouldn't even be friends."

Before Lando could recover and say anything, Arabella disappeared back into her room.

The night before the race, Lando was out on his patio again. Only this time the clouds were heavier, and no stars could be seen. The wind was picking up and more than a few times he considered getting another blanket to wrap around himself. Qualifying had gone well, he qualified third, which would set him up nicely for the race in the morning. Max had gotten pole, but there hadn't been any rain, only a lot of wind.

Despite the race in the morning, Lando stayed out well into the hours of the morning. The whole time he held onto the hope that he wouldn't be alone for long. That the sliding doors on the neighboring patio would slide open. That he would be able to get all the guilt he had been carrying with him all day off his chest. He would finally be able to talk to her, to apologize, even though a part of him knew he wasn't completely wrong. Or at least hoped he wasn't.

However, as the hours started to stack against him, and the wind picked up bringing in more threatening-looking clouds Lando realized she wasn't coming.

Competition didn't breed good friendships, at least that had been Arabella's experience. One of her biggest competitors was Katie, a British snowboarder who had been on the circuit longer than her and was also a Red Bull sponsored athlete. This meant that she trained at the same facilities and was invited to the same events. So, their paths crossed regularly. They had always been civil to each other, up until Arabella started to dominate the circuit. There were a few snide comments exchanged, but it was mostly playful banter between them. The kind that pushed them both to be the best.

It wasn't until their paths crossed along the Formula One circuit that their relationship started to thaw. Since they both attended as Red Bull athletes, they attend the same events and were even put up in the same hotel. They were still enemies on their own circuit while they were competing, but when they saw each other on the racing circuit, a sort of friendship started to form.

Both too stubborn to admit it.

Arabella had seen her around the circuit at a few races, and they would exchange pleasantries or small nods from across the room with the twitch of a lip but that was about it. In Spain, however, Katie had made her way to the table that Arabella was sitting at in the paddock club to watch the race and pulled up the chair beside her.

They didn't speak much, both focused on the start of the race, just enough to find out that they were both there unaccompanied. At least during the race. Arabella was thankful that Katie wasn't the conversational type. Not that she wasn't thankful for the company, but she was not in the mood to talk about anything.

The morning of the race was miserable. Not just because of the weather but because Arabella was still playing the conversation with Lando over and over in her head. She hated that he had insinuated that she had more than just platonic feelings for him. The way their conversation had ended made her so angry that she hadn't been able to sleep the rest of the night and had been exhausted and miserable during qualifying.

For the race, she had been invited to watch the race in the Red Bull garage but had turned it down for the paddock club which wasn't as fun but it would keep her out of the garage. Most importantly away from Lando. Katie hadn't said anything when she noticed the snowboarder up in the club instead of in the garage, even though she knew that's where Arabella usually watched the race. Instead, she just slid into the seat opposite her and watched the race.

The rain didn't start coming down hard until halfway through the race. It wasn't that much of a shock since the teams were watching the radars and most of the cars had started on the wet or intermediate tires. The big issue was visibility. A lot of spectators speculated if it was safe enough to keep the race going.

At one point Katie reached across the table and took Arabella's hand in hers. Arabella gave her a thankful, small, smile before turning back to one of the television screens in the club.

"He's going to be fine." She breathed and Arabella nodded, although she didn't completely believe it.

She heard the crash before she saw it on the television. It echoed around the track, the sound of metal scraping against metal, pavement, and finally ricocheting off the barriers that framed the track. When it appeared on the screen, the commentators were stunned. Everyone around the track had gone completely silent as the car flipped and became airborne. The only sound was the scrapping metal. It landed on its halo, just in time for another car to run into its nose sending it spinning toward another barrier.

That was when she saw the Red Bull Racing logo on the side of the car, just in time for an orange-colored car, a McLaren, collided with the car squishing it against the barrier.

"Did you see who it was?" Someone asked. Katie was squeezing her hand tighter than before the crash.

"It's a Red Bull." Someone else said and Arabella felt her chest starting to cave in. Invisible hands wrapped around her heart refusing to let go.

"It's not Max." Katie said turning to her from across the table, relief in her voice. Arabella looked up long enough to follow her friend's finger as she pointed down to the pit lane where Max was getting out of his car.

She had already known that. There had been a brief moment where the driver number had been visible on the car as it crashed, and she had seen it.

Lando was lying in the medical center at the Spanish Grand Prix listening to the beeping and monotone rhythms of the machines that had leads attached to different parts of his body. The crash had been brutal, but when he watched the replay of it he realized it looked a lot worse than it felt. Although he honestly didn't remember much of it. Just pieces. He remembered the initial contact, the image of sparks above him, which would have been while he was upside down, but then that was it. The next thing he knew he was being helped into the ambulance. He didn't even remember how he got out of the car.

His entire body ached, worse than it had in a long time. It didn't just feel like he had been in a car that had been struck, but it felt like he had been run over by multiple cars. It ached in places he didn't even think it was possible to hurt. So far his exam had come back clear, with no lasting injuries, but he would have to take it easy for a few days.

A part of his mind registered the doors opening at the end of the medical center, which wasn't a very large building, but he didn't think much of it. He assumed it was just someone from Red Bull coming to check on him or take him back to the garage. There was a part of him that wished he could just go back to the hotel and sleep.

"Where is he?" It was a female voice, and it was demanding.

"Who are you?" A medic asked, her tone curious.

"Where is he?" The female voice repeated. "I need to see him."

"Last curtain." The medic didn't sound convinced. A few moments later the curtain was pulled back and two people were standing here. One was the medic, the same one who had helped bring Lando in, she was looking at the second person confused.

"Arabella?" Lando's tone was complete disbelief. She was the last person he expected to see. "What are you doing here?" His eyes raked over her taking in her pale ripped jeans, Red Bull t-shirt, and the baseball hat that was pulled down over her dirty blond hair.

"I.." She stammered her own eyes taking all of him in. The dirty race suit that was hanging off his hips, his bare chest hooked up to monitors that stood on the opposite side of the bed. "I..." She stepped further into the room, her eyes trailing over his chest and abdomen one more time, then finally up to his face. "I was worried." She said after swallowing.

"I'm fine." He assured her, but she didn't look convinced. Sitting up he winced but managed to sit up enough to swing his legs over the side of the bed only grunting in pain a few times. "Ah."

"Are you sure?" She demanded stepping in further and looking over the monitors again.

"Yes." Lando said his hand twitched to reach for her hand, but he stopped himself, instead, he just watched her. "My checks are coming back clear so far, there's one more and then I'm out of here." Her eyes found his again. "I promise, I'm okay."

"Okay." She said her shoulders sagging in relief. "I just..." She trailed off again taking another step forward and a long deep breath. "I was so scared."

"Why?" Her shoulders sagged again like she was reluctant to say it out loud. "I thought we weren't friends." She didn't flinch but her eyes dropped to the floor. Reaching forward he pulled the baseball hat off her head, forcing her to look up at him. He set the hat down flinching slightly, which made her eyes widen in concern, but he ignored it. Lando reached forward pushing a few strands out of her face. It wasn't meant to be an intimate gesture, he just wanted to see her face, but as his fingertips brushed the side of her face he felt her lean into his touch. For a second he thought he imagined it and was completely prepared to blame it on the drugs he hadn't even received yet, but then it happened again. The slightest movement against his fingertips, the pressure of her cheek into his hand.

"I..." She breathed as he slid a thumb across her cheek. The space between them grew smaller, Lando's hand hadn't moved from the side of her face, where he was now cupping her cheek. "Of course we're friends." She let it out with a breath after a few moments of standing there with him.

"Come here." He said and she didn't move, she just looked at her. "Come here." He said again this time in more of a firm tone. Taking another step towards him he slid his arm around her shoulders bringing her head into the crock of his neck. "It's okay."

After a moment Arabella turned into him wrapping both arms around him. Nestling herself into him, taking in the smell of sweat, dirt, and either oil or gas she really didn't know. With each breath, her heart started to slow as if her body just needed a few moments of him to know that he was okay. A few breaths of his scent. Alive, still breathing, his heart beating.

"Race restart, two minutes." Someone outside the curtain said and it was like ice-cold water being poured down her spine. Lando felt it, her body going ridged against his.

"I should go." She said, dropping her arms she stepped away from him.

"Okay." Was all he could think to say in the moment. His eyes looked over her as she started to turn away from him, her face visibly conflicted. "You don't have to," she paused, not looking at him yet, "I wouldn't mind if you stayed." He felt like an idiot. They weren't on the best terms, and he was pushing it, pushing it further than he had on the balcony.

"I shouldn't." She said finally looking at him. "I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea." The words hurt more than he expected, but he did his best to hide it from her.

"Do you love him?" Her face was a mask, he couldn't read it. He could have sworn there was something else in her eyes, but he couldn't be sure. "My teammate." She didn't say anything. Not as he stood from the bed and crossed the distance between them. "If you do, I mean really do, I won't bring it up again. Never." She blinked, her face still impassive. Slowly he reached out and brushed a thumb across her cheek, the corner of his lips twisted. "But if there's even a fraction of you that doesn't, that..." He trailed off stopping himself. His fingers moved over her cheek, tracing the lines of her cheek and jawbone before he dropped his hand. "If you love him, I'll back off. I promise."

The words hung between them waiting to be grabbed and acknowledge. It was a dangerous line Lando was walking, one that had gotten him in trouble just a few nights prior. However, he wanted to know. Needed to know. So he stood there, half naked in body but completely naked in his heart, waiting patiently.

"I do." She said and Lando's breath left his lungs. "I love Max."

"I'll back off then." He said truthfully turning back he slid himself back on the bed, turning his face towards the television.

"Lando..."

"You should go." He said his tone cold and void of any emotion that he had just been showing. "I wouldn't want Max to get the wrong idea." Lando saw her out of the corner of his eye, still standing near the edge of the curtain, but after he blinked she was gone.

With his head starting to throb from the accident, a part of him wondered if she had even been there at all.

Chapter Text

June 2023

Arabella had been to a few weddings before. Over the years she had many family and friends who had tied the knot, even some that had gone black tie with expensive-looking centerpieces and mouth-watering food. However, the wedding of a Formula One driver wouldn't compare to anything she had experienced before. Not only was she a plus one to Max, but the wedding had almost 500 people in attendance and Arabella had only met a handful. Drivers and their significant others along the grid.

"Don't be nervous." Max said pressing his lips to her temple as they rode through the city. She had spent the first half of the trip nervously picking at the hem of her slate-colored gown. It was cold in the air-conditioned car with the thin straps and her bare back against the luxury leather seats. The bodice of the dress was modest enough to contrast the thigh-high slit that cut through the matte fabric of the skirt revealing her toned leg and a pair of silver strappy heels.

"I'm not nervous." She admitted, dropping the hem she smoothed out the fabric of her skirt. "My mind's just cloudy." Thankfully her dirty blond hair was pinned up with only a few strands falling around her face otherwise she would have been running her hands through it all night.

"It's going to be okay." He said sliding his hand across her bare thigh. "Today will be a good distraction." Arabella nodded looking out the passenger window towards the Greek countryside as it blurred by.

They pulled up to the stunning outdoor venue on the coast overlooking the ocean. Max introduced her to a few important people as well as some of the more famous ones that made Arabella's jaw drop before shaking her hand. There were people from all over in attendance, most of them worked for a Formula One team or knew someone who did. The rest of them were personal friends and family of the bride and groom. By the time they took their seats, there were more names swirling in her head than there were places to store them.

As they rose for the entrance of the bride, Arabella watched as Theodora Drakos took her first few steps down the aisle. She looked stunningly beautiful in white lace paired marvelously with a look of pure happiness as her eyes landed on her groom standing at the other end of the aisle. That was when Arabella turned and looked past everyone looking at the bride and looked at the groom.

Pierre Gasly was a handsome man who looked excellent in a suit. However, the most attractive thing about him at that moment was the way he looked at his bride walking down the aisle toward him. He was hopelessly in love with her, so much so that tears started to well in his eyes.

The love that was present there, being shared between Pierre and Theodora seemed to warm the air around them. It warmed Arabella's heart and her entire body. It was all a blur, watching Theo meet her groom at the end of the aisle and accepting to spend the rest of her life with him. At some point, Max slid his hand into hers and leaned into her slightly their shoulders touching.

"I love you." Her tone was barely above a whisper.

"What was that?" Max asked turning towards her.

"I love you." She repeated, this time her voice high enough so he could hear. He smiled, pressing his lips to her temple, and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, bringing her in closer.

Pierre and Theodora were completely mad for each other. If it hadn't been obvious during the ceremony in the way they looked at each other, or their personally written vows, it became more obvious during their wedding reception. They spent every second of their wedding reception touching each other in some way. If they were talking to guests, it was either by holding hands or Pierre would fold a piece of fabric from her dress between his fingers. If they were eating their shoulders were touching, even if they were engaged in conversations with the bridal party on either side. It was heartwarming to watch.

When it came time for the first dance, it was as if there was no one else in the room but them. As if they were stuck in their own little bubble. The way they looked at each other, it wasn't something that everyone was watching, it was something everyone was feeling. The love the newly wedded couple had for each other radiated from them. Love that threatened to blow the roof off the reception venue.

"I never heard their story." Arabella admitted. She stood along the perimeter of the dance floor with Max and Lando.

"They met through Alpha Tauri, she was their second driver." Max said with a shrug bringing his champagne to his lips.

"I heard about the female drive." Bella admitted.

"She was pretty good too." Lando admitted.

"Was?"

"She was in a bad crash not too long ago." Lando turned towards her, keeping his voice low. "It almost killed her."

"That was her?" Lando nodded.

"Pierre couldn't do anything; he was forced just to watch and wait." Lando went on, glancing back toward the happy couple. "They weren't technically together when it happened, but after the race, he said he didn't want to spend another minute without her." A smile spread across his face. "He proposed to her in the hospital."

"That's so romantic." She mumbled and Lando nodded.

"It really is." Lando said his eyes shifting from the happy couple. "To love someone so much that you can't imagine spending one moment without them."

"That's pretty rare."

"I wouldn't say so." Arabella smiled, sliding her fingers through Max's. Her eyes trailed from the happy couple toward their intertwined fingers. A little jolt of electricity slid up her arm as his thumb ran across her knuckles. Her breath caught and for a moment, the world around her fell away. It felt so amazing, so good, standing there with him.

It overwhelmed her.

"I need a drink." She mumbled before taking off towards the bar. She ordered a drink, then another, and downed them both. Letting the burn of the tequila clear her mind and remove the sensation from her limbs.

"Everything okay?" Max asked coming up behind her. His arms snaked around her waist as he brought her into his chest. The sensation that had overwhelmed her was gone and she sighed in relief as she leaned into him.

"Everything is perfect." She smiled. "Let's just get drunk and have a good time."

The following day Max and Arabella spent most of the day in bed nursing self-induced headaches from too much champagne and tequila. As soon as the 'do not disturb' sign went up on the door, the television went on and it was cheesy movies and room service food till almost 4 in the afternoon. Arabella was far sicker than Max was since he was technically still in between races, but he stayed with her all the same. Even skipped his workout to stay in bed with her.

It was late in the afternoon when they decided to trade their bed and movies for lounging chairs and the pool. They found a few of the other wedding guests nursing their own hangovers some with sun and sleep, others with more drinks at the poolside bar. Lando was among the loungers although he wasn't as hungover as most.

"There you two are." He commented, looking between the pair of them from behind his sunglasses. "I was about to send up a search party."

"Oh shush." Maxed waved him off and Arabella smiled rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Please." Arabella didn't try to hide the want in her voice, which made Lando giggle from his chair. Max nodded heading off towards the bar.

"How ya feeling?" Lando asked while she set her stuff down on the chair beside him.

"Just peachy." She growled. Sitting down she tossed her phone on the little table between them. "I'm not sure what did me in, the tequila or the champagne."

"Perhaps the mixture of both, there was also wine served with dinner." She groaned, which made him laugh.

"Here you go." Max said handing her a colorful drink with a little umbrella.

"Thank you." She said taking a long sip.

"How did your night turn out?" Max asked, settling beside her. "I saw you dancing with that blond bridesmaid." His tone suggested more than he was saying and Lando laughed nervously at the implication.

"That's my cue." Arabella said standing up and setting her drink down on the table. "I'm going for a swim."

"Sure, because that'll help." Lando commented as she walked away. Arabella turned, flipping him off before she walked around to the stairs and slipped into the water.

The water was cool against her skin which sent a jolt through her, waking her up and removing some of the fog from her brain. It helped with the aches in her limbs but did nothing about to headache or the uneasiness in her stomach. Leaning back, she dipped the back of her head into the water, letting the cool water slide through the strands of her hair.

"Hey, Bella?" Lando called, but her ears were underwater so she couldn't quite hear him. "Bella?" He called again and this time she pulled her head out of the water turning back to where Lando was sitting.

"Are you calling my name?" She asked and he nodded, standing he held out her phone to her.

"Your brother's calling you." He stood, crossing towards the edge of the pool he held out her phone.

"He's fine." He shrugged, glancing back down at her phone.

"Okay, he's calling again." He held it up. Frowning Arabella came to the edge of the pool and took the phone from him.

"Thanks." Taking it, she struggled to the answer button because of wet fingers, and she missed the call again. "Fuck." She breathed, handing it back to Lando. "Hopefully he left a message." Lando was halfway turned back towards his chair when the phone started buzzing again.

"Do you want me to just...?" He offered and she nodded. "Hello? No, it's Lando, she's just in the pool. Yeah, one sec." He held the phone out to her. "I think it's important."

"Thank you." She smiled putting the phone to her ear. "Hey, Levi."

"I didn't realize you were with Lando."

"I'm with both Lando and Max. Pierre and Theodora's wedding was yesterday."

"Oh, right."

"What's up?"

"It's dad." Her heart stopped. Lando noticed the change in her body language.

"What happened, is he okay?"

"Bells, it's time to come home." Levi took a deep breath on the other end of the line, his tone urgent and somber. "You have to come home, now."

The world around her slowed. Her heartbeat picked up in her ears making anything Levi said after telling her to come home sound nothing more like far away mumbles. She felt like there was an elephant sitting on her chest making it almost impossible to breathe.

"Bella?" A voice cut through the fog. "Bella are you okay?"

"I have to go." She mumbled, pushing her way through the water toward the stairs. It was a blur; getting to the chair and gathering her stuff, trying to wrap her brain around what her brother said and what it meant.

"Wait, Bella stop." Max was in front of her blocking her way toward their room. "What's going on."

"It's my dad, I have to go home." She stumbled on the words.

"What do you mean?" She tried to step past him, but he wouldn't let her, his hands reaching out to grab her arms. "Talk to me, who was that on the phone?"

"It was Levi, he told me I have to come home."

"That's it?"

"What do you mean that's it?" She yanked her arms free. "Are you not listening, it's my father." Her tone was sharp, pained but sharp.

"No, I heard you I just..."

"I have to go Max." She pushed past him hurrying back towards their room. Max followed her, trying to keep up with her. When she got back to the room, she blew through packing, throwing everything that she could find into her suitcase.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He offered as he handed her some of her toiletries from the bathroom. She paused her packing to just stare at him for a moment before she turned away and continued packing. "Or do you not want me to come?"

"Why wouldn't I want you to come?"

"I don't know because you don't sound like you do." She paused flipping her suitcase closed.

"And what am I supposed to sound like?"

"I'm just trying to be here for you." She didn't say anything for a few moments, and he stood, crossing to the room to see her. "Just let me do that for you."

"Max," she stepped around him, "I honestly don't care if you come or go, but I have to leave right now."

"But..."

"But nothing," she waved him off sliding her coat on and grabbing her suitcase, "you probably have race things to do anyways."

"Bella..." He started but she didn't let him finish.

"Max, please." Arabella's voice broke. "The only thing I know for sure right now is that I have to go." Their eyes met from across the room, and he could see all the pain and fear there.

"I know." He took a step towards her, but stopped, instead he gave her a reassuring smile. "Call me when you... just call me." She nodded and then was gone.

After the longest plane ride of her life, and a train from Amsterdam to Horn she was finally home. The entire time she had clung to the hope of seeing her father one last time. All she wanted was the chance to say goodbye. It was all that had stopped her from completely breaking down on the plane or the train.

However, the moment she stepped off the train in Horn, something felt off. It was as if the air was different, or the ground under her feet. Something around her was telling her that stepping onto that train platform was nothing like all the times she had done it before.

Four days later, she was standing in his presence, only she was dressed in black, and he was lying still in a wooden box.

Stepping back into a Hoorn that no longer had her father was something Arabella hadn't been prepared for. It was as if there was a memory they shared together around every corner. The house they grew up in, his favorite restaurant, where he taught her how to fish. The entire town was soaked in memories of her father. Some good and some bad.

Preparations for the funeral had been easy; once her father had discovered there was no coming back from his illness he made all the arrangements himself. All Levi and Arabella had to do was show up and meet with the lawyer. There were a few hosting duties to fulfill. Old friends and distant relatives who had made their way to Horn for the funeral wanted to drop off food, and flowers during the days leading up to the funeral. The hardest part was listening to them talk about their father realizing that Arabella had taken for granted the last few months.

The entire time she had ignored the phone calls from Max. She didn't know what she would say to him if she answered and even then she didn't know if she wanted to hear what he had to say either. However, the morning of the funeral he showed up wearing a black suit, a somber smile, and holding a simple bouquet of daisies. Her favorite flower.

She didn't realize just how much she had wanted someone there with her. To spend the day next to her helping her to not fall over or break. Arabella didn't say much to him, or to anyone past simple greetings. All her focus was on getting through the day and trying to come to terms with the fact that she was now, officially, an orphan.

Chapter Text

July 2024 - Austrian Grand Prix

The Austrian Grand Prix was a completely different atmosphere for both Lando Norris and Max Verstappen than it had been in previous years. Not only was it because Max was no longer his teammate, but it was also his first season back with McLaren. It was a move that, to Lando, felt like coming home. Which was exactly what he had needed after the end of the previous season. All Max had cared about was that Lando's contract with Red Bull wasn't renewed for the 2024 season. After that, he really didn't care what team he ended up with.

During his track walk, Lando purposefully made himself busy so that he could be one of the last drivers to leave. His team didn't seem to mind, they hardly made a comment when he suggested it giving some lame excuse about wanting to take his time. It was a mutual respect that Lando would never take for granted again. This team, these individuals, were family to him. The kindness they had shared with him after his return, it would not go forgotten. He was determined to pay them back in the only way he knew how.

By winning.

The track hadn't changed, not since before Lando's debut into Formula Ona. This track was where he had managed his first podium, way back in 2020. It seemed like a lifetime ago and in many ways, it had been a lifetime ago. He now walked the track as a completely different man.

Since the track hadn't changed much, the walk was mostly silent. His engineer explained the different areas of the track and their expectations and strategies. There were a few comments of the weather and how the conditions would change depending on the forecast predictions.

When they came to the last corner of the track; turn 16, without realizing it Lando had started to slow his pace. His eyes searched through the fence, looking for the break that had been there the year before. The break where he had snuck onto the track late on a night he hadn't forgotten.

"Lando?" One of his engineers asked and he turned his face towards him smiling from behind his sunglasses, he motioned back towards the fence.

"They fixed it." The rest of his entourage kept walking, only now noticing their driver had stopped and paused their own walks. The engineer gave Lando a puzzled look as he looked over the fence as if there was going to magically be a hole in it.

"What are you talking about?" He watched as Lando reached the fence, placing his hand over the concrete barrier the fence erupted from.

"There was a break in the fence here." He said running his hands up the chain link that had been repaired.

"This is where Latifi hit the barrier last year." He motioned looking around at where they were. "They would have fixed it before they held another race here. Safety reasons."

"Right." He mumbled picking at the flowers on the other side of the fence before he turned and started walking again. "Sorry, this racetrack holds a lot of memories."

"I can imagine." The engineer nodded as they got closer to the rest of them. "I reckon it has room to hold more." Lando nodded, glancing down at the flower in his hands. He spun the stem around between his fingertips. "What is that?"

"It's a lilac." Lando smiled.

"That's P1 Lando."

Pure silence followed as Lando brought his car into its cool-down lap. Emotions were flooding through him as he rounded the first then the second corner. An uncontrollable smile spread across his face as his black-gloved hands came up to grab the sides of his helmet. As if that would help.

"Good job mate." His engineer continued, but all Lando could do was nod. If he had a voice, he couldn't find it. Couldn't produce any words. At that moment, he just had to allow his entire body to feel the emotions that had coursed through him.

When he got his car around and pulled up to the P1 spot he finally was ready to celebrate.

"Fuck yeah!" He screamed after crawling out of his car. Standing on top of it he shoved his fist into the air and smiled, even though his helmet was still on, and no one could see him. His body language gave away just how happy he was.

He could hear his team yelling as he jumped down and ran across to them throwing himself into their awaiting arms. There was enough happiness coursing through him that he hardly noticed when the fence that separated him from his teammate jabbed him in the stomach.

"Lando, I have to..." His assistant said from where she stood at the edge of the excited McLaren mechanics.

"Where's Max?"

"He had to retired mate." One of the mechanics cut in.

"Does that mean?" His engineer grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

"You're first in the driver's mate!" Lando jumped back over the fence for another round of celebratory hugs and cheers.

It wasn't the first time he had won that season, but this win put him in the front of the driver's championship standings. Which was a first for his career. It made the win that much sweeter. Not just because of his personal history with Max, but also because of the team behind him. Standing up on the podium listening to the British national anthem play around him, threatened to bring tears to his eyes.

Somehow as the anthem came to an end, his eyes found Max in the crowd below him. Perhaps it was because there was one person he wanted to share this with, and Max understood it. More than anyone. When their eyes met Max gave him a slight nod of congratulations. It was that small interaction that made his face easier to spot once Lando lifted the bottle of champagne and prepared to spray the crowd below.

His entire world slowed.

He watched as Max's eyes shifted from the podium to the side of the crowd as if someone had called his name. His entire face changed as he realized who had been calling his name, then he started pushing aggressively toward the edge of the crowd.

Max didn't glance up at Lando once, not for a second.

Lando tried to turn his attention back to his victory, his moment, but then something caught his eye. The same way the lilacs had as he walked past turn 16. A blur of blonde hair. Thin, pale arms were thrown around Max's neck as the woman threw herself at him.

Lando refused to believe what his heart was telling him. Not until Levi Van Dijk stepped into his view.

Somehow he didn't drop his bottle of champagne, however, some from his podium neighbors sprayed along his side, and slipped into his mouth. He hated the taste, but at that moment he couldn't taste anything. His heart had skipped so many beats Lando felt it had stopped altogether.

Perhaps he was dreaming.

That would make the most sense.

Excitement seeped through him as he turned and shook the champagne bottle trying to spray his competitors since they had just sprayed him. Nothing could have made today better, nothing, except for that sight. His entire body was alive with excitement and relief.

She was alive, she had woken up. Turning back towards them he opened his mouth to scream her name, call to her, jump off the balcony if he had to. All he cared about was getting off the podium and seeing her. This was his moment, his day, his time to shine and she was here. She was alive and she was here for him.

The bottle of champagne slipped from his hands, smashing on the ground at his feet.

This wasn't a dream; it was a nightmare. Although even his worst nightmares hadn't conjured up what he was witnessing in front of him.

Max Verstappen had his arms wrapped around the frail-looking blonde figure, holding her up as if she was an angel sent from heaven. His fingers brushed back a few strands of her hair, and his face of pure happiness was mirrored on hers. Her hand came up and delicately cupped the side of his face.

Lando's knees threatened to give out as he watched his ex-teammate lean in and press his lips to Arabella Van Dijk.

A small silver band glinted in the sunlight, wrapping around her finger.

Chapter Text

Earlier in July 2024

Ten missed calls. It was enough to make Levi's heart pound in his ears. Especially considering who it was from; the long-term care facility that her sister was currently staying in. The eleventh call went through, and Levi listened long enough to hear the words 'ambulance' and 'emergency room' before he tossed his phone on his passenger seat and just drove. He had never cared less about speed limits, traffic signs, or other drivers on the road. Luckily for him, there wasn't any police or traffic enforcement on the roads, and the trip from his house to the hospital was short.

Levi hardly had time to shove the gearshift in park before he jumped out of the car and bolted towards the hospital doors. His shoes were mismatched, his jeans a few days old, and his sweatshirt was on backwards.

Not that it mattered. He couldn't remember what he was wearing when he had gotten the call that his father had died or the call about his mother. The only thing he remembered was flashes after the worst had been confirmed.

However, this time, he remembered everything.

It felt like he was walking through a tunnel. The lights were blinding but blurred somehow at the same time. The sounds were muffled and far away. Everything around him seemed to be moving at a glacier but also at hyper speed. Before he was ready, he was standing at the nursing station asking about her.

"I'm looking for my sister, Arabella Van Dijk?" He was surprised at how even his voice was.

"Levi?" A familiar voice slid through the fog and suddenly the blinders lifted from around him and he could see more than just the nurse in front of him. "Levi?" It sounded even clearer and closer than the first time. He turned his eyes focusing on a familiar face.

"Allie?" The nurse smiled, her auburn hair was loose around her shoulders and her scrubs were replaced by street clothes, jeans, and a long sleeve shirt. "Where is she?"

"Come, I'll show you." She motioned for him to follow her, and he did. "There's something you should know before..."

"Don't." He said shaking his head. "Please."

"She's through there." She said stopping in front of a closed door. "I'll be out here if you need me." Allie placed a hand on his arm, giving it an encouraging squeeze and he nodded thanks to her before stepping up to the door.

As he pushed it open and stepped over the threshold of the hospital room, he felt like his knees were about to give out. His head was light, and the room started to spin. The faint sound of beeping filled the room, the same beeping he had heard over his many visits.

The room stilled as his mind started to comprehend what his eyes were taking in. His sister was lying in bed, her face turned towards him, but there were no more tubes. Her rosy cheek was resting on the pale green pillow, her chapped lips pushed into a smile and her light blue eyes were open.

"Hey." Her tone was breathless, barely audible, but it was there.

"Hey." He breathed.

"You didn't think I'd leave you too, did you?" A broken half chuckle half sob escaped her lips, and it was enough to shatter the last thread holding Levi's emotions in. Stepping forward he crossed the room towards his sister with tears welling in his eyes. They had never been the most affectional siblings. The only reason he could remember the last time he hugged her was because of their father's funeral. However, at that moment he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her frail frame into his arms.

"I thought." He leaned back looking her over, his hand pressed to the side of her face. "Oh my god, I thought..."

"I know." She smiled. "I'm sorry I took such a long nap." He laughed, which turned into a choked snort.

"It's okay." He said shaking his head as more tears started to trickle down his cheeks. "I mean I would have preferred a shorter one." She giggled a glorious sound that Levi thought he'd never hear again. It was almost foreign to his ears.

"I'm sorry I put you through losing dad alone."

"It's okay." He smiled, truthfully. "The only thing that matters is that you're okay." Arabella nodded, wrapping her arms around her brother again. He took note of how frail and fragile she felt.

"They said you have my phone?" She asked leaning back after a few moments. Levi's nodded leaning back far enough to give her space, but not enough that he had to let her go completely.

"I do, it's back at the house."

"Dad's house?" He nodded. "I just want to call Max. Let him know I'm alright."

"Max?" His brows furrowed in confusion, but she just nodded.

"We didn't leave it very well the last time I saw him." Levi's brows remained furrowed as he just stared at her for a moment. "I know, I know it was our father's funeral and I was feeling a lot of emotions, but that's still not an excuse."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Excuse me?" Dr. Andrews stepped into the room. "I was wondering if I could steal Arabella for a few more scans?"

"More? But he just got here."

"I know, I'm sorry." Dr. Andrews looked between the two of them. It was a sight he had been praying for since Arabella had arrived in the hospital. It hurt to pull them apart. "I promise to have her back soon, I promise."

"I'll be right here when you get back." Levi said turning back towards his sister. "I promise, once you're cleared we'll get the hell out of here and go wherever you want to go." She nodded, smiling and Levi leaned forward brushing a tear from her cheek.

Dr. Andrews gave a nod out of the door and an orderly with a wheelchair accompanied by a nurse entered the room. They helped Arabella out of bed and into the wheelchair. Levi had been warned by nurses and doctors while her sister was in a coma she would lose weight. They kept her hydrated, healthy, and nourished, but she hadn't stood in months. The move from the bed to the chair looked like the hardest thing she'd ever done.

She gave him a small wave as she was wheeled out of the room and he smiled, watching her go, not taking his eyes off her until even her shadow was gone.

"Levi, we have to talk to you." Dr. Andrews said stepping further into the room, followed closely by Allie.

"If you're about to tell me that there's something else wrong with her, please don't."

"Levi." Allie stepped closer to him. Reaching out she touched his arm again. "It's about her memory." He glanced between her hand, her face, and then the doctors.

"Lots of patients that have suffered a brain injury, have some difficulty with memory recall."

"I'm confused." Levi admitted, taking a step back. "What are you saying?"

"The last thing your sister remembers," Allie spoke her tone soft, "is your father's funeral."

"That was a year ago."

"I know."

"The missing months of her memory could be a side effect of the coma or the brain injury. Which is why they're doing more tests and scans to get a better idea." Dr. Andrews slid his hands into his pockets. "See if there is something we can do."

"What if there isn't?"

"Sometimes the amnesia can correct itself on its own."

"Sometimes?"

"Unfortunately, there is still much about the brain we don't know." He admitted as Allie gave him an encouraging squeeze of his arm. "The most important thing right now is to keep her from any more distress. Her mind is still fragile. In the same way, her body needs time to get back to normal, and so does her brain."

"What are you saying? We don't tell her?"

"No, we have to." Dr. Andrews said quickly. "I have someone from psych coming down to help break the news to her."

"Psych? She's not crazy."

"No, she's not, but she's going to need help getting through this." Levi nodded slowly starting to understand. "You might also." He glanced up at the doctor raising his eyebrows. "Your sister is going to need you now more than ever. It's going to be hard on both of you."

"What do I have to do?"

"The best thing for her, once she's released, is getting back to a semi-normal routine. She's not going to have the strength to go back to her old life right away but doing some of the things she did before the accident might help jog something in her memory."

"Okay." He nodded. "And that's proven to work?"

"As I said, there's a lot about the brain that we don't know about. If there isn't anything medical causing the amnesia, there's, unfortunately, nothing we can do medically to cure it."

"That sort of made sense." Dr. Andrews smiled.

"I know it's not the best news, but she's awake and so far all her tests are coming up clear. If it wasn't for the amnesia, I'd say she's close to a full recovery."

"Thank you, Dr. Andrews, that is good news."

"It's been too long since I could give you any." Levi nodded. "I'll have her back soon."

"Dr. Andrews?" Levi called as the doctor moved towards the door. "Can I be the one to break it to her?" He asked his tone heavy. "She'll take it easier if it's me."

"I'm sure the representative from psych would agree. I'll let them know you'd like to speak to them before your sister is back." Levi nodded.

Levi struggled with figuring out the best way to tell his sister the truth for the better part of the hour that she was gone. Not only was the idea of telling her terrifying, not just because of what the doctor said, but also because there was a part of him that didn't want to tell her at all. His sister had always been one of the strongest people that Levi had ever known. The word 'fragile' had never been used to describe any part of his sister.

Until now.

She was his only sister and sibling, she had been his rock not only after both of their parents had died but for most of their lives. They weren't the most affectionate siblings; however, they had spent every Christmas, every Easter, and every other holiday they could think of together. No matter what was happening or where they were in their lives.

Except now, she was the one who needed him more than he needed her. She even needed his protection from her own mind.

By the time his sister was wheeled back into her room, Levi still hadn't figured out exactly how he was going to tell her only that he didn't want to put it off any longer. Dr. Andrews followed her in accompanied by another doctor appearing over his shoulder. She was an older woman, with grey hair, and gold-rimmed glasses, and in place of scrubs, she wore a blouse and slacks.

"Did you call Max yet?" Arabella asked as the orderlies helped her back into bed. Somehow she looked more exhausted than when she left, which Levi hadn't realized was possible. Despite the exhaustion, her face lit up when she spoke, the same way it had before they had broken up.

"I haven't." He admitted, glancing sideways at the new doctor who gave him a small smile of encouragement. Swallowing he stepped forward and took a seat on the side of her bed. "Bells, there's something that I have to tell you."

"What is it?" Levi looked down which caused Arabella to look from Levi to the two doctors. "You're scaring me." He looked up giving her a small reassuring smile before reaching forward and taking her hand in his.

"Do you remember when dad died? The funeral?" She nodded. "That was almost a year ago."

"What, I don't..." She trailed off her face twisting in confusion as her brain tried to comprehend what he was saying. "I thought they said I was only in a coma for five months?"

"You were..."

"I don't understand then." Her tone was becoming panicked.

"There is a whole in your memory." He continued, trying his best to keep his own voice even. "If the last thing you remember is dad's funeral, then it's about eight months." Arabella looked like someone had slapped her across the face. "The doctors say it could have something to do with the accident or the coma, but at this time they don't really know for sure. That's why they're running so many tests to figure out if the amnesia is something they can fix."

"And if it isn't?"

"It can fix itself on its own." She looked away; her eyes clouded over with a mixture of emotions.

"That's why you haven't called Max?" He nodded as realization washed over her. "What happened, did he move on?"

"I don't know." He admitted, which was almost the truth. Levi didn't know exactly what happened leading up to Arabella and Max calling it quits. All he knew was that after their father's funeral, there was no more Max. "All I know is when I transferred you here from Switzerland, I told them both that you'd be upset if they just sat around waiting for you to wake up."

"Both of them?"

"Max and Lando."

"Right, Max's teammate Lando." A shadow of a smile crossed her lips. "Wait, it's race season isn't it?" Levi nodded. "We can't call him."

"They deserve to know."

"I know, but I can't do that to him. Max needs his focus before the race, especially if he wants another world title." Levi glanced back at the doctors who were looking at each other, the grey-haired woman writing something down on a clipboard. "How long till I can travel?" Dr. Andrews blinked.

"I'd like to keep you here for a few more days." He admitted. "But as long as Dr. Long," he motioned to the woman beside him, "signs off on it, I'm sure we can get you out of here by the end of the week, and as long as it's not anything too strenuous I can't see why you can't go on a little trip."

"End of the week?" She turned back to her brother her face lit up with excitement. "Which race is that?" Levi shook his head.

"I don't know, honestly."

"Can we find out?" Levi pulled his phone out and typed a few words into the search engine.

"Austria." He glanced over his shoulder at Dr. Andrews who gave a small nod of approval as if he already knew what the trip was going to be. "If the doctors say it's okay, how about a little trip to Austria?"

"Are you serious?" Arabella's hands cupped her face, her eyes as big and sparkling as he had ever seen them. It almost made tears well in his eyes to see her that happy, that excited.

"I thought I'd never see you again Bells, I'll do anything for you now."

Chapter Text

July 2024 - Austrian Grand Prix

Max couldn't find the words, not in English or in Dutch, to describe the rush of emotions that had gone through him from the first moment he heard his name.

At first, it was like a whisper on the wind, as if it had been conjured by his own mind, but then it came again, this time louder. It was impossible not to recognize the voice as if someone had poured ice water down his spine. His eyes darted around in desperation. He wasn't sure what he expected to find. There was a part of him convinced his own mind had conjured it up, just a sick joke his brain played on himself. There was no owner of that voice, not here, not in Austria.

Then there was the underlying hope, the same way that had dwindled away over the weeks and months. The hope that every time he walked into a new room, or around a corner, she would be there.

No, this was definitely a dream.

Except for one discrepancy. In his dream, she was just the same as he had last seen her. Her hair was long and shimmering in the sunlight, her eyes big and blue and those limbs were toned and tanned. Never in any dream, had he imagined her so frail and so fragile. Never had he dared picture her with the dark circles under her eyes, or the flat heaviness of her hair. She had lost weight, a lot of it, her fingers long and bony as she brought them to her lips. Those lips that parted when their eyes met.

"Bella." He breathed, turning he shoved his way through the crowd. Not bothering to pay attention to the protests or the rude remarks. All he cared about was getting to her before she floated away on the wind before she disappeared, or he realized that she was someone else. That his mind had stamped her face onto the face of someone similar.

That's how it happened in his dreams, he would see her, run to her, and then she would be gone. Replaced by the reality; she was lying in a coma miles and miles from him.

However, instead of moving away from him, she was moving toward him. They were getting close, and when he reached her, she threw her arms around him, bringing their bodies together. It took him a few seconds to realize that this was too cruel to be a dream.

"I'm sorry I didn't call." She said snapping him out of whatever trance he had been in. Arabella leaned back, just enough to look at his face. Max was at a loss for words, his entire body still trying to process what was happening. "I knew if I did, you'd drop everything, and it's race weekend." His head was shaking, his tongue trying to form words.

"I..." She smiled, and the sight of it took his breath away. "I can't believe it." It was all the worried he could manage as she ran a hand along the side of his face. "Bella, I'm so sorr..." He didn't get to finish his sentence as she pressed her lips to his.

Despite how amazing it felt, he pulled back almost instantly. There had been a hundred different ways he had imagined this moment; this had never been one of them. It didn't make any sense. None. She shouldn't want this, didn't want this, that much he was sure of. Not to mention Kelly.

Kelly.

He couldn't do this. Shouldn't be doing this. But, her face was confused, almost hurt that he had pulled away. The one emotion that was missing, was regret. She knew what she was doing.

She was awake.

"Bella I..." he trailed off not knowing how to tell her, not knowing if he could or even wanted to form the words.

"Max, just kiss me." She placed a hand on the center of his chest. "Levi told me we broke up, that something happened around the time of my father's funeral, but I don't care. Whatever happened, I don't care anymore." Her breathing was heavy, and the corner of her mouth twitched upwards. "Max, just kiss me." She whispered.

Whatever shred of honor that had been holding him back, snapped.

Grabbing her hand, he yanked her away from the crowd and underneath the shadow of the nearest garage awning. Wrapping his arms around her too-thin waist, he pulled her to him and pressed his lips to hers once more.

God damn the consequences.

She was awake.

"Levi." Lando breathed his tone a mixture of emotions that was mirrored over his face and throughout his body language. "What the fuck is going on?" Levi stood in front of the garage that Max and Arabella had just disappeared into. It had been hard enough to stay on the podium and continue to celebrate his victory after what he had just witnessed. Still, he had made a quick exit barely remembering his trophy.

It was then that Levi stopped him, actually stopped him, from following her. He had respected every one of Levi's decisions regarding Arabella after the accident. May not have liked them, but he respected them. He was her only family, and he deserved that right.

However, this was hard to swallow.

"Lando, I'm sorry." Levi mustered, not looking the driver directly in the eye as he used both hands on his chest to hold him back. Lando had managed to hand off his trophy and champagne, making some empty excuse, and was now faced with the decision to physically remove Levi from his path or not.

"Sorry?" His tone had shifted towards anger with an underly of hurt. He shoved his hands away from him and took a step back. "Why is she with him." He spat the word with much more disdain than he intended. By the look on Levi's face, he had been dreading this conversation. "You know what he did."

"No, actually." Levi snapped. "All I got were snippets. I know that after we buried our father they broke up." Lando's face still showed a mixing bowl of emotions. "She's the only family I have left." He said, his tone becoming softer with desperation and sympathy. "I didn't know what else to do."

"So, you let her run to him?" Lando motioned past Levi. "He hurt her."

"Well, that's not how she remembers it." Lando's face twitched and slowly his entire demeanor changed.

"What do you mean?" Levi let out a long sigh, his eyes lowering to the ground as he rubbed a hand along her face.

"In her mind, our father's funeral was a few weeks ago, not a year ago." Lando's eyes closed as if it would make what Levi was saying false. "She doesn't remember breaking up with Max, or what he did to her. She doesn't remember whatever happened between you two after she broke up with Max." Lando's eyes opened, and he looked over Levi's shoulder toward the entrance to the garage. "In her mind, she's still in love with Max."

"She was never in love with Max." Lando said his tone somber. He stepped back from Levi, running a hand through his mess of sweaty curls.

"How do you know that?"

"She told me." He said turning back to her brother he shook his head, tears welling in his eyes as his hands found his hips. Levi just stared at him for a few moments.

"The doctor said they might come back with time, but they found no medical reason for the amnesia." Lando's eyes closed again, and Levi took a tentative step towards him but paused not knowing what he could do to comfort the man. "The worst thing we can do is overwhelm her with memories that she doesn't currently have. They said causing her any more mental distress could make it worse."

"Make it worse?" Lando's voice threatened to break. It took Levi off guard. "You mean she could lose more of her memory?"

"Apparently it's more complicated than that." Levi took a deep breath. "They explained it that her brain is a muscle and like her body, she needs to slowly work them back to the way they were. Honestly, they have no idea why she woke up when she did. It sort of just happened."

"Will she get her memories back?"

"They don't know." He said truthfully. "Some patients regain their memories in weeks or months, others never do. He did say that the longer she goes without them, the less likely she'll ever get them back."

"How long has it been since she woke up?" There was an underlying desperation in Lando's voice, something that made Levi blink and pause a moment.

"She woke up July 7th." Lando blinked, his lips parting slightly.

"July 7th?" Levi nodded. "You're sure?"

"Positive. It's not a day I plan on forgetting anytime soon." Lando nodded and Levi felt that he too would never forget that date.

For a moment neither of them said anything, then Lando opened his mouth, but closed it right away. The next time he opened his mouth, it looked as though he was ready to speak, but something over Levi's shoulder caught his eye and he paused. His lips switched from parted to speak to parted from shock. His face paled and his eyes widened as if he was seeing a ghost.

"Hey." Arabella said walking up beside her brother. She gave the British driver a feeble wave and a small smile. "It's been a while." Lando choked on a laugh.

"Yes, it has." He smiled, his eyes not shifting from her face.

"Congrats on the win." She said motioning towards the track behind him.

"Thanks." His eyes washed over her, taking in every molecule of her face. Her lips were swollen, her cheeks flushed, and he hadn't failed to notice her fixing her hair as she walked up. It took a lot, but he ignored the feeling in his gut, the feeling that told him whys she looked like that. She was still stunning, she would always be stunning.

"Where's Max?" Levi asked turning to his sister he wrapped an arm around her shoulders but kept a side-eye towards Lando.

"He had to go deal with something, he'd like to take us to dinner tonight though." Levi turned towards Lando.

"Would you like to join us?" The look Arabella gave her brother shot a dagger through Lando's heart. It was one of confusion and it only lasted for a second, but it was long enough. Lando looked away.

"I don't..." Arabella started but Levi cut in.

"I'm sure Max won't mind."

"I disagree." Lando side his tone cold. "Max and I had a falling out not too long ago, and I can't speak for him, but I don't think dinner is a good idea."

"Really?" Arabella frowned. "Is that why you're back with McLaren?" Lando shrugged.

"They made me an offer I couldn't refuse." The half-truth. "It's good to see you awake, it wasn't the same around here without you."

"Levi said you visited me a few times before I was moved back home."

"I did." He gave her a genuine smile, which she returned. "I brought flowers."

"Daisy's? They were beautiful, they're my..."

"Favorite." Lando finished for her. "No, I brought you lilacs."

"Lilacs?" Her tone was confused, but she tried to mask it. "That's also a very beautiful flower."

"You used to say that they smelt nice but looked more like weeds than flowers." Lando smiled, his eyes clouding with a memory. "They grow around the track in places here." He motioned towards the track.

"So, you brought me weeds?" She frowned, looking even more confused.

"I guess I wanted to be different." He shrugged. "Anyways, I should get going, I have a flight to catch back to Monaco." A lie. "It was nice seeing you again." Lando walked away, Levi was sure he heard a break in his tone, but he didn't say anything. Neither did Arabella if she caught it as well.

"Was he right?" She turned to her brother. "About the lilacs?"

"I don't hate lilacs." She said her tone confused; her face still twisted in a frown. "I don't know how to explain it, I know they look like weeds, but I don't hate them." Levi gave her shoulders a squeeze.

"Come on, let's get out of here and get ready for dinner." She nodded, letting him lead her toward the exit.

"I can't explain it." She repeated, this time her tone barely above a whisper.

Chapter Text

June/July 2023 - British Grand Prix

The British Grand Prix had always been a race close to Lando's heart. Not only were the fans absolutely electric because he drove under a British license, but it was the race he had grown up watching the most as a child. There was a certain level he, and his fans, expected of him, and that level got even higher when he came to race on home soil. Still, with the added pressure it had to be one of his favorite races on the calendar.

From the moment he landed the energy could be felt, and it only grew with every day he entered the paddock. First and second free practice went well, with some PR in between. Since it was his home race there was a little more than usual, however, he didn't mind. Not in the least. He loved his fans, and, more importantly, it kept him and his mind busy.

When he had more things to focus on as one of the hometown heroes, he had less time to think about Arabella and how she must be feeling and even less time to contemplate if he should call her or not. There was a small part of him that knew he shouldn't, despite them being friends after a few months of her dating Max and being on the circuit with him a lot. However, the other part of him, the bigger part of him, knew that the real reason he wanted to was the exact reason he shouldn't.

His plan worked for the first few days. Free practice one and two went well along with the events and press he had to be a part of since the moment he landed. His mind was entirely on the tasks placed in front of him, especially when it involved fans.

It wasn't until he walked into the Red Bull motorhome cafeteria and saw Max sitting alone at a table, his head down and his shoulders slumped, pushing his food around his place with his fork. It made him look defeated. Despite the voice telling him to leave his teammate alone, Lando walked up to the table.

"Hey." He said, keeping his tone light. He didn't sit down right away, instead, he rested his hands on the back of the chair that sat across from Max. Slowly, Max glanced up just long enough to see who it was, then he went back to his plate.

"Hey."

"How's it going?" Lando asked, but Max just shrugged. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever has you looking so depressed." Max looked up at that, his eyes matching the rest of his demeanor.

After a moment, Max looked back down and mumbled "we broke up" which made Lando's ears perk up.

"I don't understand." Lando said sliding into the seat, not waiting for an invitation. "What happened?" He tried his best not to sound too intrigued.

"We broke up." He repeated his shoulders shrugging again.

"I caught that." He tried to keep his tone sensitive.

"Sorry." The corner of his lips twitched, but he didn't look up. "I don't really know what else to say."

"You don't want to talk about what happened?" Max shrugged again, and Lando did his best not to look as defeated as he felt. He wanted to know. His hands rubbed along the thighs of his jeans. "I know she's been going through a lot with her dad..."

"She has been going through a lot." He agreed, running a hand over his face. Max looked exhausted; there were even dark circles under his eyes. There was obviously a lot on his mind, a lot more than the usual stresses that came with racing. For the first time since Lando had been his teammate, he genuinely thought that Max didn't look like a world champion. There was no arrogance, no ego in the man that sat across from him. "She just needed some space I guess."

Lando nodded and shifted in his seat. He wanted to ask more questions, wanted to figure it all out, but he didn't want to pry or sound to eager to do so. So, he waited. Someone brought him a coffee, just the way he liked it, and he sat there in silence trying his best to support his teammate.

"I don't know man." Max said finally sitting back in his seat he dropped his fork. The movement was so sudden and such a contrast to his demeanor that it made Lando almost spill the contents of his cup on the table. "Sometimes, it's just impossible."

"What's impossible?"

"Juggling a relationship and this job." He admitted and Lando nodded; he'd had his own relationship fail because of it. It was hard and took a certain kind of person and a lot of trust.

"Yeah, I hear you there." Lando agreed, taking another sip of his coffee.

"It's just..." He started but trailed off letting out a long sigh. "I don't know man."

"You miss her?" He nodded.

"So much." He leaned forward resting his head in his hands. "We just need some space." His words were distant as if he wasn't telling them to Lando instead he was talking to himself. "I'll get her back."

"Hey Lando." A woman wearing Red Bull clothes and holding a stack of papers in her hands walked up to the table then, interrupting Lando's attempts at figuring out what happened. Max didn't seem to notice, he just kept staring down at his plate. "You've got an interview."

"Right." Lando said standing. "Max, you going to be alright?" Finally, Max looked up, and between the two of them now standing by the table. He nodded.

"Yeah, yeah." He forced a smile. "I'll talk to you later." Lando nodded and followed the woman out of the motorhome.

Lando had never been so distracted behind the wheel, that much he knew as he pulled his formula one car around the final turn of free practice two. Ever since he had spoken to Max, he'd been distracted. His mind conjuring up so many different excuses to call her. The only reason he hadn't by now was because his phone was up in his driver's room, and he was down here on the track. Driving one of the most dangerous vehicles on the planet.

As he pulled his car back into the garage he could just tell by the movements of the mechanics and engineers, as well as Horner on the pit wall; no one was having a good day. Lando knew that his performance hadn't been his best and there would have been a lot more the team would have liked to work on, but he couldn't seem to find the mental ability to focus as well as he usually did.

He crawled out of the car and was met with one of his engineers who smiled, giving him the first smile, he had had since pulling into the pit lane. His engineer seemed to be the only one who actually looked pleased, even if it was forced.

"Alright, Lando." He said and Lando smiled from underneath his helmet.

"Sorry mate, I'm a little distracted today." The engineer nodded letting out a long sigh as he walked with Lando through the garage and towards the screens that lined the area between his and Max's car.

"It's alright, we got some good data, and we'll have some stuff to go over in the meeting. It just means we might have to change the plan for tomorrow's practice." Lando nodded taking his helmet off. There was someone there to take it from him along with the heat guard and earpieces.

"That's good." Lando turned towards the data on the screens. Between the screens, he could just make out Max's car being worked on. "How did Max do?" His engineer paused what he was doing, his own eyes trailing towards the Red Bull car in the joined garage space.

"You both seem to be having an off weekend." The engineer commented. "I wonder if it's in the water."

"Maybe." Lando let out a short laugh which the engineer reciprocated.

"Whatever it is," his voice grew quiet as he glanced around as if he was worried anyone would overhear. It made Lando raise his eyebrows, "you should deal with it, because if Max is this far off his game. You might have a real chance at a podium this weekend." Lando nodded. "Now this is the data." His voice went back to a normal volume. He continued talking about the data they had collected during the practice and how the car had reacted.

Honestly, he was hardly paying attention. He nodded, and took some minor mental notes, commenting on things with the vaguest questions he could, but he really didn't retain anything. By the time he left the garage and was making his way back to the motorhome, he only had one thing on his mind. The door hadn't even latched behind him before his phone was in his hand and he was already dialing.

Max had made it through the day without much trouble. He wasn't performing at his best, but those who knew the reason didn't blame him too hard for it. Max was clearly in the lead for the championship so he could take a race easy, despite it not being the plan or exactly his style. Still, he put as much focus as he could into free practice and engineering meetings.

He hadn't been alone for five minutes before Lando found him again. Not that he minded, he hated being alone. It gave him too much freedom to think, and when he was given the time to think all he did was think about Arabella. How much he missed her, how much he screwed up. Or just her. He had woken up that morning with his arms wrapped so tightly around one of the spare pillows that he had left an indent.

Lando had stepped up to the threshold of Max's driver's room, his arms crossed as he rested his shoulder against the frame. However, he didn't say anything, not until Max said something first.

"Hey." Max said not hiding the confusion in his voice or on his face. "What's up?"

"I was just speaking to Arabella." He said and Max's entire demeanor changed.

"How is she?" His tone was hopeful, and his eyes widened with a sense of pleading like he was desperate to know. Lando snorted.

"You have a lot of nerve asking me that." Max's brows furrowed.

"I don't understand."

"You neglected to mention that she broke up with you because you cheated." The room fell silent as the two drivers stared at each other. Max looked confused and surprised, almost like he had gotten caught in the act, and Lando looked disappointed with a wave of anger hovering underneath the surface.

"I told you, this job...." He trailed off swallowing. "It's hard to keep a relationship."

"You mean it's hard to be faithful."

"That's not fair, you have no idea what was going on." Lando snorted again. Shaking his head he stepped into the room, his arms uncrossing and falling to his sides.

"You're right."

"I don't know what happened, but suddenly she was never there. She didn't want to do anything, not talk, not text, nothing."

"Her father had just died."

"You don't think I know that?" Max snapped. "I didn't know what to do, she completely shut herself off from me."

"So, you fucked someone else?" Lando's voice was raised.

"That's not exactly how it happened."

"So, you didn't cheat?"

"No, I did..." Lando snorted, shaking his head.

"What because she wouldn't come cheer you on? She wouldn't follow you around and inflate your ego?"

"Come on man, you're making me out to be this massive asshole." Max said shaking his head, he even had the audacity to chuckle a little as if the whole thing was funny.

"Oh, I'm not doing anything, you are a massive asshole." Lando's tone was cold and direct; he knew what he was saying and a part of him wanted to hurt him.

"You better back off man." Lando responded by taking a challenging step forward.

"Or what?" Max shook his head. "Am I pissing you off? Pushing your buttons?" Max didn't respond, but he held his ground. "Good."

"You have no idea what you're talking about." He snapped, stepping back he threw his hands up in frustration. "She's not the same girl anymore, she's.."

"Of course, she's fucking not." Lando snapped, his hand shot out swiping out at a nearby table he cleared it of its contents, sending them flying over the room. Max didn't flinch that much, only raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Her father just died."

"Why do you care so much?" Max's eyes narrowed at him.

"Because she's my friend and a woman who doesn't deserve this."

"Mhmm." Max challenged. "Sure." He took a few steps forward.

"What are you insinuating?" Lando took a few steps forward in response.

The pair of them just stared at each other for a few long moments, in a silent challenge. They were close enough now that either one of them could have thrown the first punch if either of them decided it should come to that. Finally, it was Max who backed down first.

"I love her." Lando snorted. "I do."

"You don't hurt the people you love."

"Is everything okay in here?" A male in a Red Bull golf shirt poked his head into the driver's room, looking around at the mess before he looked between the pair of them.

"I was just leaving." Lando said turning he took a few steps towards the door and the Red Bull worker.

"You don't understand." Max said, he gave the Red Bull worker a small nod as if to tell him they were fine.

"Well, you're right about that. I fucking don't understand." Lando paused near the door, turning back towards Max, ignoring the Red Bull worker who remained close. "I don't understand how you can fuck someone else while your girlfriend is dealing with burying her father." His tone was cold, calculated, and even. "I may not know much, but I know that's not fucking love."

With that, he turned and left.

Lando hadn't realized how furious he was until he had made it out of the Red Bull motorhome and towards the parking lot. It wasn't until he replayed the conversation that he realized just how furious his teammate had made him. He knew it wasn't just the fact that Max had cheated. His anger was far more complex than to be directed toward just one thing.

He was also angry at himself, for letting himself get too angry. That and he was upset that a part of Max had seen through him. That might be why he was so upset; someone other than him had figured out his feelings.

That was what made him slam the palm of his hand against the steering wheel before he even left the parking lot.

He drove the short distance toward the hotel, still in a sour mood. Even as he pulled up to the gate with fans lining either side. He tried his best to paint a smile on his face and give out a few waves, but he didn't roll his window down. Not for any of the countless fans who were holding out hats or posters for him to sign. Usually, he would have stopped for at least a few, but today, he wasn't in the mood.

The valet took his car, and he made his way into the hotel and up toward his hotel room. There weren't as many fans inside the building since it was more controlled and access to the hotel was through a gate. However, there were still a few who pointed and stared at him as he walked across the foyer.

"Why?" He spoke to the reflection of himself in the elevator mirror. "Why do you gotta be so stupid?" Shaking his head he turned, resting his back against the wall and closing his eyes until he reached his floor.

When he stepped off the elevator and turned the corner, he saw something he would never have expected. At first, it alarmed him; the sight of someone sitting in the hallway outside of his hotel room. It wasn't until he got closer that he noticed the dirty blond hair in a braid poking out from underneath her knit hat. She didn't look up, not till he was closer, it was then that he realized she wasn't sitting in front of his room.

"Hey." He said keeping his tone soft, it surprised him how easy it was since the last time he had spoken to someone he had been so angry.

"Hey." Finally, Arabella looked up at him and smiled. Her face was pale, her eyes bloodshot and dark circles had started to form. She looked exhausted, broken, and exhausted.

"If you're waiting for Max, he's still at the track." It wasn't exactly the truth, but it was something to say, and a way to figure out what she was doing there.

"Good." She breathed looking back down at her hands tucked between her bent knees. "I was hoping you'd beat him here."

"What do you mean?" She didn't look up at him as she shrugged.

"I didn't know where else to go." Her tone was wavering, shaking as she spoke. "I just needed a friend, and I found myself here." When she looked up at him with those light blue eyes, that uncontrollable smile came back.

Chapter Text

July 2024 - Hungarian Grand Prix

God, it felt so good to be inside her again.

With every movement of their sweaty bodies, Max felt like he had buried himself alive and was completely content to choke on her for the rest of his life. No matter how long or short it would be. There was a part of him that knew he was going to hell, but the bigger part of him just wanted to enjoy the ride.

And what a ride it was.

From the moment their lips met, he knew it was all he wanted to do to her. Max wanted to take her, hide her and never let her leave his bed ever again. As he pulled her away from prying eyes at the Austrian Grand Prix, hiding her in the first closet he could find in a random garage. He hadn't even bothered to look at whose it was. All he knew is he wanted to hide her, hide her from whoever was going to take her from him again.

The moment the door closed behind them she was on him. Her arms were around his neck, then she was sliding them down his chest, up his chest, it was like she just wanted to feel him. It started off innocent enough, their lips toying along the fine line of a simple kiss to pure passion. The way her fingertips moved across his shirt barely gave enough pressure to touch the skin underneath.

Then suddenly, her fingertips dug in. Poking through his shirt and digging into the flesh of his chest. It was enough to snap him free of any restraints that might have been holding him. His hands slid down her frail body and grabbed her underneath her thighs lifting her onto him. She gasped, a sweet sound leaving her lips that made him moan slightly in response. He pushed her back until her back hit something hard, hard enough that he could lean back at look at her. Look at her stunning face, the one he had dreamed about over the months.

"Bella..." He started but she shook her head, grabbing a fistful of his shirt.

"No talking." Her breath was heavy as she yanked him closer to her. He smiled, his lips finding hers only to slip from her lips and trail down her chin, down her neck, and towards the collar of her shirt. He was on the hunt for more of those little sounds that he loved so much.

It wasn't long before she gasped so loud that he had to slide a hand over her mouth so no one would hear them. He groaned, his entire body melting into her. His head rested on her shoulder as she moaned, her hips moving against his own.

"God, I missed you." He breathed into her once he was finished.

"I missed you too." She smiled, placing a light kiss on his lips.

He was definitely going to hell.

Since Arabella's job wasn't exactly something she could go back to, all she wanted was to spend as much time with Max and her brother as possible. More so the former. After Austria, her brother and her traveled to France. She spent most of her time with her brother hoping not to disturb Max, although it became obvious quickly that he didn't mind the distraction one bit.

It was a new feeling, not feeling like she was in the way while Max raced. Before she always had this nagging feeling that she was being annoying or in the way. Now it was different, he wanted her by his side every moment that he could. Everything that she was allowed to be a part of, he made sure she was.

When she couldn't be there, she tried to focus all her attention on her brother. For her, it felt like no time had passed since the last time she had seen him, but for him; it had been a year. She wanted to know everything. Despite it feeling like no time had passed, it was evident to her that she didn't know anything about her brother, not the one who was sitting beside her as they watched the race or across from her at dinner. He was a completely different person than the brother she had last seen.

After their time in France, Arabella accompanied her brother back to Hoorn for another doctor's appointment before she met up with Max in Hungary. He was waiting for her in the airport when she landed which hadn't been the plan. When she walked out of the arrivals terminal he was standing there holding a sign with her name on it.

"Oh my god." She smiled, covering her mouth with her hand before she bolted across the space between them and threw herself at him. He caught her easily, wrapping his arms around her. People's attention was drawn to the public display as he pushed her dirty blond hair away from her face with one hand and held her up with the other. Arabella's legs wrapped tightly around his waist. "You're here."

"Of course." Max said his eyes tracing her face. "Come on, we have a reservation." He slowly let her down and settled for grabbing her hand, intertwining her fingers in his.

"But I'm not hungry." She pouted, keeping her body close to him. He turned towards her as they walked towards the exit.

"I am." Arabella's lips twisted in a mischievous smile that Max knew all too well. The type of smile that made his stomach do a back flip at the same time that his pants got a little tighter.

"How about dinner in bed?" She purred, the sound making him hate the idea that they were in public. His breath was heavy which only made her smile grow. They walked out of the doors and across towards the stunning sports car that sat in the temporary parking. "Or maybe in the car?" His hand tightened around hers as he pulled her to him, making her brace herself with a hand on his chest.

"For you baby, anything." She smiled sliding a finger across his chest before she started off towards the car, swinging her hips in a way he recognized all too well. Grabbing her bag, he followed her.

They had hardly pulled out of the airport before Max had to pull over. Before his passenger had slid a hand across his thigh and found out just how badly he had missed her. It wasn't that that made him need to pull over, it was how she undid her seat belt, leaned over the center console, and took him in her mouth.

Max was an excellent driver, he knew how to drive under all conditions, but driving with her lips around him, that he struggled with. His hand slid into her hair, pulling it back from her face for her, his other hand was firmly on the steering wheel.

He made a mental note to thank whoever had decided to make his rental car an automatic for the weekend.

