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English
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Part 2 of Phantom/Bats , Part 5 of Batfam, Part 1 of Uncle John and his ghost kids
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Favorite Danny Phantom Fics
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Published:
2023-02-22
Completed:
2023-02-27
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3,175
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6/6
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124
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Good ol' Uncle John and his ghost nieces and nephews

Summary:

John Constantine is Uncle to 4 kids, maybe more. He just wants a smoke and a drink. They just keep causing Chaos. Once they sent the house to the Ghost Realms. That made him late for work. Not fun.

Dedicated to Carelisswriting. <3!

Find me on tumblr: @the-ghost-light-and-the-book

Notes:

Chapter 1: Kids, don't eat our guest. Even if they are a furry.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

John Constantine didn’t know how he ended up as a father of four-sorry three eldritch abominations, but here he is making breakfast for the four kids, even if two of them are adults. He did know that he was biologically related to them, by his half-sister Maddie. It happened when the kids catapulted them into the House of Mystery. They were doing a spell to get them to the safest blood-related adult, and Jazz then remembered when she was 4, him. 

 

Currently, he was trying to get two very clingy ghost children off of him, so he could go to work. All three look different degrees of remorseful, as they were... aware of the Watchtower. Constantine then reminded them of their duties to the infinite realms, and they all let go.

 

He had to go deal with a mess that he suspects they made in New York and not in England. He later learned after he was in New York, dealing with the Titans and their confusion, that they made a mess in Star City, and decided not to because... who likes Green Arrow? 

 

When John got home, he saw 13 different spells triggered, three piles of ectoplasm, and Batarangs scattered throughout the room. If he didn't know his "kids" at all, he'd say that they had a misunderstanding and the Bat now wants to adopt them.

 

It's more likely for Zatanna to stop speaking backward for her spells. It's more likely that Jazz would take home her date from the Iceberg Lounge and introduce them. So, the most likely thing that the kids did to a Bat is to eat him. Great. That's fun. Ah, kids.

 

The annoying little bastards, are always quick to use sarcasm at you and slap you with very true insults(Sad Trenchcoat Uncle). Which is why John never wanted any. Yet here he was. Uncle to three eldritch ones and one psychotic psychologist. Fun.   

 

"Spit him out. I don't care what he did. Spit him out. Now,”he said in the disappointed voice that he used when Danny keeps telling him that he was collecting all his soul contracts, "So. Out with it, then".

 

Danny spits his coworker's kids out, the one with the sword, and the one that looks so sleep-deprived that John's convinced he sold his soul for energy drinks. Ellie spits out chewed-up Batarangs and a computer, the one that Ms. Gordon uses. Dan... spits out Batman himself. John sighs and helps his co-worker up, proceeds to grounds the three, so they have to do the royal work that he keeps telling them to do.

Notes:

I didn't know how to write this in the chapter so here is why they ate the Bats:

Dan groaned as he saw his siblings arguing over what their ceremony was. The ghosts didn't hear the swish of magic going off as his siblings started to fire their ectoblasts at each other. Batman, Red Robin, and Robin threw their batarangs and stood surprised as the batarangs passed through and as the three proceeded to try and open the ghost portals(three ectoplasm goop piles). That then triggered 5 spells to try and keep the house on Earth, not in Hell or the Infinite Realms. Other spells were triggered as the three opened their mouths to eat the evidence. Most of the spells were to make sure the house stayed in one piece and for the food not to become sentient and bite( Constantine learned the hard way).

Why were the bats there? To try and create magic & magic-related technology alongside Oracle.

Find me on tumblr: @the-ghost-light-and-the-book

Chapter 2: My kids are getting crowned. Ok.

Summary:

His kid's coronation was a big deal, John realized. Whelp. Big Oops.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Constantine was trying so hard not to pass out. His kids decided to inform him of their coronation on him. All four. Including his most "passive" child(Jazz). And then they vomited piles of ecto-goop. He had to clean up the goop because they fainted on a couch. Fun. And he had to mark it and put it through a filter and send it to Frostbite. So, no sleep for John.

Now, due to his children's last-minute declaration, he was trying his hardest not to pass out at the meeting table. Fun. Zatanna then stood up, and said, "The underworld has been... shifting for the past days. There have been talks of something mystic, ancient, and world ending, coming around and I and the other Members of Dark have no clue-John? You have something to share about this?". Constantine groans, and declares, "Well, technically yes. I-" he stops to sigh again, "- I know about the whole death shit." He mutters out, unfolding himself from his chair and standing.

" And?", Batman asks, "What do you know, Constantine?". The Bat had never seen him this tired. Constantine's tired seemed more so than the gymnastics mom of 8+ kids that Dick taught. "The Ghost King and his siblings are ascending to the throne. He turned 18, and they're finally getting their titles", he says, a small amount of pride creeping into his voice. "Oh?", Zatanna says shocked, "Do you know them?". "Yes, the last person who they met was Batman and his kids. I apologize again for them eating you,” John voices apologetically, "My niece and nephews should know better".

