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Chapter Text

“You're sailing from another world, sinking in my sea

Oh, you're feeding on my energy”

Wolves Without Teeth - Of Monsters and Men

🐉

Shen Yuan had died once. And now, he's about to die again.  

[You are not dying.]

Yet, Shen Yuan counters. But I will die soon without energy, won’t I?

The system goes suspiciously quiet, with no good answer to that. Useless system! How can Shen Yuan trust it? It never helps him with anything, it just likes to order him around. Save that town, make it rain there, make it snow here, yadda yadda. Is Shen Yuan just its slave?

When he first transmigrated, more than a decade ago, the system said that if he completed the missions and collected ten thousand points, he could go back to his previous life. What a lie! No matter how many tasks Shen Yuan does, he never gets enough points. Even when he does something terribly difficult, like when he had to stop an actual tornado, he only gets 10 points at best.

If the system was trustworthy, would Shen Yuan still be in this world? And more, would be he dying?

That's right, the body into which Shen Yuan transmigrated is dying. Initially, Shen Yuan thought he was pretty lucky. He had transmigrated as a dragon spirit. How cool is that? He was known as Qingqiu, the green dragon. In this world, where animal spirits and demons are not uncommon, dragon spirits are seen as divine. Common people saw Qingqiu as a god. He was respected and feared. He was powerful. But he was also cursed. 

Dragons don't have long to live. Compared to other immortals, their lives are very brief, having a life expectancy of twenty years at most. There is a twist, though. Being powerful spirits, they can forcefully extend their lifetimes with a technique: consuming the energy of other people.

Dragons have a constitution with excessive yin energy, which grants them a power of the purest type and allows them to control wind and water, but also slowly consumes their lives. In order to survive, they need to absorb yang energy to stabilize their qi.

When Shen Yuan transmigrated into the green dragon’s body, it still had plenty of energy stored. The original owner of the body had managed to live for a hundred years by draining human’s yang energy. But the consumed energy could only last so long and was starting to fade off. Shen Yuan was already feeling the signs of it. The only solution would be to absorb someone's energy, inevitably causing their death.

But there's no way Shen Yuan is doing that! How could dragons be considered divine beings if they have to kill to survive? That is completely despicable. Also, he wasn't quite sure how the whole "consuming" thing happens, but he can't imagine himself eating a person. How disgusting. He is a vegetarian!

Instead, Shen Yuan decided to take a break from his dragon duties. Fuck them missions! What does it matter if he is going to die soon anyway? He is tired of going from town to town, acting like a benevolent wandering god. Even gods need some rest, and Shen Yuan is not even a real god to begin with. Maybe the reason the original owner bailed this universe was that he was tired of it as well. Understandable, but don't go throwing your job to someone else! 

To enjoy his pre-death vacation, Shen Yuan settles in an isolated bamboo forest. His subordinate, Zhuzhi Lang, finds an abandoned courtyard and reforms it in no time for them to reside temporarily. It is not very big, but there is a bedroom for Shen Yuan, one for Zhuzhi Lang – though his servant prefers to use his original form, a snake, to sleep in the trees –, a kitchen in a separate building and a garden.

But the most important thing is that the place is peaceful and quiet. The closest nearby town is a considerable distance away, and Shen Yuan was careful not to let anyone know of his presence. If the common people knew a divine dragon was there, they would come swarming like flies, asking him to do all kinds of things as though he can perform miracles, which is what happens every time he visits a town. This time, he moves unconsciously. Shen Yuan spends nine days in blissful peace. Then, on the ninth day, his luck seems to end.

"My lord, there is an… offering to you."

Shen Yuan, who was in the garden, sitting by the pond while he read a book, is taken away from his sweet lazy time.

“Who? Why?" Shen Yuan groans, opening his fan to wave it at himself, needing some air after this bothersome news. "I thought no one knew I was here!"

Shit, here goes his vacation. A dying man can't even spend his sick days in peace. If someone gave him an offering, it means they want something in return. Make the crops grow faster, cure a disease, grant them children… always the same fucking thing. Not that Shen Yuan can do all this stuff. This body's power is limited, after all. He controls natural elements . He can’t give anyone children!

But either way, there would be work to do, that's for sure. 

"Send it away," Shen Yuan says decisively, waving his fan at Zhuzhi Lang. "Tell them that I'm not on duty. I won't be accepting anything nor doing anything."

"I've tried that, but…” Zhuzhi Lang looks back at him with a constrained expression. “It's an unusual offering."

"Don't care, don't want it," Shen Yuan dismisses.

Dragons are known to be greedy creatures, incapable of refusing riches, specifically gold. But Shen Yuan doesn't really care about that. The original owner, true to his dragon’s heart, liked to add shiny things to his loot, Shen Yuan has a hidden cave full of riches already. He is pretty sure nothing anyone can offer could move him.

"It's a human sacrifice,” Zhuzhi Lang says.

A what?!

"Someone sent a living person?" Shen Yuan asks in shock. Then, he stiffens when a thought occurs to him. "Oh no, please tell me they are a living person. They're not dead already, right?"

"He is alive, my lord."

Ok, that’s less bad, at least he wouldn’t have to be accidentally responsible for someone’s death. But why in the hell why would someone just send a human to die? He didn't ask for this! 

Shen Yuan gestures to Zhuzhi Lang. "Just tell this person that they are free to go."

"I did already, but the man is very adamant about seeing you," Zhuzhi Lang says in an apologetic tone.

How troublesome. Now Shen Yuan can't just ignore the situation like he wished to.

"Fine. I guess I'll have to deal with it myself," Shen Yuan says with reluctance. "Tell him to come in."

Zhuzhi Lang bows and takes his leave to obey the command. With a groan, Shen Yuan tries to make himself more presentable, sitting up straight on the stony chair and arranging his green robes around him. He must look a bit disheveled and not all god-like, but that's good, maybe disappointment in his looks will make the human go away faster.

All Shen Yuan wants is to get this over with so he can go back to his books. That is why, when the human enters the courtyard, Shen Yuan raises his head with disinterest. But when he looks at the man, he immediately becomes more interested.

Shen Yuan doesn't know what he was expecting, maybe a weak scrawny human that wouldn’t defend themselves and got unlucky to be sent there, but what he was not expecting was to see a handsome, tall man with dark curly hair and black robes rimmed with red. He is the opposite of weak and scrawny. The man looks strong and definitely not like someone who would be forced to become dragon's food. 

It’s what Shen Yuan thinks, before the man falls to his knees in front of Shen Yuan.

"My respects to the green dragon," the man says reverently with his head down, as if not daring to look at him. "This humble one came to offer you my life, master."

Damn, is this guy serious? Trying to hide his surprise, Shen Yuan clears his throat.

"No need for all that. You may stand," he says, avoiding the urge to add a please.

Muttering his thanks, the man rises to his feet. When lifts his head to look at Shen Yuan, their eyes meet. The man's eyes go wide, like two dark orbs full of stars, seeming to sparkle with pure adoration. The gaze is so intense Shen Yuan feels the urge to look away, but he has to maintain his image, so instead he lifts his chin confidently.

"Tell me, what makes you think I'd be interested in taking your life?" Shen Yuan fans himself, trying to pass off an impression of a bored, distant deity. "You are just disturbing my rest. Please leave."

Unexpectedly, instead of being happy because he won’t have to die, the man's face contorts. His eyes become full of tears, to the point Shen Yuan can see it at a distance. Despite his size, the expression makes him look like a pitiful child.

"Is this one's life not to your liking?" he asks, forlorn. "I know it's worthless, but that's everything I have to offer."

Troubled by the sudden tears, Shen Yuan closes his fan with a snap. He didn't say this human's life is worthless! Geez, what is he crying about?

"No, that's not it. Your life is worthy, very worthy!" Shen Yuan corrects frantically. "I just don't have any need for a sacrifice. You can go back to your family."

The man bats his eyelashes slowly and Shen Yuan can see teardrops clinging to them.

"I have no family."

Helpless, Shen Yuan tries to fix his mistake. "To your home, then."

"There's no place I can call home."

Aah, it only gets worse! An orphan without home. Did the people from his village kick him away? Was he ostracized and that's why he was chosen to become a sacrifice? Just from imagining it, every possibility is too sad!

Touched by his own theories of the situation, Shen Yuan softens his manner. "What is your name?" he asks more gently.

The tears disappear in an instant from the man’s eyes. He opens a tentative smile instead.

"Answering master, I am called Luo Binghe."

Shen Yuan tilts his head to the side. He observes Luo Binghe for a long moment, feeling a strange sense of familiarity coming off him… No, he must be mistaken. Shen Yuan would probably remember if he had met a guy like him before. You don't see someone this handsome every day.

Under his attention, Binghe's cheeks turn slightly red with a blush. How cute, he must be feeling  embarrassed to be stared at by a divine spirit. Barely does he know that Shen Yuan is actually just as human as him on the inside.

"Binghe," Shen Yuan starts carefully, taking his liberties to drop honorifics. "Were you forced to come here?"

Binghe becomes serious. His answer is firm. "No, it was my choice. I wanted to come."

"Why?" Shen Yuan blurts out in confusion.

Looking at him with an odd look that seems almost yearning, Luo Binghe answers. "I wished to see you. Once I sensed shiz–" Binghe pauses, pressing his lips together. "I mean, when I saw the green dragon flying over the bamboo forest, I thought I could finally have the honor of introducing myself to you. I've heard many tales about master Qinqiu."

So it was his own carelessness that got him found out. Believing that no one would see him, Shen Yuan had been flying around without a care in the world. He couldn't stop himself, the novelty of being able to fly never wears off, no matter how many years have passed since he transmigrated. It feels so incredible, like he is a pipe floating on the wind. The dragon body took some time to get used to. Hard green scales cover it, except on the places that have soft fur instead. The dragon’s body can be as big as a river or as small as a serpent, and he is the one who controls it. Once he learned how to control the body, he couldn't go a day without flying.

In retrospect, he should've been more careful.

"I see." Shen Yuan opens his fan once more to cover his face. "But you didn't have to offer yourself as a sacrifice."

"To me, it is no sacrifice. I want to give myself to you," Binghe declares with fervor, filled with intensity. "Please accept this humble one's offering."

Shen Yuan lifts his fan even more, letting only his green eyes visible. Behind the fan, his cheeks are burning hot.

This human is too intense! Does he want to die so badly? Doesn't he have anything to live for? Maybe that's it. He did say he has no family and no home. The poor thing must be missing a reason to live, and that is why he picked Qingqiu, moved by his divine status, to dedicate himself to.

"Don't you have anywhere you can go?" Shen Yuan asks softly.

Luo Binghe pauses. He seems to consider it for a moment, before silently shaking his head. 

Shen Yuan hums, helpless about what to do. If he sends Binghe away, the human will possibly be homeless. It would be very ungod-like to not help someone in need, especially when the person came all the way to his house. But he can't accept him as a sacrifice either. 

[New mission: Accept Luo Binghe's sacrifice. Reward: 10 points.]

No fucking way! The system, which was giving him a rest from the missions these past few days, came to annoy him again. I'm not going to eat him! , Shen Yuan mentally screams to the system.

[... we didn’t say you have to eat him.]

Does it count if I just let him stay here?, he asks.

[For now, yes.]

Shen Yuan is very suspicious of what that "for now" entails, but he needs any points he manages to get before this body expires, so he decides to deal with that later. Making his decision, Shen Yuan speaks.

"Well, Binghe, I really don't want a human sacrifice…"

Luo Binghe's face begins to fall.

"...but since you're already here, I could let you stay. No sacrifice needed," Shen Yuan continues. "At least temporarily."

He isn't sure if Luo Binghe heard the last part. The moment he says the word "stay", Luo Binghe opens a radiant smile as if he was given a priceless gift. He quickly bows down, forehead hitting the ground.

"Thanking master for his kindness."

Is he that happy to live with the creature that was supposed to eat him? This guy should be more careful! Shen Yuan did nothing more than allow him to stay with him, there is no reason for Binghe to be literally beaming. It is like someone pressed a switch in Binghe, lighting him up from the inside out.

"It's nothing. You're free to live here until you find somewhere else to go," Shen Yuan says. "You can stay in my subordinate's room, he barely uses it anyway. Zhuzhi!"

The moment Shen Yuan calls his name, Zhuzhi Lang appears in the garden. Thanks to his enhanced hearing, he's probably heard everything already.

"Would you mind it?" Shen Yuan asks him. "If needed, we can get another room made."

"This servant doesn't mind, my lord," Zhuzhi Lang responds politely.

"Great. Binghe, did you bring anything with you? Clothes and such?" he asks. Thinking about it, would Binghe bring luggage when he was about to sacrifice himself? Shen Yuan didn’t know the procedure for those things. "Tell me if you need anything and I will buy it for you."

"I have everything I need here." Luo Binghe grins meaningfully at Shen Yuan. "Master doesn't need to concern himself with me."

"The offer stands, anytime you need something just say it," Shen Yuan reaffirms. "You may go take a look at your room." 

He gestures in the direction of the chambers. It is very close to Shen Yuan's bedroom, although it is in a different building, distant enough to give them some privacy.

"Excuse me, master." Bowing one last time, Luo Binghe leaves the garden.

Zhuzhi Lang stays behind, scowling lightly. He looks at Shen Yuan with hesitance, as if waiting for permission to speak.

"What?" Shen Yuan asks directly. Alone with Zhuzhi, he allows himself to relax and be more unrestrained.

Even though Zhuzhi insists on being treated as a servant, Shen Yuan sees him more as a companion or a fellow animal spirit. He doesn't know all details about the back story between him and the original owner of the body, but it seems Zhuzhi Lang got bound to him after the original goods saved his life. Still, they were not that chummy, having a strictly servant/master relationship, so it's only natural Zhuzhi Lang treats him stiffly – or maybe that's just his personality.

"My lord, are you certain this man can be trusted?"

By his tone, it's evident Zhuzhi Lang doesn't think so. But Shen Yuan doesn't feel concerned. What Zhuzhi doesn't know is that Binghe is system-approved, not that he can't tell Zhuzhi Lang that. And, for some reason, he feels like he can trust Binghe. Something about the man, maybe the way he acts or the energy he emanates, puts Shen Yuan at ease.

"He means no harm," Shen Yuan assures. "Besides, what's to worry about a human?"

Even if a human tried to harm him, they wouldn't be able to. He might be weakened, but he was still a dragon. 

"That human is strange, my lord,” Zhuzhi Lang insists. “I can't sense his aura clearly, like it is being concealed." 

Shen Yuan dismisses the notion with a wave of his fan.

"There's nothing to worry about," he says, not giving it another thought. "Let him be, I trust Binghe won't do anything. And you, remember we are here to relax. I told you there's no need to attend to me. Go do your own thing, enjoy your free time. No need to concern yourself with me or with Binghe."

Zhuzhi Lang seems to want to argue further, but in the end he only nods and takes his leave.

After Shen Yuan gets alone, the system pops in to update the status of the mission. 

[Congratulations on completing the mission! Your reward of 10 points was collected. Current points accumulated: 6.340.]

Ha, what a joke. Now he only needs more 3.660 points – if his body doesn’t give out first.

The next day, Shen Yuan wakes up to a different smell. It takes some time for him to identify it: food. 

It's been so long since he ate that the smell became almost unfamiliar to him. Divine spirits don’t have to eat, having bodies that are maintained by qi, so neither he nor Zhuzhi Lang would have food at home. That is when he remembers they have a human guest now.

Shen Yuan gets up, puts on his robes, and ventures out of his room to find the source of the smell. In the center of the garden, there is a table and chairs beneath the trees' shade. An assortment of dishes is laid out on the table. Fresh fruits cut into cubes, colorful mung bean cakes and steaming zongzi . 

Isn't this too much for just one person? How did Luo Binghe even get all this food? He must have woken up early to go to the nearest city and also must've spent a good coin on it.

Luo Binghe walks into the garden holding Shen Yuan’s jade tea set and sets it on the table. Today, his abundant curls are tied up in a ponytail. It makes him look more youthful and cheerful, somehow. Noticing Shen Yuan's stare, Luo Binghe turns to him with a sunny smile.

"Master Qingqiu," he greets. "I've prepared this for you."

Shen Yuan is taken by surprise. He wasn't expecting Luo Binghe to offer him the food. Even though his body doesn’t need to, he could eat if he tried to, but it would just be for pleasure and not for need. As the only human between them, Luo Binghe should be the one eating.

"Binghe can eat by himself," Shen Yuan says. "This master doesn't need any food, it would be unfair to take your meal from you."

Luo Binghe's smile turns into a pout. "But I've cooked specially for master. Won't master at least accompany me?"

Shen Yuan glances again at the delectable food on the table. Binghe made all this by himself? He must have put in so much work… It would be inconsiderate to refuse his goodwill. Thinking of that, Shen Yuan walks to the table.

"I guess I can have some of it, then,” he concedes.

Visibly content, Luo Binghe smiles again. He pulls a chair for Shen Yuan, who, despite being flustered by the gesture, sits down. Shen Yuan picks a matcha green mung bean cake and takes a careful bite. It's been years since he last ate anything, so he is afraid he will find it weird to feel the taste of food. He didn't have to worry, though. 

The cake melts on his tongue with a pleasant sweetness. And Shen Yuan always had quite a sweet tooth. Gasping out loud, he eats it all in one bite and even licks his lips to feel the aftertaste. 

"This is delicious!" he tells Luo Binghe excitedly. 

Just then he realizes Binghe has been watching him attentively this whole time. His eyes are hazy, fixed on Shen Yuan's lips. Blinking rapidly, Binghe’s eyes travel up.

"I'm glad my cooking is to master's liking." Luo Binghe takes a zongzi, peels the bamboo leaf carefully and hands it open to Shen Yuan. "Try this one, master Qingqiu."

Shen Yuan takes the leaf from Binghe with both hands and opens the glutinous rice with chopsticks, seeing the mushrooms filling inside. Surprisingly, it is a vegetarian zongzi – and Shen Yuan's favorite, to boost. Coincidentally, Luo Binghe made exactly the dishes Shen Yuan likes the most. How lucky could he be! Back in his original world, Shen Yuan would eat mushroom zongzi every year on the day of the Dragon Boat Festival . Ah, it brings back memories. Shen Yuan takes a bite and closes his eyes in delight, letting out a small satisfied noise. So good! Binghe must have magical hands or something.

"Binghe is such a good cook," Shen Yuan compliments sincerely. "Everything tastes amazing."

Luo Binghe smiles with contentment, preening at the praise. 

"Master can eat as much as he likes,” he says. And just as Shen Yuan is thinking that it is not so bad to keep Binghe around, the man adds: "Would master like to eat me too?"

Shen Yuan chokes on the rice. He hurriedly holds the teacup and takes a sip of the drink to recuperate before answering. 

"I won't eat you!" he splutters.

"Does it look like I wouldn’t taste as good as my food?" Luo Binghe looks intently at him, a corner of his mouth curling up in a playful grin. 

This question is too absurd for Shen Yuan to comprehend. The whole situation is. Luo Binghe rests his head on a hand, propping his elbow on the table, which makes the sleeve of his black and red robes fall to his elbows. Shen Yuan takes on his handsome features, his curls up in a ponytail, the defined muscles in his arms. 

Shen Yuan shallows. He doesn't know about the taste, but Luo Binghe surely does look good.

"I already told you I don't need a sacrifice," Shen Yuan says plainly. "I will not take your life, Binghe."

Luo Binghe stares at him, unbothered. 

"My life is yours to take," he declares calmly.

Damn, why is this human so eager to be eaten? Shen Yuan doesn't even want a sacrifice, there is no need to try to shove it down his throat (literally).

"Your life is your own, Binghe. You keep it," Shen Yuan asserts. He taps the rim of his teacup. "Instead, I would accept more tea."

Luo Binghe immediately reaches for the kettle and pours him more tea. 

“It is a nice day,” Shen Yuan comments, trying to change the subject completely. And is not a lie, it is a sunny and warm day, with only a slight breeze swishing against the trees, making the bamboos creak. “I wish I could fly for a bit, but I don’t want to catch anyone’s attention.”

Although it was probably already too late for that. He wonders if any other humans, other than Luo Binghe, have already seen him. If they did, it’s just a matter of time until they come asking him for blessings. Seems like he won’t be able to stay here for as long as he wished to.

“Ah, it’s a shame,” he laments out loud. “I wished to see more of the area.”

"Has master visited the region before?" Luo Binghe asks, offering him the replenished teacup.

"Hm, yes.” Shen Yuan takes a sip from the tea. “I stayed a while in the city of Cang Qiong years ago. Do you know it?"

There is a twitch in Binghe’s lips. He opens his mouth, as if about to say something, but shuts it again. In the end, he simply nods, his expression inscrutable.

"People say that the city used to be full of demons, but a dragon drove them away,” Binghe says. “I assume it was master’s doing.”

"En, dealing with evil demons is one of my duties."

Luo Binghe gazes at him with visible interest. "Aren't all demons evil by nature?" 

This is not a surprising question, since this is a common misconception. Many people think all demons are inherently evil, but Shen Yuan never thought so. As far as he sees it, demons tend to be more involved in crime and illegal acts, not because they have an “immoral nature”, but because of the prejudice and ostracism from humans and spirits. Actually, Shen Yuan thinks demons don’t seem all that different from divine spirits, since both can have animal forms. But, while spirits have qi , spiritual power that (supposedly) comes from the heavens, demons have another type of energy, that (again, supposedly) comes from the underworld. 

