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It all started when Buck was late to dinner.
It’s not like Bobby thought that Buck was struggling just because he was late, because of course Buck had been late before. When Bobby first met the man, it was nearly impossible to get him to show up anywhere on time. Buck would forget what time he was supposed to be somewhere, or he would get distracted by some other, more fun activity.
But now, as Buck entered his thirties, he was finding his footing in adulthood. Bobby knew he could rely on him now and was deeply proud of the responsible and mature person Buck had become.
So, when it was half an hour after the scheduled dinner time and Buck still hadn’t appeared, Bobby was starting to get concerned.
“Where is he?” Bobby asked vaguely to the others sitting in his living room.
“Don’t look at me.” Eddie replied. He himself had showed up late, mumbling something about Christopher having a pubescent meltdown when he was dropping him off at his friend’s house. That made sense, at least. But Buck had no reason to be late.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” Athena assured Bobby, bringing her hand to her husband’s shoulder.
“He probably just got distracted.” Hen rolled her eyes.
“But he’s never late.” Bobby insisted. “Not anymore.”
“You’re just upset because you thought you could beat all his bad habits out of him.” Hen continued, laughing.
“I’m upset because the food is getting cold.” Bobby countered. “We’ll wait another ten minutes, but if he’s still not here we’re eating without him.”
Everyone shrugged in agreement, and Bobby tried his best to act like he wasn’t worried at all.
Seven minutes later, Buck finally burst through the door.
“Sorry I’m late!” He exclaimed, hanging up his coat.
“Where were you?” Bobby asked. “It’s been nearly forty minutes.”
“I—” Buck stuttered. “Um—I got caught in traffic.”
“Traffic?” Hen asked. “There was no traffic, Buck.”
“Right.” Buck said. “There wasn’t, but I was stuck behind a…truck.”
“You were stuck behind a truck?” Bobby asked. “What kind of truck could possibly make you forty minutes late?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Athena interrupted. “Everyone is here now, and I’d like to eat before the food grows mold.”
“Of course,” Bobby agreed. “Let’s head to the table everyone.”
As everyone took their seats, Bobby kept finding his way back to Buck, noticing that the man seemed more…frazzled that usual.
Something was up. Bobby didn’t think he was going to be able to let it go.
--
A few days later, Bobby found himself with an extra dish of macaroni because he still hadn’t gotten used to cooking for only two people. Normally, what Bobby would do is pack up the extra food and bring it to work.
This time, he had a different idea.
“I’m going to bring this to Buck.” Bobby explained to Athena, kissing her cheek as he pulled the macaroni out of the fridge.
“Do you really think Buck needs a whole dish of macaroni? He’s just one person. And I thought you taught that boy how to cook.” Athena said pointedly.
“Buck loves my macaroni.” Bobby argued, as if it discounted any of the points Athena had just made.
“I know you’re worried about him.” Athena said. “But I think you need to remember that he’s grown up a little bit. You need to trust that Buck can take care of himself.”
“I’m just bringing him macaroni.” Bobby said, heading out the door, because he didn’t have any other counterpoints. “I’ll be home soon.”
Bobby realized when he knocked on Buck’s door that maybe he should have called first, because it had been nearly two minutes since he had knocked on the door and had gotten no answer.
“Hello?” Bobby called out, knocking again. “Buck, are you home?”
The door opened, but just a crack, and Buck’s face peaked through.
“Bobby?” Buck asked. “I uh, didn’t know you were coming.”
“Sorry I didn’t call.” Bobby said. “I just had an extra dish of macaroni, and I know it’s your favourite, so—”
“You did?” Buck said, stepping out into the hall and shutting the door behind him. “Thank you, Bobby. That’s so nice of you.”
Bobby took the sight of Buck in, and noted that he looked…disheveled. He was flushed, and looked kind of sweaty in athletic shorts and a t-shirt. Like he was in the middle of a workout or something.
“Is your shirt inside out?” Bobby asked, noting the rough edges sticking off of the shoulders of Buck’s shirt.
“Oh.” Buck said. “Um, maybe. I was just…working out. In there, so. I just threw this on.”
“Alright.” Bobby said, curious as to exactly why Buck was so flustered. “Can I come in?”
“No!” Buck exclaimed, moving to block the door. “Sorry. It’s, um, a mess in there.”
Just then, a loud bang came from inside Buck’s apartment, like maybe something had fallen. Bobby could swear he heard a faint voice as well, covered up by the loud noise.
Buck looked alarmingly at the door, but then whipped his head back around to Bobby.
“Buck,” Bobby said carefully. “Do you have somebody in there? Am I interrupting something?”
Bobby wasn’t aware that Buck had been dating anyone, but all signs pointed to another occupant in the apartment.
“No.” Buck shook his head. “No, there’s nobody in there. But I, uh, should probably go check on that…noise.” He took the dish of macaroni from Bobby’s hands. “Thanks for the food.”