 

The League blows up, with the Kryptonian and Amazonian taking charge. If it's a good thing, meaning the connection between the league and other species that they all would like to have diplomatic relations with. The league liked helping others and making allies, being a humanitarian society. "You guys can, uh... attend if you want." He says, watching the way the strong heroes turn to each other with shining looks. They have dazzling smiles with pearly whites that make you wanna hurl, coming from blinding positivity that practically blinded John. "Is there a dress code and what do we need to bring?", the Kryptonian asks. "They like space and weapons. Heck, I think my eldest who was Queen Regent likes psychology and she's bringing a plus one who’s Gotham's son, was revived, and's now The Red Knight. Think he is her consort.The second eldest likes weapons and shit. The one who's getting crowned King likes space, and the youngest likes traveling.”

 

The meeting continues, and he zones out, instead letting his eyes stick to the ceiling with a small tilt of his head. If anything, he probably looks bored. The perfect position to take a little mental goodbye. Everything's gone pear-shaped. Fun. The invites go into mortal mail in a week. Fun and not stress inducing at all.

Notes:

League: What do you have there?
John: My Kids.
[said kids: Eldritch Royalty]
(Bluescreen)

Find me on tumblr: @the-ghost-light-and-the-book

Chapter 3: Uncle John is No Longer Sad Trenchcoat Uncle

Summary:

Trenchcoat is gone! Constantine's pretty sure that they didn't need to give him ghost clothes, but it's the thought that counts.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

John groaned as Danny and Ellie(Dani) had taken his "sad trenchcoat". The kids apparently, thought it smelled like garbage. It probably did, but he sees no reason for him to get new clothes. He could just wear a three-piece, but no they had taken that too. How headache-inducing. How does Batman even deal with all the kids that follow behind him? God, he probably leaves them to Alfred, the poor man. In the Queen's name, why would they do this?

Turns out there are a lot of difficulties with the whole formal wear thing. Because Maddie and Jack are dead(and didn't treat their kids well), he and Pandora are considered the King's Mother and Father. That means that they have to get new clothes that befit their titles. Great, just this is a bonker situation, he thinks as he's getting fitted. They give him plenty of options, but he has to wear the metal-like cape, signifying that he is the Royal Father. They finally decide on a sort of flowy white shirt with a looser version of harem pants and the cape. Constantine's lucky. He has the lightest out of all of them. 

According to Jazz, she has the second lightest, with a crown of thorns and a black veil so thick you can only see her turquoise eyes. Her dress is very slim, yet heavy because it's made out of ghost metal and she has dark-colored jewelry with turquoise jewels all over her body. She is wearing a cape similar to his, with hers with less metal. Her ghost form makes her skin this sort of green peach. His second, Dan is wearing something similar with more armor and tighter pants. The green, the color of their house is spread all over his armor, with swirls and a sash around the waist. Ellie is wearing armor. Battle armor. Why? It’s because she's Danny's fright knight, the commander of his troops. Her armor includes a black breastplate and high boots, and she has on these metallic leggings that look like black iron. Her jewelry is set to match Jazz's jewelry. Instead of a turquoise jewel inset, she has a toxic green. There's a belt set around her waist, carrying her sword. The sword's fragile and probably looks like it will break, but it's made with ghost metal, so it won’t. Danny however is wearing similar armor to Ellie's but has a large cape, decorated with constellations, with the top of the cape being decorated with snowflakes. The armor connects to pieces of leather the toxic green of his eyes. His pants are similar to Dan's with the same sash.

 

God, he’s proud and he knows that they feel it too. Ellie sighs and sarcastically goes, “You’re so sappy, ew”. She loves him too, he knows.

Notes:

Constantine: Closet emptied, no note, no warning, and certainly no smokes!
Kids: Worth it
Jazz: You no longer look depressed
_________________
Note: I made a sort of side story instead of Chptr 4.

Find me on tumblr: @the-ghost-light-and-the-book

Chapter 4: Four-Way Thinking(Oh My God You Guys!)

Summary:

Yes, I did steal this from Legally Blond The Musical(and the 4-way phone call from Mean Girls(Movie)).
_________________________________________
Confruntations are issues. Luckily, he doesn't have that issue, or does he? (Connor)

Jazz doesn't have issues. Her boyfriend does, and hasn't told her anything about his "influential family".

Danny is excited about being betrothed to his best friends. Said best friends are so cute(only to him. Everyone else thinks they're dorks.)

Zatanna is not surprised at all that John has kids. She is surprised that they're royalty from another dimension. You know. Normal things. Not surprised that they're dead/revived(?).