"Fuck." He breathed, his head leaning back onto the headrest. They pulled up to a light, and he was thankful for the pause, but the movement of shifting his weight from the gas to the break was enough to almost send him over the edge.

He pulled into a random parking lot, pulling into the first stall he could find and putting the car in park before he felt himself losing control. God, she was good. He leaned back, closing his eyes and letting out a moan that made her lips twist upwards around him. Which only made him moan again.

"Fuck Bella." He gasped as he erupted. She took him all in her mouth, sitting up when it was done and smiling. Max watched her sit back in her seat, a triumphant look on her face as he fixed his pants.

"Told you I wasn't hungry." Max let out a heavy breathed laugh as he shifted the car back into drive, moving the car out of the parking lot.

"And I told you I was." The engine roared as his foot pressed the accelerator and he slipped back into traffic.

They had just made it into the elevator before Max was on his knees before her and her skirt was pushed up to her waist. She stifled her own moans with her hand, which he groaned in disagreement, but they were in a public elevator after all. It didn't take him long to finish her off, he knew remembered exactly how to do it. He had moved her leg over his shoulder for better access and had made sure to grip her hips to stop her from moving too much against him. He wanted her completely as his mercy.

God, she tasted amazing as she erupted around him.

He was thankful for the private elevator the hotel had offered to all the racers as they checked in, and he was even more thankful that none of the other drivers had needed it. They had just enough time to get their feet back on the ground and for Arabella to pull her skirt down when the elevator doors opened.

"Oh hey." Max said to his ex-teammate who was standing on the other side. He looked at Max, then Arabella taking in their appearance. The flushed cheeks, Arabella's breathing, and the wrinkles in her skirt. His jaw clenched and he looked away, his hands balling into fists to match the rest of his demeanor.

"Hey." He set through clenched teeth. "Just the man I was looking for." Finally, Lando dragged his eyes back to Max.

"You were looking for me?" Max said stepping off the elevator. Arabella followed a little unsteady on her feet.

"I wanted to speak with you."

"Can it wait?" Max asked his eyes on Arabella a hunger in them. Lando clenched his jaw again.

"No, it can't."

"It's fine." Arabella said finding her voice. "I need to shower anyways." Max made a small noise. "I'll see you later." She placed a hand on his chest and smiled up at him.

"Okay." He smiled handing her the room key. Giving Lando a small nod as a hello, she walked down the hallway towards the room.

Lando stepped onto the elevator and Max followed him his eyes still on Arabella who had just reached the room and was swiping the key against the door. The corner of Max's lips twitched upwards, as he watched her, but as soon as the door closed in front of him it disappeared.

"Alright, what's up?" He turned towards Lando, eager to get whatever he wanted out of the way.

"I just want to know what the fuck you're doing." He said shrugging. Lando didn't turn to face him, just waited patiently for Max's reply.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." He finally turned to face him. Max didn't say anything, only stared at the McLaren driver in a silent challenge. "I know her mind is fragile, but this."

"Of course, this is about her." Max laughed and shook his head as he turned away from him. "You've got to learn your place man."

"My place?" Lando's tone reflected his shock at Max's words. "You're kidding right?" Max remained silent. "Does she know why you broke up? Did you tell her?" Silence. "You haven't have you? This little game you're playing with her, it's sick."

"Game?!" Max snapped turning back towards him. "This isn't a game, this is my life, it's her life."

"Exactly." Lando cut him off. "She doesn't know what happened, she doesn't remember the hell you put her through."

"What and you do?" He snapped back. "You don't know you weren't there, I fucked up, I know that, and this is my second chance."

"But she doesn't know that." Max turned away again shaking his head. "She doesn't know it's your second chance."

"I'm done listening to you, you have no idea what you're talking about."

"She's going to find out, one way or another." Max spun around, slamming Lando against the side of the elevator.

"You're not going to tell her." His tone was lethally calm and threatening. "Her mind, it's too fragile."

"You really think her mind's going to be able to handle the realization when this little charade is up?"

"It's not a charade." Max let go of his shirt, taking a step back. "I love her." Lando snorted.

"I think we've established that you don't." Lando shook his head throwing his hands up in defeat. "You cheated on her and now you're using her accident as a way to get a second chance."

"That's not..."

"She doesn't deserve this." Lando's tone was borderline breaking as he motioned towards the elevator doors. They hadn't moved since getting in, thankfully no one else had called on the elevator. "Someone has to tell her, if you won't, I..."

"No." Max cut him off. "No, you won't." Lando shut his mouth and raised his eyebrows.

"You seriously think you can stop me?"

"Maybe not, but I have everyone's ear. I am the reigning world champion; people tend to listen when I speak." Lando's lips parted as he realized what Max was doing. Even Max looked pained by his own words.

"You don't have Zach Brown's ear." Lando snorted.

"Maybe not, but there are a lot more people who have a say in which drivers stay and which go on a team." Max took a shaking breath. "I can end your career."

"Let me make sure I understand." Lando narrowed his eyes at him. "You're threatening my career if I tell Arabella that you cheated on her and that's why you broke up." Max swallowed.

"Yes." Lando turned, smacking the button on the wall of the elevator and the doors opened onto their floor. Max got out, turning towards Lando as he pressed the button for the lobby.

"Told you." Lando said and Max raised a curious brow. "You don't need me to make you look like an asshole."

As the doors closed and Lando disappeared, Max realized that no matter how much his time with Arabella felt like heaven, he was undoubtedly going to hell.

Chapter Text

July 2023 - Austrian Grand Prix

There was tension between the two Red Bull drivers, and everyone could tell. Fans, reporters, mechanics, engineers, and especially Christian Horner. Red Bull's team principal. Since their fight wasn't exactly quiet, so it had traveled through the team like wildfire. Everyone knew they had fought, but the reason, thankfully, no one knew for sure. There were rumors, but no one confirmed them, which had been Christian Horner's idea. After he had called the two drivers into his office demanding to know the reason, it was his idea to keep it quiet. Not that either of the drivers wanted it broadcasted.

If it hadn't been for the style team, Max wasn't sure if he would have been able to put a decent suit together on his own. He probably wouldn't have gone and made some excuse, which everyone would have seen through, and Horner would have been upset. Which is probably the biggest reason for the style team. Usually, he could dress himself. Usually.

By the team he headed down to the cocktail party he was fashionably late, to say the least. He had made it mere minutes before he was needed on stage to welcome everyone. He was cornered almost immediately by a Red Bull rep who escorted him to the backstage area where Lando, Christian, and Helmut, Red Bull's team advisor and head of the driver development program. Both he and Christian did not look impressed, Lando hardly looked at his teammate.

"You're late." Christian commented and Max just shrugged.

"Sorry." He didn't have time to think up an excuse, nor did he even try to.

"It's fine, just act like you don't hate each other for the next few hours, can you manage that?" He looked at both drivers.

"Of course." Lando responded first, giving Christian a reassuring smile. Max gave a nod, which wasn't convincing, but Christian took it.

Before stepping on stage Max shook out his arms and tried to get rid of the chip he had on his shoulder about the whole thing. Lando gave him a small nod as if to say that he would do his best and Max returned it.

When he stepped out onto the stage he smiled focusing on the fans and trying his best to keep his mind free of any of the emotions that had caused him to be late. It was easy when people were cheering and clapping for him. Christian did most of the talking, then passed the microphone onto Helmut. The entire time Max scanned the crowd.

His eyes found her as she walked in through the doors at the far back of the room. Her dirty blond hair fell around her face and shoulders in a mess of curls and the dress she wore left nothing to the imagination. It cut across her shoulders and wrapped her body in a red wine-colored long-sleeved dress. The skirt was short and tight, but not short enough to be slutty, just short enough to make it impossible not to notice her. Arabella looked absolutely stunning. In every possible way.

She wasn't looking at him, instead, she was scanning the crowd for someone else, whomever she came with. Her earrings swung as she turned looking from side to side. In fact, she didn't pay any attention to the stage, didn't even give it a glance. As if she didn't care.

He watched as she smiled, finding whomever she was looking for then crossing the room towards where Katie, a snowboarder who competed with her, and a man were standing. The man was tall, broad-shouldered, and looked decent in a suit. Max could tell he wasn't as comfortable in his suit by the way he kept fiddling with the buttons and the hems of the sleeves. That or he was nervous.

Nervously talking to Arabella.

His hands balled into fists so tight that his nails started to dig into his palms. He lowered his eyes to the stage, trying his best to focus his breathing, trying to regain his composure. Max's attention shifted from the floor to Christian Horner who was talking about the Red Bull legacy and how proud he was to be a part of it. He didn't dare look at Lando, refused to even follow Horner as he stepped towards the young driver and put his hand on his shoulder.

Instead, he forced a smile, turning back to the crowd he found the first pretty girl he found and winked.

Two could play this game.

The following morning Max was paying for his evening's endeavors in every possible way. First, it was the long-legged woman who was still wrapped around him when his alarm went off too early in the morning. It had left a decent headache, not just from the hangover, but also getting her to leave before him and convince her to go down the employees' entrance so she wasn't seen. From then on, it was mostly just his headache, which he decided to chalk up to not sleeping that much, ignoring the more than a few drinks he had snuck at the party last night. It had made him feel like a sixteen-year-old child, but it wouldn't look very good if the reigning world champion was hungover for free practice.

Thankfully, nobody seemed to notice. Or at least if they did, they thought he was just in a mood. It was a good enough sell since there had been obvious tension with his teammate. Easier still to sell when Arabella finally made her appearance on the track, with the same tall handsome man she had been with the night before.

Maybe it was the hangover that made his feet start carrying him towards her, or maybe it was the mixture of hurt and anger that had started to boil over inside him. Either way, in between free practice one and two he found himself walking up to her in the paddock.

"Can we talk?" He asked stepping up to her small group of three that were strolling aimlessly down the paddock between the motorhomes and garages.

"Sure." Arabella spoke after a few moments and glanced toward her friend before she followed Max into the Red Bull motorhome. Neither of them spoke, not until they were in Max's driver's room and the door had latched behind them.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Arabella just stared at him, blinking, while Max stood waiting for an answer.

"What are you talking about?" She laughed nervously, confused at his tone.

"Why are you parading around my home race with some guy? Are you trying to screw with my head, make me jealous?" Of all the things that Arabella had thought would come from him that was not what she expected. "You of all people know how important the championship title is to me. I can't believe you would do this to me?"

"Oh, I'm doing this to you?" Her disbelief snapped and anger flooded her features. She crossed her arms over her chest, and Max did his best not to focus on the pressure it created on her breasts or the fact that her mid-drift could now be seen above her light-colored ripped jeans and the black crop top she wore. "We broke up, which means that you don't have any effect on my actions."

"It's my home race." He repeated himself as if she hadn't heard or understood the first time. It made Arabella roll her eyes. "Why did you have to come."

"It's Red Bull's home race, I was invited seeing as I'm a Red Bull athlete." She spoke slowly, as if it was some wild concept that Max would have some trouble understanding.

"You could have at least respected me enough to come alone." Arabella snorted.

"Like you respected me enough to fuck someone else while we were still together." Max clamped his lips shut. "This is ridiculous, I don't have to sit here and listen to this. I'm not doing anything to you."

"I'm not the only one who cheated." Her body was half turned towards the door when she turned back towards him. "You've been checked out of this relationship long before Kelly." Her name stung; he could tell as a shadow of a flinch slid across her features.

"What are you talking about, I never cheated on you." She shook her head, dumbfounded by the accusation.

"Lando." The name hung in the air surrounded by a silent accusation. For a few long moments, no one spoke. Arabella's lips parted slightly, and she took a slight step backward towards the door as if to get away from the accusation or the reality of it. Either way, her reaction solidified something in Max's mind. "I knew it."

"I was faithful our entire relationship." Her tone was stern and serious. Cheating was not something she was going to be accused of. "Unlike someone." Her words slid like ice over him, down his spine.

"You know I feel horrible about that." He snapped. "You don't have to keep bringing it up."

"You feel horrible." Arabella's entire demeanor changed. "You know, I genuinely don't give a fuck how you feel about it. I also don't give a fuck that my presence here is screwing with your head." She turned towards the door but turned back. "Not that it's any of your business," she emphasized with her arms, "but I came because I was invited, and I actually like this sport. It meant a lot to me and my father." Max's eyes dropped to the floor. "And as for the guy I'm with," she continued, her tone practically a hiss, "that's Morgan. Another Red Bull sponsored athlete who competes in my sport. We train together."

"I don't..."

"Don't fucking bother." She snapped, cutting him off. Max had gone from pissed, to boiling over with anger, and now Arabella could figure out if he was ashamed or embarrassed. "The only reason you suspect something going on between Lando and I, is because while my life was completely falling apart, you were too focused on racing to even notice, but Lando did. We talked, and hung out, but I was always faithful to you." Tears had started to form in her eyes, but she refused to let Max see her upset, see her cry. "How do you think our friendship started? He's your teammate for fuck's sake."

"So, it's my fault." He crossed his arms over his chest. "We both know the relationship wasn't working and hasn't been for a while."

"You're right. Our relationship wasn't working, we're both to blame for that." His face set in an emotion Arabella could only describe as a triumph. She lowered her gaze and crossed her arms over her chest. With a deep breath, she allowed the other emotions to flood forward, replacing the anger with hurt. "But I thought you loved me," her voice cracked, "I thought that maybe once I'd healed from the pain of losing my father, we could work at it." Her one shoulder shrugged. "I guess I was wrong."

"Bella..."

"You know I wasn't even all that surprised when I caught you." Shaking her head, she turned towards the door. "What the fuck does that say about you."

The rest of the weekend Arabella spent in a funk, but she stayed in Austria until the end of the race. As soon as she had left the driver's room after her argument with Max, she went straight for the end of the paddock and the parking lot beyond. It hadn't taken Katie long to figure out what had happened, and where she had gone. By the time Katie had arrived at Arabella's door, she had an extra-large pizza and a bottle of tequila.

Arabella almost cried.

Despite being incredibly hungover the following morning she allowed Katie to drag her out of bed and to the track. Qualifying didn't go as everything thought it would with Red Bull landing in fourth and second. It went even worse for Max who, for the first time this season, was out-qualified by his teammate. Arabella could tell if she felt guilty or happy about it.

Katie decided the best thing to do was get her drunk again.

Arabella was less hungover the following morning when it came time for the race, but the race was quite a bit louder than qualifying which didn't help. They watched from Red Bull paddock club seating with television screens on every wall and a large window that overlooked the pitlane and then the start-finish straight on the other side.

"Dimitri is definitely not going to be pleased with you." Arabella commented when Katie returned from the bar carrying three drinks. Morgan, who looked the worst between the three, looked like he was about to gag at the sight of them.

"Oh, shut up, we're on summer break."

"You sound like a uni student." Morgan mumbled, and Katie just smiled, sliding the drinks to their intended recipients.

"You need to get your shit together before the after-party tonight." Morgan turned towards her, dropping his glasses to the end of his nose.

"What after party?" Katie looked sideways at Arabella as if trying to determine her mood.

"I'm assuming you mean the after-race party." She commented, not looking at either of them. Arabella kept her gaze focused on the starting grid where the cars were getting ready for the formation lap.

"We're going?" Katie smacked Morgan making him shoot her a look. "What?"

"She's waiting for me to decide if we're going." Arabella said finally turning back towards the pair of them. "I don't care, I'm good either way."

"I don't think I'll survive another night out."

"Oh, you'll be fine." Katie assured him, but he didn't look convinced. Katie on the other hand looked thrilled.

Max wasn't having the best race, but even on his worst day, he was still one of the best drivers out there. He put up a fight and climbed his way up to third. As his car came close to the backend of Lando's who had stayed in second, the entire room seemed to take a collective deep breath. Max was ruthless on track; it was something he was known for. Lando wasn't as cut-throat, but he was talented. He could hold his own against the best of them, but Max?

As the laps ticked away Max and Lando remained in their positions. Lando in second and Max in third. If the radio messages were giving anything away it was that Red Bull didn't want to risk an accident and had given both drivers the order to stay in their current position.

Max always sucked at following orders.

After an incredibly bold move, cutting tight into the corner and banking on Lando backing off before the next one Max gained a position on his teammate. A few angry radio messages flooded the screen and the speakers. People around them started to talk about it, some were angry that Max would do it, and some were angry at the team for not letting him do it in the first place. Either way, Max was now in second, and Lando was trying his best to keep up.

She wasn't sure what made her think it, or why she knew she was right, but she could tell Lando wasn't giving up. The way he was driving, it was aggressive. He was waiting for his opportunity and was going to jump on it when it appeared.

On any other day, Max probably wouldn't have made such a mistake, and Lando wouldn't have been the car behind him, nor would he have been so aggressive. Any other day that wouldn't have cost Max the win, but in Austria, on July 7th, that mistake had cost him a lot more than the win.

Lando won the Austrian Grand Prix. Not only was he praised for his move on teammate Max Verstappen, but more so for his move on Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc. Taking the lead with only two laps left in the race.

It also meant that the after-party could either be the best or worst time. However, before she could decide if she really wanted to attend, the time for talking her friend out of it was long gone. It wasn't until she was sitting in the back of the car on the way to the party that she realized she wasn't sure if her attendance was such a good idea.

Red Bull spared no expense on the party, especially after a first-place finish and two podiums on their home race. All of the Red Bull team was invited, even those who didn't exactly follow the team around were there. It made for a massive party. Red carpets, acrobatic performers, cars, trays of expensive champagne, and caviar. It was ten times bigger than the cocktail party and twice as fancy. People were in ball gowns to cocktail dresses, black tie to business casual. And no one seemed to mind either way.

Arabella walked down the carpet leading into the venue in an A-line scoop floor-length emerald-colored dress with an open back. Her hair was pinned up with two picks that gave it a messy, wavy, and messy look. Strands of waves fell around her face and neck. Katie walked with her, wearing a floor-length light blue strapless dress with her hair unbound and hanging around her shoulders. She was incredibly thankful to her friend, perhaps not completely for making her go to the event or buy the dress, but for sticking with her through all of it. No matter what they were doing; walking the carpet, talking to men whose gazes hardly met their eyes, or just braving the masses, she always made it at the very least never a dull moment.

It wasn't long before she saw Max, who seemed to be staying close to the main bar. Without a single word to her friend, Katie declared that she didn't want whatever that bar was serving and dragged her friend across the room toward one of the smaller bars near the back. It didn't have as big of a selection as the main one, but it didn't stop her from continuing to go back there for the rest of the evening.

"You look like you're enjoying yourself." The voice sent a wave down her spine, and she couldn't decide if it was comfortable or not as she turned to face Lando Norris.

"As do you." She smiled, thankful for the small tall table in front of her to hold her up. In front of her was an empty champagne flute which explained the absence of her friend.

"Well." Lando smiled setting a rocks glass down on the table as he stepped closer.

"Is Lando Norris actually drinking?" She spoke in a mocking tone and he smiled, glancing off to the side. The light caught the edge of his jaw between shadows making it impossible to notice.

"I may have had one or two." Smiling, Arabella reached over and sniffed the glass before taking a sip. His eyes watched her, she could feel it, the entire time. If she knew anything about Lando it could be water or some sort of alcohol and soda. He wasn't a fan of drinking, but today she could see him making an exception.

"Gin and tonic." She commented. "Classic." She slid the glass back towards him. "Katie is getting me another." She lifted her empty glass, feeling obligated to explain it.

"Champagne." Arabella nodded. "Are you celebrating something?" She held his gaze for a moment, thinking about the words she wanted to say and the words she should. There were a lot of people around, and she couldn't help but play over what Max had said in the driver's room.

"My friend, he just won a big race."

"A big race?" She nodded, leaning forward across the table.

"His team's home race." Lando nodded, once again looking off to the side. Her gaze shifted across him, taking in the dark pants, the white button-up shirt, and a blazer. The top few buttons of his shirt were undone revealing the muscles in his neck more clearly and a little bit of the top of his sternum.

"And he won?" Arabella bit her lip dropping her head as he turned back to her, the smile that slid across his face was mischievous. "He must be really good, maybe even the best." She shook her head.

"I don't know, I guess we'll see if he can win more than one." He placed a hand over his heart, pretending to be wounded. She giggled. "If you wanted your ego boosted you should have walked up to a different table."

"Ahh, but where's the fun in that." She smiled.

"But seriously, congrats, that was one hell of a race."

"I thought you said no more ego boosting." She gave him a playful shove which made him chuckle. "Thank you." His tone was serious, and she nodded. "I..."

"Sorry about the delay." Katie said walking up to the table with two champagne flutes in her hands. "There was this guy, who thought I was someone's daughter which was weird, but then when he found out who I was he pretended like he actually knew, but it was okay because he was cute..." She trailed off noticing the stare-down that was happening across the little table. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?" Arabella shook her head, her friend's words cutting through her gaze like a knife. She turned towards her.

"I was just congratulating Lando on his win." Katie nodded, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

"Right." She glanced towards Lando who smiled but didn't take his eyes off Arabella. "Well, I think I'm going to go back and talk to the cute ignorant guy."

"The who?" Katie snorted and shook her head.

"Are you going to be okay?" Arabella glanced from her friend to Lando then back to her friend.

"Sure, go ahead." Katie nodded, leaning in she brushed a kiss against her friends' cheek. She whispered something in her ear before she gave her a squeeze on the arm and disappeared.

"Do I want to know what she said to you?" Lando asked his eyebrow raised. Arabella smiled looking down at her hands. After a few moments of thinking, she smiled, looking back up at him.

"Probably." Her smile had turned mischievous which made his own broaden.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Maybe one day." He nodded. "Tonight, however, we're celebrating you."

"We are, are we?" She nodded. "What did you have in mind?"

"Depends. How badly do you want to stay at this party?"

As the taxicab pulled over to the side of the street he gave Lando and Arabella the oddest of looks at their choice of destination. Lando offered no reassurance, just some cash as payment, and then got out. Arabella right behind him.

The Red Bull ring was dead silent. Everyone had gone home for the day, the garages along the pit lane had been stripped clean and the motorhomes packed up. Everything that was needed for the next race was already packed up and on its way to the next destination. There was nothing and no one there.

Except for Arabella and Lando.

Arabella's long emerald gown and Lando's suit were a contrast to the silent racetrack. The moonlight was the only light sliding across the asphalt track that was still stained with tire marks from the weekend's festivities. Different buildings and structures cast shadows across their path, creating shapes and designs across the ground.

"This was your idea?" She nodded, her breath catching in her throat as she turned her head to meet his gaze. The moonlight hitting the side of his face, making the blue of his eyes sparkle. She nodded.

"After I win, I used to sneak onto the jump afterward. Celebrate with just me and the run." She furrowed her brows at her own words. "It sounds a lot cooler in my head." Lando smiled. Lifting up the bottle of champagne that they had swiped from the party.

"That sounds like a wonderful plan to me." Taking a breath, she took his hand as they started towards the track.

Since the track wasn't finished being cleaned and prepared to get closed up until the next race, sneaking onto the track wasn't as impossible as it could have been. It wasn't long before Lando and Arabella were walking along the track, hand in hand, drinking from a bottle of champagne.

"How does it feel?" She asked after a few moments of walking in silence, each of them stealing glances at the other. "To win."

"Amazing." He said, not looking at her.

"But?" He smiled, shaking his head.

"I got lucky."

"Why do you say that?" They didn't stop walking, but she gave his hand a squeeze, keeping her gaze on the side of his face as he kept looking forward. "You're an excellent driver, you earned that win."

"More ego-boosting?" She gave him a playful shove.

"I'm serious." He chuckled, she had dropped his hand to shove him and he didn't make a move to take it back. Neither did she.

"There's a lot that goes into winning. I think it would have worked out differently if Max had been on his A-game. The team wouldn't have been so accepting of my move if he hadn't been so distracted." He glanced sideways at her.

"I guess I'm to blame for that." She mumbled, taking a long swig from the champagne bottle.

"Are you okay?" She shrugged. "Truthfully, I came over at the party to make sure that you were alright."

"How chivalrous of you." Her tone wasn't overly harsh, but it was mocking. "Wait, how did you..." She stopped, trailing off she turned to him. "Oh my god, you heard."

"I was in my own drivers' room." He admitted scrunching his nose. "I'm sorry." She looked away, shaking her head and bringing her hand up to cover her eyes.

"It's fine." She said after letting out a groan. "It's totally fine."

"He's an asshole." Arabella remained silent but kept walking. Lando falling into step with her. "You didn't deserve to be treated like that."

"He's right thought." She said after a few moments of walking in silence, the pressure of Lando's gaze pushing into the side of her face.

"Right about what?"

"Being checked out." She didn't look at him, but Lando's eyebrows raised. "I honestly wasn't even that surprised that he cheated."

"Why?" His tone was shocked.

"Because it wasn't working." She glanced down taking a deep breath. "Somewhere along the way he went from the person I wanted to spend every waking moment with to someone that I..." she trailed off playing with the label on the champagne bottle thinking about her words, "that I just put up with." He didn't say anything, as if he was waiting for her, expecting her to either want to say more or need to say more. Arabella took a deep breath. "I haven't loved him like I should for a long time." Her next words came out barely above a whisper. "Too long"

"That still doesn't give him the right." Arabella finally looked up at him. "He made a commitment to you, to be with you and only you. You had just lost your father, for fuck sake."

"There's a part of me that knows that." She admitted.

"But?" She smiled since she had just done the same to him. Taking a deep breath, she took another long swig of champagne.

"As much as what he did hurt, a lot, I can't help but feel like I hurt him too." She stopped walking and remained standing in the center of the track along a random corner.

"How could you have possibly hurt him in all this?" He said turning to face her. At first, she didn't look at him, her gaze went to the champagne bottle, but then he slowly took it from her. Bringing it to his own lips, her gaze shifted up to him for just a moment before she looked down at the asphalt underneath their feet.

"He may have cheated physically, but I cheated psychologically." She could feel his gaze on her face turn confused, practically hear his eyebrows rising to his hairline. "I know I hurt hum." She shook her head. "I'm sorry." She turned walking towards the edge of the track. There was a small break in the fence, a hole that didn't look as though it had been made by man, it was too harsh. It looked torn and ripped rather than cut.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I shouldn't be admitting this to you." She shook her head, feeling his presence as he crossed the distance she had made between them. "I don't even know what it means, I need more time..."

"More time?" He said as he stepped past her and leaned through the broken fence, picking a flower from a bush beyond. "More time for what?" She turned, finally looking at him. As he stepped back through the fence and turned to face her. When his gaze met hers, he seemed to be looking past just her eyes, down into her soul. Like he could see the answer, or perhaps he already knew it.

"I..." She trailed off, her breath catching.

"I've known since Miami, when you snuck out onto the patio beside mine, that you were like no one I'd ever met before. How on earth you ended up on the arm of my teammate, I'll never know." The corner of his mouth twitched. "I'm thankful to him, for bringing you into my life, but when I found out what he did," the muscles in his jaw flexed, "I haven't been that angry in a very long time, if ever."

"Why?" She gave him a confused look, which didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Why?" He let out a short breath, his lips twisting upwards. "Because he had someone special, someone amazing, someone that," his breath caught, "someone that many people would be honored to be with, and he threw them aside as if they were nothing." She looked down, pain seeping into her face. "Someone that I would be honored to be with." He whispered.

"Lando..." She started shaking her head.

"I know how I feel, Arabella." He breathed, taking the smallest step toward her. Reaching up with one hand he brushed his fingers underneath her chin pulling her gaze back to his. "I've known for a long time."

"Why didn't you say anything?" She took a deep breath her voice shaking. "Is it because my father died, because when you showed up to his funeral..." he shook his head as her voice broke and her eyes started to shimmer with the threat of tears.

"I didn't say anything, because I knew that when I finally admitted it when I finally said it out loud instead of letting it hide in my head. There would be no turning back for me. No rewind, no pause, that would be it. I don't want to go back, Arabella, I never want to take another step backward in regard to you for the rest of my life." A smile had spread across his face, as a tear slipped free of her eye. Brushing it away, he took in her entire face. Her parted lips, her flushed cheeks, that look in her eye that was begging for something but was also scared. "So, when I finally admit it to you, I need you to be ready to hear it. To accept it. To accept me."

Slowly he lifted the flower he had plucked from the bush outside the fence and slid it between their faces. Brushing it against his face, as if to hide behind it. Arabella let out a short laugh, closing her eyes and taking in the scent of it. The feel of its petals against her cheek, her lips.

"I don't like lilacs." She said when she opened her eyes, looking at the purple flower that was between them.

"I know." He cocked his head to the side. "You prefer daisies."

"How do you know my favorite flower?" She asked, and it was the look of surprise across her face that made Lando shake his head.

"Because I pay attention." The corner of her lips twitched. "You deserve so much more than the way he treated you."

"I want to be ready." She said, breaking their joined gaze. Arabella placed both of her hands on Lando's chest feeling the smoothness of the fabric of his shirt and the ripple of muscles underneath. She could feel his heart beating through her fingers, and she smiled.

"I know." He said sliding a strand of her hair behind her ear. The lilac still in his hand brushed against her cheek. "What did Katie say to you?" The question caught her off guard, and her gaze slid back up to his eyes. Her bottom lip slid underneath her teeth.

"She told me not to think about anyone but myself tonight. That I'm allowed to do things that make me happy, no matter their effect on others."

"That's some good advice." Arabella nodded. "Have you been thinking about anyone other than yourself?"

"Just one." One of Lando's eyebrows raised.

"Oh really?" She nodded. Reaching up, Arabella brushed her fingers across his cheekbone. The entire time Lando didn't take his eyes from hers, even as her own gaze wandered down to the skin her fingers were brushing against. "What is it that you want?" He asked his breath heavy.

"I want you to kiss me." She said her eyes meeting his. Lando's lips parted; whether he was expecting that or not, it still startled him. "Lando," she breathed, "kiss me."

So, he obliged.

Chapter Text

August 2024 - Dutch Grand Prix

The past few weeks since Arabella had woken up had been a whirlwind and in many ways, it was a good thing. She didn't quite remember the coma, but she knew it felt good to be up and moving around. It felt good in her muscles and bones. Almost like her body remembered how horrible it was to be immobile for so long. There were nights she would wake up in a panic, terrified that she was back in a coma. For a few moments, her entire body was paralyzed, she could move. Then, slowly, her body remembered that it was no longer stuck.

She felt free.

In other ways, the whirlwind was terrifying. A part of her knew there were things in the missing memories that had been important to her. Memories that she cherished and had now lost. It was a subject she didn't like bringing up, at times it felt more like a reminder that she had lost them instead of the hope that she would one day regain them. The few times she did bring it up, no one seemed inclined to tell her much. With Max, she preferred to focus on the present and how he made her feel alive, but the few times she did ask he brushed her off. He would tell her that he loved her, and she was alive, which was all that mattered to him anymore. It had started out subtly, but she was starting to notice it more and more.

Then with her brother, he just claimed ignorance.

The part that was the most terrifying was that Arabella had started to notice that something was missing, and sometimes it felt like more than just the memories. It felt like a part of her, that perhaps was hidden in those memories. She had tried to explain it more than once, but it never made sense her, or to anyone else. Especially Max.

When she saw Katie Desmond at the Dutch Grand Prix, it was like a piece had fallen into place somewhere deep in her mind. It felt like getting hit by a truck, the realization that she had forgotten about her. Not just the memories she no longer had, but also the memories before her father died. The friendship that had formed between her and her biggest competition. Somehow that friendship had slipped her mind.

It was one of those double-take situations. Arabella was walking down the paddock towards the Red Deer motorhome. She noticed first the woman standing there gawking at her as she walked by, gave her a small wave and a smile then it hit her and she turned towards her friend.

"It's true." She breathed as Arabella walked closer to her. Katie remained frozen, Dimitri also frozen standing beside her.

"Katie." It wasn't a question, it was almost like she was connecting the thoughts in her brain to what she was seeing in front of her. Like the connections took longer than usual.

"Oh my god." Katie had tears streaming down her face as she wrapped her arms around her friend. "I wanted to believe it so bad, but I just..." She sniffled. "I needed to see for myself."

"I'm so sorry I didn't call, I just..." Katie leaned back shaking her head violently.

"It's okay." She said through a tear-filled smile. "You're awake, that's all that matters."

"I don't know about either of you, but I could use a drink." Dimitri said and Arabella turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Dimitri." She said his name the same way she had said Katie, although the connection to him was quicker.

"I could also use a drink." Katie said as she sniffled again. "Maybe we could all go for dinner tonight like we used to. Unless you and Lando have plans." She swallowed, trying to stop the tears. "Why are you in Red Bull clothes?" She motioned to the Red Bull shirt.

"Well, I am a Red Bull athlete after all." She said letting go of her coach she frowned at her friend. "And I'm also supporting my boyfriend."

"I thought Lando moved to McLaren?" It was Dimitri who spoke, which pulled Arabella's attention to him, and she frowned again.

"What are you talking about? I'm with Max." Dimitri and Katie exchanged a look, which only made Arabella more confused. "I know we broke up before my accident, but we're back together now." She looked between her friend and her coach. "Wait, I was in a relationship with Lando?"

"I'm confused." Katie said shaking her head.

"I have amnesia." She said and both Katie and Dimitri's eyes widened. "I don't remember anything after my father's funeral."

"You don't remember anything?" Arabella shook her head.

"Nothing." Katie's shoulders seemed to slump. "I remember Theo and Pierre's wedding, then my father dying but then it all goes blank."

"That's not right though, they got married after the funeral." Arabella's brows furrowed in confusion.

"No..." She trailed off her eyes clouding over as she sifted through her memories. It was a few minutes before she spoke again. "It's all blurry around then. I remember being at the wedding with Max, I remember being confused, but also realizing that I loved Max." She shrugged, not looking at her friends as she continued to sift. "I remember getting the phone call about my father, we were at the hotel the day after the wedding, by the pool."

"You did get the phone call about your father at the pool, but it wasn't at the hotel you were staying at for the wedding. I was there, but I wasn't invited to the wedding." Katie's tone was soft, even, like she was consoling a dangerous animal. "Maybe because they're both so close to the lost time that it's all becoming blurry, mixed somehow." Arabella shrugged, her face distant and confused.

"That's not..." She trailed off, her eyes still clouding off with the search for the truth deep in her own memories.

"We went shopping for the dress you wore to the wedding after the funeral, it was the first time you'd been out of that house all week." Katie continued, watching her friend's face carefully, waiting for any sign that it was getting to be too much. "It was a revenge dress of sorts." The corner of her mouth twitched. "After you broke up with him you decided to go to the wedding together anyways, but you definitely weren't together together."

"I broke up with him?" She nodded. "Why would I got the wedding with him then?"

"Because Max didn't want to take the spotlight off the couple. For some reason he thought your breakup would." She blinked. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to confuse you more."

"No, no." Arabella said quickly grabbing her friend's hand. "Honestly no one will tell me anything."

"Why not?"

"Something my doctors said, about my mind being fragile." Katie's lips fell open.

"Oh fuck." Dimitri breathed.

"I'm so sorry." Katie said quickly panic seeping into her voice. "I didn't mean to.... Fuck."

"It's okay." Arabella said giving her friend a reassuring smile.

"Honestly," Dimitri said clearing his throat, "the Arabella I knew, was never scared of taking risks. Even if it meant bodily harm."

"Even if it meant losing more of herself?" Katie snapped, but Arabella smiled at her coach, in a way that reminded Katie of who she had been before the accident.

"Tell me." Arabella said after taking a deep shaking breath. "Tell me everything."

Everywhere Max went people were cheering, asking for autographs and even waving flags and posters with his face on them. It wasn't anything new, the flags, chants, especially not the autographs, since he was the reigning world champion. However, in the Netherlands, it was like his fans had tripled in numbers and had all taken steroids. He was the hometown favorite, and it was electrifying.

It also inflated his ego.

It was because of that inflated ego that he hardly noticed Arabella's mood during the first day of free practice, or even the morning of qualifying. He had hardly noticed her at all if he was honest. He knew she was there, supporting him, but he had been so focused on qualifying and the race ahead that she took a backseat.

The high he felt after taking pole in his home race, was indescribable. It didn't dissipate the entire drive back to the hotel, his smile remained tattooed on his face as he waved to fans on the drive. As he walked through the hotel lobby, and even when he was alone, letting himself into the hotel room, the muscles in his cheek refused to relax.

Even when he was met with Arabella, sitting at the small table in front of the window, no sign of a smile on her face. His ego was still so inflated that it took him a few steps into the hotel room, to notice that there was something bothering her.

"Hey." He said dropping his keys and wallet on the first surface he found before taking a few extra steps into the room. It was then that he noticed the suitcase near the door, along with Arabella's oversized carry-on purse that he usually poked fun at her for. "Are you going somewhere?"

"That depends on you." She said turning from her spot at the window. The dipping sun illuminated the side of her face, the long dirty blond hair, and the swollen skin under her eyes. She'd been crying.

"Are you okay, did you get your memories back?" She closed her eyes shaking her head. He hoped she didn't read the subtle relief that flooded him. He noticed then the glass of wine in her hand and the bottle that was sitting on the table, half empty. "I thought you weren't supposed to be drinking."

"The doctor said a lot of things." Max's brows furrowed.

"I'm confused, what's going on."

"I'm going to give you one more chance to answer my question, and you don't get to blow me off this time. I want a real answer, one that I'll actually believe." Her tone was wavering as if she was walking the line between breaking down and trying to be strong.

"What question?"

"Why did we break up?" Each word was spaced from the other as if she wanted him to see how badly she needed the answer. Max took a deep breath.

"After your father died," he started and her shoulders instantly slumped, "you changed." Setting the glass down she lowered herself into a chair. "We drifted apart."

"You drifted." She said into her hands. "You drifted."

"We both did." She looked up at that, tears in her eyes as she turned her gaze towards him.

"So, it was both of us who climbed into bed with Kelly then?" He froze, his entire body seemed to freeze.

"What did Kelly say?"

"Kelly wasn't the one who told me." She said narrowing her eyes toward him. "Although I did speak to her in the paddock today."

"Whatever she said..."

"Stop lying to me!" She snapped, swiping her hand the wine glass went sliding off the table and shattered on the ground by the window. Arabella flinched; Max just stared at her.

"I cheated physically, but you..." Arabella cut him off with a snort as she stood from the chair.

"Did I cheat psychologically?" She rolled her eyes.

"I tried to tell you," Max said taking a step towards her, "after you woke up, but you told me nothing mattered. That all you cared about was being with me again."

"And when I asked you why we broke up?"

"The doctor said...."

"Enough with the fucking doctor." She snapped again. "I don't care what he said anymore, I'm taking charge of my own life."

"He's not trying to control your life; he's trying to protect it."

"Dr. Andrews might be trying to protect my life, but what have you been doing?" She took a deep breath. "Protecting me or controlling me?" Max looked taken aback by her comment. He even took a step back, as if her words had physically hurt him.

"Protecting you." She shook her head. "Bella, it was a mistake and I'm sorry." He reached for her.

"Which one?" She snapped and his hand dropped back to his side.

"I thought this was my second chance." His own tone had started to shake. "I chance I never thought I would get. Then with your accident," his voice broke, "I realized just how horribly I had treated you, just how," he paused when she closed her eyes, tears sliding down her face, "when you woke up and came straight for me. I thought it was my second chance, the second chance I had been praying for, even if it was just for a moment."

"I've been awake for a month. That's a little longer than a moment."

"I thought your memories would be back by now." Which was the truth. He had never expected his little slice of heaven to last this long.

"You said you'd been praying for this second chance." She motioned between them and he nodded, taking another step towards her.

"Was that before or after you fucked Kelly every night?" Once again, he froze. His lips parted in shock. Arabella had never seen him so stunned before, so stuck for words, at least as far she could remember.

"I don't know..."

"I asked you to stop lying to me." He clamped his mouth shut. Arabella rounded the chair taking a few steps towards him. "How long was it? After we broke up did you and Kelly start dating?" Max, intelligently, remained silent. "How long before I woke up did you break up?"

"It wasn't..." She had taken enough slow steps towards him that she was standing only a foot away from him, a challenge in her eyes. He let out a long breath. "Not long before you woke up." Her eyes narrowed.

"Just before or just after?"

"Arabella...." He took a step back running a hand through his hair, turning away from her.

"Did you even bother to change the sheets?" She said her tone broken and exhausted. When he turned back to her, there was no fight left in her eyes. "When I came to you in Austria, when you took me to your bed and made love to me." The words were slow, broken, and tears had started to slide down her face. "Told me you loved me and never wanted to let me go again." She took a shaking breath. "Had you bothered to change the sheet from when you woke up next to her."

"I love you." Were the only words he could think to say, but even he could see that it was the wrong thing to say. She shook her head, whipping underneath her eyes, and turned back to the bottle of wine.

"No, you don't." She said grabbing the bottle she turned towards him. "You have to actually respect someone in order to love them."

"Please." He didn't try to reach for her as she walked past him towards the suitcase at the door, he didn't take a single step towards her. The plea in his voice was all that was left, even though he knew that there was nothing that would keep her there. "I can't lose you again."

"You never had me." She snapped, turning to face him as she opened the door. "You may have controlled the last month of my life, but it was all a lie. A desperate attempt to recreate something that you fucked up in the first place." He took a step towards her.

"I.." Max swallowed. "Just know that you fell out of me long before I cheated, you were sneaking away at night to meet my teammate." He spat the word.

"I know about my relationship with Lando." She spat back at him. "Katie told me everything."

"Ask him why Lando wasn't the one to tell you."

"I don't want to fucking hear it." She slid her suitcase out the door.

"It was because he was too worried about losing his seat." At that Arabella froze. "Ask him." Slowly she turned back to face him, her face a mixture of anger, and hurt. He had hurt her. Again.

"With all due respect Max, go fuck yourself."

Then she was gone.

It wasn't easy; Lando had almost as big of a crowd around him as Max had at all times. Sometimes bigger. Being the challenger to Max's world titles came with a lot of attention. More so, since he had negotiated out of his contract with Red Bull early and gone back to McLaren. There had been a lot of rumors about why, some outrageous, some close to the truth. Neither Max nor Lando had told the truth, or given much comment other than to wish the other the best and that Lando missed his McLaren family. Even the team principals kept their comments tight-lipped and vague.

Somehow, even with the entourage of people, it worked. Lando had spotted her and smiled, crossing the paddock towards her, but the reunion took a turn from excitement and old friends, to worry and regret very quickly as Katie explained what had happened with Arabella and her part in it. She didn't regret telling her, what Katie regretted was telling her in a place where she didn't have time to process it. In a place where Kelly was lurking, desperate to tell her side of the story.

Lando didn't get angry, just worried. As soon as Katie mentioned that Arabella had planned to confront Max, they started to move. Lando dismissed himself from the rest of his responsibilities for the day before leading Katie towards the parking and his car. It didn't take a genius to understand that he was worried for her, hoping that whatever the confrontation was between her and Max had not trigged something, but there was something else. It lingered at the edges as if waiting for the worry to subside, and it looked a lot like relief.

When they arrived at the hotel room, Arabella was already there, sitting out on the balcony. There was an empty bottle of wine on the dresser that Katie confirmed wasn't hers, and another on the small table beside her that was about half empty. Making Lando and Katie exchange another look of pure worry.

"Arabella?" Katie called, taking the initiative, and moving past Lando.

"I ordered pizza." Was her only reply, she didn't even turn as she brought the wine glass up to her lips.

"I brought someone." Katie continued. "Someone who wanted to see you."

"Hey Bells." Her back stiffened at his voice, and slowly she set the wine glass down and rose.

"Lando?" She asked turning to face him. There were no tears on her face anymore, although there was swelling under her eyes as evidence that she had been crying earlier. "What are you doing here?"

"Katie told me that she filled you in."

"She did." Her tone was cold, which made Katie furrow her brows. "Get out." Lando's brows furrowed at that.

"I know you don't remember, but I do care about you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Well, I'm obviously not." She snapped. "Everyone was lying to me." Her voice was broken, drunk, but broken.

"I'm sorry." He said truthfully. "I didn't agree with your brother when he asked me to step away, but we were all scared too much information would hurt you."

"Someone could have told me the basics." She groaned. "Hey, you broke up with Max because he cheated on you and then you jumped into bed with his teammate."

"That's not exactly how it happened." Lando said the corner of his mouth twitching. "We had a beautiful relationship, you may not remember it, but I think a part of you knows what you feel for me." He smiled. "You love me."

"Perhaps." She didn't deny the emotions that his words had brought up. The twisting in her gut and in her heart told her that there was truth seeded in what he was saying. This could be that piece that she had been missing. "But if what she said is true," she motioned to Katie, "you loved me in a way that she had never seen anyone love someone before. She said it took watching Theo and Pierre's wedding for me to realize that I wasn't in love with Max, but instead that I had been falling in love with his teammate."

"That's right." He nodded. "Over late-night conversations on dark patios."

"I remember those." Tears started pooling in Lando's eyes.

"I missed you so much." He breathed, taking a step towards her. "God, I just..." He paused as she stepped back, putting her hand up as if to stop him. "What are you doing?"

"If you really loved me in that way." Her breathing was shaking, her words mimicking it. "Why didn't you of all people tell me?" His hand dropped from where he had been reaching for her.

"Your brother asked me too."

"Why is everyone lying to me." She asked no one in particular as she ran a hand through her hair. Her words were more of a breath leaving her body as she shook her head confused.

"He's not lying." Katie stepped forward, and at that Arabella met her gaze. In her friends' eyes, there was nothing but pain and confusion; they were pushing her too hard.

"Tell me that Max is then." She said turning her attention back to Lando. "Tell me that he's an asshole who lies and that you didn't keep your distance because he threatened your career."

The room fell silent, even Katie waited, turning her attention to Lando. It broke her heart to see the regret painted on his face as he realized that Max was right. It didn't take long for Arabella to notice it either, a whimpering sound leaving her throat.

"I might have been able to forgive that, had you told me the truth right away." She breathed. "I get ambition, and loving your career more than life itself." Lando shook his head, but she didn't let him speak. "But if you loved me the way you and Katie both claim, I would have expected a little more fight from you."

"I'm sorry." He breathed. "I'm so sorry."

"Get out." She said again, all the fight out of her voice. She turned back towards the balcony.

"Maybe we'll see you after the race." Katie offered her voice low. "When she's sober and had some time to think." Lando didn't look at Katie, but he nodded. "I'm sorry." She added noticing the shimmering that had started in his eyes signaling tears, but he didn't acknowledge it.

"Take care of her." Was all he said to her before he turned and left.

By the time the door clicked shut behind him, Arabella was on her knees. Broken sobs and whimpering coming from her, and Katie was just forced to watch as her friend, whom she thought she'd lost, completely fell apart.

Lando did his best to put Arabella out of his mind while he prepared for the race. Although he checked his phone incessantly. So much so that his performance coach actually took it from him.

He wasn't sure what he expected, a phone call from her, maybe a text, but she had seemed to make herself pretty clear the night before. Max had broken her heart, but the shadow of her heart that had believed him and Katie when they told her she loved him. Lando had broken that one too.

Which in turn, broke a part of his heart too.

Not that there was much left of his heart to break. Since she had woken up, the only thing that was keeping him going was racing. He had thrown himself into it. Taking all of his frustrations and pains out on the driver in front of him. Which, most of the time, was Max Verstappen.

The Dutch Grand Prix would be no exception.

He won easily, which made him almost frown as he came across the finish line with Max down in 4th place. A part of him knew it was because of Arabella, but he chose to ignore that fact. Especially as he sprayed the champagne on the podium and chose to focus on his glory.

It was from the podium that he noticed the ambulance lights across the track, between the breaks in the grandstands. He paused, making the other drivers notice it too. It was Lewis who asked if anyone knew what had happened. Which was very characteristic of him; always making sure that everyone around him was okay. When the employee responded that he didn't know, Lewis made sure that someone found out and reported back.

Unfortunately, Lando found out first.

His performance coach appeared at the side of the podium, escorted by someone in an FIA shirt and earpiece. It wasn't his presence that alarmed him, but the look on his face that had made Lando's blood turn ice cold. As he made his way towards him, his coach held out his phone.

"Hello?" Lando asked into the phone, and for a moment nothing but sniffles answered. Lando pulled the phone back enough to see who was calling. "Katie, what's going on?" Only a broken sob answered him for a long moment.

"I don't know what happened." She finally spoke, her voice soaked with tears and sobs. "She was fine, she was completely fine." His blood chilled further.

"Where's Arabella?" Lando demanded. It was a desperate attempt, but her answering sob only confirmed his worst fear.

"She..." Her voice broke. "She had a seizure."

Chapter Text

June 2023 

"God this feels good." Katie moaned as she slid her back across a jet, letting the high pressure of water massage out some knots that had started to form. She could fall asleep there, it was obvious by the look of pure euphoria on her face as her eyelids drifted closed and her head fell back on the tiled edge.

"You know what would feel better?" Arabella asked, already pulling herself from the luxuriously hot water.

"Nothing." Katie said her tone as lightweight as she surely felt. Her eyes were closed to her friend's mischievous smile, and her plan as Arabella threw herself from the hot tub into the pool beside her. A splash of water came up and attacked her friend sending a shock through her system. She screamed, bringing the attention of everyone around the pool. Her body threw her from where she sat, she turned back only to find her friend standing in the pool giggling.

"Bitch." She breathed which only sent her friend into a further fit of giggles. "You are so dead." Katie vowed as she jumped into the pool sending waves of water toward her friend.

Their giggles along with the splashing water echoed around the pool deck. That combined with the two girls wearing bikinis and drenched with water, it pulled the attention of everyone around. Including those who happened to be staying at the same hotel.

Katie wasn't that surprised at their presence, considering Arabella had originally planned the be here as a guest of Max. Since Monaco, many things had changed between the two of them, but Arabella had yet to let her friend in on everything that had happened. Instead, Katie just waited, assuming her friend would tell her when she was ready.

However, there were a few things she noticed especially since they were all staying at the same hotel in Austria. The distance Arabella put between herself and Max, although he somehow managed to be around most of the time. He stood waist-deep on the other side of the pool, leaning against the side with his phone in his hands. Although the allure of a bikini-wearing, drenched Arabella made his glances over his shoulder more frequent. So frequent that Katie fought the urge to splash him.

She also noticed the glances from Max's teammate; Lando. Which wasn't anything new, but there was something different about them. They were more subtle than Max, as they always had been, but there seemed to be more emotion in them. Then there were the responding glances from Arabella. Before they had been quick, almost dismissive, ignorant of the emotions that Lando had for her. Now, her glances held more emotion, and when they met, it was almost as if Katie could feel the shift in the air around them.

At the pool, his glances were the most subtle. Lando lounged shirtless on one of the chairs, his sunglasses hiding the true focus of his gaze, but by the slight curve of his lips, Katie figured he was probably looking at Arabella. Watching her giggle and laugh, playing like a little girl in the pool. Arabella glanced towards him more than once, smiling at him before turning back to her water fight.

So, Katie remained patiently waiting for an explanation.

"Hey, Bella?" Lando called just as Arabella dove underneath the surface of the water. When Katie turned towards him he was sitting up, his sunglasses pushed up to the top of his head, making his curly hair stick up in some places. "Bella?" He called again this time looking towards where Katie stood. She pointed just as Arabella's head poked up through the water.

"Is someone calling my name?" She asked and Katie nodded, motioning towards where Lando was now standing.

"You're brother is calling you." He said holding her phone out to her.

"He's fine." She shrugged, waving him off. "If it's important he'll leave a voicemail." Lando shrugged, turning back towards his chair. He paused.

"He's calling again." Arabella frowned but came to the side of the pool. Lando held the phone out to her, but she struggled with her wet fingers.

"Fuck." She breathed. "Can you just answer it?"

"Umm." He hesitated for a moment, but then answered the phone bringing it to his ear. "Hello? No, it's Lando." There was a pause. "She's here, just in the pool, one sec." He held the phone out to her. "I think it's important.

"Can you just put it on speaker?" Lando hesitated but nodded, holding it out he put it on speaker. "Hey, Levi."

"I didn't realize you were with Lando."

"I'm with a bunch of people. Katie and I just happen to be staying in the same hotel as Lando," she paused, "and Max." Her eyes flicked up toward Lando when she said his name.

"Ah."

"What's up?"

"It's dad." Her heart stopped dead in her chest, and her entire body froze.

"What happened, is he okay?" There was a pause, a deathly long pause in Arabella's mind.

"Bells, it's time." Levi took a breath and Arabella felt the ground shifting beneath her feet. "It's time to come home." Her head grew light. "You have to come home. Now."

The world around her started to slow, as her heartbeat seemed to pick up in her ears drowning out all sounds. Everything Levi said after was a blur. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lando lean towards the phone, speaking to her brother. All she heard was a blur of noise behind the deafening beating of her heart. Everything sounded too far away. All her senses had become muffled. Her chest grew tight, making it hard to breathe, her vision blurred, and her skin has grown so numb that she couldn't tell if she was even still in the water.

"Bella?" A voice cut through the fog. His voice, as a hand brushed against her shoulder breaking through more layers of numbness. "Bella, are you okay?" She looked up, meeting Lando's concerned blue eyes. "Arabella?" Her name, her full name on his lips, cut through the last layers of fog. Bringing her back to the pool, to herself.

"I have to...." She mumbled, pushing herself off the side of the pool she started towards the stairs.

"What can we do?" It was Katie, coming up beside her as she waded through the water. She could feel Max's eyes on her.

"I.." She stumbled on the words. "I don't know." It was the truth. They got to the stairs and stepped out where Lando was waiting with a towel.

"Katie, can you take her to her room, help her pack." Lando said his tone was stern but comforting somehow. Arabella welcomed it, only nodding. "I'll see about finding a way for you back to Hoorn, as soon as possible."

"I'll get our things." Katie said before going towards the pool chairs where they had left their clothes, bags, and everything. Lando's hand trailed down Arabella's arm, making her look up at him again.

"Anything you need." He said, not as a question just a statement. "Anything." The smile he gave her was laced with sympathy but also compassion. Something about it made her heart swell slightly and she nodded. With that confirmation, Lando pressed her phone back into her hand and walked back toward his own chair.

"Bella?" His voice was as harsh as the cold water after sitting in the hot tub. It was sharp, somehow cutting away any warmth that Lando's smile had brought her. Any comfort. "What's going on?"

"I have to go." Was all she said as Max stepped up beside her, his hand brushing against the same spot that Lando's had. She stepped out of his touch quickly, moving towards the door into the hotel.

"Wait," he followed her, grabbing her arm, "stop." She almost smacked his hand. "Just tell me what's going on."

"I have to go home, it's my dad."

"What do you mean? Who was that on the phone?"

"It was Levi." She practically hissed the words at him. "I have to go home, it's my dad."

"That's it?" At that, she yanked her arm out of his grasp.

"What do you mean that's it?" Max regretted his words, it was written all over his face, either way, she didn't care. "What do you want, a fucking play-by-play of the phone conversation?"

"No, I just...." She just stared at him, blinking. For a moment that was all, she could do. "Do you want me to come?" Just like that, anger replaced every other emotion that had bombarded her since she had answered the phone.

"And why wouldn't I want you to come?" Her tone was stern, the question redundant but she stared at him expectantly still. He just looked at her, as if waiting for her to say yes. "Why should I want you of all people to come with me?"

"You don't sound like you want me to."

"What the fuck am I supposed to sound like?" She snapped.

"I thought we agreed to be there for each other, despite..."

"Despite you fucking someone else." She spat the words at him.

"Everything." He finished his own sentence despite her harsh words. "I just want to be there for you, let me be there for you. Please." Her own anger was threatening to overwhelm her. Something inside her started to break, something that had been waiting for the last pebble that made everything start to crumble around her.

"Like you were there for me in Monaco?" Her voice had broken. Tears starting to pool in her eyes. Without waiting for another word, or letting Max see her cry she yanked the door into the hotel open and stepped through. He watched her go, remaining there for a few moments before he turned back to the pool. Back to where his own stuff was, and his hotel key. He wanted to leave before someone saw the emotion on his face. Before anyone...

"You're fucking kidding." Katie said, standing far enough away that he hadn't noticed her, but close enough that she indeed heard every word.

Katie reached their room shortly after Arabella did, finding her sitting on the edge of the bed. Her suitcase had been thrown on the bed, along with a few of her belongings, but she was now just staring into something in her hands.

"He's going to die." She breathed. "There's no way I can get there in time."

"Lando will get you a flight." Katie said coming around the bed she started to fold the clothes that she had thrown there. "And I am going to help you pack." Arabella nodded looking back down at the keychain in her hands.

Without saying another word Arabella stood and started grabbing clothes throwing them onto the bed. With her help, it took longer than it should have. Help being a loose term. Every time she went into the closet for one thing, she forgot three more. More than once she brought out clothes that belonged to Katie. Katie didn't say anything, only sorted through the clothes and items before packing them away. She even remained silent when Arabella went into the bathroom with a sweater, only to leave the sweater and come out with half of her toiletries.

Lando arrived just as Arabella had brought yet another batch of clothes, all belonging to Katie. "I found a flight into Amsterdam that leaves in a few hours, I just need your passport." Abandoning the clothes on the floor at her feet, she crossed to the safe in the closet and grabbed a passport. Lando took it.

"This is Katies." He said his tone calm, Arabella turned her face confused. "It's British." She groaned, pressing a hand to her forehead. She was still in her bikini; she hadn't thought to change yet. When she noticed it she groaned again, dropping herself onto the bed.

"I'll get it." Katie offered, coming around the bed she disappeared into the closet. When she came back to exchange them, he wouldn't let the British passport go.

"I'll need them both."

"I don't understand?" Katie's brows furrowed.

"I know you want to be alone right now." He was talking to Arabella, looking at her with such emotion that Katie almost felt uneasy witnessing it. "That you feel like this is something you have to do on your own, but you don't have to be." He glanced at the room, the half-packed bags, and the scattered clothing. "And I don't think you should be." Despite everything, Arabella smiled at that.

"I..." Lando turned to Katie.

"I thought you'd be the best choice."

"As long as that's what you want." Katie said turning her attention from Lando and his amazing show of support for her friend to her friend who was still staring at him. Blinking she turned to Katie. "If it's me that you want to come with you." Katie knew she was opening a door she didn't know much information about, and that it might be the wrong time to do so, but she felt like she owed it to her best friend to at least give her the opportunity to swing it open.

"I..." Arabella frowned for a moment, taking in Katie's reassuring smile. "Will you come with me?" She asked turning to Lando. There was a look of pure surprise on Lando's face, but there was none on Katies.

"I would love to." He said and she smiled. "I'll meet you in the lobby when you're done?" She nodded and then Lando handed Katie her passport and left.

"I'm sorry...." Arabella started but Katie just held up a hand.

"Don't be." She reassured her friend. "Just promise me you'll call. Call me when you...." She caught herself before her voice broke, taking a deep breath. "Just call me." Arabella nodded.

Somehow Arabella found herself changed into a pair of sweats and a hoodie, sitting in the back seat of a town car on her way to the airport on her way to what would be the longest plane ride of her life. Lando went with her, not speaking much, not forcing her to either. He didn't do anything other than help her in any way that he could. Which meant taking her suitcase, holding onto her boarding pass and passport and even helping her through security. Where she had walked off, leaving her shoes in the bin on the belt.

Until they got on the highway heading from Amsterdam to Hoorn, she hadn't realized how desperately she needed to see her father again. How desperately she gripped onto the need to say goodbye. It was as if getting closer to Hoorn only made the death grip of her desperation to tighten. Making the air around her grow thin and making it harder to breathe.

It was the only thing that had stopped her from breaking down; the hope that she would get that chance.

However, the moment she stepped out of the car in Hoorn. The moment the air in Hoorn hit her face. Filled her lungs. She knew something was off. The air felt different, smelt different, and the ground under her feet seemed to be stuck at an odd angle throwing everything off. As if everything around her was telling her the visit was nothing like all the times she had come before.

Whatever it was, it was right.

Preparations for the funeral were easy; once her father had discovered there was no coming back from his illness he had made all the arrangements himself. Unfortunately, Lando had commitments that took him away shortly after they arrived. It hurt to see him go, but now that she was around her family he didn't need to be there anymore.

After Levi and Arabella had met with their father's lawyer, all that was left was their hosting duties. Family and friends started pouring in. Offering their condolences, bringing flowers, food, some items that had belonged to their father in his youth, or things that reminded them of him. The hardest part was listening to them talk about their father, especially in their family home. It made Arabella and Levi both realize just how much they were robbed of in their father's last months.

The entire time she ignored phone calls from everyone, only answering a few texts here and there. Just letting them know enough that she was okay, or that she would be. Despite that, some of them kept calling, even if they were always ignored. A few left messages which she only listened to a few, but just the idea of them calling, and continuing the call made her feel loved.

It wasn't until the morning of the funeral that she realized just how badly she wanted someone there. Someone to hold her hand and stand beside her as they lowered her father to the ground. As she dressed and made the final preparations, she felt the most alone despite the house being filled with family and friends. Friends of her father, however, not her.

With Levi by her side, they pulled up to the church on an overcast day. Sliding her arm through her brothers she took a breath and let him lead her towards their father's grave. Nowhere near ready to say goodbye to him forever, but somehow her steps didn't falter.

Four days ago, she had rushed into her father's hospital room desperate to say goodbye. Only to realize that she was too late. Now she stood in his presence again, only he was now lying in a wooden box instead of a hospital bed, wearing a suit instead of a gown and he had been dead for days, instead of just a few minutes.

"Look whose here." Levi said giving her arm a light shake. They had stepped into the front of the church where her father's casket was open for viewing. She tore her eyes away from him long enough to follow Levi's gaze.

Giving her a small smile, Katie walked towards her, dressed in a simple black dress. Behind her, dressed in all black and holding a small bouquet of tulips, which happened to be her mother's favorite flower, was Lando. His smile was the mirror of hers, but it somehow warmed her heart even more.

Made her realize that she wasn't alone. 

July 16th, 2023

"Don't be nervous." Levi said as they drove out of the city. She had spent the first half of the trip nervously picking at the hem of her slate-colored gown. It was cold in the air-conditioned car with the thin straps and her bare back against the leather seats. The bodice of the dress was modest enough to contrast the thigh-high slit that cut through the matte fabric of the skirt, revealing a toned leg and a pair of strappy heels.

"I'm not nervous." She lied, dropping the hem she smoothed out the fabric of her skirt. "My mind's just cloudy." Thankfully her dirty blond hair was pinned up with only a few strands falling around her face otherwise she would have been running her hands through it all night.

"It's going to be okay." He said reassuring her, with his eyes on the road ahead of them. "Today will be a good distraction." Arabella nodded, choosing to look out the window towards the Greek countryside as it blurred by.

They pulled up to the stunning outdoor venue on the coast overlooking the ocean. Levi said his goodbye, and that he was just a phone call away as she stepped out and met with Max who had been waiting for her. They had agreed to attend the wedding together, only because they had rsvp'd together, and Arabella didn't want to put any strain on the bride and groom. Not on their big day. She could pretend for one day, to support people she had begun to admire and perhaps even call her friends.

Max introduced her to a few people, some were incredibly famous others were just important people to the bride, groom, or Max himself. There were people from all over in attendance, most of them worked in Formula One or knew someone who did. The rest of them were personal friends and family. By the time they took their seats overlooking the ocean and the archway where the officiant waited, there were more names swirling in her head than there were places to store them.

As they rose for the entrance of the bride, Arabella watched as the bride took her first few steps down the aisle. She looked stunningly beautiful in white lace paired with a veil that covered her face. Although nothing could stop the smile of absolute and pure happiness from shining through. As she stepped closer to the groom, Arabella turned to look at the groom. He was a handsome man, dashing in a suit. However, the most attractive thing about him, in that moment was the way he looked at his bride. The pure love on his face, and the tears that had formed in his eyes.

It was obvious that he loved her with his entire being. A type of love many only dreamed of.

Arabella's gaze shifted, her own eyes watering not with happiness but with pain. Beside her was the man who had held her heart in his hands and then crushed it. Broke it into pieces, the same pieces that had been crushed again after the passing of her father. Those pieces were dust, threatened to be taken on a wind that would never let her heal.

Then her eyes landed on one of the groomsmen. Pierre had a few, most of them were drivers, not all in Formula One, but some were. They were all dressed in tan suits with white dress shirts with the top few buttons undone. Their pocket squares were a pale blue that matched the color of the flowers that each of the bridesmaids held. Lando's hair was styled in a way that Arabella had never seen, his face watching his friend get married with happiness and excitement. As if sensing her gaze, he turned to look at her, their eyes meeting.

For a moment they just stared at each other as the love that was present in the room seemed to make the air warm and thick. It made its way into Arabella's body, into her heart making her feel a sensation she hadn't felt for a long time. The wedding seemed to blur and fall away around her as they just stared at each other. His lips falling apart slightly, as if the breath had escaped him and then he smiled. It practically took the breath from her lungs.

"I love you." She breathed, her tone barely above a whisper. The words practically sprinted from her lips, as if she needed to say them. Even if their recipient was nowhere near close enough to hear them.

"What was that?" Max asked, his arm sliding across her shoulders. She fought off the urge to push him off.

"Nothing." She said, and for a moment she felt his eyes on the side of her face. Her gaze still held Lando's and he followed it. Just as Lando turned back to the bride and groom. When Max looked back at Arabella her gaze had dropped to her lap.

His arm soon disappeared from around her shoulders.

