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It was late, well into the small hours of the night by the time their shuttle reached planetfall and descended toward the surface below. The journey had been all but completely silent, frigid in mood as well as temperature, and anything but celebratory. Hours before, they had declared their vows before the billions, their union a promise of peace and purpose for the evolving galaxy that was slowly aligning with the New Order regime.
The Dark and Light joined together in a symbolic handfast, equals married in front of a Coruscanti audience, countless more watching on the Holonet. It was meant to be a time of great celebration. Systems spanning from Core to Outer Rim had declared holidays. Feasts and services of thanksgiving were supposed to usher in an era of joyous peace. Ceasefires and detentes marked the day. The war had abruptly ended.
But that honeyed wine they had toasted their marriage still tasted like death on his tongue. He was supposed to be happy. His master had given this marriage his blessing, yet Kylo Ren did not feel blessed nor lucky.
A headache had started hours ago, nothing more than a tiny spark of pain behind his eyes. It had only grown in intensity since their wedding, leaving him exhausted and a little nauseated. His bride sat across from him on the transport. Still dressed in her ceremonial regalia, she looked stunning in her black wedding gown. The celebrant had bestowed her with the title Lady Ren as if she had been crowned royalty. Oh, how the crowds erupted in applause as Kylo had covered her with a diaphanous shimmer silk cloak, symbolically bringing her under his protection.
Rey hadn’t spoken a word since she uttered her vows before Kylo and the galaxy. As he sat across from her, he sincerely doubted she intended to love or cherish him. Nor did he believe that she would honor her vows to fight at his side in any battle.
It was a business arrangement—no more, no less. The ceasefires had been predicated on their union. The two had become one because Supreme Leader Snoke had declared it so.
It was probably a good thing he couldn’t see her eyes. Still hidden behind the elaborate marriage mask, they were likely shooting daggers at him. It covered the upper half of her face, leaving only her mouth which was painted in a dark vermillion stain visible. The little scavenger cleaned up well for a feral desert rat. She looked absolutely regal in the mask, he thought to himself. The accompanying diadem’s bronze spires radiated from her head like rays of sunshine and resembled a crown worthy of a queen.
But he wasn’t a fool. He knew she used the mask to hide from his gaze and bury her contempt for him deep within. Her consent was nothing more than window dressing, a diplomatic agreement to hasten a ceasefire and allow the Resistance a place at the table when it came to reforming the Senate.
He didn’t need to see her face to know the seething resentment she carried with her through the ceremony. Her hatred for him was palpable, and if it weren’t for his Knights of Ren escorting them for the journey to their destination for the night, he was certain she would have ripped his lungs out. Perhaps wooing her to be his dark apprentice would not be so difficult after all. Her silent rage was palpable. It would not take much to tap into that energy and entice her down the path of darkness.
Sheets of rain pelted the ship as it descended below the cloud line. Lightning flashed across the night sky, and thunder rolled in the distance. Spring had long been the rainy season on Naboo, its frequent deluges replenishing the lakes and awakening the first blooms of the season that would fill the surrounding meadows in the days to come.
The Night Buzzard touched down on the tarmac with a gentle thud. The lakeside cottage was a short walk away–their final destination for the night, a simple guest house on the sprawling Varykino estate which had fallen under First Order control when its forces invaded Theed in the south. The irony of it all was not lost on Kylo as they prepared to exit the ship and set foot in his ancestral home.
Rey silently rose to her feet and headed toward the waiting exit without looking back at him. Beneath his own mask, he could help notice how beautiful she looked as the lightning flashed and she was briefly silhouetted against the pale light. She had managed to shield herself from him for the duration of flight, but now as they were about to spend their first evening as husband and wife, her contempt for him flowed off her and into the many eddies of the Force’s unrelenting waves. She may have gifted the crowds a demure smile beneath her bridal mask, but there was no hiding what she truly felt for him.
Standing beside her, Kylo leaned in and said, “We can activate the rain shield so you…”
She didn’t bother to look back as she stepped into the storm and stalked down the path without a care that the rain immediately soaked her cloak.
“...you don’t get wet,” he added, for once hating how impersonal his voice sounded with the helm’s vocoder.
He quickly followed her and caught up to her in about three strides. Small puddles gathered in the recess of the stones that lined the path to the guest house. She’d never worn heels before, and walked with all of the wobbly grace of a Falthier colt.
Kuruk waited for them as they reached its front door and opened it so that they could enter.