"Of course not, no creature is born good or bad. An individual is defined by their actions,” Shen Yuan explains. Things would probably be easier if the concept of free will”existed in this world, though even in his world humans had many prejudices towards those of the same species. “Demons, spirits and humans are not that different in that aspect. In fact, I've met many good demons."

Talking about good demons, one in particular comes to mind. Old memories come to the surface. An image of a fluffy tail, that was always wagging around him. A little dog sweetly calling him shizun. Ah, it’s been so long. Lost in his thoughts, Shen Yuan absentmindedly smiles – unbeknown to him, Binghe exhales a sharp breath at seeing this smile.

“Master is the one who is too good,” Luo Binghe says breathily. “You should be careful, master. If a demon heard you saying that, he would want to take you away to keep you to himself.”

This snaps Shen Yuan out of his memories. 

“Nonsense. Want me for what?” he retorts, scoffing at the notion. Shen Yuan reaches for a yellow mung bean cake, wanting to make good use of this delicious breakfast. “I don’t–”

Abruptly, a violent shudder passes through his body and the cake slips from his fingers, dropping into the table. A sudden cold overtakes Shen Yuan’s body, like he is being submerged in a frozen lake. He shivers, feeling every part of his body go frigid.

“Master?” Binghe calls for him, probably noticing his strange behavior.

Shen Yuan pants, which makes a small white cloud of condensation leave his mouth. He tries to hide it by raising the teacup to his lips. The hot liquid of the tea turns tepid the moment it enters his mouth.

“It is nothing, a cool breeze passed by just now,” Shen Yuan lies.

It’s obviously a flimsy excuse, but the truth would be too complicated to explain, and is best if Luo Binghe doesn’t find out about it. The green dragon must appear powerful, Shen Yuan can let it show how weak he actually is at the moment.

Dragons have a natural affinity with the element of water, because of their yin nature. This gives them the power of ending droughts, controlling floods and creating snow. On the other hand, when a dragon is weakened, this power counterstrikes. A dragon’s body naturally runs cold, but without enough yang energy it goes intolerably cold. To Shen Yuan, it feels like being frozen from the inside. And that might actually happen, too. If his qi is not stabilized on time, the excess of yin energy will begin to turn his blood into ice. And that is how he will probably die – turning into a popsicle. 

It is like Shen Yuan has a time-bomb refrigerator inside himself, ready to explode at any moment. He is used to these sudden assaults of cold. They are usually temporary, at least for now. 

His hands are trembling so much the teacup almost falls. Shen Yuan cautiously puts it down to avoid a disaster. Luo Binghe reaches out to help him, his hand brushing against Shen Yuan’s skin when he takes the teacup to settle it on the table.

“You are freezing, master.” Binghe frowns, touching Shen Yuan’s hand again. In comparison to him, Binghe’s hand feels comfortingly warm. 

“And you are hot,” Shen Yuan replies. In more ways than one, his mind unhelpfully supplies.

“My body always runs hot.” To prove his point, he holds both of Shen Yuan’s hands inside of his. It feels so incredibly warm that Shen Yuan doesn’t even mind the inappropriate touch. “Does this help, master?”

He sighs as Luo Binghe rubs his fingers gently, transferring his warmth to him. 

“Hm, it does,” he admits. 

It is like Shen Yuan’s hands are blocks of ice, but under Binghe’s touch, they start to slowly melt like being put under the sun.

Shen Yuan leans his elbows against the table, savoring that one spot of warmth in his body where Luo Binghe is touching him. They spend a few minutes like this, just holding hands in silence. Shen Yuan would feel embarrassed about this situation if he had any free space in his mind to worry about anything but the freezing cold inside him. 

Until Zhuzhi Lang arrives. 

“My lord,” he says, glancing over at their joyed hand like he just saw something utterly scandalous. Well, considering the ancient standards of the world they are in, maybe holding hands really is scandalous. “I’ve prepared you a hot bath.”

A hot bath is exactly what Shen Yuan needs right now. What a reliable servant the original owner found!

“Thank you, Zhuzhi,” Shen Yuan says with honest gratitude. The new presence reminds Shen Yuan to feel embarrassment and he drops Luo Binghe’s hands, not noticing the way the man’s face darkens.

When he tries to get up, Shen Yuan realizes just how weak his body got. His legs almost give out, making him stagger. Luo Binghe immediately stands, his arms raised in his direction as if to help him. But Zhuzhi Lang is a step closer, already putting a hand on Shen Yuan’s elbow to support him. Luo Binghe’s face darkens completely, something that goes unnoticed.

“Sorry for not being able to finish the meal,” Shen Yuan tells him. 

Luo Binghe shakes his head. “It’s no matter. I can cook for master whenever he wants.”

Still, Shen Yuan feels guilty for letting all this food, and Binghe’s efforts, go to waste. 

“Let’s have dinner together later, alright?” he proposes before leaving.

With a smile, Luo Binghe answers: “I will be waiting for master.”

The cold apparitions usually do not last longer than the time it takes to burn five or six incense sticks – putting in modern terms, five hours at most. This time, though, it doesn’t go away that fast.

Shen Yuan soaks in the hot bath for a long time, with Zhuzhi Lang exchanging the water every time it goes cold, which happens exceedingly fast due to the fact that his coldness quickly cools even boiling water. After his skin goes all wrinkly, he leaves the bathtub. Moving to the bed, Shen Yuan turns into his smallest dragon, looking almost like a snake by how thin and short his body becomes, without considering the fur.

He buries himself in three layers of covers and sleeps for a whole day hidden in his cave of blankets. And yet, all this time sleeping is still not enough for him to recover his energy. Shen Yuan wakes up just like before, which can be summarized to: feeling like shit. He turns to his human form and tries to sit up, but his limbs feel so soft he ends up slumped on the bed in a half-sitting half-lying position.

“Are you there?” Shen Yuan calls in a feeble voice, knowing his subordinate can hear him even if he doesn’t speak loudly. 

Until he remembers Zhuzhi Lang said he would go to the city to buy some supplies that were missing in the courtyard. He probably wouldn’t be back yet. When Shen Yuan thinks he will have to find a way to warm himself up alone, the door of his chambers is pushed open.

Luo Binghe enters the bedroom in a hurry, as though he heard Shen Yuan’s calling. He steps closer to the bed, bowing his head.

“Apologies for entering master’s chambers without permission,” Binghe says, even though he doesn’t look all that apologetic. He looks worried instead, his face taut with tension. “Can this one assist you with anything?”

It is probably very undignified for a divine spirit to meet a human in this condition, but at this point it is not like Shen Yuan can hide from him. He makes another effort at sitting up to at least look more presentable and manages to lean against the headboard.

“I am fine, Binghe,” he tries to say steadily, but his voice sounds weaker than he would like. “Dragons just sleep more than the average human.”

“Is that so?” Luo Binghe looks unconvinced. He touches Shen Yuan’s hand that is resting above the blanket and knits his brows. “Master is cold again.”

Shen Yuan hides his hand under the covers, evading Binghe's probing touch.

"Dragons have cold constitutions," he explains, once again blaming it on the dragons' mysterious anatomy. It's not exactly a lie, either. "I will warm up eventually."

"Master." Luo Binghe's face goes firm with resolution. "Please allow me to help you." 

Before Shen Yuan can even tell him there is no need, Binghe is already taking action. 

Luo Binghe sits on the edge of the bed and, not giving time for Shen Yuan to react to that sudden breach of his personal space, puts his hands on him, cradling Shen Yuan's face. Binghe's palms feel deliciously warm against his gelid skin. The warmth is such a welcome relief that Shen Yuan can't help but lean against the touch like a cat seeking the sunlight.

"You are pale, master," Luo Binghe remarks with concern, softly brushing Shen Yuan's cheekbone with the pad of his thumb.

Shen Yuan knows he should be pushing Binghe away. As a divine being he should maintain appearances, after all. At this moment, though, Shen Yuan couldn't care less about his divine image. He puts his hands on Luo Binghe's wrist, not to push him away, but to hold him close and just to be able to feel more of his skin.

When Binghe's right hand moves, Shen Yuan notices something weird on it. There is a faded white line on the golden skin that can be seen both on the palm and the back of his hand – a gruesome scar.

"What is this?" Shen Yuan asks, brushing his fingers lightly on the back of Binghe's hand.

Luo Binghe pulls the hand away as if he was burned. Shen Yuan immediately regrets asking. He shouldn't have let his curiosity take the best of him, Binghe's scars have nothing to do with him. What if there is a sad story behind it and Shen Yuan accidentally made him remember it? 

"It's a reminder of a special moment," Luo Binghe says with a soft smile, his eyes gone wistful as if he is thinking of something distant. "A permanent kiss mark of sorts."

That's… not the answer Shen Yuan was expecting. He doesn't understand what Binghe means by "kiss mark", but thankfully it doesn't seem like a bad memory, so Shen Yuan decides not to probe any further into his personal matters. 

When he releases the hand, Luo Binghe moves it to his ears, rubbing them. Then his hands fall to his neck, the touch leaving a trail of warmth whenever it passes. It is like Luo Binghe became Shen Yuan's own personal heater, not something that Shen Yuan would complain about at that moment.

Luo Binghe rubs circles on his nape and Shen Yuan can't help but sigh contently.

"Does this feel good?" Binghe asks in a murmur.

"Uhm," Shen Yuan hums in agreement, opening the eyes he didn't even realize he had closed. "Binghe is so warm."

"If I can be useful to master, I'll willingly give you all my warmth," Luo Binghe says, sounding painfully earnest.

Binghe is looking at him like he would be ready to fish the moon out of the sky if Shen Yuan asked him to. It is kind of unsettling, being looked at with such reverence. Is this all because Binghe considers him a divine being? Shen Yuan imagines how disappointed Binghe would be if he found out Shen Yuan was just a human that inadvertently ended up inside a dragon's body. Truthfully, there is nothing divine about him.

"This is good enough already," Shen Yuan answers.

"Master is still shivering, though," Luo Binghe points out, not missing Shen Yuan's tremors even though he tried so hard to repress them. 

Although Binghe managed to lend some temporary warmth to him, making his face and neck less cold, the rest of Shen Yuan's body is still freezing. No external source of heat can actually warm Shen Yuan, anyway. His chill is internal, coming from the spiritual power running through his veins.

Luo Binghe sighs. "I wish there was a way for me to help you more."

Like reacting to what Binghe said, the system comes to life, displaying a bright screen in Shen Yuan's mind.

[New mission: Consume Luo Binghe’s yang energy. Reward: 100 points.]

Holy shit, a hundred points? 

The system doesn't usually offer so many points for a single mission. Shen Yuan still remembers the last time that happened… coincidentally, it was when he was in Cang Qiong city, not far from where he is living now. That time, the system rewarded him 100 points to save a little demon from falling off a cliff – not that Shen Yuan needed a reward to save someone's life, but the high amount of points still surprised him. 

But now, the system wants to reward him for taking someone's life instead. What kind of standards are those?

I said it before and I'll say it again: I will not kill him!

[Yang energy can be consumed without killing the provider.]

Well. Shen Yuan could have been informed about that before. How can the energy be consumed, then?

[There are three main ways to absorb yang energy: One, through ingesting the body of a person with high yang energy.]

Yeah, that one is out of the question.

[Two, through dual cultivation.]

Dual cultivation as in actual sex? It is incredible how many things can be solved in this world through the magical power of sex. It has no logic behind it! Shen Yuan is not going to do that either, which leaves one option… he surely hopes it is better.

[Three, through exchanging body fluids.]

[The second method is the most efficient. The third way is effective only for a short period.]

Body fluids sounds… possibly disgusting. Why are all options so weird? Shen Yuan wants to have a conversation with whoever came up with the way this world functions.

Can you specify what exchanging body fluids entails? he asks.

[The body fluids that contain the most yang energy are blood, saliva and semen.]

Shen Yuan tacitly ignores the last two, deciding to focus on the one less… questionable, if that can even be said about blood. Do you mean that drinking his blood like I'm an actual vampire can work?

[Yes, drinking blood is a common method of yang consumption.]

Common to whom? If Shen Yuan ever meets another dragon, he would like to ask them some questions. 

He can’t say he is not uncomfortable – drinking blood was not something he had ever imagined he would do in his life or the next –, still this option is not all that bad, or at least it is less bad compared to the others. And definitely better than being frozen to death. If Shen Yuan had to decide between turning into a popsicle and dying a painful death, or doing something weirdly disgusting to live even if it hurt his pride… his pride be damned, he wanted to live!

But he can't just turn to Luo Binghe and ask "Hey, would you mind if I drink your blood?". Of course he would mind, anyone in their sane conscience would! Except… Binghe did offer himself to be eaten. That guy doesn’t seem that sane, to begin with.

"Binghe," Shen Yuan starts carefully, trying to pick the right words to make his request sound less strange. "What if there is a way you could help?"

Luo Binghe sits straighter in attention. "Just tell me and this one will do it."

"You don't even know what it is yet,” Shen Yuan points out.

"I'll do whatever I can for master," Binghe affirms with unshakable resolve.

Even though Shen Yuan appreciates the sentiment, it is no good if Luo Binghe just jumps right into it. He doesn't want Binghe to give his blood without considering it carefully first. That's no simple matter.

"I am not really your master, there you're not obligated to do everything I say,” Shen Yuan says in a serious manner.

Luo Binghe takes hold of his hands and clutches them firmly.

"I am not doing this out of obligation, but because I want to help master," he vows. Binghe’s face is grave and honest, and Shen Yuan can tell the man is determined about it. "It is my choice. So please tell me what I can do for master."

This is the hard part. Telling Binghe he needs his blood in a way that doesn't sound creepy.

"The matter is… My qi is a little unbalanced." Shen Yuan looks away, wishing he had a fan in hand to hide his thin face. "I have an excess of yin energy and lack of yang. Ah, does Binghe understand the concept?"

Shen Yuan has to ask, because most humans are not familiar with how these things work. Even he, after transmigrating, took a while to understand the mysterious workings of the spiritual energy inside his body. Luo Binghe seems to be following, though, because he nods without a sign of confusion.

"And that is making master sick?" Binghe asks quickly, concern tinting his voice. "Is the situation too grave?"

"It is hard to explain," Shen Yuan says, not planning to spill all the beans and tell Luo Binghe how grave it actually is. "I am not really sick, just weakened. It's just something that happens with dragons."

Binghe’s frown deeps with every word, but he doesn't push for more explanations. "I see. Does master want to take some of my yang energy, then?"

It is a lucky thing that Binghe guessed it right. This way, Shen Yuan doesn’t have to say such a shameful thing out loud, he simply nods.

"Just a little bit would help. There are some methods for me to consume the energy." Shen Yuan coughs into his hands to cover his face and hide his discomfort. "But the easiest would be for me to have some of your… blood."

He speaks the last word so quietly that he fears maybe Luo Binghe didn’t even hear it. For a moment, Binghe's expression is unreadable. He half expects Binghe to change his mind and back away. Shen Yuan himself is already reconsidering the whole thing. But when Luo Binghe finally speaks, he doesn’t say Sorry, but I’m out of here or something similar, like Shen Yuan would expect. Instead, what he says is: 

"Where would you like to bite me?"

… Binghe surely just jumped straight into it. This human is really something, accepting to give his blood so easily!

While Shen Yuan is still debating with himself on how to proceed, Luo Binghe is already moving. He opens the top part of his robes, exposing his collarbones. Just like the rest of his body, the skin there is tanned, almost like it is golden.

"Here is a good place to bite," Binghe says, lifting his chin to tap a finger on his neck, right above a protruding vein.

Just don't go offering your neck like that, Binghe! Shen Yuan would not go straight to the jugular. He would rather make it less dangerous (and intimate). So, ignoring Binghe's very generous offer, Shen Yuan pulls at his hand instead.

"Your wrist will do," he decides.

Shen Yuan wills his canines to grow, transforming into fangs. In his dragon form, his fangs can grow into the size of a human hand, even, but Shen Yuan doesn’t plan on chopping Binghe’s limbs off, so he only allows his canines to become a little sharper. Hopefully, it won’t cause much damage to the human.

This won't hurt Luo Binghe, right?, Shen Yuan confirms with the system, verifying one last time if this is really safe before taking action. There will be no side effects?

[Luo Binghe has high reserves of yang energy and thus would not be hurt.]

Good. But does Binghe really have this much extra yang energy to go giving it around? Well, whatever. Some humans have more yang, others more yin, that's just how it is.

Reassured by the system, Shen Yuan brings Binghe's wrist to his mouth. He feels Binghe shiver slightly when his lips touch the skin, and hesitates, pausing his motions.

"You can go ahead, master," Luo Binghe says. 

With the human’s permission, Shen Yuan finally craves his fangs into Binghe’s wrist. 

He thought it would be way more disgusting than it actually is. Drinking blood feels weird, sure, but it doesn't taste bad. Shen Yuan barely dwells on the taste of it – slightly salty and similar to how licking something made of iron would feel – because he is immediately overwhelmed by the raw energy. His body starts to tingle from head to toe with it and Shen Yuan feels his dragon horns sliding out from his forehead, showing up without his command as though excited by all the power he is receiving.

Shen Yuan can practically feel the power entering him and spreading through all his body as the hot liquid goes down his throat. After experiencing the cold for so long, consuming the warm blood is like drinking hot coffee in winter, but ten times more potent, and addictive, than any coffee. It is addictive, this feeling. Shen Yuan, who didn't even want to drink to begin with, now doesn't want to stop. But he does – Shen Yuan is not a monster. 

The desire to keep drinking must come from the dragon's instincts, but Shen Yuan is more than this body. He doesn't want to drain Binghe dry. Afraid of leaving him malnourished, Shen Yuan doesn't allow himself to drink too much. After taking a quantity that he considers safe, Shen Yuan retreats his fangs.

"Was that enough?" Luo Binghe asks with a hoarse voice. "Master can take more, if he needs.”

Just at this moment, the system pipes in. 

[Congratulations on completing the mission! Your reward of 100 points was collected. Current points accumulated: 6.440.]

With the system confirmation, Shen Yuan is reassured to know the procedure actually worked.

 “This much is enough,” he tells Binghe. “Does it still hurt?”

He takes a close look at Binghe’s wrist, inspecting the teeth mark left by him. Noticing there are still some blood drops seeping from the wound, Shen Yuan licks it clean. The moment his tongue touches Binghe’s skin, the man makes a small sound, almost a whimper.

“No. It– it doesn’t hurt at all,” he mutters. That answer didn’t sound too firm, making Shen Yuan feel doubtful. But of course being bitten could possibly feel good. 

Guiltily, Shen Yuan glances at the bite mark again. He hopes it doesn’t scar. Thinking that, Shen Yuan plants a kiss on Binghe's wrist. He only remembers to feel embarrassed by his actions when Binghe gasps quietly. Shit, Shen Yuan just went and kissed the man! It would be natural for Luo Binghe to misunderstand.

"This will make it heal faster," Shen Yuan hurries to explain. "A dragon's kiss is healing."

When he frantically looks up at Binghe’s face, Shen Yuan gets dumbfounded. The man’s cheeks are dusted pink with a blush and his eyes, too, are reddened, as though he is holding back tears.

"I know," Binghe says, sounding rather wistful. 

Before Shen Yuan can ask just how he knows that, Luo Binghe raises his right hand, the one with the scar, to his cheek.

"Master is warmer now,” he remarks, as though his move is just to feel the skin, but he doesn’t drop his hand, caressing Shen Yuan’s face lightly with his finger. Shen Yuan sees something in Binghe’s expression that looks somewhat like longing, somewhat like worry, and a lot like fondness. “Is master feeling better?"

"Ah, yes.” Shen Yuan quickly looks away, his heartbeat speeding up for no good reason. Not wanting to sound ungrateful, he forcefully snaps out of his flustered state to add: “Thanks to Binghe. When I recuperate, I will gladly pay you back and share some of his gold with you.”

Binghe’s hand travel from Shen Yuan’s face to one of his horns, his fingers brushing against the white, solid appendices.

“I do not wish for gold,” Binghe declares calmly.

"Everyone who gives something to a dragon can receive something in return,” Shen Yuan explains. “If Binghe doesn’t want gold, what do you wish for?"

Luo Binghe hesitates for a moment, turning pensive. His hands drop from Shen Yuan’s horns, falling to his own lap. 

"There's only one thing I wish for."

"What is it?" Shen Yuan asks. "If it's something this master can give to you, I will."

Luo Binghe shakes his head. "I don’t know if it’s something master would willingly give me.” 

"I'm offering," he insists. Doing something for Binghe would make him feel a bit better about the whole sucking-his-blood thing. "My powers are not limitless, but I can do many things. You can just ask."

Luo Binghe laughs, but, for some reason, it sounds somewhat sad. 

"Maybe one day," he says vaguely. "I don't need anything in return for helping you, master. Master can have my blood again whenever he needs more energy."

Shen Yuan blinks in surprise. People usually just ask him for things, no one in this world ever just gave him something without asking for anything in return. Not until Luo Binghe.

What a devoted sacrifice Shen Yuan got! He is already thinking of doing it again, even. The man already acted as his personal heater and his blood bag. This was too much. 