"I never heard their story." A woman said coming up beside Arabella as she stood along the perimeter of the dance floor. In front of them, the first dance was happening. Arabella recognized the woman as one of the dates of a man that Max had introduced her to, but she couldn't remember in the moment. It was obvious that Pierre and Theodora were mad for each other. They couldn't go five minutes without touching each other in some way. Even if it was nothing but a brush of a shoulder.

"They met through Alpha Tauri, she was their second driver." Arabella said with a shrug, bringing he champagne to her lips.

"I heard about the female driver."

"She was pretty good too."

"Was?" The woman asked and Arabella looked at her and nodded.

"She was in a bad crash not too long ago." She turned back to the newlyweds. "It almost killed her."

"That was her?" Arabella nodded.

"Pierre couldn't do anything; he was forced just to watch and wait." It was a story she knew well. Firstly, she had been at that race, second, she had heard it again from Max when the wedding invitation had come in the mail. "After the race, he vowed not to spend another minute without her." A smile spread across her face. "He proposed to her in the hospital."

"That's so romantic." She mumbled and Arabella nodded. Her gaze caught the smile of a certain groomsman across the dance floor. Lando had lost his jacket somewhere and was standing with some other drivers.

"It really is."

"To love someone so much that you can't imagine spending another moment without them." The woman sucked in a breath. "That's pretty rare."

"I wouldn't say so." Max said coming up behind her. Arabella blinked turning her gaze back to the happy couple just as Max slid an arm around her waist her back pressing into his chest. The woman smiled at them.

"You make a stunning couple." She reached out placing a hand on Arabella's arm, then she walked off into the crowd.

"I need a drink." She mumbled, stepping out of his arms. Without looking at him, she walked towards the bar, ignoring the fact that the champagne flute in her hand was half full.

When she got to the bar she ordered a glass of champagne, but then replaced it with a shot of tequila. Knocking it back almost immediately, she ordered another. Letting the burn of the liquid down her throat clear her mind and remove the sensation from her limbs.

"Everything okay?" Lando asked coming up behind her. She nodded, motioning for another tequila shot which the bartender obliged.

"Everything is perfect." She said knocking it back before she grabbed her champagne flute and started back into the crowds of people watching the first dance.

Lando stepped beside her, silent as they watched Pierre and Theodora dance around the floor. The first song had ended, but the couple refused to stop dancing. When the second one picked up a few others joined them, but none of them danced with the same emotion as the bride and groom.

"They're so in love." Arabella said, taking a sip of her champagne to wash away the taste of tequila. "It's a rare type of love."

"I agree." Lando said, although his gaze didn't move from Arabella's face.

"It's the type of love that shouldn't be ignored."

"I agree." Lando slid his fingers down her forearm and her gaze shifted down watching as their fingers intertwined in each other. A little jolt of electricity slid up her arm as his thumb slid across her knuckles. Her breath caught and for a moment, everything around her fell away. Again. It felt so amazing, so right, standing there with him. Even if the only touch was that of their hands.

"I..." She stumbled on the words, the feeling between them threatening to overwhelm her. Despite saying them out loud not long ago. The only issue was Lando was now beside her and could hear her every breath.

"I have an idea." Lando said stepping in front of her, and lifted her chin with his fingers he forced her to look at him. "Let's just get drunk and have a good time. Use this day as the only thing it should be a distraction."

"You, get drunk?" She raised an eyebrow her body relaxing. Lando smiled, biting his lip he leaned his head back as if contemplating what she was saying, what he had agreed to do. "You don't drink."

"Only on special occasions." He amended.

"Right." She said looking back at the happy couple still dancing as if the third song hadn't just started. "Today is a special occasion."

"That," Lando said following her gaze, "and you."

"I'm not a special occasion."

"Maybe not." Lando smiled, the type of smile that made her knees grow weak. "But you're special to me." 

Chapter Text

August 2024 – After the Dutch Grand Prix 

As Formula One drivers, they know how to deal with your fear. How to curb it and focus on what was right in front of them. He had a compartment in his brain where he could shove his fear and slam the door shut. Ignore the sinking feeling, the panic, and the realization of how dangerous their job really was. It worked in other scenarios as well. It's why he knew Lewis loved skydiving, and Charles loved to ice climb. It was why there needed to be a clause in most rookie Formula One contracts to stop rookies from putting their lives at risk off the track to ensure they could compete on the track to their full abilities.

He knew how to deal with fear. Except in that moment.

It all happened in torturous slow motion, but also in a dangerous blur. He remembered the phone call, the words that Katie had spoke which turned his blood to ice. What he didn't remember was dropping his phone or the bottle of champagne, he only found out later on when he tried to call Katie back and someone told him he couldn't; his phone was broken.

Then there was the hospital, the bright fluorescent lights, the scurrying nurses, doctors, and aids. He remembered looking down at his sweaty and champagne-covered race suit and thinking how dirty it looked in comparison to all the sterilized equipment. Which was a weird thing to notice. Right?

"Are you family?" A nurse asked, from across a long desk in the ER. He must have been in the ER, where else would they have taken her, taken....

"Arabella Van Dijk, is she here?" Lando asked and the nurse blinked. Looking to the nurse sitting beside her.

"I have a patient with that name. Sir, are you family?" Lando blinked.

"I'm her...." he trailed off, not knowing what to call himself. How many different terms swirled around in his brain? He wasn't her boyfriend, not anymore, but they had never broken up. Did that make him her ex-boyfriend? The thought of saying it out loud pained him. Pained him enough that he just let his shoulders slump. "I'm her friend."

"I'm sorry sir, I can't let you in." The nurse said which somehow pained him even more. He wasn't even sure what pain he was feeling. How it mixed together with the other emotions along with the fear. The fear he wasn't able to curb. The fear that threatened to overwhelm him.

"Please." He begged, his voice not sounding like his own. "She was my," he practically choked on the words, "girlfriend but then she was in an accident, and she doesn't remember. Doesn't remember our relationship, doesn't remember the love we shared." Tears had threatened his eyes, and there was no holding them back. "I can live in a world without waking up next to her, I know that now, but I love her enough to know that I can't live in a world where she doesn't exist. Even if her memories of that love are gone."

For agonizingly long seconds, the nurse just stared at him. The nurse who was sitting in her chair beside her had a hand on her chest as if his words had somehow touched her. There was a glance and then the nurse who had been standing turned to the computer.

"She had a seizure." Lando nodded knowing that much. "The girl who came in with her explained her condition, so the seizure it's all that uncommon. She'd been taking to get some images to make sure it's nothing serious."

"So, she's going to be okay?"

"Unless there are complications, she should be just fine."

Lando had trained himself to ignore fear, to put it away in a compartment in his brain so that he didn't feel the effects of it. However, in doing that he also never felt the effects of the relief that came after the fear. The rush of pure relief that hit him after hearing the nurse tell him that she was going to be okay. It overwhelmed him. With his already exhausted muscles from the race, there was nothing to stop him from falling to his knees. A nurse rushed to help him, but he just let it happen. Let the tears fall down his face, he hardly even noticed the pain of his knees hitting the hard floor. He just knelt there, in front of the nurse's desk, and wept.

In his race suit, knowing full fell that many people around would know who he was. He still just knelt there and wept. In pure relief. 

No matter how many times the doctors told her that the seizure was common in a patient with a history of head trauma, or the fact that she was unconscious wasn't uncommon, Katie still panicked. Panicked until her friend was lying in a room, still unconscious, breathing in front of her that she felt the panic start to dissipate.

Just slightly.

Sitting next to her friend in a hospital bed was all too familiar. It felt like being transported back in time to where she had said her goodbyes before Arabella's brother had transported back to Hoorn. She had respected Levi's opinion back then because she somehow knew her friend would come back. Or else she refused to believe that she wouldn't. Arabella Van Dijk was a fighter, and everyone knew it. There was no chance she wouldn't wake up from her coma.

She had been right. However, this time, sitting there looking at her friend lying in a hospital bed once more. She realized that the few days she had gotten with her friend could have been just a massive cosmic joke. That she had been given a glimpse at what life might be like if Arabella ever woke from her coma. The faith was still there, the faith that her friend would be fine, but there was also more doubt than there had been before.

"What happened?" The voice was quiet, groggy, but it was hers. Katie's head snapped from where she had leaned it back trying not to cry back to her friend. Her eyes searched her face desperately. Her eyelids had fluttered shut, but her face was scrunching like she was uncomfortable. Then her eyes opened, and she looked around again. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital." Katie said leaning forward from her chair she grabbed her friend's hand. "You had a seizure." She paused. "What's the last thing you remember."

"We were watching the race."

"Thank god." A sigh of relief left her. "You remember."

"Why wouldn't I remember?"

"Well, with your memory loss from the accident..." she trailed off a thought crossing her mind, "do you remember the accident?" For a moment, her heart squeezed with hope. She watched her friend take in the question and then think about it for a long few moments.

"No." Arabella's head fell back against the pillow. "My memories aren't back."

"I'm going to get a doctor." Katie said standing. "And call you brother, he'd want to know you're okay."

"You called him?" Katie paused.

"He's your emergency contact."

"Why not my dad?" Katie's knees threaten to give out from under her. 

"I'm looking for Arabella Van Dijk?" Max demanded at the nurse's station. He had gotten enough information from the ER nurse downstairs that this was the unit Arabella was on. This was where she had been taken after she collapsed at the race.

"Are you family?"

"I'm her boyfriend." Max said and the woman gave him a once-over. He had managed to change out of his race suit, but his hair was still a mess and anyone within a few feet of him could tell he desperately needed a shower.

"I'm sorry, only family is allowed back there."

"She only has a brother, who I know is back in Hoorn, who's with her now?"

"The girl that was with her when she came in." The nurse answered her words monotone as if she was already bored with the conversation.

"Katie?" The nurse didn't answer. "So, her best friend is allowed in there with her, but I'm not?"

"Katie Ormerod was cleared by the patient's family." The nurse took her seat again, turning her attention back to the computer. "Feel free to sit and wait."

"I'm her boyfriend." Max repeated his tone angry but pleading. "I have to see her."

"No, you're not." Max turned to find Lando standing a few feet away. He was still in his race suit, his hair a mess but he couldn't tell if it was helmet hair or because he had been running his hands through it. Probably both.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Max hissed. Lando just stepped forward crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know that she broke up with you after Katie told her everything, and when I went to see her she was so drunk and distraught, no wonder her brain shut down." He took another step closer, and Max could see that his eyes were puffy, he had obviously been crying.

"You're saying this is my fault?"

"I'm saying your charade is over, she knows. You're not her boyfriend anymore."

"And you are?" Lando's arms dropped to his sides and his hands balled into fists.

"That's really what you care about right now?" He spat the words at his former teammate.

"Is she okay?" Max asked turning to the nurse, who pretended she wasn't watching or listening to their conversation. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Her scans came back clear; she should be fine." The nurse said and Max let out a sigh of relief.

"You should go." Lando said as Max leaned against the top of the nurse's station.

"I'm not leaving her."

"You've hurt her enough."

"You better back off." Max stepped towards him pointing a finger at Lando's chest. "Remember what I warned you about before," he gave Lando a shove backward, "you back off, or else...."

Lando's fist connected with Max's face before he knew what was happening. Max went down to one knee grabbing his cheek his eyes blazing with anger. In an instant Max tackled Lando to the ground, his own fits connecting with Lando's face twice before security pulled him off.

"Enough." The nurse yelled as Max was hauled off down the hallway.

"You're career is over." Max yelled, pushing against security. "You hear me? I will end you."

"You don't scare me anymore, asshole." Lando called as a nurse helped him up. There was a security guard close to him, and he knew he had to leave. He regrated punching him, only because he wasn't going to be able to see Arabella anytime soon.

"Are you alright?" A nurse came around to check him, looking over his face.

"I'll be fine." Lando said accepting the help. Blood was coming from his nose and his lips, and he had to admit his head hurt. A lot. He was used to being thrown around inside a car, but he always had a helmet to protect him. This contact was something new, and it wasn't pleasant.

"I'm sorry, but you have to go." The nurse said and Lando nodded. "You might want to go down to the ER to get that looked at, but you can't stay up here."

"Can I come back?"

"Cool off, get yourself cleaned up, and then you can try coming back, but it's still up to the family if you can visit." Lando nodded and then turned and left. 

"I don't know if she'll let me." He admitted but the nurse just shrugged and handed him a cloth for his bleeding face. 

Arabella couldn't decide if she felt like an idiot as if the seizure was someone her fault, or sad because the seizure hadn't triggered her memories. For a brief moment when she woke up, she felt like herself, more so than in the past few weeks. However, she soon realized that her memories were still gone and so she had no idea where that feeling was coming from.

Katie had been beside her when she woke up but had left to call her brother. She had known her father was gone but for some reason, it had slipped her mind for a moment. The look of pure fear on her friend's face was enough for it to click in her mind that she had been wrong. It made sense why Levi was her emergency contact, at least it did in theory. There was something inside her telling her that it was still wrong, but it was the only realistic explanation that she could come up with.

Levi arrived, fear and panic on his face and it was only after he had spoken to the doctor and checked his sister himself that he let the relief hit him. When he knew his sister was going to be fine, he turned his attention to Katie demanding why she felt it was her right to fill Arabella in on everything. Why she had done it, and for a moment Arabella was shocked into silence. As if he really blamed Katie for her seizure.

"Alright, I'm right here." Arabella snapped after her brother's second verbal assault on her friend. Katie had taken them all, regret painted on her own face. "I don't blame her for telling me."

"It still wasn't her place."

"You're right." Arabella snapped. "Someone should have told me long ago." Levi turned to her.

"We didn't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me?" She gaped at him. "Levi, I throw myself off jumps as a career, did you seriously think I wouldn't want to take the risk?"

"Honestly, when you woke up I was just so happy that you were awake, that I got you back. Then you were so desperate to go see Max, it's all you wanted to do."

"Because I thought I was in love with him!" Levi flinched at the sudden rise in his sister's voice. "Did you know that he only broke up with Kelly because I woke up? That he had been dating the girl he had cheated on me with until the moment I threw my arms around him in Austria?" Levi's shock was enough to confirm to Arabella that he had no idea. Katie looked down at her shoes. "I feel like the biggest fucking idiot in the world." She leaned her head back, blinking back the tears that had threatened her eyes.

"Bells..."

"Don't Bells me." She snapped.

"I didn't know he cheated on you." He said honestly, his tone soft. "All I knew about you guys was that you broke up right around when dad died." Arabella blinked again but didn't look up at her brother. "After we lost dad, we grew apart. Which I assumed was just how it was going to be while we grieved." Katie glanced up at Levi who stepped closer to the bed, placing a hand on the pale blue blanket centimeters away from his sister's leg. "When I got the phone call about your accident, I was so terrified that I'd lost you too." He closed his eyes as a tear slid down his cheek. "I felt so alone, I had my friends of course, but you were my sister. The last part of our family. I survived losing our parents because I knew that I still had you, but then...." He trailed off his voice breaking. Arabella lifted her head and looked at him. He took a shaking deep breath.

"When it was obvious you weren't waking up anytime soon I made the decision to transport you back to Hoorn. It was my decision to keep you on life support even though many people told me it was the wrong choice. I held out hope that one day you would come back to me. That I would get a chance to have at least one member of my family walk out of that hospital." Katie hadn't realized it but it was the truth; every member of Arabella's family had gone into that hospital and one day hadn't come back out. Everyone except for Arabella.

"Levi." Arabella reached out and took her brother's hand.

"That's why I didn't tell you because I couldn't lose you. I couldn't stand the idea that telling you about those months you lost could cause something like..." he trailed off.

"Like this." Katie finished for him, and he nodded. "I am sorry." Katie offered him a somber smile. "I felt she should know, but I hadn't realized the strain it put on you."

"It's okay." Levi shrugged sniffling. "She deserved to know. I just couldn't be the one to tell her."

"I understand why you didn't." Arabella said giving her brother's hand a squeeze. "I even understand why Max didn't, although it's a pathetic excuse." Katie grunted in agreement. "I just don't understand why Lando didn't." She turned to Katie. "If he loved me in the way you told me he did."

"I don't know." Levi said which was the truth. "He warned me in Austria that it would be a bad idea."

"Not to tell me?"

"That and to let you go back to Max." Arabella leaned back again her brows furrowing. "He seemed more concerned that you went back to him than you getting your memories back. I always just assumed it was jealousy."

"Maybe he could stand to live in a world where you didn't remember him, but not in a world where you ended up with Max." Arabella shot her friend a look, but Katie only returned it.

"He still should have told me." She snapped.

"Max did threaten his career." Arabella shot Katie another look.

"Max threatened his career?" Levi asked and Katie nodded. "That's weird."

"Why?" It was Arabella who asked.

"Max wouldn't have that much control over his career, not after Lando moved back to McLaren." Levi looked between the two of them. "Lando is McLaren's golden boy. It would take a lot more than a world champion to take him down unless Max went for his seat which I don't think he would do. Red Bull's contract would be ironclad after his world championships."

"That doesn't explain why he didn't tell me."

"Maybe he was scared to make you worse, like Levi." Katie offered, and Arabella narrowed her gaze at her friend.

"Why don't you just ask him?" Arabella shifted her gaze to her brother. "He's in the waiting room."

"He is?" Katie's lips twitched upwards as Arabella's shock filled her voice.

"Do you want me to tell him to leave?" Arabella thought about the question for a few moments. Her immediate instinct was to say yes. She wanted him to go away and wanted time to figure everything out on her own, but she found herself hesitating.

Hesitating because she was curious. Curious and confused. Confused about her own feelings, about the emotions that seemed to stir at the thought of him, or the mention of his name. 

"Hear him out." Katie pressed. "It can't hurt."

"Really?" Arabella motioned to the bed, the leads, and herself.

"Well, it can't hurt anymore." Levi smiled at her tone.

"I'll see him." 

When Lando stepped into the hospital room it was just after Katie had ushered Levi out of the room and down the hall making a comment about coffee or donuts even though Levi told her he wasn't hungry or thirsty. Still, she pushed him down the hall.

Arabella was sitting up, which was a good sign, but the hospital gown and the leads that were poking out from underneath its hem brought back painful memories and emotions. It took most of his restraint not to run to her side, took willpower to remind himself that she didn't remember him the way he remembered her. He reluctantly just stood there and reminded himself over and over that she was okay and that she was alive.

"Hey." He said, giving her an awkward wave.

"Hey." Her response was equally as hesitant. 

"Are you okay?" 

"I didn't get my memories back." 

"I don't care about that, i just want to know that you're okay." She hesitated, his words surprising her. 

"I will be. I'll be here for a day for observation but then they said I could go home." He nodded looking her over, then the machines beside her. "I'm sorry, about before." 

"Why are you sorry?" He said turning his attention back to her. 

"I didn't give you a chance to explain." She looked down at the blanket over her lap, nervously picking at the hem.

"It's okay I..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Arabella asked cutting him off.

"I don't know." She closed her eyes, leaning her head back on the pillow. "Which isn't what you wanted to hear."

"No, it's not."

"I honestly, just wanted you to be happy." She looked at him.

"Even if it was with Max, after everything he did to me before my accident."

"No, that part I hated more than anything. I tried to get him to tell you, so many times I did." She remained silent. "He just kept saying that this was his second chance, that he could have gone back he would have done everything differently."

"Yeah, he told me pretty much the same thing." Lando nodded. "You could have told me that you loved me at least." Lando smiled and then let out a short laugh. It was an odd sound in her ears, but it made her smile in return. "Why are you laughing?"

"If you remembered how I did it the first time, you'd know why that's so funny." She frowned which made him giggle again before he stepped closer. "You can't tell someone how to feel, I didn't want to force emotions that were no longer there." He took a deep breath, glancing down at his shoes for a moment. "I'd rather just hold onto those months than try to force you to love me again." There was something about his words that made her incredibly sad.

"You really did love me." Lando smiled again, but it wasn't a happy one.

"I really did." For a moment they just stared at each other, Arabella looked down first and started picking at the hem of her blanket again. As if she was nervous. 

"Arabella...." 

"I think I need some space," she cut him off, "from everything and everyone that's connected to those lost months. I hope I remember them, I really do, but if I don't..."

"You need to figure out who you are without them." She nodded. "I understand."

"Thank you." She mumbled his response surprising. 

"I just have one request." He said and she raised an eyebrow as he stepped closer setting a cloth bag down on the bed.

"What's all this?"

"It's part of the request?"

"Is it?"

"I brought your favorite movie." She was about to say that no one knew her favorite movie but then he pulled Dunkirk on DVD out of the bag.

"How did you...?"

"How did I know that Dunkirk is your favorite movie? Besides the fact that it has Harry Styles in it." Her smile grew. "I know you."

"You want to watch Dunkirk with me, that's your request?" He nodded.

"I want to spend a few hours, just the length of the movie, with you. Then I'll walk away." She pondered his request for a long few moments.

"Okay." She nodded and he smiled. Turning he pulled out a laptop and set it up on the rolling table before positioning it in front of her. "What did you do to your hand?" She asked noticing the bruises that had started to form along his knuckles. 

"Oh, I uh..." He trailed off looking down at his bruised knuckles. "I punched Max, in the face." He glanced at Arabella who was just looking at him. "When he showed up here, telling the nurse that he was your boyfriend and that he deserved to see you. That he needed to." He shivered. "I couldn't stand it any longer, I snapped." 

He pressed a few buttons on the laptop and the movie started to play. Her gaze was heavy on his face as he turned back, purposefully not looking at her, as he pulled the chair closer to her bed. She cleared her throat, which made him pause, halfway in his descent into the chair, and look at her. Arabella had moved to the side of the small bed and opened the blanket out for him. He just stared at her, shocked. 

"Just for a few hours." 

It was a tight fit, he had to keep his arm draped across the back of the bed at an odd angle and Arabella had to curl in close. It felt right having her body so close to his. He had to restrain himself from wrapping his arms around her, bringing her in close. 

In some of his worst nightmares, he had curled up beside her, just like this, her body draped over his. Her heart beating beside his. Sometimes they were naked, sometimes they were clothed, sometimes they were in her bed, his bed, a hotel bed. He had even dreamed it in her hospital bed after she had woken up. Only it always ended the same; he woke up to realize that she was in a coma and still hadn't woken. Then when she did wake, she didn't want him anymore. Didn't love him anymore. 

He thought he might crack as the movie started to play and her body started to relax into his. She nestled closer to him, her cheek resting on the edge of his chest which allowed him to drape his arm closer to her, his fingers brushing against her shoulder.  

"Thank you." 

"For Dunkirk?" A short giggle escaped her which threatened to shatter him as her hand slid across his chest. His breath caught inside him. 

"No," she gave him a light shove, "for punching Max." That was not what he expected, and he didn't know what to say. Turning her face towards him, he felt a rush of emotions as her pale blue eyes looked at him through her eyelashes. "I probably would have broken my hand I've gotten so weak." 

The laugh that left him was genuine and filled the room. It also brought a genuine and broad smile across Arabella's face. It warmed his heart, so much that he instinctively brought his face closer to hers. 

There was a moment when her eyes drifted down to his lips and for a moment he thought she would kiss him. He thought, like an idiot, that this one kiss could bring her back to him. However, then she blinked and turned her attention back to the movie. 

He couldn't see her face anymore, or read the emotions that were written there. Which also meant she couldn't see his.  She couldn't see that he wasn't watching the movie at all. Wasn't paying attention in the slightest. His only attention was on her, breathing across his chest. To the slightest movement that reminded him that she was no longer in her coma. 

She also couldn't see the tear that had slid from his eye. 

Chapter Text

July 2023

The house felt different, colder as Arabella stood at the top of the stairs. There was a glow coming from the living room, the familiar one that she saw every year on the same morning for as long as she could remember. It was the same tree, the same decorations, the same stockings. Only it wasn't the same at all.

First, the sky had started to lighten outside the massive front bay windows, instead of the dark sky that was always outside when she ran down the stairs as a little girl. There were also the voices that drifted up from the living room. Her brother and her father were already awake. She had heard them get up and start to descend the stairs, but she hadn't been able to pull herself from the covers.

The house felt colder than usual, it was because her mother had died only a few days prior.

Levi and Johannes were sitting on the couch, cups in their hands. The tree was decorated the same way that they had done it in previous years, after a few bottles of whiskey. The ornaments were either barely hanging on, or so far in the tree, no one could see what they were. It was one of the last things they had done together as a family. Her mother had sat on the couch, content to watch her kids and her husband work, but had always been in charge of making sure everyone's glasses were full. The smile on her face rivaled none that Arabella had seen in he entire life. It was always of pure happiness.

The mood was more somber as they opened presents, especially when they got to the ones tagged 'from mom'. They each took turns, savoring the moment they opened the last present their mother would ever give to them.

Inside the box, Arabella's mother had left for her, was a necklace with a small charm at the end. It wasn't anything overly expensive, in fact, she was sure she had seen the same necklace in many gift shops and souvenir kiosks at the different mountains she had been to during her career. Etched into the small surface of the charm was the number 1, which confused her until she pulled the card out and read what her mother had written to her.

"What is it?" Johannes asked, genuinely curious. Arabella had a hand to her mouth, fighting back tears as she tried to read out what her mother had written her.

"She got it at my first competition, ever." Her voice shook, even her hands did as she held out the necklace to her father.

"I always knew you'd make it. I knew you would stand on the top of the podium and show the world who Arabella Van Dijk really is." Levi read peering over her shoulder as Arabella's sobs got the best of her. Johannes smiled, his own eyes filling with tears.

"I remember that." He said which made Levi and Arabella both turn to him. "Not the necklace, but at your first competition, we were both so nervous." He shook his head slightly, leaning back on the couch he held the necklace in his hands. "She told me that if there were anything she would bet all her money on it was you standing on the podium representing the Netherlands. Dominating the world." A sob broke out of Arabella's mouth, splitting the air around them.

"I..." She started but nothing, but broken sobs and mumbles came out.

"She's still your biggest fan, and she always will." Arabella nodded, clutching the piece of paper to her chest. "We believe in you, Arabella." Johannes breathed. "And I will be there cheering enough for the both of us. I promise."

Something felt different when Arabella's eyes fluttered open, and for the first time since her father's funeral, she felt it wasn't just because she was now an orphan. There was a throbbing pain behind her eyes, a side effect of the wedding the night before. The first thing her eyes focused on was the cloudy sky outside the rain-splattered patio doors. Inside, there wasn't much light, and the only sounds were the blowing wind outside the window and the television was on. It wasn't until she brought her hand up to rub her eyes, trying to calm the throbbing that she realized she wasn't lying on a pillow or a blanket.

"Morning sleepy head." Lando's voice rumbled through her since she was lying on his chest. In a flash of movement, she sat up and immediately winced.

"Sorry." She said, looking around the room. There were plates of half-eaten food on the bedside table, along with glasses of water. A room service cart was sitting near Lando's side of the bed, which was closer to the door. At the foot of the bed, the television was playing an action movie.

"It's okay." He shrugged, pulling her attention back to him. He was lounging on top of the covers in a pair of joggers and a black hoodie. Somehow Arabella had found herself underneath the covers in a pair of biker shorts and an oversized t-shirt.

"No, you came over for brunch, and I fell asleep."

"We had brunch, and you just dozed off. You haven't been asleep for long." Arabella nodded, settling back into the bed, but made sure to put some distance between them both. "It felt like you were dreaming though." Arabella didn't want to think about how he could feel her dreaming. She shrugged. "There's tear stains on my shift." He went on as if reading her thoughts.

"It was a memory, of the first Christmas without my mother." She kept her attention focused on the white duvet as she slid the fabric around her fingers. "She died not long before."

"I'm sorry, that must have been tough." Arabella shrugged, her face showing more exhaustion than emotion. Almost like there was nothing left for her to feel, she had felt it all and had decided to not let herself feel anymore. It pained Lando to see her that way.

"It was a long time ago." The ache in his chest grew, all he wanted was to reach out and touch her. Brush a hand along her arm, but he held back. "Losing my father is just bringing up memories of losing my mother I guess." Lando remained silent, not knowing what to say.

"I imagine there would be some similar feelings." Arabella sat up further in bed, shifting herself further away from him.

"My mother was very sudden, one day we were all decorating the Christmas tree and the next we were planning her funeral." Her words made Lando flinch, not enough that Arabella noticed, but enough that made the ache in Lando's chest almost unbearable. "My father was sick for a long time, for most of it he had no idea who we were anymore. I lost him a long time ago, far before he died." Lando remained silent. "Visiting him just got harder and harder until I found myself always having an excuse not to come home. I even stopped visiting Levi because I hated visiting our father."

"You had to do what's best for you."

"I hated it so much," she went on, as if not hearing what Lando said at all, "that I prayed he'd go faster, just so I didn't have to go at all anymore." She shook her head, her voice almost breaking. "It was so painful for me, that I decided it would be better for everyone if he would just..." Her voice cracked, tears started to slide down her face and the ache in Lando's chest turned into full-on breaking. "What kind of daughter thinks that?" She sat up wrapping her arms around her knees. "What kind of daughter wishes that her father would just hurry up and die so she wouldn't have to visit him anymore?"

Arabella's sobs picked away at Lando's heart, piece by piece. Reaching forward he brushed his fingers along her back, slowly splaying his fingers and sliding them across her back. He felt her move underneath his touch, leaning into it. He knew there was nothing he could say, no words in the world that could comfort her in the way she needed, in the way he wanted to. This was grief, it was consuming and horrifying and would plague her dreams. Turn her brightest memories into her worst nightmares. The only thing he could do was be there for her.

"Come here." He said finally, putting the lightest amount of pressure on her back to pull her closer to him. Slowly she moved, first leaning into him, and then she turned her body allowing him to pull her against him. To wrap his arms around her, bring her into his chest.

He held her there for a long time, cradling her to his chest, running a hand along her hair, and listening whenever she felt like talking. He knew there was no comfort in his words, but he still gave them, but he could feel her relax into him and knew that she was finding comfort within his arms. And that was all he wanted to give her.

Time passed and her crying slowed before coming to a stop, but she never pushed away from him. Never slid back over to her side of the bed. He didn't mind, not in the slightest. Especially when he snuck a peak at her and realized that she had drifted off to sleep. Sitting back, he tried his best to remain still while he watched tv. The whole time hoping that she could find a deep and nightmare-free sleep with him.

He prayed he could do that for her because for her he would do almost anything.  

August 2023 - Dutch Grand Prix 

She was avoiding him, and she knew it. She knew he knew it too. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. To accept one of the invitations or veiled proposals, he had been sending her way. The first one she had said yes, but then she came up with an excuse that involved snowboarding. Which was half true; she had been exhausted from training and could use the rest day. Lando had offered to meet her somewhere in the middle, but she just blew him off again. It pained her, but there was something inside her that wasn’t ready, and she wasn’t 100% sure she could blame it on her father anymore.

The next time she typed out a ‘yes’ but then deleted it, sending another excuse. Till finally the last time she didn’t even respond at all. Instead, she just turned her phone on silent and crawled into bed. After a restless sleep, brought on by the nagging in her stomach, she finally got up and headed to the Red Bull training facilities where, thankfully, she had access to the gym 24 hours a day.

By the time she returned to her townhouse, which she rented with a few other athletes, her legs were practically noodles. Even climbing the stairs to the front door was exhausting. As she slid the key into the lock she couldn’t decide if she had the strength to have a shower, or if she should just find some food and head to bed with the hope that the exhaustion in her muscles would finally give her a good night’s sleep. Her body was caked in sweat, and she hadn’t bothered with the showers at the facilities since the only clothes she had with her were the spandex shorts and sports bra she had put on to go to the gym.

The best part was the nagging in her gut was gone, replaced with a growling hunger. That combined with the exhaustion in her bones; there was no room for boys. Especially one as amazing as Lando Norris.

One of her roommates found her not long after she had gotten home. He side-stepped into the kitchen with a curious look on his face. As if he wasn’t sure what was making all the noise. When he beheld her, sitting on the counter a piece of toast in one hand and the other was putting Greek yogurt into a blender with the other he just laughed.

“What?” She asked, turning towards him, her mouth full of half-eaten toast.

“Nothing, it’s just,” Seb motioned to her sitting on the counter.

“I just killed my legs at the gym, it was either this or make my smoothie on the floor.” She bit the toast to keep it in her mouth then used both hands to put the Greek yogurt lid back on and grab the bag filled with frozen fruit.

“This early?” He asked and she just shrugged, not looking at him. “You’re still ignoring him aren’t you?” Her head snapped back towards him, and he laughed again. Stepping into the kitchen he set his bag down on the table by the window and sat down. He was dressed like he was ready to head to the gym, although he looked smart enough to bring a spare set of clothes with him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

“Are you kidding?” He shook his head laughing again. “The walls in this house aren’t as thick as everyone thinks they are.” She shook her head putting the lid on the blender, she paused for a moment looking at him over her shoulder with her finger poised over the button.

“Are they not?” Seb laughed as she raised her eyebrows before pressing the button on the blender. The noise filled the kitchen, and if Seb was right, would have filled most of the house. Thankfully it was a quick blender and soon enough it was quieted. “I don’t know how to say yes to him.” She admitted taking the blender off the base and drinking straight out of it. Seb chuckled.

“It’s easy, just type Y-E-S.” She shot him a look between gulps. “It’s been long enough since your father passed.”

“It’s not about my father.” She admitted setting the blender down she hopped off the counter with a wince and started cleaning up after herself.

“Ah, the ex-boyfriend then?” Her pause, while walking to the fridge, was enough to confirm that Seb had been right.

“It’s just…” she started closing the fridge, “I understand putting your career first, I mean we all do.” She motioned to the house around them. “He just always put his career before mine.”

“I can get behind that.” She paused again.

“No, I know it’s just…” She trailed off trying to find the right words. “When he won, we celebrated together, and for that short time, I could take a step back and support him, put him first.” She shook her head. “But he never could.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I won the world title in 2023.”

“You mean when you won both titles in 2023?” Arabella smiled, shaking her head.

“Yes, when I won both titles in 2023,” she smiled, “I was ecstatic, I flew home to tell my father, but it wasn’t a good day, so I flew to the next person I wanted to celebrate with.” Seb nodded, understanding that she meant Max. “It was race weekend in Miami, so I didn’t tell him right away. I assumed he knew since I followed along with his career so why shouldn’t he follow along with mine?” Another nod from Seb.

There was a knock at the door and they both looked at each other expecting it to be for the others, but they both shook their head to answer the silent question. Then they both shrugged, and she went on.

“He had no idea, after the race we went out to celebrate yet another win of his, and when someone congratulated me on my own win, he was so surprised. Then he was pissed I didn’t tell him, we fought about it to the point where I left.” She glanced down at her smoothie. “I celebrated my accomplishments with a bottle of champagne on the beach in Miami, by myself.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” He demanded, and she just shrugged, finishing off her smoothie she rinsed the blender out.

Seb was about to open his mouth to speak again, but he was cut off by another knock and then the sound of swearing and loud footsteps on the stairs. Another one of their roommates, Benny, came barreling into the kitchen from the stairs along the side of the kitchen that led into the basement, swearing in German.

“Which one of you fuckers is running a blender and not answering the fucking door at 6 in the morning?”

“Neither one of us is expecting anyone.” Seb shrugged. “I assumed it was a delivery man and would just leave whatever it was at the door." Benny swore in Germany before stalking through the kitchen in nothing but his underwear. “Now that you’re up do you want to come to the gym with me?” Another swear in German came from the living room, along with some more German which made both Seb and Arabella burst out laughing.

There was talking at the door before he reappeared. “It’s for you, Arabella.” He grabbed an apple from a bowl on the table and took a bite, looking pleased with himself.

“For me?” She pointed at her own chest. Benny just nodded. “Who the hell is coming here at this hour.” He shrugged.

“Maybe you should go ask him.” Benny smiled. “Better yet, next time answer the door before it wakes me up. Maybe then your boyfriend wouldn’t find a naked man at your house.”

“I don’t have a….” She paused as Seb burst out laughing. “No.” Benny giggled as Arabella ran from the kitchen towards the front door. Yanking it open, she found Lando standing there leaning up against the railing.

“That’s better.” He said smiling at her. As his eyes took her in, wearing practically nothing, she felt more naked than she had in her entire life. “I just came…” he trailed off shaking his head and turning his eyes away from her.

“He’s my roommate.” She said quickly, too desperately. “Benny, he’s my roommate.”

“Roommate?” Lando asked, his eyes not quite believing her.

“Yes.” She nodded and swallowed. “Want to come in?” She stepped aside. Lando looked hesitant but he nodded. Stepping into the small entryway. As they stepped into the living room, both Seb and Benny were standing in the archway leading into the kitchen. Arabella narrowed her eyes at them. “That’s Seb and Ben, they’re both Red Bull snowboarders like me.”

“Sorry for the appearance.” Benny said motioning to his still half-naked self.

“It’s alright.” Lando said, turning back to Arabella.

“See, roommate.” She smiled, awkwardly.

“I’m also a roommate.” Seb said giving him a wave. “Seb.”

“Nice to meet you both.”

“What the hell is all the commotion about?” A third voice cut in and Arabella shook her head as Vlad poked his head out of the kitchen. Thankfully he was wearing sweats, he had been kind enough to put them on since Arabella knew he slept naked most of the time.

“Is everyone home right now?” Arabella demanded.

“No, Melissa’s not.” Benny said. Lando looked relieved to finally hear a female’s name, it made Seb and Benny glance at each other and smile.

“Lando this is Vlad.”

“How many people live here?” Lando asked raising his eyebrows.

“There’s six of us total.” Arabella said turning to him. “But we’re not usually all here at the same time, especially this time of year. We rent this place, together, because it’s close to the training facilities.” Lando nodded.

“Hey, isn’t it race weekend?” Benny asked, making Arabella shoot him a look. “Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, at the track?”

“He’s right.” Arabella said turning back to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I…” He started, looking between the people in the room.

“Guys, do you mind?” She asked and the three of them turned and left the room, into the kitchen. It was Seb who tapped the wall as he went in giving her a wink, which made her flip him off. He chuckled but joined the rest in the kitchen. “Sorry about them, their nosey nelly’s.”

“I didn’t realize you had roommates, when he answered the door I thought…” He trailed off shaking his head.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that if I would have known you were coming…”

“Well, you’d have to start answering your phone for that to happen.” She looked down, embarrassed to be so called out.

“I…” She trailed off taking a few steps away. “I’m sorry about that, I just….” She shook her head. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I wanted to see you.”

“So, you left the race to come here?”

“It’s not that far?”

“A few hours at least.” He shrugged. “Don’t you have commitments?”

“Not till later.”

“I…”

“I wanted you to come to the race this weekend, I wanted to spend more time with you.” He cocked his head to the side when he looked at her as if she was something he was studying. As if he was trying to read the thoughts that were going on in her head.

“I’m busy this weekend.”

“You are not!” Someone called from the kitchen, and she groaned. Lando just smiled.

“What’s stopping you?” He asked taking a few steps towards her, his tone soft.

“I…” She struggled to find the words.

“If it’s pressure, I promise you there is none from me. I just want to spend time with you.”

“That sounds like a date.”

“If you’re ready for a date, I’ll take you on a date.”

“Oh, she’s ready for a date!” Someone called from the kitchen then there were some comments of agreement.

“Thank you!” She called back and shook her head. “I’m sorry about them.”

“It’s okay.” Lando smiled. “I don’t mind if people know how crazy I am about you, how badly I want to go on a date with you. How badly I wanted to kiss you at the wedding, then again the next day. I’ve wanted to kiss you, since the first time I did in Austria.” Arabella just stared at him. “Come with me,” he said taking a step forward, “come spend the weekend with me.”

“What about Max.” A loud groan came from the kitchen. Lando laughed.

“Don’t worry about him.” Lando said taking another step towards her, he brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face. “He doesn’t have the right to be angry, seeing is how he treated you. Let me treat you the way you deserve to be.” He slid a thumb along her cheek.

“I…”

“For fuck’s sake Bells if you don’t say yes, I will!” That one was Vlad; she could tell by his thick accent. 

Chapter Text

August 2024

It didn’t take long for Arabella to figure out what her next steps were. After saying goodbye to Lando at the hospital and accompanying her brother home to Hoorn, she made the decision to head back to the townhouse she had lived in, the last place that she remembered calling home. It took some time to get her car out of storage and make sure that the insurance, registration, and everything else was in order.

Her brother helped, although reluctantly. Mostly by watching and pointing, sometimes he’d give an explanation as to what she had found among the boxes in the storage locker, other times he just shrugged claiming he had no idea. It was a weird feeling, going through things that she recognized as her own, next to things she had no idea where they had come from.

After packing up a few things into the back of her SUV, and a final call to Dr. Andrews for her brother’s sake, she was on the road. All alone. And for the first time since Arabella woke up from her coma, she felt completely and truly alone. However, she wasn’t in a way that made her feel lonely or sad, it actually made her feel quite free. She finally felt in control. Control of the car, the destination. She could stop at as many small towns as she wanted or play whatever music she wanted. She controlled everything, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, she felt like she had control over her life as well.

It felt amazing.

As she pulled up to the townhouse, she hadn’t known what to expect. Even though everyone had kept most of their things there, they didn’t stay there 365 days out of the year. All of them had other arrangements that were closer to family, friends, or just their favorite mountain or training course. This was just the home that Red Bull had allowed them to rent out to make it easier for them to train with Red Bull coaches, and trainers and get access to whatever else they might need as pro athletes.

She parked her SUV on the street since both pads in front of the two-car garage were taken. Just sitting there, she could practically smell the inside of the garage. There was no room for cars since it was filled with snowboards, equipment for tuning, spare parts pretty much everything any of them had as far as equipment was concerned. There was even a set of wooden jumps that Seb had made to put in the backyard.

Then there were the sounds. As her eyes shifted towards the large bay windows along the front of the house that looked into the living room, she could practically hear all the noises that had gone along with living with five roommates. Four of which were boys. There was the stomping and yelling of grown men, but also the bickering of children as they played each other in video games or were fighting over the last of the bacon at breakfast.

As she watched the windows, she caught someone walking past, probably around from the stairs. He was tall, broad-shouldered, but that could be any one of them. They walked around to where she remembered the couch being, reaching over he disappeared from her view only to reappear a few moments later. Stepping out of the car, she walked around to the back and opened the hatch reaching for the first bag she found, and throwing it over her shoulder.

“Bells?” Someone called and she turned from the back of the car to see Seb standing in the doorway.

“No fucking way.” Another voice came and another head poked out of the doorway pushing Seb out onto the front step. “Benny!” Vlad yelled back into the house. “Get out here.”

It wasn’t until the heavy steps and the swearing in German came from inside the house that made her feel like she had come home. When Benny appeared in the doorway his face was angry, as it usually is, but then a wave of confusion and shock, and then he was barreling out of the door, knocking over Seb and Vlad in the process.

“Bells!” He bellowed coming towards her. When he reached it he grabbed her, spinning her around in his arms making her drop the bag that she had picked up. Seb and Vlad were there when he set her down, and they both took turns giving her massive bear hugs.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Seb asked once he had let go of her.

“I needed to come back to my roots.” She said truthfully.

“Is it the memory thing?” Vlad asked, motioning to his own brain. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Dimitri told us.” Seb said.

“Yes.” She shot a look at Vlad. “It’s the memory thing. The last thing I remember before my accident is my father’s funeral.”

“Ah, so you have some blanks that need to be filled.” Benny said rubbing his palms together. The rest of them raised their eyebrows at him. “That was not meant to sound so sexual.” Then they all burst into laughter.

“That’s P1 Lando.” His engineer said into his earpiece as he took the car along his cool-down lap. “Leclerc P2 and Sainz P3.” The emotions that went through him were different than those at previous races. “Congrats buddy.”

“Good race boys.” He said, giving a wave to the grandstands as he pulled the car along the main part of the circuit. A part of him knew they weren’t cheering for him, but for the pair of Ferraris that got on the podium in Ferrari’s home country of Italy. “Where did Max finish?”

“He retired.” His engineer said the excitement in his voice growing. “You took the lead in the driver's championship.”

“Fuck yeah!” He screamed in excitement. His hands gripped his own helmet as if he could somehow whip the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. It felt amazing, every exhausted muscle in his body suddenly ached just a little less. He almost felt like he could run a marathon. It was exhilarating. One of the greatest feelings in the world.

One of them.

He pulled his car up to the P1 spot in the pit lane and jumped out of his car. Fist pumping the air and grabbing the number one sign, pointing to it, and lifting it in the air. There was a section of the engineers that was stained papaya orange, all cheering and chanting his name. Lando ran over and threw himself into their arms, letting them hoist him up.

His hair was sweaty, and a mess on top of his head. His helmet left marks on his cheeks from being so tight on his head. When he pulled it off, he looked around realizing among the cheering and the screaming there was still something missing. Despite his own feelings and the accomplishment, he had just made, he still found his thoughts traveling back to one person.

“She’s not here mate.” A man said, standing near the front of the mob. He was dressed in a golf shirt and still had his headset on around his neck.

“I know.” Lando said smiling as he gave his engineer a fist pump. No matter how amazing his win felt, through the champagne showers and even into the celebrations after they left the track. He still felt like there was something missing.

Or someone.

Turns out that getting back to a semi-normal routine was easier than Arabella had expected. She had given herself one night. One night to sit around with her roommates and reminisce about the past. They told her about everything that happened while she was in a coma, how their seasons went who won and who lost. New competitors on the circuit. However, she wouldn’t let them fill in any of the blanks of her missing six months. Nothing that she did, or who she was. When it did come up, she explained what had happened between her, Max, and Lando the last time she had seen them. The seizure and how she had decided that it was time for her to move on.

So, after that one night, they did as she asked and never brought up who she was during those missing months, instead they just talked about it as if she had gone on vacation. Just a character who was missing from the stories, but never explained why.

One morning, after over a week of having Arabella back home, Seb and Vlad found themselves drawn to the kitchen by the smell of bacon and waffles. They both poked their heads into the kitchen to find Arabella sitting on the counter with a cup of coffee in her hands. Both Seb and Vlad raised their eyebrows exchanging looks of skepticism.

“Smells good.” Vlad said his tone matching the skepticism on his face.

“You’re just going to have to wait like everyone else.” Benny said coming in from the pantry. Both Seb and Vlad let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank god.” Vlad set stepping into the kitchen and leaning against the door frame. “I was worried it was Bells cooking.” She shot them both a look, but Benny just laughed.

“You can’t deny you are a terrible cook.” Seb said helping himself to come coffee.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cook.” Katie said from her spot at the kitchen table. Her voice startled Vlad who spun towards her placing a hand on his chest. She just gave him a little wave. “Sorry.” She gave a weak smile.

“When did you get here?” Vlad asked.

“I don’t know, an hour ago?” She shrugged.

“I can cook some things.” Arabella countered picking a berry out of a bowl beside where Benny was working. Katie giggled as the boys looks as she brought her own cup to her lips.

“Please.” Vlad said grabbing a cup he pulled the carafe out to see that there was nothing left. He shot a look at Seb who had been the last one to grab a cup full. “The amount of times we’ve had to leave to get dinner because this kitchen has been filled with smoke.”

“That was one time.” Arabella exclaimed and the boys started laughing.

“Wait,” Katie looked between everyone, “that actually happened?”

“One time.”

“It happened more than once.” Benny countered and she shot him a look. “But there was only one time that we actually had to leave.” Arabella pointed to Benny and made sure that everyone had heard him. “Which is also why she’s not allowed to cook Sunday brunch.”

“I thought that was a tradition in this house?” Katie asked and they all nodded.

“Yes, but when it’s Bells turn she has to take us out for Brunch instead.”

“Every time?” Katie asked.

“Sometimes they’ll let me heat up something from frozen.”

“With supervision.” Benny added, leaning back from the stove so that Katie could see him. “Always with supervision.” Arabella shot him a look, but he turned his attention back to the stove to avoid it.

“What are you doing here this early anyways?” Vlad asked after watching the coffee machine make a fresh pot. It was only halfway done, but he pulled the carafe out and poured himself a cup anyways. Katie glanced at Arabella who had stolen some more berries from Benny’s bowl even after he had swatted her hand away. “I know Benny’s cooking is good, but it’s not that good.”

“We’re going snowboarding.” Katie said and Vlad furrowed his brows. The boys all looked around the room at each other.

“Who’s we?” It was Vlad who asked. “Is Jesse here?”

“No…” Katie said looking at Arabella and furrowing her brows.

“Oh, yeah.” Arabella said catching her look. “We’re going snowboarding.” Her tone was nonchalant and around her, the entire kitchen went silent. Even the sizzling on the stove seemed to quiet. Every one of them turned to Arabella, their eyebrows raised and shock on their faces.

“You?” Seb asked, pointing towards her. She nodded.

“You’re going…”

“Snowboarding.” She finished for Vlad. “That’s the plan yes.”

“But…” Benny started looking at his other roommates for help, even to Katie. “But are you allowed?”

“Are you asking if I’ve been medically cleared? Yes.”

“Even after the…”

“The seizure? Yes.” She shrugged, picking another berry while Benny was distracted.

“Are you sure?” Seb asked and she just shrugged.

“Aren’t you scared?” Vlad asked, and it was everyone’s turn to turn towards him. They each were competitive snowboarders; their job was to push their bodies to the limit and tempt fear every day. However, Vlad was the one among them that never showed his fear. Never talked about it, and if it was brought up around him he would just brush it off with some comment about how ‘fear is weakness’. Vlad wasn’t scared of anything, but he looked scared now.

“Terrified.” Arabella admitted, swallowing. “But I think that’s exactly why I have to do it.”

September 2024

“Did you have a chance to look over the data last night?” His performance coach said as they sat down for coffee the morning before qualifying in Italy. Lando, who sat across from him, wasn’t paying attention instead he was focused on his phone. “Lando?” His thumb moved to scroll up, and his other hand grabbed a berry from the bowl in front of him and brought it to his lips. “Lando, are you even listening to me?”

Silence. The performance coach rolled his eyes and leaned forward, pushing the phone down from where it sat obstructing his view of the driver’s face. “Lando?”

“Yes?” It was his coach's turn to stay silent. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I was asking you about the strategies, did you have a chance to go over the data that was compiled from the practice laps?”

“Oh yeah, I did that last night.” Lando said turning back to his phone. “Have you seen this?” He said after a beat. His coach raised his eyebrows.

“Seen what?” In response, Lando just handed him his phone. “Come on mate.”

“It just popped up; I swear.” He said lifting his hands up in defense.

“Dutch snowboarding legend makes her way back onto the slopes after her accident.” His coach read the title. “You’ve got to get over this.”

“I don’t have to do anything.” Lando said taking his phone back. “I’m waiting for her memories to come back.”

“And what if they never do?” Lando flinched. “She made her decision; you have to respect it.”

“I am.”

“Are you?” His performance coach’s voice had risen slightly, so he brought it back down. “She needs space to figure out who she is, but she also told you to go out and live your life.” Lando didn’t say anything. “From where I’m sitting, you’re not doing a whole lot of that.”

“I’m in the lead for the driver’s championship.” He countered and his coach just sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“How many times a day do you look her up.” He motioned to Lando’s phone with his chin. “You look for her after every win, you won’t even look at anyone else even though she told you to move on.”

“This is my life, and I’m allowed to live in any way I want.” His coach held his hands up in the defense. “For the record, she didn’t tell me to move on.”

“You can’t talk your way out of this one, mate.” He countered. “You told me everything when you got back to the hotel, and then you cried for three hours.” Lando shot him a look. “You told me that when the movie was over, she got out of bed to hug you, kissed you on the cheek and made you promise not to wait for her.” Lando had no words. “Promise me, you’ll at least try.”

“Fine.” Lando narrowed his eyes at him. “I promise.” Reaching forward his coach grabbed his phone before he could go back on it.

“We’re focusing on qualifying.” Lando rolled his eyes but didn’t object.

Her entire body burned, every muscle, cell, and fiber was screaming at her to stop. To take a break. It wasn’t until her lungs demanded she take a break and her throat a sip of water did she finally stop and dropped to the ground beside the exercise bike and grab her water bottle. The wall behind her was cold on her sweat-covered skin that poked out from her sports bra and shorts.

Getting back on the slopes had been easy, she had managed it the day Katie had come over and all her roommates insisted on coming and making bets on how far down she’d make it her first time.

Vlad bet she wouldn’t even get off the lift.

The hard part was pushing herself past the green runs, past the simple back and forth that she had been doing since she was a kid. When she got up some speed, got a little wobble, or got a little light going over a hump, she froze. The fear took over, radiating from the pit in her stomach and she bailed. Before she could stop herself she had turned her board and put on the brakes, fall to her knees and almost vomit into the snow. Thankfully she never actually vomited, since it was August, and all the snow was fake it would be harder to clean up.

It was probably why she had pushed herself to go again, and again. After the first time, Katie came a few times, then Seb, but then she started not telling them when she was coming. Opted to be all alone with her board and a bunch of synthetic snow. While alone was the first time that she actually vomited, although thankfully it was into a garbage can and not into the snow.

“Thought I’d find you back here.” A voice said and she looked up from where she sat to find Dimitri towering over her. Wearing his usual joggers and t-shirt she was sure he ordered a size too small. Red Bull was printed across his chest.

“Who told you I was here?”

“No one.” She raised an eyebrow. “Adam.” She smiled; the coffee guy.

“Of course.” She shook her head. “And you just happened to be at the gym this early in the morning?”

“You forget I work here.” He said lowering himself to sit beside her. “What’s going on? I heard you were out on the slopes again?”

“I was.”

“How was that.” She shrugged. “Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Well, I’m curious why you didn’t call me.” He went on as if her mood didn’t bother him in the slightest. “Seeing is I’m your coach and all.”

“Not anymore.” She said, her tone low. “I’m not competing, and you’d make a shit life coach.”

“Ouch.” He acted wounded placing a hand to his heart. “I think I’d be a fantastic life coach?” She shot him a look and he laughed. She turned back forward, resting her head on the wall, and waited a few moments before she spoke.

“I’m weak.” She said finally, her voice low.

“Well, no shit, you’ve been in a coma.” She gave him a shove. They both chuckled.

“I’m scared.” She said once it had gone silent again.

“That’s quite normal, you took some time off, and doing slopestyle and big air is scary…”

“No, you don’t understand.” She cut him off. “I’m terrified of everything.” Arabella turned her face to him, tears starting to well in her grey-blue eyes. “I can’t get through a run without almost puking. Every time I wobble or get light, I…” Her voice broke and she took a moment. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Do you want to do it?” He asked and she just looked at him for a moment.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want to compete again?” Her brows furrowed. “You had an amazing career, you accomplished everything you wanted to. No one would blame you for announcing your official retirement now.”

“I…”

“You are Arabella Van Dijk, four-time world champion and two-time Olympic gold medalist.” She blinked. “That’s already impressive. You don’t have to come back after your accident.” Dimitri smiled, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. “The only way you come back, the only way you’ll be able to make it back to competition is if you truly want too.”

“What would my parents say?”

“I think he’d be proud if you just strapped a snowboard on again, which you already did.” She nodded. “We can do it; I can get you back. It’ll be hard and scary, but we can do this. You just have to decide you want to do it.” She swallowed.

“I want to do it.” She said, which scared her half to death to say out loud, but it also felt incredibly good. Incredibly right.

“Alright, we’ll start tomorrow. You need to rest after whatever this was.” He motioned to her and the bike.

“Wait, just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“Don’t you have other athletes, don’t you have to get reassigned to me?” She was confused. “I have to reregister as a Red Bull athlete, there are things that need to be done.”

“You were never dropped as a Red Bull athlete.” Dimitri said simply.

“What?”

“I never dropped you as an athlete.” That didn’t make any sense, he would have had too after her accident. Or after she had been in a coma for a month, maybe he could have pushed it off till she had been in a coma for three. It didn’t make sense to her.

“I’m confused.”

“I was waiting for you.”

“Waiting for me?” She pointed at her own chest. He nodded.

“I knew you’d come back.” He said standing up holding out a hand to help her. She took it. “I convinced them to keep you, and I was right.”

“What about all that shit about it being my choice?” She pointed to where they had just stood up from.

“It was all true.” Her arm dropped. “I couldn’t make the choice for you, even though I knew what you’d chose.” Her mouth dropped open. “Besides, I have a bet to win."

"A bet?" He nodded.

"That you'll win six world titles." Something in her stomach dropped to her shoes.

"Who took that bet?"

"Lando." He smiled, there was something behind that smile that made her look away. "He put 2000 that you'd win six before he won the world title."

Lando won, again.

His lead in the driver’s title race had expanded, but not by much since Max had come in second. It was still something worth celebrating, and his performance coach demanded they celebrate. All the way to a bar just down from their hotel. It was mostly F1 staff that were there, some other drivers, engineers, media, and even some of the photographers and media people from the track who were taking the night off before they all started the trek to Singapore.

“Come on this is a special occasion.” His coach urged, pushing the drink towards him.

“I’m okay.” Lando said, smiling. “It’s not the way I want to celebrate.”

“Oh really?” His coach smiled looking around the bar for a moment. “She’s been eyeing you up all weekend.”

“No.” Lando said quickly, not even looking in the direction that his coach had motioned.

“Come on.”

“No.” His coach narrowed his eyes.

“It’s called a rebound.”

“I’m not ready.”

“Then how about just a conversation?”

“I….” He started, but there was a part of him, a very small part of him that was making him pause. Make him consider it. “I don’t know.”

“You’ll never know until you try.” He said, placing a hand on Lando’s shoulder. “This is a good thing.”

“I never said I was going to do it yet.”

“I know.” He smiled, wickedly. “But thank god for confident women.”

“What…?” He started but his coach just smiled and walked off into the crowd.

“That was quite a race.” A female voice said coming to stand in the spot Lando’s coach had just vacated. She was pretty, with long brown hair, slim features, and massive brown eyes. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Can I buy you a drink to celebrate?” Over her shoulder, his coach, along with a few other McLaren staff were giving him the thumbs up. He turned his attention back to her.

“Sure.” He said letting out a breath. “I’m Lando.”

“I know.” She said with a little giggle, which he had to admit was cute. “I’m Louisa.”

Chapter Text

August 2023 – Dutch Grand Prix

Christian Horner was a pretty easy-going guy. As long as Max Verstappen was ahead in the driver’s championship and the team was leading in the constructor’s race. Which pretty much just meant that as long as everyone around him was performing their best, he was happy. Or in simpler terms, that all of his investments were paying off. He had no issue moving things around, as if everyone around him; drivers, engineers, even assistants, and the media team were pawns in his hunt for glory and fame.

In his never-ending game against Toto Wolff and Mercedes.

Which was why as Lando pulled up to the track, late to the entire weekend, he took a moment to take a deep breath and remind himself why he was late. That and make up his mind as to if it was worth it or not. Depending on the consequences that awaited him within the paddock.

Since it was the Dutch Grand Prix and Max’s home race, everyone’s eyes were on him. Hardly anyone noticed that Lando’s name had been replaced with the reserve drivers for free practice one and two, even if reserve drivers in Red Bull weren’t as common as in other teams. When their paths finally crossed, after Lando had been trying his best to avoid the team principal before he could get in the car and make up for his tardiness with his driving, he realized that even Christian had hardly noticed Lando’s absence. His only comment was that his times needed to improve if he was to take his spot on the front row.

Behind Max Verstappen of course.

No matter how badly Lando wanted a win, and wanted the driver's title as much as any other driver on the grid, he would always have to hold himself back. Focusing on defending his teammate instead of winning.

To everyone’s disappointment, Red Bull did not have a lock on the front row. Max qualified second, behind Carlos Sainz which left Lando on the second row, behind his teammate in third. Christian Horner brushed off the minor loss as a fluke within the Ferrari team, and since Leclerc’s teammate had only managed ninth, the chances of Carlos winning were minuscule.

However, Lando was still mentioned in the debrief about how he could have done better. Fought harder to earn a spot on that front row. Nothing was mentioned about Max, about how he could have worked harder to get in front of the Ferrari. Even if the data was obviously showing that even Lando’s line had been faster in places than Max’s.

No, there was never anything but praise for the golden boy.

With all the attention on Max, few noticed Lando breeze through his debrief and meetings with his strategies and engineers. Those that did, either didn’t care or knew that whatever it was, it was important enough to take him away early. Christian Horner, thankfully, was not one of them.

However, Max was. He noticed and watched as his teammate all but bolted to his car and peeled out of the parking lot at a speed that if it had been anyone other than an F1 driver behind the wheel would have been extremely dangerous.

Lando arrived back at the hotel early enough that there weren’t a lot of fans outside the gates hoping to catch a glimpse of the drivers, nor was a lot of the people inside scanning for their arrival either. For the most part, his steps went unnoticed as he made his way through the lobby and up towards his hotel room.

He usually didn’t rush through public spaces hoping to be unseen. He normally loved speaking to his fans, allowing their screams to fuel his confidence. Remind him why he races, and who he truly races for. However, after the Dutch qualifying, he found the weight of being Max’s teammate heavier than it normally was and all he wanted was to get into the seclusion of his hotel room. To hide from the constant expectations and prying eyes that tried to see into his life. It was a part of the job that he wasn’t a fan of and a part that had only gotten worse when he moved to Red Bull. He always looked at it like it was just a negative aspect of the job that could never outweigh the positive. At least, he never thought it would.

However, as he reached his hotel door he felt the weight already lifting from his shoulders. Even just as he slid the key over the reader, and the latch slid open for him, his body not yet over the threshold, he felt his shoulders roll back, his posture straightened as if there was something inside that was working to remove the weight from his shoulders.

Something that had also made him late, for the entire weekend, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt was one hundred percent worth it.

The weight that had been pressing on his shoulder and the anxieties that had been gripping around his heart, both disappeared as Lando stepped across the threshold. The last negative feelings dissipated as his eyes landed on her.

He spied her through the open patio doors, through the billowing white curtains, sitting on the balcony in one of the lounge chairs with a book propped on her bent knees. The afternoon breeze was playing with her unbound dirty-blond hair, and a blanket was wrapped loosely around her legs as if she brought it out but got too warm in the afternoon sun. Beside her was a small table, a laptop open, and playing one of the post-qualifying shows.

She didn’t notice him as he stepped further into the room, as he silently placed his bag on the floor and moved closer to the open patio doors. She was wearing one of his brand shirts, one from his gaming brand quadrant. A smile played on his lips as he thought about how much money and time he and his team had spent trying to figure out models and branding, and here was Arabella doing a better job than they had ever managed. Just lounging in the afternoon sun.

He got even closer, letting the sight of her sink into him. Letting his mind accept that this was his reality, even if a part of him drank in every detail just in case this was a dream, and that at any moment it could be over. But this wasn’t a dream, she was here, sitting on his patio this time, not on the patio of his teammate. Some of his favorite memories had been their conversations on dark patios while Max slept inside.

This time she was on his patio, and when she grew tired, she would be retreating into his room. Hopefully into his bed. Although he would not pressure her, even if when he offered to get her, her own room she had said staying with him would be fine.

Suddenly he was no longer Lando Norris driver for Red Bull racing, but instead, he was just Lando a man who had fallen for her during those conversations on dark patios and was now madly in love with her. A feeling he wanted nothing more to express, but that he couldn’t. Not out of fear of rejection, at least not entirely, instead, it was waiting for her to be ready to reciprocate his feelings. He knew she felt the same, it was just about her realizing it and not being scared to accept them. Accept that he would treat her the way she deserved to be treated, and nothing like how Lando’s teammate had treated her.

There was a small part of him that was terrified she’d reject him, reject her own feelings. That she didn’t know how to accept them, how to let him love her. It was one of the reasons he had driven to her house that morning. Although, he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would love her from whatever distance she allowed him to.

Even if she didn’t allow him to at all.

Arabella heard the light beep and click from the door and her entire body seemed to tense. She felt the shift in the air around her, around the room, as he stepped into the hotel room. Her skin started to tingle as she felt his eyes find her, his steps near silent as he crept towards her. She was completely aware that he was watching her, his eyes washing over her as if watching her read was exactly why he entered the room. Somehow her eyes were still scanning the page in front of her, although she only had a vague awareness of what was happening with the characters on the page.

As her fingertips went to turn the page, she heard the shift of movement. The groan of his body weight leaning against the doorframe. Leaning forward she turned, letting her hair fall around her shoulder. Lando was smiling at her, emotion swirling in his blue eyes as she returned his smile.

“How did it go?” She asked, thankful that her voice was even and didn’t reveal how quickly her heart was racing. Lando pushed off the door and stepped onto the balcony. The closer he got, the more her skin started to tingle with anticipation, the air around her getting thick. Nothing had happened between them since the last time he kissed her, but being this close to him, being alone with him; it threatened to set her senses on fire.

“You weren’t watching?” He motioned to the laptop set up. A guilty smile played on her lips as she turned and shut the laptop silencing the post-qualifying show that had been playing.

“I was,” she admitted, pulling her knees to her chest, “but I wanted to hear it from you. You didn’t make the front row.” He sighed, lowering himself onto the end of the lounge chair that she had freed up by bringing her legs to her chest. “I’m sorry if it was me.” She breathed, not looking at him. “If I was somehow a distraction, and….” She stopped talking when he placed a hand on her arm, pulling her attention first to the touch, then to his face. He was smiling.