Kylo allowed Rey to enter first. The overhead lights automatically flipped on the moment she crossed the threshold. It was simple, but elegantly appointed and far more opulent than where he had been living for years. The short hallway yielded to a welcoming great room decorated in warm earth tones. A tall counter covered in black Nabooan granite separated the open kitchen from the living space. A fireplace served as the focal point in the corner while the giant windows that framed the lake beyond took up the far wall.
The knights closed the door behind the two, and Kylo distinctly heard the lock activate. For better or for worse, he and his bride were locked within, and the Knights of Ren were their guards to keep them from leaving.
Rey was already untying her cloak and stripping it off before they even reached the great room. Kylo was there immediately to take it from her. His mother had taught him etiquette years ago, and even though neither woman would likely appreciate it, he felt the need to extend manners and decorum to help diffuse the tension.
Now that they were alone, he didn’t want to hide behind his mask, not with her. The sooner they got along, the easier their lives would be. Reaching up, he activated the release and tugged the helmet off and set it on the side table.
She struggled to untie the binding that held the diadem on her head. Kylo walked over to her to assist, and she rewarded him by flinching away from his attempted touch. Once she loosened the knot, the crown was in her hands, the mask still covering her eyes.
“It’s heavy,” she said, finally breaking her hours of silence. Her voice was icy and devoid of any signs of affection. “Do I have to wear this again?”
She was cornered and angry. And likely as exhausted as he. Kylo knew she had the ability to tear his face off–she was almost successful the last time. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with her.
He shook his head and answered, “No, it was just for the ceremony.”
The crown clunked to the floor, two spires bending and another snapping entirely off before he completed his sentence. Rey tore at the mask. It wasn’t as tricky to remove as the diadem, and it quickly joined the crown on the floor.
The elaborate eye makeup her attendants had painted on her was smeared and streaked. It wasn’t from the mask, he realized. No, it was from crying. She had done a valiant job using the Force to shield her grief.
Now that she was exposed, Rey didn’t bother to hide any of her feelings from him. She took in her surroundings with a sneer.
“Now what?” she demanded, tugging at the hairpins that held her hair up in an elaborate updo of braids. Before he could stop her, she was pulling them out teasing them out of their multiple plaits. She didn’t know it was supposed to be his job to let them down. While she didn’t love him and thought of him as nothing more than a monster in a mask, he couldn’t help but wish that in another life, he could unwind her hair not as an enemy but rather as a loving partner. Not even Snoke knew how he had been infatuated with the scavenger since the moment he laid eyes on her.
“I don’t know,” he softly answered before taking off his own cloak. His heart ached for them both.
Her heels clicked on the tiled floor as she walked down the hall. Things would hopefully be better if they could both get some sleep. After all, it was a long day that was beginning to bleed into two.
Rey stopped at the end of the hall and refused to go any further. The anger she carried with her quickly dissolved into panic. He did not miss how the horror spread across her face, and he silently cursed himself for not realizing the painfully obvious before they had landed.
The guesthouse only had one bedroom.
They both stood there for a moment, staring at the expansive bed within with its many pillows and its silken duvet. It was big enough for four people, but clearly meant for only two.
She slowly turned to face him. There was no mistaking how she began to tremble. She swallowed once nervously, and for the first time since she’d agreed to the marriage, Rey looked him in the eyes. Hazel, they weren’t brown. For the first time he noticed the green and gold flecked in the brown of her eyes. And they were swimming with unshed tears.
“Is this where we have to consummate this?” she asked, her voice brittle and small.
“No,” he quickly whispered as he shook his head. Kriff, was he a fool. Of course she was terrified. She was so young and had given up her life for the Great Armistice, and here she stood steeling herself to allow him to take what he wanted.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he added, not daring to come any closer. She blinked once, and a tear streaked down her cheek. “Especially like that.”
Rey nodded and stifled a sob as she wrapped her arms around herself.
“I know you have no reason to trust me,” he said, “but I promise you that I will do everything I can to keep you safe.”
With that, he had to come clean. He didn’t deserve absolution, but if they were going to learn to trust each other and find a way to coexist, then she deserved the truth.
“It’s why this was my idea,” he confessed. “This marriage.”
Her eyes narrowed and her temper flared like a flame engulfing tinder. She raised her hand to strike him. Kylo stood motionless and allowed her hand to slap his face, the crack of resonating in the silent hallway.
His face stung, and he let the pain help him focus with what he was going to say next. He had committed unspeakable crimes, but he wanted her to know that this arrangement was one of the few acts in his life that had good intentions.
Before she could hit him again–because he knew she would, the fight in her was only beginning, he grabbed her wrist and added, “We both know Snoke had my knights capture you because he wants to train you and turn you.”