"You already did enough,” he decides. “I couldn't take anything more from you."

"Master can take whatever he wants," Luo Binghe answers. "I already gave myself to you, remember?"

Sacrifice or not, Shen Yuan doesn’t want to abuse him. It is decided. There is no way he will take more of Binghe’s blood.

With this decision in mind, Shen Yuan gives his final word: “I will not be doing this again.”

He does it again.

Shen Yuan was not planning to! It just… happens. For five whole days, he feels perfectly fine. No more coldness or weakness. He even feels less need to sleep. In fact, Shen Yuan gets more energetic than he had felt in a long time, so much that he can't keep the urge to fly. Bored after being bedridden for a day, he transforms into his dragon form to fly over the woods. This time he takes the precaution of not flying too far not to be seen by humans, and Luo Binghe watches over him from the ground to be sure there is no one else around. 

Wanting to stretch his legs, Shen Yuan also invites him to go on walks through the bamboo forest. Walking together with Luo Binghe through the peaceful forest, either sharing idle conversation or just in comfortable silence, is surprisingly nice. It is almost strange how quickly Shen Yuan finds himself warming up to the human – and yes, more than just physically. 

On one of these occasions, Luo Binghe prepares them a picnic. It is during this picnic that it happens.

They are in a clearing, sitting among the grass and wildflowers. He was happily eating the snacks Binghe made, chatting away with the man. The sun was bright, even a little too hot on Shen Yuan's skin. But then, out of nowhere, he can’t feel the sun’s warmth anymore. The biting cold overcomes him with sudden intensity, coming all at once like a wave crashing down on him.

Shen Yuan tries to fight against it as he grinds his teeth together to stop them from chattering. This time, though, his yin energy seems to be more out of control than ever, as if revolting against his body. After drinking Binghe's blood, his recovery was so smooth that Shen Yuan believed maybe it would last. It was evidently a mistake.

“Is there something wrong, master?” Luo Binghe asks, noticing his struggle.

Not wanting to trouble him, Shen Yuan shakes his head in denial. But the movement makes him go dizzy, his vision darkening. Before he knows what is happening, he faints.

It is impossible for him to determine how long he has been unconscious. Shen Yuan wakes up disoriented. The last thing he remembers is falling to the grass like a potato sack. It takes a moment for him to realize he is not on the ground anymore, but on top of… a person?

Making the hard effort to lift his head, which feels painfully heavy, he looks up – just to see Binghe's face right there in front of him. Well, of course it is. Shen Yuan is lying on his chest!  How did he end up in this position?! Shen Yuan doesn't even have time to fret about that, because he is soon distracted by pain.

It is so cold his bones are aching . It is like there are a million ice crystals piercing through his organs. Maybe that is not that far off from the truth, because there are literal crystals forming on the ends of his hair. And when Shen Yuan blinks, he sees snow clinging to his eyelashes.

"You are awake, master." Luo Binghe exhales with relief when he notices him moving. But the relief doesn't last long when he sees how much Shen Yuan is trembling. "Master?"

A sudden shiver goes through him, and Shen Huan instinctively snuggles into Binghe's chest, seeking his warmth. He feels Luo Binghe tightens his arms around him, trying to envelop him in his warmth. They are as close as they could be, chests pressed flushed together, legs intertwined, hugging – but it's just not enough. Luo Binghe is as warm as always, but Shen Yuan's cold is twice as severe as it was before.

"Qingqiu," Binghe calls for him again as he rubs his palms on Shen Yuan's back. "Is it your qi, isn't it? You can absorb my yang energy again, master."

"No…" Shen Yuan refuses weakly, barely being able to speak with the way his teeth are chattering.

Luo Binghe doesn't give up on it. But instead of insisting, he simply takes the matter into his own hands. Literally. Binghe holds Shen Yuan's face and turns it gently but firmly, directing it to his neck.

"Please, I don't want to see you in pain," he pleads in an anguished voice. But with the way Shen Yuan’s head is throbbing, he can barely apprehend what Binghe is saying. "Shizun, please. Don’t leave me again."

Binghe’s voice is overpassed by the sound of the system sending a notification to Shen Yuan.

[New mission: Consume Luo Binghe’s yang energy. Reward: 100 points.]

Shen Yuan’s mind goes cloudy, the words consume Binghe's yang energy repeating incessantly like he is being brainwashed by them. 

Binghe's neck starts to look enticing, like it is Shen Yuan’s favorite candy. Luo Binghe presses Sehn Yuan’s face against his neck, inviting him to bite… so he does. 

Unthinkingly, Shen Yuan latches to Binghe's neck like a hungry animal, all composure forgotten. His fangs meet the tender flesh, sinking on muscle. The instant he feels the blood on his tongue, he drinks ravenously. The blood, the power it holds, tastes incredibly good – better than he would expect blood to taste, if he was in his right mind to think anything at the moment. 

Driving only by instincts, Shen Yuan drinks and drinks, energy tingling through his body. Like he is under an electric current, he can’t stop still, squirming and writhing on top of Luo Binghe without the knowledge he is doing it. His nails dig into Binghe’s shoulder, holding him in place under him as Shen Yuan takes his blood.

As Shen Yuan’s body starts to recuperate its warmth, his mind clears little by little. He urges himself to pull away, as much as his body is begging him to keep drinking. Like last time, Shen Yuan licks the wound clean and presses a kiss to it to heal it. Binghe lets out a loud sigh when being kissed.

When Shen Yuan finally feels like himself again, he immediately becomes appalled at his own behavior. He becomes hyper-aware of every part in which his body is pressed against Binghe's. Of the fact that he was wiggling on top of him and had latched at his neck like he would devour him.

"I am sorry," Shen Yuan says, pulling himself from above Luo Binghe. He sits on the grass, growing mortified at the whole ordeal now that his body is working again to feel flushed with embarrassment and – shit, why did the blood rush down there too?

"There is no need to apologize," Binghe answers quickly, also pushing himself to a sitting position. "I’ve told master already that you can absorb my energy whenever you need it. But…"

Shen Yuan waits in fear of what will come after this foreboding ‘but’. But you went too far this time or but you were way too shameless. Both would be true. God, Shen Yuan wants to run away.

"But, is this method really effective?" Luo Binghe continues. "The cold seemed worse than last time. Your qi has not yet stabilized. There must be another to transfer you my yang energy."

Shen Yuan breathes out in relief upon realizing Luo Binghe doesn’t seem put off by his behavior. He touches his forehead, feeling the protruding horns that once again have instinctively escaped while he absorbed the energy. Afraid of looking too hideous with his appearance, and not wanting Binghe to feel uncomfortable by those unhuman horns, he turns his head to the side.

"The other methods are too…" Shen Yuan traces off when he remembers the methods the system told him. As much as he appreciates the fact that Binghe seems so unbothered so far, there are probably limits to his tolerance. 

Luo Binghe hangs into his words. "So there are other methods."

"Uhm, but they are out of question," Shen Yuan says vaguely. Still, Binghe is watching him expectantly like he won't drop the matter, so he realizes he will have to clarify why the other methods are so impossible, at least partially. "Well, yang energy can be absorbed through different body fluids. But besides blood, the others would be… harder to exchange."

"Body fluids," Binghe repeats, contemplative.

Shen Yuan retrieves his fan, which has fallen on the grass, and opens it.

"Yes, fluids like…" There is no way he can't say it! He opens the fan in front of his face, wishing it was big enough to cover his horns as well. "Forget it. I am better now, no need to dwell on it."

"I will drop the subject, but only if master promises to tell me next time he starts to feel weak,” Luo Binghe says. “Don't hesitate in coming to me."

Just remembering what happened moments ago, Shen Yuan regrets it all. He can’t possibly promise that he would do it again. If he loses control again, his face would collapse entirely.

"Yes, yes,” he says offhandedly, waving the fan over his now hot face. “I promise."

Not for a moment Shen Yuan considers keeping that promise. But Luo Binghe will remember it. Just like he remembers the promise his shizun made him years ago.

🐉

“Swallow my breath and take what is mine

I'm giving you all, I'm giving you all

I'll be the blood if you'll be the bones

I'm giving you all, I'm giving you all”

Wolves Without Teeth - Of Monsters and Men

Chapter Text

"I came here with a load

And it feels so much lighter now I met you

And honey, you should know

That I could never go on without you"

Green eyes – Coldplay

🐉

Eight years ago

For a long time, Luo Binghe was afraid of looking into other people’s eyes. Because when he did, they looked at him like he was a monster. 

Luo Binghe avoided contact with other people – not because he wanted to, but because they avoided him first. He is not human, people muttered under their breaths. Stay away from the demon, the mothers advised their children. It wasn’t untrue, exactly. Binghe was not entirely human, but he was also not entirely a demon. Half-human half-demon, both humans and demons rejected his existence. Abandoned by his parents at birth, the only person he had in the world was his adoptive mother and, after she died, he had nobody left – nowhere and no place to belong. 

Eventually, he decided to cut himself from human society. Luo Binghe assumed his demon form, a black dog with curly fur and small horns, and went to the forest intending to live just like a wild animal. At least in the woods, there would be no one to judge him. But life in the woods was harder than he was expecting, there were animals bigger than him and demons more vicious than him. Luo Binghe was not a weak demon, but was still young and inexperienced, so he was seen as easy prey. He had to be on constant alert, always on the defensive not to be eaten. 

Tired from being on the run, Luo Binghe ended up going back to the city. But he had exhausted his reserves of spiritual energy and couldn't transform back to his human form for the time being. Luo Binghe spent his days in an abandoned temple and, during the night, he would go to the market to steal food. He had to creep among the shadows not to be seen. Even when the food stall owners noticed the food missing, they could never catch him. Binghe was nimble and fast. 

Until one day, he wasn’t fast enough.

“Thief!” The cook yelled. When he saw the abnormal dog holding a dumpling between his sharp canines, the man turned even more enraged. “A demon. The thief is a demon!”

Before Luo Binghe could run away, the cook had already aimed his knife at him. Binghe was able to dodge a critical hit, but he couldn't escape the knife entirely. The blade sank into the tender pads of Binghe’s paw, causing a numbing pain.

Luo Binghe could only howl in agony. There was no time for him to rest, though. The cook’s yell had called the people’s attention and a group of men was going in his direction, taking whatever weapons they could find, bent on killing the demon who dared to sneak among the humans. Binghe's only option was to run. 

Even with the knife still craved on one of his front paws, Luo Binghe ran as fast as he could. The men followed in his pursuit, screaming in a way that made them sound like the demons to Binghe’s ears. His paw hurt, he was famished and exhausted. Soon enough, Binghe started to lose ground. He ran blindly, moved by desperation. That is why he didn’t see the cliff.

When he noticed it, it was already too late. Luo Binghe couldn’t stop his momentum, his feet met empty air and he felt a sudden emptiness around him. 

Until now, he still remembers the sensation of falling. The pure fright of it. The gravity pulling him down. The way he closed his eyes, awaiting his end. Then, he remembers feeling something solid under him. 

One moment he was falling and the next he was not. There was something holding him, something that felt soft and fluffy, and that moved up and down as if breathing. Luo Binghe opened his eyes with apprehension and looked down. 

Under his body, there was a green dragon.

Binghe was so dumbfounded he almost fell from its slender body. He had to tighten his four legs around it to catch his balance. The dragon didn’t seem to mind. It flew elegantly, riding the wind. That is another thing Luo Binghe will never forget, how it feels to fly. Sitting against the dragon’s back, Binghe could practically touch the clouds. 

The dragon carried him all the way into an isolated part of the forest. On unsteady legs, Luo Binghe dismounted, already dreading to part with his mysterious savior. When his paw hit the ground, the knife sank even further into it. Binghe whined, curling into himself. Amidst his pain, he didn’t notice that the dragon had transformed. 

“You’re injured?” a voice asked. “Let me see it.”

Hands touched him, distracting him from the pain. Luo Binghe looked at the dragon, only to see it was not a dragon anymore, but a young man. 

The man had smooth white skin, gentle features and peculiar green eyes. Those eyes looked at him not with disdain, fear or hate, like Binghe was used to. They looked at him with kindness. 

When the man reached for his pawn, Binghe couldn’t help but flinch at the touch. The man only smiled.

“Don’t worry, I only want to help you,” he said reassuringly.  

Everything about the man was so comforting, his every act exuded so much warmth that Luo Binghe felt the walls he built so strongly around himself crumbling. He extended his injured paw. Ever so carefully, the man held it in his hand.

“This will hurt a little,” he said. Without further warning, he pulled the knife off.

A miserable howl escaped Binghe’s throat. By instinct, he squirmed wildly, struggling against the pain. But the man held him firmly in his arms.

“It’s alright. You did well,” the man murmured gently to him as he stroked Binghe’s back, his fingers running through the fur. The soothing motion made Binghe gradually calm down. “That’s right, you are safe now. It’s already over.”

Blood oozed from Binghe’s paw, staining the man’s pale green robes. Unbothered, the man ripped out a strip of his robes and used the fabric to press at the wound. Then, to Binghe’s astonishment, he raised the paw to his lips. And kissed it.

When his lips left the paw, now stained red with blood, the wound had closed. It no longer hurt.

“This will make it heal faster. A dragon’s kiss is healing,” said the man. “Demons heal fast, though. You will be good in no time.”

Luo Binghe wanted to thank the man – dragon? deity? Binghe wasn’t sure what he was, but it didn’t matter. What mattered is that he was his savior. He didn’t know how to thank him, though, since he didn’t have anything of value to offer in return. The only thing he could do to express his gratitude at the moment was to lick at the blood on the man’s hand.

Thank you, thank you, he kept repeating. In this form, he couldn’t speak, but he could communicate with his thoughts.

Suddenly, the man stretched behind Binghe’s ears. 

“Good boy.” After saying that, he immediately retreated his hand. “Ah, sorry. I know you’re not an actual dog. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Luo Binghe didn’t mind the treatment in the slightest. He craved for more of his man’s affection. Even though he was afraid of asking for anything more, Binghe leaned against the man’s hand, subtly asking for more pets. Instead of rejecting him, his savior smiled down at him. The smile made Binghe’s breath hitch.

“You must've been scared,” the man said, indulging Binghe and resuming to pat his head. Luo Binghe couldn’t stop his tail from wagging in contentment. “How could those men chase you like that? Tsk, brutes.”

Guilty, Binghe’s ears drop. It’s my fault, I stole from them.

“What did you steal?”

Afraid that the man would leave him once he heard the truth, Luo Binghe hesitated in telling him. But he also didn’t want to lie to his savior, so after a minute he told the whole tale, from his mother’s death to his need to steal food. The man hears it silently, and by the end Binghe is trembling with fear of his judgment.

But the man only hugs him closer.

“Stealing is not ethical, but I can’t say you were wrong in this situation. Those people were the ones acting like trash!” he said passionately, getting angry on his behalf. “You are just a child!”

But I’m a demon, Binghe retorts, as if that needed to be reminded of when he was in the form of a beast.

“That doesn’t mean you should be treated badly. No one has the right to see you as lesser just because of your origins.” His savior poked the red tear-shaped demon mark in Binghe’s head with the tip of his finger. “Being a demon does not define who you are and definitely does not make you evil. Your actions and your choices are what define you.”

Luo Binghe hung onto his every word, feeling completely amazed. No one had ever told him he could choose before. Even his mother, before dying, told him that since he was half-demon, his only choice was to hide his true self. Then, that man who barely knew him, that saved him, was telling Binghe that he had another choice in life. Telling him that he was not inherently bad.

“What is your name, little one?” the man asked him.

It’s unlucky to know a demon’s name.

“There’s no such thing!” he exclaimed, as if he was the one personally offended by the idea. “People call me Qingqiu, the green dragon. But you want to know a secret?” Qingqiu-jun leaned in and whispered the next part into Binghe’s ear. “I have a different name that no one in this world knows. If you tell me your name, I’ll tell you mine.”

Luo Binghe was tempted. He wanted to share this secret with Qingqiu-jun, and be the only person who knew the real name of the green dragon. But at the same time, he knew he couldn’t tell him. Not when the legends said that whoever speaks a demon’s name will be cursed with bad luck.

Seeming to sense his hesitance, Qingqiu-jun reassured him.

“Fine, you can tell me whenever you’re ready,” he said. “For now, how about I call you… dizi?”

Dizi? Luo Binghe repeated, perking up. Will you be my shizun?

“Well, I don’t have much knowledge of demonic cultivation to teach you,” Qingqiu said apologetically. “But if you want, I can teach you a thing or two about other things I know. And I will also take care of you until you recover. What do you say?”

Luo Binghe bowed down. It was a strange action to do while he is a dog, but it didn’t stop him from showing his respect, his furry head touching the ground in front of Qingqiu.

This disciple greets shizun.

Qingqiu-jun chuckled. He opened a fan, hiding half of his face behind it so only his green eyes were left visible.

For a long time, Luo Binghe was afraid of looking at other people’s eyes – until Qingqiu’s eyes looked at him. Those green eyes looked at him with nothing but kindness. After that, all Binghe wanted was for that person to keep looking at him. But in his life, nothing good lasts forever.

After just a few moons with the green dragon, Luo Binghe got attached inevitably fast to his shizun. Like a man lost in the desert finding an oasis, he basked in his shizun’s care, wanting to soak himself in Qingqiu’s presence.

Acting as touch-starved as he felt, Luo Binghe used the excuse of not being able to shift to his human form to indiscriminately ask to be petted. Day and night he acted sticky, not being above behaving like a spoiled child to get attention. And Qingqiu gave him all his attention without complaints. 

He let Luo Binghe stay with him in the same inn room he was renting, and every night Binghe would sleep snuggling in the soft fur of the green dragon, most of the time curled on his tail. His shizun gave him more than enough food, as if trying to compensate for the hunger Binghe had felt before. He taught Binghe some basic skills that the young demon was altogether lacking, like how to read and write, how to meditate to control his spiritual energy and defensive fighting moves. Qingqiu read him books and cultivation manuals, or just told him tales about what he’s seen while traveling the world, trying to impart any knowledge he had to give.

Luo Binghe knew that all this was temporary. He did, but he still allowed himself to become dependent on his shizun. The green dragon was a wandering god, and those who wander never stay too long in just one place. 

A certain night, Luo Binghe woke up and didn’t find his shizun anywhere in the inn. Binghe buried his face in Qingqiu’s pillow and cried so much the fabric got soaked with his tears. When Qingqiu got back, he found the dog curled in his bed, sobbing pitifully.

“What’s wrong, dizi?” he asked, taking Binghe into his lap.

I thought shizun had left, Luo Binghe whined.

“Silly child, I only left for a moment,” Qingqiu chastised him softly. “I was called to deal with some demons that were wreaking havoc in town.”

Did shizun kill them?

“No, I don’t kill any creatures. I think no one has the right to decide who gets to live or die,” he said. “I just drove the demons back to the Demon Realm.”

Like a clingy kid, Luo Binghe nuzzled on his shizun’s neck. He couldn’t help but wonder if his shizun would drive him away someday too. Binghe lived dreading the day they would part – and this day really came.

One morning, Qingqiu took him on a walk without the intention of taking Binghe back with him. His shizun then revealed he had been secretly looking for an honorable demonic sect for him. The information came too suddenly. Qingqiu had taken a clueless Binghe right to the sect's door without giving him prior notice of where they were going or time for him to prepare for their separation, as if he knew Binghe would resist it otherwise.

“It will be good for you to join a sect. They will be able to instruct you better than I ever could," his shizun had said. "These people can take you to the Demonic Realm, where you will find others like you. Meanwhile, I have a mission– er, a duty I need to attend to in another town.”

They had spent six seasons together in Cang Qiong, almost two years. For Binghe, it wasn't long enough – if he would, he would spend all his life with his shizun.

Can't you take me with you? Luo Binghe asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“No, dizi,” Qingqiu had firmly rejected him. "It's better for dizi to stay with your own kind.”

Those words hurt more than any blade ever could. His own kind…

Of course Binghe knew that they were different, that a demon should never even dream of being close to a creature as divine as a dragon. He knew people berated Qingqiu for associating with a demon, he saw the looks people threw at his shizun when they got out together. Luo Binghe didn’t want him to suffer the same as him. But Qingqiu-jun kept him by his side anyway, ignoring the stares and the rumors, even defending Binghe from them. Binghe wanted to become stronger for him, wanted to be able to protect his shizun as he protected him, to shield him from all evil – his shizun was too good for this world, so much that Binghe sometimes suspected that he came from somewhere else. 

He had to become stronger, dependable, better – good enough to one day stay proudly by his shizun’s side.

Bracing himself, he answered obediently. I understand, shizun.

What hurt the most was that his shizun didn’t seem troubled in the slightest by the fact that they would be separated, like Binghe was only just a passing encounter in his life, not someone to be missed.

Luo Binghe never wanted to cry more than at that moment. But, even though he usually cried on purpose to get what he wanted, Binghe knew that this one time his tears wouldn't move his shizun, but only make him look more pathetic in his eyes. 

“It’s funny, all this time I never saw your real face or heard your name,” Qingqiu said. “But you became special to me all the same.”

Luo Binghe could barely believe the words. Was he special to his shizun? That is all he ever wanted. 

Shizun. Binghe rubbed his head against Qingqiu's chest one last time, leaving his scent on his shizun to mark him as his. He wanted to tell his shizun how special he was to him too, but couldn't find the words to do it., so he could only repeat the same word over and over. Shizun, shizun.