“It was my choice.” He said, his tone soft. “I’m still in a good position, and I wasn’t the only one whose grid position was an upset.” She nodded, giving him a small smile. “How was your day?”

“It’s been good.” She shrugged. “Just been watching a bunch of adrenaline junkies driver really fast in circles.”

“Adrenaline junkie, is that what I am?”

“Did I say I was watching F1? I was actually watching NASCAR. It’s more interesting.” Lanod grabbed his chest, faking being wounded.

“Ouch.” She giggled. “What did you want to do tonight?” She turned her attention to the skyline, biting her lip. “For dinner I mean. It’s the least I can do since I practically abducted you.” She smiled at the nerves that were seeping into his tone. She turned, resting a cheek on her knees.

“Do you trust me?” She asked and his eyebrows shot up. “Well?”

“Yes.” He said, his eyes never leaving hers. She held his gaze for a long moment before she abruptly stood up.

“Good.” She gave him a wink before turning, grabbing her laptop, and making her way inside. Fully aware that he was tracking her every movement.

Lando was in so much trouble. Had been in so much trouble since the moment he realized exactly what she had been planning. It would have been hard for any sort of surprise since they were staying in the same hotel room even though he had requested a couch just in case she changed her mind about sharing a bed with him.

A decision he wouldn’t blame her for in the slightest.

That’s where he sat while she got everything ready, on the couch in the ‘living room’ area, forcing himself to focus on the data that his strategist sent over. It was hard, not only because Arabella Van Dijk was running around his hotel room, but also because most of his strategy focused on how his position benefited Max. And truth be told, he wasn’t exactly thrilled about reading about her ex-boyfriend while she planned, what he hoped would be, a date.

When she called him over, he hadn’t known what to expect, but this was not even on his radar of dinner ideas. Arabella had set up the ultimate night of movies and takeout, with an obscene amount of pillows. Which, if he was being honest, was exactly what he needed after the day he had.

“You know it’s August right? It’s going to be too hot for all this.” He said looking over the mountains of pillows and blankets, the array of takeout menus that had been fanned out across the bedside table. She had moved the television so the glare from the window didn’t catch it anymore, and it was already turned on to a home screen that had Netflix, Crave, and Apple TV.

“I got them to turn the temperature down in the room.” She said coming out from the washroom that sat behind where he was standing.

“That’s very thoughtful of…” His voice trailed off as he turned to see her.

Yup, he was in so much trouble.

Arabella had replaced the shirt she had been wearing with a new one that she must have gotten from his suitcase. It was slightly big on her, hanging past her waist and covering whatever bottoms she had decided to wear. His eyes caught on that part of her wardrobe, wondering if she had replaced the short spandex shorts she had been sporting earlier.

“That’s my shirt.”

“It’s actually not.” She said looking down at herself, and that’s when he realized. It wasn’t his shirt, not his own personal shirt. It was instead one of the fan ones, one that had his name and driver’s number on it. “I bought it. I thought I’d wear it to the track tomorrow.”

There was nothing that stopped the wave of heat that washed over him seeing her wear his shirt, not only that but his name and driver number. It was as if some predatorial part of him saw it as a claiming. It started to stir something in him, that he was going to have to force himself to keep silenced.

“You want to come tomorrow?”

“You’re racing aren’t you?” A breathless laugh escaped him.

“People will talk.”

“I don’t care.”

“Arabella…”

“I don’t.” She assured him. “I really don’t.” The smile she gave him then, was enough to take him out at the knees. “Although I do think we shouldn’t flaunt it.”

“Flaunt what?” His entire body was frozen, holding every ounce of oxygen in his system.

“Us.” It was one word, one word that could mean a million things. It could be placed in a million different sentences. So, he waited, watching every movement she made. Long enough that her eyes dropped to the floor, her foot poking at an imaginary piece of dirt on the floor. “I don’t know…” she trailed off, and he took a step towards her, but she took a deep breath, “I don’t know what this can be.” She looked up at him and an eyebrow raised in response to her words. “I don’t know what part of me, if any, is ready to start something else. Start down this road again. He wasn’t breathing, hadn’t been since she said that stupid word. “I know you’re nothing like him, I know you’re two completely different people, but you’re still a driver.” She took another deep breath. “I’m terrified.” Her voice wavered, and something snapped within him.

“Arabella…” He took the last steps towards her, not hesitating to take her in his arms and pull her against him. He felt her tremble, slightly, and take a few shaky deep breaths before she pulled back. Just enough to look up at him.

So much trouble.

“Like I said, I don’t know what this can be. If it can be anything.” Something inside him was breaking, but he ignored it, choosing to focus on what it meant. If she didn’t know if it could be something, then she also didn’t know if it couldn’t. “All I know is that I want to be at that race tomorrow. I want to support you.”

“Okay.” He said pulling her into him again. The feeling of her head sliding into that perfect spot between his shoulder and neck was almost enough to make his entire body tremble. To realize just how perfectly she fit there.

“That’s P1, congrats mate.” There was no feeling of excitement that washed through him as he pulled his car around for his cool-down lap. The only emotion he was feeling, was relief that it was over as well as the relief of the extra cushion these points gave him in the driver’s championship race, as well as in the constructor’s race.

“Congrats Max, that was a brilliant drive. Those were some good points for the team and put us ahead in the driver’s championship.”

“How did…” he paused the word getting stuck in his throat, “how did the rest of the team do?”

“Lando didn’t finish.” There was a pause before the response and Max wondered if it was the way he worded the question or that they weren’t thrilled with his teammate’s performance.

“Shame.” Although he couldn’t stop the corner of his lips from tugging upwards. “Those would have been some good points for the constructors.”

It wasn’t the first time he had been at the top of the podium; it wasn’t even the first time this month that he had been at the top of the podium. He had already been in the lead for the championship title, and Red Bull almost had the constructor race locked in as well. However, when he stepped onto that podium, it felt like he had just won the world title. Max didn’t hate himself for the reason he felt on top of the world on the podium if anything he felt he had just proved to everyone that he was the best. Solidified that he was the best. Just in case anyone questioned it.

Best team, best driver, best Dutch athlete. Max was the best man, the better man, and there was only one person he had wanted to prove it to.

His eyes scanned the crowd, through the Red Bull team looking for his teammate. Looking for the only person whom he could justifiably say he was better than. Red Bull was the best car, they had both proven that, but Lando was the only driver who sat behind the same wheel as Max did. Which meant that Lando was his only real competition. The only driver out there he could know, without a shadow of a doubt, he was better than.

Lando wasn’t with the team, at least not near the front of the crowd with the engineers, mechanics, and the rest of the pit crew. He wasn’t standing with Christian Horner or Helmut Marko. There was a part of him that reminded him where he was, what was going on around him, and it was because of that part that he raised the champagne and began spraying the other drivers on the podium, as well as the crowd below. Still, he kept an eye open for Lando.

His eyes caught on a blond as she tucked herself underneath the shadow of the media stand. Her long hair fell down in waves from underneath her Red Bull hat. When she turned to speak to whomever she had walked up to, that was when Max saw it, saw the number on the back of her shirt. That was when he realized who it was.

Lando had placed himself at the back of the crowd. There to support, or there to brag, Max didn’t care. All he could see was the smile he had on his face as she walked up, the arm that slid around her shoulders as she tucked herself in tight.

Max’s hands tightened around the champagne bottle. Someone hit him in the side of the face with their champagne, and he had to turn, had to whip the liquid from his eyes. He looked away for just a moment, that’s all it took.

The neck of the champagne bottle shattered in his hands.

People gasped.

Arabella and Lando broke apart, neither of them noticing what was happening on the stage. Neither of them caring. Max, let the other half of the bottle topple over in his hand, shattering on the ground.

“Max.” Someone said, probably someone from Red Bull. Max didn’t care, he just stormed off the podium.

Leaving his trophy behind.

Lando had been forced to retire. By force meant his car had collided with someone else’s on track and had hit the barrier with enough force that a red flag was called in order to repair the damage. It wasn’t a big crash, nothing that required anything more than a quick check-up at the medical center before he was returned to the Red Bull garage.

Arabella was waiting for him in his driver’s room, sitting on the bench her foot anxiously tapping against the floor. When the door opened her head snapped in his direction and when she realized it was him she ran across the room toward him throwing her arms around him.

“Thank god.” She breathed. “They told me it was just to be safe, but…”

“I’m okay.” He said breathing in the scent of her. It washed over him calming his racing heart.

“I was terrified.” She said pulling back enough to look at him. Her eyes were rimmed with red, with more tears threatening to slip from her light blue eyes.

“I know, but it’s okay, I’m okay.” He said letting her go, he sat down on the bench for nothing more than the exhaustion that had started to set in.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Her words were barely above a whisper.

“What?”

“I can’t feel this every weekend.” She said, not looking at him and grabbing at the fabric above her heart as if it physically hurt her.

“You did it with Max.”

“It’s worse with you, it’s always been worse when it’s been you.” He pulled her chin up, forcing her to look at him.

“Arabella…”

“It’s why I’m holding back.” Her words were broken up by her voice breaking. She stood up crossing the small room. “It’s why I pushed you away after the wedding if I let myself feel, truly feel, how much you mean to me.” She shook her head. “I…” Her voice broke again and this time a sob broke free. “I can’t do it.”

“Driving is who I am.” He breathed, the words just tumbling from him. “It’s a part of me, at my core.” Her shoulders shook, as she looked up at him. Tears streaming down her face, her itched to reach for her, but he had to get the words out. “I’ve never been scared of dying.” She whimpered. “Until you. Until you came into the medical center in Spain, you were so scared.” He shook his head closing his eyes for a moment remembering the look in her eyes. The same look that plagued his nightmares. “Every driver becomes at peace with the idea of dying while doing what they love, while chasing that dream. It’s the only way to block out the fear.” He stood crossing the room slowly. “But I ever since Spain, I haven’t been able to block out the paralyzing fear of losing you. Of cutting short the time I get with you.” He reached out brushing a tear off her cheek. “Of never touching you again.” His breathing grew raged, as his fingers traced the curves and slants of her face.

“Lando…” She breathed, and his name was the last crack in his armor. The truth was there had been lots of women in his life. A handful of women who had made it deep enough into his heart that he thought of them when he crashed. There had never been a woman who would have been able to keep him from the car, that had the power to end his career.

“If you asked me, I would.” Her eyes widened. “I would, for you.”

“I would never.” She shook her head taking a small step back.

“That’s how much I…”

“Don’t.” She said pressing a finger to his lips. “Don’t say it.”

“Why not?”

“Promise me you’ll never stop for me.” He didn’t say anything, only stepped closer to her, she matched him by taking a step back. He had never been thankful for a driver's room to be so small. “Promise me.”

“Why?” He challenged.

“Because you would never ask the same of me.”

“Of course not, that’s because…” Another step forward for him, and another backwards for her.

“I know why.” She cut him off again, and this time his brows furrowed in frustration.

“You won’t let me say it.”

“No.”

“Why?” Another step and her back was pressed against the wall.

“Because.” Another tear escaped her eye, and he did move to brush it away.

“Because it’ll make it easier for you to leave if I don’t.” She shook her head.

“Because if you say it, I’ll have to say it back.” She whispered and he took a full step back, his face looking like she physically slapped him. “Promise me.”

“Why does that matter now?” He took another step back from her, throwing his hands up in the air. His tone was getting frustrated, his entire body on the edge of exhaustion and a breaking point.

“Promise me.” She whispered, her tone the same.

“Fuck, fine, I promise.” He said running a hand through his mess of curls. “Why is that so important to you?” He turned towards her.

“Because you love me enough to quit the thing that makes up who you are.” Her voice was shaking. “And I love you enough to never let you.”

Nothing prepared him for those words, nothing. He had been in denial up until the last syllable. His entire body stopped; his heart, his lungs, his very being was frozen in that moment.

So much trouble.

Before he knew what was happening, he had crossed the distance between them and kissed her. The kiss was simple, to the point. Nothing more than a man desperately trying to show a woman how much she meant to him. How, in his mind, she was worth getting hurt over. She was worth every moment of confusion and pain.

“Say it again.” He breathed, breaking apart from her. Arabella smiled, her fingers brushing his cheek.

“Lando Norris, I love you.” He smiled against her. “Just please don’t die on me.”

“I will do everything in my power not to.”

“And no commas or head injuries either. I can’t stand the thought of you not remembering me.”

“You, Arabella Van Dijk, are one unforgettable woman.” She smiled and he kissed her again. Not being able to bear another moment without having her lips on his.

It was slow at first, he wanted to savor every inch of her. Explore every inch of her mouth with his tongue. His hands slid down her back, grabbing her backside as if it were a life vest and he was drowning. She let out something similar to a moan and a gasp as she pulled her up off the ground, letting her wrap her legs around him. One hand tangled in his hair, the other gripped his shoulders as he lifted her, her nails digging into his skip.

“Don’t you have to be somewhere?” She said, her breathing heavy. There was a fire in her eyes, a desperation that made every part of him melt. The Queen of England could be waiting for him and his answer in that moment would still be the same.

“Nope.” He breathed and she smiled.

“Then you should probably lock the door.” He smiled, pulling her to him and walking across the small room with her still wrapped around him.

Chapter Text

September 2024 – Singapore Grand Prix

Lando pulled his car around to the first-place spot near the FIA weight station. Getting out he stood on his car a feeling of pure exhilaration sliding through him as the crowd screamed and cheered around him. It was a feeling that he would never get used to and would never get enough of. The only thing that made this particular win, just a little bit sweeter, was the lack of a Red Bull on the podium.

It was Lando, in a McLaren, followed by the two Ferraris.

It wasn't just the win; it was the points that put him ahead in the driver's championship. It was the feeling of all of his dreams getting closer, getting within reach.

"Where was Max?" Lando asked after he had finished hugging his team. He slipped into the cooldown room, both Charles and Carlos giving him a congratulatory hug. Being in the cooldown room was a sweet feeling, being there with them. It was ten times sweeter.

"He didn't finish." Carlos said looking at the highlights playing on a screen on the wall.

"What?" Lando asked, his own yes finding the screen.

"See? He hit the wall. Had to retire." Charles said pointing to the replay.

"Horner wasn't happy." Carlos went on. "He demanded a penalty."

"To who? The crash was clearly his fault." Charles said motioning to the screen, even though the replay was gone. Carlos just shrugged.

"Don't underestimate Horner where Max is concerned, I should know." Lando said giving a light shrug as he dropped himself into one of the chairs. Not caring if it was the one that said 1, 2, or 3.

"Feels good doesn't it?" Charles asked, dropping into the chair beside him. "Beating them after they dropped you." Carlos glanced at Lando knowing the truth; Red Bull didn't drop Lando. He left, and it cost him to do it. Thankfully McLaren was more than happy to welcome him back their rookie choice not doing the best.

"Feels amazing." It was the truth, although his tone didn't mirror the feeling. Charles gave him a raised eyebrow, curious, look, but Carlos just gave his friend a pat on the shoulder and turned, focusing once again on the replay real.

It felt amazing, and each race it felt better than the last. Except he knew it wasn't because he was winning, and his dreams were coming closer. It was because the more time went without a phone call from Arabella, the more time he got to be okay with it. To be okay with the fact that it might be time to move on.

The idea didn't scare him anymore. Which perhaps scared him more than anything.

October 2024 - Netherlands Slopestyle Competition

"Do you how horribly this could go?" Jesse said from his spot along the spectator's fence near the bottom of the slopestyle course.

"It's not even on the FIS calendar, she's going to be fine." Seb countered although he didn't sound so sure.

"Fifty says the box takes her." Vlad said from the far end of their group making Seb and Jesse turn to him their eyes horrified.

"I say it'll be the rail, look how long it is. She's going to need a lot of speed to do the whole thing." Benny said and the two of them turned to face their other two, mortified, roommates.

"What is wrong with you?" Jesse said, shaking his head. He was their fourth male roommate who, since his family lived relatively close, was hardly ever there. "Her brother is here."

"He's off getting coffee." Benny shrugged. "Do you guys want in or what?" Jesse's mouth dropped open further.

"You're seriously betting and where in this course our roommate and friend is going to fall?"

"She would do the same for us." Vlad shrugged, although he hadn't stopped playing with his gloves since they had arrived.

"I'll put one hundred that she pulls the whole thing off and tops the podium." Jesse said, pushing his chin higher. "Fuck all of you."

"You're no fun." Benny waved his hand, but Vlad had a smile at the corner of his lips.

"It's going to be the final jump." Seb said causing Jesse to snap his head in his direction, a gasp pouring out of him.

"Excuse the fuck out of you?" Benny chuckled.

"They have a point." Seb shrugged. "I'm rooting for her, but if the roles were reversed she'd do the same."

"What would my sister do?" Levi asked coming up behind them with a tray of steaming cups in his hands. Beside him was a woman with auburn hair and a sweet smile, turns out she had been Arabella's nurse and somehow she had come to the event with her brother. It was a conversation that plagued most of the car ride to the course and the same one that made Arabella yell at all of them to behave.

Jesse was looking mortified once again, and Seb was looking at Benny who looked slightly guilty, avoiding eye contact with Levi or the nurse. It was Vlad who shrugged and said, "We're taking bets about which part of the course will take her."

"Take her?" The nurse, Allie, said confused.

"They're betting on which part of the course she's going to crash on." Levi explained, looking at each of them, then up at the course behind them where a snowboarder was making their way down. It was an easier course, that's why they had chosen it, but it had some challenging elements. Arabella was competing under the name Bella Andrews so no one would know exactly who she was. The irony that her last name matched her doctors, was lost on no one. There was no press, no reporters, no one but some smaller sports blogs that wanted to make a name for themselves. The competition wouldn't even be televised.

It was her perfect comeback story. If she finished.

"What did you guys pick?" Levi asked and the boys looked at each other.

"Benny went for the rail; I went for the box and Seb went for the final jump." Vlad said, the rest still looking too guilty to comment.

"I said she would finish it." Jesse said almost too proudly.

"Oh right." Vlad said.

"You're all wrong." Levi said simply. "It's going to be the switchback between the rail and the first jump." Jesse's mouth fell open again.

"So, Levi bets the first jump." Vlad said with a triumphant smile. "Fitty euros." He held out his hand to Levi who shook it. Vlad turned his attention to the nurse.

"I don't know if I can, I spent too long taking care of her." She shook her head.

"She would do the same for us." Seb said, his tone softer. "Trust us, she loves meaningless bets. She’d make them all the time, on anything.”

“One time she bet on which color of socks Vlad was wearing when he finally mastered a certain trick.” Benny chimed in.

“And I always wear the same color of socks.” Vlad smiled, triumphantly. “Which was why you took the bet.” He said grabbing Seb around his shoulders.

“Whatever, she cheated by buying you knew socks for Christmas.” Vlad and Benny laughed. Allie turned to look at Levi who held the same amount of fear as when Arabella told him she was going to snowboard for the first time. The same fear that had kept him up at night, and the same fear that had him throwing up on the way to the course.

"I think her endurance is going to fail her. I think she'll bail second to last jump." She shook Vlad's outstretched hand.

"You guys are all fucking crazy." Jesse grumbled turning back to the track. He squinted looking for the number on the snowboarder who had just come down.

"When is she up?" Allie asked.

"Two more." Jesse answered and she nodded. The group of them turned towards the course. No one spoke after that. Not as the next snowboarder fell on the rail, then the next messed up her interchange going into the first jump.

No, they all just sat and watched, secretly praying that Jesse, of all people, was right.

American Grand Prix

Lando made it into his driver’s room and closed the door behind him before his chest truly started to cave in. His breathing was heavy, and his throat felt like it was closing, which wasn’t a good combination. The world around him felt like it was spinning, and he had no idea how to stop it. All he could do was let whatever was happening wash over him. He felt the pain in his knees before he realized he had fallen to the floor.

“Lando?” A knock came at the door, and at first he didn’t know who it was. Couldn’t place the voice. All he could place was the pounding in his ears, it was a surprise he heard anything at all. “Lando?”

“I’m just not feeling good.” Someone said, and it took him a minute to realize that it was him. Shaking his head, he tried to clear some of the fog. It failed.

“Lando, it’s Carlos.” A new voice came from the door, and before he knew what was happening his friend was kneeling in front of him. His head was still heavy, something was pounding inside of it like it wanted to get out.

“Does he need the doctor?”

“No, he’ll be alright.” Carlos said, kneeling in front of him. Behind him the door closed and Lando hoped that whoever had been speaking earlier was on the other side of the door. He could make out his friend in front of him, the red of his Ferrari shirt bright against the muted grey tones of his driver’s room.

“It’s okay.” Carlos said, placing a hand on his shoulder. The feeling heavy against everything else, but it felt okay. Felt good somehow. It felt like he could breath just a little bit better with that touch. As if it was grounding him somehow.

“I don’t…” he struggled but forced the words out. “I don’t… know… what’s happening.”

“I think it’s a panic attack.” Carlos said, his tone soft. “I have them too.” The admission made Lando meet his gaze. His head started to clear just a little bit more. “It’s usually when I don’t know where Em is.”

“Right.” He understood it, and his head cleared just a little more. He could feel his arms and his legs, could feel the awkward angle that his leg was at, and he slid down into a better position. “I don’t know what I could be panicking about though.”

“Is it Arabella?” Carlos asked in the same soft tone, perhaps even softer. Lando shrugged.

“I don’t know.” He admitted. “I haven’t spoken to her since, well since she told me that she needed space.” Carlos nodded but didn’t say anything. “I mean I google her sometimes, but that’s not…” Carlos shrugged, waving his friend off. Lando was thankful he didn’t scold him.

“Maybe it’s all hitting you. It’s been a hard few months.” Lando snorted, the first sign that he was getting back to his normal self and Carlos smiled at it.

“That’s an understatement.” Carlos eyes dropped and Lando caught himself. “Sorry man, I didn’t…” Carlos waved him off again.

“It’s not the same thing. I came out of it with her, you can’t say the same.” Lando nodded.

“I think I have to let her go.”

To that Carlos had no answer. 

Netherlands Slopestyle Competition 

There were a million things that were going through her head as she strapped her boots into her board at the top of the course. A million and one things when Katie gave her final piece of advice, being one of her coaches for the day. “Don’t fall.” She said with a small sheepish smile. It was all she could think to say, and despite the nerves that were flowing through her at the moment she gave her a smile in return.

A million and three things when Dimitri gave his last bit of sage advice before they entered the starting tent. His last-minute pointers were something that she already knew, but in some way had become a little bit of a tradition. Part of their ritual. He knew that no matter what he said, her performance wouldn’t change. There was nothing he could say in the moments before she started that would change anything. Still, he said them. Every time.

As she slid closer to the front of the starting tent, every one of those things going through her head slowly started to disappear. When she finally took a deep breath and slid down from the starting tent every one of those million things emptied from her mind. It went completely blank. As she leaned down to tighten her bindings one last time, her mind went completely and blissfully silent.

Everything fell away. The accident, the fear of falling, the fear of failure. All the opinions about whether she should have waited, or if she should even be competing again at all, they all disappeared. There was only her, her board, and the course ahead of her.

“Ready?” The starter asked, and she turned looking at Dimitri. He nodded, and she smiled.

“Yeah she is.” His smile grew and he clapped his hands together rubbing them in anticipation. Something like excitement and her own anticipation washed over her and her body started to tingle.

“I need to hear it from her.” The starter said and Arabella nodded.

“I’m ready.” She said, letting the feeling lead her forward. Arabella jumped, twisted her board so it faced down the run and then she was gone. Whether she was truly ready or not. 

American Grand Prix

“FUUUCCKKKKK.” Lando screamed into his helmet as the world around him stopped moving. His car was crushed into the barrier, and judging by the crunching of metal and that his wheel was now sitting on the wrong side of his car, there was no way he could reverse and attempt to return to the race.

Any chance at points were gone.

“Are you alright?” His engineer asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry guys.” He said resting his head back against the headrest for a moment before he started to work on undoing the straps and pulling out the steering wheel so he could get out, calming himself down.

“It’s alright Lando, we’re still ahead in the points.” He nodded, knowing that no one could see him, and knowing that it was true. This race wouldn’t put Max in the lead it would only make the difference in points between the two of them less than ten.

Which was nothing.

He waved to the fans, not bothering to take his helmet off until he was back in the paddock. The ride in the medical car was quiet, the crash didn’t produce enough g-force that he had to get checked out and after a few questions from the doctor Lando was cleared to go back to the garage as long as he checked in with the medical center before he left the track.

Lando’s helmet came off once he was in the back of the garage, away from prying eyes. With the race still going on, the only people paying attention to him were members of his team. Who had nothing to do until the end of the race, or until the car was returned and they started working on salvaging what they could. Mostly the people that he couldn’t bring himself to look at. No one understood what the crash meant more than him, how it made his dreams just a little harder to hold onto. However, it was still a hard loss for the team as a whole. A burden that he carried being the driver.

He stayed only as long as he had to, talking a little with Zac Brown, his team principal, and his engineer before he returned to the McLaren motorhome and his private drivers' room. There was nothing he wanted more than a nap, and maybe a massage.

As he went to remove his suit he felt the soreness in his muscles starting to sink in along with the exhaustion. He was definitely going to need a massage. It pained him to slide the suit down his arms, and even more to slide it down his legs.

“Fuck.” He breathed again and groaned as he sat down on the bench, running a hand through his sweaty mess of curls. He had dealt with exhaustion from races before, but this wasn’t just exhaustion it was defeat. He felt utterly defeated. It was as if the other shoe had dropped to prove to him that the universe wasn’t going to let him achieve his dream, any of them.

“Lando?” A light knock sounded at the door and the voice of his assistant slid through its cracks.

“Yeah, come in.” He said still in his fireproofs. They were tight and didn’t hide anything, however, she had seen him in them a few times already. This was nothing new, and he genuinely didn’t have it in him to care. “If this is about doing some press because I’m out, can it wait? I could use a massage; my arms are killing me.” She nodded.

“I can get someone in here for that, and it’s not about the press. They can wait.” He nodded, leaning down with a wince he started on his shoes, where his race suit was bunched up around. “It’s about something personal.” He looked up at her, his eyebrow raised.

“Personal?”

“I thought you’d want to know sooner, rather than later.”

“Okay?” He slid his shoes free, and then the suit. “What’s it about?”

“The apartment.”

“What’s going on at my apartment? Was there a water main break or something?” She shook her head.

“The other apartment.” She said softly and it took him a second for his brain to catch up to the words she was saying. His shoulders tensed and he let out a long breath.

“Oh.” She nodded.

“Someone is living in it.” His eyebrows shot up to his airline.

“What?” She nodded, and his heart started to race in his chest. Hope flickered around the edges of his heart. “She moved back in?”

“It looks that way.” A smile played over his lips. “There’s more.” She took a deep breath. “After her accident, all the utilities, internet, everything was moved over to solely come out of your account.” He nodded, remembering. “She’s changing that.”

“Can she do that? She’s not the sole owner, the condo board wouldn’t go for it.”

“That’s the other thing.” She swallowed looking nervous. “She’s applied to have you removed as co-owner. She even made an offer to your lawyer to buy you out of the apartment.”

And he had thought he knew what defeated felt like. 

Netherlands Slopestyle Competition 

She had crossed many finish lines over the course of her life, at every level imaginable in Slopestyle Snowboarding. Arabella had crossed finish lines that told her she was moving up, that she was making a name for herself. Finish lines that meant she was going to the Olympics, or that she was winning the world title. Perhaps her favorite had been when she crossed the finish line and found out she had just won a gold medal for her country. For her mother’s country. For her fathers.

Yet somehow none of them compared to the feeling of crossing the finish line at the small, amateur slopestyle competition she had found. It had been a poster outside of a shopping center. It had been a crazy idea that had somehow come to fruition.

The world around her was completely silent as Arabella stopped in the finishing area. She immediately turned back, not truly believing that she had done it. That she had finished it. Up near the starting tent she saw Dimitri, jumping up and down with his arms in the air.

It slammed into her then, all the emotions. Tears welled in her eyes as she laughed, laughed at the crazy idea. That she had done it. It was exhilarating. Her muscles ached, and her knee twinged in a place where she had landed funny after the second to last jump, but none of it mattered. None.

“You did it!” Someone screamed as she rounded the corner after the exit. Her board fell to the ground as Seb wrapped her up into his arms, pulling her around in a circle. Benny was patting her shoulder, and then suddenly she was up in the air. Vlad pulling her onto his shoulders.

“I did it!” She screamed fist pumping the air as her brother came and held out his hand to her. He smiled, tears pooling in his eyes as she took his hand.

“How do you feel?” He asked. Behind him Allie was tearing up her hands over her lips.

“Alive.” She said and it was the truth, she had never felt more alive since waking up, maybe even before, until then. Until she crossed that finish line. She had never felt more herself, either. Levi nodded, a sob breaking free of his lips.

“You fucking did it!” Dimitri said, all but crashing into the fence that protected the spectators from the runs beyond. Katie was close behind, her big smile pushing her goggles up from her cheeks.

“I did it.”

She remembered every moment of what followed. Of Vlad carrying her on his shoulders back towards the chalet. She had to remind someone to grab her board. Dimitri had grabbed it. They waited at the bottom for the scores and Arabella finally took her helmet and goggles off. For a little while no one recognized her, them some of the competitors did. Arabella signed a few autographs and took a few photos, and then an official came by to explain to her that she had been disqualified.

“Congrats on your return.” He said handing her a participation medal.

“Seriously?” Benny asked, looking after the official as he walked back towards where they were deliberating the results. A few coaches were standing close, ready to dispute the other disqualifications and penalties, but Dimitri just stayed by Arabella’s side.

“I wonder what it was?” Levi asked.

“Her equipment.” Seb answered, he had been the only one to go over and check the score board. The same board where they posted the disqualifications.

“That’s so dumb.” Katie said rolling her eyes.

“It was part of the deal.” Dimitri said as Arabella looked over her medal. “She could compete under a different name, but she couldn’t win.”

“Why not?”

“She outranks everyone here.” Dimitri said with a shrug.

Arabella didn’t say anything, running her fingers over the medal. It was cheap, bronze with nothing more than the name of the competition and the date. It hung on a simple blue ribbon. It was nicer than some of the other participation medals and ribbons she had gotten over the years that all sat in a box somewhere in her parent’s garage. It had been her mother’s idea to keep them all, to remember every competition she participated in. To remember where she started from, how hard she worked.

Arabella used to hate it, used to hate all of them. If they had been worth anything she would have sold them, except participation medals were cheap by design. Meant to be a thank you for coming, but sorry you’re not good enough to stand on the podium and have some important person put a medal around your neck. They were made to make competitors want a better one.

They were worthless by design.

Except for this one, this one was priceless. 

Chapter Text

February 2024

"I don't know how to do this." He admitted, standing just beyond the threshold of the hospital room that held one of his deepest darkest nightmares. There was a part of him that was convinced he was dreaming. For the past few hours, since the moment his phone rang, he prayed he was. Prayed that she would be okay, that this was all some twisted joke or a horrible, horrible dream.

"You don't have to say anything, just sit with her." The nurse offered, she was a younger woman, probably not much older than Arabella, and her smile was both encouraging as well as reassuring.

"Can she hear me?"

"I'd like to believe she can." She said after a breath, her gaze was fixated inside the room. Her eyes kept rolling over the monitors and tubes, making sure they were all working properly. "There are cases where patients wake up from anesthesia with the memory of everything that was said to them or around them, then there are patients who don't remember a thing." She turned back to Lando with a shrug.

"When will she wake up?"

"The anesthesia should wear off in an hour or two." The nurse smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. "She's young and healthy, and the procedure had little to no complications. Those are all really good signs." He nodded, taking a deep breath and a tentative step into he room. "I'll leave you to it, I'll be down at the nurse's station if you need me."

Once the nurse had left, Lando took a few more steps into the room. It was plain, with nothing more than the stock hospital decorations along the walls, and a small vase that sat empty on the table beside the only window. A curtain separated Arabella's bed with the one next to her, and another curtain separated her from the two others along the other wall.

It all looked so foreign to him. The hospital bed, the tubes, the gown she was wearing. Event he way he head was sitting on the pillow with her hair spread out around her. He had never seen her look like that, not in the months that she had been sleeping beside him.

"Hey." He said, pulling a chair up to the side of her bed. He felt awkward talking to her while she slept, he had only done it once before, usually while she was on her side, her arm tucked under her cheek and her hair a mess around her from rolling around so much in her sleep. Now she looked pale, sickly, wrong. "They said you should wake up in a few hours, and your brother didn't want you to be alone, and well, let's be honest I couldn't wait to see you." He smiled, leaning forward he took her hand in both of his. It was too cold.

"They told me you might be able to hear me, that you might remember this." He let out a breathless laugh as he looked over her face again. Something inside him that had been slowly building since his phone rang was starting to break free and he felt his breath leaving him. "How is this real?" His eyes starting stinging. "You were fine, you were completely fine. I watched you fall, and I thought my heart was going to stop, but then you got up. You were fine." A sob broke free and he lowered his forehead to the blanket.

"I don't know what I would have done if you weren't okay." He admitted, his tone barely above a whisper. "I couldn't breath while you were in surgery, I couldn't..." his voice broke and he paused, leaning up to look at her. He brought her knuckles to his lips. "Thank god, you're okay." He breathed, shifting he stood leaning over her. Brushing his fingers along her cheek. "All you have to do now is open your eyes. That's it." Lando brushing his lips against her forehead. "I'll be here, waiting, I promise."

"Just open your eyes for me baby."

February 2024

"I don't know if I can do this." Lando said, pausing at the threshold of her room. It was the first time he had hesitated to enter in the time she had been there. It had become easier to talk to her, to tell her all about what was going on as if she would open her eyes and they could just continue their life together like nothing had happened. Like one day she would open her eyes, he would kiss her, and they would walk out of the hospital together. Back to their home in Monaco, back to their life.

He would do anything to make that happen. Anything.

Lando was no longer convinced he was dreaming, there was no world where his nightmares would include Levi going through such pain. It hadn't been a year since he had buried his father, since he had been sitting at his father death bed. Now he was transferring his little sister to the same hospital. The same one that his mother walked into, and never walked out of, then his father.

He refused to thing of the symmetry. Refused to let the thought enter his mind, to let it take route and somehow ruin his life further.

She would wake up, she had too. Even if the doctors debated how long was right to keep a woman as health as Arabella in such a state. She was young, her organs vital, the longer she stayed on life support machines, the more her body would deteriorate.

"Levi is taking you home." He said after a deep breath, slowly he stepped into the room. "It's what's best, especially for him. He can't keep living out of a hotel, he has to get back to work, get back to his life." His voice started to shake. Reaching forward he brushed an imaginary strand of hair from her face.

"I understand why he's doing it, and I support it." Which was true. "I also know he's right. You'd be kicking my ass if you thought I was putting my life on hold for you." He lowered himself into the chair, the same one that Max had sat it earlier. He pushed the thought from his mind. "I promised you I'd never quit for you, and I won't," he paused, his voice wavering, "but I don't know how to do this without you. I don't know how to say...." A sob broke free and he leaned onto the bed, wrapping an arm around her too thin torso and resting his head on her stomach. "How can I say goodbye to you?"

For a few minutes he laid there, his head on her stomach, eyes closed, and listening to the air being pushed and pulled from her lungs. Feeling the movements of her diaphragm. Her heartbeat was there, beating and reminding him that she was alive.

She was alive.

She was alive.

"I miss you so much." He breathed, lifting his head only to look at her face. "I need you..." he swallowed, "I need you to wake up."

Lando pushed off the bed, whipping his eyes and then standing, taking her face in both of his hands, careful of the breathing tube. He lowered his forehead to hers.

"Just please come back to me, I can't say goodbye not to you, not forever." Tears had started to string his eyes, and he was long past holding them back. They slid down his face and dripped onto her face.

"This isn't goodbye, it can't be." He said, brushing his lips over her forehead. "It can't be."

There was a part of him believed it because there was no chance someone so bright and so loving could have their life cut so short. However, he mostly believed it to be true because the alternative was too painful. He didn't know what he would do, how he would deal with just allowing the thought in. So, he refused to. He gave her another kiss on the forehead before he left and didn't look back.

Because he knew that she would come back to him.

Because she had too.

March 2024

"I can't do this." Lando said grabbing her pale, cold hand and bringing it to his tear-stained cheek. He hadn't seen her since Levi had transported her back to Hoorn. He had done what everyone, including him, thought she would have wanted. He went on with his life, throwing himself into work, but then the first race had come.

And she wasn't there.

It wasn't about the race or that she wasn't there to cheer him on. It was that she wasn't anywhere. He had called her, only for it to hit him when her voicemail played. She wasn't going to pick up, no matter how many times he called. He could hide from it when he was in the car, even when he was in the factory, but when the interviews started, and her name came up.

He had crumbled. On live television.

"I can't do this." He repeated, grabbing the fabric of the blanket that was draped over her. "Please don't make me do this."

Tears, hot and heavy, slid down his face, sobs broke free of him. There was nothing holding him back, no belief that she would open her eyes again. There was no hope left, nothing. He was broken and desperate. So desperate he had broken into a hospital after hours, or rather had paid the security guard to look the other way, just so that he could see her.

"I can't breathe without you." He said, his voice broken. "I can't live without you." More sobs, broken and raw sobs. "Please, please come back to me."

He wasn't sure what he thought was going to happen, why he had needed so desperately to see her. It was only when the words came tumbling from him that he realized just how much he had been holding in. How much he had needed to get off his chest, and how bloodied and raw his wounds really were.

"I would do anything to go back, to go back to that day. To that moment. I would have never let you out of my sight. I should have never let you go..." His knees gave out and he fell to the ground. "Oh god, please come back to me. Please."

For a long time, he remained there, on his knees at her bedside repeating the word over and over in a mixture of a prayer and a desperate plea. The moon rose, and started to fall as he knelt there begging whatever god was out there for her to open her eyes. Begged whatever had taken her away from him, taken the best thing to walk into life from him, to give her back. To just let her open her eyes and live.

He just needed her to live.

"Remember the bet we made?" His voice was raw, his throat screaming for water, but he didn't move from where he had knelt. His pleas had stopped a few minutes before, but he remained where he was. "That you'd win six world titles before I won the championship?" He tilted his head, looking up towards her face. "We bet two thousand dollars, well I did, you bet me twenty before you knew that I would win." He laughed; a sound so broken it hurt. "You knew that I could win, even with McLaren, you knew I could do it. You convinced me that I could do it, not dream it but really do it. You are the reason I know I can, Arabella."

Lando put his weight on the side of the bed and pushed himself up, leaning over her he took her head in his hands, careful of the breathing tube.

"So, here's the deal." He swallowed. "I won't quit, I won't break that promise to you, but I won't take the title without you. I'll race and I'll fight for the title, but if you don't wake up, I won't take it. I'll pull out of the last races. I'll let McLaren fire me, I don't care." A tear slid down his face and hit her nose. "I won't do it, not without you. All you have to do is wake up, just open your eyes. I don't care if you aren't the world champion snowboarder I fell in love with," he placed a hand over her heart, "I fell in love with your heart, with your soul, and nothing can change that." Under his palm he could feel her heartbeat. Reminding him that she was alive.

Even if it was by machines.

"You wake up, and I'll win the world championship." He looked over her face, looking for any flicker. "Okay?" Nothing. "I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

Leaning back, he took her hand and shook it, the same that they had done with every bet that had made over the months they had been together. This was his desperate attempt to bring her back. It was the same as when he kissed her the day after he surgery. 24 hours after she was supposed to wake up. He was desperate.

Usually, she would squeeze his hand and pull him into a kiss to seal the bet, so he settled with brushing his lips against her forehead. Sealing it for them.

"Deal." He breathed against her forehead, and he could have sworn he felt her fingers tighten around his. 

 As if to say 'deal'.

Chapter Text

October 2024 – After the Mexican Grand Prix

The apartment was in good taste, modest in size, but had an open floor layout with one bedroom and a small alcove off the main living area that had been indented for an office, but had been made into a gaming den instead. The entryway lead into the kitchen with a long island that held many memories or late-night dinners, catching up after time apart, and baking dance parties. Every piece of furniture didn’t match the one next to it but held a million little memories from before.

Before everything changed.

Now, Lando felt like a stranger in his own apartment. The photos of them that had once lines the mismatched bookshelves framing the large window that looked over the water were gone. Marks in the dust were the only evidence that they even existed. His trophies and mini helmets had been removed from the shelves around his gaming computer, it was like he had never lived there. Never existed there.

He didn’t even want to think about what lay beyond the closed bedroom door. Everything that she had erased after moving back into the apartment.

“Thank you for coming.” She said, standing on the other side of the island from him. Her hair was damp, and she was in an oversized hoodie. If he got any closer he would probably smell the berries from her shampoo, so he stayed where he was. “I know you’re schedule can be grueling.”

“I was coming back anyways; my other place is just up the street.” He mentioned the other residence after the look on her face, the residence that had been in boxes and still was since he had moved back. Lando forced himself to shrug. “I’m off to Brazil tomorrow.”

“Where did you come from?”

“Mexico.” He said, trying to keep the devastation that she was no longer watching off his face.

“That’s a long flight.” Lando shrugged again, trying his best to ignore the desire to step close to her. To remind her why he sometimes made these short trips home, the same reason they had gotten the apartment. At least why she had gotten the apartment, but he had helped her financially. Monaco wasn’t exactly in a pro snowboarder’s salary, and it was far from any of her training facilities. Still, it was something they both wanted, and used often. He was sure there were still drawers in the bedroom that held some of his clothes. Some of his clothes had made it into her drawers, those pieces that she loved lounging in.

Like the sweater she was wearing.

“First class isn’t so bad.” He offered, and she smiled which threatened to take his breath away.

“I may not have my memories, but I know you have a private jet.” Her smile faltered at her own words, and it was struggle for Lando to ignore her comment.

“The team does.” Lando said, his voice strained as he looked down at the island counter. “I don’t.”

“Right.” She said, and for a moment neither of them spoke, nor did they look at each other. It wasn’t until Lando cleared his throat that any sound came from either of them.

“Anyways, I have the paperwork from the lawyer.” Lando opened the folder her had been holding and slid it across towards her. “It’s pretty simple, I’m letting you buy me out for the amount there.” He pointed and she leaned forward looking the document over.

“That’s not what this place is worth.” She said from where she was leaning over the counter, her head tilted up to look at him and he felt his knees weak. Memories flashed behind his eyes of her bent over the counter, a very different expression on her face.

He forced himself to ignore that part of his brain. To silence it.

It didn’t work.

“I know.” He said focusing on the document on the counter. “But the price I bought it for after…” he swallowed, “I was just desperate to get everything taken care of.” He didn’t look at her, despite her watching him intently. “I didn’t think about negotiating a price.”

“This isn’t even a quarter of what this place is worth.”

“I know, but…” he trailed off, realizing something, “you’re thinking of selling?” Her eyes widened slightly, and she shook her head.

“No, no. I don’t want to sell.” He let out a breath, one that he didn’t realize he had been holding. “There were documents here, when I got here,” she opened a drawer near the fridge and lifted out a stack of documents, “they had information about what this place was worth and what it would go for in the market, well, the market last year.” Lando’s heart broke slightly. “That’s who much I was prepared to give you, or at least close to it.” She slid the documents across the counter.

“I didn’t buy this place to make a profit on it.” He said, forcing himself to focus on the document in front of him, but not to focus on what it meant. “This is how much you’re share would have been if we split it.”

“But we didn’t split it did we?” He shoved the thought from his mind that she was probably on her tiptoes judging by the way she was leaning over the counter.

“No,” he forced out grinding his teeth slightly trying to stop the heating of his blood, “we didn’t.”

“So, why won’t you let me buy you out.”

“I am.”

“But that’s not what the place it worth now.” She said motioning to the second document. Lando refrained from telling her that it wasn’t what the place was worth back when he bought it either, not even close.

“Arabella.” He said, his tone warning. Her eyebrows shot up and he got a sensation of déjà vu as her face twisted in preparation for an argument.

“What?” Lando’s gaze met hers, and he forced himself to keep his tone even. He didn’t want to argue with her, not even a little bit.

“Just take it.” He said, trying his best not to be condescending. He ignored the feeling of excitement he got whenever she started on an argument, somehow, even when she was yelling at him. He was madly in love with her. The corner of his mouth twitched.

“Okay.” She said conceding. “If that’s what you want.” She grabbed a pen.

“This is what you want.” He said, against his better judgement.

“What?” Arabella lifted her head, the pen pressed to the page. “No, I…” She lifted the pen shaking her head. “This isn’t what I want.”

“What?”

“I wanted to paint a wall.” She said the words tumbling out. “That’s all.” Lando’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “I can’t make changes to the property without your approval. Since you are the co-owner, and well the one who pays the condo fees.” She motioned to the document in front of her, still un-signed. “According to my lawyer, this is the easiest solution.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever fucking heard.” He said, once again without thinking.

“I know.” She said and he let out a breathless laugh. “I thought about just taking my name off of it. I have the townhouse with the boys and the commute from Monaco isn’t exactly easy…”

“Why didn’t you?” He pushed and her eyes widened slightly. His tone wasn’t as friendly as it probably should have been, but he was exhausted and being in the apartment, in that situation, it was the most confusing and devastating situation he had been in.

“I don’t know.” She said, and he struggled to hide the annoyance on his face. He wasn’t annoyed with her, just the situation. “When I came back to see it, to pack up some things, it just felt like home.” Arabella turned from him, looking over the apartment. Her shoulders shrugged. “It felt like mine.”

“That’s because it is.” Lando cocked his head to the side. “What did you want to paint?” She bit her lip, her eyes dropping to the counter, and he knew he was going to regret asking.

“The bedroom.” She admitted, her tone near silent. Her eyes never looked up, she only looked down at the imaginary piece of dirt she was picking off the counter. “It’s the only part of this apartment that feels slightly foreign to me, like it’s not mine.”

Yeah, he regretted asking. He didn’t speak for a few moments, words not being a possibility until he wrapped his mind around what she had said. It wasn’t until she looked up at him and he saw that the words had pained her too.

“I can write a letter to the board, saying that you have the authority to make any changes to the property as long as they approve them.” He forced a smile, ignoring the sliver of hope that had wiggled its way into his heart.

“I…” She looked down again, biting her lip. If Lando thought he had been hurt enough by having the knock at the door of his own apartment or hearing that the love of his life needed to paint the bedroom to get away from the feeling of it. He had never expected to be so wrong.

“You want a clean break.” He breathed, understanding it not just by the look on her face, but because he also knew the way her brain worked.

“I’m not going to turn around and sell this place. I promise.” She looked up at him, and he wished she hadn’t. “It just feels weird being here and feeling like this is my home, but it’s not, at least not on paper. It’s a home I shared with….”

“Me.” Lando finished for her, nodding. It was his turn to focus on the counter.

“I’m sorry.”

“I get it.” Arabella moved then, making her way around the counter. Lando forced himself to back up, to match every step she took forward with one backwards. “It’s okay.”

“I can’t keep waiting for my memories to come back.” Her voice was low, and he refrained from looking at her. “And neither can you.” He couldn’t look at her, he had to look anywhere but at her face.

“I’ll hire someone to come get my stuff, I don’t know when the next time I’ll be back in Monaco.” His mouth was working faster than his brain was. He wasn’t quite understanding what he was saying, but when he looked up at Arabella, she understood. “I noticed you took all the photos down.”

“I did.” She nodded, glancing around the apartment. “It’s hard looking at photos of memories I don’t remember.” Lando nodded, understanding why she did it. He glanced around the apartment, looking at all the now empty shelves.

“You kept those ones.” He said motioning to two photos that had remained on the shelves.

“Those are my roommates.”

“I know.” She narrowed her eyes slightly at him. “I took them.”

“I…” She paused, and it was enough time for Lando to decide that he didn’t want to hear her explanation.

“It’s just interesting that those are the ones you kept.”

“Why?” Her tone was defensive, and for a moment he considered backing down.

“Their from the weekend of your…” he trailed off, his throat closing around the words. He cleared it, forcing himself to swallow the lump that had started to form. “It was snowing so hard everything thought the competition was going to be cancelled or postponed, and it was, but just by one day. You guys didn’t know that then,” he motioned to the photo although he kept his gaze on her face, gaging her reaction, “you decided that instead of staying inside where it was warm and cozy you wanted to go sledding.”

“I did?” Arabella pointed at her chest. He nodded. She took a few steps towards the photo and pulled it off the shelf. Running her hand over it, like she could somehow unlock the memory within her mind.

“I took that one.” Lando went on, not giving her time to tell him to stop. “There’s another one, from that day. It’s of you and I. It was…” the lump came back in his throat, and he felt his eyes start to sting at the memory, “it was a really good day.” He turned away from her then, blinking back the tears that had started to form.

“Lando, I’m so sorry.” She said, but he didn’t turn to see her, her tone was soft and sincere it almost broke him, and he wasn’t sure just how much more he would be able to take. “If there was something I could do, to get my memories back I would, but I can’t. I’ve tried everything, short of some magical kiss from my prince charming, but I doubt that would work.” She let out a short laugh.

“I tried it, it didn’t work.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Her eyes widened.

“What?”

“When you were…” he swallowed over the lump, “I kissed you. Everyone was telling me to keep moving forward with my life, but I didn’t want too, not without you.” His voice was breaking, and he wasn’t sure if he cared, or if he should care. “I thought it would wake you up.”

“I did wake up.” Lando cursed the sliver of hope for growing inside of him. “I just don’t remember the feelings I had for you.” It was the truth, and it stung, but there was something in her face that made Lando take a step towards her. “I want to remember, I wish I did, but I don’t, and I can’t keep waiting around for them to come back to me. And neither can you.”

“Why not?” He challenged, taking another step towards her.

“Because what if they never come back.”

“Then I’ll take you back through it all.” Another step. “I’ll take you back to the first moment I saw you, to the first moment I knew that Max wasn’t good enough for you,” another step, he could reach out and touch her now, “to the first time that I knew I was so madly in love with you that there was nothing I wouldn’t do just to see you smile. That there was no amount of miles I wouldn’t travel just to spend a few minutes in your presence.” Her breath hitched and he took another step towards her reaching out he took her hand. “I spent too long requesting rooms next to Max or waiting up for you on patios across the world to just give up.”

There was silver lining her eyes, and when a tear slid free he reached out with his free hand a brushed it away with his thumb.

“I will take you on our first date again, I’ll give you every piece of me, or my…” his finger trailed over the ring wrapped around her pinky, “I’ll do it all over again.” Lando took a deep breath, cupping her face with his hand.

“Lando, I can’t let you do that.”

“Why not?” He demanded, his town harsher than he wanted and her eyes widened.

“Because I can’t go through life pretending that the feelings I had for you before my accident are the same ones that I feel now.” She swallowed, reaching up she brushed a strand of his hair from his eyes, he closed his eyes as her fingertips brushed his forehead. A shiver went up his spine. “When you look at me, you’re looking at the woman you love, but when I look at you I only see Max’ teammate. I don’t remember falling in love with you, and I won’t put you through being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back.”

Despite himself, Lando snorted.

“I told you once that when I finally told you I loved you there would be no going back, and I meant it.” He breathed. “So, I can spend the rest of my life attempting to recreate those moments, because loving you, Arabella, is the second greatest accomplishment of my life.” She shuddered under his touch, his hand still on her face.

“What’s the first?” She whispered, and he felt her holding her breath. “World championship?”

“No, I haven’t won that yet, but we had a deal.” He smiled, and she looked confused. “I don’ think you’ll ever remember that one, you were asleep.” The corner of her lips twitched.

“Then what is it? The greatest accomplishment of your life?”

“Being loved by you.” He whispered and the way she looked at him then, made him not care. Not care about the apartment, the accident, not having her at his races, not coming home to her dancing in the kitchen. All he cared about was that she was here.

She was breathing.

Maybe it was the shock, or his words, either way when Lando leaned in slightly, she didn’t back away, and when he kept going she didn’t stop him. Not even as their lips met, and he poured every last piece of himself and his heart into that kiss.

Praying it was enough.

November 2024

“Seriously, how have you never invited us here before?” Benny commented as he walked through the apartment in Monaco. Arabella rolled her eyes setting plates down on the island next to where Vlad had placed cutlery and an entire roll of paper towel.

“No, that goes on the coffee table.” She said motioning to the paper towel. “You guys are a mess and you’re not ruining my new rug.” Vlad rolled his eyes but obeyed.

Arabella was sure before her accident she had seen them like this a lot. Wearing sweatpants, t-shirts, their hair sticking up and disheveled from sleeping. Vlad was even shirtless. However, it felt weird to her then. Maybe it was the fact that they were in her apartment, which Benny had no issue reminding her she had never done. Amnesia or no.

The apartment had felt like home from the moment she had walked through the door, but there was something different about this place. The townhouse also felt like home, but more of a working home. When she was there she was focused on snowboarding and training. In Monaco, she was more relaxed. Almost like the apartment was her favorite vacation spot, one that she apparently didn’t share with a lot of people.

“You know she doesn’t know the answer to that question.” Vlad called back from the coffee table since no one else was answering Benny. Arabella included. She smiled.

“I’m assuming it’s because you guys are a mess, you’ve been here less than 24 hours, and it already smells like a boys locker room in here.” She crinkled her nose as Seb giggled. “Remind me to send you a bill for the air fresheners I’m going to need after this.” Vlad rolled his eyes but checked his armpit.

“I’m taking offense to that.” Benny said going back to his snooping. It wasn’t a very big place, but somehow Benny had taken most of the day going through and looking at every little thing. Almost like he was trying to get out of doing anything helpful. “Can we try this?” Benny asked, motioning to the gaming set up that was still in the alcove off the living area.

“I wouldn’t even know how to turn it on.” Arabella said honestly, turning her back to the equipment. Her attention shifted to where Vlad was stretching, his golden tanned and muscular skin on full display. She had to admit with his shaggy black hair that was a mess, he was attractive. Very. And with his accent.

“Please don’t go there again.” Seb said letting out a low groan. Snapping out her fixation on Vlad, who was distracted by something on the television, she glanced around making sure that Benny didn’t hear what Seb had said.

“What are you taking about?” Seb made a pointed look towards were Vlad was standing. Sweatpants hanging low on his hips. Arabella shook her head. “Not happening.”

“What? How long has it been? Oh right, you don’t remember.” She shot him a look and he took a step back chuckling.

“Even if I was thinking about it, which I’m not because I’m convinced I’m not ready, he’s my roommate.”

“I do believe a very drunk Arabella told me more than once that she didn’t care.” He said and she looked for something to throw at him.

“Drunk Arabella, and sober Arabella are two very different people.”

“Don’t we all know it.” Benny said coming up to them. “What are you talking about?”

“Arabella blowing off some steam.” Seb said, too quickly for Arabella to inject anything.

“Oh please, you’re a menace when you aren’t being serviced regularly.”

“Serviced!” This time Arabella did pick up a pen and threw it at him. Benny laughed, dodging it easily.

“Come on, Benny’s words were a little, inappropriate but our point remains. It’s been a long time; you deserve to have a little fun. Do a little horizontal tango.” She groaned, rubbing her face with her hands.

“This is not the type of conversation I want to be having with you guys.” She said and Benny smiled in a mischievous way that made her want to run in the opposite direction.

“Come on, how long has it been?” Seb and she looked between Seb’s concerned and caring look and Benny’s mischievous and scary one. For a moment she thought about not telling the, of literally running into her bedroom and locking the door, but they were her friends. Her roommates and she definitely remembered talking about sex with them before, she just didn’t understand why this time it felt weird. It felt different.

Finally, she shrugged. “I don’t know exactly, like two months?” Seb and Benny looked at each other.

“But that would mean…” Benny said and then his face twisted in disgust.

“What?”

“That’s when you were with Max, sort of.” Seb explained and she looked between the two of them. Both of them had looks of disgust on their face, although Seb was far better at hiding it than Benny was. Even Vlad had come closer, his nose scrunched as he put the pieces together.

“So?” None of them spoke for a few moments, as she looked between them. “You guys don’t like Max?”

“Most definitely not.” Benny said, using his arms for emphasis.

“Why not?”

“He broke your heart for starters.” Seb said before Benny could say anything.

“Well, no one decided to tell me that little piece of information after I woke up, so I thought I was still in love with him.”

“I genuinely don’t think you were ever in love with that man.” Vlad commented, which made her head snap in his direction. He just shrugged and stepped backwards looking at the television again.

“You seriously just told me I needed to get serviced, and now you’re pissed because of the person I got serviced with?” Her words made a lot more sense in her mind, when she was trying to come up with a way to explain her frustration without using to explicit of words. She regretted it almost immediately as Benny’s look of disgust was paired with an eyeroll. She looked for something to throw at him again.

“That’s not it, it’s just…” Seb trailed off, looking at Benny who held his hands up and took a step back. “If we would have known, we would have told you.”

“Well, you can blame everyone who decided listening to the doctors was a better idea that telling me the truth.” She shook her head. “Everyone walked on eggshells around me, terrified I was going to break again. It’s why no one knew I even woke up for awhile.” It still made her feel guilty that Katie hadn’t known for so long, and the boys.

“You also made us promise not to talk about the missing six months, so you’re not much better.” Vlad said his focus still on the television.

Suddenly the room went completely silent, even the television seemed to quiet itself as everyone turned to Vlad who just kept watching television. Benny gave a sideways glance at Seb who winced as Arabella took a step around the counter.

“That’s not the same.” She said, her tone inching towards dangerous territory. Benny even took a step backwards.

“Isn’t it?” He turned to look at her. Glancing at Benny and Seb and raising his eyebrows for a moment before he turned back to Arabella. “You beat the odds Bell, you woke up when statistically speaking you shouldn’t have. You are practically a walking miracle. So, of course when the doctors told them that any extra stress could cause your symptoms to worsen? Of course, they tried to protect you.”

“Vlad.” Seb said in a warning, but he ignored it. Arabella stayed silent, her hand gripping the side of the counter.

“But you don’t want to hear about the missing six months, why?” Silence. “You had no issue hearing about what went on while you were in a coma.”

“I just want to move on.” She said her tone wavering. She felt Seb take a step towards her, but he didn’t reach out to her. Didn’t touch her. She wasn’t sure what she would do if he did.

“You don’t even know what you’re moving on from.” Vlad said, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I know this is all hard for you, but what Max did to you was wrong, and how you handled it was almost worse. But when you came out the other side you were so incredibly happy, we’ve never seen you that way.”

“So, I got out of a bad relationship and into a better one, I don’t remember it.”

“You didn’t just get into a good relationship Bell, that man was the love of your life. The kind of love you used to read about in those cushy little romance books you packed when we drove to comps.”

“I don’t remember it.” She said, her eyes stinging out of nowhere. Her anger had shifted into something else, something that she didn’t understand. “I don’t remember him.”

“We do.” Seb said, finally coming close enough to touch her, he rested a hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t want to know.”

“Bull shit.” Benny said, and Seb snapped his head towards him. Even Vlad raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Why’s all his stuff still here?”

“There’s someone coming to pick it up next week.” She said her voice shaking. “After he let me buy him out of the apartment, he said he’d hire someone to do it.”

“What about this.” Benny said coming up to the counter he set a photo down on the counter. Arabella wasn’t sure how he found it, maybe he had when he was snooping through her apartment. Her breath caught as the photo slid across the counter. Seb and Vlad walked up to it.

“Where have I seen that photo before?” Vlad asked.

“On her bedside table, in the hospital.” Seb answered and Arabella’s eyes widened. “This was taken the day before your accident, Lando put it there. He said it was to remind you of the greatest moment of his life.” Something inside Arabella’s chest tightened, and it suddenly became harder to breath. “A reminder of everything you had waiting for you when you woke up.” Seb glanced at Benny. “Where did you find it?”

“It was in my bedside table.” She said. “When you asked me for the Advil...” Benny nodded and she couldn’t even be mad at him for snooping, she had told him to look in the drawer for the Advil forgetting that’s where she had tucked the photo before the boys had arrived.

“All the other photos of the two of you are in a box in next to his gaming stuff, but not this one. Why?”

“I don’t know.” She said truthfully, taking the photo in her hands. It was a photo of her, mid laugh, with Lando’s arm around her and his face turned to look at her. Snow fell around them, and their cheeks were red with the cold. Both of them looked so incredibly happy. “I just couldn’t get rid of it.”

Brazil Grand Prix

Lando was standing outside of his car, wearing a pair of black jeans and a McLaren hoodie, his arms folded over his chest and his eyes fixated on the cockpit of his car. Around him mechanics were working on getting the kinks out of the car before qualifying that afternoon. Engineers and strategists were working behind him at their stations and for the most part no one paid him much attention. They glanced at him, some whispered curiously as to why he was there, but no one bothered him.

Almost no one.

“Is there something wrong with it?” The head mechanic asked coming up beside Lando. He had a rag in his hand and judging by the sweat on his brow he had been working hard. Lando gave him a short glance before he motioned back to the car.

“No.” He said, which was half the truth, “not mechanically anyways.” The mechanic raised his eyebrows rubbing his hands with the rag.

“Then what is it?”

“If you have time, can you remove that for me?” He asked motioning towards the inner wall of the cockpit. There were a few stickers, and other little bits of personalization on the car. A few photos, one in particular he wanted taken off.

The mechanic raised both his eyebrows. “Isn’t that the girl we made the ring for?” Lando nodded. "I thought she was your girl?" 

“Not anymore.” Lando said, turning back to the photo. “And never again.”

It was a minimal task, one that wasn’t critical to qualifying, but Lando knew that he wouldn’t perform his best if she was in the cockpit with him. She wanted him out of her life, and despite being stubborn. It was just a reminder of the words she said to him after he kissed her in their apartment.

Now it was her apartment, officially.

“We’ll get it done.” Lando nodded.

“Thank you.” The mechanic nodded and walked away, pulling one of the less senior mechanics to the side, presumably to give him the job of removing the photograph from the cockpit.

It was a photo of Lando and Arabella, she was mid laugh, and he was looking at her. He hadn’t even realized he had taken a photo until a few days later when he was looking through his phone for photos of her. It had been the moment he realized that he had everything, right before he had lost it.

That day he had kissed her knowing it would be forever, in her apartment he kissed her and realized he had been wrong.  

Chapter Text

September 2023 - Italian Grand Prix

Arabella let out a loud, annoyed, groan as Lando shifted his weight to move the tangle of dirty blond hair that had somehow found its way into his face while they slept. He shifted his body further, so he could look down at her face just as she scrunched her nose and buried her head further into the crook of his neck. She gave him an annoyed smack on the chest that made him chuckle.

“Why are you moving?” She hissed as his need to see her face overpowered the desire to let her sleep, he continued to shift sliding her head onto the pillow. She groaned again, pressing her nose into the pillow. Smiling, Lando wrapping am around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him, forcing her to face him again. “Seriously.” She gave him another annoyed smack on his chest, but still nestled herself closer into him.

“I wanted to make sure you were real.” He whispered, only speaking after her eyes had drifted close again and there was a possibility she couldn’t hear him. He wasn’t sure how someone could look so stunning in the morning, especially when she was scrunching her nose out of annoyance and her hair an absolute mess around her face. Brushing a few strands from her face, one of her eyelids slid open, focusing on him.

“Don’t do that.” She said, her voice dripping with sleep. The hand that had smacked him slid up his chest and her fingers now sliding through his hair. Lando leaned into her, resting his nose in her head.

“Do what?”

“Make me sad this early in the morning.” He couldn’t see her face anymore, but he was certain her eyes had closed again. If it would have been possible to pull her closer to him, he would have.

“Why does that make you sad?” He felt her push away from him and he let her, just enough so that he could look down at her, but no further.

“You woke up thinking this wasn’t real.” A frown found her lips, sleep still dripped from her eyes as they struggled to stay open. “That you imagined this, but I’m real.”

“I know.” He pressed his lips to her forehead and tracing patterns on her bare shoulder with his fingers. “I woke up not believing I had gotten so lucky.”

“You deserve to be happy. You’re a future world champion.”

“Just because I’m good at me job, doesn’t mean I deserve to be happy.” Her eyes slid closed as he spoke. “Sometimes what I do on the track makes me think the opposite.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Her shoulder shrugged underneath his hand. “But I know you, not just driver you, but you you,” she took a breath, her eyes sliding opening just to meet his, “and you Lando Norris deserve the world on a silver platter.” Something inside Lando’s chest tightened at the sound of his name on her lips. It didn’t’ help that she was also naked and in his bed, curled up in his arms. “Even if you can be an asshole behind the wheel.” Her lips twisted mischievously and one of her eyes slipped open to look at him as he barked a laugh. Arabella started to shake with silent laughter.

“I am not an asshole driver.” Lando said sliding his hand down along her body. He felt he shift into his touch. Felt her body respond to his touch just before he pinched her side in a place that he knew she was ticklish, and she squealed. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her to him while she tried to squirm away and locking her in place.

Her giggles filled the hotel room as Lando continued his assault on her. She squirmed and squealed, and he loved every second of it. Laughing as she tried and failed to get away from him. Her body turned towards him, her nose brushing against his and for a split second their lips met for a split second. Just enough for him to loosen his grip.

In a flash she was gone. When he opened his eyes he found Arabella standing beside the bed, a sheet wrapped around herself. He couldn’t hide the annoyance from his face or stop himself from reaching for her. Both seemed to make her smile. “Come back here.” His grumbled, his hand reaching only empty bed.

