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Sleepy Shitpost Shennanigans

Summary:

Three gremlins find a new home. Turns out it's not peace and quiet for Phil and Kristin anymore. Spoiler alert: beware sudden silence, the children crave chaos

Additional spoilers: Kristin also craves chaos, may God have mercy on Phil

Let the reckoning begin.

Notes:

We cannot in good conscience write any further chapters in light of the situation with Wilbur Soot. We stand with all of his victims and offer our support.

Work Text:

Tip tap tip tap

Bare little feet pattered on the floor, trying to sneak into Wilbur and Techno's room for some "shinies" (and anything they could get their hands on really). In this case, "they" was mostly referring to Tommy, the little raccoon needed more shinies for his collection and had dragged his friends into it. The house was quiet, so they also needed to be quiet as to not tip off Tommy's older brothers. Halfway into their devious mission, Tubbo let out a little bleat of nervousness, which Tommy violently shushed. Tubbo shushed back at Tommy, equally as loud- the only one who was doing a good job at "sneaking" was Ranboo, who walked normally as opposed to the other two between their "tiptoes" and "whispers". "Tubbo! You're gonna give us away!," Tommy whisper-yelled after there was another small bleat.

"I can't help it okay! I said we should just walk right in there, why do we have to sneak- I hate sneaking! It makes us look sus!," Tubbo loudly whispered back, making Ranboo sigh and shake his head. How Wilbur or Techno didn't hear them was astonishing....was either of them even in their room? Ranboo carefully eyed the door as the other two bickered in the background, pushing the door open to reveal.....no one. Tommy and Tubbo stood astounded behind Ranboo before hurriedly scrambling into the room, looking around for any "shinies".

Shiny. I want shiny.

Eyes glittering, Tommy slowly and stealthily crept over to a hiding spot under the bed- Techno's bed to be exact. He knew his older brother would have something in here, being part piglin and all, and he really hit the jackpot this time. Small hands opened the chest, mischievous grin widening at the contents.

Gapples. Stacks upon stacks of gapples.

Thieving hands quickly shoved them into a small backpack, a few falling out and rolling across the floor in his haste. He knew what he wanted, and by Prime he was gonna get it.

"Tommy? What are you doing?" Shit.

Wilbur stood in the doorway, his exit was blocked! And Wilbur was gonna tell Dadza for sure- and then they'd take away his gapples! Wilbur slowly walked closer and closer....no, he couldn't let that happen. He had to do what was necessary to succeed.

"Tommy, are you stealing- FUCK!" Tommy bit down on his exposed hand, hard. Wilbur stumbled, not expecting his feral kid brother to come bite him, and yanked his hand back. Tommy released his grip as Wilbur pulled his hand away, looking slightly pleased at the bite marks before skittering away with his treasure.

"DADZA-"

Oh boy.