And then, Buck urgently disappeared back into his apartment, and Bobby could hear Buck say something. Unless Buck had suddenly picked up a habit of talking to himself, there was definitely someone else in the loft.
So why did he lie about it?
Bobby’s concern only grew deeper.
--
After a particularly good shift, the A shift decided they would meet up at the bar after work. By some kind of miracle, everyone has time after work, so Bobby was sitting in a booth with Chimney, Hen, Ravi, Buck, and Eddie.
Everyone was in a great mood, which put Bobby in a great mood. They had a tough job, and it was rare when they could come off a shift with everyone feeling better than when they came in. The rare occasions it did happen, Bobby relished in the happiness of his crew. In those moments, he got to feel like he had done right by his people.
Hen, Chimney, and Ravi were fairly drunk, laughing about one thing or another, but Bobby couldn’t help but notice that Buck had spent the last fifteen minutes glued to his phone, occasionally typing.
Granted, Buck wasn’t the only one. Eddie had been scrolling through his phone as well, but was somehow less obvious about it. Eddie was still engaged in conversation. It was almost like Buck was on a whole other planet.
Finally, Buck put down his phone, but only for a moment before making an announcement.
“I’m, uh, gonna head to the bathroom.” Buck said, getting up from his seat and walking away.
Bobby was about to ask Eddie if he had any idea what had been up with Buck lately, but Eddie’s phone rang before he got the chance.
“Sorry, I have to take this.” Eddie said. “It’s Carla.”
Eddie got up and walked off, and so Bobby was left with three giggly drunks to voice his concerns to.
“Have you guys noticed that Buck has been acting weird lately?” Bobby asked.
“Cap,” Chimney laughed. “Buck has been acting weird since the day we met him.”
“I’m serious.” Bobby insisted. “You haven’t noticed that he’s been…distant? Distracted?”
“I wish Buck would be more distracted.” Ravi said. “Maybe then he’d stop bossing me around so much.”
“I’m just saying, the last time he was acting like this was—” Bobby cut himself off, remembering everything Buck used to do when he was a self-diagnosed sex addict. Show up late, disappear into thin air, tell obvious lies, absorb himself in his phone.
All of the things he had been doing of late.
Had Buck been struggling again and not said anything? It would explain why he lied about having someone in his apartment, probably some stranger he had met on the internet.
Bobby was lost in thought, tuning out the other three at the table as he tried to wrap his brain around exactly when Buck had relapsed in his sex addiction.
“Bobby, you good?” Eddie’s voice brought him back to reality as Eddie slid back into the booth.
“Oh—” Bobby said. “Yes. Everything okay with Carla?”
“Everything’s great.” Eddie smiled.
A moment later, Buck showed up back at the booth, taking a seat next to Eddie.
“You okay?” Bobby asked pointedly. “You were gone a long time.”
“Oh,” Buck said. “Yeah. Uh, guess I ate something that didn’t agree with me.”
“Buck,” Eddie said. “That’s disgusting.”
“Oh really?” Buck asked. “I’m disgusting now?” It was teasing and light, and Buck didn’t seem sick at all.
It was a lie. Obviously. They had all eaten the same things that day, and everyone else was fine. He looked fine. He had snuck off to have sex, Bobby realized.
How had things gotten so bad without Bobby even noticing?
--
The next time Bobby noticed something off with Buck, they were actually at work.
They were on a call, a pile-up with not a lot of serious injuries but a lot of people that needed to be checked up on and kept away from the damage.
Bobby, Ravi, and Buck were focusing on getting the last victim out of their wrecked car using the jaws of life while Eddie, Chimney, and Hen took over triage.
Bobby was crouched down, making sure the victim was stable and ready before they started with the jaws.
“Alright, boys, go ahead.” Bobby said once he was certain everything was aligned just right. Except he didn’t hear anything happening.
“Uh, Buck?” Bobby heard Ravi say and looked up to see Buck entirely distracted from his job.
Buck wasn’t even looking at the victim, or the car in front of him. Instead, he was staring off in another direction. Specifically, Buck’s eyes were locked on a group of women who were being helped by Eddie.
Bobby was taken aback. He couldn’t seriously be thinking about sex right now, could he?
“Buck!” Bobby exclaimed, and Buck’s head whipped back around to the car. “What’re you looking at?”
“I—” Buck’s face went red. “Sorry, Cap.”
That was it, Bobby thought. The last straw. They needed to have a conversation about this. And it needed to happen as soon as possible. Before anything bad happened.
--
Bobby called Buck into his office at the end of the shift.
“Buck, I want you to know that this talk is the last thing I want to be doing right now.” Bobby started. “But as your captain, and as someone who loves you, I feel obligated to do so.”
“Uh,” Buck said, looking around the office anxiously. “Am I in trouble?”
“No.” Bobby replied. “You’re not in trouble, just take a seat.”
Buck sat down in the seat facing Bobby’s desk and didn’t say anything more. Bobby could see the stress on Buck’s face, taking a deep breath before saying anything.
