Chapter Text
Sebastian wondered just how many failed letters he had written that summer, as another found its way to the floor, crumpled. There were never enough words to say, never the right way to articulate them, never the nerve to share them.
How could he? How could he possibly describe the immensity of the regret he felt? Sebastian barely could even understand it himself, never mind expecting another human being to.
His hand rested upon his now-stubbled cheek, watching the ink on the quill run dry. Taking care of his appearance had become an act of the past of late. Most days, his hair fell tousled and unkempt and his eyes had grown more sunken from restless nights. It didn’t bother him to make an effort - the only other person around was Ominis and he was scarcely in his company as it was.
The two had no place to go that summer. Ominis would rather choke on his own blood than return to his family, yet Sebastian would do that and more to return to his. After the events that had transpired in the catacomb, he would no longer be welcome at Feldcroft. It was part of the agreement that you had suggested for the Sallows. Sebastian would be forced to stay away from his beloved sister and his childhood home, in exchange for his freedom and his life. It didn’t seem like much to a broken man, but he owed it to you to reluctantly accept.
One of the many acts - what also seemed like the last - of kindness you did was privately inform Professor Weasley that both Slytherin boys were in need of refuge. Against the knowledge and wishes of other professors, she had arranged for Sebastian and Ominis to remain in the castle for those gruelling 6 weeks of quiet. He was grateful, to be sure, it was certainly more than he deserved. But when the chatter of the halls ceased and he was left to stew in his own thoughts, he wished for the sweet release of physical torture instead. Hell, it’d be more entertaining than this.
That was not to say he had no distraction. This was Hogwarts, exploration was prime here - particularly with no restrictions now everyone had vanished. One night, he had been wandering aimlessly around when he’d witnessed ghosts dressed in their evening gowns and jewels, dancing as though life never left them. You’d have loved it. It was a spectacle, and often made him ponder on their own upcoming ball. The last one. He’d been so driven on finding a cure for Anne, that a teenage necessity such as a dance seemed to pass him by.
Now he had all the time in the world to focus.
Problem was, he just didn’t want to.
What good would a dance be now anyway? he thought. It wasn’t as though he could celebrate with his friends, as those ghosts did. No sister, no lifelong friend, no… you. Those connections had been destroyed quicker than you had repelled that curse. Something that replayed on his mind every single day, as if the memory itself were cursed.
Knock.
The firm tap broke him free of his thoughts, the cool breeze from the crooked window now hitting his face.
“Come in.” Sebastian called out, turning to face the door.
Ominis approached and stood in the doorway, his wand still illuminating his way. “I see you’re still awake”
“Astute observation, Ominis. I see you are too”
Dry commentary and sarcasm was commonplace between the two young men yet now it felt unfamiliar. Ominis, understandably irked by Sebastian’s presence, responded “I just came to warn you regarding tomorrow”
Tomorrow.
The day he’d hoped for yet simultaneously dreaded.
Once again would the corridors be lively and bustling with wizards of young and old, the portraits gossiping, unsactioned spells firing and early detentions awarded. There would be yet another sorting ceremony, yet another half-baked speech from the headmaster, yet another feast and life would go on.
How could his life go on? What purpose did he have? Merlin, his oldest bloody friend stood before him with an air of caution and uncertainty now! Things would never be the same.
All he could do was nod in response until Ominis cleared his throat, expecting a verbal response.
“You needn’t warn me. I’m fully prepared for whatever tomorrow brings”
Ominis scoffed “That’s a bare-faced lie Sallow, and you know it”
He found his way into Sebastian’s temporary room and sat himself on the edge of the bed. Sebastian was a little taken aback, if truth be told. When was the last time they were this close?
He let out a content sigh as he shifted to get comfortable “Remind me again why you chose this area of the castle to be your new home?”
Sebastian frowned a little “Bit of an odd question, don’t you think?”
“We can either dicuss your new surroundings or discuss her return. Your choice entirely”
A weak move there, Sebastian thought, narrowing his eyes. “The air is cooler up here and I have a perfect view of the Quidditch pitch”
“Oh?” Ominis questioned “Not participating this year, then?”
“Black won’t bring back Quidditch now. Even if it is our seventh year”
A faint smile flashed across his face “Stranger things have happened”
What was wrong with him? Why was he sitting here so nonchalantly, making small talk as though nothing had happened? He swore he could feel his throat close up as he repressed the urge to scream his questions aloud. Whatever this was, it was positive and Merlin forbid Sebastian ruin another thing in his life.
With no response yet again, Ominis groaned.
“Sebastian, this is hard for me to do. You understand this, don’t you?”
“I… yes”
“I still don’t forgive what you have done and I’m still infuriated by the way you handled things”
Solemnly, Sebastian replied “I understand”
“But…” he exhaled “as you say, this is our seventh year. We’ve spent these last few weeks wandering alone in silence and it has been pure hell. I don’t wish to continue this way”
Sebastian’s heart pounded rapidly, as if just brought back to life. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I wish for us to end this journey as we started it. Together.”
Tears welled in his eyes. He genuinely believed he had lost everyone for good. Now here Ominis was, beginning to repair the void in his heart.
“That’s not to say we will be friends like we once were before…” He was still cautious, and understandably so.
Not wanting to pass the opportunity up, Sebastian rose to his feet. “But we can try”
The smile from before re-appeared on his friends face, as he nodded “We can try”
For a fleeting moment, one stood and one sat together. It was the first time in a long time either one of them had felt true peace. Sebastian cleared his throat as he walked over to the stocked cabinet. “Care for a drink? Whoever lived in here before left a decent amount of Firewhiskey”
Now it was Ominis’ turn to be surprised “I didn’t realise you partake”
“It’s been a way to pass the time. Besides, I am almost 18 now.”
“…No, thank you”
Sebastian poured himself half a glass as he sat back down at his desk, trodding on the screwed up papers as he stepped. Truthfully, he was glad Ominis couldn’t witness the state the place had became. Back in their common room, if Sebastian had done something as simple as leave a glass unattended, he surely would be skinned alive. Now, he lived in an upgrade from squalor. Yet now, he imagined he would have an idea.
“Any reason you’ve decided to litter your room? Or was that just to annoy me?”
“One way to get you to come running back to me” he jested, then quickly changed his tone “I kid”
“I know” he softly replied.
“Anyway… they’re letters. Failed ones.”
Ominis had a look on his face, one resembling that of sympathy. As if he were a Legilimens and instantly knew everything he’d wrote and felt. It wasn’t that hard to guess, regardless. Since that day, he’d ranted and raved to his friend about how he was just protecting his sister, that he didn’t mean the harm, that he just wanted Anne to forgive him. It was when you left that he stopped ranting, stopped justifying, stopped trying altogether.
“You can tell her yourself tomorrow, you know”
“That’s if she even comes back”
He took a shot of whiskey to accompany that fear. Why he dreaded the morning to come most of all. Sure, you’re here and it’s agony, but it’s worse if you’re not at all. If he doesn’t get the chance to look at you again, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He looks over at Ominis, for pain-stakingly long, wanting to ask.
“No” he sensed, rising to his feet now “I haven’t spoken to her. But I believe she will return”
“Why? What reason would she have?”
“Aside from completing the school year, I’d say you’re not the only one who has demons they need to rid themself of. Seems to me this magical institute is the best remedy for that.”
Sebastian pondered on his words as he left. If anything, she would want closure. Maybe, just maybe, she’d return for that and that alone. Maybe he could, just for a second, feel hopeful about you once again.