“No.” She said that mischievous smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Lando pushed himself across the empty bed, reaching the edge he swung his legs over the edge and stood letting the rest of the blankets fall away from him. He reached for her but his fingers only found the sheet and he tugged. Playfully she let it fall, jumping out from it’s grasp and further away from him.

For a moment, Lando was frozen in place.

There was always a moment, usually when he first woke up in the morning, where he expected it to be a dream. Where he expected to wake up to his life of sitting out on patios waiting for her to slip out of Max’s hotel room for some air. Then when the realization hit him that this wasn’t a dream, that it was real, he felt like the luckiest man in the world.

Now, Arabella Van Dijk was standing dressed in nothing but a pair of black panties and a mischievous smile on her fae that he knew was only for him.

“God, you’re perfect.” He breathed and her smile shifting from pure mischief to something that resembled shock and pure happiness. Crossing the room towards him she moved slowly, painfully slowly, and he fought the urge to reach for her to yank her to him. He wanted to take in this moment, imprint the way she looked into his memory. Forever. “I don’t need the world, Arabella. I just need you.” Her smile faltered slightly, and her eyes widened slightly. “With or without the silver platter.” Whatever was on her face was gone as she giggled, biting her lip to stop herself.

If there had been any moment in Arabella’s life where she thought ‘that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen’, she had been wrong. Oh, so wrong. Nothing, absolutely nothing compared to having Lando Norris in nothing buy a mess of brown curls, his boxers and a look on his face that had no words to describe it. He was looking at her like she was the most beautiful creature in the world but also like she was his next meal. The way his eyes dragged across her body, it was like he thought if he reached out and touched her she would disappear and he wanted to take in every inch of her, but also struggling to hold back from grabbing her and devouring her whole.

That look could bring her to her knees alone.

“You have me.” She breathed, slowing walking towards him, making sure he heard every word. Being loved by Lando Norris had changed het, and she needed, desperately, for him to know that. Know how happy it made her, how amazing he made her feel with just a look. She had never felt so seen and so understood before in her life. Knowing that he was by her side, and would never leave, made her feel like she could do anything. “All of me.” She reached him, but he didn’t touch her, just watched her as she lifted her hand and placed it over his heart. “Forever.”

“Promise?” He breathed, and she smiled.

“Promise.” She breathed and she watched as something snapped in Lando’s mind. He grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her in the most possessive way possible yanking her against him. His kissed mirrored the possessiveness, claiming every inch of her mouth. She matched him, making sure that she was claiming him in every way that he was claiming her.

His hands slid down her back and he groaned as she arched her bare chest into his. She felt the evidence of how badly he wanted her move against her as he slid down underneath her thighs and lifted her so that Arabella could wrap her legs around his waist. Before she knew it they were moving, him carrying her not to the bed but into the bathroom.

Lando only put her down long enough to tear her underwear from her body and slide off his own before she was wrapped around him again. He was still kissing her when the water turned on, only breaking apart to ask a simple one worded question.

“Condom?” He breathed, his eyes desperate and hungry, but he waited until she gave him a two-word response.

“Birth control.” Even though he knew that she was on the pill, she was thankful he still asked and did every time they got together. Making sure that she was okay negating the condom, no mater how many times they went without one. His thoughtfulness towards her, it twisted something inside of her. Making her not sure desire him but need him.

When he was sure she was sure, he kissed her again and stepped under the water keeping her wrapped around him. He kissed her hard, and long, pressing her against the wall of the shower his hands desperate as they traveled over her body. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him as physically close as possible her fingers sliding through his wet hair.

“You don’t have to hold me up the whole time.” She breathed, between desperate and heavy kisses. “You have a race this weekend, you need too…” Her words were cut off by a gasp as he entered her. He groaned at the feeling of being inside her and the sound paired with the feeling of him moving inside of her was enough to make her knees weak. Made the ground shift from underneath her.

“Arabella, I’m going to fuck you the way I want to fuck you,” he moved as he spoke eliciting more gasps from her as he moved devastatingly slow inside of her, “and then I’m going to win in Italy this weekend.” God, she was going to finish way to soon. “And when I’m holding that trophy up you’ll know that I won because of my newest pre-race ritual.” He lifted her leg slightly and she gasped, gripping his shoulder for dear life her nails digging into his skin.

Scratch that, that was the most attractive thing she had ever seen, or rather heart, but the way his face looked when he said it. The possessiveness in his eyes, the dominance in the way that he moved inside of her. He gripped her like she was his lifeline and kissed her like she was oxygen and he had been deprived of it. That was the most attractive thing she had ever experienced.

If this was his new pre-race ritual, she was so fucked.

Literally.

As the podium celebrations at the Italian Grand Prix started, people gathered around to watch the top three drivers hoist their trophies over their head and spray champagne at each other. Engineers and mechanics cheered, fans called out their favorite driver’s names, and when the national anthems played people sang along at the tops of their voices.

Arabella stood among the Red Bull mechanics who worked on Lando’s side of the garage, the ones that were ecstatic about his first-place win. More than once one of them bumped into her during their celebrations, but she hardly noticed. Her attention was more focused on Lando as he smacked his champagne bottle on the podium platform which was now deemed his signature move by social media. He turned to the crowd as they cheered a little louder for him and stuck his tongue out, making more than one female shriek in excitement.

Of course, he had credited his win to his knew pre-race ritual, something that made her eye roll, although she had to admit watching him celebrate and spray champagne everywhere. All she wanted was to make his pre-race ritual into a post-race ritual as well.

She probably wouldn’t have any objection on the matter. Unless of course he was tired.

Lando made his way to the railing, as the podium celebrations came to a close. He found Arabella in the crowd, and with a mischievous smile he hoisted his first-place trophy in the air, pointed right at her and winked.

Scratch that, there was going to be no objection.

Between the Italian Grand Prix & the Singapore Grand Prix

When someone banging on her bedroom door waking Arabella from her dream she sat up and threw her pillow at the door as hard as she could, ignoring the sleeping man in the bed beside her.

“I swear to go, I am going to skin whichever one you are alive.” She seethed. Lando who was slower to react looked around the room confused and drenched in sleep. If she wasn’t so angry she would have thought he looked hot; messy hair, naked chest, the way his eyes were still dripping with sleep. When he spoke, she just knew his voice would be groggy and orgasm inducing.

Her words silenced whoever was on the other side of the door, but she knew better than to slid back into bed. Feet were shuffling and she could hear someone snicker as another whispered. “Come on Arry…” Vlad’s tone was playful, but it only made her blood boil more.

She was sure she looked crazy, her hair an absolute mess from having the best sex of her life and then sleeping more soundly than she had in a long time. Not to mention she was fuming, glaring at the door like it had crossed her.

Or like it had woken her up at 6:30 in the morning.

“Vladislav Ivan Khadarin.” She hissed, using his full name.

She should have known better.

“Ohhh, she full-named you.”

“Arabella Puck Van Dijk.” Vlad shot back, and she saw Lando’s eyebrows raise at her middle name from where she was kneeling.

“Your middle name is Puck?” He asked, his voice even better than she remembered from the last time she had woken up next to him. Something twisted in her stomach, but she was too angry to notice. Looking down at him, she forced her features to soften, but judging by the look on Lando’s face, it didn’t work very well.

“My parents had a thing for Shakespeare.” She admitted, Lando smiled sitting up against the headboard.

“And Arry? Where does that come from?” God she wanted to jump his bones.

“Those idiots.” She nodded towards the door, too aware of their presence on the other side of it.

“Hey! We can hear you!” Benny yelled and Arabella rolled her eyes.

“You wouldn’t be able to hear me if you were sleeping, like any normal person would be at this early on their day off.”

“Did she just call us normal?” Benny said, his voice sounded hurt, which only made Arabella roll her eyes again. Lando looked at the door his brows furrowed. God, how weird must this be for him? Her stomach rolled in a mixture of embarrassment and guilt. She had convinced him to come over, to stay for a few days between races and this wasn’t exactly the best pre-race atmosphere.

“It’s okay man, she didn’t mean it.” Another eye roll. “Arabella Puck Van Dijk you just hurt Benny’s feelings.” Lando’s shook in silent laughter. “There is no need to be so hostile this morning, now come on out like you promised or else we’re coming in.”

She was going to murder them.

“What did you promise them?” Lando asked, his hand sliding over the bed, he rested it on her bare leg.

“I didn’t promise shit.” She hissed, shooting the door another glare, urging them to go away.

“Come on now Bella, you lost fair and square.”

“Fuuccckkk.” She groaned, throwing herself back into the bed and tugging the duvet to cover her.

“You better not be naked Bella, because we’re coming in!” Someone called, she couldn’t quiet tell who from her cocoon underneath the duvet. When she poked her head out from her safe haven, she winced at what she was about to put Lando through.

Seb, Vlad and Benny were now standing in her room, one arm outstretched as if they were going to run into something and their other covering their eyes. They were all dressed identically in red stripped short shorts, red tank tops, sweat bands around their biceps and foreheads and knee high red and white socks. Arabella let out another groan.

“Are you decent?” Seb asked, poking his eye between his fingers. When he realized that they were as decent as they were going to get. Lando shirtless and Arabella in his t-shirt but both covered by the duvet the three of them lowered their hands.

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” Lando asked, looking mildly alarmed by the matching outfits, not to mention it was just after 6:30 in the morning.

“I owe them breakfast.” She said, poking her head out further.

“Breakfast?” Lando didn’t look convinced as he turned back to the boys.

“Come on now Arry, don’t leave out the best part.”

“Stop calling me that.” She hissed, but Vlad’s smile just grew.

“She lost a bet.” He finished.

“A bet.” Benny nodded, too enthusiastically.

“And now she owes us breakfast and a game of dodgeball.”

“Dodgeball?” Lando still didn’t look convinced, and Arabella didn’t blame him in the slightest.

“The outfits make sense now.” Benny puffed his chest out as if he was proud. Arabella mumbled something under hear breath, sitting up and running a hand through her hair.

“It’s boys versus girls, if you want in.” Seb offered and Vlad shot him a look but didn’t say anything.

“Again, you don’t have to if you don’t want too.” Arabella said reaching out she grabbed Lando’s hand giving him a reassuring squeeze. She prayed he didn’t feel overwhelmed or hated how crazy her roommates were. Even she had to admit that sometimes it felt more like a frat house than anything else.  They either spent their time during something stupid or competitive, usually both, and it only got worse during the season because they each at a point to prove.

“You’ll seriously want to when you see what outfit she has to wear.” Arabella’s mouth fell open.

“Don’t tell me Katie agreed to it.”

“She didn’t have a choice.” Benny said, his chest puffed out again. “You both lost fair and square.” Arabella groaned grabbing her face.

Lando must think they were nuts. That she was crazy.

Insane.

Out of her mind.

A lunatic.

Bad shit crazy.

“Sounds like fun.” Lando said and Arabella fought to hide her surprise. “I’m in.”

Turns out the way Arabella and her roommate’s played dodgeball was in the Red Bull facilities indoor trampoline park that was just a little ways farther than the snow park from the townhouse. Trampolines of different sizes were built into the raised floor of the high-ceilinged room that looked more like a warehouse from the outside. Foam pits littered the spaces between trampolines, along with crash mats that hung on the walls or were left on trampolines. There was an area in the back that was cages off, platforms jutting out from the walls at different heights and crash mats that looked extra thick.

Benny claimed that he knew the combination to the keypad protected door but judging by the look on Arabella and Seb’s fae, neither of them had seen proof.

Vlad was already inside when Arabella, Katie and Lando walked through the door, he had Seb putting dodgeballs along a walkway that separated two identical trampolines. The trampolines were meant for synchronized trampoline practice, they shared two long foam pits and had another walkway on the backside of each.

They were also perfect for trampoline dodgeball, apparently.

Lando had always thought of himself as athletic, as above average since his sport demanded it of him, which gave him a sense of confidence going into the game. Even if it was misplaced. It took seconds, actual seconds, before he realized just how in over his head he was. It was just the length of time it took him to run forward, grab a ball and throw it at Kaite, thinking he would catch her by surprise, only to have her backflip out of the way and throw her ball at him hitting him dead in the chest.

It hit him then that he wasn’t just playing trampoline dodgeball with world-cup athletes, he was playing it with athletes who performed fancy tricks for a living, who had probably trained those tricks on these very trampolines.

He couldn’t stop it, his jaw hit the floor. Especially as Arabella turned into a blur of limbs in a flash and landed, perfectly, with the biggest smile on her face. The way her tongue slid over her teeth as she eyed her targets, lowering herself as if she was a lion and Vlad was the gazelle. She was stunning, her cheeks flushed, hair falling out from her braid, her eyes wide and wild.

God, he could watch her forever.

“How did you guys come up with this?” Lando asked, after Seb had ended up on the sidelines with him during the second game.

“It’s a common game among park athletes, it gets kids comfortable being in the air while also building their special awareness while they’re in the air.” He shrugged. “I hadn’t played since I was a kid, but the girls, they played it all the time since they coached a little on the side.”

“They’re coaches?”

“They used to volunteer at a camp that Red Bull had for new athletes to the sport, or any sport that involves being in the air. Park, halfpipe, parkour, skateboarding, honestly anything. I think the one-year Bella even said they got a kid who wanted to become a professional sky diver. He was seven.” Lando eyebrows lifted to his hairline.

“That sounds like fun.”

“During the offseason they both volunteer at this camp for park athletes. Well, it was during our off season, they attract anyone from snowboarders, skiers, to parkour athletes and even some skateboarders.” The way Seb was smiling, Lando assumed that he had once attended said camp.

“That’s why the girls are so good.” Seb nodded.

“They are a lot better than the rest of us, just don’t tell Vlad I said as much.” Lando nodded, glancing towards where Vlad was on the trampoline.

“Why did she stop?” He asked, after Katie jumped over the back of Arabella to try and catch Vlad by surprise. The girls laughed when it failed, but still looked like they were having the time of their life, while Vlad looked like he was getting his teeth pulled.

“One of the reasons Arabella is so good, is because it was her father.” Lando raised his eyebrows in a silent question, and Seb glanced back towards the game making sure that no one could overhear. “When Arabella started show an interest in the sport, rumor has it she was attempting to do backflips on her bed.” Seb chuckled lightly. “Obviously terrified her parents, especially when she broke her arm doing it.” Lando’s eyebrows raised. “They couldn’t exactly afford to send her to camps or even get her a real coach…”

“So, he became her coach.” Seb nodded at Lando’s revelation.

“Her father introduced this game to her.” Both of their gazes went to Arabella, who was laughing while Katie and Vlad argued. Benny tried to throw a ball and catch her off guard, but she dodged it easily.

“I know she’ll kill me for saying it,” Seb went on after a few minutes of silence, “but I know she really appreciates you doing this.”

“Playing dodgeball with you guys?” Lando asked confused.

“Being here.” Lando’s eyebrows raised once again in confusion. “Let’s just say that it’s been a long-time sine Arabella had a man at the house.”

“You mean stay over at the house?”

“No, I mean walk through the front door.”

“You’re kidding.” Lando didn’t sound nearly as surprised as he was and confused.

“I wish I was.” Seb gave him a somber smile.

“Lando!” Benny yelled holding up the ball he caught in his hands. Jumping up Lando made his way back onto the trampoline watching to make sure no one was aiming any balls his way.

Arabella smiled, tossing the rhino skin dodgeball in her hand as she gave him the most predatorial smile he had ever seen on her face. It made him raise his eyebrows at her in silent shock. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.”  Arabella winked at him as she spoke.

“Oh baby, please don’t you ever be gentle with me.” Lando winked back, crouching down to grab a ball that had rolled to his feet as his steps sunk the trampoline.

“You guys are gross.” Benny said, his face twisting in disgust. Katie laughed and Vlad used her distraction to throw a ball at her knocking her out. With a shocked expression, with a hint of impressed, she bounced off the trampoline.

Lando was feeling good about their odds, three against one. Once again he was wrong.

The boys lost.

Again.

Lando would have been disappointed in loosing, the competitive side of him almost always demanded it. However, when Arabella threw her hands in the air as Katie joined her on the trampoline and they jumped out of excitement over their win, Lando felt anything but disappointed. He felt content, happy for Arabella and her win, and even a little proud.

Most of all he felt his heart swell as a little voice in his mind reminded him that she was all his. The same voice that reminded him she had told him as much, she had also used the word ‘forever’.

She was all his, forever.

Arabella had promised him. 

Chapter Text

November 2024 – Cooper Mountain Big Air Competition Qualifying

"I just need to say it, I need it known here and now that I think this is a terrible, terrible idea." Benny said, holding his mitted hand in the air as he spoke. From the far side of the group, Vlad rolled his eyes as he groaned, the snow crunching under his feat as he shifted his weight.

"Yeah, we heard you the first six times you said it." Katie said letting out a giggle. Seb rolled his eyes from between them. They were all bundled up in their snowboard jackets, even though it was perfect day for a competition, not a good day for standing around and watching. The air was cool, clouds hid the sun making it an overcast afternoon, which meant the sun wasn't going to wreak havoc on the visibility and the snow would stay hard and packed.

"I'm just saying, it's giving me major anxiety." Vlad let out another groan.

"Is that what you're blaming your shitty excuse for a qualifying?" Vlad asked, earning him an elbow from Katie. It didn't hurt considering the layers of jackets and sweaters he was wearing, but he turned her gaze towards her anyways. His eyes narrowed as he spoke. "Ow."

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes, "says the one who blamed his bad scored on his knee." She turned into him, giving him another nudge this time with her fist into his chest. "Then proceeded to complain about it all night." She was giving him a mischievous smile, but it fell into horror as Benny spoke.

"Wait, you're knee is bugging you again?" His tone was concerned, and when Seb glanced at Katie and Vlad he covered his mouth to hide his laugh. Vlad's eyes narrowed further, never leaving Katie's.

"Must be all those extra workouts." Seb said, from behind his hand, biting down on the laughter that was threatening to overtake him.

"What extra workouts?" Benny asked, still confused.

"The horizontal kind." Jesse said from the other side and that was the last straw, Seb exploded into laughter. When Benny looked between the two men confused, Jesse proceeded to use his hands to demonstrate was a horizontal workout looked like. Seb keeled over, slapping his knee.

"Shouldn't you be, I don't know, competing?" Vlad hissed. His words stole the amusement that had been creeping into Katie's eyes, only to be replaced with hurt.

"Low blow dick." She said, her voice low. "I'm going to go grab coffee, anyone want some?" She asked, listening for replies before she turned and left.

Vlad was pretty sure he wasn't getting his.

After the Brazilian Grand Prix

There was a soft groan, petite and innocent, that filled the hotel room as Lando shifted his weight to move the tangle of hair that had somehow found its way into his face while they slept. For a moment, just for a moment, his entire body relaxed into the mattress like a puddle. Every molecule of his being seemed to relax into the memory of waking up with a face full of her hair, the annoyed groans of a stunning creature that had somehow found her way into his bed. The love of his life. A soft and perfectly manicured hand slid over his chest, her body nuzzling closer to him.

Suddenly everything felt wrong. So, so wrong.

"Good morning." Lando's eyes snapped open, and it wasn't dirty blond hair that was in his face, it was brown. A deep chestnut brown. Her voice was annoyed, it was sleepy and sweet. Like she was a cat waking up from a long nap in the sun. He also smelt mint on her breath.

"Morning." Lando responded, trying his best not to sound confused or uncomfortable as reality came crashing back into him.

"What time is it?" She asked, too innocently. Lando turned toward the beside table, catching the time but also his escape route.

"Almost nine." He said, trying his best to slide away from her without being obvious. "Which means I have to get going."

"What do you mean?" He glanced back at her, his arm still in the stretch he had masked his escape from her arms with. She was pretty, he had to admit that, with small features and big round eyes. It took everything in him not to let his relief show when he realized she was wearing clothes. His clothes, but they were still covering her. "I though your flight wasn't until this afternoon." Her tone was still innocent, but he could tell by the slight narrowing of her eyes that she was suspicious.

"It is, but I wanted to hit the gym first." Not a complete lie, but that didn't help the guilt that swarmed his gut. Hitting the gym would be good for him, and less of a lie than his original plan to tell her that his flight was in the morning. He needed to work out his confusion and frustration and he could sweat out whatever he had drank last night to land him in this situation. Pushing him the last few inches of the bed he stood, thankful that he was wearing sweatpants.

"Seriously?" She didn't sound convinced, and he didn't blame her. Lando Norris was not the athlete known to be spending hours in the gym. He was the driver known to take naps when there was a red flag and spend his mornings before a race in the massage chair. He really only went to the gym when his trainer demanded it of him.

"Yeah." He cringed as he noticed a jean skirt at his feet. Leaning down he picked it up, tossing it onto the bed between them. "There's been a lot on my mind lately, and it's been helping me keep a clear head." It was the most truth he wanted to admit to her, and what he got back was a skeptical look on Louisa's face with her head cocked to the side. She even waited a moment before she spoke.

"I know you've been going through a lot." He was not a fan of where her train of thought had taken her. "Is this about that snowboarder? Amber..."

"Arabella." He corrected a little too quickly and judging by the way her eyes narrowed slightly it had been a test. "No, it's not about her."

"It is though, isn't it?" Her nose scrunched, and not in the cute way that he had loved on Arabella. "You can talk about her, I don't mind. I know she was someone very special to you."

"She's not dead." He said, his tone snapping at her harsher than he expected. Rubbing a hand over his face, he stifled a groan. "Look, I really don't want to talk about her..."

"With the woman who spent the night in your bed?" She let out a little giggle as she spoke and Lando felt something twist in his gut. Up until that moment he had reminded himself that it wasn't 100% Louisa's fault, he was partly to blame for her presence in his bed, but he wasn't the one to bring her up. He may have been to blame for his actions, but she was responsible for her words. His teeth ground together before he answered.

"I don't want to talk about her at all," he corrected, "and I really do have to get going." Without giving her a second look, he stalked into the closet and grabbed the first set of workout clothes he could find. When he made his way back out Louisa was, thankfully wearing her skirt and her purse slung over her shoulder.

"I'll see you around Lando." She said walking towards the door. Her movements were dismissive, but her voice was welcoming, as if she was wanting him to ask her to stay.

"Louisa..." he started making his way towards the door. His eyes trailing on the t-shirt she was wearing, on the one that she hadn't taken off.

"It's okay." She said, turning she crossed and pressed a hand into Lando's chest, not letting him speak. "When you're ready to talk you can call me. I'll be around." Louisa gave him a small smile as she leaned in and brushed a kiss to his cheek. Then she turned and left.

"I wanted my shirt back." He said, as the door latched behind her.

The shirt that traveled with him in case Arabella slept over. His t-shirt he had gotten when he went to Cooper Mountain to watch Arabella compete.

Cooper Mountain Big Air Semi-Finals

Dimitri was staring up at the biggest jump he had ever seen in his career. The air around him already felt thin at the landing that was about halfway between the snow below and the starting gate above. His stomach had already taken up residency in his heels, and his mind was reeling trying to remind himself that this wasn't the biggest jump he had ever seen, it wasn't even the biggest jump on the circuit. It was bigger than the one at the Red Bull training facility, but not by much.

Yet today it somehow felt massive. Huge. Ginormous.

Monumental.

And that terrified him enough. "You know it's not to late to back out." Dimitri didn't shift his gaze from the underbelly of the jump to their left. The scaffolding that criss-crossed on each other to create the structure. A chorus of cheers sounded from the top of the jump before the scaffolding groaned as a snowboarder started their decent.

"Right." Arabella snorted, her voice barely audibly over the music from below, the cheers from above and the wind sweeping through them in the middle. Big Air competitions had always felt more like a massive party then a true competition. Music played, people danced, and the beer never stopped flowing as people watching snowboarders push themselves to the limit. Everyone always had a good time.

Well, almost everyone.

"I'm serious." Dimitri said, finally looked down at her. Arabella wore the same all-black snowsuit she had worn before her accident. The same mitts hung from strings at her sleeves, she even had the same blond wisps pulled out from underneath her toque and navy goggles. Everything on the outside was the same. There was just a new tension in her shoulders and her nervous tick of always fiddling with her bindings gave her away.

He glanced down at her white helmet in his hand, the same style of helmet from before her accident, but it was the only new thing she was wearing. The image of what her helmet looked like after her accident flashed through his mind and his hand started vibrating.

"I know." Arabella said, standing up using the railing she noticed the helmet vibrating and gave it a tug. He wouldn't let go. "I know no one expects me to do this." His eyes found hers, the fear made her gut twist in a way she didn't need. Not today. "But I have to do this, for me." He loosened his grip and the helmet. "If you can't get on board, then I need you to leave." His eyes widened in betrayal and her stomach twisted again.

Too many people had made comments about her being there, weighed in on it as if it was their business. Everyone who needed to sign off on it did, she had been training for weeks. The name Arabella Van Dijk may not have been a popular name in regular pop culture, but in the snowboarder community? She was huge. The second her name hit the starting sheet, her little bubble of training and working towards getting better burst.

It somehow surprised no one that she had made it into the semi-finals, but everyone still had doubts about her. There was even an Instagram pole about it. People weren't voting on if she would make it into the final or not, they were voting on when she was going to choke. Her friends had been supportive, watching from the bottom and taking her for dinner one she had made it through. When she had requested to be left alone before competition, which they all usually preferred the night before a final, they all obliged her.

Except the moment her hotel room door closed behind her, and she had nothing but American television and her own thoughts to keep her company, she felt horrible alone. Which was not a feeling she was used too by any means. In fact, the feeling of feeling completely alone, felt wrong even when she had remembered enjoying it. Something in those missing six months had changed that apparently, or someone.

She felt off. Everything felt off. That feeling paired with everyone around her questioning if she was ready, with everyone voting that she would choke on her first jump, it was enough to make her walls crumble and let every ounce of self doubt and fear come crashing back in. She had felt it growing since she arrived in the US, getting bigger and bigger everyday. Then Dimitri had given her an out. Dimitri who had only ever shared her excitement and need for adrenaline, her drive, the one who told her he always believed she would make it back to the top.

The one who refused to drop her as an athlete.

The one who made a bet with Lando about it.

The one who was now looking at her like he was scared for her, terrified for her.

Like he doubted her.

Suddenly she didn't care he looked betrayed because she felt betrayed. "I need you to stop looking at me like I'm going to die." She snapped, the words leaving her lips before she realized she was speaking. His hand moved in his pocket, the same nervous twitch he had been doing all morning.

"I don't think you're going to die." He stammered, pushing the words out as fast as he could. A quick glance around revealed people listening in. It didn't surprise them; people had been loitering around her all morning. Waiting for the inevitable break. "I'm sorry Bells," He sighed, running a hand over his toque, "I just don't have a good feeling about this."

"No shit." She said, her voice quiet enough that she hoped no one around her would hear. "I can do this if people doubt me, I can't do this if you doubt me." Her voice broke slightly. "So, if you can't get on board, then I need you to watch from somewhere else. Somewhere where I can't see you, can't see the doubt in your eyes, because I am fucking doing this, even if I get a face full of my landing. This is who I am, not some bubble wrapped princess who just woke up from a coma, not some fragile little girl who needs big strong men to hide the truth from her." He flinched. "I'm a two-time fucking world champion in this fucking sport." Her breathing was heavy, and she was vibrating with the effort to keep her voice low. Keep her words out of the ears of the people around her.

"Okay." He said finally, the corner of his mouth twitching. "But take this," he pulled his hand out of his pocket and handed her a small silver ring, "it's your good luck charm." Arabella was skeptical, she had her good luck charm around her neck already, her fathers wedding ring. Reaching forward she took the small ring from him. "And for the record, Bells," Dimitri continued, setting her board against the railing, the same board with the lime green logo, "I have no doubt that I'll see you in the yellow bib again." She gave him a short nod and then he was gone.

Without thinking too much about it, she pulled the chain that was tucked into her sports bra out and added the small pinky ring to it before returning it to it's place by her heart. Instantly she felt better, part of her felt more relaxed. Leaning back against the railing she closed her eyes and ran a hand over the pair of rings under her clothes. She felt her heart rate slow, her muscles relax, and her mind clear ever so slightly.

For the first time that day, she genuinely smiled.

Las Vegas Grand Prix

As excited as Carlos was to race in Las Vegas, he wasn't too pleased when he figured out that the hoards of American fans made it impossible to leave his hotel without being hounded by fans and reporters. Which meant that his usual morning run with nothing but the rising sun and an early morning breeze to keep him company was going to have to be replaced by a treadmill in a hotel gym with every other driver who liked to start their race day off with some cardio.

Out of the drivers he expected, Lando Norris wasn't even on the list. So, when Carlos stepped into the gym he was surprised to find Lando not only at the bench press huffing out heavy breaths with each rep, but to find him along with no spotter behind him as he lifted an impressive amount of weight.

"This is a little early for you isn't it?" He asked, making his way towards the treadmill, and placing his stuff down. When he turned back, he noticed the air pods in his ears and the sweat on his friend's brow. Abandoning his run, he walked back over and took up a spot at his head. Lando's eyes were closed, since his eyes were closed, but Carlos remained there until his friends' arms started to shake and his brows furrowed in concentration.

His eyes snapped open when Carlos grabbed the weight from him, putting the bar back onto it's rack. "Are you trying to bench press her back to you?" He asked, conscious that the air pods were still in his friends' ears.

"How long have you been here?" He asked, pulling his air pods out. Carlos smiled.

"Not long." He glanced at the clock; 6:07. "How long have you been here?"

"Since 5." Carlos's brows rose. "I needed to clear my head." Lando stood walking towards the cable machine in the corner.

"Mhmm." Carlos took the seat he had just vacated. "Whenever you want to talk, I'm all ears."

"Talk about what?" Lando set a weight, too much for a race day workout but Carlos remained silent. His response was just a raised eyebrow. "Don't you have your own workout to do?"

"Oh, I don't workout on race days, just go for a light run." He motioned to his abandoned treadmill. "Stop changing the subject." Lando let out an annoyed groan and turned to the machine. After a few reps of silence, Carlos continued. "You're going to make me guess, fine." He furrowed his brows in false concentration. "The most obvious would be the championship, you've never been this close to it, and no one has been this close to Max in too long. Then there's the other obvious, Arabella..."

"Louisa slept over." Lando cut him off, hearing her name snapping something in him. "After Brazil." Carlos's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, but Lando didn't turn. "Nothing happened."

"Nothing?" Carlos asked, but Lando didn't respond. "No cuddling, no horizontal tango?"

"Horizontal tango, what are we in middle school?" Lando shot him a look that only made him snort.

"I don't know are we?" Lando turned back to the machine. "A girl slept in your bed, nothing happened, and you still look riddled with guilt." No response. "You do know it would have been okay to..." Lando's shoulders tensed, "horizontal tango with her." Carlos smiled as his friend groaned. "Did you want to?"

"No." He said quickly. "Maybe." Another rep. "I don't know." Another rep and then the weighs found their home with a clang. "All I know is I don't fucking no."

"Alright, first of all, you need to stop the workout. We still have a race today and I can't feel good about beating you if you wear yourself out now trying to work out your demons."

"Beating me will be hard, even if I work out for another hour since I'm on the front row and you're," he frowned at his friend, "I forget, was it eighth?"

"Sixth, dick." Carlos smiled as Lando chuckled.

"All I know," Lando continued after he took a few breaths, calming his heart rate, "is that I miss her. But I think a part of me will always miss her."

"She was a big part of your life." Lando shook his head.

"She was my life." He corrected and Carlos gave him a sympathetic smile. "That's why I don't think I can ever completely move on. I don't want to move on from her, I want her back. I want the life we shared back." He ran a hand through his sweaty curls. Carlos remained silent, letting him work through his own thoughts. "But it felt good. To have dinner with someone, to go on a date." He swallowed, the next words hard to admit. "To hold someone again."

"We're not meant to be alone." Carlos said and Lando nodded.

"I hate sleeping alone." Lando admitted with a small laugh. There was a part of him that couldn't believe he was admitted all this out loud, but another part of him that knew he needed too.

"Are you going to see her again?" He shrugged, they had spoken a few times, over text, since she left his hotel room in Brazil.

"I don't know."

"Well, when you inevitably win, and kick Max's ass like we all wish we could, it'll be nice to have someone to celebrate with." Carlos winked at his friend. "Maybe do a little horizontal tango."

Despite the feeling that clenched his heart at the thought, Lando smiled.

Cooper Mountain Big Air Competition Finals

If Arabella thought making it into the final would eliminate at least some of the doubt that people had about her ability to succeed, she was wrong. There was even a new Instagram pole. It seems that everyone attributed her presence in the finals to the fact that she had managed to successfully land her jumps, which seemed unmanageable by most of the other women.

Dimitri had been at the bottom, cheering her on with her roommates. After each jump they'd be waiting in a line of high fives, Dimitri at the end prepared to give her a few small pointers and observations. None of it was stuff she didn't know, but it was nice to hear them all the same. She wished she could have stayed down there with them to cheer on the boys as they went through their semi-final, but it had ben too many eyes for her comfort, so instead she found herself at the top of the jump hours before it was time for the women's final.

The jump was surrounded by bright orange fencing, keeping unwanted visitors away from the structure built up for the top of the jump, as well as where the jump met the mountain slope. Spectators had climbed up far enough to watch from halfway up the landing, but no one had dared move closer to the top since a thick tree line framed the one side of the jump. Arabella found a spot nestled in the trees where she could see the jump and the finish coral below, but away from the tent below the top of the jump so she wasn't in the way of the male competitors and their coaches getting ready.

From where she sat, her snowboard making up a makeshift backrest, she could smell nothing but the crisp mountain air around her, and all she could hear was the crunch of snowboarders and skies taking in the rest of the mountain that hadn't been taken over by the competition. Faintly she could hear the music from below, and from the tent a few meters away, but it was far enough away that she didn't feel apart of it anymore.

She didn't feel like Arabella Van Dijk, big air competitor, here, she just felt like a girl who loved to snowboard. The tranquility of her spot washed over her, calming her nerves.

After a round of the men's semi-final, Arabella heard the crunching of snow underneath boots, and someone walked towards her. Turning, she was faced with the last person she expected. Her ex-roommate and competitor, Melissa, another Dutch snowboarder who currently possessed the yellow bib.

"Well, well, well. The spotlight getting too much for you?" She asked, coming close enough that they could talk, but making no move to come sit with her.

"We both know I don't mind the spotlight." She smiled and nodded. "Nice bib." Melissa glanced down, as if she forgot she had been wearing it.

"Thanks." Taking another step forward, she dropped into the snow a few feet from where Arabella was sitting. Arabella frowned. "I heard you kicked your coach off the top of the jump." When Melissa turned her attention towards her, an eyebrow raised, Arabella shrugged.

"He was scared."

"And you're not?" Arabella's eyes narrowed slightly.

"What do you want? And if it's the mess with my head, you might as well fuck off. There's enough doubt from everyone else, I almost expect it from you."

"I don't doubt you." She said, and Arabella raised both her eyebrows. "Okay, maybe I do." Despite herself she smiled. "But it was boring here without you. I need you back at your best so there's some real competition again."

"Katie's still competing."

"She's been battling that knee injury; I heard a rumor that she's going for surgery soon." Arabella didn't say anything, Katie hadn't told her anything about surgery, but she had been around the sport long enough.

"So, you need me back?" Arabella turned back towards the jump.

"Yeah," Melissa stood up, brushing snow off her pants, "so cut it out with the kid jumps will ya?" Arabella turned her and smiled, it wasn't the conversation she had expected, but it was the one she had needed.

"I'll do my best." With that Melissa turned and left. Leaving Arabella alone with her thoughts.

Las Vegas Grand Prix

Lando hadn't been big on nerves, but today he was nervous. Maybe it was the championship fight. Max was starting on pole, Lando right behind him. It would be a good fight, the type of race that drivers loved. Las Vegas was also new territory, before that weekend no one had raced the track before.

Maybe it was a someone making him so nervous. The woman was wearing his colors, she was making him nervous. Louisa had arrived with the daughter of the owner of Aston Martin, dressed in their colors, but had, very eagerly, switched her allegiance over to McLaren. All it took was one comment about the green shirt she wore for her to giggle and challenge him to get her a different one. He wasn't sure why he had done it, or why he cared if she wore orange or green. Either way it ended with her dressed in his colors, with his number on her shirt, and waiting for him with the rest of the McLaren guests.

As the time ran down on the race start, Lando found his mind drifting to another woman. One that wasn't wearing his colors or wasn't even at the race. She had probably changed it, but he liked the idea of her still using the snowboard with his gaming logo on the bottom of it. He had given it to her as a gift, although he wasn't sure who it was more a present for his company or for her, but she had loved it all the same. Using it in every competition after that. When she had snapped it in training, she had replaced it with an identical one.

"Do you have my phone?" He asked, turning to the McLaren team member beside him. She was currently holding the rest of his things and it was her job to stay close to him before he got in the car. She nodded and reached into the bag over her shoulder, pulling it out. "Thanks" He said taking it, he turned on safari and typed in a quick search before he pulled up what he was looking for.

His heart skipped a beat when he read her name, and his stomach did a flip when he realized what the information on the screen meant. Arabella Van Dijk had made it into the final, barely, but she had done it. Lando smiled.

"Can you do me a favor?" He asked, looking at her. She nodded, although her brows furrowed. "I want to know when the woman's finals start."

"I'm sorry?" In response he handed her the phone.

"I don't care where I am after or what I'm doing, I want you to remind me when the finals start." Glancing at the phone, realization crossed her features and she nodded.

Suddenly he felt the need for this race to be over with a ferocity that threatened to overtake him. It was dangerous his need for speed. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, as he moved towards his car. His only focus was the get to the finish line as fast as possible so he could find a way to watch the final.

Arabella Van Dijk was making him nervous, from across the country.

Cooper Mountain Big Air Competition Finals

She hit the snow. Hard. It jarred her bones, and the collective gasp from everyone watching rang through her ears long past the silence that followed. A ski patrol asked her fi she was alright, and she gave them a thumbs up and a forced smile before taking the snow mobile back up to the top of the jump.

"Hard hit." The competitor who shared the snow mobile said and she nodded. Not trusting her own voice. When they got to the top, she dropped her board inside the tent before she kept going, crossing to the spot she had been before. The one where she had been alone, away from everyone.

When she got there, she dropped to her knees, lowered her head to the snow and screamed into her hands. Fear threatened to paralyze her. Yanking at the ties that held her walls together. The moment her edge caught, and she realized she was heading for a face full of snow, she froze. The feeling of waking up from a coma weak mentally and physically. The realization that she had lost more than just time with her accident, but memories, pieces of herself.

She couldn't breath and she didn't know how to fix it. She couldn't ask for help, that time had long past. Ski patrol had asked her, her roommates and coach had asked her at the bottom. She could leave, she didn't need to prove anything to anyone. She didn't need to risk more time, more of herself for anyone present.

Without thinking to much about it, she pulled her phone out and dialed a number. Pressed the phone to her ear, she waited, listening to the dial tone. She forced air into her lungs, forced it through sandpaper in her throat. Through glass in her lungs. Arabella didn't even think of what time it was on the other end of the line, didn't think about the fact that it might be in the middle of the race and he might not answer.

"Hello?" His heavily accented voice filled the other end of the line and she felt bits of oxygen find their way into her lungs. "Arabella? Is everything alright?"

"I..." She choked on the words. "I..."

"Where are you?"

"Cooper Mountain." She managed to get out. "I fell." She swallowed past the jagged edges of her throat. "On my last jump I fell."

"Are you alright."

"Yeah, it wasn't bad." She admitted. "It just freaked me out." Another swallow, this time it was easier. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Tell me about the fall, tell me what happened. Just start there okay?" She nodded as her breathing got easier just by the sound of his voice.

Las Vegas Grand Prix

As Lando made his way from the FIA scales to the podium to claim his first-place trophy. It had been a good race, Max and Lando had battled for most of the race until the Dutch driver had to retire his car. Then it had been an easy win. Carlos, who had managed to snag driver of the day, landed himself in third and was set to join him on the podium.

This was how he had wanted it. Him and his friend on the podium together. Of course, he enjoyed battling with Max, but there was a part of him that would always hold a hatred towards the driver for nothing that he did on track and everything that he did off the track.

Having him not on the podium just made it that much sweater. The fact that he hadn't scored any points was just icing on the cake.

"That was amazing." Carlos said clasping his friend on the shoulders.

"How did you manage to make third from eighth?" He asked and Carlos rolled his eyes.

"Sixth."

"Still a feat." Carlos's smile grew and Lando wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He was proud of his friend. As they made their way towards the podium, the woman from before the race found him and handing him his phone.

"It started a little while ago." She answered his question before he could ask it. He nodded and then she gave him a big smile. "Congrats, that was a perfect drive." Lando gave her his thanks.

"What is that?" Carlos asked.

"It's the big air competition." The woman answered before Lando could.

"How'd she do?" Carlos asked before Lando could give the woman a withering look.

"Her first jump was good, she's about to do her second." Lando nodded and glanced at the screen, it was still just the live score, and he wouldn't be able to find any streaming sites in between here and the podium.

"Come on mate, we have somewhere to be." Carlos said, guiding him towards the podium. "We can re-watch it later." Lando nodded and slid his phone into his pocket, not closing out of the webpage.

As he stepped onto the podium and accepted his trophy, his eyes somehow found Max. Standing at the back of the group, he had Kelly wrapped around him as he watched the podium proceedings. There was a level of respect in his eyes. It wasn't his fault that he had been forced to retire, it was the nature of the sport, but Lando knew, probably better than most, the desire Max felt to be on that podium. To knock Lando from his spot at the top.

It made his smile broaden.

He wasn't sure why he kept glancing towards where Max was standing. He wasn't his friend, he lost a decent amount of respect for him as a person after everything that happened with Arabella, but he respected him as a driver, so maybe that was it.

Max shook his head as Lando sprayed champagne over the podium, doing his signature trick to get it to spray nice by smacking the bottle on the ground. He pointed the bottle at Carlos, then at his engineer who was accepted the constructers awards.

The next time he glanced back at Max he was on the phone, his free hand pressed to his opposite ear to drown out the noise and his body had gone tense. Shrugging he went back to spraying the champagne, but his eyes somehow kept wandering to where he was. 

Wondering who he was on the phone with. 

Chapter Text

November 2023 – Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

If Lando had picked a single word to describe how he was feeling, it would be devastation. It could have been dramatic, in fact it probably was, but as he pulled his car around for the cooling lap he felt a world of weight crashing down on his shoulders. He felt his entire teams’ dreams, all their hopes, he felt them all crushing down on his shoulders. They’ll tell him it was a good fight, Lando took him to the last race. Gave him a real fight. One that Max hadn’t had in a long time.

But, Max Verstappen had won the championship. Again.

Exhaustion seeped into every molecule of his body. Every muscle fibre felt like it was on the brink of rupture. There was a part of him that was relieved the season was over, relieved that his body would get a break. He also felt like he wanted to pull the car over and cry because the season was over, and his time was up. Let the emotions take over, let the feeling of utter and complete failure take over him.

Except he had a team to face. A team of mechanics, engineers and support staff, a massive team. A team that he had let down with this loss. With this failure. He knew they would act happy and proud, and on a certain level they meant it. They’ll tell him it was a good fight, Lando took him to the last race. Gave him a real fight. One that Max hadn’t had in a long time. Max in a Red Bull was just unbeatable, something that Lando himself already knew since he had spent a year racing in the same car as him.

Still, somehow, he believed he could have beaten him.

Lando forced himself to take deep breaths as he pulled his car into the paddock, taking his place in the spot in front of the third-place marker. Slowly he unbuckled himself, taking enough time to gather himself, but not too much time knowing that there were millions of eyes on him. The last thing he wanted to do was give them something to talk about. McLaren had surpassed everyone’s expectations, except for his own.

It had been a long shot that Lando would take the title from Max, but it had still been a shot.

When he finally pulled himself free, the world around him came into focus all at once. As if removing himself from the cockpit of his car somehow broke the barrier between him and the rest of the world. People were cheering, singing Max’s song, and waving Dutch flags. Engineers and mechanics lined the barricades waiting to congratulate their driver. The Red Bull team was practically breaking down the barrier in front of them they were so rowdy. McLaren was excited, their energy almost matching that of the Red Bull team, but beside Red Bull Lando found their show of excitement almost depressing.

He saw it in their eyes before he had gotten in the car, they had wanted a championship. They had wanted to be the ones to knock Max Verstappen off the top spot. McLaren had produced champions for other teams, but they hadn’t won a driver’s championship for themselves in 15 years.

There was only one person standing at the front of the barrier who didn’t look the slightest bit disappointed in the team’s result. She didn’t look disappointed in him at all, instead she looked happy. Her eyes were swollen with pride and her smile brought him out of the clouds of emotion that was swarming him. In that moment, where he felt like he had failed hundreds of his teammates, she looked at him like she had given her the world.

“I’m so proud of you.” Arabella said as Lando reached her, wrapping his arms around her.

“Come here.” He said, his voice barely audible underneath his helmet, but Arabella heard, or understood by his movements, but she jumped up as Lando grabbed her bringing her over the barrier and crushing her against him.

People chuckled, some whistled, but he didn’t care. Lifting her had left him breathless and for a moment he thought he’d drop her he was so exhausted, but he didn’t care. He gripped her like she was the answer to all his questions, like she was water, and he was on the verge of dying from dehydration.

“So, fucking proud.” She whispered again, only loud enough for him to hear her as her arms remain around him. His helmet was nestled into her shoulder but somehow he could still take in the smell of her. Lando smelt the shampoo he had used to wash her hair the night before, the body wash that had rubbed between them after he had decided he needed to be as close as possible to her. It warmed him, brought him back to life. After could have been five seconds or an hour, Lando loosened his grip on her. Just enough for her to lean back and press her forehead to his, her hands coming up to the sides of his helmet.

“I love you.” He said and she smiled.

“I love you too.” She said, leaning back she brushed her lips against his helmet before pressing her forehead to his. “Now go, celebrate this victory even if it doesn’t feel like one now. I’ll be here, waiting.” Lando nodded, before he reluctantly let go of her.

Arabella stayed through all of it. She watched Lando stand on the podium, spray champagne, and lift his third-place trophy. By the way his shoulders remained slightly slumped and the small smile on his face, she knew he was disappointed. Hell, it had been obvious by the way he held her after getting out of the car. Lando Norris was devastated, and her heart ached for him.

She wished he could see how proud everyone was of him, wish he could hear his teammates talk about him from below the podium. They were all so proud of him; he took his McLaren further than any of them expected him too. Lando Norris was second in the driver’s championship and thanks to Mercedes second car having to retire, McLaren moved up to third in the constructors' championship.

There was a part of her that was relived the season was over, not just because it meant she could stop traveling every weekend between his races and her competitions, but it also meant that she wouldn’t have to be around Max as much anymore.

Kelly was there, all smile and tears of happiness like any loyal girlfriend would be. Ironic since their relationship had started with Max’s disloyalty to Arabella. When she had first come back to the circuit, after she had decided that supporting Lando was more important that steering clear of Max, it hurt every time she saw them together. Now, it still hurt, but she was starting to get the sense it was hurting for an entirely different reason.

The further she fell in love with Lando, even if it didn’t feel like falling, the more she realized that she had never truly been in love with Max. She had loved the idea of him, the excitement of being in a relationship with him, but never him.

It also because blatantly obvious that a part of her had loved Lando long before Max had ever cheated. Lando had been her comfort, her closest friend, when she was struggling with the reality of her father, he had given her an escape. It had been her own fault for never confiding about it to Max, at least not to the same length that she did with Lando, but she had never felt as comfortable with Max as she did with Lando.

And she wasn’t sure whose fault that truly was.

When the door shut behind Lando and he was finally alone in his driver’s room with Arabella, he felt the walls he had put up against his devastation starting to crumble. It only took one look at Arabella, and the proud look on her face for him to completely crumble. Suddenly the feeling of being a failure overwhelmed him, and he didn’t feel like he was good enough for her anymore.

It must have been on his face because Arabella crossed the room in a flash and had her arms around him before the first tear fell. With her arms around him and his head buried into her shoulder, the floodgates opened, and he cried. She ran her hands along his shoulders and across his back in the most comforting way. It made him feel worse.

He wasn’t sure when they moved, or how they ended up on the bench that ran along the side of the room. He was leaning against her, his body relaxed and as his sobs slowed he felt his eyelids getting heavier.

“You can’t fall asleep here.” She whispered, still rubbing his back.

“Why not.” He managed, his voice dripping in sleep.

“Because we have a big comfy hotel room waiting for us.” When he didn’t move, she jostled his shoulder slightly. “And you need a shower.” At that he laughed, a smile spread across his face, but his eyes didn’t open.

“I do not.” He said, groaning as he failed to push himself off of her. Lando tried again, even opening his eyes, and succeeded leaning back against the wall. He sniffed once, and then crinkled his nose. “No, you’re right, I really do.”

“It’s a very strange combination of sweat, engine exhaust and champagne.” He laughed again, watching as she stood and started gathering his things. When she had found his street clothes, she reached for him and pulled him up, helping him get undressed.

“You know, this would be a lot sexier if I wasn’t so tired.” He commented and she snorted, kneeling to help him into his pants. She had allowed him to sit again, doing most of the work. A part of him felt bad, he was a man, an F1 driver, he should completely be able to do this on his own. But, yet he was still sitting there letting her dress him.

“Come on, I promise to undress you later.” She smiled giving him a cheeky wink as she stood and pulled her purse over her shoulder. “Maybe even help you in the shower.” Suddenly, he wasn’t exhausted anymore, suddenly he just wanted to get back to the hotel and have a soapy, wet, Arabella in his shower again. Images from the night before flooded his brain.

“Oh really?” Lando said as she held her hand out to him, to help him up. Arabella gave him one of his all-time favorites if he had to pick a favorite.

“If you ask nicely I’ll even help you get dressed later.”

“Why am I getting dressed later?” Lando’s brows scrunched for a moment and then he groaned. “Fuck.” Arabella giggled, wrapping her arms around him, she pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. He completely forgot about all the events and the expectations of him to actually attend them. “Do we have to go out?”

“Yes, we do.” He groaned again, dropping his head to her shoulder. “Would it help if I said I brought that green silk dress to wear?” Another groan. “And those knee-high boots.” He let out another, loud, groan that had her smiling from ear to ear.

“No,” he leaned back shaking his head, “that’s not helping me at all. If you put that dress on, we won’t make it out of the hotel room.” With another cheeky smile, she leaned in and kissed him. Hard, passionate, and over way too soon.

“I guess we’ll have to see.” She breathed, before turning and walking towards the door. Before pulling it open she looked over her shoulder and gave him a wink, making sure she stuck her hip out to show off her toned legs underneath her shorts.

And like a puppy dog with a bone, he followed her.

December 2023 – Beijing Big Air Competition

Nothing compared to driving an F1 car, nothing came close to the amount of adrenaline that coursed through his veins accompanied by the feeling of being right on the edge of control. It was unparalleled. Lando was now officially the second fastest driver in the world, he had, arguably, mastered driving one of the fastest cars in the world. Which meant that during his break between the end of one season and the start of the next, he was always looking for something else to curb his craving for that feeling.

Normally it was ATVs in the dessert, or skidoos on the ocean, sometimes he’d go crazy and do something physical like snorkeling in the ocean. He didn’t think he’d get his adrenaline fix watching his girlfriend compete.

Of course, he had watched her compete before, but this felt different. It had been awhile since he had seen her in person, but this somehow felt completely different from the last time. Last time he had been trying his best not to be seen or recognized by anyone. He had always known her job was dangerous, but it had never registered just how dangerous until now. Or maybe now that she was with him, that she had turned into his entire world, he was completely terrified of loosing the life he had grown to love so much.

Whatever it was, standing at the bottom of the jump watching her throw herself off it’s edge and twist her body an alarming amount of times before she landed was now terrifying.

Even more terrifying when the announcers made the comment that she was landing blind on her first jump.

“Oh, here’s Katie.” Vlad said from beside Lando. Seb and Benny were also there, Jesse was somewhere in the back of the VIP area with the heaters. The boy’s semi-final was that afternoon and even though it was colder than Lando had expected for China, Arabella’s roommates had still come out early to support her and Katie.

They watched as Katie started her decent after giving her coach a first bump. She picked up speed, lowering her body slightly to keep herself grounded. When she checked some of her speed just before the jump Vlad said “fuck” under his breath. Lando glanced at him, noticing he was already wincing, and Katie hadn’t even landed yet.

“Ouch.” Benny said once Katie had stopped sliding down the jump on her backside. After she took her board off, Katie stood and stomped off towards the snowmobiles waiting to take the competitors back to the top. She didn’t so much as glance towards where her friends were standings, only walked past her, her head low and her board dragging in the snow. An interviewer called to her, but she ignored them not wanted to stick around for her score. Vlad tracked every movement she made, his eyes not leaving her once. Once she had sat on the snowmobile, she glanced up just long enough for their eyes to meet and the corner of his mouth twitched, which she mirrored.

“She needs to stop checking that speed.” Seb commented, his attention on the leader board and the score they had just given Katie.

“Or take down her difficulty.” Benny commented, earning him a sharp look from Vlad when he turned back around. “How many more until Arabella?” He mumbled changing the subject and dropping his eyes to the snow underneath his boots.

“Three more.” Seb said, his brows furrowing slightly at Vlad’s reaction. Lando kept his attention forward, trying to ignore what was happening around him. He felt it was obvious, but judging by what was happing around him, they didn’t see what he was seeing.

He was curious if Katie and Vlad even realized it.

“Do you think she’ll go for it?” Benny asked, looking at Seb and ignoring the look Vlad was still giving him. “Even though she’s only landed it like what 30% of the time?” Seb groaned, as Lando’s face grew more pale.

“I think it’s closer to 50.” Vlad commented, but that didn’t make Lando feel any better.

“She’s going to do a trick she’s only lands ever second time?” Lando asked looking between the three boys. None of them met his gaze, Vlad shrugged.

“Only on snow.” Vlad said, in a matter-of-fact tone. “On the tramp, she lands it 100% of the time.”

“That makes me feel better.” Lando mumbled.

“If it makes you feel better, this is probably exactly how she feels whenever she watches you drive.” Benny’s words made Seb groan again, rubbing a gloved hand over his face.

“Jesus, Benny.” Vlad said, turning to face him.

“What?”

“We need to work on your sensitivity.” Seb commented, and Benny still looked confused.

When it came time for Arabella’s turn, Lando’s stomach twisted as he watched her tighten her bindings. She twisted her body a few times, as if she needed to loosen it up, and the movement made Lando nauseous. A part of him didn’t want to watch, but the other part of him knew he had too. He wouldn’t be able to look away from her until she was safe on the snow again. His eyes already ached.

If this was how she felt every time he got in the car, he needed to make sure he made up for it. He felt horrible. Fear and terror ate at every piece of him. Even as she smiled and gave Dimitri their quick secret handshake. Then as she turned her attention to the run, and even though her smile didn’t falter, Lando felt his heart stop in his chest.

If his heart hadn’t been frozen in his chest, it would have stopped again as Arabella’s board left the jump. She reached down, grabbing the edge as she twisted through the air. All the sound fell away as he watched her move in slow motion. Everything about her was mesmerizing. She twisted, snow flying off the sides of her board as she moved through the air. He felt like it had been forever when she finally let go of her board and prepared herself for her landing.

There wasn’t much that beat the feeling of landing a jump she had only successfully landed a few times. However, seeing her boyfriend standing in the VIP area with the biggest grin on his face and nothing but pride in his eyes, might top it. It was probably the first time she didn’t stick around to see what her score was, instead she went straight for the fence that separated them and threw her arms around him.

“Oh my god, that was amazing.” Lando said, leaning back enough so he could see her face. He still held her tight against him, the metal fence digging into his stomach, as he brushed his lips against hers. “How did you do that?” Arabella laughed, her smile broadening to a point that her frozen cheeks hurt.

“I don’t know, I just do.” She shrugged and Lando laughed.

“Did you see Katie? She checked her speed again.” Benny said, Vlad looked at him and the man actually flinched.

“Benny, shut the fuck up.” Vlad hissed and Seb’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

“How did Melissa do?” Arabella asked, and the boys looked away, looking anywhere but her. “Guys.” She turned to look at the leader board.

“She got a 92.” Lando said furrowing his brows.

“Fuck.” Arabella said and Vlad nodded, suddenly Lando understood why no one wanted to tell her. Her face fell, all the excitement disappeared.

“Yeah, she’s….” The crowd erupted, and everyone turned to the screen that was now showing her score and where she ended up on the leader board. Suddenly her smile was back.

“That’s not much of a lead.” Benny commented.

“Jesus, fucking, Christ, Benny.” Seb said, shaking his head, although he was smiling.

“What?” Benny looked confused as Seb just laughed.

“He’s right, I’m going to have to step up my game.”

“Step it up from that?” Lando asked his eyes wide. Arabella chuckled, taking a step back from him and placing a hand on his chest.

“Don’t worry, I can do it.” She pressed her lips to his again. “I gotta go.” She said and then she grabbed her board and headed off to the snowmobiles, high-fiving Seb as she went.

She did top her last score, jumping from a 92.5 to a 94, only because she wobbled on the landing slightly. To his surprise, and fear, she tried it again in the final, landing herself a 96. Which also landed her the gold medal.

Lando’s body never relaxed, not until after the podium celebrations. Not until she was taking off her snowboard boots and packing her stuff away in the back of the car. The smile on her face had remained since she had realized she had won. It was the type of smile that made his heart warm and made him ever want to stop looking at it. However, even ten, he still felt a lingering sense of fear gripping at his heart.

This was going to be a long off-season for him.

December 2023 – Days Before The Canadian Big Air Competition

“Jesse!” Arabella yelled, following by the pounding on a door from the upstairs of the townhouse. Lando winced and returned to the kitchen.

Already that morning he had made two full pots of coffee. The first had been before Arabella had woken up. He had wanted to bring her breakfast in bed, which included coffee and a breakfast shake. When she finally stirred, and he had gone down to retrieve the breakfast he had made only to find the coffee pot empty and the shake missing from the fridge. When he tried to make another one, there were no frozen berries left, only bananas which Arabella hated.

Then, as he waited for the second pot he thought about making eggs and toast, except Vlad had written on the carton ‘Vlad’s only -need for comp this weekend.’ He settled on just toast, even went as far as hiding the peanut butter so that no one claimed it or finished it before he was able to make breakfast for his girlfriend.

He hadn’t realized giving her breakfast in bed would be so hard.

Except before he could get to the stairs with the toast in one hand, a coffee cup in the other, Arabella had started yelling. So, he returned to the kitchen, taking a bite out of the toast, and pulling up a chair to the kitchen table, waiting for the yelling to die down.

When he thought it had died down, he slid two more pieces of toast in the toaster just as the sound of her walking down the stairs. Rolling his eyes, he returned to the kitchen table.

“Can a girl not brush her teeth in the morning.” Arabella hissed as she entered the kitchen.

“Good morning.” Lando said with a smile as Arabella looked around the kitchen, her hair a mess and her shoulders tense. Making her ways towards him, she reached him and took the coffee from his hands. “Please, have some of mine.” He said watching her take a long sip.

“The pots empty.” She said lowering the mug just long enough to speak. Turning he looked towards the pot his eyes wide, and he saw it was in fact empty.

“I made two pots this morning, already.” He groaned, running a hand over his face.

“This close to a competition? You’re lucky there’s any grounds left.” She took another sip before setting the cup down on the table and crawling onto his lap.

“I was going for breakfast in bed.” Lando said, wrapping his arms around her and pulled her close against his chest. “I tried to make you a shake, but someone took it, and Vlad claimed all the eggs.”

“Yeah, he does that.” She said with a nod.

“Well, I made toast…” He turned towards the toaster, just in time to see Vlad walking away with a plate of three pieces of toast. “And now it’s gone.” Arabella giggled.

“Come on, we’ll go out for breakfast.” She brushed her lips against his. “I appreciate the thought though.” He let her pull him too his feet and followed her back towards the stairs. Past where Vlad was sitting on the couch, a plate of toast in front of him and a mug of pipping hot coffee.

Lando bit back his groan as he said, “Remind me again why we didn’t stay at my place?” He scowled at Vlad as they walked up the stairs.

“Because I didn’t want to lug all my Canada stuff there,” she said with a smile as they got to the top of the stairs, “and you said Quadrant was doing something there this week.” They made it into her room and she shut the door behind them.

“We need our own place.” The words were out of his mouth before he even realized what he had said, and it wasn’t until Arabella turned, slowly her eyes wide.

“What did you say?” Lando swallowed, the full weight of what he was saying hitting him. “Lando?”

“I said,” he cleared his throat, “we should get our own place.”

“But we’ve only been dating for…”

“Four months.” He finished for her.

“Is that not too soon?” Arabella’s voice had turned very small, almost scared. He stepped towards her, reaching for her he brushed his thumb against her cheek.

“Not for me.” He kept his voice soft, as he cupped her face in his hands. “I have loved you for a lot longer than four months, and I want to spend every waking moment with you.”

“Lando…”

“No buts.” He said, a smile spreading across his face. “Look, I know you were with Max, and I know that you loved him, and that means that this was really fast, but I’ve never been as sure of anything in my life. I am madly in love with you.” Arabella’s eyes rimmed with silver, and he slid his thumb over her cheek, ready to catch any tears that slipped through.

“But our jobs…”

“I know our jobs take us to opposite corners of the earth sometimes, but I want to have a place that we both come back too. Even if it’s just to sleep or spend a day together during the week. I want to go to sleep in a bed with pillows that smell like your shampoo.” Arabella’s eyes closed and she leaned her cheek into his hand. “Look, it’s terrifying watching you complete, and I can only imagine how it feels for you to watch me race.” Her brows furrowed in confusion, and he chuckled.

“Lando what does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m saying that are jobs are terrifying, and I wanted a place that can be our safe haven. A place where we can leave all the fears and all the anxiety at the door. Somewhere where we know the other is okay. That the other is okay and coming home to us.”

Arabella felt she was going to melt in his arms. She had woken up in such a mess, been so angry minutes ago. All she had wanted to do was brush her teeth before she crawled back into bed with her incredibly, jaw droopingly hot in the morning, boyfriend, but Jesse had had other plans. She just wanted to spend as much time as possible with him before her flight to Canada in a few days.

Then he dropped this bomb on her.

He wanted to live with her, to have a home with her. God, she already stole his shirts so that she woke up in a bed that smelled like him, but she didn’t realize that he felt the same way. She had wanted to wake up next to him for longer than she could remember. Even before she had told him she loved him. Long because she had even admitted to herself that she had feelings for him.

“You’re wrong you know.” She said, her voice wavering with emotion as tears started to pool over and slide down her face. He caught ever since one, making her heart feel like it was going to burst, and she was completely okay if it burst in his hands. Because that’s what she had realized and never told him, that he had held her heart for longer than he even knew.

“Wrong about what?” He asked, his brows furrowed, and she hated the flicker of doubt across his eyes.

“I never loved Max.” She whispered, her eyes dropping down to his chest as her hands slid up over his heart. She could feel it beating under her palm. “I fell in love with you during our time on dark patios, I was just too scared to admit it before.” It was his turn for his eyes to rim with silver, and she smiled, brushing her fingers along his cheek. If he was brushing her tears away she was going to do the same for him.

“So, that’s a yes to our safe haven?” She nodded and he pulled her to him, brushing his lips against hers. It was soft and loving, caring and slow. He kissed her like he wanted it to last forever. Unhurried and perfect.

Arabella was melting into him, sliding her hands across him savoring every dip and crevice of him. Every muscle. Then someone was banging on her bedroom door. She felt her stomach drop and she groaned. Lando laughed dropping his head to her shoulder.

“What?” She hissed towards the door, wrapping her arms around his back, dragging her fingertips across his back.

“Do you guys want to go out for breakfast? Vlad claimed all the eggs again, and there’s only one piece of bread left.” Seb called through the door. When Lando lifted his head, Arabella had her eyebrow raised in a silent question.

“I don’t mind, especially since soon enough we’ll have our own kitchen where no one can claim the eggs.” Arabella giggled.

“Sure.” She called back.

“Hey, did you have coffee this morning?”

“Yeah why?” Lando called, before Arabella could cover his mouth with her hand.

“It’s just that if you take the last of it, in this house, we make another pot.” Lando groaned and dropped his head to her shoulder again.

“Our safe haven will have our own coffee maker too.” Arabella said with a smile. 

Chapter Text

November 2024

There was no sound but a light breeze blowing stray leaves across the asphalt track. It still smelt like fuel exhaust and burnt rubber, but the breeze brought a sweet undertone from the lilac fields along the edge of the track. All she could feel, even with the cool night air and the breeze, was him. His heartbeat against her chest, his hands on her.

He had kissed her, kissed her in the way she had always dreamed he would. His lips were tender, and his movements slow and sweet. He kissed her in a way that threatened to consume her. He took his time, unhurriedly memorizing every movement, every sound she made, every breath she took. The way he gripped her was out of desperation, whether not to lose her, or to never let the moment end she didn’t know.

Nor did she care, he had kissed her.

Her hands slid up the front of his shirt, sliding between the fabric of his suit jacket and of his shirt. She could feel his heart beating underneath her fingertips. His hand slid up her bare spine, leaving a trail of goosebumps and fire in its wake.