His shizun caressed his fur. “Soon you won't be a pup anymore. Next time we meet, show me your real self, alright?”

Binghe raised his head to look at him with watery eyes full of hope. Will we meet again?  

Qingqiu smiled. “If fate allows it.” 

It was neither a promise nor a dismissal. But secretly, Luo Binghe made a promise to himself. They would meet again. And when they did, Binghe could show him his real face and tell him his name. Things like a demon’s name bringing bad luck, he grew to understand it was only prejudiced folktales. Fate, as well, as a mere fable.

Luo Binghe would not rely on fate or luck. No matter what, he would find his shizun again.

Now

Luo Binghe spent years looking for his shizun. It was like trying to catch the moon by touching its reflection on the water, the green dragon always vanished before Binghe could catch up to him. And now that Binghe finally found him, he can’t let himself lose Qingqiu again.

Things changed between them through the years – Luo Binghe himself has changed in various ways –, but his shizun’s eyes were the same. How he yearned to have those green eyes looking at him and only him. Having that kind gaze on him again. 

On many occasions, Binghe had to stop himself from calling him shizun . He had other mentors while in the demonic sect he joined, but none of them he has called like this, because his only shizun was the green dragon. Qingqiu was the one who taught him the most important thing: happiness. But calling him master is not that far off either – after all, Qingqiu is the master of his heart.

Luo Binghe had kept his promise. He came to his shizun with his real face and told him his real name. But all the while, he's still concealing himself. He is afraid, afraid his shizun will drive him away again, afraid a divine dragon has no space in his life for a mere demon like him. So he used charms to conceal his demonic aura, concealing himself as a demon, just to be close to his shizun. 

He will give himself to Qingqiu as an offering if he needs to. He will give him his blood and his whole body too – not only because he owes shizun his life, but because his life has no purpose without Qingqiu.

But his shizun doesn't allow him to help as much as he wants to. Qingqiu is reluctant to consume his yang energy, Binghe can see it. His shizun promised he would come to him next time his qi went unbalanced – but he didn’t keep his word. Instead, he called for that eyesore servant of his. 

Luo Binghe couldn't stand seeing that snake attending to his shizun when he should be the one by Qingqiu’s side. That's why when Zhuzhi Lang leaves the bathhouse, leaving Qingqiu to have a warm bath after he was stricken by the cold again, Binghe sneaks into the room. 

He stops before the wooden folding screen – Binghe would not be so impolite as to take a peek into his shizun bathing, unauthorized. 

"Master," he calls. "Are you feeling indisposed?"

Luo Binghe hears the sound of water sloshing on the other side of the screen.

"Binghe? I am fine," comes the weak voice of Qingqiu. It's obvious just by the sound of it that he is not fine. “What are you even doing here?”

"You promised you would come to me if you felt unwell again," Binghe reminds him. 

"I don't want to keep taking your blood like I'm some sort of animal,” his shizun argues.

As an animal himself (or at least partially), Luo Binghe couldn’t care less about being bitten. Actually, he quite enjoys the process. His shizun leaving his mark on him. Sucking and licking and kissing his skin. Being overcome by his instincts like last time and writhing on top of him… Luo Binghe enjoys all of this way more than he should, considering his shizun’s worrisome condition.

"I do not mind."

"But I do, I will not–" 

Qingqiu's words are cut by a coughing fit. Panic strikes Binghe. He presses his hand to the screen separating from his shizun, hearing the loud coughs coming from the other side without being able to do anything about it. The sounds are wet, like he is choking on something. Is he vomiting blood? The worry makes Binghe go dizzy.

It's unbearable to hear his shizun suffering without doing anything. Ignoring all decorum, Luo Binghe walks to the other side of the folding screen. 

There is so much fog coming from the bathtub that he can barely see anything. At first, he thinks it's from the hot water, but the fog is cold like dry ice. It takes a moment for him to realize the reason – Qingqiu's body must be so cold it is evaporating the water. 

Luo Binghe crouches before the bathtub. Qingqiu is still coughing, and now Binghe can see that what is leaving his mouth is not blood, as he feared, but just water. Before he can start to feel relieved, he sees the water in the bathtub start changing. It starts to solidify, turning into a block of ice that imprisons Qingqiu inside of it.

Binghe acts before thinking. He presses his hands against the ice and uses his powers to melt it. His demon’s power to control fire comes in handy. The ice turns into water, and Binghe quickly reaches for his shizun. He takes Qingqiu's damp, cold body in his arms. And just then he remembers Qingqiu is not wearing any clothes.

It is not the right time to be distracted by his shizun's naked body – even the smooth bare skin under his hands is immensely distracting –, so Luo Binghe struggles to keep his focus. Shizun needs his help. 

Qingqiu seems to be semi-conscious. He didn't even complain about Binghe seeing him like this, despite his thin face. His eyes are closed, his hair completely frozen, his opened mouth exhaling condensed air. Binghe's heart speeds up with concern. He takes a towel and wraps Qingqiu in it. Then he takes off his own outer robes, puts it around Qingqiu's shoulders and hugs him tightly to his chest. 

Luo Binghe transforms his canines, letting them grow, and bites hard at his own hand. When blood starts dripping, he presses the hand against Qingqiu's lips, urging him to drink it. Demon blood is naturally hotter than the one of other creatures, and Binghe can also control it to circulate faster through Qingqiu's limp body. 

As his shizun shallows the blood, color slowly returns to his pale face. After a while, Qingqiu opens his eyes languidly. 

He is still trembling with cold, but the first thing he worries about is Binghe.

"Your hand!" His shizun immediately takes his mouth again from Binghe’s hand, ceasing to drink the blood. He looks at the bite mark Binghe made on himself, wider and deeper than Qingqiu had ever dared to bite him, and frowns. 

As he did in the previous times, Qingqiu licks at the wound like a cat drinking milk. Binghe wants to tell him to drink more, but when his shizun looks up at him from behind his eyelashes, still moving his rosy tongue against Binghe's hand, all words abandon him. All he can do is swallow before he drools over.

"I told you I didn't want to drink your blood anymore," Qingqiu scolds. “You shouldn’t have done that. 

"Master is still weak." Binghe tightens his hold around his shizun. "If you don't want my blood, we could exchange energy another way."

Qingqiu makes a confused noise. "But what way–"

"This way."

Taking hold of Qingqiu's chin with a trembling hand, Luo Binghe tilts up his shizun’s surprised face. Shutting his eyes, he leans down until his lips meet. 

Luo Binghe would like to say he knows what he is doing. He does not . This is the first time he ever kissed someone – because his shizun is the only person he would ever want to kiss – and is not even supposed to be a kiss, not really, but exchanging saliva just to help his shizun. He is a bit lost on how to go at him, afraid he will act just like a dog slobbering over his owner. So Binghe is only led by instinct. 

He licks into his shizun's mouth, opening the soft cold lips. Moving his spiritual energy like air in his lungs, he lightly passes it to Qingqiu through their open mouths. Then, incapable of stopping himself, he massages his shizun's tongue with his.

At first, Qingqiu's only reaction is surprise. He gasps against Binghe's mouth and puts his hands on his chest as if he wants to push him away. But he doesn't, instead Qingqiu hands grip the fabric of Binghe's shirt. Qingqiu gradually eases into the kiss, tilting his head up and letting out small noises that almost sound like mewling.

It takes all of Binghe's willpower not to get dominated by his instincts and let his ears and tail out. Oh, how he would like to wrap shizun in his tail and pull him even closer. But of course it would be terrible if his disguise was revealed like this. 

When Binghe feels his shizun's body heating up, in a valiant show of self-control he pulls away. Qingqiu's cheeks are flushed and his eyes are glassy. He looks way healthier, but also kind of… dazed?

"Hmm," he whines groggily and, to Binghe's utter shock, jumps him.

Qingqiu straddles his lap, the robe Binghe had put over his shoulders falling to the ground, making it so there is only the towel wrapped around him. Before Binghe can understand what is happening, Qingqiu kisses him. And he does it with no restraint whatsoever.

He bites at Binghe's bottom lip until it bleeds and starts sucking at it. When his shizun pushes his tongue inside his mouth, Binghe tastes his own blood on it. He knows Qingqiu is not being himself at the moment, but Binghe is a weak man. He can only kiss him back as energetically as his shizun is kissing him.

It's like Qingqiu is feasting on him. Binghe is aware that it's the need for yang energy that is  making him act like this. Demons have naturally strong and abundant yang energy, but… could it also be addictive? Binghe has never heard of such a thing before, but it would not be surprising by the effect it has on Qingqiu.

When his shizun seems to have enough of him, he separates their mouths and Binghe sees a shiny tread of saliva hanging between their lips, proving that this time Qingqiu surely was well fed. 

Qingqiu still has some of Binghe's blood staining his lips, which he licks off with a satisfied face. 

"Binghe tastes so good," his shizun says with a dreamy expression.

This is too much for Binghe. He is just a man – well, a demon, but his reaction is the same as any man. 

He is immediately scared Qingqiu, who is sitting right there on his lap, will notice the situation going down on his pants. Luo Binghe becomes stiff like a statue, afraid of making any sudden movements. But Qingqiu leans closer, face hovering over his. Binghe's heart thunders in his chest while he waits to see what his shizun will do or say, and then…

Then his shizun doesn’t do anything. 

His body goes limp on top of Binghe, who has to hold him firmly so he doesn’t slip down. The towel around Qingqiu’s body slides slightly, revealing the top of his bare chest. Qingqiu's head falls heavily on his shoulder and he starts to breathe deeply, soundly asleep. 

Binghe sighs, not knowing if he should be relieved or disappointed. 

🐉

"That green eyes

You're the one that I wanted to find"

Green eyes – Coldplay

Chapter Text

"I can feel you take control 

Of who I am and all I've ever known

Loving you's the antidote"

Golden - Harry Styles

🐉

Shen Yuan has hazy memories of what happened. He remembers the water freezing around him, remembers Luo Binghe somehow managing to take him out of the icy bathtub and remembers… Binghe kissing him. Even if Shen Yuan would like to convince himself that the last part was just a dream, the system wouldn’t let him lie to himself. When he wakes up the next day, the system prompt sends him notifications.

[Secret mission completed: using a new method to consume Luo Binghe's yang energy.]

[Congratulations! You won 100 points. Current points accumulated: 6.540.]

Why is he being rewarded for kissing Binghe? This system is too suspicious. Does it give out missions just for entertainment, like Shen Yuan's life is a work of fiction?

Now that Shen Yuan feels healthy again, embarrassment floods him. It is becoming a vicious circle at this point: falling ill → drinking Luo Binghe’s blood → losing control → regretting it. It's a good thing Shen Yuan doesn't remember everything that happened, because he doesn't know how he would face Binghe with all the details from their kiss floating in his mind. He already doesn't know how to face him as it is.

To his relief, Luo Binghe acts as if nothing happened. He prepared breakfast as usual and, when Shen Yuan joins him by the table in the garden, Binghe casually invites him to eat together, sporting the same smile as usual.

Shen Yuan discreetly observes him as they eat. Luo Binghe is acting normal, but perhaps he is hiding his discomfort on the inside. What if he finally realized living with a dragon is too troublesome? That would be reasonable. Binghe cleans the courtyard, cooks for him, takes care of him when he is ill… he is more like a servant than Shen Yuan's actual servant! (Zhuzhi Lang, who was forcefully dismissed by Shen Yuan and is having a day off: Please leave me out of it).

With guilt settling over him, Shen Yuan realizes he can’t just keep taking advantage of Binghe like that. Just because Binghe is a human, and he is a dragon, doesn’t mean that the man has to do everything for him like that.

Shen Yuan clears his throat, unsure of how to start the conversation. Luo Binghe, who is sitting in front of him and was about to eat a biscuit, stops midway the motion of taking the biscuit to his mouth to pay attention to his words.

"Binghe, I'd like you to know…” He makes an effort to look straight at Binghe while finishing. “If you want to leave, you're free to do so." 

The biscuit is crushed to pieces when Binghe clutches his hand into a fist. He looks stricken, his eyes gone wide and darting over Shen Yuan’s face.

"I'd give you your due payment, of course," Shen Yuan quickly adds, noticing that Binghe seems to have disliked something he said. "I'll give you a good amount of gold, enough for you to go anywhere you want and–"

"Is master sending me away?" Luo Binghe interrupts him, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

Crap. Shen Yuan doesn't understand. What did he say wrong? Anyone would be happy to be offered gold!

"No, no. It's not like I want you to leave," Shen Yuan hurries to clarify, helpless at the sight of Binghe's tears. "But I thought you might want to."

Luo Binghe looks just like a kicked puppy, all crestfallen and upset. When Binghe directs his watery gaze at him, Shen Yuan even feels an urge to pat his head.

"Why would master think that?"

"Binghe has been helping me a lot, you should be tired," he explains, suddenly feeling like he is coaxing a child. "Yesterday, what we did, the… you know. Well, it must have bothered you."

Luo Binghe doesn't waste a second to answer. "It didn't bother me," he says without an ounce of doubt. "Did it bother you , master?"

Like turning a switch, Binghe's face, which was pitiful just a moment ago, becomes intense. Shen Yuan doesn't know which look makes him feel more pressured, crying-Binghe or serious-Binghe. 

"How could I be bothered when you were just helping me?" he says reasonably. The problem is not him feeling bothered, but embarrassed. "If anything, I should apologize for what happened."

"Master doesn’t need to apologize," Binghe says firmly. "The kiss didn't bother either of us, so there's no problem."

Hearing the word 'kiss' from Binghe makes it much more real. Shen Yuan gets twice more flustered than he already was. To hide it, he raises his usual protective barrier before his face: an opened fan.

"If the kiss was effective, we could do it again," Binghe goes on, as if he didn't notice Shen Yuan's embarrassment – or he did and decided to use that word again on purpose. "It'd be best not to wait until master gets seriously ill again. We should exchange energy regularly."

Luo Binghe, do you know what you are offering? Just because Binghe presented an offering at first, it does mean he really has to offer himself like this! 

"You don't have to force yourself that much," Shen Yuan says nervously.

"I am not forcing myself. And I do not want to leave your side,” Binghe enumerates in a serious tone. “I won’t regret anything I do for you, master, so rest assured.”

“But–”

Without another word, Luo Binghe stands up from the chair. He contours the table and drops to his knees right in front of Shen Yuan's chair.

He tilts his head up to look at Shen Yuan with a fervent expression. His hair falls over his shoulders in luscious curls, his eyes are rimmed with red from his previous tears and, kneeling like that, he looks deceptively smaller than he actually is. 

Seeing him like this, two simultaneous thoughts emerge in Shen Yuan’s mind. First, that this situation turned pretty awkward very quickly. Second, and most importantly, that Binghe is… so damn handsome. Really, Luo Binghe is just kneeling on the ground, but he does it looking like the hero of a novel. It ain’t fair. Binghe's effect on him is not fair. Shen Yuan’s pulse quickens for no good reason just by looking at him.

"What are you doing?" Shen Yuan asks, hoping his raised fan is enough to hide his lack of cool.

He lies his head on Shen Yuan's lap, acting like a dog trying to gain its owner's attention. 

"I chose you to be my master,” he says. “Everything I'm allowed to do for you, the honor and pleasure is mine. Will master give this humble one's his trust?"

Seeing Luo Binghe acting like this, behaving like a little white lotus, Shen Yuan can't help but feel moved. He instinctively pats Binghe’s head.

"Binghe already has my trust," he says, running his fingers through the soft curls of Binghe’s hair.

This sentence makes him be rewarded with a great smile. 

"Then, allow me."

Luo Binghe pulls at Shen Yuan's hand that is holding his fan and gently, but decisively, takes the object from him. The sudden action makes Shen Yuan dumbfounded. Without his fan, Shen Yuan feels defenseless. His now free hand is taken by Binghe. With an adoring look, Binghe plants a kiss on the back of his hand. 

"As I said, master should absorb my energy daily to prevent getting too weak again," he says with a grin that looks suspiciously mischievous. Wait, daily? Shen Yuan is pretty sure the word he had used before was "regularly", and that's two very different things. "We should start today's treatment." 

Shen Yuan stiffens. With treatment he means kiss, doesn't he? 

[Recurrent mission unlocked: Gain 100 points every time you consume Luo Binghe’s yang energy.]

Even the system is colluding with Binghe! But it doesn’t have to force Shen Yuan by bribing him. It's not like he is against it, to begin with. He is the one being benefited from it, either way. But the hard part is to overcome his inner barriers.

Still holding his hand, Luo Binghe's lips now brush on his wrist. 

"My master," Binghe whispers against his skin, sounding almost breathless.

If Shen Yuan is caught shivering, he will blame it on the cold – though this time, he is feeling almost hot. 

Different from yesterday, he is now healthy and sane, lucid enough to be over-conscious of the situation he is in. He is hyper-aware of Binghe’s movements, watching as the man gradually goes up, lifting the sleeve of Shen Yuan’s arms to leave kisses all over his arm. From the wrist to the inside of his elbow, from the mole on his forearm to the one on his shoulder. It is like the kisses are searing his skin.

"Stop playing around," Shen Yuan scolds in a strained voice. "Are you a dog?"

Luo Binghe smirks, exposing his canines.

"You could say so. Dogs are very loyal to their masters," Binghe says with a playful attitude. He leans his hands on each side of the chair's armrests, caging Shen Yuan, and bends forward until their noses almost touch. "Master said he trusts me. So you can just sit back and relax."

If Shen Yuan knew that saying he trusted Binghe would make the human act this way, he wouldn’t have said anything. When did Binghe get so bold? Bold enough to treat Shen Yuan like a helpless maiden! He is still a mighty dragon spirit, alright? He won't "sit back" and have his hand kissed like a lady.

Before Binghe can kiss him, Shen Yuan beats him to it. He lifts his face and presses their lips together so abruptly that his teeth hurt with the impact. Binghe makes a surprised noise at his sudden initiative. Shen Yuan feels proud for a second, but then… he doesn't really know what to do next. He didn't think that far! His memories of their last kiss are fuzzy, but he tries to remember any useful information on how this… method of exchanging energy works. There must be saliva (as wrong as it sounds). And he also remembers that at some point he bit Binghe when they were kissing.

Guided by his hazy memories, Shen Yuan softly bites Binghe's bottom lip. It's not hard enough to draw blood, but it is enough to make Binghe open his mouth in a gasp. Shen Yuan takes the opportunity to hesitantly extend his tongue. He timidly explores Binghe's mouth, while the human is simply too stunned to respond. 

He kisses Binghe's bottom lip, to make sure the previous bite will heal, before pulling back.

"This should be enough for today," Shen Yuan says.

Binghe's eyes flutter open and he looks down at Shen Yuan, dumbstruck.

"Already?" he says in what sounds almost like a whine.

In the absence of his fan, Shen Yuan covers his now rosy cheeks with the sleeve of his robe.

"I don't want to take too much energy at once," he argues. "We can do… this again tomorrow."

Luo Binghe blinks for a moment, as if still dazed, then slowly smiles.

"As you wish, master."

Luo Binghe never allowed himself to even dream about something like this before. Kissing his shizun. And every single day, at that!

Back when they met, Binghe was only a puppy – quite literally, both in form and in age –, but now he is painfully aware of the nature of his desires for Qingqiu. He once saw him as his shizun and his savior. Now, he sees him as his everything – he wants to owe and be owed by him. It's both a miracle and a curse to be close to his shizun like that. He gets to have him, but only on the surface.

Luo Binghe knows that what he should be worrying about right now are not his feelings or desires, but about his shizun's health. What they are doing is just superficial means that don't actually solve the matter. 

It's obvious Shen Yuan is not telling him everything about his strange illness. Luo Binghe has been secretly in contact with a business partner – that he could also call a friend –, the demon Maobei-jun, asking for help gathering any information about dragon's diseases. Until now, he had no answer. Dragons protected information about their kind as securely as they did with their loot. 

But time was running out. The kisses seem to help push Qingqiu's weakness a little, but on the seventh day the cold makes another appearance. 

They lie together in Shen Yuan's bed, under a heavy fur blanket, Luo Binghe enveloping shizun in his arms to share some of his warmth. The blanket is so thick Binghe is sweating, but Shen Yuan is cold as ice to the touch. Binghe lets Qingqiu lazily kiss him, licking into his mouth like a kitten. He loves when his shizun takes the lead. 

Even though Qingqiu was shy at first, after a few times he seemed to get more used to it. But he never lost his senses again like that time in the bathhouse – Binghe has a theory that this just happens where there is blood involved, so maybe it is a good thing his shizun refuses to take his blood again. Despite kissing an eager-shizun being a very nice experience, Binghe prefers him to be conscious of his own actions when they are doing it.

Luo Binghe notices Qingqiu's movements starting to become more languid, so he takes the lead. Opposite to his shizun's careful kisses, Binghe’s kisses are hungry, demanding and a little messy. He pushes Qingqiu against the pillow and kisses the breath out of him. All the while, he moves his energy, urging the yang to enter Qingqiu's body.

It is hard to stay focused – and not to have any inappropriate physical reactions –, but Binghe prioritizes his shizun's health. He breaks the kiss when Qingqiu gets out of air, but keeps hugging him. His shizun quickly falls asleep, head pillowed on Binghe's chest and a leg thrown over his.