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Conner had met a girl. In real life. Like a human being, not a clone or a weapon of destruction. She'd revealed to him that she too was a clone, they went on a couple of dates, and now she told him that she needed a plus one. The same day he had to go to the Infinite Realms. The very same day, she asked him to be her plus one, and she explained what she was.

 

"So, you know how I'm a clone? Well, I'm a clone of Phantom. I need a plus one. Also, I know you're Superboy,” Elle said. Connor was shocked and went to his League Communicator. Turns out, he could go as her plus one, although the communicator blew up with requests trying to see her. Constantine typed that she is one of his kids and that they should be prepared to receive a giant pirate ship? Oh well. Everything is fine, and he has Elle. 

Danny was worried about his "technical" wedding. With him assuming the throne, his partners would also. They'd get their towers, with their rooms next to his as his consorts, both holding the title of Queen. They're both holding positions in his court already, with Sam and Overgrowth, and Tuck and the Pharaohs of Egypt(Ghost Egypt).

His core practically screamed for joy, when he thought about those two being his. Officially they'd be his, but they'd move into the castle with him and his family. When they were betrothed officially, when he was announced to be Crown Prince, they loved every moment they spent with him.

Currently, they were doing ghost diplomacy so that when they ruled, they had connections. Currently, they had connections to Dora's Lair, The Acropolis of Athens, The Far Frozen, Ghost Writer's Manor, The Ghost School(Sidney Pointerdexter's Lair), and Overgrowth's Forest(which holds a small overgrown cabin). The Coronation was bringing allies and foes alike, perfect for ghosts. He was dying to get to this day.

Jazz was concerned for her partner to get to this day. He'd never stepped foot in the Realms, except the Far Frozen and Gotham’s Haunt. She was worried that he'd be overstimulated, what if he experienced a panic attack to the green of the Realms?

 

Her worrying set his core off, and he said, "Jazz, it's fine. I've been to the Far Frozen and Lady Gotham took me to her realm. It's fine”. She relaxed, hugged him, and responded, "Like you know what's fine and what's not. You ate chili dogs made with 'Lazarus Pit Water[an: read side story]' when I went away for a week to visit”. She was still worried though.

"John, I may have expected you to have children, but undead royalty ones?-Oh, thank you,”Zatanna spoke, thanking the young adult who said, "Welcome". Now, the white-haired ghost put a tea table down. Rather fancy, probably only brought out for guests.

"Is he one of your kids? I expected them to be supernatural, but not royalty”, she spoke. "Yes, and the only reason he's acting like that is so that you don't get a shite idea about him. He's the one who ate Batman. He's...different,” he said, "Not a bad thing, but the poor lad needs therapy, and the normal therapists don't feel comfortable".

"Why John? Why do you suddenly have kids?", she questioned. "Well, the kids summoned themselves to me, because one of them remembered me from when they were four.", he replied. He lit a cigarette, puffed a rather large cloud into her face, and said, "Just don't ask about their deaths.".   

Notes:

Find me on tumblr: @the-ghost-light-and-the-book

Chapter 5: Everything goes to Hell. Literally.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Jazz was tired. She had to deal with the big, bad, Bat. Who has issues, so many issues. Didn't help that he bugged her Gotham Apartment. Very invasive of him, paranoid bastard. Not only that, he was her father-in-law, whom he didn't know. So, she and Jason married after all, when she ruled as Queen Regent because she needed a consort and they were planning a future together.

 

As she was planning on meeting him as Batman, she wore a Red Hood-themed outfit, with a black collared shirt and a red blazer, with her crystalized ectoplasm hanging from a thin black piece of string. Her headband was the color of Jason's helmet. She must have looked pissed, as he drove out a patient from her office. "Hello, Dr. Nightingale. You-", he asked. Her only answer was to throw a "Self-help" pamphlet for Arkham Asylum.

"Danny, stop. Dan, no attacking diplomats. Ellie, don't light anything on fire or anyone. Uncle John, just don't. Just. Don't.", was her only response to the sorry lot in front of her. It was only 30 minutes till they got crowned and caused a huge commotion amongst the Realms.

 

The only thing that betrayed her words was the emotions her core was pulsing out, being happy, excited, and proud. Her face relaxed as she gave them a big hug. The ring of peace as it was called after it had been purified was split into two and given new metal, and the crown of love would probably be shifted over to a crown of ice as soon as she put it on Danny's head. Both Dan and Ellie would get circulets, just as beautiful as their cores.

The bell rang thrice, prompting her to float through the door in her full royal attire, the crown on her head, and the pillow bearing two rings.  Sam and Tucker drifted in, one using an artifact known as Halo to give her wings and the other with The Saqqara Bird pinned to his chest.