“Why’d you stop?” She had whispered once he had pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers. His breathing was heavy, and she could tell his control was hanging by a thread. Her own heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.

“I told you,” he breathed, his eyes remaining closed, “I don’t want to go backwards.” His head shook. “I can’t go backwards.”

It should have felt like he was dumping a bucket of ice on her, should have stopped her in her tracks, terrified her. The plea in his voice, the desperation. A part of her was scared, a part of her wanted to run away, to hide from him. To everything that he was offering her.

Somehow, there was a bigger part of her that was okay with it. That almost welcomed hearing it. His words made her heart skip a beat, made butterflies take off in her stomach. All in the best way. Everything in that moment felt so good, felt so perfect.

Felt so right.

So, instead of running, instead of begging him to kiss her, she just leaned into him. Their foreheads pressed together as their breathing calmed. His hands continued to move up and down her spine. For a few minutes they stayed like that, clinging to each other before Lando leaned back and smiled at her.

“Dance with me.” He said, taking a small step back he held his hand out between them. Arabella glanced between his hand and his face.

“There’s no music.” His smile only broadened, and she felt her heart skip a beat at the sight.

“I know.” He gave a small shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve wanted to dance with you for a long time, but we always seem to leave parties before I get a chance to ask.” Her smile broadened and she found herself setting her hand in his.

“Okay.” He pulled her hand to his shoulder, before sliding his own along her back. Their other hands found each other, their fingers sliding and dancing against one another as Lando started leading her.

They swayed back and forth, he would spin her, then bring her back against him. All the while his fingers never stopped tracing patterns on her palm or along her spine. At first she was worried she’d step on his foot, or she’d miss a step; she had never been very good at dancing. However, Lando had enough coordination to help her through it all. Soon she relaxed into him, the hand on his shoulder sliding up and across the back of his neck, her fingers playing with the loose curls of his hair.

A ringing pierced through the air, yanking Arabella from her dream. One second she was dancing, the next she was sitting up jolted awake and having a pillow thrown at her head. For a moment she didn’t know where she was, or what was happening. All she knew was that her chest ached, her eyes were stinging and that was definitely her snowboard leaning up against the wall next to Katie's.

And something was ringing.

It took her a moment to realize it was her phone, and it had been Katie who threw the pillow at her. Her groans filled the room. They were in the Canadian Rockies, training, and this was the condo they had rented with Vlad, Seb, and some coaches.

“Bella, what the actual fuck? It’s 4 in the fucking morning.” She groaned, grabbing one of her many pillow and slamming it over her head. Arabella instantly got to tearing up her bead, looking for her phone. More on instinct than anything else, she started to panic. When she found it, she hardly had a second to see who was calling before she answered.

“Hello?” She said and Katie groaned again. Arabella forced herself to take a deep breath before she slid from the bed, making her way towards the door.

“Arabella?” Max’s voiced filled her ear and she paused, pulling her phone back to look at the screen and confirm what she was hearing.

“Max?” She carefully closed the door behind her. “Is everything alright?”

“Of course.” His tone was confused. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because you’re calling me at 4 am.” Max didn’t respond for a moment. “Where are you?”

“Qatar, where are you?”

“Canada.” Despite the early morning, and the persistent ache in her chest, Arabella smiled. Bringing a hand up she rubbed a fist into her chest.

“Fuck, I thought you’d be back in Europe by now.”

“Not for a few more weeks. We’ve got a few competitions on this side of the pond.”

“We?” Arabella furrowed her brows in confusion at the shift in his tone as she sat herself on the top of the stairs.

“Well, Katie’s here with me. You woke her up too, so you’ll owe her some sort of apology.”

“That’s it, just the two of you?” Arabella snorted, she started to feel annoyed, but she didn’t understand why. Her not understanding her own feelings were getting really exhausting.

“No, my coach is here, Vlad and Seb and their coaches. You know the whole Red Bull team.”

“Right.” He said, and she fought the urge to roll her eyes.

“Is there a reason you called Max?”

“I was just wondering when I was going to see you back in the paddock?” Arabella wasn’t sure what part of his question brought up the flood of emotions. Wasn’t sure why she was suddenly feeling misunderstood, hurt, and downright furious. Maybe it was because he had lied to her after she woke up, not told him that he had cheated. Or maybe it was from something that she didn’t remember.

“I honestly hadn’t thought about it.” She said, her tone harsh. “I don’t really have any reason to go anymore.” There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. “Look, I gotta get up in like an hour for training, so I’ll just text you or something.”

“Sure, yeah, no problem.” He said. “I just have the race this weekend…”

“Don’t worry Max,” she snapped, “I’ll check the time change if I ever decide to call you.” She hung up the phone before he could answer.

The last time she had thought about him had been just before her final run in Cooper Mountain. She had been panicking and just needed someone to talk her down. Tell her she wasn’t dumb or crazy. Someone to understand her drive, understand how snowboarding was apart of who she was.

Someone who understood how she needed to do it.

Honestly, she wasn’t even sure if talking to Max had helped her more than talking to anyone else. He was just the first person she could think of who would understand her in that moment. Since then, he hadn’t crossed her mind.

It took her a few seconds of googling to find out that Max was in a championship fight with Lando Norris, one that was predicted to go to the very last race of the season. She also found out that Max had a girlfriend, Kelly, the same one who he had cheated on her with. Arabella snorted and rolled her eyes. Any underlying feelings of guilt for the way she had snapped at Max dissipated.

Before she put her phone down, she let her curiosity get he better of her and she changed her search from Max Verstappen to Lando Norris.

A few articles popped up about his season, the championship fight with Max and how not many people could believe that he was challenging the Red Bull for the championship. Zac Brown was ecstatic, there were hundreds of photos of the pair of them on the podium, or in the paddock celebrating. There were a few shoey’s that Lando did when he took the top spot on the podium, and countless videos of his ‘signature’ champagne shower.

The ache in her chest seemed to intensify the more she looked at the articles and photos. Another annoying feeling she couldn’t place.

One article caught her eyes, and once again she wasn’t sure why she pressed on it. Why she looked through all the photos twice, and once she had read every word of the article, she googled another name beside Lando’s.

Lando Norris and Louisa.

A photo of the pair of them in the paddock, her wearing a McLaren shirt with the number 4 on it had her turning off her phone and placing her head in her hands. Her chest felt like it was caving in, making it harder to breath.

The idea of going back to sleep scared her enough that she pushed herself up off the stairs and made her way down towards the kitchen. Not only did she want to avoid the attack of more pillows being thrown at her from her roommate, but she also wasn’t ready to return to her dreams. She didn’t know where that dream came from, but the feelings from it hadn’t completely gone away, even with the phone call, and that scared her.

“Can’t sleep?” Arabella practically jumped out of her skin. She had someone failed to notice the television on and Vlad sitting on the couch. He was smiling, enjoying the idea of scaring her until he noticed that her face was tear stricken. “Is everything oaky?” He leaned forward, pulling his feet off the coffee table.

“Yeah,” she wiped at her cheeks to try and get rid of the tear stains she didn’t know where there, “I just…” she motioned back the stairs trying to find her words, “I just…. I…. I was having the weirdest dream and then Max called me.”

“Max?” Vlad rolled his eyes. “What the fuck did he want?” Arabella’s eyebrows shot up as she stepped closer to the couch.

“Nothing really.” She shrugged, dropping herself onto the couch beside him. “I called him at Cooper Mountain, so I think…”

“Wait, I’m sorry,” he waved his hands sitting up even further and turning to look at her, “what?” Despite the way she was feeling, she smiled at the protectiveness that seeped into his voice.

“Just before my last run, after I fell, I just needed to talk to someone who understood.” Vlad gave her a ‘what the fuck’ look. “Everyone who was there, kept tip toeing around me. Everyone was worried I was going to fall again and make everything worse.” A flicker of pain slid over his eyes. “I understand why everyone was so scared, but I needed to hear it from someone that I could do it.” She took a deep breath. “I honestly, didn’t even realize I was calling him until he picked up.”

“So, he called you, just the chat?” Vlad glanced over the back of the couch towards the clock on the wall. “At 4am?”

“Since when do we talk about boys?” She said, with a short laugh. The comment as meant to lighten the mood, to make him smile, but it did the opposite. Vlad glanced down at his hands.

“You know, it wasn’t just your relationship with Lando you forgot.” He said, not looking at her.

“I know, I’m sorry.” It was the truth, she had felt lost for a long time, and coming back to the townhouse had helped get her feeling back to who she was. With or without her memories, it had been her friends that made her feel more like herself. A part of her knew she had forgotten memories with them, she’d seen photos, but in her efforts to get back to normal she didn’t acknowledge them either. “So, fill me in, when did we become so close?”

“Honestly,” he turned his head towards her, “right after your father died.” She sucked in a breath, turning her eyes away from him. “Don’t get me wrong there was a lot that changed around that time that brought us closer, but after your father’s funeral you moved back in with us full time and well,” he motioned around them, “we did a lot of this.”

“Ahh.” She gave a slow nod.

“That and you literally caught me in the act.” Arabella laughed, snorting so loud she was sure she woke someone in the house. “After that there was no going back.” Vlad joined in, laughing at the memory she had obviously forgotten.

“It’s Katie, isn’t it?” She spoke through fits of laughter, Vlad’s head snapped towards her.

“Don’t you dare tell me…”

“I don’t remember.” She said quickly, squashing the hope in his eyes. “I just, had a hunch.” Arabella swallowed, not feeling the need to explain to him that it was something she knew, she just didn’t know how she knew it exactly.

“We’re still keeping it a secret, although it’s getting harder and hard.” He took a breath. “And honestly, I’m not 100% sure why we’re still keeping it from everyone.”

“Well, if they don’t know by now then their blind. You could probably start grabbing her ass in the kitchen and no one would notice.” He barked out a laugh.

“Honestly, I just don’t want to have to sneak in and out of my girlfriend’s room. How many times Benny would be banging on my door in the morning to go for a morning run and I wouldn’t even be in there.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head. Arabella was still laughing. “She’s my rock.” He spoke after a few moments, his voice turning serious. “After your accident, I blamed myself,”

“Vlad.”

“I know, I know.” He leaned his head back on the couch, looking up to the ceiling as if he could see to where Katie was sleeping. “It was hard, not knowing when you’d wake up. I’m not sure where I would be if it wasn’t for her.” Arabella smiled, leaned her head on his shoulder.

“I’m glad you had each other.”

“I’m glad we got you back.”

“Most of me.” She corrected and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“I’ll take you with a few less memories over not at all any day.” She snorted and he gave her shoulders another squeeze.

“For the record,” Arbella said after a few moments, “I think you and Katie are a really good match. You need someone to call you out on your shit.” Vlad barked out a laugh.

“You know you’ve told me that once already.” Arabella cuddled in loser to him, tucking her feet up under her.

“Yeah, well, I’m saying it again.” The mood shifted, and for a moment neither of them spoke. The television was still playing, the sound near silent. They sat like that for a few minutes, the sun slowly starting to show it’s colors out the windows.

“I was dreaming about Lando,” Arabella said, as the credits rolled on the show they had been watching, “when he called and woke me up.”

“Really?” She could feel him turn to look down at her, but she kept her eyes on the television. The ache in her chest had never fully gone away, and her eyes were starting to sting again as she remembered how empty she felt when she had woken up.

“I…” she started, swallowing back the lump in her throat, “I think…,” Finally, she turned to look at him, pressing the heel of her hand into her chest. “I think I want you to tell me about him. About us.”

Qatar Grand Prix

When Lando Norris entered the paddock the morning of the sprint race, he arrived to a sea of reporters. Everyone wanted to know about the championship fight, how he was feeling about it, what his opinion was on the newest reports coming out free practice. The Red Bull had been faster, which gave them more confidence going into the sprint qualifying.

Their confidence only grew when Max took pole and Lando qualified 3^rd for the sprint race.

The tension around the McLaren team was heavy and only getting worse over the weekend. All Lando wanted to do was hide form everyone who looked at him with even a sliver of doubt in their eyes. Everyone who questioned how he’d done it, how McLaren had created a car that could challenge Max in a Red Bull. No one else had been able to challenge him.

Now, McLaren had a chance to bring home a championship, and Lando was the one who needed to take them across that finish line.

The garage was eerily silent as Lando got himself ready for the sprint race. The background noise that Lando had grown used to seemed to be quieter. No one spoke, everyone was just focused on the task in front of them or looking anywhere except for Lando.

With a deep breath, Lando slid himself into the car, not looking at any of the faces around him. He couldn’t bear to see the hope and desperation in their eyes. His breakfast had already come up, the power bar he had eaten to try and replenish his strength needed to stay where it was.

Any lingering feelings of doubt were squashed as Lando and Max both came back to the pit lane, Lando’s McLaren parked in front of the first-place marker and Max’s Red Bull on the back of a truck.

The mood was electric. They hadn’t beaten him, not yet, but this helped. A lot. Lando extended his lead, and with only two races left, there was a slim chance the championship fight could end Sunday at the race. If Max someone ended up with zero points the following day and Lando finished first, it would be over.

Lando wasn’t thinking about that as he jumped out of his car. As he hugged his team and Zac Brown who looked on the verge of tears. He didn’t think about how close he was to winning the championship, at making all of his dreams come true.

All he thought about was the fact that he had just won the sprint.

Louisa was there, along the fence with the engineers and mechanics. Her long tan legs were sticking out of blue cut off shorts paired with a white tank top. Her hair was up in a high pony-tail and big sunglasses covered most of her face. Nothing could hide her smile; hide how proud of him she was.

When he hugged her, she squealed. He lifted her slightly, careful of the barrier between them and she wrapped her arms around him hugging him. “Congrats baby!” All he could smell was fuel exhaust and sweat, but he was glad to have her against him. Glad to hold someone, to celebrate with someone.

In the privacy of the garage afterwards, he kissed her. In front of the mechanics and engineers. Up until that moment there had been suspicious, but Lando had never made any public claim to be dating her. And the next morning, after he took pole in qualifying, he didn’t have to force a smile. He walked confidently through the sea of reporters, with Louisa’s hand in his.

Officially announcing to the world that Lando Norris was off the market.

Canadian Rockies

“Please, she is my family.”

“Are you a blood relative?” A pause.  “Are you married?” Another pause. “Like I said before, I’m sorry but this is a family only area. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“You don’t understand, she is my family.” His voice was pleading, desperate. It cracked at times. “I just need to see her for a minute, she just needs to know that I’m here. That I…”

“Sir, I’m really sorry…” The words trailed off, as pain wrapped around her skull. Muffling everything around her. Her head felt thick, heavy, and her neck was stiff. She forced herself to turn, wincing, towards the sound. Towards whoever was talking. She felt like she had to see, had to just open her eyes and see.

“Please.” Pain sliced through her eyes as she tried to open them, she winced again which brought more pain. A groan tried to escape her lips, but it didn’t make it past her throat. She wanted to ask for water, ask for help. She needed help. Everything hurt, her head, her throat.

She wanted to scream.

Someone was crying, sobs breaking through the fog. The ache in her skull subsided enough that she felt like she could lift an eyelid. Just slightly. Just enough to see two figures standing just outside the door. A woman with a cap on stood in the doorway blocking the others path into the room.

Monitors beeped around her, tubes and wires connected to machines. She tried to open her mouth, to talk, but there was something down her throat stopping her. Her entire body felt heavy, almost felt like it was strapped down.

“Listen, that woman in there isn’t just the love of my life. She’s a part of me, of my soul. And you’re about to cut into her brain.” His voice waivered. “She’s not just my family, she’s my reason for breathing. You have to let me see her.”

The response was muffled, and their figures still barely visible through the crack she had managed to open her eye. She could make out more figures showing up, taller and more broad than both the others.

“Please.” He pleaded again, his voice quiet and desperate. If she focused, she could slide her eye open further, just enough to make out his face. To figure out who he was.

She could make out the head of mangled brown curls, the tear-stained face and slumped shoulders. He looked familiar, felt important to her. But she couldn’t remember his name, who was he? She kept looking at him trying to find some piece that would trigger a name. Who was he? Who was he to her?

Who was she?

The monitors beeping started to pick up around her as panic seeped in. Who was she? Her breathing got faster, the pain in her head came back.

Who was she?

She opened her mouth to try and say the words, but there was something down it, something blocking her ability to speak. All she could do was mouth it.

“Who am I?” She mouthed.

An alarm went off and all the figures in the doorway turned to her. Whoever had been blocking the doorway swept into the room, looking at different screens. Her hands were on her.

“What is that? What does that mean?” He was closer now, demanding an answer from the woman, the nurse. She ignored him, pressing a button on the wall. Shoving him aside, she bolted for the door.

“Page the surgeon!” She yelled before coming back into the room. More people followed her in. “We need to get her into the OR, she’s crashing.”

“What do you mean crashing?” He demanded.

“Sir, please, we let us do our jobs.” Someone said.

“Security, get him out of here.” Another demanded.

“No, no, you have to let me tell her I love her.” He was struggling against the security guards, but her vision as going blurry. Her head became so heavy.

“Call down to the OR make sure it’s prepped, and they know we’re coming.”

Suddenly all she wanted was to sleep.

“Arabella!” Someone was calling. Was that who she was? “Arabella! I love you.” Something in her chest cracked, “Please,” it shattered, “Please, just come back to me.” He was crying now, sobbing. It was blurry but she could make him out on his knees, his hand reached out for her, his other gripped the security guards.

Were they holding him back? Or holding him up? She didn’t know.

She didn’t even know her own name.

“Sedation in.”

As blackness creeped into her vision, and a fogginess seemed to wrap around her bones, she kept her eyes on him. On him sobbing, still reaching for her. She didn’t know who he was, or who she was, but she knew she wanted to find out who he was to her.

She wanted to come back, for him.

Arabella woke with a start, her chest aching and her entire body feeling tingly and heavy. She threw herself out of bed if only to prove to herself she could move. The movement was fast, too fast for the blankets wrapped around her and she landed with a thump on the floor of her room.

Katie groaned and rolled over, nestling closer to Vlad.

Since the first night she had woken up and spent the early hours of the morning talking to Vlad, she had told him it didn’t bother her that he spent the night with Katie as long as they didn’t sleep naked. Since then, he had spent every night sneaking into their room after Seb went to sleep. Even though Seb knew, he made a comment to Arabella about a threesome that made Arabella spit her coffee out over the edge of the chair and onto whoever was skiing underneath them.

Arabella’s breathing was heavy, and her muscles ached, her hip and shoulder had taken the brunt of her weight, both were screaming at her and there was definitely part of a rug burn on the side of her face. Leaning her back against the wall, she placed a palm to her chest, trying to focus on slowing her breathing, calming herself down and not what she had been dreaming about.

It was no use. Within moments of her focusing on her breathing, she burst into tears. Clamping a hand over her mouth she muffled the sobs that were making their way up her throat. The panic she had felt in the dream, still radiated through her limbs. Reminding her of what it was like to be immobile.

What it had been like for her.

“Bella?” Vlad’s voice slid through the quiet room, and she didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer without taking her hand away from her mouth. She needed to calm down.

She heard the rustling of sheets, and then the quiet footsteps as Vlad came around his bed. From her spot on the floor she could see him looking around, noticing her empty bed. When he noticed her sitting against the wall he didn’t say anything, just came around the bed and lowered himself beside her. It was a tight fit with his broad shoulders, and long legs, but he made it work. His hair was a mess, and his eyes dropping with sleep, but there was no concern in his eyes.

His hand came up to her thigh, she ignored the shock of his hand on her bare thigh as he squeezed and then released. The movement was in time with his breathing, slowly taking a deep breath in, holding it and then letting it all out. He was exaggerating the movement with his shoulders and chest, making sure she heard it.

Arabella tried to keep breathing in pace with his. Using the movements of his hand on her leg as a guide. Slowly she felt herself calming down, slowly she felt the sobs stop and her breathing come back to normal.

“I…” She managed, taking her hand away from her mouth. He didn’t say anything, just waited for her to try and figure out the words. “I don’t…” She leaned her head back and swallowed. “It was another dream.”

“About Lando?” She nodded, and he gave her leg a light squeeze.

“I don’t…” She started again, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, tucking her into his side. “I…” It felt impossible to form the words, her brain was reeling trying to piece it together, trying to form the words to tell Vlad what she suspected was going on. When she spoke, he tensed around her and a peek up at him noted his eyes were wide and his face.

“Vlad, I don’t think they’re just dreams.” 

Chapter Text

February 2024 – Chur Slope Style Competition, Switzerland

There were very few things that could get Lando Norris out of bed on a day off. Even fewer things that could get him out of bed during his offseason and he was on vacation. There was really only one thing that would drag him from a hotel bed that rivaled his own obscenely expensive one he had in his apartment in Monaco.

And that was Arabella Van Dijk.

He had no issue admitted it, he was hooked. Love wasn’t the drug, she was. Everything about her, the way she walked, talked, the way she subconsciously reached for him whenever he was around. The pout that appeared on her unconscious face when he got out of bed before she woke up. He loved the way she curled up on the patio of every hotel they went to, no matter who cold, and watched the stars. It’s why he made sure their apartment in Monaco didn’t just have a patio, but an entire roof terrace where she could watch the stars all night if she wanted. Lando especially loved when she fell asleep out there and he got to carry her back to bed with him. The way her fingers always seemed to find the curls at the base of his neck, even if she was asleep.

She was exactly why at an ungodly early hour he found himself not at all annoyed when Arabella slid back into bed beside him, still sweaty from her morning run, and woke him up. It helped that she did so by brushing kisses along his bare shoulder, then his neck, moving up to his ear them back down to his chest. Sliding herself on top of him.

“Morning.” He said, as she brushed her lips against his stomach. His voice was groggy and one of his eyes wouldn’t open, but he did his best to smile down at her.

“Training was canceled this morning.” She said, her smile mischievous as she dropped her lips lower on his stomach, flicking her tongue out over him.

“So, you’re coming back to bed?” He forced the words out as her chest brushed against his thighs, sliding over his crotch. She shook her head, her braid falling over her shoulder and tickling his side. Her lips moved lower, trailing along just above the waistband of his boxers.

“No, I was going to hop in the shower actually.” Words, he needed to form words. She slid a finger underneath the waistband of his boxers, her fingers milometers from where he desperately wanted her to be.

“Probably best, you stink.” Her teeth sunk into one of his abs and he gasped, his shoulders jerking forward.

“Rude,” Arabella pulled back, “I was going to invite you to join me.” Lando reached for her, but she was too fast. Rolling off the bed she stood, her hands resting on her hips. “But now I think I’m going to lock the door.” She pouted at him, but it was a failed attempt at a pout. Amusement was dancing in her eyes, as she gripped the hem of her sports bra. “I’ll be sure to moan extra loud for you,” she pulled the bra over her head, “while I fuck myself.”

“No.” He growled, throwing himself towards the edge of the bed. His hand was outstretched towards her, but she was out of reach, and he was still tangled in the blankets. “I didn’t mean it baby, I promise.” Lando made it closer to the edge of the bed, still reaching for her, but she stepped backwards. The pout shifting into a mischievous smile.

“No, I think your right.” Another step back. “I really do stink.” Without breaking eye contact, she hooked her thumbs into the waist band of her leggings and slid them down her legs. Lando shoved his face into the pillows and groaned as he noticed her lack of underwear.

“Arabella.” Her name was a desperate growl on his tongue as he dragged himself up and shoved the blankets off him and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

“Lando.” Arabella responded with an innocent and sweet tone her eyes wide.

“Let me make it up to you.” He reached for her again, his eyes trailing over her naked body like coals. God, she was stunning, every inch of her was immaculate. Lando knew he could spend every day for the rest of his life, just staring at her. However, if he was forced to go one more minute without touching her, he was going to explode.

“Let you make it up to me?” She popped a curved hip to the side and slid a finger between her teeth. “And how would you do that?”

Without hesitating Lanod slid to his knees and crawled across the floor to where she was, the entire time keeping his eyes on hers. When he reached her, he kissed her shins, up to her knees and then sat up to kiss his way up her muscular thighs. She let out a soft moan when his lips found the spot just inside of her hip bone. The spot that he knew drove her wild. He smiled against her, sliding his hands up the back of her legs. In one fluid motion, he wrapped his arms around her legs and yanked her over his shoulder as he stood up.

“Lando!” She squealed as he gave her backside a little smack before he started towards the ensuite bathroom.

“Come on, my stinky girl, lets get you cleaned up.” He gave her another smack before setting her down on the counter so he could turn on the water.

“You’re making me sound like a dog.” She said, as he stepped between her legs the water already filling the room with steam. “I’m not a dog.” Arabella crossed her arms over her chest, her bottom lips sliding out in another pout. He couldn’t help himself, he was already fighting the urge to bite her lip, he smiled.

“You’d be a very cute dog.” Lando leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her lips. His hands slid up her sides. “Besides if you’re a dog, I’m a dog.”

“Are you quoting the notebook to me?” The corner of her lips twitched upwards as he pressed another kiss to them, and her arms uncrossed sliding around his neck.

“I believe it’s ‘if you’re a bird, “another kiss, “then I’m,” kiss, “a”, kiss, “bird.” She giggled her hands sliding into his curls, and the next time he kissed her she opened up without hesitation letting his tongue slid between her lips.

It started slow, but it shifted quickly. Both of them desperate to be as close to each other as possible. Arabella arched her back, pressing her chest into his as his hand slid down gripping her backside so hard it hurt. A moan slipped through her lips as he pulled her against the front of his boxers. Her fingers gripped his curls, her other hand sliding down to his shoulder, pulling him as tightly against her as she possible could.

“Lando.” She moaned, and he growled at the desperation of her voice, at the plea in his name.

“For you baby, fucking anything.” Breaking the kiss, he lowered himself to his knees, pressing kisses down her front. Her fingers gripped his curls, another moan broke free of her lips as he kissed the inside of her thighs.

A loud knock on the exterior door of their hotel room made them both pause, but only for a moment before Lando kissed her thigh again. Arabella let out a breathy “fuck” just as another knock, louder this time, echoed through the room. Followed by three more in quick succession. Lando groaned.

“It’s probably my roommates.” Arabella said as she let out a breathy laugh. Lando groaned again, it sounding more like a growl from deep in his throat.

“I though you said you have the morning off.” He slid his lips along her thigh, away from where he wanted to be pausing just inside of her knee, looking up at her.

“We do.” She gasped as he slid a hand up her opposite thigh, stopping just shy of their apex. “But they…” Another knock and Lando growled. “We usually have breakfast on days off.” She managed, her entire brin fuzzy considering who was kneeling between her legs.

“Bella!” Someone yelled followed by more bangs on the door.

“They don’t take a hint do they?” Arabella shook her head, words failing her. Lando loved her like this, naked, flushed and struggling for words. Not to mention his view from his knees was outstanding. He wanted to hear her moan his name again, wanted to hear her beg and scream. And then when she can’t stand on her legs anymore, he would hold her up against the wall of the shower and fuck her until she couldn’t remember her name.

Yeah, her roommates needed to fuck off.

“Don’t move.” Lando said as he stood and then walked out of the bathroom. He returned only a few minutes later, a robe around his shoulder, which he shrugged off as he stepped back into the bathroom.

“How did you get them to go away?” She asked, noticing the silence, and the fact that Lando was sliding his boxers off.

“I offered to pay for their room service.” He said as he knelt in front of her again.

“Lando, you didn’t.”

“I’m a millionaire.” He said with a shrug. He didn’t give her a chance to comment, lowering himself to the apex of her thighs, making sure the next word that came out of her mouth was his name wrapped in a moan. 

Arabella was convinced she was in heaven, or at least as close as she would ever get while being alive. Curled up in an exceptionally soft robe, her legs completely useless from so many orgasms and watching the fluffy white snow fall outside the window of the hotel suite with the love of her life. On the table in front of her were the remnants of the room service breakfast they had ordered. When she couldn’t decide between a few different dishes, Lando just ordered one of everything. She had just stared at him as he did it, her mouth hanging open. He just smiled and gave her a light kiss on the forehead as he walked past her.

Even the imprint of the shower tiles on her knees was adding to the heaven feeling that was surrounding her. Especially with the memory of Lanod loosing his absolute mind with his hand in her hair. The memory of her name on his lips as he moaned, his free hand gripping one of the shelves in the shower. It fueled her to go deeper, to gag on his as she looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes. She didn’t stop as the shelf broke, or as his knees started to shake. She only stopped once he had finished, and was sliding down the shower, to sit in front of her.

Yeah, this was heaven.

It wasn’t long after they had finished eating, Arabella received another message from her coach saying that training for the afternoon was canceled as well. Organizers were in a panic; they had been working on the course all morning. When they cleared a part of the slopestyle course, an hour later it was covered in snow again. The thick flakes caused visibility to be a nightmare and it was so heavy that they were running out of places to put it all.

Even thought it meant the whole reason she was in Switzerland might get cancelled, and she might miss out on valuable points for the championship, she didn’t mind the extra day off. Especially because it was an extra day that Lando also had off.

Not to mention she enjoyed spending her days off lying on her back with Lando looking up at her from between her legs. The way he made her mind go blank with his tongue. Make her back arch, one hand gripping his curls the other gripping the headboard for dear life. The euphoria from coming on his tongue, his name on her own lips, only made her want more of him.

She wondered if she would ever stop wanting him.

The next time there was a knock at the door, it was quieter more respectful. Arabella slid out of bed; she stumbled her legs Jello which made Lando laugh. When she made it to the front door, dressed Lando close behind, she opened it to find Katie on the other side. She was dressed in her snowpants and jacket, almost like she was going to training, only she was missing her snowboard.

“Get dressed, we’re going out.” She said with a smile as she pushed into the room. Behind her, the rest of Arabella’s roommates followed, not looking at her, their demeanor was almost embarrassed.

“I didn’t have any boots,” Benny grumbled, “so she made me ear my snowboarding boots.” He made it into the living room and dropped onto the couch.

“Man, I could get used to this.” Vlad said looking around the room. Room was the wrong word for what Lanod had rented for the weekend. It looked more like an apartment, different rooms with lavish furnishings, two bathrooms and two different kitchens. One for the guest and one for dinner service if required.

“Shame we couldn’t have breakfast here.” Katie said, and more than one of the boys turned and shushed her. It just made her giggle and Arabella shake her hide, hiding her smile.

“You didn’t enjoy your breakfast Katie?” Lando said coming in from the bedroom. He glanced from Katie to Vlad. “What about you Vlad?” Katie’s cheeks turned rosy, and Vlad shot her a look. Arabella raised her eyebrows looking to Lando for confirmation.

“My breakfast was amazing.” Benny said, rubbing his stomach. “Thanks man.”

“Anytime.” Lando said, dropping onto the couch beside him. “Are you wearing snowboard boots? I thought training was canceled.” Benny groaned dropping his head back.

“He’s the idiot who didn’t pack boots.” Katie said.

“I didn’t expect to be going out and playing in the snow!”

“Playing in the snow?” Lando looked around the room at everyone in snowpants and jackets. “What’s going on?”

“Sledding.” Katie said with a mischievous smile. Lando turned to Arabella his eyebrows raised who giggled. 

The snow was heavy and thick, sticking to everything as it fell and coating the world in a blanket of white fluff. Their footsteps were filled in within an hour as they trekked out onto the slopes. Somehow Katie had found some sleds, cheap things that were pretty much just small sheets of plastic and not enough for everyone to have their own. But they made it work.

At first, Lando had thought they were crazy. This wasn’t the first time he had been forced to do something certifiably insane with Arabella’s roommates, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Like trampoline dodgeball, after watching a few minutes of the roommates playing in the snow and bickering with each other. He was gasping for breath, laughing so hard his abs hurt.

His first time down the run, he went with Arabella between his legs, his arms wrapped around her as they slid through the snow. After that he never wanted to go alone. She squealed and laughed as they picked up speed, gripping his legs the entire way down. As if someone who flipped through the air could be scared of sledding. He loved seeing her this happy. The smile on her face was enough to light up the entire night sky.

“All I’m saying, is that I’m definitely faster than Vlad.” Benny said as the two of them made their way up the run. Without even looking at him, Vlad gave Benny a shove that sent him toppling into the snow. “Hey!”

“You’re not faster than me.” Vlad grumbled as he reached the top. Benny still struggling to pull himself out of the snow.

“I don’t know, he looked faster.” Arabella commented.

“You want to race, Bella?” Vlad seethed, but she just giggled.

“Maybe on a snowboard you’re faster…” Katie said, pointing a thumb over her shoulder, “but on this run, he’s faster.” Vlad’s look was menacing towards Katie who just giggled.

“Say that again.” Vlad said, squatting down he grabbed a handful of the fluffy snow, forming it into a snowball.

“Oh no,” Katie slid her fingers into her mouth, “I’m terrified.” A snowball flew, hitting Vlad in the side of the face. Laughter followed it, as Vlad turned, facing Arabella who had her hands over her mouth.

“You…” Vlad aimed and fired, only for Arabella to duck and for the snowball to hit Benny square in the chest causing him to loose his footing and fall back into the snow.

There was a moment of peace, a moment of everyone looking around to see what was going to happen before chaos erupted. Snowballs started flying, people were diving to get away from them. Laughter filled the top of the run. Vlad had thrown two at Katie, both missed before he finally caught her in the shoulder. Vlad’s triumphant smile was whipped off by a snowball hitting him in the chest thrown from Benny, who had missed four before finally hitting him. The look that followed made Benny dive back into the snow.

Lando had stayed out of it for the most part, just watching the chaos around him. Until a snowball caught him in the arm. It wasn’t thrown hard, more lobed towards him. When he turned, he saw a giggling Arabella reach down to make another one.

“Oh, it’s like that now is it?” He said, reaching down to make his own. Arabella nodded, his smile broadening as she pulled her arm back and threw another one at him. It hit him in the face, but the snow was too fluffy for it to hurt. Still, he dropped his mouth open, and she covered her mouth with her hands. For a moment she looked almost sorry, until he smiled, and she giggled again.

He could listen to that sound all day. 

Lando gave her no warning before he pounced, chasing her as she tried to get away from him. Behind them the rest of them were still throwing snowballs at each other, no one paying much attention to them. He caught up to her as she paused to grab more snow. With a squeal she threw fistfuls of snow at him as he tackled her to the ground.

“Come here.” He said, rolling her over he grabbed a fistful of snow and dropped it onto her face. He was careful not to hurt her, as she giggled and tried, very weakly to push him off of her. The smile was still on her face and her arms slid around his neck, pulling his lips down to hers.

He was too distracted by her lips and before he knew it she was rolling him over onto his back, shoving a fistful of snow in his face. Land laughed, shaking his head to get the snow free so he didn’t have to take his hands off of her. Pulling her back down to him, he kissed her again.

“It might be time to go back inside.” Seb said. Arabella and Lando looked up just as he motioned to where Benny was looking absolutely frozen. “Benny looks like he’s going to freeze to death.” The man was even shaking.

“It’s getting late.” Vlad said, glancing towards the sun as it dipped lower in the sky. The temperature had also dropped.

“We need a photo first!” Katie exclaimed fishing her phone out.

“I’ll take it.” Lando said, as Katie pulled her phone free. She handed it to him with no comment, but Arabella shook her head.

“No, you need to be in it.”

“I’ll get in the next one.” He promised, but with Benny’s shivering he was sure there wouldn’t be a second one. She reluctantly walked over to where her friends were standing. As Lando counted down to the photo, Arabella dropped a handful of snow on Vlad’s head, making him turn and glare at her in the most ‘Vlad’ way. The photo would be declared the favorite, much to Vlad’s annoyance and was the only one that Katie sent to the others.

Before they could take another one, Benny started walking down to the hotel and the rest trickled back. Arabella looked disappointed, and Lando pressed a kiss to her lips to try and cheer her up. It wasn’t that Lando didn’t want to be in the photo, it was that this memory, for Arabella, was one she wouldn’t want to forget. She needed a photo of them more than she needed a photo of him. He knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with her, but these friends? They might drift apart.

Life might get in the way.

“Stay back with me for a minute.” He spoke the words against her lips. “Watch the sunset with me.” Arabella nodded and curled into his side as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Only if you take a photo with me.” She said, and he looked down at her.

“Absolutely.” A smile broke out across her face as he pulled his phone out and held it up. They took a few photos, and he knew there was at least one where he was looking at her instead of the camera, but he couldn’t help it. She was stunning, and this was a memory he wanted to keep forever.

“I love you more than anything else in the word, you know that right?” He watched as her face shifted from a smile, to shock to a look of complete adoration.

“Anything?” She whispered, and he nodded.

“You are my world.” He said, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. “My everything.” Turning in his arms she wrapped hers around his neck pulling his forehead to hers.

“You’re my everything too.” She breathed, pressing her forehead to his. “My forever.” 

Chapter Text

December 2024 - Qatar Grand Prix

Lando sat in his car for a solid few minutes before he climbed out to the roaring sounds of the crowd. He had driven beautifully; everything had gone his way. Everything except for the disastrous pit stop. It was irrational to blame them. It was part of being on a team, everyone had their role, and something people screwed up. Just like sometimes he screwed up.

It just wasn't fair when an extra few seconds take a win away.

What was more frustrating was that his team held the current world record for fastest pit stop. They were always on top of it. He prayed in the debrief they would tell him there was something with the tyre, something that made it stuck, or that the gun jammed. Anything to tell him that it wasn't a human error.

Lando needed all the help he could get at keeping his mouth shut for the next few hours. He reminded himself he just had to get through the next little bit, a few interviews, and then the debrief. That was it. Then he could go back to his hotel room and feel every ounce of anger and betrayal he was feeling.

Before he was ready, he pulled the steering wheel out and set it on the top of his car. His fingers were shaking as he took off the safety straps, and then yanked himself from the car. He was careful not to rush, careful to make sure he didn't take any short cuts. Knowing the smallest thing would set him off.

Lando Norris was angry to the point of screaming, to he points of breaking something. Or getting in his mechanics face and make sure they knew that this lose was all on them. But that wasn't the type of driver he was, nor was it the type he wanted to be.

The only save grace, the only thing that kept Lando upright as he walked through the paddock to the McLaren garage was that, even with today's result, it wasn't enough to loose the lead in the championship. Max hadn't won the race, he had only landed third, which was enough to shrink the cushion Lando had, but not near enough to get ahead of him.

The post-race debrief was one of the most tense rooms Lando had ever stepped foot in. Words started quiet and timid, but it soon turned into a screaming match. Zac Brown slammed his hand on the table, stood and left. Leaving the rest of the room in complete silence. What made matters worse was that everyone turned to Lando, expecting him to say something.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, using the table to pull himself out of his chair before he turned and left. Ignoring the looks from every one of his mechanics, everyone on his team. He knew he should give them some sort of encouragement; they were a phenomenal team; he couldn't ask for better mechanics. But today they had failed him, and he just couldn't get over it.

On his way to his driver's room, he paused when he noticed who was waiting for him inside. Louisa was sitting on the bench, her legs crossed, scrolling aimlessly on her phone. He wanted someone to talk to, wanting someone to help him sort through his emotions, but for some reason his feet wouldn't carry him any further forward.

Instead, he turned and left, texting his assistant to make up some excuse with Louisa. Tell her that he needed time, needed to sort through this on his own. It was cowardice, not facing her, but he just couldn't.

What was worse, when he got back to the hotel room he felt lost. These were his things, his clothes in the closet, his computer on the table and his gaming consol connecting to the television. Everything about it was his, and it should have felt like a temporary home since he had been here for almost a week. Yet somehow he felt like an imposter.

Not just in the hotel room, but in his life.

Grabbing a few things, he sent a quick text off to his assistant and Louisa before walked out the door.

Edmonton Big Air Competition, Canada

The machine buzzing around her was so loud it was giving her more of a headache than she had walked through the front door with. It made her force her eyes closed, squeezing them shut as if she could suffocate the pain. Make it go away. She was desperate for it to go away. Not only because it hurt, but because with a headache there was no chance her coach was going to let her compete.

And she needed to compete.

Not like she was going to win the title. She'd be happy to place in the top ten, honestly, she'd be happy just to land her jumps. So, in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter if she missed this competition. What mattered was that she was healthy and remained healthy.

Vlad was the only other person there with her, other than her coach. She hadn't told anyone else. Hadn't even told Katie that she was having headaches, or that she was pretty sure she was getting some of her memories back. Vlad had been there when she had realized it, and he had promised to keep his mouth shut. Except during training when she had gotten a headache, and it had gotten worse through the night, he threatened her with telling everyone if she didn't go get it looked at.

Hence why she was in a hospital getting an MRI of her brain in the middle of the night.

"It's nothing." She said, sitting on the edge of the bed, her feet dangling over the edge. Dimitri was in the hallway on the phone and Vlad was sitting on the chair watching whatever TV show was playing.

"Maybe it's from your memories coming back."

"Or maybe it's nothing, and they're just dreams." Vlad turned to face her, his eyes narrowing. Arabella made a mental note to congratulate her best friend for landing such a hottie. Especially with his hair all tousled.

"You don't believe that." He said before turning back to the television and Arabella rolled her eyes.

"Either way if we don't get out of here soon, we're going to miss training."

"And you're worried people will find out."

"That's not it..." Vlad turned again, shutting her up with a look. "Okay, I don't want people knowing, what's so bad about that. Until I know that it's really happening..."

"You remembered things that I didn't even know, I think it's safe to say it's happening." Arabella's eyes drifted to the head of the hospital bed, to the machines that were turned off, the buttons on the wall, even the lamp. All of it was making something twitch in her brain, like a light bulb being turned on and slowly getting brighter and brighter. "Why are you so scared of them?" She turned to her friend, to one of her closest friends, that much she knew with or without her memories.

"I'm not."

"Liar." She opened her mouth to say something else, but the doctor, followed closely by Dimitri walked in and Vlad's lips twisted into a smug smiled.

"Alright, your scans show a perfectly healthy brain. There are bleeds, no swelling, nothing." She gave Arabella an encouraging smile. "I'm not sure what's causing your headaches, but it's nothing serious as far as I can tell. We can run a few more tests, but if I had to guess, I'd say it's your brain getting used to being flipped around in the air again."

"So, she should take it easy?" Dimitri asked, his tone borderline panicked. Arabella rolled her eyes, and Vlad just smiled.

"Not necessarily. I wouldn't push it to hard tomorrow, or rather today," she corrected after glancing at the clock, "if they get worse and some over the counter pain killers and some water doesn't fix it, then I'd maybe take it easy."

"But her..."

"I'm well aware of her condition, and I think Mrs. Van Dijk understands better than any of us that her body wasn't the same as before her accident. There are some kinks to work out, and some muscles to retrain, her brain is one of them." Vlad's smiled grew, but then promptly disappeared as he stood from his chair.

"Could this be a sign that her memories are returning?"

"Are your memories returning?" Both he doctors and Dimitri asked her at the same time. The doctor shot him a side eye which he didn't catch.

"No." Arabella said, giving a pointed look towards Vlad, before looking back at the doctor. "They're not." No one spoke, as if she needed to elaborate. "I've been having some weird dreams lately, but they're not memories."

"Weird dreams?" Dimitri asked.

"Are they keeping you awake at night?" Arabella smiled at the doctor's question, considering Vlad had brought her in at one in the morning.

"Sometimes."

"Then they could be the cause. Take it easy, don't go throwing any new tricks, and I wish you the best of luck today." The doctor said in a very dismissive tone. She couldn't have been very pleased with them showing up in the middle of the night, especially when Dimitri had showed up and started making demands. He had been terrified, which Arabella understood and was the reason she let him demand all night long. Dimitri had felt guilty for the accident, it was why he never dropped her as an athlete, why he had always held onto hope that she would wake up and make it back to the top.

They made it back with only an hour until their alarms, and when they woke in the morning Katie made a comment about how exhausted they looked. Vlad made some excuse about not sleeping very well, and Arabella just shrugged and locked herself in the bathroom to shower.

It was just like any other competition, except in Edmonton it was at the coliseum in the middle of the city instead of on a mountain. It meant lots of stairs, lots of people and not very many places to hide if she needed a minute. Not to mention it was freezing, and the elevation of the jump didn't help. Thankfully the boys went first, and when it was the girls turn the sun was high enough in the sky that it had warmed up, slightly.

Her first jump went perfectly, a safe jump she had been doing since she was a teenager. It got her a respectable score, but not enough to get her into the final, especially not with the competition around her. Katie landed a perfect trick, landing her in the top spot. Vlad was at the bottom cheering the loudest, which also meant he was receiving looks from Benny and Seb.

They're second jump went a little differently, Arabella had second guessed herself too much and ended up scratching. She stopped at the top of the jump and sat down, shaking her head before she pushed off and started back down the run in what she could only explain as the worst walk, or ride, of shame. Katie had done a similar trick to the first, only she wobbled on her landing, which wasn't helping her knee. That and the mountain of stairs they had the climb.

"You okay?" Arabella asked, as Katie limped her way up the stairs. They were only halfway back to the top and Katie had already stopped once.

"Yeah, my knee is just bugging me."

"I hate these fucking stairs." Katie snorted her agreement and fixed her board under her arm before she nodded for them to continue.

"Might want to take it easy on the next one." Arabella commented and Katie laughed.

"You need me to take it easy so you can beat me?" She said as they made it to the next landing. Arabella laughed, giving her friend a little shove on the shoulder.

"It's only fair, you know the coma and everything." Arabella motioned to her head and Katie's mouth fell open before.

"Oh, you got jokes now, don't you?" They laughed for a moment before they both focused on the next set of stairs. It was a lot of stairs, and even though they were arguably in impeccable shape, they both got to the top exhausted.

"I could go the rest of my life without ever having to do that again." Katie nodded her agreement as they collapsed into some chairs that were scattered around the landing only one set of stairs away from the top. "How's your knee?"

"Not happy." She admitted, rubbing her mitt on it. "Not because you told me too, but I might take the difficulty down a notch for this next one." Arabella chuckled. "What are you going to throw?"

"I don't know what I'm feeling." Katie nodded, standing, she did a few squats to test her knee out. She only winced once. Arabella frowned at her friend.

"You tell Vlad, you're dead." She chuckled, shaking her head.

"He's going to notice."

"I know, observant fucker he is." She shook her head which made Arabella laugh again. One of the volunteers called a few more bib numbers and those snowboarders started up the last stairs to the starting area.

"You know, you'll make it into the final whether you do this jump or not."

"Ah, two observant fuckers in my life." Arabella shrugged. "Come on, what trick are you throwing, we both know you second guessed yourself and that's why you ended up doing the ride of shame." Arabella blew out a long breath.

"I don't know, I was going with the plan, safe tricks that I could do in my sleep, but for some reason I got in my head that I needed to throw something harder." Another shrug.

"What did you want to throw."

"A backside triple cork 1260." Arabella felt the air leave her friends lungs, as her head snapped towards her and her eyes widened. The air around them seemed to go quiet, even the people talking seemed to stop as if they too had heard it.

"But that's..."

"The trick that landed me in a coma, I know." Neither of them spoke for a long time, Kaite just stared at her friend. The entire time everything around them felt muddled, silenced. Like the world had been struck with a mute button. Arabella took a breath after what felt like a year. "I won't do it."

"Good."

"But I want too."

"Bells..."

"It's who I am."

"Not anymore." Arabella turned to her friend, her eyebrows up near the hem of her tuque. "You almost died."

"I'm aware."

"I don't think you understand, you're my best friend, and you almost died at the sport we both grew up loving. At the sport we both went to the Olympics for." She shook her head. "I love and respect the shit out of you, but you're not ready to be throwing tricks like that. No one has been able to land one in competition. No one has tried since your accident."

"13, 14, 15." Someone called and Katie and Arabell stood grabbing their boards and their helmets. They made their way up to the start, which was windy and cold and all around miserable. Just before Arabella got called to the start, Katie grabbed her arm.

"Promise me you won't."

"Today or ever?" Katie bit her lip, and Arabella could see the confusion in her eyes. The conflict. "Today, I won't, I can promise you that. But I can also promise that one day I will land it. It's who I am." Katie nodded, although she didn't look overly pleased she still smiled. "Besides, I have a bet to win." She gave her a wink and then turned to the start, letting the volunteer help her up the little hump.

When she glanced back at Katie, she was blinking her face confused. With a shrug, she turned back to the run and smiled. A familiar feeling washing over her.

"Ready." 

He had flown for over twenty-four hours, been through enough time zones that he wasn't sure if he was tired from the flight or tired because it was currently the middle of the night in Qatar. Either way he was standing near the back of the stands, ignoring the few people who had recognized him. Instead, he kept moving. Bouncing between section, to section. There was no VIP, or there wasn't a VIP he could go.

It's where her friends were currently standing, the friends that would recognize him immediately. The ones who would tell her that he was there, the same people who would tell her that he was there. And he didn't want that. She had told him to try and move on, told him that she needed space.

Showing up at her competition? Not giving her very much space.

But she didn't know that he was there, and he didn't want to announce it. Unless, of course, she had changed her mind. Lando shook his head at that, she needed this. Needed space to figure out who she was without him.

He hated the thought that it also meant that she was moving on too. A part of him was okay with it, with her moving on. It meant that she was alive. Except then there was the voice in his head that told him it meant that she was going to be with someone else, kiss someone else, sleep beside someone else, have sex with someone else.

Lando shoved his eyes closed, forcing his brain to focus on the jump, on the competition. He had watched her land her first trick, and it felt like an hour before her second. The entire time he sipped on a beer that was now only cold because of the weather he had held it for so long. A beer he really didn't want, that his nutritionist would be furious at him for having, but one that was helping to calm his nerves.

Or at least that's what he kept telling himself while he continued to sip it.

By the time her third jump came, he was practically vibrating with anticipation. Equal parts excitement and nerves. He snorted at the idea that he had flown across the world to calm himself down from the nightmare that had been Qatar, only to heighten his blood pressure even more.

He was on his feet when she landed her jump, one that was far higher than her last in difficulty, at least that's what the announcer said. And he believed them. It wasn't the cleanest landing, but she had remained upright and after a second she threw her hands in the air in triumph.

Suddenly he was cheering as loud as he could. Once she leaned down to undo her bindings, he felt himself moving forward. He couldn't control it, he was starting to walk down the steps, towards the concourse and then down to the VIP section. The same section that he had bought a ticket for, just hadn't used.

He was down the second set of stairs just as they pulled her aside for her interview. They were asking her about the jump, about how it felt, and when the score came on the board her friends jumped the fence and ran to see her, grabbing her and tossing her in the air.

She was laughing, and he felt himself moving faster, like his body needed to hear it. Needed to be apart of it. Vlad wrapped his arms around her, and Lando's steps faltered slightly.

Vlad was her roommate. The roommate she had promised was nothing more than a friend, one of her closest friends. The roommate that Lando had grown to respect and even call his own friend.

But she had told him to move on.

The roommate she was currently clinging too like he was her lifeline.

"Tell me, how did you pull that off?" The interviewer asked her, and she smiled, her arm wrapped around her roommate. She looked up at Vlad, smiled and then turned back to the microphone.

The roommate that was currently leaning down to brush his lips against her cheek, while the rest of them just patted her on the back.

"Has to be this one, for curing my headache last night." She said, giving Vlad a little shove with her hip. Her words froze Lando in place, just as his eyes connected with Vlad's, whose face had gone white as the snow falling around him.

"You know the best cure for a headache right?" Vlad said, with a laugh as Lando grabbed some Advil out of the cupboard in the kitchen. Lando chuckled, shaking his head as Vlad proceeded to demonstrate with his hands. "Trust me, tried and true." Vlad gave him a wink as he left.

The roommate who didn't look like a just a roommate anymore.

"You know the best cure for a headache don't you?" Arabella's sultry voice slide over him as she dropped the robe to the floor, revealing the matching underwear set that was papaya orange.

"Enough." Lando whispered, his voice so broken that he hardly recognized it himself.

Walking away, he didn't glance back once.

When Katie got to the bottom, she yanked her boots free of her board and walked straight towards where her friends were standing. Someone called for her, probably the interviewer or whichever volunteer was in charge of making sure she stood in front of the camera to wait for her score. Not that it mattered, she had made it into the final and her last run was practically a scratch. A smooth glide over the edge of the jump, nothing special not even a grab.

Her head wasn't in it anymore, her brain was too muffled. No one knew about the bet, no one, and despite it being hardly any evidence that Arabella was getting her memories back, she couldn't help it. She felt it spring into her heart, that dreaded hope that had been crushed so many times. She didn't care that her friend didn't remember the memories of them, but it broke her heart to watch her go back to Max and then to walk away from both of them?

"What happened?" Seb asked, and Katie just shrugged, looking from face to face. Vlad was deathly pale for some reason and her eyes narrowed.

"I already made it into the final, didn't think I needed to risk my knee."

"Is it bugging you?" Vlad asked, his eyes snapping to her rather than staring off into space, or rather into the crowd.

"It's fine." She lied, reaching out she grabbed Vlad's coat. "Can I talk to you?" Vald nodded, glancing once more towards where he had been staring into the crowd before he followed her off towards the snow mobiles. She didn't have long before the next competitor came down, or before the volunteer who had picked up her board got over the fact that she was holding one of the competitors boards and bring it over to her.

"Did you tell her?" She demanded and Vlad blinked, confused.

"Tell who, what?"

"Arabella. Did you tell her about the bet?" Vlad didn't say anything, his eyes searching hers for answers, or for a clue as to what she was talking about.

"No." Vlad said, and Katie pulled back. His tone and the guilt in his eyes were enough. He had never been very good at showing his emotions, but since they had gotten together he had gotten better at showing some to her. Some that he had been hiding, from her.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Katie fought the urge to shove him.

"That she's getting her memories back."

"Because she doesn't want anyone to know."

"Why not?" Vlad shrugged.

"I have no idea." He admitted, glancing over his shoulder towards the crowd again. She followed his gaze, but she couldn't figure out what he was looking for. "They started as a nightmare; she woke up last night..." She cut him off by smacking him the shoulder. "Ow."

"Tell me what happened with the headache." She hissed.

"Okay, that's not what it sounded like. We didn't, I didn't..."

"Oh, for fuck sakes Vlad, I know you didn't sleep with her." Vlad let out a sigh of relief which was doing nothing but confusing Katie more. "What is the matter with you?"

"Nothing, she just said that in the interview, and I was worried..."

"Worried that I would think you're fucking my best friend? Please, when would you have the time." A thought dawned on her and she cocked her head to the side. "You're not worried about me, you're worried about Lando."

"No."

"God, you used to bed the best liar." At that Vlad rolled his eyes, a little bit of his old self coming through. The corner of her mouth twitched, only because she loved that about him. Well actually, she loved him, but she hadn't told him that yet. "Tell. Me. Everything."

He explained it to her, or at least gave her the quick version. She only smacked him a few more times, but her mouth dropped over when he mentioned the headaches from the night before and the late-night trip to the emergency room.

"Yeah, you're a sound sleeper, let me tell you." She gave him another smack on the shoulder, and this time he laughed. Grabbing her mitted hand in both of his. "She didn't want anyone to know, I would have told you, but I..." Katie waved him off. Truth was she was hurt, devastated, but she knew Arabella. Knew that if she wasn't telling anyone it was for a good reason. "I just don't know why she doesn't want anyone to know."

Katie looked towards the competitor's box, her eyes catching on Arabella as she was walking back towards them. A smile broke across her face, and she waved. It was the same sort of smile she gave whenever she saw her friends. Almost like she was relieved they hadn't left.

"She's terrified." Katie said, it dawning on her. Vlad raised his eyebrows at her.

"I know that." He said in a matter-of-fact voice, as if it was a competition between the two of them. "I..." He narrowed his eyes.

"Everyone leaves." Katie said, giving Vlad a warm and loving smile. The kind that used to make him give her the weirdest look, now he just looked at her in wonder and most of the time confusion. "Everyone she's ever loved has left her in one way or another."

"Not us."

"Exactly." She said getting up on her tiptoes she brushed her lips against his. The confusion never going away. "But she knew that before." 

Chapter Text

February 2024 – Chur Slope Style Competition, Switzerland

“You’re going to go for it aren’t you?” Dimitri asked as Arabella made it to the top of the run. She smiled, a smile that Dimitri knew only meant one thing; she was going for it. “You’re crazy.”

“You love my crazy.” She responded, giving him a light shove on the shoulder. He laughed, rubbing his shoulder and shaking his head.

“You’d be the first woman to land one in competition.”

“What can I say, there’s someone in the audience I want to show off for.” She gave him a wink, glancing down the run as if she could see Lando at the bottom of the run.

“He’d love you if you were a plumber.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” She made a face and Dimitri laughed. “Seriously though, with the extra snow, the conditions, do you think I can do it?” Dimitri thought about it for a moment, stepping up to the start to look down as if he could see the snow on the landing. See how much the extra snow had affected the jump in the past twenty-four hours.

“With the volunteers sliding the landing, it’s bound to get rough, but I also know they’ll be packing stuff down in between if it gets too rough.”

“That’s not an answer.” Dimitri looked back at her, the corner of his lips twitching. “Is today the day?”

“I think it is.” He moved back towards her, grabbing her hands in his. “Todays the day we make history kiddo.” She laughed, giving him a shove.

“Will you stop calling me that, you’re not that much older than me.”

“Alright, alright, fine, just do me proud okay? We have a bet to win.” Arabella’s smiled grew.

“Yes we do.” She held her fist out and Dimitri gave her a first pump.

Seb, Vlad, Benny and Jesse all watched from the bottom of the run. Lando was with them, and honestly there was no where else in the word he’d rather be. Well, maybe one place, but now that the snow had stopped falling so heavily and the volunteers were able to get ahead of it, the competition was ready to go forward.

Her first two jumps had been solid, clean, giving her almost perfect scores. The only thing that could bring them up was if she upped her difficulty. There had been rumors that she had a new trick in her arsenal, and more than one person had seen her land it in training. If she was successful, and he wasn’t even a hundred percent sure that she was going to throw it, she would be the first woman in history to land it in competition.

As of that morning she still wasn’t sure. She had curled up next to her, asking him what he thought she should do. If she should go big or if she should just go home. He, of course, had answered by sliding himself between her and showing her just how amazing home felt. It may have been selfish, but he was hoping she didn’t try it.

Praying she didn’t.

He had watched her do it on a trampoline, and then into a massive air pillow in training, he had even watched her land it in training. But for some reason today it didn’t feel like the day. It felt off. Too cold, or too warm. The conditions not perfect.

Except that wasn’t what he told her just before she had gone up for her third run. She had wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, tasting of sweat and snow. “Today’s the day isn’t it?” He wanted to say no, a part of his brain begged him too, but her smile was too big, her eyes too hopeful. And then there was the sliver in the back of her gaze, the one that needed the last little piece of encouragement, and she needed it form him.

“Today’s the day, Bells.” He breathed, giving her his best smile in return. She squealed kissing him again and giving him one last squeeze before she headed off towards the snow mobiles and the other competitors waiting to be brought back up to the top.

“Today’s the day.” He repeated turning to the boys who he was standing with. “Right?”

“Today’s the day.” Benny answered, giving a sharp nod of his head, Jesse joined him. “She can do it; she’s practically perfected it in training.”

“Practically.” Vald said shaking his head, and Lando turned to him. “She’s only successfully landed it twice.”

“Vlad.” Seb hissed, giving him a sharp elbow. Vlad glanced at Seb, narrowing his eyes before he turned back to Lando.

“She’ll trust her gut, if it doesn’t feel right when she gets up there, she won’t throw it.” He said with a shrug. “Or she’ll be the first woman in the world to almost land it.”

Those were his words of encouragement.

Lando was going to be sick. 

The reality was, they hadn’t been the same since their father died. A part of him had never forgiven her for refusing to come visit their father in his final days. He could see that it ate at her during the funeral, and in the days that followed. He wanted to reach out, wanted to help. Greive together. But then Arabella did something that he didn’t expect.

She left.

Practically in the middle of the night. One minute she was there, making coffee in their family kitchen every morning, and then she was gone.

He knew she was healing in her own way, and that this is what she needed to do. However, she left, and he was alone in their childhood home with nothing but memories haunting him at every corner. She came back to help deal with a few things, the will, the division of assets, but then she moved in with Lando and more and more of her things disappeared from the house.

Until all that was left was some juvenile snowboards, photographs and holiday decorations.

And him.

So, instead Levi watched Arabella’s competitions on the television at the local bar down the street. The one that his father frequented enough that the bartender knew him and during his sister’s competitions gave him a pint on the house. Which was also accompanied with a somber and knowing smile. Like he knew what was going on in Levi’s head.

Like he knew the reason Levi was there was because he couldn’t stand to watch the competition on the couch in the house. The one where his entire family used the gather on movie nights, or to watch Arabella’s competitions. It was graining videos from someone’s phone with their mother, then live television with his father.

Now it was just him, and he couldn’t stand that.

So, he went to the local bar and took the free beer and the sympathetic looks from the people around him and watched his sister compete. 

Katie was at the top of the run, sneaking up a little earlier than she should when Arabella dropped the bomb that she was planning on throwing her backside triple cork 1260. She had done it no nonchalantly that Katie hadn’t had the chance to say anything, hadn’t had the chance to ask her if she was sure. To comment on how soft the snow was getting on the approach, especially on the right side. How it would slow her down just as she was about to launch off the end of the jump.

That she wouldn’t have the speed to complete all of her rotations in time.

All Katie had the ability to do was watch as her friend tried, and then listen to the gasp of the crowd when she crashed at the bottom. 

Lando may not have watched Arabella enough to know when she wasn’t going to be able to complete a rotation, but her friends had. So, when Vlad hissed, and Benny turned to shield his eyes, he knew. Lando knew what was coming next.

Her body was still rotating when the ground came up to meet her. Her hand barely free of the grab to help her any. Help her shield her head before it smacked onto the snow. The crowd around them gasped, and then silence fell. The only sound being the crunch of Arabella’s limp body sliding along the snow.

“Fuck.” Someone breathed from behind them.

“Is she dead?” Another one said.

Lando was frozen in place. His mind pleading at him to go to her, to make sure she was okay, but his eyes saw what they saw. A limp figure, as the ski patrol and volunteers rushed over. He could hardly breath, or maybe that was his imagination. He was alive, wasn’t he? He was still standing watching. That means he wasn’t dead.

Or maybe it meant that this was all a horrific dream. A nightmare and he was stuck as a bystander.

Somehow, over the whispers that had started in the crowd, he heard her moan. Arabella moaned, and through the break of volunteers and ski patrol he saw her head move.

A sob broke free of his throat and then he was moving. Only it wasn’t towards her, it was towards the ground. His knees connected with the snow, and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“She’s okay, Lando, she’s awake and she’s okay.” He didn’t know who it was, and really he didn’t care. He didn’t care that people were seeing him break down, he didn’t care that his publicist would be forcing him somewhere quiet, and his assistant would be barking at people to look away. All he cared about was that she moaned.

She was awake.

She was alive.

“Come on,” someone said and this time their voice became clearer as hands pulled him to his feet again, “let’s go see her.” It was Vlad, his arms strong as she wrapped one around Lando’s shoulders leading him through the crowd and towards the first aid tent.

Arabella was already sitting up when he walked in, her face was red and puffy, one side obviously the one that she slid against the snow. There were chunks of snow and ice in her hair, and one of the sleeves of her jacket was ripped. But she was okay.

She was awake.

She was alive.

When her eyes met his, he felt himself crumble a little more. Felt his heart start beating again, and air coming back to his lungs. He suddenly felt every inch of space between them and in the span of a few strides, he closed the distance.

“I’m okay.” She breathed, wrapping her arms around him as he crushed her body to his. He felt her suck in a sharp breath, and he loosened his grip slightly. But didn’t let go. “Lando, I’m okay.” She moved in his arms, and he pulled back just as her hands found his cheeks. “You’re crying.”

He didn’t care.

“I was scared.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily.” She said, a smile spreading across her face as tears slipped from her own eyes. With his thumb he brushed them away.

“Don’t even joke.” He said, his voice cracking and she pressed her lips together. Stopping herself from sobbing. “I love you too much for that.”

Without another word he brought his lips to hers and kissed her tenderly. Like she was fragile and would break at any second. Like if he kissed her to hard, she would be taken from her. Forever. 

They checked her out and made her wait in the first aid tent under observation before she was cleared to leave. The ski patrol made her promise to go see a doctor if she got a list of symptoms, they had even written them down for her. Not that Arabella got to see the list, it went straight into Lando’s hands.

He walked her back towards the competitor’s area and helped her gather her things. The boy’s final was underway which was why no one paid much attention to her.

“What times your flight?” Arabella asked, as Lando pulled a hoodie from her bag. He paused, glanced at his watch and then shrugged.

“Two hours.”

“You have to go.”

“No, I don’t.” He said holding open the neck hole for her.

“Lando.”

“Arabella.” He challenged, helping her arm through each hole.

“I’m fine, I will be fine.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean I’m leaving.”

“It’s the car launch, you have to go.”

“No, I don’t.” She frowned, her hands making their way to their hips. “You can’t seriously expect me to leave after that.”

“Lando, it’s a concussion. I’ve seen you get way worse.”

“That’s not the point.” He said, dismissing her as he took her jacket and started shoving it into her bag. Arabella took a deep breath, forcing her blood pressure to come down. The last thing she needed was a headache, and for Lando to freak out some more.

“It’s three days, then you can play all the doctor you want.”