Rey yanked her arm from his grasp and staggered back a step from the force of it all. Kylo didn’t pursue. “Hear me out,” he said, trying his best not to be a threat to her. She needed to listen to what he had to say.
His larynx bobbed and he was swallowed before gathering his thoughts. “I know this marriage is a sham, and that you’ll never love me,” he began. “And yes, the detente that came with it will likely save billions of lives. But that’s not the reason why I wanted to marry you.”
“Go on.”
Another curt nod before nervously raking his hand through his hair, Kylo continued. “My master agreed that if you married me, I would be your teacher.”
“I’ve already turned you down once,” she spat. “What makes you think I would agree now?”
He held up his hands as if to surrender or show her he means no harm. Kylo dropped his cloak to the ground and slowly started to undo the belt around his waist. She took a cautious step away from him. He knew the optics were horrible starting to disrobe in what was supposed to be their wedding bed.
“Trust me,” he murmured. “Please.”
When she didn’t retreat, he quickly slipped off his quilted tunic and let it join his cloak on the floor. Next, he grabbed the thinner long-sleeved undershirt that remained and tugged it over his head, leaving him bare from the waist up.
“This is what happens when Snoke is your teacher,” he sadly explained.
A multitude of scars riddled his torso. The twin scars to his shoulders—one from that traitorous stormtrooper, the other from his battle with Rey sat like twin epaulets on either side. He wasn’t ashamed of the snaking mark that carved its way over his pec on its way up his face. It was where she had marked him forever. Nor was he scared to show her the scar the size of his open hand that spread across his flank where the Wookiee had shot him. He earned that one in spades.
No, the scar he wanted her to see, the one he wanted to protect her from started over his heart. It fanned out in a ferning fractal pattern across the left side of his chest. It snaked beneath the waistband of his trousers as well as the crest of his left shoulder and journeyed down his back as well. Kylo remained silent as she looked at him with shock as she realized what had caused it.
There was no mistaking the pity in her voice. “He shot lightning at you,” she said.
He nodded.
Her anger quickly evaporated, and Rey stepped forward to tentatively place her hand over the ferning scar above his heart. Her touch was soft and comforting, and it made his skin erupt with gooseflesh. It didn’t hurt like his master’s. He closed his eyes for a moment and savored the stolen touch.
“Why do you stay?”
He let out a breath. Kylo didn’t have a good answer to her question. Belonging, acceptance? It was what drove him to Snoke when he was younger, but lately it felt more like isolation and pain.
“It’s complicated,” he finally decided to say, hating how admitting it finally made him feel so vulnerable. He didn’t want to admit he was as trapped as she was.
“I could help you,” she offered.
He shook his head before sadly smiling. “It’s nothing that can be solved tonight,” he admitted. “It’s been a really long day and it’s late. I know you’re exhausted, too. Let me grab something to change into, and you can have the bedroom.
Rey nodded and stepped out of his way after he retrieved his discarded cloak and tunic and slid past her. Closing the door behind him, he deposited his formalwear on the chair in the corner, he boots at its feet. He quickly searched the dresser drawers. First Order staff had unpacked clothing for them both prior to their arrival. He grabbed a knit tee and matching leggings he usually wore to train. After a quick change, he turned down the bed for her and exited the room with one of its pillows.
Rey had her shoes in one hand when he opened the door and left the bedroom. They brushed past each other as they started to head in different directions.
He reached down and gently took her hand in his, thankful she didn’t shrink away or strike him again for his boldness. He raised it to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss into her knuckles before once again releasing it. “You really did look beautiful today,” he told her.
She blushed a bit and gifted him a small smile. “Goodnight, Kylo,” she said as she closed the door.
_______________
He first tried to sleep on the couch. It was comfortable enough, its cushions softer than his own bed. But that only lasted an hour or so before his back and hips started to ache. It was too short for his tall frame, and trying to make himself fit only made matters worse.
Next, he attempted to sleep on the area rug in front of the couch, but that wasn’t any better. With little padding beneath the rug, it felt like he was trying to sleep on concrete.
Or maybe he couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t stop worrying about Rey.
Kylo reached out with the Force to sense his new bride from across the small cottage. Her mind was at peace, and she drifted in and out of a dream filled with that rocky island she he had seen the last time he tried to see her thoughts. He probed no further, not wanting to violate that fragile trust brokered only a few hours earlier.