Luo Binghe watches him sleep with his heart heavy with worry. He looks so frail. Years ago, Qingqiu looked all-powerful and dignified. Binghe would look at the green dragon and tremble in awe. He still looks at him in awe with Qingqiu like this, even if he is vulnerable and frazzled, but he wants to see his shizun back to that old splendor.

Suddenly, a cawing can be heard. Looking at the window, Binghe sees his personal crow, Xin Mo, perched on the windowsill. 

Slowly peeling himself from Qingqiu's arms, careful not to wake him, Binghe goes to the window. Xin Mo is holding a parchment on his beak and puts it on Binghe's hand. Pensive, Luo Binghe reads the contents of the letter. Then he scratches Xin Mo's head with a finger.

"Tell him I'll be there," he whispers.

I'll be there, I'll be there, the crow repeats in a loud voice, confirming the message.

"Shh," Binghe hurries to hush him, worried Qingqiu will awake. Thankfully, his shizun is still out like a light. "Go now."

Obeying his orders, Xin Mo flies away in the night. Luo Binghe takes the letter to the fireplace and burns the parchment.

The next day, he tells Qingqiu he needs to go to the city to buy some necessities. His shizun insists on giving him a pouch filled with coins. Binghe doesn't plan on using them, but he takes it anyway under Qingqiu's insistence. His shizun seems to still be under the illusion that Binghe has no means to fend for himself. Even though he has a small fortune in the Demon's Realm that he accumulated throughout the years by owning his own business, Binghe can't tell his shizun that yet. 

"Will master give me a farewell kiss?" he asks slyly before leaving. Of course, making sure his shizun has enough energy while he is gone is not his only intention.

"En, take care out there," his shizun says as he tilts his head up and pecks at Binghe's lips.

Qingqiu doesn't even hesitate to touch him anymore, and the knowledge of it makes Binghe almost go feral. Greedy as he is, Binghe can't leave with just a peck. He deepens the kiss, trying to imprint Shen Yuan's taste in his memory to keep with him while he is away. 

Although he could keep going forever, Binghe reluctantly pulls away eventually. "I'll be back soon," he promises.

He is not planning to spend too long away from his shizun. Luo Binghe hurries to the meeting point, on the furthest side of the forest. After the bamboos give place to pine trees, there is a river – the meeting pointing Maobei-jun had agreed with him. Sitting in front of the river there is a snow tiger with a little sparrow perched on the top of his head. When they see Binghe arrive, the tiger turns into a tall demon with a blue mark on his forehead and the bird into a smaller man with his hair up in a bun.

"Maobei-jun," Binghe greets the tiger demon and then nods at the bird spirit. "Shang Qinghua."

Practical and apathetic as ever, Maobei skips the pleasantries and goes straight to business.

"My subordinate said he had the information my lord was searching for," Maobei-jun says plainly.

Shang Qinghua puffs his cheeks the moment he is called ‘subordinate’, as if offended by the titles Luo Binghe is not entirely sure of the nature between Maobei and Qinghua, but he knows that, despite Maobei’s cold character, he treats the little bird with unusual care. The tiger and the sparrow are always together, to the point Binghe is not surprised that Qinghua also showed up to the conversation.

“Just like my king said, I can tell you a thing or two about dragons,” Shan Qinghua declares and giggles to himself. "I have my own information system.”

Luo Binghe doesn’t really care about how Qinghua got the information. Since Maobei keeps the bird by his side, Binghe knows that he can be trusted.

"So do you know what could help a sick dragon?" he asks anxiously. 

"I wouldn't say a dragon gets sick. Their spiritual power just gets unstable with time," Shang Qinghua says. "After their yang energy is gone, they perish. It’s the nature of things.”

The word perish is like a weight pressing on top of Binghe’s chest. It makes his heart go painfully heavy, to the point that he feels like it may break with more pressure. Unaware of the inner turmoil that his words inflicted on Luo Binghe, Shan Qinghua continues.

“Dragons are not supposed to live long, anyway. Legends say the heavens gave the dragons more power than other spirits so they could protect the humans,” the sparrow says. “But on the other hand, they wouldn’t be able to have long lives. It is the price of bearing such strong powers.”

Luo Binghe presses a fist to his chest, trying to contain the pain stinging his heart. Anguish and anger wash over him – anguish over the possibility of Qingqiu’s being in danger, and anger directed to the heavens, if there even is such a thing, for inflicting this fate on his shizun.

"Is there a way to save a dragon?" Binghe asks, his voice sounding distant to his own ears because of how lightheaded he feels.

"No, dragons can’t be saved," Shan Qinghua answers casually, oblivious to the fact that Luo Binghe almost breaks apart when hearing this. "But they can extend their lives through consumption of yang energy. Though maybe Lord Luo already knew this.” The sparrow smiles cheekily. "That's why since ancient times, dragons always had plenty of bed warmers."

"Bed warmers?" Luo Binghe repeats dully, his mind still processing the information.

"Yes, dual cultivation is one of the most effective methods to balance a dragon’s qi . But since they absorb their partners' yang energy, most humans end up dying quickly, therefore dragons usually have many partners, keeping them as bed warmers," the bird says cheerily, like he is enjoying being the bearer of knowledge, even though is a knowledge that brings Binghe nothing but despair. "Some dragons also used to eat humans, but that's an obsolete practice. Instead, drinking blood is a more common practice."

Luo Binghe's mind is racing from imagining his shizun with various partners, the so-called “bed warmers”. If possible, he wanted to be the only partner in Qingqiu’s life one day, but… was it just an unattainable dream?  Binghe doesn't know if he would be able to sit back and see his shizun having a harem – but, if it was the only option to keep him alive, he wouldn’t be able to oppose it either.

"Do they really need to have that many bed warmers?" Binghe asks frantically. "There's no way to extend their lives permanently?"

Finally noticing Binghe's agitation, Shan Qinghua hesitates. He shoots a questioning glance at Maobei-jun. The tiger demon, who so far was just listening stoically in silence, pats his shoulder, indicating the sparrow to continue.

"Not that I know. The bed warmers are the best option, but…" The bird looks up for a moment, as though he is looking at something no one can see, then hums to himself. "Right, demons have more yang energy than other creatures. This energy is constantly restored. So if a dragon has relations with a demon, they might not need other partners."

Luo Binghe sighs, finally being able to breathe again. It was not a solution, but it was still better than the other scenario – Qingqiu having a harem would really be too much for him. Binghe spent years trying to become more powerful for his shizun, but in the end, he was not good enough. If this is the one thing he can give him, Binghe will find a way to provide him with all the yang energy possible.

"Thanks for the information," he tells Shan Qinghua, who beams at the recognition and bows to him in response. "Maobei, I trust business is doing well?"

"You don't need to concern yourself," the tiger demon guarantees succinctly.

Not wanting to waste more time away from his shizun, Luo Binghe bids farewell to the two. 

To at least keep half of his word to Qingqiu, he still wants to visit the town like he said he would and buy some ingredients to cook for his shizun. Cooking for Qingqiu is something he always wanted to do. When he was a puppy, his shizun would buy him food and talk about his favorite dishes. Now, after years of practicing how to cook, Binghe can see his shizun enjoying the food he makes – it is incredibly gratifying. 

Looking forward to dinner time, Luo Binghe hurries to the city so he can soon go home to his shizun.

After Luo Binghe leaves, Shang Qinghua receives a system notification.

[Congratulations on completing the mission! Your reward of…]

Shang Qinghua absentmindedly looks away from the screen. After years of this, he does not care about how many points he collects anymore.

What did I have to be the one telling him this stuff? he wonders. This was truly a strange mission. Demons and dragons… what is it to a simple bird spirit like him? He doesn't have anything to do with it.

"What is it, A-Hua?" Maobei asks, grabbing Sha Qinghua's shoulders to get his attention.

"Nothing, my king," he answers quickly. 

Maobei furrows his thick brows, looking displeased. "A-Hua is distracted."

With a smile, Shang Qinghua turns into his sparrow form. He flies in a circle around Maobei's body before hovering in front of his face and pressing his beak to his king's nose.

I am now paying attention to my king, Shan Qinghua says.

Maobei huffs to show exasperation, even though the sparrow caught the slight twitch on the demon’s lips, betraying his satisfaction.

"Let's go home,” the man says coldly and promptly turns into a white tiger.

Shan Qinghua lands comfortably on the head of the tiger. Maobei uses his power to open a portal and soon a red light starts flickering in front of the river, expanding into a big circle. The tiger, carrying the little bird with him, jumps on the swirling portal, taking them both back to the Demon Realm.

"My lord, I still don't trust that human."

Zhuzhi Lang, apparently making use of Luo Binghe's visit to town, decided to share his suspicions again.

Shen Yuan reclines against his chair, re-reading a book just for lack of anything else to do, but he can’t really get into it, no matter how interesting the plot is. He keeps wondering what Binghe is doing or when he will come back. Before, he could go days by himself, just reading or even not doing anything at all. But now, he feels bored. It's like Binghe's absence makes everything dull. And he is only gone for a few hours! When did Shen Yuan get so used to his company? 

"You worry too much," Shen Yuan tells him. "Binghe is very honorable and kind."

Shen Yuan uses his powers to snatch a leaf out of a tree. He makes it fly to his hands and uses it as a bookmaker, marking the page of his book before closing it.

"In front of you, my lord,” Zhuzhi Lang counters. “But his real intentions of coming here are unknown."

Shen Yuan doesn't give ears to the snake spirit's accusations. He knows Zhuzhi Lang means well, but, for some reason, it annoys him somewhat, making him grow defensive of Luo Binghe. 

"Binghe did nothing but help me," Shen Yuan argues as he taps his fan impatiently on the cover of the book. "If anything, I'm the one taking advantage of him."

"About that…" Zhuzhi Lang hesitates. "I couldn't help but notice that my lord has been consuming the human's energy."

Crap, Shen Yuan surely hopes his servant didn't see anything he shouldn't have. But Zhuzhi Lang barely spends time in the courtyard as of late – thinking about it, he has been going out of the courtyard more frequently, as if to purposefully give them some privacy.

"En," Shen Yuan agrees noncommittally.

"I thought my lord said he wouldn't feed from humans again after last time."

With ‘last time’, Zhuzhi Lang probably refers to something that happened before he transmigrated. Since he only has a few fragmented memories of the original owner of the body, Shen Yuan doesn't really know what Zhuzhi Lang is referring to.

"Ah, right, that." He opens his fan to conceal how lost he is on the matter. "Why did I say that again?"

If Zhuzhi Lang suspects his sudden amnesia, he doesn't comment on it. Patiently, he explains it to him.

"My lord said he didn't want to see the humans die," he says calmly. 

This can only mean one thing: the original goods killed humans before. It is not that surprising, considering he lived so long. But Shen Yuan methods are different! Different from the previous owner of the body, he is not eating anyone.

"Or did my lord change his mind? Is the plan to take Luo Binghe’s life?" Zhuzhi Lang asks, looking as if he would be totally on board with that. Please, don't go supporting murder, little snake! 

"No, no!" Shen Yuan shakes his head, scandalized. "What makes you think that? Does it look like I'm going to eat him?"

Zhuzhi Lang opens an awkward lopsided grin, as though he thinks Shen Yuan made a joke but is uncertain if he should laugh or not. 

"Of course you would never do something so barbarous. My lord has never eaten anyone."

Shen Yuan raises his eyebrows. "So how did those humans die?"

The snake spirit looks troubled. He seems to be thinking that it is a trick question and Shen Yuan will scold him by saying something like I knew that already! Are you trying to give your own boss a lesson?. Shen Yuan gestures with his fan, encouraging him to continue.

"I presume my lord consumed their yang energy just like he is doing with Luo Binghe," Zhuzhi Lang answers at last. "Therefore, the humans died after their energies were depleted."

“Just like I am doing with Binghe,” Shen Yuan repeats numbly. “Things like… exchanging body fluids?”

Zhuzhi Lang nods. “Yes. After all, humans have very limited energy.”

No fucking way. Is Zhuzhi Lang saying that humans can die from this method? That Binghe, as well, can die from what Shen Yuan did? No no no. 

System, he calls in the midst of his spiraling to despair. Is what he said true? Do humans die from having their yang energy consumed?

[This is correct, humans will eventually die without a minimal amount of energy.]

Fuck. This means Shen Yuan has been slowly but surely killing Luo Binghe! 

The news makes him immediately feel sick. He imagines Binghe with his energy dried up, his smile gone, his life gone, and Shen Yuan wants to throw up.

You told me Binghe would not get hurt! he mentally yells to the system. Why did you lie to me?

[The system does not lie.]

There is so way Shen Yuan can trust it. Never trust the system, kids! 

How he won't get hurt if all humans end up DEAD that by doing this stuff? he keeps screaming. That's self-contradictory!

[There are things you do not understand yet.]

Ha, is this the best excuse it can give? Shen Yuan understands it pretty well! Maybe the system is purposefully trying to get rid of Luo Binghe by making Shen Yuan consume his energy. All those missions about consuming Binghe’s energy are now sounding like a well-fabricated lie. 

Does the system consider Binghe a villain? It gave Shen Yuan missions to deal with “villains” before, but they were usually real scumbags or unhinged demons – and also he never had to actually kill them. But why would the system want to eliminate Luo Binghe, of all people? He is not a scumbag or a demon. And most importantly, he is a good person.

Don't even try to push missions to me anymore, he warns the system resolutely. I will not do anything to harm Binghe.

[...]

[Please consider your decisions wisely.]

Shen Yuan doesn't care to give the system any attention anymore. What he cares the most right now is if Binghe is well. Shen Yuan had taken a lot of his energy, what if Binghe was already weakened and he didn't even notice it?

But before he can worry about that any longer, something else calls his attention. His dragon instincts catch a shift of power in the surroundings. It is like a distant wave, disturbing the natural flow of energy and causing a reverberation in the air.

"There is an abnormal power in the forest,” Zhuzhi Lang points out. “It seems demonic activity, like a portal to the Demonic Realm was opened."

"I've also noticed," Shen Yuan says. "What would demons be doing in here?"

Zhuzhi Lang bows his head. "I will go check, my lord."

Shen Yuan stands. "I'll go as well."

"My lord doesn't need to strain himself."

"I said I'm going. I'm feeling fine today," he insists. "You check the south, I'll go north." 

The demons might mean no harm, but you can never be too careful. Is way too suspicious for a portal to be opening in a place a dragon spirit is living. Luo Binghe is still out there. What if he encounters any danger on the way? Of course not all demons go attacking humans, but it is better to be safe than sorry.

In his dragon form, Shen Yuan flies through the woods as swiftly as flowing water. He chooses to keep his body small, a size perfect to move nimbly through the trees. When he is almost at the forest border, where the trees give way to the road that leads to the city, Shen Yuan senses demonic energy. 

He quickly hides among the trees, his green body camouflaged by the leaves, and cautiously keeps watch. Sounds of steps approach from the road. Soon the silhouette of a person can be seen getting closer, until it gets close enough for Shen Yuan to see them clearly. Unexpectedly, it is Luo Binghe.

Weird, Shen Yuan could swear he sensed the presence of demonic energy. Maybe it was just the worry making him imagine things. 

Luo Binghe is carrying a basket with food in it, humming as he walks. Shen Yuan observes him from above for a moment. Binghe looks the same as ever, but he knows appearances are deceptive. There is no way to see how much energy Binghe still had.

His heart squeezes painfully while he looks at Binghe. Shen Yuan wishes he could stay like this, healthy and away from harm – and if he is the one harming Binghe, then there is only one thing he can do. At this moment, Shen Yuan makes a decision. 

Shen Yuan flies down, appearing before Binghe. Seeing him, the human jolts in surprise before opening a delighted smile. Shen Yuan settles on Binghe's shoulder, small enough to do so, and pushes his head against his cheek in greeting.

"Master." Binghe raises a hand to touch him and Shen Yuan allows himself to be caressed. If it was anyone else, he would’ve thought that it was unmannerly to pet a dragon spirit like that. But since it is Binghe, Shen Yuan welcomes his touch. "Why is master here? Is everything alright?"

Not wanting to alarm him, Shen Yuan decides not to say anything about the demonic energy in the forest. 

I just decided to meet you on the way, Shen Yuan communicates.

If possible, Luo Binghe smiles even brighter. "Oh, so master just missed me."

Shen Yuan snorts, despite what Binghe said being half-true. He did miss Binghe, but that is not something that needs to be confessed.

What nonsense, he answers, flying off Binghe's shoulder and opting to drift in the air beside him.

Luo Binghe laughs good-naturedly. "Alright. Then I'm the only one who missed you."

You missed me? Shen Yuan tries not to show any reaction to that, but his tail instinctively sways without his permission. We were just apart for a short time.

"I miss master every moment we are apart. I’ve already spent too long away from you," Binghe says. Before Shen Yuan can ask what he means by that, Binghe shakes his head. "But I'm happy now that master came to welcome me back home."

The comment stabs Shen Yuan with guilt, especially because of what he is planning to do. Luo Binghe came to him saying he had no home, and now he is calling Shen Yuan's place ‘home’. How heart-breaking would it be to take this way from him. But Shen Yuan has no choice. 

Binghe, can I give you a ride? he offers.

He tilts his head in surprise. "A ride? But if someone sees us..."

That's not a problem anymore. Shen Yuan swiftly transforms. His body slowly gets bigger, stretching until it is long enough to be the side of a house. Let me take you flying.

Luo Binghe stares at the dragon’s body in awe, his eyes practically sparkling. He approaches Shen Yuan and puts a hand against his snout. Like this, his hand looks comically small in comparison to Shen Yuan's huge dragon head.

"Can I really?" Binghe asks, his voice shaking with excitement.

Just come on up already, Shen Yuan urges. I know you want to ride me.

Wait… Shen Yuan shouldn't have phrased it like that. Good thing he is the only one who notices the possible double entendre in the sentence. Luo Binghe is too excited to notice anything. He ever so carefully climbs the dragon’s body, like he is afraid of hurting him in the process. Shen Yuan twists his head to look at him.

Go on, I'm not going to break, he reassures. If there is one thing good about dragon's bodies, it is that they are resistant. Something Shen Yuan learned the hard way the first time he tried to fly, falling multiple times before getting the hang of it. Hang on tight.

When Luo Binghe is settled, legs securely wrapped around him and hands holding his horns, Shen Yuan takes flight. He leaves the ground at a measured speed not to scare the human, and keeps a steady pace after they are high above the trees. The sun is setting in the horizon, painting the sky with orange and pink hues. When they fly through the clouds, it is almost as if they are immersed in those colors, as though they are becoming one with the sky.

With Binghe's weight on top of him, his presence comforting, this is the best flight Shen Yuan ever had. He has seen many beautiful landscapes in this world while flying, but, until now, all of them he saw alone. There was a single different occasion when someone else flew with him, a small puppy in his back… but it was so long ago, he bets the little dragon doesn’t even remember him anymore.

Shen Yuan feels Binghe leaning against his neck, wrapping his arms around him. 

"Shizun," he murmurs as he rubs his head against the fur. But with the wind howling in his ears, Shen Yuan isn’t able to hear him. "It's been so long."

After flying for a while, Shen Yuan slides down into the air. Cautiously, he lands on the empty and flat surface of a cliff. 

Luo Binghe gets down and looks around confusedly. 

"This is near Cang Qiong city, master."

Shen Yuan transforms back to his human form, but doesn’t say anything. Not bearing to look at Luo Binghe, he looks at the scenery. From the top of the cliff, the bamboo forest is just a smudge of green far away. A place so small, but that grew to be so special to Shen Yuan – no, it wasn’t the bamboo forest or the courtyard that are special. It was…

"Did master come here to see the view?" Binghe asks. 

Shen Yuan sighs. "It sure is beautiful."

"Yes, it is,” Luo Binghe agrees. But when Shen Yuan turns to him, he realizes that Binghe has been looking only at him the whole time. 

The sunset drapes over them. The sunlight washes Binghe’s skin in a golden light, like the man himself is shining from within. Luo Binghe smiles at him and, not for the first time, Shen Yuan is blinded by how bright and warm he is. 

But, as the poem goes, nothing gold can stay.

🐉

"You're so golden

I don't wanna be alone

(...)

And I know that you're scared

Because hearts get broken"

Golden - Harry Styles

Chapter Text

“What if to love and be loved is not enough?

What if I fall and can't bear to get up?

I wish, for once, we could stay gold”

Stay gold - First Aid Kit

🐉

The wind at the top of the cliff makes Shen Yuan's green robes flutter. Luo Binghe's hair as well becomes messed up by the strong wind, and Shen Yuan wants to reach out and gather those dark curls in his hands.

But he doesn't. He maintains a distance from Luo Binghe, traces an invisible line between them – a line that he knows he can’t cross again from now on.

"If you follow the road down the cliff, you will arrive at the city of Cang Qiong," Shen Yuan says as if he is commenting on the weather. 

"I know." Luo Binghe smiles candidly. "Master wants to visit the city together?"

Shen Yuan takes a deep breath. The air at the cliff is clean and fresh, but his lungs feel stuffy.

"No," he says curtly. "Not together. Binghe will go alone."

Binghe's smile freezes on his face.

"I don't understand," he says, sounding so unsuspecting, so trusting, that Shen Yuan wants to bite his own tongue before continuing to talk.