“What if you’re healed by then?” The corner of her mouth twitched, and Lando paused, realizing his mistake. “No, I’m not leaving.”

“Look, we both have dangerous jobs and we both have obligations we can’t miss.” Lando wasn’t looking at her, instead he was rummaging through her board bag, the one she had packed not fifteen minutes before.

“I can miss it.” As if on cue, his phone started buzzing on the table and a phone of Zac Brown showed up. They both looked at it, and then Arabella shifted her gaze to him.

“He’ll understand.” He reached over and dismissed the call.

“Lando.”

“I can’t leave, okay?!” He said, turning towards her, his voice rising. “I watched your body go limp, okay? There were minutes there, minutes, that I thought you were dead. That I though the love of my life had been taken from me.” She stepped towards him wrapping her arms around his neck, her fingers sliding through his curls. Somewhere between the first aid room and packing her bags, his hat and sunglasses, also known as his disguise, went missing. Arabella assumed it was in one of the bags.

“I’m fine.” She assured him. His arms were practically crushing her against him, so much that it hurt to breath. Hurt, but felt so incredibly loving and desperate that she let it happen. Breathing as much as she could and soaking him in. God, she was so in love with him.

“I was so scared.” He breathed after a moment.

“I know.” Arabella said leaning back, pressing a hand to the side of his face. “But you have to go.” He shook his head, opening his mouth to say something but she put a finger over his lips. “I will be on the phone with you the entire time. Katie’s rooming with me so you can check in with her through the night. Double check everything, and if that’s not enough, Vlad and Seb are in the room next door.” Lando frowned, which made her smile. She knew him too well.

Reaching up, he removed her finger from his lips.

“I don’t want to go.”

“I know.” His phone started buzzing again and he groaned.

“Every minute?” He asked, his eyes wide.

“Every second.” She pressed her lips to his. “It’s not a fair bet if Zac replaces you before the season.” Lando chucked, resting his forehead against hers.

“I love you.”

“I know.” He crushed her to him again. “I love you too.” 

He cursed a few rings in and hung up, dialing Vlad’s number, the one that she had given him in case of emergencies.

Which this was.

On the phone Vlad assured him that she was getting checked out, and then subsequently cleared to go home. She had a concussion and was to take it easy for the next few days, but other than that she was okay.

She was okay.

Levi had stood in the entryway of his family home for a total of thirty seconds, telling himself she was okay before he grabbed his keys and was out the door again. He may have been the type of brother to lie about being available for competitions, lunches and even coffee, but he wasn’t the type of brother who didn’t rush to her side when she was hurt.

Sending a text to his boss he called in sick for work the following day and started to drive.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he looked around for Seb had also passed out with the tv remote still in his hand and an old friends’ episode on the tv.

“Who the fuck.” Seb said, sitting up. The banging continued, but neither of them moved. Seb glancing at Vlad as if he was going to get up.

“I’m naked.” Vlad said and Seb groaned, moving to get out of bed.

“Of course.” The banging didn’t stop until Seb was yanking the door open. “What the f…” His words started off annoyed but were cut off. “What happened?” Vlad sat up at the seriousness in his tone, the panic. Throwing himself out of bed he grabbed the first pair of shorts he found.

Katie was hysterical. Her face was puffy and red, tears streaming down her face, snot mixing it as she sobbed her words completely incoherent.

“What happened?” Vlad demanded, and Katie’s eyes shifted to him, and she sagged.

“I… shower….” She swallowed trying to force words out. Vlad stepped by Seb and wrapped her up in his arms. Ignoring the fact that he was pretty sure he was wearing Seb’s underwear and cradled her head into his chest.

“It’s okay, just take a breath and tell us what happened.” There was a commotion in the hall, voices, so Vlad tried to bring Katie into the room, but as soon as he made the move to try she shoved away.

“Bella… she…”

“Fuck.” Seb was out the door and down the hall before the words registered in Vlad’s brain.

“What?” He asked her again, trying his best to keep his voice soft. “What’s going on.”

“She…” a hiccup, “passed out…” a sob, “I called 911…” Stepping past her he looked down the hall towards the commotion. Towards where paramedics were pulling a stretcher out of the room.

A stretcher with Arabella on it.

A no longer conscious Arabella. 

The first thing Benny thought when he opened his and Jese’s hotel room was why was Vlad standing in front of him wearing a pair of pink and green stripped boxers. Which he almost said, until he saw the look on his face.

“Get dressed.”

“Say’s the man in boxers.” Jesse said coming up behind him, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Aren’t those Seb’s?” Benny looked at Jesse his brows furrowed.

“How do you know what Seb’s boxers look like?” Jesse just shrugged.

“It’s Bella, we gotta go.” Were the next words out of Vlad’s mouth, and he didn’t offer up any more explanation before he turned and left.

Five seconds later they were walked down the hallway towards where the rest of their rooms were. Katie was sitting on the floor in the hallway, her face streaked with tears and puffy. Seb was beside her rubbing her shoulders, although he took had tears in his eyes, and Vlad was standing in front of them, thankfully wearing clothes now.

“What’s going on?” Jesse asked first, looking between Vlad, Katie and Seb, his eyes lingering on his face for a few seconds longer.

“Arabella passed out.” Seb said, his voice wavering. “They just took her in an ambulance, we’re going to head there now.”

“Did someone tell Dimitri?” Vlad cut Benny a look.

“We’ll call him from the car, let’s go.” He snapped, before he reached down offering his hand to Katie. She took it, letting him wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her in close. The rest of them following behind.

Jesse held a handout for Seb, who took it with a small smile.

“This is bad isn’t it?” Benny asked, before his feet could move. Vlad and Katie were too far ahead to hear, but Seb and Jesse did. They both turned. Jesse looking at Seb, who gave Benny a somber smile.

“It’s not good.” 

Levi was many things, but a brother who didn’t come to his sister’s rescue, wasn’t one of them. Maybe rescue was the wrong word, Arabella had shown long ago that she could handle herself. Burying both your parents would do that to a person. Force them to want to handle everything on their own.

But that doesn’t mean that his sister always should.

Which was his reasoning for abandoning his pity pint at the bar and walking the two blocks home, only to grab his car keys and head right back out the door.

He paused briefly at an intersection. The one that would take him towards the highway and then further towards Switzerland. It was a long drive, and it was already getting late. One phone call to Arabella told him that she was being checked out and that she was okay, just a concussion and orders to take it easy. Not to mention she would be surrounded by people who cared about her, people who would make sure she didn’t go through it alone.

Be there if she needed them.

The thought froze his foot on the break pedal. The light ahead of him turning green, and for a second he didn’t move.

She really didn’t need him there.

“She’s all I have left.” He breathed, and then took his foot off the break and accelerated.

A few hours into his drive, right around the time the first waves of fatigue started to hit, his phone rang. He had just been contemplating pulling over, but a phone conversation might be enough to wake him up. Unfortunately, he hoped it would.

“Hey, I was wondering how you were doing.” Levi said, a smile spreading across his face. “I thought about calling, but I didn’t want to wake you.” Silence met him for a moment.

“It’s not Bella, it’s Vlad.” He dismissed the mix up on the fatigue, maybe he should pull over. He had talked to Vlad on the phone not to long ago, as soon as he figured out that there were some logistics to him coming to see her. He didn’t know how long they were staying, or where, and he wanted some reassurance that he should go.

Vlad had told him they were staying another few days, that Katie was with Arabella now, but they were planning a movie night so if one of them passed out, or most of them, someone would always be around if Arabella needed them.

Vlad had promised Levi he would take care of her, watch over her until Levi could get there.

“Hey man, I appreciate you taking care of her. Not just tonight, but any time that I couldn’t be there.” Silence. Levi’s brows furrowed. And then Vlad sucked in a breath. “What’s going on?” Dread pooled in Levi’s stomach, his heart sliding its way up his throat. “Where’s my sister?”

“She passed out, Katie freaked and called 911.”

“Is she okay?” Silence, and Levi veered off the road, slamming on his breaks. “Vlad, is my sister…” He couldn’t even form the word. Couldn’t even think it. She was alive, she had to be.

“She’s alive.” Vlad said quickly. “Look, Levi there’s nothing you can do here, and I didn’t call to freak you out. I just didn’t want you to stop on your way for the night, they’re talking about surgery and I just…” Levi felt something shatter somewhere. “She’s going to need her brother.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Call me when the doctor is there. I’m also going to text you the information of her doctor back home, he’ll have all the history and everything… I…”

“Levi, we’ve got her.” Vlad sucked in another breath. “We’re not leaving here, and we told her you were coming.”

Letting out a shaking breath, Levi hung up the phone. He allowed himself one breath, one moment of pure panic.

"She's all I have left." He breathed, and then his moment was over, and he got back on the highway. 

She wanted to nod, she hoped she nodded, when Vlad told her. Or maybe he was talking to Seb, she didn’t know. Nor did she really care. All she knew was that her best friend was in the hospital, and they had drilled holes into her head. Or at least that’s what she though she overheard someone saying from the trauma room.

She had watched enough Grey’s Anatomy to know was Burr Holes meant.

“Can I get you anything?” Vlad asked, crouching in front of here so he was eye level with her. “Are you cold? Hungry? Need some coffee?” She looked up.

“It’s my fault.” She breathed and his brows furrowed. The way he was looking at her, it was like he was confused and wanted to call her a blubbering idiot, but in a much more loving way. “I shouldn’t have left her alone.”

“It would have happened if you were in the shower or not.” His voice was soft, and he reached out and took her hand in his.

“You weren’t there.” Her voice grew shaky, and she had to pause and swallow before she continued. “On the phone, they asked me how long she had been like that, and I couldn’t tell them. The paramedics asked me, and I couldn’t tell them. Because I didn’t know.”

“Katie…”

“They needed to know, and I don’t know because I wasn’t there.” Tears broke free, streaming down her face and she sobbed. Without saying a word Vlad wrapped her up in his arms, letting her cry into the corner of his shirt.

“I know you Katie.” He pressed his lips to her hair. “I know you take the worlds shortest showers.” She snorted; a wet sound that made him smile. Just a little. He leaned back and brushed the hair from her face, then a few tears with his thumb. “It would have mattered if it was hours, but it wasn’t, was it?” She shook her head. “Now come on, let’s go find you a tissue, or a box of em.” She gave him a shove, but she was smiling and that was a victory. “Then let’s get some coffee.” Katie nodded, her shoulders feeling just a hair lighter.

She could see the same on all their shoulders, all slumped with guilt. They had planed a movie night; they had planned to all be together. But their exhaustion took over, each of them thinking that someone else made it to Katie & Arabella’s room. The room that Lando had booked, and then extended so Arabella wouldn’t have to move.

The one that still had all the extra blankets and pillows piled up in front of the television.

“Did someone all Lando?” Katie asked, cursing herself for waiting so long to think of it. Vlad let out a long sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“He’s on a plane.”

“So?”

“He’s flying commercial, his phones airplane mode.” 

Chapter Text

December 2024 – Netherlands

Arabella hadn't been 100% sure where she was going when she got into her far. Seb questioned her when she just dumped her bags inside the door and grabber her keys, but she didn't have an answer for him. Katie stopped him from going after her, but not Vlad who slid into the passenger seat beside her without saying a word.

It didn't bother her that he was there, it was almost a comfort. He couldn't be too thrilled that she had decided to take a drive after getting off such a long flight, especially with everything happening with her head, and neither was she. So having him there as an insurance policy took all the nerves and left way for every other emotion that was bombarding her.

She pulled into the cemetery in Hoorn stupidly early in the morning. Everything was covered in a thin layer of early morning frost, and some of the gravestones still had little piles of snow collected around them. There was a light fog, coating the ground as the sun starting to poke out from the horizon.

"Hi mom." She said, after leaving Vlad sleeping in the car. "Hi dad." A familiar ache spread threw her chest as she leaned down to brush the snow off from the base of their stones. There were flowers there, looked a few days old and she smiled at the thought of her brother visiting them.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'd like to blame it on my accident, but the truth is I've been avoiding this place." She motioned around us, still crouched in front of them. "Hoorn. Home." She took a shaky breath. "I don't know what to do." Her voice was barely above a whisper, tears started to pool in her eyes. She closed her eyes, fighting back the sobs that threatened to overtake her. "And I just needed my mom." Her voice completely broke as she wrapped her arms around herself falling to her knees. The wet ground soaking her knees.

She cried for her lost memories, for her lost parents. The life that she had lost. The relationships, the people she had turned her back on without knowing. The people she loved who had continued to live while she remained frozen in time. She sobs as feelings of betrayal and hopelessness threatened to overtake her. Betrayal because no one told her, no one explained it to her. Hopelessness because how could they? Arabella had ben sick, and they were terrified to lose her again. Her heart broke, the type of break she didn't know how to deal with. The type of break she just needed her mom to help heal.

All the moments from the last few months were on repeat in her head, mixed with the memories that had started to come back. The worst was the emotions, the feelings. The love she felt for someone who she had treated so horribly after she woke up. It shattered her thinking back to all the emotions in his eyes that she didn't know how to place, but now, now she knew.

She had broken Lando's heart. Shattered it. Hurt him so much more than she ever thought she was capable of.

So, Arabella cried until the sun rose in the sky, and there was nothing left inside her. Until every emotion she had hid from her friends, from herself, were out. Dripping onto the grass at the graves of her mother and father. The knees of her leggings were soaked through, and her legs starting to go numb from kneeling so long. Tears had started to freeze to her face, and her breath danced in front of her.

She'd been vaguely aware of the car door opening and closing a little while ago, and someone walking towards her now. "I miss them too." She nearly jumped, not expecting that voice to be who had walked up. She was so emotionally and physically exhausted it took a lot of effort to turn and glance over her shoulder. "They're great listeners." Her brother said, holding two takeout cups from the café down the street in his mitt covered hands. He also had a blanket over his shoulder.

"She always was." She admitted, as he held a cup out to her. "How'd you know I was here?" She took it, and with his newly free hand he placed the blanket around her shoulders.

"Vlad." Arabella nodded, looking past her brother to her car where Vlad was leaning against the hood a matching cup in his hands. He gave her a small wave, but all she could manage was a nod in return.

"Shit head." She breathed and Levi snorted, lowering himself into a crouch beside her. "Did he tell you anything else?" Levi sucked in a breath before shifting his head from side to side.

"He told me I should ask you about your dreams." He admitted, and Arabella couldn't find it in herself to be pissed that Vlad told him.

"They're not dreams." She admitted, turning back to her mother gravestone. "They're memories." Her brother's head dropping between his shoulders as he rubbed a mitt over his face. "It came with some headaches, but I got them checked out and it's all fine. I'm fine."

"You're remembering." She nodded. "That's amazing."

"Is it?" She snorted, wiping a hand under her nose. "I just started to get my feet back underneath myself, and now this..." Her voice cracked and she picked at the lid of her cup. "I don't know what to do."

"What is there to do? The difference between who you are now, and who you were a few days ago is now you remember the months before the accident. That's it. It doesn't change who you are." She snorted again.

"The difference is I know the damage I did."

"Damage?" She could feel her brothers gaze shift.

"I have his heart in my hands and I shattered it."

"You're talking about Lando." A sob cracked through her, and she pressed the back of her hand over her mouth to stop more.

"Not just him." She admitted, but they both knew that it was mostly him. "But what I did... I..." She bit her lip as Levi's hand slid around her shoulders.

"You didn't know any better, he'll understand."

"I did." She whispered, shaking her head and taking a deep breath. "Something in my gut was telling, but I ignored it. I think a part of me knew that I loved him, and the biggest loss wasn't the memories but the life I shared with him. Going back to the apartment. I knew." A sob broke free.

"You were scared, that's understandable." His voice was soft, understandings. It only made her heart ache more thinking about how she'd left him behind too.

"It wasn't just after the accident." She went on, closing her eyes. "I remember when I fell in love with him, I remember the exact moment. It was right after I won the championship again. I flew to see Max in Miami." Levi's eyes widened slightly but he didn't say anything. "I denied it, even thought I knew it was opportunity to feel loved. To have what mom and dad had, I ran away from it. I couldn't do it, I couldn't open myself up to that, not when... when..." She trailed off and Levi placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You're not the one who remembers what it was like."

"What, what was like?"

"Watching dad realize he lost the love of his life over and over whenever he was lucid." Arabella turned to look at her brother, the soft smile across his face.

"I saw it, the look in his eyes." She whispered. "It was so similar to when dad was lucid and realized that she was gone, over and over again." Levi sucked in a breath. "He was standing in my apartment practically begging me to give him a chance and I just..."

"Couldn't." He finished for her, and she nodded, lowering her gaze to the untouched coffee in her hands. The tears frozen on her cheeks. "You're also not the only one who's scared to fall in love because of it." Arabella turned to her brother. "It took a lot, to let Allie in, but she was there for me and there was no way I could have gotten through your..." he swallowed, "your accident without her."

"I'm glad you had her." She said and she meant it. "I'm sorry I put you through that." He took a deep breath.

"I remember the first-time mom caught you trying to do a backflip off the trampoline in the backyard. She freaked out and was about to march out and yell, but dad got in her way and stopped her." The corner of his lips twitched upwards the memory obviously replaying in his mind. "He told her that 'if we want her to succeed we're going to have to watch her fall a few times,' and he'd repeat it to her at every one of your competitions." His eyes met his sisters. "After she was gone, he kept saying it. Sometimes to me, sometimes to himself, it was his ritual for your competitions. Now I say it."

"I didn't know that." She admitted.

"It's true you know. It's part of the gig. Loving you, supporting you, we have to be able to watch you fall if we want you to succeed." Arabella turned away her gaze finding the space between the graves and her coffee cup. Levi continued to stare at the side of her face. "Lando understood that."

"Don't..."

"You know he asks me about you." He said, and it made Arabella's neck snap in his direction, her brows furrowed. "Texts me." He clarified, pulling his phone out of his pocket and passing it over.

"What?" She asked, her hand shaking as she took the phone from him.

"It started when I told him I was transferring you back here, and that you wouldn't want him waiting around for you to wake up." Something shattered where her heart had been.

"He sent stuff to the house?" She asked, and Levi nodded.

"Food mostly, he kept saying it was for me, but he also snuck in some of your favorites. It's why the pantry at the house is stalked with those cheese sticks you were addicted too." The corner of her mouth twitched. "I even started drinking that almond creamer you love."

"He called you." She said, noticing the pause in texts and the three missed call notifications. Levi sucked in a breath.

"They wanted to try surgery, there was some residual bleeding or something." He waved it off. "I'm not sure how Lando found out about it, but he called me to ask if I was sure it was the right decision. I was hesitant, I didn't like the idea of them cutting into your brain again. But you weren't showing any signs of getting better and I, well I was desperate." He ran a hand through his blond hair. "We got into a massive argument. I didn't know how much you guys meant to each other, although I should have figured it out, but you and I drifted apart after dad died and I... I thought I was going to loose you..."

"You were doing your best."

"He never stopped sending stuff to the house, though." Arabella nodded, that sounded like the Lando she knew. She remembered. Turning her attention back to the phone she scrolled through some more messages. When she got to the ones after she'd woken up she felt something echo in her chest. 

He was so confident that she'd come back to him. It was all over the messages he sent to her brother. Taking a shaking breath, she wiped some fresh tears from her eyes, something she didn't know she was capable of.

"That was after my first competition, back." She said, not having to press play on the video to know that. It was a date she wouldn't easily forget. "Not even the competitive one, this is the one I had to sign up under a fake name." She shook her head. "He... he..."

"He never stopped watching." Levi finished for her.

The messages stopped, and Arabella noticed the date. Right around Cooper Mountain, when she had called Max because she was freaking out. She didn't know if it had anything to do with it, probably just a coincidence.

"I know you think you've done enough damage, but..."

"What if he leaves?" She whispered cutting her brother off mid sentence.

"What if he doesn't?" He challenged.

"He's moved on." She said, and he leveled her with a look that told her he had also read the tabloids and didn't believe them.

"Well, I don't know if this will help change your mind." Levi said, taking his phone back and pulling up something else before he turned it back to her. "We've been invited to Abu Dhabi."

"What?" Arabella sputtered.

"Red Buls donating a bunch of money in your name to rehabilitation programs for Red Bull athletes, including up and comers. Max Verstappen was one of the big contributors, although I'm convinced it was Lando's idea before he changed teams." He shrugged. "I think it's his way of saying sorry."

"I do owe Max an apology." She admitted. "Really I owe both of them one..."

'Perfect."

"I can't go and drop this bomb on them, it's the last race of the season. They're neck and neck for the championship." She shook her head, and the corner of Levi's lips twitched upwards.

"You're accepting and invitation, when and where you drop that bomb on them is up to you. Do it after the race." She was obviously thinking about it. "Levi stood up, stretching his knees out before fixing his pant legs. "Besides we both now what they'd tell you to do." He motioned to the two gravestones in front of them.  

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

Katie had already packed by the time Arabella, Levi and Vlad got back from Hoorn. Turns out to make it work they'd have to fly directly there after their competition in Beijing, which none of them minded since it would be their last competition before the holiday break. There would be some makeup training, which is why it surprised her that all of her roommates wanted to come to the race too.

Red Bull had gone all out with the invitation, and they were willing to add the extra people even though they offered to cover the cost themselves. They upgraded Arabella and Levi's room to a family suite which would sleep them all. A few of the guys had to share a bunkbed which they weren't happy with, but Katie and Vlad thought it was hilarious.

When they arrived at the Grand Prix, Arabella hadn't realized how much she had missed the buzz of the track until that moment. The smell of burnt rubber filled her nose, mixed with fuel exhaust, a smell that she never thought she'd miss, was something that brought a smile to her face. Brought back feelings and phantoms of memories sliding dancing through her vision.

In their hotel room had been their passes, a schedule and some Red Bull swag for the weekend. There were smaller events that they were invited too as well as the main gala the night before the final race. They were also invited the to Red Bull after party after the race was over. They weren't calling it a championship party, but everyone was hopeful.

Her first time at the track was just after free practice two started, even though she had passes for the whole day. It wasn't that she was nervous, she was completely terrified of running into either Max or Lando. Coming during free practice was her best shot at avoiding them. She had dinner with Helmut Marko at the Red Bull motorhome with a few other higher up representatives for the brain-injury rehabilitation program they had started in her name.

On her way out from dinner, she took her time through the paddock her nerves taking a back seat since most of the drivers were either still in the garage or in debrief or the media pen. The buzz and the excitement were electric, with the championship race being so close. There were reporters and photographers everywhere, looking for a scoop or a million-dollar photo.

Her steps slowed as she walked past the McLaren motorhome without even realizing it, her eyes scanning the windows as she went.

She caught sight of him almost instantly, almost like her eyes knew exactly where he was. Even through the glass windows along the front of the motorhome and the seat of reporters and photographers. Lando came up from the back, talking to someone in a McLaren photo while he was in a McLaren t-shirt. She was watching as he slid his cap on backwards. She could practically see the veins of his arms from where she stood, or else she was remembering them and filling in the blanks.

He looked amazing. Fantastic. She almost forgot how attractive he was. His tan skin, the angles of his face, his mess of curls she just knew was sweaty from being in the car all evening. He hadn't shaved in a few days, the stumble on his face dark.

Unapologetically she watched him, there was enough happening that no one noticed. She watched as someone walked up to him, a woman wearing a tan mini-skirt and a McLaren t-shirt with Lando's number on it. Arabella recognized her from the photos on the internet. It was Louisa, Lando's rumored girlfriend. She brushed her brunette hair over her shoulder and smiled at him, resting a hand on his arm. His smiled instantly brightened. The type of smile that made her heart flutter. He nodded and leaned in close whispering something in her ear. Louisa laughed, swatting at his arm. A strand of hair fell in front of her face, and Lando smiled as he reached out and tucked it back behind her ear.

Arabella hadn't realized she mirrored the movement with a strand of her own hair. The feeling of her fingertips brushing against her own cheek sent shivers down her spine. For a second she could almost feel the brush of his fingertips across her cheek. Instead, they were brushing against Louisa's. Instead, he was making her heart jump with that smile. She was touching him, holding him. There was a tightness in Arabella's chest and a rolling in her stomach.

Something inside her was breaking, even though she was pretty sure there was nothing left to break.

Turning she kept walking towards the exit, her head down and focusing on just getting out of the paddock and back to her hotel. She needed a drink, or just a shower, some air conditioning and her roommates. Her brother had offered to come with her, but she had told him it was okay. Now she was regretting saying no.

"Bella." She heard her name and froze, the voice filled with a mixture of emotions. Arabella turned, faced with Max stepping out of the Red Bull garage. He was still in his race suit and fireproofs. He looked exactly the same.

"Of course." She smiled. "You don't turn down an invitation to a gala for a foundation in your name." She shrugged like it was nothing and he chuckled. Cameras flashed around them, but he didn't seem to notice. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to se you too." He said, his eyes scanning her. "You look amazing."

"Max?" A woman said, coming up behind him with a clipboard stacked with papers in her hands. "I'm sorry but we have to go." She motioned towards the motorhome giving Arabella a small smile. The name Violet popped into her head suddenly and it fit the woman in front of her.

"Right, yeah, I'm coming." He said shaking his head. "Can I see you later?"

"Of course." She said, quickly. He took a hesitant step towards her and after a second she mirrored it. Wrapping an arm around him in a hug. "I'll see you soon." 

“I’m so glad you’re here.” He said into her hair, and she smiled, wrapping a second arm around him and holding him close.

“Me too.” More camera’s flashed, so Max turned them slightly, so her back was too them. He didn’t want it in the media, didn’t want to bring attention to her while she was here. She was here for the gala and to support Red Bull not to start some new rumors.

He did, however, hang on a little longer than he should have. 

It all came down to this weekend. This city. This race. This moment. Lando and Max, one race, and that would be it. There were a hundred scenarios the McLaren team ran through, and they were probably the same ones Red Bull was going through as well. Ultimately both teams came up with every possibly way that could result in either driver would win the championship. It was close, too close for anyone to call up until the checkered flag.

However, if Lando didn’t place any lower than second, the championship was his. That’s all he had to do. Place second.

That’s it.

And everything he ever wanted would be his.

The tension through the paddock, was so thick you could cut through it with a knife. Not to mention the humidity, even with the setting sun it was heavy making every thread of clothing stick to their skin. Lando was hot, drenched in sweat, and incredibly uncomfortable and all he had done was walk through the paddock. Cameramen, microphones and fans fallowed him as he went, calling out questions about the race. How he was feeling, if something Max was doing was affecting him.

He ignored all of them.

Max might be used to this sort of attention, but Lando still wasn’t. He was known as the easy-going laid-back driver who always had a smile on his face. Recently, he just wasn’t feeling like himself. He’d also been exhausted because of his last-minute trip to Canada, which wasn’t helping anything either.

Free practice had gone terribly. He wasn’t getting what he wanted out of the car, and he just felt a disconnect between himself and, well, everything. The car, the engineers. He even felt like his body just didn’t want to work the way his mind needed it too. It didn’t help that that’s all anyone wanted to talk about, was how horribly it was all going. Media was a circus, and Red Bull was capitalizing on every second of Lando’s failings.

“Don’t listen to what they’re saying, it’ll come.” One of the McLaren engineers told him after free practice two in the McLaren motorhome. Lando had been itching to get away from the track, to get back to his hotel and just figure out what was going on with his mind. He was one of the best drivers in the world, he could do this.

He would do this.

“I think I just need to get out of here.” He admitted, slipping his hand onto his head backwards. “Regroup back at the hotel, tomorrow will be better.” The engineer nodded.

“We put a reserve in the car, and we’ll send all the data to your tablet so you can check it out. I’ll also be available if you want to go over anything.” Lando nodded, his eyes shifted towards the windows, almost like he was looking for something.

When he spotted Louisa he almost sagged with relief. She smiled, walking up to him in a mini-skirt and a McLaren t-shirt with his number on it. “Hey.” She said, stepping up to the two of them and placing her hand on his arm.

“Hey.” He said. “You came.”

“Of course.”

“I didn’t think you would after…” Louisa’s smile didn’t falter, and the engineer excused himself. She gave a light shrug, her brown hair shifting.

He’d called her once he got back from Canada, explained everything. Admitted to what was in his heart, and his head. What his feelings were towards her, and why he wasn’t able to give her his heart because it belonged to someone else. She’s been hurt and had asked him if he’d ever be capable of caring for her that way and he answered her as truthfully as he could.

He told her he didn’t know.

She’d ended the call with telling him she needed some time, and then somehow had shown up here.

“I know.” She said and his smile grew. “I figured you needed the support this weekend more than anything else.”

“Thank you.” He said, leaning in he brought his lips close to her ear. “You’re my new favorite person. Ever.” She giggled, and a strand of hair fell into her eyes which he tucked back on instinct before he realized he probably shouldn’t.

“How about we get out of here? Get your head screwed on straight because I am not here to console second place, I expect an invite to the championship party. At McLaren.” Lando smiled, shaking his head as he followed her out of the motorhome.

The paddock was insane. Camera’s flashed, people called out, but he just kept the smile on his face and walked out with Louisa.

His steps faltered when he caught sights of Max hugging a blond girl, but he turned back forward quickly as the swarm around him got bigger as people caught on that he was leaving. It couldn’t be her. He glanced over his shoulder, but she was gone. Max was talking to another woman, who wasn’t blond and Lando was half convinced he’d imagined it.

As he reached the gate he glanced over his shoulder one more time, the feeling of someone watching coming back from before. It was a second, a single second he turned around, but his eyes met a pair of light blue eyes he’d know anywhere.

His chest constricted as her eyes widened.

“Lando?” Louisa said, grabbing his arm. He turned back to Louisa as he motioned towards the front gates, and he nodded. Grabbing his pass from his pocket so they could leave the separate gate into the private parking lot. He scanned then and glanced over his shoulder again but couldn’t find those eyes.

Couldn’t find her.

Almost like she’d never been there to begin with. 

Chapter Text

February 2024 – Chur Switzerland

Lando had felt fear a few times in his life, at least he thought he had. His job was dangerous, getting into a car every other weekend and pushing it to it’s limit at breakneck speeds. One thing he had gotten good at was ignoring that fear. Ignoring that pit in his stomach. He let it in for a moment when he thought about his mother, his sisters and anyone else who he’d leave behind if he crashed. There was a split second where he allowed that fear in, but then he shoved it back out.

It's when he didn’t recognize what it was at first.

The rich man in him hated that he had to fly commercial, he missed private. The food was better, the seats were more comfortable, and he had internet to be able to facetime his beautiful girlfriend. He’d been nervous to leave her alone, after what happened, but she was surrounded by people who cared so she’d be okay.

So, like he was used to doing he shoved those nerves down. Like he was good at.

Except as the plan started its descent, he didn’t know why he felt sick, and he didn’t know why. His foot tapped on the carpeted floor of his first-class pod while he waited for the plane to touch down. For them to make the announcement that phones could be turned back on. He calculated the time change in his head, trying to figure out whether he should call or text her, when he was finally able to.

Call her, he didn’t care what time it was. He nodded to himself, finally able to take his phone off airplane mode.

He had four missed calls, but none form her.

He had six texts but none of them were from her.

They were all from her roommates. Or at least he assumed since two were from numbers he didn’t recognize.

His gut fell into his shoes and in that moment he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was sick because his body was telling him something was wrong. Pressing on the first number that popped into his head, he pressed the phone to his ear, ignoring the sounds around him.

Like he could hear anything but the dial town.

“Hi, you’ve reached Bella, I’m probably on the slopes, I’ll hit you back as soon as…” he hung up before the message finished.

He pressed the next one.

“Hi! This is Katie, if you get this I’m just…”

Next one

“This is Levi Van Dijk, please leave your name and…”

“Fuck.” He ground out. Somehow the sound of the cabin door opening cut through the fog and he all but bolted from the plane, grabbing nothing but the bag he had at his feet. There was only one person in front of him, and he slid past, muttering an apology as he pressed on Arabella’s number again.

Three rings and someone picked up.

The only sound was someone sniffling. His feet froze to the floor.

“Bella?” He breathed.

“Lando…” It was a female voice, but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t her.

“What happened?” He demanded, his feet moving again. “Where’s Arabella?” A sob broke free of her throat. It hit Lando that it was probably Katie. “Kaite?” Another sniffle. “Just put her on the phone.” His voice broke, as he stopped moving again. Someone bumped into his shoulder, but he didn’t have the breath to care.

“She…” she took a shaking breath. “She passed out at the hotel, we don’t…” He barely heard the rest of what she said.

Lando’s entire world tilted.

“Is she okay?” He barely got the words out, and it was followed by to long of silence. His knees started to give out and he reached for the nearest structure for support. Images flooded his mind.

Her that morning, her blond hair smeared over his pillow. Her eyes closed but slowly starting to flutter open.

The sound of her giggle, when he found that sweet spot behind her knee.

Her leaning over him to wake him up another morning, her blond hair falling around them.

The soft moan she made as she woke up, but really didn’t want to.

Her smile when he ran to her after a race.

The sleepy smile he had fallen in love with waking up to every morning. It broadened when she caught him watching her.

Her looking for him at the bottom of the run, throwing herself at him in excitement.

The feel of her arms around him.

Her body sliding closer to his in the middle of the night.

The way her lips felt on his.

“We don’t know.” Katie cut through. “She’s in surgery.”

He couldn’t breath.

Couldn’t think.

How many times had he been lucky enough to wake up beside her. How many mornings did he imagine doing it for the rest of his life.

She was his life.

“Lando, you need to come back.” Her voice broke in a way that broke something in his chest.

This wasn’t anything like the fear he had experienced before. The fear he had grown used to shoving down and ignoring. This was paralyzing.

This was terror.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Anything?” Katie asked, sitting up in her chair as the door to the waiting room opened. Levi was distraught, his face tear stricken and his hair was a complete mess. He had gone between pacing, demanding information, crying and begging for information.

But there was never any to get.

“No.” He said, dropping into a chair just long enough to run a hand through his hair, before he stood up again and started to pace.

Arabella had been in surgery, brain surgery.

“Every second that they don’t come out here, means she’s still breathing.” Vlad said, giving Katie’s knee a light squeeze with the hand he had resting on it. She nodded, the lump in her throat growing to the point where anything more than one word was impossible.

“Did you get in touch with Lando?” Seb asked form across the room. Katie nodded, holding her phone up.

“He’s on his way back.” Vlad said, when no words came out of Katie’s mouth. Collectively the room nodded, with Lando on its way, there was nothing left of them to do. Everyone Arabella cared about was in this room, or on their way, and now all they had to do was wait.

Wait for news.

Just watch the minutes tick by to hours.

Lando had been numb since he’d gotten off the phone with Katie. Somehow he made it to the customer service desk and strung together enough sentences to convey that he needed to go to the Netherlands. Only for him to realize that she wasn’t in the Netherlands, she was in Switzerland. For the first time in his life, he was relieved that he got recognized wherever he went. The lady behind the desk recognized him and got him on the next flight back to Switzerland.

When he arrived at the hospital, he didn’t know what to expect. He’d typed out a few messages to Katie but deleted all of them. Hearing no news was good news in his mind. Even though it was a pathetic attempt to hide from what was happening.

To hide from the guilt, he was feeling.

What kind of a man leaves his girlfriend after she crashed the way she did?

What kind of a man leaves the woman he loves when she needed him?

That man was him. He had left her to go to a car launch.

The hospital was quiet, even for later in the morning. There weren’t a lot of people sitting in the waiting area, and the reception desk was empty when he walked up. Pulling his phone out he had his thumb hovering over the call button on Katie’s number before he opted for a text. A few seconds later, a message came in giving him directions.

Levi was sitting in the hallway outside of a door that said, ‘neurosurgery waiting room’. He looked a mess, his head in his hands, and his fingers gripping his hair like it could personally turn back time. He didn’t look up at Lando walked up, not until he stopped in front of him.

The heartbreak in Levi’s eyes almost broke Lando, the only thing keeping him standing was the hand he placed against the rail and the look of fear there.

You couldn’t be scared of someone already dead.

“Do you need anything?” Lando managed and Levi didn’t say anything, just shook his head, fresh tears welling in his eyes.

“There’s no news.” Vlad said, stepping out of the door. It took Lando a second to realize that he wasn’t talking to Levi, but him. Looking up Lando nodded. “Come on.” He motioned for Lando to follow, and he did.

Everything was numb.

“She’s been in surgery for almost seven hours now.” He said, keeping his voice low. Arabella’s roommates were spread out around the room. Some were sleeping, others were playing on their phone or reading. Katie was staring straight ahead, her eyes puffy and posture stiff. Vlad looked at her, a different type of heartbreak in his eyes.

“What happened?” Vlad pulled Lando to the far side of the room, before he answered.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Lando sucked in a breath, but Vlad’s hand wrapped around his arm before he could turn, almost like he knew what he was going to do. “She passed out. Katie came and got Seb and I after she called 911. They brought her here.”

“I shouldn’t have left.” Lando said shaking his head. “I should have…” He ran a hand through his hair, his hand catching on the mess of curls. No tears had come yet, but he felt his eyes stinging.

“She was cleared by the paramedics and ski patrol at the hill.” Vlad went on. “If it’s a brain bleed from the crash, it wasn’t detectable then.”

“Then I should have stayed with her.” He snapped, glancing at Katie.

“It’s not her fault.”

“Where was she?” He hissed.

“In the shower.” Vlad said, his tone lethal. “Arabella felt fine, we all saw her before we went to bed. “She was gone for a few minutes.” Lando opened his mouth to fire back.

“You should have been there.” The voice sent chills through him. Stopping him in his tracks, the anger gone, replaced by the ugly guilt he had been dealing with all day. Levi stood in the doorway, his eyes pure venom. “You don’t get to place blame when it was you who should have fucking been there!” He was screamed it at Lando, and suddenly no one was sleeping in the room anymore.

Lando did nothing but take it.

“She shouldn’t have been doing a trick that hard.” He continued. “I wonder where the fuck she got that idea.”

“I…” Lando swallowed.

“No one can stop her once she set her mind to something.” Vlad chimed in but it didn’t help. Levi’s eyes were stuck on Lando.

“Ever since she went out dating you fucking drivers she’s been pushing herself too hard. Always looking for the next thrill. She had to get on your level, you and your fucking crazy fast cars.” Fresh tears streamed down his face. “She shouldn’t have been trying that.” His voice broke, and he wrapped his arms around himself. “She shouldn’t have done it.” Lando just watched as Levi crumpled in on himself, pushing away Vlad when he tried to guide him into a chair.

It wasn’t fair for Levi to blame anyone, but what else could he do. The guy had lost his mother, then his father and now his sister was lying somewhere in this hospital fighting for her life. Lando knew this, but it didn’t stop the guilt from festering. If anything, it made it worse.

Lando took a seat, setting his bag down. He was exhausted, his bones literally ached. When his eyelids slid closed, all he saw was her face. So, he leaned his head back and counted the ceiling tiles. He didn’t want to see her face. Listening to Levi’s sobs was enough.

He should never have left.

If he paused his counting for even a second, he saw her face.

He saw her when she didn’t realize he’d been watching. He saw the beginning, her getting off the elevator with Max, wearing that blue top and white shorts. The white accepting her long tan legs perfectly. The moment he realized that she was so far out of his league but had someone managed to find his teammate.

His fucking teammate.

He saw her that first night she had walked out towards the water. When she hadn’t noticed him where he had been hidden behind a big rock. He remembered being annoyed someone had found him, until he realized it’d been her. He remembered the way the wind had toyed with her hair, the moonlight dancing across her skin. She had looked so stunning.

He’d gone out there to come to terms with the fact that she was with his teammate, and to get the imagine of him kissing her out of his mind.

And there she was.

Their rooms had been beside each other, like they usually were, and he had needed to get away from them. Until she had stepped up onto the patio. Those had turned into his favorite nights. He’d kept his patio door open whenever he was inside, just in case she stepped out onto it.

However, the one that replaying more than the others was the terrified look on her face when he had crashed and had been taken in the medical tent. The fear there, the hurt. All the pain, even though she hadn’t admitted to caring about him yet.

It was that moment that he knew. She cared for him the same way he cared for her.

“Family of Arabella Van Dijk?” Someone asked, and Lando snapped out of his daze. Blinking away images that sill managed to drift into his brain.

“Yes.” Levi said, crossing the room. “I’m her brother.” The doctor gave him a once over, before he looked around the room. His eyes landed on Lando, and they widened for a second before he turned back to Levi.

“And the rest of you.”

“Her roommates.” He said before anyone else could.

“We’re her family too.” Vlad added.

“I’m her only family.” Levi cut in and the doctor looked around the room, a slightly uncomfortable look in his eye.

“Well in that case, would you like to step outside so we can talk?”

“Levi…” Vlad started, but Levi shot him a look.

“I am, her only family.” He spat at him. His eyes shifted to Lando before he looked back at the doctor. Filled with hate, hurt and a whole bunch of blame.

“That’s uncalled for.” Vlad went on and Katie whimpered.

“Vlad.” Seb warned.

“No, this is bullshit.” He spat and Levi opened his mouth to say something, but Vlad didn’t let him get a word in. “I get your upset, and you’re going through something unimaginable, but don’t you dare say we’re not her family too. You’re not the only one who has a sister whose hurt, the only difference is the blood you share and the fact that you’re the one who gets to stop wondering if she’s going to be okay.”

Levi’s mouth snapped shut, and he just stared at Vlad for awhile. They stared at each other before Levi turned and left without a word. The doctor following him.

Silence fell over the room before Katie whimpered and dropped her head into her hands. Her broken sobs filled the silence as Vlad moved to sit beside her and warp his arms around her.

Standing Lando left the room. He didn’t stop until the fresh hair hit his face, until he found a small patch of grass off to the side of the hospital. Covered in snow, he fell to his knees and cried. Letting everyone little piece of his heart he was holding together with hope, and love, shatter like everything else.

He’d failed her, and he knew it.

It broke him, and he let it.

Knowing he deserved it. 

Chapter Text

December 2024 – Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

“Thanks for letting me take you to dinner.” Max said glancing around the small rooftop patio area of his hotel for the weekend. “Well, thanks for letting me order your room service.” He winced; it wasn’t necessarily the most glamorous dinner he could manage without the media being all over him. And he didn’t want that.

“Thanks for asking.” Arabella smiled, poking at her kale and chicken salad. He’d be lying if he said it hadn’t been awkward. Having dinner with his recently comatose ex-girlfriend who didn’t remember their breakup which led him to pretend they hadn’t for a few months after she woke up.

So yeah, it was awkward.

“I just wanted to apologize.” He said letting out a breath, rubbing his palms along his thighs. She raised an eyebrow at him. “I guess I should have lead with that.”

“It’s not that.” She admitted, cocking her head to the side making her blond ponytail fall over her shoulder. “It’s just not everyday you hear a Max Verstappen apology.” Max snorted.

“Yeah, it’s not exactly my strong suite.”

“No, it never was.” Max focused on his plate, poking at his chicken and steamed broccoli. “I wanted to apologize too.”

“What could you possibly have to apologize for?”

“How about you go first?” She challenged, and he smiled nodding. He opened his mouth to challenge her, but he closed it realizing that this was why he’d invited her to dinner.

“I’m sorry for not telling you the truth. For treating you the way I did after you woke up.”

“It really wasn’t that bad.” She gave a one shoulder shrug reaching for her wine glass. Max swallowed, wishing he could drink, but this was race weekend and he needed to focus.

And get through this.

“It wasn’t right. I took advantage of your amnesia, and I know it was selfish and horrible. So, I’m sorry.” She stayed silent, focusing on her wine glass as she swirled the rose liquid in her glass. “I just saw a second chance, not that I necessarily deserved one, but when I got that call…” he swallowed past the limp forming in his throat, “I thought I had gotten my second chance, but it was wrong, and I know that now.”

“Do you?” He nodded.

“I hurt a lot of people.” His eyes lowered to his meal again. “Doing what I did.” Arabella’s head cocked to the side again.

“Did she take you back?” Max snapped his head back to look at her, not expecting that.

“I’m working on it.” He admitted, not bothering to ask who she was talking about. Arabella had always had a way of knowing things. “She said she understood, and as much as she was hurt she’s not angry with me.”

“Are you together?” He nodded.

“I’m working on getting her trust back.”

“And she knows you’re here, with me?” He nodded again.

“She knows. I told her I needed to apologize, and he actually wanted me to do it in private. So that media didn’t get wind of it.”

“I wonder why.” Arabella sipped her wine and Max’s narrowed his eyes at her slightly.

“It’s because of Lando.”

His name still made ice slid through her veins. Made her heart start beating out of her chest, which was a new revelation from a few weeks, hell a few days ago. She’d come to Abu Dhabi under the understanding that Red Bull had started a foundation under her name and they wanted to celebrate it. She hadn’t expected to be out to dinner with Max, yet here she was.

She hadn’t seen him yet, although she wasn’t sure if she really wanted too. Her invited to the paddock had been to the Red Bull motorhome, which wasn’t near the McLaren one.

“Why would that matter?” She hid her shaking voice by bringing her wine glass to her lips again. Max’s eyes narrowed at her, but he just shrugged.

“I’d had to throw him off his game, have him think I’m using you to get in his head.”

“Are you?” Max shook his head, giving her a look that read ‘really?’. “You’re not necessarily above dirty tactics.” She pointed out and he shrugged a shoulder.

“True, but I wouldn’t go that low. We were friends before we were teammates, and that part of me will always root for him to win.” She raised an eyebrow, not surprised at his words, but surprised he said them out loud. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m trying to be the bigger person and shit.” She snorted.

“It looks good on you, being the bigger person and shit.” She took a sip of wine. “Kelly’s bringing out the best of you.”

“She really is.” He took a settling breath. “She was there for me, right after your accident, even after I turned on her.” He shook his head. “I was so horrible to her, and then when you woke up. Still, she stayed, through it all.” A hand slid through his hair, gripping and yanking on his roots. “I even blamed her for making me cheat on you,” he scoffed, “like there was anyone to share that blame.”

“Kelly’s not to blame for you cheating, but your not the only one to blame for our relationship ending.” Her voice was small, her eyes trailing on the rose wine in her glass. “I also need to apologize for that, so I’m sorry.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You cheated physically, but I think I cheated psychologically before that. If I had been honest with myself about my feelings, than maybe things would have been different.” Max watched her, his lips popped open, but she never rose her gaze from her wine. “You were everything I wanted, it was easy and fun. With you I could pretend that my life wasn’t falling apart, that my dad wasn’t dying.” Her eyes closed and she tilted her head. “But then Lando, he was…” her voice cracked, and Max leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “He was everything I needed.”

“He was everything I wasn’t.” She opened her mouth to speak, but Max waved her off. “It’s okay, I think there was a part of me that knew how bad things were getting for you, but I gave you space because we weren’t that couple. You’re right, we were fun. No depth.” Her shoulders seemed to fall slightly, and she let out a breath, nodding.

“Quite the pair aren’t we?” He snorted.

“You know I forgave you a long time ago, right?” He met her gaze and felt a rush of something similar to relief sliding through him. They were words that he didn’t know he had needed to hear. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “I mean I was mad, and hurt, but when I realized what I had done to you.” She shook her head. “You were right, everything you said in Austria was right. I checked out, long before you cheated.”

She doesn’t remember the hell you put her through.

“Yeah well, it wasn’t fair of me to accuse you of trying to get in my head by bringing that guy around, what was his name?”

“Morgan.” She snorted. “You know I didn’t actually bring him right? He’s a Red Bull athlete, so he had been invited.”

“Yeah, I may not have been in the best mindset that weekend.” He admitted and she nodded. “I’m pretty sure that’s the weekend you and Lando finally got together.”

“No.” She said, shaking her head and setting her wine glass down on the table. “I wasn’t ready, I made him wait until August, until we were in Zandvoort.” Max raised his eyebrows at that.

I remember my father’s funeral, and the wedding…

“I know, I really put that man through the ringer.” She shook her head, pulling her sleeves over her hands before pulling her knees to her chest. “I was so scared to let him love me; I wasted so much time.”

…but everything after that is kind of just blank.

“That man never stopped loving you.” He went on, his words especially chosen. His eyes watching her. “He brought flowers every day to the hospital while you were in a coma.” She tilted her head to the side, a small smile playing at her lips. “I mean I brought daisies, because I thought they were your favorite.”

“They are.” She admitted.

“Well, he brought lilacs so…” Max held his breath.

I’m not sure why he’d bring lilacs, I prefer daisies.

“They’re from when we were in Austria, when he told me he’d wait till I was ready.” The words hung in the air between them, and Max watched as a smile slid over her face before it fell her eyes widened as if she realized she’d made a mistake.

It could only be a mistake if…

“Holy fuck.” Max breathed. “You remember.” Arabella turned er face, resting her forehead against her knees. “Arabella, you remembered that, does that mean… do you have…?”

“Shit.” She whispered and Max blinked.

“How long?” Slowly, Arabella lifted her head, looking across the table at him. She chewed on her lip. “oh my god, were you going to tell us?”

“I was planning on it, after the championship.” She admitted, her voice small. “I didn’t want to throw either of your games off.” He lifted an eyebrow as a silent question. “I didn’t expect you to invite me to the dinner.”

“And the gala?”

“Well, I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you’d come, and if you did not for longer than a few minutes. Just show your face and then… well leave.” Max nodded, that had been his plan.

“What about Lando?” Her body visibly froze for a second before she regained her composure.

“What about him?” Max blinked.

“He’s also invited to the gala.”

“What why?” Panic slipped into her bones for a second. Reaching forward she grabbed her wine glass and took another sip. Max opened his mouth to say something, but he hesitated. Maybe the old Max wasn’t completely gone. “Never mind it doesn’t matter.” She waved him off.

“You’re going to wait till after the championship.” She shrugged. “Bella, promise me you’re going to tell him after the race.”

“Maybe.” She picked a piece of lint off her knee.

“You weren’t going to where you?”

“I…. was….” She swallowed. “I’m undecided.” He let out a loud groan.

“Oh, my fuck, Bella.”

“Why should I?” She snapped back.

“Because he deserves to know.” She downed the rest of her wine, setting the glass down on the table.

“It won’t change anything.”

“That’s fucking bull shit, and you know it.” She blinked.

“It’s none of your business Max.” He shook his head.

“Are we not friends?” He challenged, but she didn’t respond. “Well, I’d like to think we are, and that means I get to tell you when you’re making a mistake, and this is a fucking huge one. That man went through enough. He almost lost you and then was blamed for your accident.” She blinked, her lips parted. “He deserves to know.” Her eyes narrowed, fire licking at her irises. He was glad to see the fight back in her, but there was a lot of hurt. A lot of pain.

And a lot of fear.

“Thank you for dinner.” She pushed her chair up and stood her tone cold. “Good look this weekend.” Then she turned and walked away.

 Lando walked out of the McLaren motorhome just ahead of free practice three. All of the doubt, nerves, and any other emotions that had nothing to do with the car or the race back in the hotel room. On the balcony to be exact. He’d spent a few hours out there, pushing everything back into the box he had created in the back of his mind. By the time he arrived at the track, he had on the cool, collected exterior of a championship leading driver in place. He had the confidence to give Max a run for his money.

To take the trophy he’d worked his entire career, his entire life for.

“There’s something you should know.” A woman in a McLaren polo said following him out of the motorhome. He stopped turning back to the woman, who glanced nervously at his assistant who had let out a sigh when they were forced to stop.

“Does it have anything to do with free practice?” He asked, and the woman shook her head, biting her lip. “Then it can wait.” She opened her mouth to say something else, but he was already walking away from her.

She was obviously from PR, he could tell from her iPad and two phones in her hands, but he had neve dealt with her before. Which meant it was something that really didn’t matter, or it was something they thought was going to make him upset and maybe her being new and nervous would make the blow easier.

He shook the thought away as he slipped into the tunnel leading into the garage. His hand came up to smack the overhang, a tradition he only ever had at McLaren, never brought it to Red Bull, before he made the few turns before reaching the garage. He walked past headphones hanging up on the wall, a massive photo of himself on the wall, and a few McLaren workers who all wished him luck, or didn’t speak to him.

When he made it to the garage though, the room fell completely silent. Everyone turned to look at him for a few moments, before hushed whispers started up and people turned in on themselves. Shooting glancing over their shoulder at him.

“What the fuck is going on?” He asked, his voice low and only meant for his assistant as he turned to her. A hand slid through his wavy brown hair.

“I thought you wanted to focus on free practice?” She challenged and he shot her a look. He glanced around for the PR girl, but she hadn’t followed them. Letting out a breath, she shook her head. “Arabella is here.” His gaze snapped back to hers.

“Oh.” He said, turning away from her and towards his station that held his helmet, radio pieces and gloves. Taking a breath, he pulled his balaclava over his head, his fingers only shaking slightly. If it had been a few months ago, maybe even a month ago, her name would have brought a bigger reaction from him. Instead, there was only a sliver of a feeling, like a flicker of a flame almost burnt out.

“She’s been invited as a guest of Red Bull, for their brain-rehabilitation program they started in her name.” That made him turn to her, his lips open and his eyebrows touching his hairline.

“I’m sorry, the what?”

“The brain injury prevention and rehabilitation program that Red Bull started; you know because of their star snowboarder going into a coma.” He flinched, and thankfully she pretended not to see it. Lando focused on getting himself ready for getting in the car.

Of course she’d be there for that, and of course he knew about the brain injury program they started. He just didn’t think they’d parade her around this weekend to celebrate it. He assumed it was because Red Bull assumed they’d be walking home with a championship. If not with the drivers than the constructors. Lando lead the drivers, with Max close behind, but Red Bull had secured the constructors in the previous race dur to a few unfortunate retires by Lando’s teammate.

“Typical Red Bull, parade your ex around the paddock to try and mess with your head.” His assistant went on, shaking her head. It did sound like something Christian Horner would do. Although he’d like to think that Max would want to win on his own merit and not because of some dirty mind tricks.

“You okay?” She asked, as he pulled his helmet over his head. Lando thought about it for a moment, then shrugged.

“It doesn’t change anything.” Underneath his helmet, the corner of his lips twitched, remembering a promise he made months ago.

I won’t take the title without you.

“Does this mean you’ll change your mind about the gala?” He shot her a look out the hole in his helmet, pulling his gloves over his hands and flexing his fingers to make sure they were all the way on.

“You really want me to go to a gala the night before the final race of the season?”

“Technically, it’s after qualifying.” He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Abu Dhabi was a night race, and the gala was held after qualifying which happened later that evening. He could go, walk the carpet and be seen as being a supportive ex-Red Bull athlete, and still get enough sleep for the race the next day. “And you’re thinking about it.” She smiled.

“Norris?” Someone called and he shook his head again, trying to regain his focus.

“Don’t worry we’ll talk after.” He gave his assistant a nod before he turned and got into the car. The screens were still up, and he tried to take in the information he got from them as well as what was fed into his radio. An engineer lifted the screens just as a Red Bull car pulled out, headed towards the track.

Maybe Red Bull wasn’t above the tricks.

Chapter Text

December 2024 – Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

Arabella didn’t wear floor length gowns often, and as she looked in the mirror in her hotel room she couldn’t help the memories that started to come flooding back.

They’re so in love. It’s a rare type of love.

They came from the dark, or at least the shadows, which is where she started calling her missing months. For the most part they felt like memories she never lost, they had just been floating in the back of her mind, and it just took something to bring them forward.

It’s the type of love that shouldn’t be ignored.

This time she’d chosen a floor length white and black gown, with a one-shouldered asymmetrical neckline. Katie had helped her pick it out; it looked like two pieces of pleated fabric wrapped around her body breaking on either side of the slid that ran up her leg.

I want you to kiss me.

Her breath caught, the memory popping up out of nowhere as she brushed a strand of hair out of her face. The rest of it was curled and put up with just a few strands falling around her face.

Lando. Kiss me.

“You ready?” Levi asked, walking into her private room in their suite. His tuxedo was on loan, although you’d never be able to tell the way it fit him. Her brother was tall and slim, more of a runner than a weights guy. “Wow, you clean up nice.” Arabella smiled.

“Thanks, you don’t look so bad yourself.” She let out a nervous breath. “I don’t envy you having to wear a tux tonight though.”

“It’s cooling off.” He said, although he didn’t look too excited about it. “But yeah, it’s not exactly my outfit of choice.” He straightened his jacket, checking himself in the mirror over her shoulder. “You are ready though? The called up to say the cars here.” Arabella nodded, turning away from the mirror, she grabbed her clutch off the dresser and checked to make sure everything was inside it.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He held his arm out for her, and she took it with a smile. Glad that she had her brother there to calm her nerves.

Not that she had anything to be worried about.

“Katie texted; she said the guys are fighting over cummerbunds.” Levi turned to her, his brows furrowed. “Yeah, apparently, Benny forgot his.”

“Yeah, that sounds like them.” Levi smiled shaking his head. “Remind me again why we’re not riding with them?” Arabella shrugged.

“We’d need a team van to get us all there together, plus I…”

“Needed your big brother to calm your nerves before the big event?” He offered and she let out a breath nodding. God, she was nervous.

“I don’t understand why I’m so nervous.” She admitted, letting out a nervous laugh. “I’m not even speaking.”

“I know, I am.” He patted his breast pocket where his speech was tucked. She’d been asked if she wanted to speak about the impact of her injury on her life, and when she was talking to her brother about it he offered. It made the most sense, it affected her life, but it had absolutely turned his upside down. “Is this about your dinner with Max?”

“No.” She answered really fast. “It’s just, I don’t know. Something he said is sticking with me.” Levi watched her, waiting for her to go on. “He said Lando was blamed for my accident.” He swallowed, his face going a little pale. He turned away from his sister, taking a breath. “What was he talking about?”

“I blamed him.” Levi admitted, turning back to face her but not looking her in the eye. “After it happened…” he voice broke, and he forced himself to swallow past the lump in his throat, “well I needed an outlet and Lando was that for me.”

“Levi…” She reached out and rubbed her hand along his arm.

“He’s a good man, Bells. He kept showing up, even when I was horrible to him. I know it was for you, because he was so madly in love with you, but I also think he knew what he was giving me too.” He shook his head, blinking the tears back. “Even if I know he also blamed himself for not staying with you.”

“He’s not to blame.”

“I know, and I’ve apologized to him.” Her eyebrows rose. “Don’t give me that look, I know it wasn’t fair. I caught him asleep in your room one night, after I told him to go live his life and stop waiting around for you to wake up.”

“What?” Her heartbeat sped up, at the same time that something constricted in her chest.

“I told them, when I was transferring you home, not to visit anymore. To get back to their lives. I knew you’d hate that they put everything on hold for you.” She nodded; he was right. “But a little while later I came in to visit and he was asleep in the chair beside your bed. Allie said he snuck in in the middle of the night, and they didn’t have the heart to kick him out.”

Remember the bet we made? We bet two thousand, well I did, you bet me twenty…

She blinked, not sure where the words came from. There was no memory, just the feeling.

Just please come back to me, I can’t say goodbye not to you, not forever

They slithered through her insides, making her feel cold.

If you don’t wake up, I won’t take it. I’ll pull out of the last races.

Her fingers tingled, and there was something poking into her wrist, making it itch but she felt she couldn’t scratch it.

I’ll let McLaren fire me, I don’t care.

“What did you do?” She said, her voice a little breathless.

“I took him for breakfast.” He snorted a small laugh. “We talked, he tried to apologize, I told him there was nothing to forgive.”

“Didn’t tell me you had no idea about Lando and I?” He took a breath.

“I know, I knew you had a thing, but I didn’t know how deep it went. I thought he kept sneaking in because he felt guilty.” He shrugged.

I can’t breathe without you.

“It stopped after that visit.”

I fell in love with your heart, with your soul, and nothing can change that.

“Are you okay?” He asked, reaching for her elbow. “You look a little pale.”

“Yeah…” she trailed off, trying to clear the fog in her head. “I think I just need some water.” Levi nodded, immediately going for the nearest tap and pouring her a glass of water.

I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist.

Deep in her chest, she just knew. Knew who said those words. Her heartbeat fasted as she absentmindedly ran a finger over the fain scars on her wrist, where her IV had been inserted for months.

Gripping the spot, she realized then when she’d heard them, and why she could see the memory, only feel it.

 The ballroom at the hotel the event was being held at was packed with people dressed in a mixture of colorful, but formal clothing. There were lots of tuxedos, colorful wraps and stark white robes. Lando took a deep breath of the air conditioning, letting it dry up the beads of sweat that were sliding down the back of his neck. Even with the sun set in Abu Dhabi it was still hot, which made the red carpet feel like miles longer than it was.

The entire time he regretted his choice in attire, with the cultures present in the middle east, no one would have batted an eye if he’d worn a light-colored suit. Instead, he’d decided on the black tux because he wouldn’t stand out as much, at least no more than the championship leader who was favored to win tomorrow.

He’d shown up fashionably late. Telling reporters on the carpet that it was because of his cool down routine from qualifying. He’d pulled off a pole finish, which had been his final deciding factor for coming tonight. The truth was, he’d planned to show up early enough that he wouldn’t miss the first course being serves, but late enough that he could skip over most of the small talk and questions about the race.

McLaren had been ecstatic about Lando’s pole position, but Lando was trying not to let it get to his head. Tomorrow was a race just like any other, he would fight for the win, just like it was the first race of the season and not the last. Like the championship, which he had worked his entire life for, was on the line. No one on his team was allowed to tell him how high he needed to place, or how low Max needed to place. There were countless scenarios that ended with him with the championship, and he refused to know nay of them.

It was just any other race.

Unfortunately, for everyone else in the room it wasn’t just another race. He received lots of congratulations, good lucks and comments about his performance from a few hours ago when he got pole.

The front part of the room was a silent auction, items that ranged from a few hundred to a few thousand to even a few that ranged in the millions. Most of them were experiences from Red Bull, some in Formula One, others in other sports that Red Bull had a big hand in. It was evident by everything around him that Red Bull was the main backer of the Foundation. Which made sense, it was started because of one of their athletes.

A pang of annoyance slid through his chest as he walked past the auction items.

Past the auction items was the bar, which he would have loved to slide up to if it hadn’t been for his race the next day. He wasn’t nervous about being there, he just, well he knew that she was here somewhere, so he wanted a drink to turn him numb.

She was back in his head, and he hated it.

“If you’d please take your seats,” a man in a crisp tuxedo said at the microphone along the stage, “dinner is about to be served.”

Lando took it as his cue to move through the room, finding the seating chart and then his table. He didn’t pay much attention to who else was siting at his table, just found his name next to a number and then wandered through the tables until he came up to the table with that number on it.

Then he stopped dead.

Seven pairs of eyes stared at him, and each one of them were looking at him like he’d grown an extra head. Clearly, like he, they hadn’t noticed his name on the chart, or on the name card in front of the chair he was standing behind.

“No fucking way.” Vlad said earning him an elbow from Katie, who was sitting beside him, Kelly on her other side.

“I knew this was going to be a bad idea.” Lando’s face snapped to Max who sat between Kelly and Seb.

“You did this?” Lando had opened his mouth to say those exact words, but they didn’t sound like him. Instead, it was her. Sitting on the other side of Vlad was the woman of the night, Arabella Van Dijk. Dutch snowboarder, Red Bull athlete, and the woman that had tormented him for months.

Max held his hands up in surrender, everyone giving him side eyes. Even Kelly. “No, I had no hand in the seating arrangement, I’ve been a little busy the past few days.”

“But you knew about this?” Kelly asked, her eyes bouncing between Max, Lando and Arabella. Max popped a one shoulder shrug. “Max.” Kelly shook her head.

“I checked his name on the board, I’m shocked no one else did.”

“We didn’t know he was coming.” Arabella spoke again, a sharpness to her voice that made Lando finally turn to look at her.

She was sitting down, her hair pulled up in a curled updo with a few dirty blond strands falling around her face. Her dress had a one shoulder neckline with black and white fabric disappearing under the table. She looked stunning. She no longer looked sickly, her cheeks filled in and her shoulders were back to being muscular and toned. Gone was the frail looking girl who woke up from her coma. Her light blue eyes held light, and life.

“Please, take your seats.” The man at the podium was back, and Lando slid into his seat between Levi Van Dijk and Seppe Smits, as it read on his name card, but he’d met him as Seb, Arabella’s roommate.

“For the record, I noticed the name card and didn’t say anything.” Seb said, leaning into keep his voice for only Lando to hear. Lando glanced at his name card, noticing that it was tilted towards Seb slightly so there was a good chance that Levi hadn’t seen it either.

“Why not?” He asked, keeping his voice equally as low. Seb just shrugged.

The emcee started by welcoming everyone and explained how the night was going to go. There were speeches throughout dinner, a small intermission before the live auction and then finally a musical act to finish off the evening. Before he had finished talking, the servers started in from the sides delivering the first course of the evening.

Their table was silent as they ate, only a few people daring to whisper to people beside them, but no one spoke to Lando. By the time the first course was cleared, Lando didn’t want to be there anymore. He was about to get up, when the emcee called Max to the stage for his speech.

Now he really wanted to leave.

Max thanked everyone for being in attendance before he launched into a speech about being a Red Bull athlete and the pressures that came with it. He spoke from experience, how Red Bull helped him get to where he was, their young driver’s program and how he wouldn’t be the athlete he was today without them. He thanked Christian, Helmut and some coaches and principles along the way.

He wrapped up by talking about Arabella and Lando gripped his water glass willing it to the turn to alcohol.