Unable to sleep, he finally stopped trying and tossed the pillow on the couch. Kylo remained on the floor, content to sit up and lean against the furniture. The throw blanket pooled in his lap and he wiggled his bare toes through the thick carpet pile. The guesthouse was far more luxurious than any place he had lived in the past decade, and he stared out the large bay window and enjoyed the night’s stillness.
Rain still coursed down the window, but the worst of the storm had let up.If it hadn’t been raining, he was sure he could’ve seen Convergence–the Palpatine ancestral residence across the lake. The Lake Country was breathtakingly beautiful, and he was hopeful that the rains would let up and they could explore the many paths before their brief visit to Naboo came to a close.
He closed his eyes and let his mind wander. The rain drummed out a quiet cadence on the roof, and thunder gently rolled in the distance. He wasn’t quite meditating, but he hadn’t been this relaxed in ages.
Kylo wasn’t sure how long he let his thoughts stretch out. Eventually he heard the bedroom door open and Rey quietly pad her way out to the great room and toward the kitchenette. She fumbled in the cabinets until she found a glass, filled it with water, and downed its contents in a few gulps.
She spotted him on the floor, and quietly made her way to where he sat.
.
She was not wearing one of the ridiculous silken nightgowns he’d see their staff pack in preparation for this day. Rather, she had emerged from the bedroom in the black long sleeves undershirt he had tossed on the chair and wore it far better than could. She had rolled up the sleeves so that they fit her better. Its bottom hem brushed against her legs at mid-thigh, revealing the golden skin of her bare legs. Her face was freshly scrubbed and no longer covered in elaborate makeup, and her hair hung loosely down her back.
Always a scavenger, but he’d never seen anything more lovely and was pretty sure every drop of his blood had rushed right to his groin. It was a good thing he still had the blanket draped across his lap.
“You’re up late,” she said as she perched herself on the couch beside him.
He adjusted the blanket on his lap before answering, “Insomnia and I are old friends.”
“Your real name is Ben, isn’t it?” she said, cutting to the chase.
Suddenly he felt more exposed than ever. There was no sense lying to her as she already knew the answer. She was keenly aware who had been his parents and that he murdered his own father.
“It is,” he finally admitted with a sigh. Snoke had conditioned him to hate the name. Ben Solo was a weakling. Kylo Ren bowed to no one. But the name sounded cherished when it spilled from her lips.
“If we’re going to be married,” she started, “that’s what I am going to call you.”
“It’s not allowed,” he tried to explain. His master had forbidden anyone from calling him that.
“Because he says it’s so?” Rey asked. “Snoke doesn’t get to say what I call you behind closed doors.”
“Ben Solo was a coward I killed years ago,” he answered. He needed that separation. He needed to be a monster, because when he went by the name his parents had chosen, he was weak and scared and wanted by no one. He couldn’t be that child again.
Rey slid to the floor to sit beside him on the floor. She didn’t wait for permission and grabbed one end of the blanket to cover her own legs. Her skin was warm against his, and it terrified him. Rey should be his enemy, not someone sharing a blanket on the floor.
“No,” she countered. “I’m pretty sure Ben Solo is still alive. You think you’re walled off from everyone else, but I’ve seen the real you, Ben. The conflict is always there. I feel the Light in you. You want to be this cruel monster, but I’ve seen your kindness. I’ve seen your compassion.”
“You don’t know me, Rey,” he sighed. “I am that monster. I don’t know how to be anything else”
“Then let me get to know you, Ben” she explained. “If we’re going to survive whatever Snoke wants to get out of this marriage, we will always be stronger together.”
She slid her hand in his and laced their fingers together. Her touch was electrifying. The Force around them sang at the connection, and he was surrounded in a warmth and peace that he’d never experienced before. The Force showed him a possible future. The vision it shared was overpowering in its hope. But just as quickly as it emerged in his mind, it faded back into the every turning eddies in the Force.
“Did you see it, too?” Rey whispered.
Ben nodded in reply. He’d seen as well–both of them standing together as allies and lovers. The war was over, and they had each other in the comforting gloaming of dusk.
Could he dare to dream of such a wonderful future with her.
“So if you get to call me Ben,” he began, “what do I get to call you?”
Rey leaned over, resting her head against his arm. He didn’t want the moment to end.
“Lady Ren is a stupid name,” she said thinking out loud. “Rey Solo will work just fine.”
The first rays of sunrise started to peek over the hills on the other side of the lake. Dawn was nearly there. Ben could feel it in his bones. For the first time in years, he started out at the new day and felt hope, and it felt wonderful.
“Before our worlds collided, I felt so alone,” he confessed as he shifted and wrapped his arm around her.
“You’re not alone, Ben,” she replied.
“Neither are you.’