"I will fly back to the courtyard and you will go to the city," Shen Yuan speaks every word with difficulty. "It's time we go different ways."

This effectively wipes the smile off Binghe's face. His expression clouds over, like a sunny day being obscured by rainy clouds.

"Why would you say that?" Binghe asks in a choked voice. His eyes dart nervously over Shen Yuan's face, as if desperately trying to look for a sign that he is joking. 

Taking his fan out of his sleeve, Shen Yuan uses it to cover his mouth. He can't allow Binghe to see his bottom lip wobbling.

"We would have to part sooner or later," Shen Yuan says, trying to harden both his voice and his heart. He can’t allow himself to waver – this is for Binghe’s sake. For his safety. "It's better for you to stay with your own kind."

It is as if words punched the air out of Binghe. His breathing becomes so labored Shen Yuan can hear it even from a distance, like Binghe is about to hyperventilate. Shen Yuan observes him with concern, wanting to check up on him, but mindful not to cross the invisible line that he established.

"No, wh– why are you telling me this again?" Binghe stammers, his gaze lost as if he's talking to himself. "Why are you always pushing me away?"

Tears flood Binghe's eyes. His eyes become frighteningly red, as if Luo Binghe is fighting against the tears.

"Binghe…" Shen Yuan feels miserable, but there is nothing he can say to soothe him. 

Hearing his name, it is like Luo Binghe found a silver lining. He takes a quivering step in Shen Yuan's direction.

"Don't make me leave, please," Binghe pleads. He extends his arms as if wanting to hold Shen Yuan, but is afraid to do so. Before, Binghe never hesitated to touch him – it’s as though he can also feel the line separating them. “I don’t care about ‘my kind’ or about anyone else. I just want to stay with you."

Soon, Binghe will realize his life is better without Shen Yuan in it. He will be able to live normally, without the threat of having his life taken by the dragon. Maybe he will even forget him, after a few years. This is for the best, Shen Yuan thinks, trying to convince himself not to turn back on his decision.

"We don’t belong to the same place, Binghe," Shen Yuan says unwaveringly, but the knuckles of his hand go white with how tightly he is clutching the fan.

Binghe’s arms drop to his sides.

"I belong to you,” he says.

“No, you don’t.” Shen Yuan shuts his eyes firmly. “From the beginning, I never wanted your sacrifice. Nothing good could come out of it." 

Even with his eyes closed, Shen Yuan can’t ignore Binghe’s reaction. He can hear Binghe loudly shallowing a sob, can feel him taking a step closer – almost close enough to touch, but still unable to cross the barrier Shen Yuan had erected between them with just a few words.

"Master once asked what I wished for,” Binghe says nervously. “Can I ask for it now?"

Hesitantly, Shen Yuan opens his eyes. His gaze meets Binghe’s and Shen Yuan has trouble breathing steadily when he sees the emotion overflowing from them.

"What is it?" he asks falteringly.

"There is only one thing I want.” Finally, Luo Binghe breaks the space between them. Ever so lightly, he takes Shen Yuan’s hands in his. "And is to be with you."

Binghe’s hands, holding his, tremble. Shen Yuan allows him to enjoy their warmth one last time. Just for five seconds, he decides. Mentally, he counts to five – the last seconds in which he will bask in Binghe’s golden warmth. When the time is over, he pulls his hands away.

"I can't give you that,” he states brusquely, sounding cruel to his own ears. But that is a necessary cruelty. Just by acting like that he would be able to cut all ties with Binghe – actually, he was doing him a favor.

Binghe stares unblinkingly at him, his eyes red. Throughout the whole conversation, Binghe’s eyes had been watery, like he has been holding back the tears. But at this moment, despite his effort, a few tears escape and flow down his cheeks.

"Right. That was presumptuous of me.” Luo Binghe emits a laugh devoid of emotion, forcefully rubbing at his cheek to dry his tears. “This humble one apologizes for being greedy."

Shen Yuan is distraught by Binghe’s self-deprecating tone. He is the one in the wrong! It is Shen Yuan who was putting Binghe’s life in danger, hurting him. If someone should be blaming himself it is him, not Luo Binghe.

"I won't ask for anything from now on,” Binghe says, growing visibly desperate. “Just allow me to help you, that is enough for me. I will not overstep any boundaries again. Trust me, please," he begs. “You said you trusted me. So please… please. ”

Binghe keeps repeating please like a chant, almost like he doesn’t know exactly what to plead for anymore, just hanging on to anything he can. This is not a matter of whether or not Shen Yuan trusts him. He does, he truly does. But he doesn’t trust Luo Binghe will be safe with him. 

As much as Binghe wants to help him, Shen Yuan also wants to help him. And Binghe sacrificing his life for him is not something he remotely wants.

"I don’t want your help, Binghe," he says. 

His sentence seems to break Binghe’s last thread of hope. He blinks repeatedly, and more tears flow down.

"Of course I will make sure to repay you accordingly for all you did for me,” Shen Yuan adds, swallowing with difficulty. “I'll have Zhuzhi Lang send you some gold later, together with the things you left at the house."

Binghe’s mouth twitches and he opens a hollow smile.

"I don't want to be paid for helping you," he says in an empty tone. "All I did was because of my feelings for you."

Shen Yuan bites his lips behind his fan, hard enough that it bleeds. 

Binghe’s feelings… is it obvious what kind of feelings he is referring to. This is the worst timing ever to find out about it. After all the kisses they shared, the tenderness with which Binghe treated him, it should have been obvious that those feelings existed. But Binghe said it was all just to help him, and foolishly, Shen Yuan believed. Or maybe he just wanted to believe him, to make things less complicated. As if it wasn’t complicated, to begin with.

"I am sorry,” Shen Yuan whispers, although he knows that just saying this is not enough.

He can’t bring himself to look at Luo Binghe again. The last thing he sees before turning away is Binghe’s tears. 

Shen Yuan briskly transforms into his dragon form. Jumping from the cliff, he flies away. The green dragon takes to the skies, leaving Binghe behind.

It is the second time it has happened. Luo Binghe should've been able to take it better. But no, when his shizun abandons him again, Luo Binghe feels even worse than the first time.

At first, it is like he is being discarded, thrown out. The ground is swept beneath his feet and he is sucked by an abyss. In the middle of the void that settles inside him, the same sentences keep echoing back at him. It's better for you to stay with your own kind. I don’t want your help. I am sorry. He keeps hearing Qingqiu’s rejections, again and again. 

Luo Binghe stands on that cliff, the exact same place where his shizun had saved him all those years ago, and sees the green dragon flying again, but this time, instead of coming to catch him, is going away from him.

He keeps looking at the horizon long after the dragon disappears and he just stays there, staring vacantly at the sky until the sunset is replaced by the moon. After a while, just like the sky has darkened, Binghe also feels darkness has settled inside him and feels nothing, growing numb.

Qingqiu’s rejection was clear. Binghe said he wants him, and his shizun doesn’t want him back. And that is a matter of course. Binghe shouldn’t have presumed that his feelings might be returned. But how could he just keep silent when his feelings are so loud? How could he just watch the person he pinned for years go away without saying anything? 

Maybe Qingqiu had already noticed his feelings and that is why he left. Binghe reached for more than he could have. He couldn’t hide how he felt when he touched shizun, when he kissed him, when merely looked at him. Qingqiu must have seen it, and he pulled back before Binghe's greediness for him could grow more uncontrollable than it already is. His shizun probably got tired of having to be intimate with Binghe to get his energy. Perhaps he would go looking for another way. Bed warmers? No, Binghe doesn’t even want to think about it.

Just as his shizun told him to, Luo Binghe goes down the cliff. All the way to his hometown, to the place he once lived with shizun when he was only twelve years old and still naive. He reserves a room in the same inn they stayed in back then. 

In the past, Binghe would sleep in the same bed as his shizun, a small dog curled around Qingqiu’s tail. In the present, he lies alone in bed. Later, he will have to go back to the Demon Realm. He will have to manage his businesses, check on his impending obligations, and go on with his life. But not now. Now he just stares blankly at the ceiling, his eyes dry, already exhausted from tears.

He spends a whole day like this, lifeless, unable to do anything but remember the moments he spent with Qingqiu during the last month.

On the second day, he can’t just stay still anymore.

For a moment, Luo Binghe almost forgot about the dragon’s conditions. But when he remembers, he starts panicking for a whole different reason.

What does it matter if he is hurting? His shizun’s pain is way more important than this. Qingqiu is the kind of person who wouldn’t even accept food if Binghe didn’t insist on him, and convincing him to take his energy was even harder. Would he really look for bed warmers? There was no possibility of this happening. Knowing him, Qingqiu was just going to endure his sickness quietly all by himself. If Luo Binghe wasn’t there to forcefully feed him his energy, making sure he was alive, who the hell was going to do it? This way, Qingqiu would just…

Dragons are not supposed to live long, anyway. Binghe remembers Sha Qinghua’s words with an impending sense of doom. After their yang energy is gone, they perish. It’s the nature of things.

Luo Binghe did not give a single fuck about the nature of things. He will change nature with his own bare hands if he needs to.

With a fresh resolve, Luo Binghe makes his way back to the bamboo forest. This time, he will introduce himself properly to Qingqiu. He will tell him that he is a half-demon. Reveal he was once his dizi. His shizun already rejected him once, what more damage telling the truth can do? 

Luo Binghe will go to Qingqiu as his true self – not asking to be accepted, but tolerated at best. Just enough so he can help his shizun.

When he gets to the courtyard, it all looks the same as it was before he had left – the table where they used to eat breakfast, the chambers where he slept hearing shizun's breathing next room, the bathhouse where they had their first kiss –, but only on the outside. Inside, it is not the same. 

It is all empty. Gone is the furniture, the food, Qingqiu's book collection and, most importantly, gone is his shizun.

Eight years, that is the time Binghe spent searching for Qingqiu after their first separation. And now, his shizun had left without a trace, like a thread of smoke Binghe can never grasp. How long would Binghe take to find him again? Does Qingqiu even want to be found?

The knowledge that things can't go back to what they were settles on Luo Binghe like a heavy boulder. He walks back to the inn in a dazed state, not knowing where to go now that he can’t go back to his shizun.

Binghe enters his room automatically, falls on the bed and closes his eyes, wanting to sleep for the next ten years, if it was possible. But then he immediately opens his eyes again. 

There is something different in the room: two wooden boxes await him. And only one person could have sent them.

Jumping back to his feet, Luo Binghe opens the boxes hurriedly. In the first one, there is gold, jade stones and other jewels. By the looks of it, they must be some of the best items from the green dragon’s treasure. In the other box, there are Binghe's personal belongings that he had left at the house.

Not wasting a second more, Luo Binghe is out of the room in an instant. In his demon form, it is easy to catch the scent he is looking for: a snake. 

Following the scent of the snake spirit, he runs faster than ever in his life, not even bothering if any human sees the abnormal sight of a huge dog running through the streets. The scent leads him to a busy street. Among the crowd, Binghe almost loses the trail. But then, his sensitive nose catches that smell again coming from a man in green robes. 

Luo Binghe bites the hem of the man's robes and, before the other one can react, pulls him to a quiet alley. When they are alone, Binghe turns back to his human form, not caring enough to hide the red demon mark on his forehead.

Zhuzhi Lang looks unsurprised by his appearance.

"So you were a dog," he remarks complacently. "I knew there was something off about you."

Binghe snarls. "Speak for yourself, snake."

The snake in question crosses his arms.

"At least I'm not a demon," he retorts. "I told my lord that you could not be trusted."

Did Zhuzhi Lang guess Binghe was a demon and told his suspicions to Qingqiu? If this meddlesome snake had interfered between them, Binghe would skin him alive.

"What did you tell him?" Luo Binghe asks, baring his teeth.

"I don't have anything to do with whatever happened between you, if that's what you're thinking," Zhuzhi Lang says plainly with an unamused expression. "Qingqiu-jun was concerned that he would be hurting a human if he kept consuming your energy. Now I believe there was no need for that, since, all along, you weren’t even human."

Luo Binghe narrows his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Qingqiu-jun believed that consuming your energy would kill you. And my lord is against killing humans." Zhuzi Lang clicks his tongue in disdain. "But I guess that wouldn't have been a problem with you."

His shizun was worried about hurting him? Could it be this the reason he had pushed Binghe away?

The information makes Binghe's head buzz. If that is true, it could mean… so many important things. That Qingqiu cares about him. That maybe, just maybe he didn't really want Binghe to leave. But also, that Qingqiu would rather let himself die than put someone else's life in danger. And that right at this moment he can be weak somewhere, victim to his brutal cold yin.

Abruptly, Luo Binghe grips Zhuzhi Lang's shoulders.

"Where is he?" he demands.

"My lord has already cut all ties with you." Displeased, the snake brushes Binghe's hands off. "Your things were delivered, together with more than fair payment. There is no reason for you to see him again."

"No reason." Binghe laughs sardonically. "And who is going to help him when he is weak? You ?"

"Yes, it is my job," Zhuzhi Lang states calmly.

"But you can't help him as I can." Binghe raises his eyebrows challengingly, knowing he has a point that cannot be refuted. "Snake spirits have yin nature, isn't that right?" 

"And why does it concern you?" the snake deadpans. "Do you think I believe a demon would help Qingqiu without any ulterior motives? You obviously must want something from him."

"What I want the most is to see him well."

Zhuzhi Lang hisses, as though he did not believe a word he said. Binghe doesn't care if the snake believes him or not, but he is the only one that can help him right now. And if it is for his shizun, Binghe is not above begging.

"Listen, I swear I just want to help him." Binghe puts down his aggressive front and just speaks honestly. "If you care about him, please tell me where he is."

Zhuzhi Lang studies Binghe for a moment with his slitted pupils. His face is apathetic, but he must see something in Binghe's face, because in the end he sighs.

"If you even try to do anything to him, I will kill you myself."

The threat sounds sweet to Binghe's ears, since it means the snake gave in and he is one step closer to finding his shizun.

"I'd rather kill myself first than hurt him," he promises. 

Zhuzhi Lang sighs. "I can tell you where my lord went, but that does not mean you will be able to find him. Not even I could accompany him there."

"Try me."

All of his body is tense as he waits, as though he is a stretched bow ready to go flying in Qingqiu's direction.

"Qingqiu went to a place only a dragon could go," Zhuzhi Lang says. "His personal cave."

A dragon's cave is their most sacred, and secret, place. It is where they hide their loots. The cave is usually filled with magic arrays, forbidding anyone but the owner to enter. But few people can actually find the cave to begin with.

Qingqiu went to his cave alone. Zhuzhi Lang could only tell Luo Binghe the general location of the cave, since not even he had seen the place with his own eyes. The cave lies hidden somewhere in Mountain Qing Jing.

It is an ideal place for a dragon, but a hindrance to Luo Binghe. If he tried to climb the mountains, it could take numerous days to arrive at the top  – if he even managed it all, since the mountains are covered in slippery ice regardless of the season. Opening a portal would also be impossible, since the mountain range is guarded against any type of demonic power.

Binghe is not planning to give up though. He will just have to borrow some wings.

Do I look like I could carry a full-grown man on my back?  

Shang Qinghua chirps, flapping his small wings as if to prove his point.

"I was not referring to you," Luo Binghe explains. "But I thought maybe you would know someone that could help."

Although he didn't want to waste his time with the extra travel, Binghe had to go to the Demon Realm. He summoned Maobei-jun and his little sparrow to the office of one of his businesses, a "traveling agency" of sorts where demons had to go negotiate conditions and payment to travel to the human society – not all demons can open portals to the other realm, and few should be allowed to go there in case they wrack havoc, so Binghe's business is useful to both sides.

Shang Qinghua flies from the top of Maobei-jun's head, landing on a chair, and goes back to his human form.

"According to my… system of information, there is someone that could help," the sparrow tells Binghe. "But she is an elusive person. It's hard to say if she would agree."

Luo Binghe leans on his chair urgently. "Who is it?" 

"You must know her wife," Sha Qinghua says. "She is one of your workers, Sha Hualing."

As it turns out, Sha Hualing's wife, Liu Mingyan, is a purple phoenix. She is rumored to be an animal spirit of rare beauty, but few people have ever seen her. Convincing her to help, though, is not as hard as Shang Qinghua made it sound.

Luo Binghe explains the situation to Sha Hualing, asking the fox demon to talk with her wife. She doesn't take long to come back to his office accompanied by a woman wearing a purple veil over her face.

"I will agree to help you with one condition," Liu Mingyan says.

Luo Binghe is ready to agree with anything the phoenix spirit asks. "There is no condition I wouldn't agree with to be able to get that person."

Liu Mingyan immediately takes a notebook and a feather from the sleeve of her robes.

"That was a good answer," she mutters to herself as she writes something down. "Fine. I will do it."

Sha Hualing elbows Liu Mingyan. "The condition?"

"Oh, I am glad if I can just observe and get some material for my novel," Liu Mingyan says as she stores her notebook back on her sleeves. "We shall go. There is no time to waste."

The phoenix flies elegantly amidst the snow, her purple feathers contrasting with the bleak whiteness around her. She lands with grace on Qing Jing Mountain, her sharp nails craving on the icy ground. 

A black dog descends from the back of her majestic wings. Luo Binghe had assumed his smallest form not to cause Liu Mingyan much discomfort and not to incur in Sha Hualing's wraith by inadvertently touching her wife more than necessary – not that Binghe would want that either.

I can only take you this far, Liu Mingyan tells him.

Luo Binghe goes back to his human form and turns to thank her.

"Your help was much appreciated," he says, bowing his head. "I will find the rest of the way by myself."

I wish you luck, Liu Mingyan responds. And a prosperous relationship.

… relationship? Did Binghe tell her anything about his feelings for his shizun? Perhaps she has a sixth sense. 

The phoenix takes flight and soon becomes just a tiny purple spot in the sky.

Now that Luo Binghe managed to get to the peak, he just has to find the cave – which is easier said than done. 

The mountain range is big and hard to cross. Binghe sometimes uses his human form to walk on the slippery ice, sometimes his dog form to go through narrow paths. He searches through every pass and ridge. The wind howls loudly in his ears, but he does not dare to call Qingqiu's name, afraid that the sound might cause an avalanche.

Luo Binghe walks and walks and doesn't see anything but frozen rocks and snow. He tries to catch his shizun's scent, but doesn't find anything. The sense of urgency grows in him the more he explores the deserted place. Will he be able to find his shizun? Is he even really here? Hope begins to be replaced by doubt, and Binghe's steps become heavier. 

Just as he is about to lose all confidence, his feet slip.

Luo Binghe goes down a slope, a mass of snow falling together with him. He transforms midair and uses his dog's claws to hold onto the rock wall. Straining to hold his weight, he climbs into the nearest plain surface he finds. It is an entrance on the mountain's wall. Inside it, it is completely dark, like a tunnel without end.

He walks through the passage, unable to see a thing in front of him. Suddenly, like someone turned on a candle, he sees a light. Luo Binghe exits the cave to an unexpected scenery. Green grass, trees and a waterfall cascading down from a summit to end on a lake. 

It is like Binghe was transported to a different place. This verdant landscape is the pole opposite of the ice and snow on the rest of the mountain. Here the spring reigns, while outside there is only winter. 

This can only mean one thing: abundance of spiritual power. Which means Binghe must be close to Qingqiu's cave.

Reinvigorated, Luo Binghe is quick to explore the place. It is not very wide, so there are not many options for where the mountain can be. After looking through the small oasis, Binghe doesn't find anything. 

He slumps on the grass and sighs in defeat. There is a reason few people can find a dragon's cave. They are too well hidden. 

Luo Binghe knows he must be failing to see something. He tries to make his agitated mind think clearly. What if, just like the peak can only be accessed by flying, so does the cave? If that's the case, the perfect place for the cave to be would be…

He looks at the waterfall. Binghe goes closer to the lake and inhales carefully. Behind the smell of humidity, he can feel a faint scent of bamboo leaves – the scent of his shizun.

Luo Binghe climbs the trees and the rocks until he gets to the top of the waterfall. He had never learned how to swim, but when he looks at the water cascading down, Binghe doesn't feel fear, because he can feel his shizun's scent. 

Without hesitation, he jumps.

Shen Yuan had died once. Dying again is no big deal – he supposes, but, truthfully, he doesn't really remember much about the dying days of his original body. He knows, objectively, that he had died because of a digestive disease. But he doesn’t remember the pain. Or the operations he went through. Or his last moments.

One day, he closed his eyes. And the next moment he opened them, he was in another world. When he closes his eyes the next time, he probably won’t open them next time.

There is only one thing he remembers from the days he spent in the hospital before dying: the loneliness. He had no visits and no one to talk with besides the nurses. Alone in his room, he didn’t have anyone he missed or anyone who would miss him after he was gone. Once again, Shen Yuan is alone – but this time, there is someone he misses.

This was his choice. At least this way he will be the only one in pain, but won't hurt Binghe as well in the process.

After parting with Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan knew it would be best to leave the bamboo forest. But where would he go? He had no home. Even in his original world, Shen Yuan lived by himself in a tiny apartment, all alone in the middle of thousands of people living in Shanghai, so he can't

exactly call there home either – and he probably won't ever be able to go back there again, considering he won't manage to get all the points the system asked for. In the lack of a home, he goes to the nearest option. The place where he was when he transmigrated: the green dragon's cave.

