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Tweak rode his bike as fast as he could down the road.
He couldn’t believe what he saw. Well, he knew what he saw, but it was just so unbelievable. How could the president be in South Park? Why did he have to run into Tweek of all people? A couple of weeks ago, he had a discourse with the president, so he knew that the president knew his name. I mean, maybe he was just seeing things, but it seemed so real.
He had a date with Craig in about a minute. Which is why he was already riding down the street. The clouds above them suggested that it was gonna rain soon, but that never stopped them from going out before. They were gonna meet in front of Tweek’s parents' shop, get some coffee, then go to the park to hang out. Maybe- considering that it was raining- they wouldn’t have to worry about other kids being at the park.
Tweek honestly didn’t enjoy the thought of going out anymore. Maybe he could ask Craig if they could just chill in his room and watch a movie or something. A friendly movie. A good movie that wasn’t about aliens, like Craig had shown him last time.
He drove around the corner and saw Craig sitting on the bench outside. He was holding a coffee in his hands, which was steaming.
He drove faster and crashed into the side of the bench. Craig jumped at the impact, but stayed sitting. Tweek shot up, jumped on the bench next to Craig, and grabbed his shoulders tightly.
“Craig! Craig! I-I saw something!! He-he tried to get me!!” Tweek said as he started to pull at his own hair.
“Calm down, Tweek. I can’t understand you when you’re panicking like this. Take a deep breath and tell me what happened. Who is going to get you?” Craig sat down the cup of coffee he was holding and pulled Tweek’s hands out of his hair. He held them tightly in his own.
“The-The president!! He.. He asked m-me about.. Approval ratings? I don’t know!! He- He could’ve kidnapped me, or worse!!”
“The president?” Craig raised an eyebrow.
“Yes!!”
Craig took a deep breath. He silently picked up the coffee that he had sat down and placed it into Tweek’s hands.
“It was just your imagination, babe. Why would the president be in South Park?” Craig asked.
“B-Because he wants to get me!!” Tweek squealed.
“He doesn’t want to get you. He doesn’t care enough.”
“AGH! What if he tries to eat me?”
“Eat you? Why in the world would he try to eat you?”
“I don’t know!!”
Tweek squealed once again and started hyperventilating. Craig wasn’t sure what actually happened, but whatever it was, was making Tweek extremely anxious.
I mean, Tweek had almost been kidnapped before, but never by the president. Maybe it was just a stranger who happened to look like the president? Tweek had been very stressed about the government lately, considering the whole North Korea thing, but it didn’t seem likely that he would come here.
“Are you sure it wasn’t a stranger that looked like the president?” Craig placed a hand on his shoulder.
“It was the president!! AAGH! He had the orange face, the blue suit, the rectangle glasses, the-the.. Everything!” Tweek shook harder. “Please believe me, Craig! I-I know I’ve said some weird stuff, but this time it’s actually true!”
“The president isn’t here, Tweek.”
Tweek just screamed and looked back down at his coffee.
Craig looked and saw Kyle and Stan crossing the street.
He knew he was about to get pulled into something crazy.