Work Text:
I remind myself to stay silent while you carry me.
Those shaking arms try to grasp onto my thinning form harder, as though you think i would rather be anywhere other than right here.
Right here, where with every heaving breath you take,
tension seeps deeper into those overworked muscles that spasm underneath their thin cover of worn skin, pulled taut with strain and blemished over time.
Exhaustion clouds your thoughts, but i feel your grip tighten now and again as a reminder to yourself - a mantra fighting through this silence we both hate - just to keep your hold.
Through it all i can only picture the moment these arms let me down.
You have been walking our whole life.
The more you push yourself to tremble and grimace under my burden,
the more, i confess,
i see my future in your strain
(i don’t want it)
Maybe if i curl up,
settle myself deeper within your drooping arms,
(if we both ignore the potential in myself i pretend not to see)
if i make myself smaller,
i can be easier to carry.
Don’t drop me before I try,
you wouldn’t let yourself get up again.
If we do fall,
at least i will safely lay forever in your finally-stilled arms.