The place is very high class, considering it is a cave . Just like a subterranean house, it has plenty of different rooms with anything a person would need – including a significant treasure, not that Shen Yuan has a need for riches in the middle of nowhere. It also has much spiritual power accumulated in it.

Shen Yuan had the hope that maybe the spiritual power would help him recuperate. For the first day, he thought maybe it was working, because he was feeling fine. Bored, yes, but not sick. But, at this point, Shen Yuan should've known better than to trust this unpredictable body he is trapped in. Soon enough, things take a turn for the worse – and this time he has no Luo Binghe, or anyone else, to help him.

🐉

“We're on our way through rugged land

Top of that mountain we wanted to stand

With hearts of gold”

Stay gold - First Aid Kit

Chapter Text

“What can I do? Without you

I’m just an old robot, my heart stops and it’s always cold

(...)

What do I do? Without you

My heart has no home"

Home - Seventeen

🐉

Water envelops Luo Binghe as he falls. Fighting against gravity, he blindly grabs for the stone wall behind the waterfall. His claws sink on the damp rocks and he gets suspended mid-air. Binghe is betting everything on a wild guess, but instincts don't lie.

Just as he imagined, there is something hidden past the wall of water: the entrance to a cave. To the green dragon's cave.

Luo Binghe strains to move towards it, supporting his hands and feet in crevices on the slippery wall. He slowly climbs down until he finally manages to reach the cave's mouth. Once inside, he is ready to deal with more challenges, since the cave was supposed to be full of protective spiritual arrays. But, for some reason, all the arrays are weakened, having lost power. Luo Binghe can easily enter the cave.

The cave is well-lit by stalactites in the ceiling pulsing with green light. The walls seem to be made of pure green jade, clear and smooth. From the entrance, Binghe notices that there are many tunnels, each leading to a different direction, like the cave is a subterraneaneal labyrinth, probably for defensive reasons, but without the arrays, this is no real challenge. 

Binghe follows the scent of bamboo leaves, knowing it will lead him to his shizun. He goes through winding corridors, getting deeper and deeper into the cave. The spring that could be found outside doesn't reach this place, the air turns colder and colder the deeper Binghe goes into the cave.

It becomes freezing to the point that ice covers the ground and snowflakes float in the stagnated air. And is when the cold reaches the extreme that the trail of Qingqiu's scent ends – right in front of an archway.

Luo Binghe enters a spacious chamber decorated just like the room of a house. There is a table with books scattered on top, a rocking chair with a green robe thrown carelessly on it, and a canopy bed with its curtains closed. And on top of everything, there is a thin layer of ice. Binghe sees signs of his shizun everywhere – but where is he?

"Master?" Luo Binghe calls. His voice reverberates in the room, but there is no answer. "Qingqiu?"

With the lack of response, Luo Binghe goes for the most obvious possibility. He walks to the bed and pulls the curtains open. Binghe expects to find his shizun sleeping, but what he sees is not what he hoped for. On the bed, instead of his shizun, there is an ice sculpture of a small dragon.

Confused, Binghe takes the sculpture to inspect it closer. It fits on the palm of his hand, not much bigger than a caterpillar. The dragon looks just like his shizun, every detail meticulously carved. The strange thing is, it also has the exact same scent as his shizun.

A scary thought occurs to Binghe. With an impending sense of doom, he holds the dragon in both of his hands and urges his blood to go as hot as possible in his veins. With his warmth, the sculpture beings to melt, revealing green fur under it.

It turns out it wasn't a sculpture at all, but Qingqiu himself.

The ice melts under Binghe's ministrations, leaving the dragon's small body damp with water. But Qingqiu is still unconscious. Filled with dread, Binghe brings the dragon closer to his ears. The sound of his breathing is weak, but at least it is there. It is a small reassurance, but doesn't dissipate Binghe's concern.

Luo Binghe carefully puts the dragon inside his robes, pressing the fragile body against his chest to keep him as warm as possible. Binghe makes a tiny cut into his fingers. Holding the dragon's small mouth open, he forcefully gives him his blood.

It is a slow process, Binghe has to feed him drop by drop. Soon he realizes it taking effect. The dragon's body starts to get bigger. As the blood goes down his throat, together with Binghe's energy, the green dragon recuperates.

Around them, the ice covering the room also begins to melt, forming pools of water on the floor of the cave. Luo Binghe finds himself lying on the bed, holding the now heavier dragon on top of him. Still snuggled inside Binghe's robes, the dragon goes from the size of an insect to a size similar to Binghe's height. Then, the dragon stops growing.

Suddenly, the dragon's body trembles. In just a second, there is no dragon on top of Binghe's anymore. In its place, is a human body. 

Qingqiu's skin is so pale he is white as snow. He still has his eyes closed and is breathing shallowly. But, with the way their chests are pressed together, Luo Binghe can feel his shizun's heartbeat.

Tears silently stream down Binghe's face as he hugs Qingqiu tightly against himself. He caresses his shizun's cheeks, his hair, his shoulders, making sure that his shizun is really here, that he is alive.

Qingqiu trembles on top of him and Binghe knows he needs more warmth. He lets his tail out just so can wrap it around his shizun, hoping the fur will help him warm up. But it is still not enough, Binghe wants to help him more than that.

Luo Binghe remembers the look on shizun's face when he heard about Binghe's feelings, remembers him saying sorry before parting. He knows kissing him after all this would be inappropriate – and this is all that is stopping him from kissing Qingqiu right then and there.

But this is an urgent situation, and Binghe's heart won't be at ease until Qingqiu awakes.

So he bites his own wrist, pries his shizun's lips open and lets more of his blood flow into Qingqiu's mouth. He knows shizun didn't like drinking his blood, but this was better than kissing him without his consent.

Initially, Qingqiu does not swallow and Binghe has to make sure the liquid is going down his throat. But then, he notices Qingqiu swallowing. He starts actively sucking the blood, but Luo Binghe doesn't if he is doing it consciously or not – until he finally opens his eyes.

Qingqiu blinks blearily. His eyes are dazed and vacant, they pass right through Luo Binghe as if he doesn't recognize him. His lips leave Binghe's wrist and he stares at the bite mark in silence.

That's when Binghe remembers the effect his blood has on Qingqiu. "Shizun…"

His shizun pays him no attention. He bites at Luo Binghe's forearm, teeth painfully craving in his flesh. Binghe likes the pain, because it is proof that Qingqiu is getting better. He allows shizun to drink to his heart's content, even when he starts to feel a little dizzy. A little blood loss won't put a demon down.

After he seems to be satisfied, Qingqiu pulls back. Color returned to his skin, making his complexion looks better, his cheeks going rosy. Luo Binghe cleans the blood from his lips, wiping it with his fingertips.

"Binghe," Qingqiu stammers. Binghe thinks that maybe he regained consciousness, but then he asks: "Where are you?"

"I'm right here," Binghe answers gently.

Qingqiu gazes blankly at him, obviously still not in his right mind. "No," he mutters. "I have to go back and find Binghe."

Seeing his shizun dazed like this makes Binghe's heart itch. It is like Qingqiu is drunk on his blood. But are his words true? Did he really want to go back to find him?

"I am here, shizun," he says, using his clean hand to brush shizun's hair away from his face. 

The confusion gradually clears from Qingqiu's face. His eyes regain focus and when he looks at Binghe, this time he knows his shizun actually sees him. Those green eyes Binghe aches so much meet his, and they go wide.

"Binghe?!"

Shen Yuan had a dream. He dreamed he was back in his world, in his own body. He woke up in his bed, like the transmigration never happened. His apartment was just the same as he remembered. His clothes – thankfully! – were normal jeans and a t-shirt instead of those complicated ancient robes. Everything was back in place, as it should be.

Automatically, he went through his old daily routine: putting on his glasses, which he didn't have to use for a long time; fixing up his hair, more easily since it was short again instead of that troublesome long hair; disconnecting his phone from the charger. Zero notifications were awaiting him. It was not surprising that no one had noticed he was gone, since there was no person who would take notice of his absence. 

The phone's screen went black and a message appeared.

[Error. Please wait while the system updates.] 

[Update loading: 1 out of 100%]

Ah, technological devices were still annoying as well. Shen Yuan took the useless phone with him and left his bedroom. He decided to have breakfast and when he got to the kitchen, there was already food on the table. Mung bean cakes and zongzi.

Shen Yuan's head snapped back. "Binghe, did you make this?"

He didn't receive an answer. When Shen Yuan looked at the table again, there was nothing there anymore.

"Binghe," Shen Yuan called again, but he already knew it was useless.

Binghe was not there. Shen Yuan was alone – he has always been alone in this world.

Shen Yuan wanted to go back, back to the courtyard surrounded by bamboo trees, back to eating Binghe's food, back to sitting with Binghe under the sun. All this while, he wanted to get enough points to go back to his home, but when he got there, he realized that this emptiness didn't feel like home. If he had to describe how a real home felt like... it would be one with Luo Binghe in it.

"I have to go back and find Binghe," he said to himself.

A noise came from his phone. He looked at the screen to see a series of notifications pop up. 

[Update loading: 99 out of 100%]

[System updated completed]

[New inquiry: Would host like to go back to his previous location?] [Please select an option: YES | NO ]

Shen Yuan stared at the screen in confusion. While he hesitated, he seemed to hear a voice in the distance. A voice that sounded exactly like Binghe's.

Tapping on the phone's screen, Shen Yuan selected YES.

The images swam before Shen Yuan's eyes. Everything got out of focus, like he was in a carousel gone haywire. When the world spun back to its axis, it wasn't his original world anymore. What he saw was not his empty apartment. It was Luo Binghe's face.

"Binghe?!"

Shen Yuan is pretty sure Luo Binghe shouldn't be here. Before losing consciousness, he was alone in the cave. His body had instinctively reversed to its dragon form as he froze over in an attempt of his defense system to protect his last reserves of energy. It would be basically impossible for Binghe to find the cave.

Was Shen Yuan still dreaming? He cradles Luo Binghe's face in his hands. Binghe feels solid and warm and real. But his dream also felt very real.  So, which one is the dream? How to define reality?

"Master," Binghe whispers adoringly, leaning on his touch. Shen Yuan feels very vividly when he presses a kiss to his palm and knows that he wouldn't be able to imagine all this in such detail. "You are back."

He is back… he really is, isn't he? The sense of reality settles on Shen Yuan – and with it, panic. 

"Luo Binghe," he says sternly. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Binghe sighs with relief. "You recognized me."

Luo Binghe smiles softly. He is obviously not catching up with the gravity of the situation. Of course he recognized Binghe! Shen Yuan may have frozen over, but his brain is still intact.

It takes a few moments for him to notice he has been lying on top of Binghe's chest all this time. And for some reason, Luo Binghe is just wearing his thin inner clothes, while his black robes are draped over Shen Yuan's shoulders.

Shen Yuan jumps up and sits at the edge of the bed. Binghe follows him, sitting up. When he moves, Shen Yuan's eyes fall on Binghe's arm and he gapes. It is a bloody sight. His hand is stained red and two different bite marks on his arm, still dripping with blood.

"Shit." He was not planning to say that aloud, but the words just leave his mouth along with the shock.

Binghe notices his line of sight and gives him a reassuring smile, as if Shen Yuan is the one who needs to be reassured and not him who is bleeding.

"This is nothing, master."

"Nothing my ass!" Shen Yuan retorts strongly, still not recovered enough from his dream to control his head-to-mouth filter and shift back to the ancient way of speaking. "You could've died! I could've killed you!"

"You wouldn't have killed me," Luo Binghe says calmly. "I'm not really hurt."

"You are hurt!" Shen Yuan points at this arm emphatically. "These are wounds, Binghe."

To say nothing about how hurt he could be on the inside. If Shen Yuan absorbed his yang energy again, there is no knowing how much more energy he still has. For all he knows, Luo Binghe could be on his last reserves by now.

"I can get rid of them." Luo Binghe lifts his bloodied arm. Right under Shen Yuan's eyes, the bite marks start fading, until there is not even a scratch on Binghe's unblemished skin. Only some dried blood remains to tell the story. "See, they're gone."

Shen Yuan frowns. "How…?"

Did he kiss it and use his dragon's touch to heal the wounds? Shen Yuan doesn't remember doing that. He doesn't even remember causing the wounds, though.

Luo Binghe opens his mouth, but hesitates to speak. He visibly tenses, his shoulders going up. Finally, he speaks in a nervous manner.

"Master, I have to tell you something."

Confused, Shen Yuan nods. "Go on."

Luo Binghe inhales shakily, as if stalling himself for something.

"I healed the wounds," he says. "Because demons can heal themselves." 

"But you are not a–"

Shen Yuan stares at Luo Binghe, taking on his anxious and apprehensive attitude. Now that he is looking attentively at Binghe, he notices there is something different on him: there is a red mark on his forehead that wasn't there before, a clear sign that distinguishes demons, and moving behind him there is a… A tail?!

"Since when do you have a tail?" is the first thing Shen Yuan asks amidst his bewilderment.

As if responding to him, the black fluffy curls. Luo Binghe really is the image of a dog with its tail between its legs.

"Since the first time we met," Binghe says quietly. "Master just doesn't remember it."

Shen Yuan is pretty sure he would remember Luo Binghe having a tail. All this time, Binghe acted like he was just a simple human. For the first time, Shen Yuan notices the demonic energy within him. Luo Binghe must have purposefully hidden his spiritual energy from him before. But why?

"Who you really are, Luo Binghe?" Shen Yuans asks stiffly.

His rigid tone must scare Binghe, because he flinches. Binghe's hands clutch on the bed, gripping the damp fabric of the blanket as if needing to support himself with something. For a long moment, he doesn't speak. Then his tense fingers leave the blanket and Luo Binghe straightens up.

"I will show you," he says.

Luo Binghe stands from the bed. And when he does, his body changes.

Shen Yuan doesn't even blink, but he still can't believe his eyes. In place of the tall man, now there is a dog. A dog that looks extremely familiar. It look just like the young demon dog Shen Yuan saved years ago, only he was not that young anymore. Instead of the small puddle-like puppy, now he looked more like a huge wolf. But he still has the same fluffy black fur, the same big innocent eyes. How could this be? It would be too naïve to consider this a coincidence.

So Luo Binghe didn't lie, he did see him like this the first time they met – Shen Yuan just didn't know it was him.

"Dizi?" Shen Yuan asks.

The dog's wagging his tail, just like it did before whenever his dizi was excited.

Shizun recognized me.

There he goes, saying that again. As if Shen Yuan could ever forget him.

Surprisingly, Shen Yuan doesn't feel too perplexed to know Binghe's identity. Both Binghe and his dizi gave off the same vibes, had similar behaviors, now that Shen Yuan thinks back on it. Mostly, Shen Yuan just feels happy to be able to see his long-lost dizi again. He does feel deceived, but that doesn't make him regret trusting Binghe. After all, Binghe meant no harm. Shen Yuan still wanted to know what he was thinking though.

"Now you have a mind to call me shizun," he says with false austerity, because he can't just let Binghe say to him and get away with it that easily. "But why didn't you tell me before?"

The dog's ears go flat against his head.

This one was afraid of shizun's reaction. Even though he is communicating mentally, Shen Yuan can almost hear his voice wavering. I thought maybe shizun wouldn't want to see a dirty demon like me again.

Shen Yuan takes his fan out from his sleeve. This time, not to hide himself – but to whack it against Binghe's head.

"Don't talk like that! Why would I ever think that?" he scolds, using his fan to beat Binghe's silly thoughts out of his head. "I don't care if Binghe is a demon, a human or whatnot. I am just happy to see you again."

It is as if Luo Binghe doesn't even hear Shen Yuan's scolding, but only the last words.

Shizun is happy to see me? he asks for confirmation, sounding hopeful and vulnerable.

Shen Yuan sighs. He puts his fan away and pats the dog's head, caressing the place he just hit. "Silly boy," he mutters. "Of course I am."

Binghe's tail goes wild. He rubs himself into Shen Yuan's legs like an overgrown puppy, forgetting the fact that he is now so big he doesn't fit on Shen Yuan's lap like he used to.

Shizun. Binghe lies his head on Shen Yuan's knees and stares at him with big watery eyes. Forgive this one for lying. I won't do it again.

"You better not," he warns. "Honestly, I have not been entirely truthful about my own identity as well."

Shen Yuan wonders if he is even allowed to say that or if it is against the system's rules. But after everything he went through… honestly, he doesn't give a damn about the system.

What does shizun mean? Binghe asks.

"It is hard to explain," Shen Yuan says. "But I wasn't a dragon spirit my whole life. I was just a human once. There is actually nothing special about me."

Luo Binghe huffs. You are special to me!

Of all things, this is what Binghe chose to focus on. He really is too silly, Shen Yuan thinks fondly as he pats his head.

"Hm, I don't know about that. But I think being able to come to this world was a special thing, even though I had to change who I was," he muses. "What would Binghe think if I said I came from a place very different than this world?"

Luo Binghe licks his hand as if to comfort him. It makes sense. Shizun is too good to be from this world.

Laughter bubbles up Shen Yuan's throat. He laughs unrestrainedly, whole body shaking. Binghe barks contently as he watches him laugh. Shen Yuan puts both hands on Binghe's head and runs his fingers through the softness of his curly fur, purposefully making a mess out of it.

"Binghe shouldn't think too highly of me," he reprimands. "I'm not remotely that good."

The dog shakes his head. To me you are, shizun.

Shen Yuan chuckles.

"Right, right," he concedes. This huge puppy of his gets satisfied with way too little. He was like this before too. Binghe even calls him "shizun" although he didn't really teach him all that much. "It's about time you stop calling me shizun, don't you think?"

Binghe hangs his head down. Master doesn't like it?

"Don't call me master either," Shen Yuan says. "I remembered I made you a promise."

Binghe's ears go up in interest. Hm?

"I promised that if you told me your name, I would tell you mine." Shen Yuan grins. "Well, Binghe. From now on you should use my real name: Shen Yuan."

Shen Yuan. Luo Binghe repeats the name, trying out its sound. This is his shizun's real name. Something no one else in this world knows but him. 

Shen Yuan, Binghe says again and again as he rubs himself all over his shizun. He would not stop thinking about him as his shizun nor as his master, because to Binghe he was always going to be those things, but knowing his real name is such a privilege. Yuan.

His shizun does not complain about the intimate way he calls him, so Luo Binghe pushes his luck.

A-Yuan, he tests out, using the honorific as if it was a term of endearment. Instead of being bothered by it, Shen Yuan stretches the back of his ears.

"Hm, that's better. No more calling me master," his A-Yuan says. Binghe can't promise him that, though – he likes how flustered his master gets when he calls him that. "I never really got used to how people speak in this world. Master this, lord that. It's too stuffy!"

It is kind of weird to hear Shen Yuan saying that, proving that he really is from a world that Luo Binghe doesn't know. But doesn't matter to Binghe where his shizun came from, what matters is that he is here with him now. And that he stays.

A-Yuan. Luo Binghe presses his snout against Shen Yuan's robes, sniffing the familiar scent of bamboo leaves. You won't go back there, will you?

Binghe thinks about Shen Yuan leaving again, this time to a place he won't ever be able to reach. Just the possibility is enough to make him feel physically in pain. He wants to put his A-Yuan inside his mouth and hide him there, to never part from his side.

Shen Yuan pats his head soothingly.

"En, I'm not going back," he says much to Binghe's contentment. "My home is here now."

Relief washes over Luo Binghe. Still, Binghe is greedy. Could Luo Binghe be part of Shen Yuan's home? He would dare to be presumptions again. If he has a place in A-Yuan's life, it would be enough – or at least it should be, but Binghe wants more. He always wants more than his shizun can give.

Shen Yuan smiles beautifully down at him and the sight makes Binghe ache. Ah, how he wants. He can't help it. Luo Binghe has to ask for it, even if it is just to be rejected again.

A-Yuan, he starts tentatively. Can I be included in your home?

If Binghe was in his human form, he would already be down on his knees. He would beg for Shen Yuan's affection, if it would help his case. But he doesn't want it if it's forced. If his shizun doesn't want him, he will have to accept it.

"Nonsense," Shen Yuan says dismissively.

Luo Binghe feels all the fur on his body standing up. It is a good thing he is in this form, so his shizun can't see his expression and see completely devastated he is. 

But Shen Yuan didn't finish speaking yet. "No place would be my home without Binghe in it." 

Binghe's head snaps up.

Shen Yuan is already covering half of his face with a fan – one day Binghe will steal all of his shizun's fans for blocking the view of his handsome face –, but his eyes are clear, confirming the truth of his words. It is not a rejection. He is not put off by Binghe's greediness. It almost feels like… he also wants this.

A-Yuan. Binghe says. You don't want me to leave this time?

Shen Yuan sighs and touches his neck. "It's not that I wanted you to leave, Binghe. I did that for your own good."

To Binghe, being with his shizun is what is good for him. But he doesn't resent Shen Yuan, because he knows he was just concerned about him.

Shizun doesn't have to worry anymore. You won't hurt me, Luo Binghe reassures. I won't run out of blood even if you bite me every day.

He wants his shizun that he can bite whenever he wants. Binghe isn't against it at all – he even likes it a little, minus the whole Shen Yuan getting ill part.

"That's not the issue." Shen Yuan frowns. "You could still run out of yang energy."