“I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.”
“Okay.” Buck said, he cleared his throat and sat up straight in his chair.
“Have you been…” Bobby trailed off. “Buck, are you keeping secrets?”
“What?” Buck asked, alarmed. “Why would you ask that?”
“Buck, you just said you would be honest with me.” Bobby said. “You’ve been acting odd for a while now, and last time you were behaving like this—”
“Okay.” Buck cut Bobby off. “Yes. Obviously, there’s a secret, but I don’t see why you would be concerned about this. It’s my personal life.”
“I’m just worried about you going down this path again. Plus, it’s not your personal life when it impacts how you do your job, and—”
“You said I wasn’t in trouble.” Buck said.
“You’re not—” Bobby reiterated.
“Wait, Eddie’s not in trouble too, is he? Because I take full responsibly. If you’re mad at someone, be mad at me.”
“What—Eddie? Does Eddie know about this?” Bobby asked, puzzled.
“Of course Eddie knows about it, what kind of question is that?” Buck shot back.
And maybe they were nearly shouting at this point, because there was a knock on the office door.
“Hey, you guys okay in there?” Eddie asked from the other side of the door.
“Yeah,” Buck said back. “Actually, can you come in?”
Eddie quickly slid through the door, shutting it behind him.
“What’s up?” Eddie asked, hovering behind Buck’s chair.
“Buck, I don’t see why Eddie has to be a part of this conversation.” Bobby said pointedly. “Just because he knows—”
“I know what?” Eddie interrupted.
“Bobby has gone insane.” Buck deadpanned. “Also, he knows.”
“He knows?” Eddie asked, his eyes widening. “How?”
“Okay, fine.” Bobby sighed. “If you want Eddie to be here, that’s up to you. But we have to talk about why your so-called sex addiction has returned.”
Bobby was relieved to finally get the words out, but was only met with two sets of very confused eyes looking back at him.
“Uh,” Buck finally said. “Bobby. That’s not, uh. That’s not what this is.”
“So you haven’t been sneaking around because you’re hooking up with strangers again?” Bobby asked, skeptical. “You already admitted you had a secret, Buck. It’s okay. You don’t have to lie.”
“I’m not lying.” Buck said. “You’re just wrong. Eddie, help me out here.”
“No, no.” Eddie said, a strange, proud look spreading across his face. “I’m kind of liking this narrative. You know, in a way, you could say Bobby is right—”
“So, what is it?” Bobby asked, cutting Eddie off. “Are you addicted to sex or not, Buck? Because if you’re having that problem again, I’m going to have to insist that you go back to therapy—”
“I am not addicted to sex.” Buck said, then turned back to look at Eddie. “And you’re getting dangerously close to becoming celibate.”
“Sorry.” Eddie replied. And—oh.
“Wait a second.” Bobby said. “The secret is—you two. Eddie.” He sputtered out, trying to get his mouth to form a coherent sentence.
“Yes.” Buck said. “We’ve been sneaking around for a while now, I guess. That’s the secret.”
“I don’t know if I would call it sneaking around.” Eddie added. “We’re actually together. We were just waiting to tell people, for…actually, I don’t really know why.”
“Oh.” Bobby said, clearing his throat. “Okay. Um.” His eyes were darting between Buck and Eddie, back and forth and back and forth.
“We’re still not in trouble, right?” Buck asked. “On like, an HR front?”
“I—” Bobby thought about it for a second. “I’m not really sure. I’m not sure there’s an official rule on the books, since for the longest time there weren’t women firefighters, and the assumption was that two men wouldn’t…you know.”
“Wow.” Buck said. “That’s both sexist and heteronormative.”
“I will look into it.” Bobby said. “And I’ll do my best to make sure that nobody gets in trouble—myself included.”
“Thank you.” Eddie said. “I’m really sorry we weren’t more up front about it.”
“I will vouch that you two can work together, but there’s probably going to be some long meetings with HR.” Bobby explained.
“Whatever it takes.” Buck said, smiling, but then his smile dropped. “I can’t believe you thought I had a sex addiction again.”
“Again,” Eddie said, “I’m kind of loving that narrative.”
“Okay, that’s it.” Bobby rolled his eyes. “Get out of my office, both of you.”
Buck got up and Eddie opened the door before Bobby stopped them again.
“And I hate to do this, but if you could get the telling people thing sorted out in the next week or so—” Bobby said.
“On it.” Buck replied.
“We’ll tell Christopher tonight.” Eddie said. “We can tell everyone else after that.”
“Alright.” Bobby said. “Perfect. And boys? I’m very happy for you.”
“Thank you, Bobby.” Buck smiled at him. “Seriously.”“Okay, now get out.” Bobby said, smiling as he watched Buck and Eddie leave the room.
As Bobby opened the LAFD manual to the workplace relationship section, he felt a sense of peace settle over him. After seeing him with Eddie, Bobby knew he didn’t have to worry about Buck anymore.
He was going to be just fine.