“When I got that call, that she had been in an accident, I was frozen. Replaying the worst scenarios in my head. Because of the treatment she received at the event, her injury wasn’t caught early enough and because of that I believe she went through one of the hardest things a professional athlete can. She lost herself.” Lando stole a glance at Arabella who had her gaze focused on her plate, pushing around the remnants of her salad. His words didn’t seem to effect her at all.

“Since then, she’s worked her way back, with the support of friends and family, but she’s come leaps and bounds on her own that she didn’t need to. With the help of the foundation, we hope to not only help athletes more during their rehabilitation but offer new training programs for emergency response at sporting events. So, tragedies like this never happen again.”

Vlad and Seb shared a look, and Lando glanced at Katie who was shaking her head. Arabella’s accident was horrifically scary, and unfortunate, but tragic? She was competing again, she had her friends, her health, all back. Arabella’s life wasn’t tragic, not in any way. It was amazing, she’d overcome everything.

He was incredibly proud of her, even if he wasn’t able to share in her success anymore.

Levi gave Arabella’s arm a light elbow as the room applauded Max. She stood, wrapping Max up in a hug as cameras flashed. When she let go, Max shook Levi’s hand before coming back around and take his seat again.

The second course was served, and it was followed by the emcee calling Levi to the stage.

“I’m sure not many of you know who I am, but if my last name was any indication, I am the older brother of Arabella Van Dijk. We’re here tonight to donate money to a foundation started because of her, because of a moment that was not only almost career ending for her, but life ending as well. I remember that day well, I can remember what I had for breakfast, what my coffee tasted like. I can tell you that I was standing in my family homes living room, when I got the phone call, because I remember looking at a family photo of us.” Behind him the screen shifted from foundation logo to a photo. The Van Dijk family, before their mother died, standing in the mountains snow falling around them. Everyone had either skis or snowboards in their hands. Arabella was wearing a competition bib.

“I remember all this, because that day was the worst day of my life. As some of you know, we lost our parents, so she was all I had left. Standing in my family home, where my father sat us down to tell us that we had to go say goodbye to our mother, where Arabella and I spent the night on the couch, splitting a bottle of bourbon before our father’s funeral. I learnt that my only family left, was in trouble.” His voice broke and around the room people were dabbing their eyes with their napkins.

Katie had slid into Levi’s seat, holding Arabella’s hand. The other was gripping a cloth napkin that she brought to her face to dab under her eyes.

“There are lots of people here who can talk about the rehabilitation of the athlete after an injury like that, but I’m here to talk about all the ways this foundation will help the families of those affected and how important that is.” Levi took another shaking breath. “I was a mess after her accident, and I would have gotten nowhere without the support of others.”

Levi went into detail about how Red Bull helped. The train and plane fare they covered for him to travel back and forth. They organized her equipment and got it shipped back to the townhouse she shared with her roommates, and even though the house was a series owned by the Red Bull training program, they didn’t press Levi to move her out or charge her rent.

Lando kept stealing glances at Arabella who wore a sad smile on her face. She obviously felt bad about putting her brother through all of that. He kept his eyes on her, until Levi said something that he didn’t expect, and he shifted back to him.

Max also shifted in his seat, rubbing a hand over his chin.

“Whenever I tried to apologize to the people I hurt while dealing with my sister’s accident, they’ve all answered the same. That they couldn’t imagine going through something similar, and that whatever I did, I did because I was just trying to survive. And that’s the truth.

“There is, however, someone I want to thank. Not only did they help me through the toughest times, but he also helped start this foundation.” Arabella glanced at Max. “I know he wouldn’t want me saying it, but he deserves the same recognition as anyone else.” A few brows scrunched in confusion. “This whole thing,” he waved around himself, “started because all of this amazing support I received from Red Bull wasn’t because Arabella was a Red Bull athlete, but it was because another Red Bull athlete made it happen. All the support that everyone is so proud of was not freely given, it had to be asked for, fought for and I was in no position to do so.” Levi took a breath, his eyes finding Lando’s. “It’s because of everything that we had to fight for, that this foundation was started.

“Support for athletes is the bare minimum. These men and women put their lives on the line for sport. They chase the next biggest jump or the fastest lap, and teams like Red Bull push their athletes to do so by giving them the tools they need to do it. But when they fall? Those athletes aren’t the only ones who need that support.” Murmurs or agreement spread through the room. “Yes, they need the rehabilitation this program will offer, the support to get back on their feet and back to their sport, if they want.

“So, I’d like to raise my glass in honor of the person who started this all, my sister, and the man who fought when she couldn’t for her livelihood and her family. Thank you.”

Everyone around the room raised their glasses, Lando included, but Arabella stayed frozen in place. Staring across the table at him. At the man she knew her brother was talking about. He kept his head down, taking a breath before he met her gaze.

There was something there, he was sure of it. Her eyes were rimmed with tears, and brimming with emotion, but before he could read any of it, she stood and left the table.

Lando didn’t watch her go.

Didn’t make a move to go after her.

Lando Norris had come to the gala. The gala that was for a foundation in her name. A foundation that he started. At least that’s what her brother had hinted to. Then she looked at him, and she saw the truth of it in his eyes.

She hadn’t meant to storm out, but suddenly the room was too small, the air too thin.

Her dress was too tight, and he looked too good.

Around her people were applauding her brother’s speech. A few show her confused glances, but for the most part they were full of sadness. Pity. She forced herself to smile, her eyes rimming with tears again. She was sure that most people would assume her brother’s speech had moved her too much and she needed a moment. Or maybe they saw how horrible her makeup must be looking and decided that she needed to fix it.

Either way she didn’t care as she made her way to the back of the room, but instead of turning towards the washrooms, she turned into the hallway that connected the ballroom to the lobby. Needing air, needing space.

Needing a moment to process

He’d done so much for her. The conversation she had with her brother in the cemetery, the conversation with Max, and now this? It was all too much. She’d known he had loved her, but this was the first time that she really realized that she had been his whole world.

She had been the love of his life.

The doors opened behind her, and she didn’t turn, trying her best to clean up her face without a mirror. Turning she couldn’t help the sinking feeling in her gut when Katie was the one standing there.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just a lot” She motioned to the doors behind her. Katie nodded. “Help fix my makeup and then I’ll go back in.” Katie nodded and stepped up, bringing the napkin she’d brought with her to her face.

When she got back inside, Lando’s seat was empty.

And he didn’t return for the rest of the night.  

Chapter Text

December 2024 – Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

The sun was setting as Arabella, her brother, and all her roommates took their seats along the Sunset Lounge viewing area in Abu Dhabi. Arabella and her brother had been invited to watch from the Red Bull garage but instead she’d decided to join her friends in the viewing area that overlooked the pitlane, the start-finish straight and had a good view of 4 of the racing turns.

She’d denied their invitation, partly because she didn’t want to mess with either of their heads, but secondly she didn’t want to run into Lando. Not that she expected him to have a reaction to her, he proved that the night before, but she didn’t want play into whatever plan Red Bull did or didn’t have when it came to her affect on the McLaren driver.

It became obvious they had some sort of plan when Lando was seated with them at the gala. She was sure that Max didn’t have anything to do with it, at least 90% sure, but she wouldn’t put it past the rest of the Red Bull team.

It’s the same reason she left her Red Bull shirt at the hotel and had gone for a plain white tank top, khaki shorts and a burnt orange cotton button up which had only one button done up. With her sunglasses on, she slipped from the sunset lounge viewing and down to the paddock as the national anthem wrapped up and the drivers started towards their cars.

She’d planned to do it as soon as she arrived in the paddock, but each time she tried, the image of Lando’s eyes from the night before passed through her, until she decided waiting for him to be out of the garage was the best time to do it.

No one paid her any attention as she walked into the McLaren motorhome, most of the people still mingling around were here as guests, or they were taking in the last few minutes of peace before the race started. Only two, wearing McLaren polos looked surprised to see her, and one happened to be the one she was looking for. Smiling, Arabella walked up to Lando’s assistant.

“Arabella.” She looked startled to see her, even blinking a few times like she thought she wasn’t real. “He’s not here, he’s…” She started to point off towards the track.

“I know.” She cut her off. “I’m actually here to see you.”

“Me?” Her finger turned into herself. “What can I help you with?” She didn’t look too pleased to see her, a little annoyed almost but Arabella didn’t let that stop her.

“I was hoping you could do something for me.” At that, the woman crossed her arms over her chest and popped a hip. Her displeased look deepening.

“Look, if he doesn’t want to see you. I have to respect that.”

“I know, I know, I don’t want to see him.” She took a deep breath, pushing her nerves away. She needed to do this. Not just for her, but for him. “I just want you to give him this.” She held out an envelope to her, but Lando’s assistant eyed it like it was a bomb.

Which maybe it was.

“We made a bet about the championship, so, if he does what we all know he will today. Then give him this, if not, you can burn it.” Her eyes almost lit up at that. Tentatively she took the envelope from her.

“I’ll let him know about it, but I can’t promise he’ll open it.”

“That’s fine.” She admitted, but her heart ached a little at that. Arabella couldn’t imagine him not opening it, but then again maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did.

At least not anymore.

On lap 26 of 58, Lando pulled his car around another turn, the Red Bull of Max Verstappen close behind him. His tired were degrading, causing his grip to go, but if he could just make it a few more laps with Max behind him he’d be in better shape after his pit stop. His engineer’s goal had been to make it to at least lap 29, that would put their pitstop at least halfway through the race and allow him to put on a softer compound for his second stint.

Just a few more laps.

Lando pulled around turn 7 and 8, opening up to a straight where he floored it. Trying to get away from Verstappen. His engineers voice flooded his ears, telling him he succeeded to put some distance, but he was still too close.

Breaking late, the force of the turn pulled his stomach to one side as he rounded the next corner coming closer to the chicane that was the prime spot for overtakes on the track. Verstappen’s nose popped into his periphery as they rounded the next corner, but Lando had the inside line which put him out in front.

A chicane was made up of turns that were designed to slow the car down. The back and forth were usually quick and also created the perfect opportunity for overtakes. Verstappen followed him in, causing Lando to hit the breaks late to shrink the gap between him and the curb that Verstappen could squeeze into.

Verstappen’s nose disappeared from his view, as Lando turned the next way, accelerating slightly. The next time he saw the nose of the Red Bull it was on his inside as he turned through the second part of the chicane.

“Fuck.” He breathed, not backing down from his line.

Neither was Verstappen.

His entire car jolted as Verstappen’s nose made contact with Lando’s car. Everything happened so fast and Lando tried to keep control but there was no use. His tires had no grip, and gravity was taking over.

Metal screeched against pavement, and then the car flipped, and he was thrown around.

Before everything went black.

They heard the crash before they saw it on the television. It echoed around the track, and in the distance smoke and dust billowed into the air. Immediately Arabella’s heart stopped dead in her chest. Images flashed through her mind, from watching Lando crash back at the Spanish Grand Prix. While she was still with Max. It was one of the moments she realized that she cared for Lando more than she should.

Fear slid through her veins, gripping around her heart as she turned towards the television along the wall. There was no replay yet, but the entire track held their breath. Below the safety car was taking off from the paddock, and sirens sounded in the distance.

“The championship leaders have collided.” The announcer spoke through the speakers.

Arabella’s drink fell from her hand, colliding with the table as the world around her blurred.

“Holy fuck.” Someone beside them said and her head snapped towards the television as the replay started again.

Lando had the lead heading into the second part of the chicane. Verstappen was sticking his nose in the gap, trying to get Lando to budge but he didn’t. Lando stayed on his line, and that forced Verstappen’s nose int the side of his car, under his wheel, which pushed the McLaren up his nose and caused the car to become airborne.

They replayed it in slow motion, not that they needed to. There was no question what was going to happen, and what had caused it. Verstappen’s car stayed level, continuing through the turn. There was clear damage to his nose.

The McLaren landed funny, the speed and gravity making it bounce and flip. Landing on the halo above Lando’s head. He slid along the track, connecting with the barrier at a disgustingly fast speed.

“Red Flag.” Someone announced, but Arabella couldn’t tear her eyes from the crash as it replayed again.

The feed turned live, as emergency response showed up to the crash sight. Men with fire extinguishers sprayed the car, even though there was no sign of fire yet. Someone got down on their knees, looking into where Lando’s helmet was.

He wasn’t moving.

They hadn’t announced he was okay.

The man waves, and more crew ran forward. They worked on getting him out of the car while the entire track held their breath. Waiting.

Arabella’s entire body was rigid as she watched, her spilt drink ignored as it dripped onto her leg. Katie glanced at her, her hands above her mouth as Vlad placed a reassuring arm around her shoulders. Seb’s attention was glued on the screen while Levi kept glancing between the television and the crash sight in the distance.

As they pulled Lando from the car, obviously unconscious the live feed cut out.

“No.” Arabella breathed, the vice around her heart threatening to crush it. Crush her. The sliver of hope she had with that envelope was now crushed. Gone.

He’s not dead.

She closed her eyes, forcing the breath in and out of her lungs. Repeating the words over and over in her head like a mantra. He didn’t do everything to support her, only to die this soon.

He is not dead.

He needed to live; he needed to win the championship. He deserved that win. He deserved a life, a future.

He can not be dead.

“We have reports that Lando is responsive and being transported to the medical center here at the track.” She let out a breath.

"Are you okay?" 

"No." Arabella shook her head. "I thought he was dead, and he..." her voice cracked, "he doesn't know that I love him. That I remember every moment I've loved him." 

"What are you going to do about it?" Arabella turned, looking at her friends, then her brother. 

"I have to tell him." 

He’d blacked out. Coming to when someone was trying to help him out of the car. It had been disorientating, waking up upside down. His head spun, and his limbs didn’t want to cooperate. He felt like all his energy was gone, like he’d run a marathon and then been hit by a truck.

Which in a way, he had.

He was lying in the medical center, waiting for the scan results to come back. Waiting for the doctor to come back and tell him he was fine and could return to his driver’s room. The race had restarted, but he’d asked the nurse to turn it off.

He didn’t want to watch Verstappen walk away with his championship.

Lando didn’t need to watch the replay of the crash to know that it had been dirty. It was Verstappen’s style. Forcing drivers o back off on turns where they clearly had the lead. With where the nose of Verstappen’s car had been when Lando saw it, he had been in the lead at the apex. Max would most likely be slapped with a penalty but there wasn’t much they could do that would help Lando take the championship from the sidelines.

“Where is he?” A female voice said, and he was immediately transported back.

“Through there, Louisa.” His assistants voice filtered through the room. Lando pushed himself up in bed, groaning at the aches in his body, but he tried to get himself in more of a sitting position as Louisa walked into the curtained area he was in.

“Jesus, you scared the shit our of me.” She breathed, a hand on her chest when she stepped in and saw that he was okay.

“Sorry.” He breathed. “I’m okay though, a little banged up but I’m okay.” She nodded, stepping closer.

“I’m sorry too, about the championship.” He held up a hand.

“I don’t want to hear about it.” He snapped.

“Lando…” She dragged his name out. “This isn’t fair, I know. He never should have pulled a move like that, but you’re going to have to prepare yourself for the questions once you’re released.” His eyes narrowed at her, his headache coming back.

“I do not.” His assistant, who had followed her in stepped up beside Louisa.

“There’s already reporters outside, security is clearing them away but they’re going to be everywhere. We should talk about this.”

“No.” He snapped, shifting his gaze to his assistant. “I don’t have to do anything. I want to get out of here and got back to the hotel. No interview, no camera’s nothing.”

“I don’t…” His assistant started.

“Could you leave.” It wasn’t a question. “I need to be alone now.” Louisa looked over her shoulder shooting, his assistant an apologetic look but she just nodded.

“I’ll see what I can do.” As his assistant dipped between the curtains, Louisa took a step closer to the bed, reaching for his hand but he snatched it away.

“I need you to go too. There’s no after party for you to be invited to anymore, so you might as well just leave.”

“I..” She started before her shoulders slumped and she turned away from him. “I am sorry Lando.” He didn’t say anything as she left, just turned his head away and crossed his arms over his chest.

When he was alone again he dropped his head to the pillow and stared up at the ceiling, trying to calm the burning in his eyes. He knew he needed to cry, needed to get it out of his system, but if he started now he wasn’t sure he would be able to stop.

“Wait, you can’t go in there. He said he doesn’t want visitors.” He heard his assistants voice, but they must not have worked because soon enough he heard the curtain opening. The wheels sliding along their tracks.

“Louisa, I told you. I just want to be alone right now.” He breathed, keeping his eyes on the ceiling as he blinked back tears. Even his voice sounded weak. God he needed to get out of here.

“It’s not Louisa.” A voice said, and he froze. Slowly lifted his head his eyes landed on Arabella.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, his tone having a little more bite to it then he wanted. She didn’t flinch; she just looked at him. Her eyes tracing his body, checking for injuries.

“I…” She started, meeting his eyes again. “I was scared.” Memories flashed through his mind. They’d been in this position before.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” She stepped forward, her eyes tracing the monitors and wires attached to his body. “I saw the…” She trailed off, motioning to the television that was off. “I can’t believe…”

“It was a dirty move; he’ll get a penalty.”

“He did, but that’s not.” She swallowed, and for the first time he noticed how watery her eyes were. Red rimmed her eyes. She’d been crying. “I thought you were dead.”

“I promise I’m fine.” He said. “I blacked out for a little, but I passed the first round of tests, we’re just waiting on my scans to come back.” She nodded, taking a tentative step into the room. “Why are you here?”

“To check…”

“I’m sure they’ve announced it already.” He motioned to the television. Arabella nodded.

“I just…”

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t have you showing up all the time like it was.” She swallowed and he looked down, focusing on the hem of his fireproofs. “I get that you’re working through everything, but you’re messing with my head.”

“I’m sorry I just…”

“There was a time I’d do anything for you.” He went on, not letting her finish. “But that part of my life is over.”

“Is it true, what Levis said you did?” He fought a groan. Fucking Levi.

“He needed help but was in no position to ask for it. After everything I did, I thought it was the least I could do.”

“The least you could do? You didn’t make me get on that jump.”

“No but I left you alone.”

“You had work.” He shook his head.

“I should have stayed.”

“There’s no chance I would have let you.” He threw his hands up in exasperation.

“Well, we’ll never know now will we?” He snapped. “You were all your brother had left, and I remember how he was at your father’s funeral so I just…” he shook his head, leaning back on the pillow. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I don’t owe you an explanation anymore.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You told me to leave, to move on, remember?” She nodded.

“I do, but…”

“So, why aren’t you letting me do it?” He snapped again, looking at her. “You’re fucking everywhere, and I can’t do it anymore.”

“I’m not the one who kept tabs on my career through my brother.” She took a step forward, her voice angry. “I don’t get why you didn’t tell me…”

“Because you broke me fucking heat!” He was yelling, his chest moving from breathing so hard. Even his cheeks were getting flushed. “I asked you to let me take you through all of it again, let me show you how much we meant to each other, how much you meant to me.” His voice broke and it struck straight into her chest. “But you said no.”

“I just…” She swallowed. “I was just…” she trailed off. “I was trying to figure everything out. It was before I knew what you’d done for Levi, for me. Not just during my accident but at my fathers funeral, in my head that was all Max.” He flinched.

“I can’t deal with this today, of all days.”

“I know, I’m sorry I just…” She shook her head. “I was scared, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

“Well you don’t have the right to that anymore.”

“Lando I didn’t know I…”

“Didn’t remember? I know. I’m painfully aware of the fact that the universe decided that you forgot our entire relationship. But you didn’t give me a chance.”

“I didn’t…”

“Why’d you keep wearing my ring.”

“What?” He motioned to her pinky finger.

“The ring I gave you, why?”

“It’s my lucky charm.” He cocked his head to the side, the movement making him dizzy.

“And you trusted that?” He didn’t need her answer. “What about your board?”

“What does my snowboard have anything to do with this?”

“You didn’t change it out, even though it had my logo on it. You forgot our entire relationship, but still you trusted that board.” Her eyes widened slightly. “Our apartment was the only place that felt like home, the photos you kept where the ones I took of your friends. You kept everything that meant something to our relationship, but you didn’t trust that feeling enough to let me in.”

Her shoulders sag and he watched as she realized what he was getting at. He realized it a little while ago. When he decided to finally move on. She had kept pieces of him, the pieces that had made her feel safe, loved, luck. She trusted those pieces of their relationship, but either she didn’t put it together that that’s what they meant, or she didn’t trust those feelings.

Or she was scared.

“Lando I…” She swallowed, a tear slipping from her eye and he itched to brush it out of the way. “I’m so sorry.” He closed his eyes and rested his head back on the pillow.

He was right.

The truth was none of it mattered, he would take her back right now if she asked. But he was hurting more than she knew. This had to be the second worst day of his life.

Maybe one days she’ll remember everything.

The thought slid through his mind, but he couldn’t help but wonder if that would be enough anymore. He couldn’t wait any longer.

He wouldn’t.

“I was terrified.” She whispered after a few minutes, and he poked at eye open to look at her. “You showed up and had so much love in your eyes. The way you looked at me, and then when you kissed me.” She pressed her lips together. “I didn’t know if I was capable of loving you back the way you deserve, and that scared me.”

“It scared me too.” He admitted, not looking at her.

“I was hoping my memories would come back, you could focus on the season, and I could get back to the woman I was. If I could just get those memories back then it would all be okay and I…”

“I don’t think it would change anything anymore.”

She reared back like he’d hit her, and he instantly regretting the words. But he didn’t have it in him to care.

“I thought you couldn’t breathe without me.” She asked, and for a second he racked his brain for when he told her that, but he quickly gave up. Shrugging he turned his attention back to the ceiling.

“Well, I figured it out.” 

Chapter Text

December 2024 – Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

Lando was lying in the medical center, the doctor going over his recovery plan with him when the race ended. He'd cried, after Arabella had left he let himself cry for a few minutes. Let him feel the heartbreak of loosing the championship and closing the door on his life with Arabella forever.

He was lying there when his assistant walked in with tears in her eyes. Lando gave her a confused look, but he didn't get a chance to ask what was going on because behind her Zac Brown came barreling into the space.

"Have you heard?" He demanded, glancing at the turned off television, then he turned back to his assistant who shook her head.

"Heard what? What's going on?" Zac looked for the television remote. "Is the race over?"

"Not yet." His assistant managed.

"Then what's going on?" He turned to Zac who had found the remote and turned on the television. The race was still going. Lap 54 of 58. It took him a second, but then he shot up in the bed and leaned forward trying to get a better look. "Where's Max?" He asked, noticing the Ferrari of his good friend Carlos in the lead.

"Twelfth." Lando's gaze snapped to Zac's. He may not have paid attention to the results that would have landed Lando on top at the end of the race, but Max earning no points was a sure-fire way to make sure that Lando won the championship.

"What happened?"

"Front wing damage." Zac admitted. "His pit stop was long, and then they slapped him with a ten second penalty." Lando's eyebrows rose at that. "Horner's definitely going to argue and take it to the stewards at the end of the race. But even if he was only slapped with a 5 second penalty. He needs to place sixth to get the points needed to take the championship, and he's seven seconds away."

His mind was racing, trying to process the information as Zac was saying it.

"So that means..." he leaned back in his bed. Disbeleif taking over him.

"It means, that in," he glanced at the television again, "3 laps kid, the championship is yours." Lando turned back to the television, needed to figure it out on his own.

Everything Zac said was right, Max was seven seconds away from sixth, which would give him the 8 points he needed to take the lead of the championship. By one point, but still, it would give him the championship.

Except no one could make up seven seconds in 4 laps, especially not behind all that traffic. Even the great Max Verstappen. And in the off chance that Horner and Red Bull got his penalty taken down to five seconds, which was unheard of, he would still only land in eighth.

All three of them watched the screen as the laps tick down.

3 laps to go.

Verstappen up to eleventh and then tenth.

2 laps to go.

The doctor came in to patch him up. He had a minor fracture in his upper arm, and a strain in his shoulder. He'd need a sling for a few days, and he was on concussion protocol, but for the most part Lando wasn't listening. Thankfully his assistant was.

Final lap.

He held his breath, watching as Max tried his best. There was no chance he was making it. Still, he didn't let his breath out until he crossed the finish line.

In ninth.

Outside the medical center cheers erupted, but inside the room was silent. The doctor continued his work wrapping Lando's shoulder, his assistant had gone in search of a t-shirt and Zac was on the phone just outside the curtain. No doubt getting the celebration ready or figuring out where Lando needed to be in the next few minutes.

Drivers Champion Lando Norris.

It was unbelievable. A part of him didn't believe it, but on the television it was all they could talk about. The unlikelihood of him getting the championship. They were asking where he was, what the celebration would be. None of the stuff that Lando cared about. But each time they said it, it sunk a little deeper into his mind.

Drivers Champion Lando Norris.

"How long until he's done?" His assistant asked, as she made her way back into the curtained room, shirt in hand.

"A few minutes." She handed Lando the shirt and he pulled it on, careful of his shoulder.

"I have something for you." She said, once the doctor left in search of a sling, holding out a plain white envelope.

"What's this?" She chewed her lip for a moment, considering.

"It's from Arabella. She dropped it off before the race started. Told me to give it to you when you win, if you lost I was supposed to burn it." She shrugged.

He considered not opening it, leaving it closed and in the past with where he knew their relationship was. But he was too curious, and the dark cloud that had been covering his day when she was here was gone. A sliver of guilt for the way he spoke to her had wiggled its way into his heart, so he ripped the envelope open.

Inside was Canadian twenty-dollar bill, and a note.

You win, like I always knew you would

Love Arabella

His eyes widened.

"Lando stop!" She giggled, trying, barely, to wiggle out of his arms.

"I won't stop until you believe me." He tickled her harder, and she gasped, a fit of giggles overtaking her. Her body slid closer to his, the shirt she was wearing, his shirt ridding up.

"I..." She gasped down some air and he lightened up on the tickles. She took the opportunity to pin his arms at his sides, straddling him to keep him from tickling her. "You seriously think I'm going to win my sixth before you win your first?"

"Absolutely." Lando said from underneath her. Letting go of his wrists, she rested her palms on his bare chest.

"You're close, Lando, I'm sure of it."

"Well, I could be." He shifted his hips underneath her and she rolled her eyes, with a smile, while smacking him on the shoulder. "I think you're closer."

"Not unless I can land that backside triple cork 1260." He lifted an eyebrow. "It's the trick I'm working on."

"You'll do it. I believe in you." She leaned down, brushing her lips against his.

"And I believe in you." He smiled, brushing a strand of her hair he tucked it behind her ear.

"Want to put your money where your mouth is?" She laughed sitting back up, still straddling him as he was painfully aware. She lifted an eyebrow at him. "Make a bet with me?"

"A bet?"

"On our careers. I bet you two thousand pounds that you'll take your sixth world title before I take my first."

"Two grand? Alrighty rich boy." She rolled her eyes. "How about twenty?"

"Grand?" She rolled her eyes, smacking his on the shoulder again. "I'll put two grand on the table, you put twenty pounds."

"Twenty is definitely more my budget." She lifted a hand to her chin, contemplating. In one swift motion he sat up, wrapping an arm around her to hold her on his lap making her gasp.

"What do you say?" He held his free hand out in between them, his fingers brushing against her stomach. Smiling she slid her hand into his.

"You've got yourself a bet." Smiling, she pushed herself off of him and he frowned.

"Where are you going?" She giggled, darting towards the front of their hotel room she dug into her bag until she came up with something before running back and jumped into bed with him. "What on earth is that?" Holding open her palm she showed him a twenty-dollar Canadian bill and a sharpie.

"This," she held up the bill, "is the twenty I'm going to give you when you win the championship." Taking the sharpie, she wrote something on the bill before showing him.

Shaking he opened the twenty-dollar bill from the envelope. There, written in sharpie was exactly the same thing she had written in that hotel room in Canada. 

Lando Norris F1 Drivers World Champion

His heart stopped. There was no way anyone could have told her about that moment, because no one had been there for that moment. Sure, people knew about the bet, but no one knew about the twenty-dollar bill.

No one.

Unless she told someone.

She wouldn't have done that.

"Alright, you ready?" His assistant stepped through the curtain again. "What's that?"

"A twenty-dollar bill." Was all he managed to say. "Do you know if she's still here? Arabella?"

"No idea." His assistant was giving him a curious look.

"I have to find her." She lifted both her eyebrows.

"You pretty much told her to go earlier." Lando's eyes snapped to hers, and she shrugged. "It was hard not to hear." She motioned to the curtains.

"I didn't know everything." He said, almost pleading with her to see his side.

"Lando, when she said the same thing, you said that didn't matter." Her eyes softened.

"Can you help me figure out where they're staying? I just have to talk to her before she leaves Abi Dhabi." Sighing his assistant nodded.

"Fine, but we have to go celebrate you. Now." He nodded and followed her out of the room. 

"I found out which hotel they're staying at." She said, holding her hand out for the keys to his car. "I won't tell you unless you give me the keys." He narrowed his eyes at her.

They'd been arguing for a few minutes about his ability to drive to the hotel. Apparently the doctor had said no, but he felt fine. More than fine, and him riding passenger.

After leaving the medical center, he celebrated with his team. Watched his close friend on the podium before he was called up as drivers champion. They sprayed champagne together, Carlos helping him a little since his one arm was stuck in a sling.

He celebrated with his teammates, popped more champagne and took enough photos that his cheeks had started to hurt. It was a whirlwind, but one that he enjoyed. Welcomed even. It had been an incredibly emotional day, going from feeling like he had lost everything to then realizing that he had gotten everything he wanted.

It was crazy.

Maybe not everything he wanted.

Reluctantly, Lando held out his keys and placed them into her palm. She smiled, rounding the car to the driver's side and slid inside.

"So, are you going to tell me?" He questioned as the engine purred to life, and she pulled out of the parking lot.

"It's the hotel next to ours." She admitted, pulling onto the main drag. I can drop you off, but I need you to be back at the hotel by six." He nodded; he'd try to do that.

The drive was short, and when he was dropped off at Arabella's hotel he was suddenly incredibly nervous. What was he going to say, how was he going to say it?

He needed to apologize that was for sure, but he also needed her to know how badly he was hurt. How terrified he was to lose her; how impossible it felt to put himself out there again only to have her crush his dreams again.

Her accident may have been the worst day of her brother's life. But the worst day for him, was the day he realized that he'd lost her forever.

Or at least he thought he had.

"What am I doing?" He spoke out loud in the middle of a hotel lobby. People were walking by, congratulating him. His footsteps faltered, he came to a stop.

Shaking his head he turned around.

He couldn't do this. Be shot down by her again.

"Lando?" The tone was surprise, nothing like the way everyone else had been saying his name all day. Turning he was faced with one of Arabella's roommates.

"Vlad." He said, giving him a small smile.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, stepping closer. "And congratulations by the way."

"Thanks, and... well I was looking for Arabella." Vlad's eyebrow rose at that.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just..." He shook his head. "I said some things when I was upset, and I wanted to apologize." Safe answer, but that was okay. He just needed to see her.

"No shit." Lando reared back. "I mean I've seen her upset a few times in my life, being her roommate and all, but I haven't seen her like that."

"I know I know, I was an asshole but..."

"You made her feel guilty, for something that she had no business being guilty about."

"Well, I don't know if that's..."

"No, I get it, she treated you like trash. Went back to Max, and when she figured out that we had all been keeping this massive secret from her she tried to figure it out on her own. And yes, she turned you down in your apartment, the same apartment that she moved back into. Yes she kept your ring, and all the photos..."

"Woah, how do you...?"

"She tells us a lot." He shrugged. "We're also not stupid, we saw what she was doing too." Lando blinked. "But we also saw that instead of just loosing your relationship in those lost memories, she lost a part of herself. The part that you helped her find." Vlad took a deep breath. "I expected more from you."

Lando blinked again.

"Wow, Vlad I had no idea you were so..."

"Neither did I." He ground his teeth together. "Fucking Katie is rubbing off on me."

"I can see that."

"And I'm pissed. She was one of my best friends, and you gave up on her. Just when..." He caught himself and Lando took an eager step forward.

"It is true then; she got her memories back?" Vlad sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"There are still holes, but for the most part yeah."

It was like a hit to the gut.

"Is she here, I have to talk to her."

"No."

"Vlad, come on man." He waved him off.

"I'm not not letting you, she's not here. She took off to the airport, after you two had your little talk." He wiggled his finger at him.

"Fuck. Do you know where?" Vlad shook his head.

"No idea." He said with another shrug.

Fuck.

Arabella was tightening the straps on her ankle braces when someone cut the music she had blaring in the small training gym in Beijing, China. Glancing over her shoulder she noticed, Dimitri, he coach standing next to the stereo hookups.

"You know if you need to psych yourself up this much, this isn't a good idea."

"I'm just getting out of my head." She admitted, finishing up with her braces she stood testing them out with a few squat jumps.

"See, I don't know about this."

"Look, I have a helmet," she held it up for proof, "there are crash pads everywhere, the only way I'll get hurt is if I crash into you and you'll hopefully see her coming enough to dodge me."

"Dodge you?" She shrugged.

"Yeah."

"Arabella, want to tell me what's really going on?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You called me randomly asked if I was in China already and then told me you didn't actually care but it would be nice if I was because you were at the airport buying a ticket." She internally cringed at her exact words. "Bella, what's going on." Groaning she hopped up on the side of the trampoline, setting her helmet down beside her.

"My memories are back." Dimitri startled, his eyes wide. "They came back gradually, and it's been an emotional roller coaster to say the least." She took a deep breath. "I don't know where I stand with Max, or Lando or even my brother, and the one constant I always had was this." She motioned around herself. "I remember putting in hours in the gym when I was trying to figure out my emotions so that's what I want to do now."

Dimitri, who looked like he was still processing everything nodded a few time before he cleared his throat and asked. "Doctor cleared you?"

"Yes." He smacked his hand on the side of the trampoline.

"Alrighty, let's do this." She nodded, standing and putting her helmet on, clipping the buckle under her chin. "What are we working on? Double..."

"Backside triple cork 1260." She cut him off and his jaw dropped a few inches closer to the cushioned ground.

"Bella, no."

"Why not?" She put her hands on her hips.

"That trick almost killed you."

"I'm going to be the first woman to land it." He crossed his arms over his chest, regaining his composure and sliding into something she referred to as 'coach mode' whenever he wasn't willing to back down from something. In her defense, it hadn't been much over the years. He pushed her as much as she wanted to push herself.

At least, until this. Apparently.

"Dimitri, I remember."

"So, you've said."

"No, I remember." She dragged out the enunciation of the words. "I remember that day, I remember choosing to do the trick, and I remember the exact moment it went wrong." He didn't look like he was budging, but she saw the flicker in his eyes. "I knew I didn't have enough speed going into that jump, but I tried it anyways. I won't make that mistake again."

"I still don't like this." Success. "You have to land it perfectly, ten times in a row on here before we even attempt it on the snow and even then it'll be into a bag."

"Deal." A smile spread over her face.

"It won't be ready for Beijing."

"You sure about that?" Dimitri's lips fell open again.

"Arabella, that's five days away." Moving to the center of the trampoline, she shot him a wink before she started to jump.

"Then thank god we got here so early." 

Chapter Text

December 2024 – Beijing Big Air Competition

Arabella strapped up her board for her last training run of the day. It had been a gruelling week in Beijing. She'd been in the indoor training room with Dimitri for two whole days until he finally agreed to get out onto the snow. Beijing was filled with indoor slopes with artificial snow, so they were able to train in private. Even after her roommates had arrived, she still trained with only Dimitri until he was confident that she could it to the competition.

It was amazing what her body remembered that her mind hadn't quite caught up to. The first time she had tried it at the indoor jump; Dimitri hadn't been able to watch. She'd stumbled, her edge catching on the decent which caused her to tummy slide. He'd heard the impact, sprinting towards her, only to find her flipped onto her back and laughing in the artificial snow.

She'd landed it. Sure, her edge caught, but it was after she had placed her board flat on the snow.

When it was time to meet up with her roommates, and the other athletes who were competing, she felt more than ready to try it out in the competition although Dimitri still had his doubts. He kept adding to the number of times he wanted her to land it on the snow, which didn't bother her since the more she practiced the more confidence she got.

The first time she threw it in front of more than just Dimitri, she didn't tell anyone. Only her and Dimitri knew it was coming.

And she landed it perfectly.

It was like floating on air, the pride was overwhelming. It took the breath from her lungs, spreading across her body until her fingers started to tingle.

"Shut the fuck up!" Someone screamed from the top of the jump.

"Tell me that's what I think it was." Vlad said, standing at the bottom, waiting to get on the lift back up to the top, and she had never seen his jaw lower. It was practically unhinged.

Arabella just shrugged and undid her bindings. She walked over to Vlad who immediately wrapped her in a hug. Seb and Benny took the jump, not bothering with any tricks, but came barreling into them and wrapped their arms around both Arabella and Vlad.

"Holly fucking shit." Katie said being the last one to come and wiggle her way in. Arabella was laughing, her board long forgotten on the snow with the rest of them.

She wanted to bottle this feeling, take it with her whenever she felt alone, or felt nervous, or fear. Or anything that wasn't near the cloud 9 feeling she had in that moment.

"Can you do it again?" Benny asked, leaning back. Arabella barked out a laugh, which Vlad smacked him on the side of his helmet. "What? It was stunning."

"Yeah." She said with a laugh. "I can do it again."

He had an appointment made with a doctor in England, which was where he flew too after Abu Dhabi. He celebrated with the McLaren team at the factory and then spent some time with his family.

Vlad's words had stuck with him the entire time, and from the moment he left him in that lobby in Abu Dhabi he knew he was going to find her and talk to her. But he also knew that she was climbing back up in the snowboarding world and if his presence affected her half as much as she'd affected him, he didn't want to mess with her head.

Then there was the part of him that didn't know what he wanted to say. 'I'm sorry for being an asshole' seemed like a good enough start, but after that he didn't know what he should say. What he wanted to say.

'I loved you' seemed a little on the nose. There was a part of him that would always love her. But was he still in love with her? That much he wasn't sure on anymore.

Did he want her out of his life?

That was a question he also didn't know the answer too.

"I have something you might want to see." His assistant said, coming into his office at the McLaren factory. Office was a loose term. There was a desk, and a chair, but the other half was a comfy couch, television and there was a VR gaming system set up in the middle of the room.

Looking up from his spot in the gaming chair he furrowed his brow, but took the iPad was in her hands. "I'm sorry, Lando." She said, before she took a step back and lowered herself onto the couch. She'd been busy the past few days, organizing events, and making sure he was where he was supposed to be. He'd put a reminder in his phone to give her some time off, and a bonus before she ran herself into the ground.

"This is an real estate ad." He said, looking through the ad. "I don't ge..." He trailed off.

He recognized those floors. Those walls. The layout of those rooms.

"This is our apartment." Behind him, his assistant nodded.

"Her real estate agent sent that over, he asked if we wanted to buy her out."

He remembered that conversation. Her trying to paint a wall but seemed to think the only way to do that was to buy him out of the apartment. He hadn't let her, instead making sure the condo board, and the real estate agent who had sold him the place know that she was allowed to do whatever she wanted to it.

It had been in the back of his mind, the condo he owned with his ex. If he thought she'd accept letting him just sign the deed over, he would have done it. But she wouldn't. She would want to buy out his half of the apartment, and he knew that she couldn't afford it.

He could afford to let the apartment go, to loose whatever it was worth. Or what he had put into it.

"He's already got a few offers, and apparently she's ready to accept." It hurt more than he wanted to admit.

"She's moving?" He didn't look at her, nor was he really looking for an answer. It was right there, in front of him. "I..."

Did he want her out of his life?

The question popped back into his head. The reality that she was giving him that space was blatantly obvious to him now. He just needed to make up his own mind.

No, he didn't want her out of his life forever. He was hurt, scared, a little wounded in the pride, but other than that he didn't want to say goodbye to her forever.

He loved her, he'd always love her.

"I need to get to China."

"You have an appointment with your doctor in a few hours." She didn't look shocked that he wanted to go.

"I don't care." She nodded, smiling as she tossed his car keys at him from where he'd left them on the table beside the couch.

So, he was stuck in his sling when he landed in Beijing, China. He hated it, but he'd grown used to it enough that a few more days wouldn't kill him.

On the flight over he used it to think, to try and come up with something to say. He'd decided that no matter what happened, he didn't want her out of his life forever. He wasn't convinced he was ready to give up on a future that had her in it.

A part of him would always love her, and an even smaller part of him was desperate to be loved by her again. he'd just silenced it for too long.

By the time he landed, he still didn't know if he wanted to lay his heart on the line again.

All he knew is that he didn't want her out of his life. 

With her bib number on, Arabella waited just behind the finish carrel waiting for the men to wrap up their last semi-final heat of the morning. Katie stood beside, a ball of nerves as Vlad slid into the starting area and bent over to tighten his bindings.

"You know he's fallen over doing that." She whispered, more to herself than to Arabella but she caught it and laughed. "He'd kill me for saying, but with his knee." She shook her head, her hand gripping her board in front of her.

"He has his brace on." Arabella said trying to calm her friends' nerves. "Besides, he'd die before he ever fell on the starting line." Katie nodded but didn't smile at her joke.

They watched together as Vlad lowered himself to the proper spot for his jump. Concentration etched on his face before he jumped, turning his board the right way and bending low to gain speed on the descent. Katie held her breath her hands coming to her face. Her board slid out from in front of her, leaning against the fence before it slid down to their feet. Completely forgotten. Her knees bent as she watched her boyfriend disappear behind the jump, and when they saw him again, Katie had twisted her shoulders like she could will Vlad's body to do the same.

A pang of jealous hit Arabella in the chest as she watched her friend. She remembered watching Lando, the way her heart remained constricted until he crossed the finish line. She'd forgotten what it was like, until Abu Dhabi. Until she watched him take off from the start, the pride, and fear, then the ultimate terror when she realized the McLaren smashed against the barrier had his number on it. 

He'd come to her competitions, and she felt that he had felt the same thing when she competed. She'd never seen him to know that he looked similar to Katie when she watched Vlad, but she could only imagine.

They were adrenaline junkie, pushing the limit was part of their job, part of who they were. Watching someone else do that, knowing that no matter what they were going to fight for that top spot. That win.

Well, that didn't help the terrified part any.

Vlad landed his jump, and Katie went wild. Screaming and jumping up and down as Vlad slowed to a stop and undid his bindings. He looked up at her, shaking his head like he was embarrassed, but the smile he gave her that was in love.

Arabella remembered that feeling too.

The feeling of having someone to share your success with. 

"Ready?" Standing at the top of the jump, Arabella took a deep breath and nodded to the start ref. One jump down, her and Dimitri had decided on a safe jump to try and land her in the top 3. She wanted to throw her backside triple; she agreed with Dimitri; a safe jump to put her into the top 3 and then she could attempt it on the final.

He did say the word; attempt and she hadn't missed it.

She was nervous, too nervous and she knew it.

Giving herself an extra few seconds, she waited until the starter counted down past when she usually went. Then she hoped on her board, turning it to face down the run before she bent low at her knees, trying to gain speed.

It was a jump she could have done in her sleep, standing just as she reached the apex, she twisted her body, grabbing the side of her board and spun. A few turns, and she set her board down flat, successfully landing the jump.

Only she turned to stop a little too early, and her toe edge caught throwing her on her stomach.

"Fuck." She groaned with a mouth full of snow.

The crowd gasped, holding their breath until she stood and brushed the snow off. She waved off the ski patrol who seemed to have gone more pale then normal. Undoing her bindings, she stomped off past the interview crew, and through the finish carrel towards the snowmobile that would take her to the top.

She could have done that in her sleep, so why didn't she? She was pissed, annoyed disappointed. She failed at something she had been doing forever. A simple jump.

"You okay?" Katie asked, waiting near the snowmobile for her.

"I can do that in my fucking sleep." She spat, sliding her board into the sled attached. Katie's was already in there, and she followed her as she slid onto the bench of the snowmobile.

"Well, we all make simple mistakes sometimes." Arabella rolled her eyes but understood what her friend was trying to do. They stayed silent as they rode up to the top of the jump together. Getting off, Katie followed her, tip toeing over her friends obvious pissed off mood. "You still have one more jump." She offered, as they retrieved their boards from the sled. Arabella nodded.

"I know, I just have to shake it off." She gave her friend a small smile and Katie nodded, her won beaming. "You have a shot at winning this." Changing gears, she, tried to focus on her friends jump. She'd landed her jump perfectly, landing her in third place going into the last heat.

"Oh, I doubt it." She waved her off. "There's no chance I can pull anything out that'll rival Zoi." Arabella nodded, Zoi had shown up this season and had dominated.

People had been calling her the new Arabella Van Dijk.

"Did Vlad go crazy?" Katie's cheeks flamed at her comment, and it made Arabella smile.

"He can be so embarrassing."

"Mhmm." Arabella rolled her eyes. "You were the same way."

"I know." She shook her head. "God I have it bad." Arabella smiled. "Sorry." Her face twisted in a wince.

"Don't be." Arabella waved her off. "I'm really happy for you." Katie smiled, her hand resting on her friend's shoulder.

"He'll come around."

"I don't think so." Arabella said, not looking at her friend. She glanced towards the end carrell where fans were standing and then to the stands where fans were all waiting for the next heat to start. "You didn't see him."

"He was upset about the race." She nodded, understanding. He'd been an emotional wreck leaving the track. She'd texted her brother, telling him she was heading back to the hotel. For a second she thought about going back to get the envelope back from his assistant. A part of her didn't want her to burn it, she wanted to hold onto that memory. Maybe wait until he actually wo the championship to give it to him. She'd always known he would win it. It's why she had held onto the twenty all those years.

But with everything he'd said, she felt she wouldn't be there for that.

He said he'd figure out how to breathe without her.

Not that she should remember him saying that. She'd been in a coma, but everything he said was there in her mind. There was no memory attached, no setting, or outfit she could tie to it. There was just those words, etched into the deepest parts of her.

Levi had followed her to the hotel, turning the television on so he could watch the end of the race while she packed. She'd booked a flight and was about to leave for the airport when the announcer on TV had said it for the first time.

Drivers Champion Lando Norris.

He'd done it, just like she always knew he would. Then she really wanted to find his assistant and get the envelope back.

"Arabella?" A voice pulled her from her memories, and she nodded towards the Red Bull coach who'd walked up to them. She recognized him as one of the coaches who worked with the guys mostly, Alan, she though his name was. "Dimitri wants to talk to you?" He held out his phone and she took it, confused why she wasn't being handed a radio.

"Dimitri?"

"How ya feeling after that?"

"Fucking pissed." She said, not hiding the annoyance in her voice.

"You know what that means don't you?"

"What?"

"You're not scared."

"Of course not, I..."

"You fell, Bella. You fell flat on your face and the only thing you felt was pissed off because you didn't land it." She stayed silent, she hadn't even realized that. "I'm proud of you, and I think you're ready for it."

"I think so too."

 Lando landed with just enough time to head straight to the event to make it for semi-finals. He'd been keeping up with the competition on his phone. Seeing that she was doing great. With traffic and trying to figure out how to get to the competition without bringing attention to himself, he missed the semi-finals. It wasn't until the finals started that he was finally taken through the VIP entrance to the front of the carrel.

It felt weird being there, especially why he was trying not to bring attention to himself. He usually didn't care if people recognized him, but he really didn't want her to know he was there. At least not until she was finished for the day.

He kept his knit hat low over his forehead, sunglasses covered his eyes, and the hood of his hoodie was pulled up around his head. He had a scarf around his neck too, which he used to dip his chin in when he passed through the crowds. His sling was on outside his hoodie, his jacket hanging on the back of his shoulder. Thankfully it was chilly, and cold so one thought it was weird that he was so bundled up.

Getting settled in the section; he watched and waited. Arabella's first jump was perfect, and she was smiling as she interviewer asked her about it. God she looked good. Excited. Vibrant.

Alive.

She hugged Katie, and then Vlad and Seb before they walked over towards the snowmobiles that would take them back to the top. He felt slightly jealous, if the guys weren't standing in the competitors only area he thought he might go stand with them.

If they'd have him.

Vlad had seemed pissed at him in the lobby of the hotel, but he also seemed like it was looking out for his friend. If Vlad knew he was there to support her, would he be okay with that?

Would she?

Lando stayed where he was as the second heat started. Katie was near the top and had landed her jump. A respectable one, that didn't put her ahead of Zoi, who was the favored to win as he understood it. Arabella was up and he held his breath, watching as she turned her board and bent her knees low to gain speed.

His heart was in his throat as she disappeared, and he felt his shoulders turn as she flew through the air twisting with a side grab on her board. She landed, flat on her board, but turned too early and slammed onto her stomach.

Lando jolted forward, as if he could get to her. The imagine of her not moving the last time he watched her crash sliding through his mind. But he held himself back.

Not breathing.

He watched.

Waited.

Begged.

He finally took another breath as she pushed herself off the snow, brushing the snow from herself. His head dropped between his shoulders as she stomped off towards the snowmobile.

"She'll need something impressive to land her in the top three." The announcer said, as she bypassed the interview crew.

"Do you think she has it in her? She's still coming back from her injury, and maybe she just doesn't have it yet."

"She has it." Lando said without even thinking. Taking a quick glance around her made sure that no one heard him. Truthfully no one was paying him any attention. Smiling to himself he turned and focused back on the final heat.

He didn't even realize he was moving to the front of the fenced off area, until he was gripping the front fence as Arabella slid into the started area and tightened her bindings. Again, he held breath as she took off, his heart constricting as she disappeared and then she shot into the air faster than she had on the last jump.

He'd recognize that jump anywhere, and fear gripped him as he was transformed back to the night that he almost lost her. Watching as she twisted her body through the air, her hand found her board.

He couldn't blink, couldn't breath.

I thought you couldn't breathe without me.

Her voice filtered into his mind.

I can't breathe without you. I can't live without you. Please come back to me.

Realization slid through him, her body still flipping through the air in slow motion as he was transported back that hospital room in the dead of night.

Begging her to come back to him.

And she did. 

Chapter Text

December 2024 – Beijing Big Air Competition

Arabella could barely think, she could barely comprehend what just happened. It wasn’t until the announcer said it. Told the world what she had done that it registered. Tears started to well in her eyes, and she brought her board to a stop at the bottom of the run.

“She’s back!” The announcer practically screamed into the microphone. “Arabella Van Dijk is officially the first woman in history to land the backside triple cork 1260!”

Arabella lifted both of her hands above her head, fist pumping the air in triumph. She’d done it. She landed the jump that had almost taken her life, her career, her relationship.

Undoing her bindings she looked around for her friends, for anyone.

But the men’s final was next, so the guys were at the top of the run.

Katie hadn’t gone yet.

Levi was back in the Netherlands.

She didn’t have anyone to share it with.

She was alone.

It hit her harder than she expected. The feeling of having no one to share such a huge moment with. She forced the smile to stay on her face. Turning she heard Dimitri yelling from the coach’s corner, where they all stood at the apex of the jump. She gave him a wave before grabbed her board and walking toward the interview area.

“Arabella Van Dijk! You did it!” The interviewer said with a smile. “How does it feel, to be the first woman to land that jump?”

“It feels great.” She admitted, because it did. “It was everything I ever wanted.”

“Now this is the same jump that led to your injury, what was the decision to try it tonight?” Arabella thought about it for a moment.

“I think I needed to prove, that I could do it. Prove to myself that I could do it. That all that hard work I put into it didn’t go to waste.”

“Well, it’s very impressive.” The interviewer’s attention was pulled, and he smiled. “And it seems you have some fans who think so as well.” He motioned toward the fence and the fans on the other side.

Following his line of sight, she looked at the crowd. Most of them had settled down, but a few were still cheering. She gave them all a smile and a wave, a little boy who was holding a sign with her name on it, a man she recognized as one of Seb’s friends and then her eyes landed on him.

“You fucking did it!” He screamed, clapping his hands together. One arm in a sling and one wasn’t.

“Oh my god.” She breathed. “I gotta go.”

“Of course, Arabella Van Dijk everyone!” He spoke the second part back to the camera, but she was already moving.

Dragging her board along with her she walked the small distance through the carrel, and he followed along the outside, until the space between the two fences was non-existent and there was only a waist-high fence separating them.

Lando was here.

“You’re here.” She said, his smile infection as it took over his face.

“I’m here.”

“Why?” Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, he went to pull something out but stopped.

“I wanted to support you.” He admitted, and she nodded.

“Thank you.” She said, and she meant it. “Congratulations by the way, Drivers Champion. That’s gotta feel good.”

“It does.” He said, taking a deep breath. “It really does.”

This was awkward. Arabella felt it, and she was sure that Lando felt it as well.

“I always knew you’d do it one day.” He nodded, his mouth open to say something else, but he never got the chance.

“You did it!” Katie squealed, barrelling into her. “Oh my god, you should have seen the guys. Don’t tell him I told you but I’m pretty sure Vlad was crying.” Arabella smiled turning her attention to her friend.

“Really?”

“Benny’s convinced he should try it, but the guys are talking him down. He’d never be able to do it.” Arabella laughed, shaking her head. That sounded like something Benny would say. He’d never actually try it, he was more of a box and rail guy, but still it was funny.

“Sounds like him.” She glanced at Lando, who hadn’t moved. His hand still in his pocket. Katie hadn’t noticed him yet.

“Come on, we gotta watch Zoi. See if you got gold or silver.” Arabella turned to her at that.

“What?” She blew a raspberry.

“You really think you could pull that off and not move to the top?” She grabbed both of their boards. “Please.” She took both their boards towards the competitors viewing area which was off to the side of the jump. A few of the other women were standing there, along with the guys who hadn’t made it. Glancing back at Lando he waved her off.

“If you want me to go I will, but I’d like to see you after, if that’s okay?” She nodded, not really being able to form words at the moment. Turning she walked over towards where Katie had gone.

By the time they got there, Zoi had landed, and Katie screamed again when her score flashed across the screen.

It wasn’t enough to knock Arabella off the top spot.

He’d come.

Why did he?

Katie was too focused on the men’s final to pay her any attention which she was thankful for. Her mind was reeling, sifting through all the possibilities of why he could be there.

Deliver some stuff was the one that made the most sense to her, even though it was absurd. Lando was world champion, and he had looked like he was in disguise. It didn’t make sense for him to fly all the way to Beijing to deliver her things.

Did he even have some of her things still?

The other options made her heart hurt, and she hated it.

He was here to support her?

That made sense, he had been following her career. Her brother had proved that to her. So, he was just here as a fan. That made sense.

Did it?

Worst of all he was there because he got the envelope. He knew she had her memories back, or maybe he didn’t and just wanted to make sure.

Did he want her back?

Did she want him back?

Of course she did. She wanted everything. Wanting the future that she had dreamed about for months. She’d dreamed of standing by him when they awarded him the drivers champion trophy. Another floor length gown that would hold memories she would hate to forget.

She’d forgotten part of their relationship, and it had caused them to loose to much time.

She didn’t want to do it anymore.

Glancing over her shoulder she looked for him, but he wasn’t where he had been. He said he’d stay, and she hoped he meant it.

She needed to see him again.

 Lando had been recognized which had put a damper in standing at the bottom and waiting for Arabella to be done for the day. A little boy had asked for his autograph, and he had obliged before making his way back towards the chalet and hiding in the back of the VIP area waiting for the men’s finals to be done.

He wanted to see her on the podium, wanted to see her smiling and celebrating. With Zoi sitting in second it meant that Arabella would be standing on the top of the podium, Zoi on one side and Katie on the other.

That was something he had to see.

He’d almost pulled the bill out of his pocket. Almost showed her that he knew she remembered him. But then he stopped himself. Holding back the revelation because this moment wasn’t about him. It was about her.

So, he just wanted to support her.

Then he’d talk to her.

On the screen above the VIP bar, he watched as the men went. A few times the commentators speculated if some of the guys could have completely the trick that Arabella had. A few of the guys had difficulties up with the level of the backside triple cork 1260, but, according to the commentators, none of them had come closer to the finesse that was Arabella had needed to pull off her jump.

When the final heat started, an announcement was made that the women’s podium celebration would take place as soon as the guys was over. There had been no protests so the scores would stand.

He made his way back through the crowd, pulling his scarf up over his face as he went. The front of the viewing area was packed, even the VIP area so he had to stand a few people back. He wasn’t the tallest guy ever, F1 drivers rarely were but he managed to get a spot where he could watch the live event as well as the massive screen just to the right of the finish carrell.

The announcer called Katie out, awarding her a small trophy, then Zoi, then finally Arabella. The crowd screamed and cheered, clapping gloved hands together. She hugged Katie, and then Zoi who didn’t look at all upset that she had landed in second place.

They posed for some photos, then the three of them got up with Arabella and posed for some more. Zoi and Katie stepped back, motioning for Arabella to have her moment alone and she smiled and waved to the crowd holding her trophy in one hand above her head.

She looked amazing. Her smile taking up most of her face. Her helmet was gone, a toque replacing it. Her dirty blond hair looked tangled and was falling out of the braid in her hair, but she didn’t seem to care.

She’d done it.

Proved to the world that nothing could hold her back.

And he was so stupidly proud it hurt.

Pulling his phone out he took a photo of her. Wanting to bottle the feeling he had to go with it. Lowering his phone, he shot her a text knowing that she wouldn’t get it until she was taking her equipment off.

Taking one last look he smiled, whipping the tear that had slipped free of his eye, and then he turned and left. 

It was a whirlwind. Being on the podium. Feeling the reality of the accomplishment she had just done. The trophy in her hand, matched the ones she had back home, but this one meant more to her than any other she had.

She landed it.

Looking back up towards the VIP area where she had seen Lando the last time she couldn’t find it. But it was now packed with people, and the lights set up were almost blinding since night had fallen made it impossible to focus on any of their faces.

Her and Katie waited through the men’s podium, Seb in second, Vlad in third. They looked happy, posing for their photos, but their smiles grew when they came towards them, and they wrapped everyone in a group hug. Benny, Jesse, Vlad, Seb and Kaite. Everyone was there to celebrate this with her.

And Lando.

“Lando’s here.” She found herself saying, which caused all of her friends to take a step back.

“I’m sorry what?” Vlad asked.

“Lando’s here, he came.” She repeated.

“No shit.” Seb said with a smile. “Knew he wasn’t a complete idiot.” Arabella gave him a shove. Then looked over her shoulder again towards where she was sure he was.

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know.” She admitted. “I saw him after my last jump.”

“You mean the-jump-that-made-history.” Benny said and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah that one.”

“Are you sure you didn’t hallucinate? You did spin a lot.” Vlad used his hands for emphasis, which earned him an elbow from Katie. “Ouch.”

“Well come on, let’s get our stuff and we can celebrate at the hotel.”

“But…” Arabella started but Katie waved her off.

“It’s a zoo, text him to meet us.” Arabella nodded, taking one last look over her shoulder but she still couldn’t find him.

When she got to her bag, she pulled her phone out to text him but there was one already waiting for her.

I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to see you. Text me when your done and I’ll come find you.

Taking a breath, she responded with just the name of her hotel and then slid her phone back in her bag.

 Lando was sitting in the hallway outside her room by the time they got back to the hotel. He was wearing the same outfit as before, but the scarf and hat were in his hands. His messy curls on display, and his jacket was on the floor beside him.

“Vlad, I think I’m going to come over for a bit.” Katie said behind them and Vlad just chuckled, wrapping an arm around her.

“So, she wasn’t hallucinating.” Benny said and Arabella shot him an elbow which he dodged. She waited as they all filed into their rooms, on the same floor, before she walked up and pulled her room key from her pocket.

“Are you coming in?” She asked.

“Do you want me to?” She shrugged, opening the door. Tossing her bag inside she leaned back and held a handout for him to take. He was still in a sling, and she’d hate for him to hurt himself getting up off the ground. “Thanks.”

The touch sent a shiver through her, which she ignored.

“Congratulations.” He said, motioning to the trophy as she set it on the table just inside the door.

“Thanks.” She felt his eyes on her as she stepped further into the room. Taking off her jacket she tossed it on her bed, before she slid her snowpants off, leaving her in just her thermal pants and snowboard socks. “What do you want to talk about?” She turned back to him, sitting on the foot of her bed. She was soar and tired, the adrenaline from the win leaving and she knew her friends would be eager go celebrate.

And eat, Jesse hadn’t shut up about how hungry he was since they’d left.

“This.” He reached into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out a green bill that she’d recognize anywhere. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of it.

He got her note.

“What about it?” Lando chuckled.

“You remember.”

“I remember a lot of things.” Another chuckle. “Sorry I didn’t tell you right away, I just…”

“Didn’t want to mess with my head.” He finished for her, and she smiled nodding.

“Something like that.” She took a breath. “You said it didn’t change anything.”

“I know what I said.” He walked further into the room, leaning back on the television stand to put himself across from his. He kept his jacket in his arms, mostly to stop himself from reaching for her. “I was upset; I thought I had lost the championship.”

“I thought I had lost you.” She admitted, not looking at him. Her eyes were stuck on her lap, picking at a loose threat on her jacket. “I watched you crash, and I just…”

“I know, I….”

“Why did you decide to come now? I gave that to your assistant a week ago.” She motioned to the bill in his hand.

“I just needed time, I…”

“You told me you got over me.”

Well, I figured it out

“Will you let me finish?” He snapped and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Like you did when I came to talk to you!” She snapped back.

“I was an emotional mess!” He threw his one hand in the air, the other locked in a sling. “I thought I lost everything, and it was turning into…”

“What the worst day of your life?”

“God no!” He spat. “The worst day of my life was the day I realized I lost you.” Her lips popped open. “The day in that apartment, when I kissed you and I realized that there was nothing there anymore.”

Clearing her throat she regained her composure. “Yeah well…”

“No, it’s my turn to talk.” He stood, and she shut her mouth. “I loved you; I wanted to grow old with you. Spend the rest of my life with you. Have kids with you. I had our entire future planned out and we had been dating for months. God, I was so in love with you I was ready to give up my seat just so I could sit by your bedside and wait.” He took a few steps towards the window, his breaths heavy.

She itched to go to him. To tell him that she was sorry, and that she didn’t mean any of it. That the woman she was without her memories wasn’t who she was. She had figured that out when they all came crashing back.

“I wanted to be there when you woke up. To see the life in your eyes. I would’ve given anything to be there. Not to find out by watching you kiss Max. Wearing my ring.” He looked at her hands, not seeing it he scoffed. “Still, I was just happy you were okay. Don’t get me wrong I was pissed, but you were awake. Alive. I still thought I had a chance, you know? Eventually you’d come back to me, after your brain had time to heal, but…”

“I never did.” She finished for him. Itching to say more, but she couldn’t. This was about him, letting him get it off his chest.

“No, even after you found out, you didn’t. After I begged you to let me take you through our relationship. You told me to move on.”

“Lando I know… I…” Tears prickled her eyes, her heart hurting for him. Hurt for herself.

“And now you are, and I just…”

“What?”

“The apartment.”

“The apartment?”

“That’s why I’m here.” His voice rose again. “I had planned to watch your competition at home. I had an appointment to get my sling off.” He motioned to it. “But then I saw the add for the apartment, and I just…” He took a breath. “I don’t want you to sell it.”

“Why not?” He scoffed, taking a breath, he shook his head.

“Because I fucking love you! And I can’t stop, no matter how hard I try.” Lando looked at her, his eyes wide and desperate, his chest heaving with every breath.

“Lando…”

“And I know the apartment holds so many memories, but it’s ours, and I don’t…”

“Lando!” She stopped him. “I sent the add because I wanted you to have the option of letting me buy you out.”

“But I…”

“You said you learnt how to breath without me.” Her voice broke. “You told me you had all but moved on. And I kind of already knew that because of Louisa, but I just… well I hoped that it wasn’t true. Because yes, I forgot, and yes I didn’t let you in. But the truth is I was terrified to let you try.” She stood, taking a step towards him. “You looked at me through so many memories, and yes I kept the ring and yes I knew that that apartment felt like home because of you. But I was scared, and I just…” She swallowed. “I didn’t think I deserved to be loved the way you loved me.”

“Arabella…” Her name on his lips was going to be undoing.

“No,” she held her hand out, “I need to get this out. I remember July 7^th. I remember being terrified because you had all this love to give me. Then my father died and everything changed for me. I realized that I didn’t just want to be loved the way my parents loved each other, but I wanted to love someone like that, too. That I loved you like that.” A tear slipped from his eye, and she crossed the space brushing it away with her finger. He leaned into her touch, and she smiled.

“Bells…” She placed a finger over his lips.

“I still want to sell the apartment.” She breathed, her hand sliding back to cup his cheek. He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. “Because I don’t want to live in an apartment where I have the worst memory of us.”

“What’s that?” He breathed, his eyes opening to look at her.

“Telling you to move on.” His brows furrowed. “I don’t want you to move on, Lando. I don’t want to start at the beginning; I don’t want to date you.” Another tear slipped free. “I’m in love with you Lando Norris, and I don’t want to take a step backwards with you. I want to find a new place with you. I want to spend the rest of my season with your cheering me on, and then I want to travel with you watching you win your second world championship.”

A smile that lit up her entire world spread over his face, and her heart soared.

“You do?”

“What do you say?” She breathed, leaning her forehead against his. “Want to start our forever?”

“Just like you promised?” He asked, leaning back to brush his nose against hers.

“Just like I promised.”