 

They stood in front of Jazz, as Danny floated in, with a cloak made of galaxies and stars. He bowed before her, as she took off her crown and put it on his head. The crown shifted, so instead of looking like love, sharp yet soft, it looked more like icicles, sharp and dangerous.

 

"Do you, Daniel Nightingale take Tucker Foley and Samantha Ida Manson as your consorts? And do you Tucker Foley and Samantha Ida Manson take Daniel Nightingale as someone your core longs for?", Jazz announced. "We do", the three announced, slipping on the rings of peace. 

 

Dan and Dani floated in, and both them and Jazz bowed before Danny. "Do you, Jasmine Nightingale wish to become the Lady of Death?". "I accept", she answered as Danny placed the crown of thorns upon her head.

 

The crown contained the Gem of Life from the Reality Gauntlet. "Do you, Dan Phantom pledge to help the Realms, and become the Knight of Dreams?" "I do", he pledged as the circlet held the Gem of Form was set upon his head. "Do you, Danielle Phantom pledge to help the Realms, and become the Knight of Fantasy?" "I do", she promised as the diadem with the Gem of Fantasy was placed onto her head. 

 

"By all the Realms, praise the Royal Family! Long Rule the Royals! Long Rule the Royals! Long Rule the Royals!", the citizens cried. 

As the Royals approached the gift table, someone was tied up there. It was the Joker, hogtied and hung upside down like a pinata. Jazz took one look at him and summoned her Creep Stick, hitting him right in the face.

 

All hell broke loose, as many ghosts wanted a whack at him. Other gifts that were brought included swords, travel tickets and spells to their realms, and stars. As in literal stars, collected in a bottle. Others gave rare plants and ghost spices from their realms. Fabrics were brought, shiny as metal and soft as talc, hard as metal but furry as a bear.

 

Jazz could see out of the corner of her eye, Zatanna talking to John, Conner(who she met when Ellie was traveling), and Ellie smiling, Danny talking to the Martian Manhunter while Tuck and Sam tried to calm him down. Jason was behind her, and she felt his core pulsing, she always could. She could probably pick his core's emotion out of a crowd. She laughed, as he had to do a costume change because he arrived as Red Hood and once he entered the Realm shifted into his armor. He took her to the floor, as other couples were dancing, and thought that the night was perfect.  

Notes:

Don't feel like writing an endnote, but here:
Jazz: My turn!
[bashes the Joker's skull in]
Jason: ‘She’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won
(Henry VI Part 1 – Act 5, Scene 2)'

Find me on tumblr: @the-ghost-light-and-the-book

Chapter 6: Aftermath

Summary:

The League isn't sure of what just happened. Neither does Jason or Kon-El, for that matter. Constantine was also confused, even though he had the most context.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Are you sure this will work?", Diana began to ask. "Positive. This is reinforced with other spells. I do think however that some other League members have invites from other people", Zatanna said.

 

Diana was slightly worried, and as she anticipated the portal spell, the League fell through, leaving them at the hall. John sat there near the altar as he and the four armed ghost woman were preparing. She and him were using spells, Zatanna could tell. Protective ones, meant to stop fights and keep ill willed intentions out.

 

The bell rang 3 times and a red-headed woman floated in, her face masked by a large veil, topped with the Crown. She bore a peaceful aura, bearing two rings. The procession had begun, as 5 people floated in.

God, Zatanna looked just as shocked as Batman must have felt. There, after the ceremony, he saw Kon-El and Dame Danielle talking and his own child with Lady Jasmine. Her shock mostly came from Constantine freaking out about his kid’s trauma of clowns and how they were each given a get out of jail card.

Constantine was in a panic. His nieces and nephews were… interesting. Dan was with him, surveying the people and ghosts, but Danny was just excited about space themed gifts, especially when he approached the gift table.

 

There was a bottle of stars there, from Orion to Cassiopeia. His eldest niece was dancing a waltz in air with her consort, while Ellie decided to flirt with Conner Kent. It wasn’t a disaster this night, nor would it be the next. However, he plans on waking up with a massive hangover, as he downed his 2nd pint of Devon Cider. 

Jason didn’t remember the night before, however he and other hero’s were getting called in, in accordance to who went to the coronation. The first discussion however was why he was even there. He just told them that because he was dead, he was required to be there. The talks faded out, however, it appears that Gotham was streamed the beating of the Joker.

 

However, a neon post-it drifted down from the ceiling, the same color as ectoplasm. Jason groaned and took the zeta. Apparently, his wife claimed the Joker’s soul and and took his leg bones and his vocal cords as a wedding gift for him, stuck in preserving fluid. His ashes were mixed with confetti and set into Gotham.

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed the fic as much as I hated writing it(Jk, just had writer's block)!
Find me on tumblr: @the-ghost-light-and-the-book