That won't happen either. Demons have abundant yang nature, Binghe explains. My spiritual power regenerates itself. A-Yuan can take all the energy he needs.

Shen Yuan looks doubtful. He hums pensively. "It really can't harm you?"

Really. Shizun can rest assured.

After clarifying things, he hopes Shen Yuan will finally have no reason to pull away from him again. He presses his snout on Shen Yuan's hand, licking his slender fingers.

"Binghe." Shen Yuan pulls his fan higher. "Can you shift back to your human form?" 

Binghe's tail drops. Shizun doesn't like this form?

"I don't dislike it, it's just–" Shen Yuan looks away. "I want to try something."

Obediently, albeit confused, Luo Binghe transforms. Maybe his shizun dislikes looking at his beast form being reminded and constantly being reminded that Binghe is a demon. He feels a little dejected, because he wanted to use his dog's body to get a few more caresses out of Shen Yuan. But the dejection quickly disappears, because shizun kisses him.

Shen Yuan stands on his toes and puts a hand on Binghe's shoulder for support. Then he plants a peck on his lips.

"It seems like you being a demon has some advantages," Shen Yuan says. "It means we can do this." 

Oh, no. Luo Binghe is a goner.

"We can?" he confirms, holding his breath. Does Binghe really get to have this? To have him? 

Shen Yuan raises his fan to his face,  dodging his stare. "Unless Binghe doesn't want it."

Is that even something that needs to be questioned? Barely does Shen Yuan know how desperately Binghe wants this, wants him – but he is willing to show him until there are no doubts.

Luo Binghe takes the fan from his shizun's hand and throws it far away. 

"My fan!" Shen Yuan starts to complain, but Binghe quickly silences him.

Luo Binghe kisses him avidly, in a way that proves just how much he wants him. With every movement, he tries to convey his feelings. When he moves his lips eagerly against A-Yuan's, he is saying I want you. When he puts his hands on A-Yuan's hips and squeezes the flesh with possessiveness, he is saying I want you. Everything in his body screams just how much he wants Shen Yuan.

And his shizun must to some extent want him as well, because he is kissing Binghe back. This time it is not because he needs energy, but because he wants to.

Luo Binghe lets his tail out and wraps it around Shen Yuan's waist like he always wanted to, enveloping his shizun entirely. He wants to have his tail, his hands, his mouth, his everything on Shen Yuan. It feels like no matter how much Binghe touches him, it is not enough.

When Shen Yuan breaks the kiss, Luo Binghe already misses him. He just misses him all the time. It doesn't matter if he is right there, Binghe has a lingering fear that Shen Yuan will disappear again, vanishing in thin air no matter how much Binghe holds onto him.

Dreading to stop touching his shizun for even a second, Luo Binghe encircles Shen Yuan's waist, pulling him into a hug. He leans down, lying his head on Shen Yuan's shoulder, inhaling his scent, which he sought so desperately.

"A-Yuan," he whispers against the skin of Shen Yuan's neck.

"Binghe, if you squeeze me like this I can't breathe," Shen Yuan complains, but his hands are running over Binghe's back soothingly. "Don't worry, I won't disappear."

His shizun probably had no idea, but that was exactly the reassurance Luo Binghe needed. Luo Binghe's eyes start to sting. He tries to swallow the tears, not wanting to ruin the moment, but is incapable of stopping them. It is the first time he is crying because he feels happy.

The tears fall into Shen Yuan's shoulders, dampening his robes. Even though Luo Binghe wanted to hide his shameful crying, his shizun notices it. Binghe feels Shen Yuan pull back just enough to be able to see his red, wet face.

"You big baby." Shen Yuan shakes his head, but he dries Binghe's tears anyway. "Alright. No more crying."

Luo Binghe's cheeks are wiped by his A-Yuan fingertips. The tender touch makes Binghe close his eyes and shizun kisses both his eyelids, collecting the remaining tears with his mouth. And gosh – Luo Binghe loves him. He doesn't just want Shen Yuan, he loves him.

Luo Binghe traveled miles, climbed a mountain and jumped off a waterfall for this man – and he would do it all again just to have A-Yuan in his arms. Luo Binghe decides to leave all that trouble to the past and focus on the future. A future in which they are together.

"A-Yuan," he says. "Want to go back to our home?"

🐉

“I want to cherish our warmth

So no one can come between us

Tell me, you’re mine, tell me, I’m yours"

Home - Seventeen

Chapter Text

"There is an indentation in the shape of you

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo"

Dress - Taylor Swift

🐉

The first time Shen Yuan settled in the bamboo forest, he planned for it to be just a temporary stay. But when he goes back there with Luo Binghe, the place already feels like home.

After flying back to the courtyard carrying Luo Binghe on his back, from Qing Jing Mountain to the forest, Shen Yuan felt exhausted. He passes out, sleeping almost a whole day, and only wakes up because of an annoying beeping noise. It takes some time for him to realize where the sound is coming from.

The system, which was quiet for a few days, is insistently sending him notifications. Why is it disturbing his much-needed sleep? Shen Yuan has half a mind to ignore it, but knowing is impossible since the sound is inside his mind he finds himself obligated to open his eyes. The familiar screen floats in front of him, but instead of the usual white letters written on it, pink heart bubbles pop up.

[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times.] 

[The main purpose of your transmigration was achieved!]

[Secret mission accomplished: finding your destined partner. Points accumulated: ∞]

Shen Yuan was still muddlehead from sleep, but the moment he reads the words he becomes alert . 

What is this nonsense? He never heard of such a mission. What does “destined partner” mean?

Memories of what happened in the cave fly through his mind: Binghe going to find him, their conversation, their kiss. Of course the system could only be referring to Luo Binghe. Who else could his destined partner be?  But it just sounded too unrealistic to call it destiny. Shen Yuan wouldn't be against calling Binghe his partner, but that was a choice he made, not some dumb mechanism of the universe compelling him to follow a destined path.

Shen Yuan doesn't have time to question the system about any of that though, because it keeps sending him more information.

[Host has reached the minimum number of points required and can now claim his reward.] 

[Reward: a wish of his choice.]

Did I reach a thousand points? Shen Yuan repeats in astonishment. For years he's been trying to gather all those points, doing numerous missions for a meager amount of points, but he had already resigned himself to the fact that he would probably never be able to. Now, out of nowhere, he reached a thousand points without even doing anything.

Remembering the system's promise that he could transmigrate back after reaching this goal, an unsettling feeling takes over him.

Does that mean you will send me back to my world?

He should be happy about it. That is what he worked so hard for. But, for some reason, Shen Yuan just feels worried. He remembers the upsetting dream he had while in the cave, where he went back to his empty apartment and dull life, a life without dragons, demons and… without Luo Binghe. Binghe, who asked him not to leave again. Binghe, whom he promised to have a home with. Shen Yuan can't just abandon him again – he doesn't want to.

[We can send you back if that is your choice.]

[But you can choose any wish, as long as it is within the realms of possibility of what the system can do.]

Shen Yuan breathes a sigh of relief. He feared maybe the system would send him back immediately, without giving him time to protest or even say goodbye to Luo Binghe. 

With his mind cleared from worry, for the time being at least, the expression "any wish he desires" calls his attention. To be asked without notice like this, Shen Yuan has no idea what to pick. For a long time, he thought that what he wanted was to go back to his world, and now that he doesn't want it anymore, he is not sure what he should ask for.

Do I have to choose now?

[You can decide on your wish at a later time, but the reward will automatically disappear after 10 days, if not reclaimed.]

Unbelievable. He spent years collecting the points, and now they will go to waste if he doesn't use them in a few days! This shitty, faulty system.

I'd like to keep the reward for now. I'll decide on the wish later.

Shen Yuan doesn't want to use such a valuable reward without thinking about it properly at first. With that settled, he turns his attention to another pressing matter.

What was that thing about a "destined partner"? Shen Yuan asks, wishing the screen had a camera just so the system could see his displeasure as he glares at it.

[This operator cannot reveal the secrets of the system's administration.]

So you just play around with people's lives without explanation?

[...]

[The system will be entering sleeping mode. Please contact us when you have decided on your reward.]

With that, the screen vanishes. It just went away to avoid his questions! Shen Yuan is the part concerned in this matter, he should at least be given more details!

"Shitty system," Shen Yuan mutters under his breath, huffing.

At this moment, the door of his room opens. Luo Binghe comes in holding a tray full of food – really full of it, to the extent that it is almost comical. Shen Yuan eyes go wild as Binghe settles the tray on the small table near the fireplace, which he easily alights by flicking his fingers and creating a flame on them. Shen Yuan is surprised for a moment before he remembers that, that's right, Luo Binghe is a demon. He has to yet adjust his view of Binghe and remember he is not a human.

"Is A-Yuan feeling well-rested now?" Luo Binghe asks as he smiles at him. "You seemed to be troubled about something."

Binghe must have caught him grumbling about the system, but although Shen Yuan told him about his identity, it would be too complicated to explain many things, such as what is the system.

"It was nothing. Don't worry, I rested more than enough already," Shen Yuan says as he rises from the bed.

He gathers his crumbled night robes around himself, thinking that he probably looks like a mess after sleeping for so long. But when he glances at Binghe, he notices the man staring at him enraptured, the demonic mark on his forehead even seems to become a deeper red.

"Does master want to eat?" he asks in a hoarse voice.

"Why are you still calling me that? I think we're past you treating me like I'm your master." Shen Yuan snorts as he walks to the dresser. He fills a basin with water, that he creates himself, to wash his sleep-wearied face. "And there was no need to make so much food. None of us have to eat, anyway."

Going to his side, Luo Binghe leans back against the dresser in front of Shen Yuan while he dries his washed face. At least in this body, his skin is always clear and spotless – the benefits of having spiritual powers.

"But I know A-Yuan finds pleasure in eating," Binghe answers. "And I enjoy cooking for you and… giving you pleasure."

Shen Yuan doesn't miss the way Binghe watches him as he now wipes his neck and arms with a wet towel, his eyes trailing the movement of the water droplets sliding down from his neck. Clearing his throat, Shen Yuan puts the towel down.

"I enjoy your cooking, but I can't possibly eat all that," he points out. "You made too much, Binghe."

If Binghe keeps cooking like that, they may as well open a restaurant. Even better, Shen Yuan should just give some of the food to those in need.

"I prepared different dishes so master could pick the ones he liked," Luo Binghe says, apparently completely ignoring everything Shen Yuan said. "But if you would prefer something else, A-Yuan can also feed from me. Shizun should replenish his energy."

Shen Yuan shoots him an irritated look. After everything they went through, he would like it if Binghe finally stopped offering himself to him on a silver plate.

"I am good," he dismisses, turning his back to Luo Binghe. "I have to get changed before having breakfast."

Shen Yuan expects Binghe will understand that he is subtly asking him to leave so he can get changed. But instead of leaving, Luo Binghe walks closer, putting his hands on Shen Yuan's shoulders.

"I can help you with that," he says and Shen Yuan freezes. Is Luo Binghe offering to take off his clothes?

Are they in that stage already? Well, it's not like they haven't been intimate before, just not… naked. But that is not the point. Shen Yuan was just planning to change his clothes! By himself!

"You don't have to."

"But I want to take care of my master," Luo Binghe says and his breath against Shen Yuan's ear, making him shiver involuntarily. "Will allow me to…"

Undress him? He can't just ask that! Shen Yuan couldn't say yes to that, unless... But before he can cave in, Binghe finishes speaking.

"... brush your hair?"

Well. That was way less improper than Shen Yuan thought. Is he the one with a dirty mind?

Shen Yuan looks over his shoulder at Binghe. Grabbing the hairbrush on top of the dresser, he marches to the bed and sits down. 

"Will you come or not?" he urges. "I was never good at dealing with this long hair by myself."

Perking up, Luo Binghe strides to him. He is quick to grab the brush and sit cross legged behind him.

"Did A-Yuan use to have short hair?" Binghe asks as the starts moving the brush with care through Shen Yuan's hair.

"Yes. Men don't usually have long hair in my country, only some of them," Shen Yuan responds, still feeling it is kind of strange to talk about his original world with Binghe, but glad he now has someone to tell about his past. "I was not used to having long hair when I first came here. Zhuzhi Lang was the one who brushed my hair for me at first."

Luo Binghe was brushing his hair gently, but at this moment Shen Yuan feels him accidentally putting too much force on it. "A-Yuan seems very close to that snake spirit."

Ah, so that's what this is about.

"En," Shen Yuan agrees, deliberately pretending not to hear the jealousy in Binghe's tone. "Zhuzhi is very loyal."

The brush pulls at his hair. "No more is more loyal to you than me, master."

Shen Yuan hisses at his abused scalp. That's his payment for trying to tease Binghe.

"I get it, I get it. Zhuzhi Lang isn't even my servant anymore," Shen Yuan says. He turns back and snatches the hairbrush from Binghe's hands. "You almost pulled my hair off."

"Sorry, master," Binghe quickly apologizes, rubbing his head to soothe the pain.

There he goes again, calling him master. Shen Yuan has an inkling that Luo Binghe only does that when he is trying to sound innocent.

"Who is your master?" he says, annoyed. 

"You," Binghe answers immediately.

Shen Yuan would have to teach him the concept of rhetorical questions. But he can't really complain at the moment, because Luo Binghe is very skillfully massaging his scalp. The motions are so relaxing Shen Yuan's body melts a little. He finds himself leaning back against Binghe, who holds his waist with one arm while the other continues the massage.

"I want to be of service to my A-Yuan," Luo Binghe murmurs against his hair. The fingers expertly scrape at a sensitive region near his scalp and Shen Yuan almost turns to putty in his hands. "Let me serve you, master."

Shen Yuan turns his neck to look back at him. But before he can tell Binghe off for using that title again, his mouth is blocked by a kiss.

Shen Yuan can't even think of a proper rebuke anymore because his mind goes blank as Luo Binghe claims his lips. The kiss doesn't have a slow build-up, Binghe kisses him eagerly from the start, without giving him no time to prepare. Binghe's fingers are buried in his hair, clutching the strands at the strands possessively. The demon lets his tail out, wrapping it twice around his waist.

Binghe tugged at his bottom lip while groaning like a starved animal. He offered to feed Shen Yuan, but he seemed to be the one trying to eat him. 

Self-conscious, Shen Yuan pulls back from the kiss. Luo Binghe chases his mouth with closed eyes and whines when he doesn't find them – and why did Shen Yuan think he looked very cute just now? It makes him even want to tease him on purpose. Maybe all this kissing is getting to his head.

"This position is hurting my neck," Shen Yuan says, coming up with an excuse that does not include him revealing the fact that he is just embarrassed.

"We can change it then," Luo Binghe suggests provocatively. "Which position A-Yuan prefers?"

That sounded suspiciously suggestive. Shen Yuan turns his face away, but it only serves to leave the back of his neck vulnerable. Luo Binghe presses a light kiss to the exposed skin.

"Master can pick any position he likes," Binghe speaks seductively against his neck, pressing more kisses to the skin. "This humble is fine either way."

But Shen Yuan is not fine! He has never been in a relationship and is not prepared for all this yet.

"The food will get cold!" Shen Yuan tries to stand up from the bed, but Binghe's arms and tail tighten against his waist, stopping him from leaving.

"But what about your energy?" Binghe asks as he nuzzles his neck. "Is A-Yuan satisfied already?"

Shen Yuan grinds his teeth. His natural response to embarrassment is escaping and Luo Binghe is just not letting him do it!

"My throat is dry because I just woke up. Let me drink something," he says, coming up with it on spot. It is not really a lie, except for the reason why his throat became dry.

To his dismay, Binghe doesn't let him go that easily. "Master can drink my blood."

What goes through Luo Binghe's mind all day? That demon needs to have his brain checked, in Shen Yuan's opinion. He raises the hairbrush in his hand like a weapon, with the full intention of smacking Binghe's head so maybe he put in mind in the right place. But before he can take action, he hisses in pain.

Luo Binghe had inexplicably bit him. Bewildered, Shen Yuan feels sharp canines sinking in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. The abrupt bite should make Shen Yuan feel revolted, or at least bothered, but why, oh why, it only makes him feel horny? He wonders if Binghe always felt like this those times he bit him or if he is the weird one for enjoying this.

Pretending to be more vexed than he actually is, Shen Yuan inclines his head to glare at Luo Binghe. Binghe grins, exposing his canines. At least he didn't bite enough to draw blood, Shen Yuan noticed that Binghe's bite was controlled, not causing more than a slight pain.

"I knew you were a dog, but I didn't know you were a rabid one," he says accusingly.

As though confirming his accusation, Binghe's ears transform, two fluffy dog ears appearing on the top of his hand.

"We're even now," Luo Binghe says.

Hearing that, Shen Yuan feels placated. He is guilty of biting Binghe first, that is no lie. This is his dark past (yes, it was days ago, but it is in the past, ok?). 

"Fine. But no more biting from now on," he concedes. Luo Binghe nods obediently, but Shen Yuan is not convinced by his innocent facade anymore. "I won't bite you again either."

Binghe licks at the bite mark on Shen Yuan's neck, doing the same he did all the times he bit him before, and Shen Yuan has to hold his breath not to show any reaction.

"A-Yuan can bite me whenever he pleases," he says. "I treasure all of shizun's marks."

To show that he means it, Binghe lifts the sleeve of his robes and reveals a bite mark on his wrist. It is from the very first time Shen Yuan bit him, but despite being an old mark the teeth indentations look fresh as new.

"Why that didn't heal yet?" Shen Yuan says in surprise, grabbing Binghe's wrist to analyze the mark.

"I purposefully kept it like this. I wouldn't want to lose any mark A-Yuan made on my body." Luo Binghe turns his right hand to show the scar there. "This scar too, I cherish. It is a reminder of when I met shizun and the first kiss you gave me."

The first kiss? But Luo Binghe already has that scar before meeting him… It takes a moment to click in Shen Yuan's mind what Binghe is talking about. He remembers the demon pup with a knife on his paw, and how he had kissed it to make the wound heal.

Shen Yuan can barely believe Luo Binghe kept a scar from that long ago, mostly when he could simply use his spiritual power to get rid of it. The scar could be seen as a painful memory – someone had stabbed him, after all –, but instead of seeing it as a wound, Binghe sees it as a reminder of his kiss.

"How could you see a knife scar as a reminder of a kiss?" he says, shaking his head fondly. "It must have been painful."

Luo Binghe opens a smile. "Shizun took my pain away when he saved me," he says candidly and presses his own lips to his scar as if kissing the memory of Shen Yuan's kiss. "When we were apart, this was the only thing from you that I still had with me."

Shen Yuan really doesn't understand what goes on in Binghe's mind – but he starting to realize it is a privilege to be always in it. How much does Luo Binghe like him, to think such things? It would be impossible for him not to be touched, flattered even, seeing how much Luo Binghe cares for him.

Hating to see Binghe carrying all these marks caused by pain, Shen Yuan wishes he could replace them with better memories. Losing his reservations to a sudden burst of determination and affection, Shen Yuan takes Binghe's hand.

"I will give you all the kisses you want from now on," he says decisively. Proving his point, Shen Yuan kisses Binghe's palm, right above the scar. "Don't dwell on the scars anymore, alright?"

Luo Binghe exhales tremblingly. The ears on top of his head move up and down, showing his delight.

"En," he answers breathily. Binghe closes his scarred hand as if he can keep Shen Yuan's kiss inside it. "But I will keep this one, so I can permanently carry shizun with me."

"You will have by your side anyway, silly." Shen Yuan hits the top of Binghe's head lightly with the hairbrush. "Let me give you marks of a different kind, ones that are not painful."

"Mark me as you want. I'm yours, A-Yuan." Binghe's smile becomes cheeky. "I can think of many ways A-Yuan could leave his mark on me."

Damn, Shen Yuan should have phrased it another way. That sly dog, when he saw the opportunity to tease him, he took it.

"We can think about that later," he says. "Now very kindly leave the room so I can finish dressing without you interrupting me, since you're not helping."

"I apologize, A-Yuan," Luo Binghe says with a grin, not looking even slightly sorry. "I would be more interested in helping you un dress."

At this point, if Shen Yuan doesn't escape, he fears Luo Binghe will try to eat him – and worse, he might let him. 

"You will have by your side anyway, silly." Shen Yuan hits the top of Binghe's head lightly with the hairbrush. "Let me give you marks of a different kind, ones that are not painful."

"Mark me as you want. I'm yours, A-Yuan." Binghe's smile becomes cheeky. "How is A-Yuan planning to do that?"

That sly dog, when he saw the opportunity to tease him, he took it.

"That…" Shen Yuan makes a vague gesture. "We can think about that later."

Shen Yuan avoids Binghe's eyes, but he can still feel them on him, making his face heat up.

"But I can think about it now," Luo Binghe says in a carefree tone. "I can think of many ways A-Yuan could leave his mark on me."

Damn, Shen Yuan should have phrased it another way. If he hears any of those clearly impure thoughts of Binghe, he doesn't know if he will survive.

"We can think about that later," he says. "Now very kindly leave the room so I can finish dressing without you interrupting me, since you're not helping."

"I apologize, A-Yuan," Luo Binghe says with a grin, not looking even slightly sorry. "I would be more interested in helping you undress."

At this point, if Shen Yuan doesn't escape, he fears Luo Binghe will try eat him – and worse, that he might let him. 

When Binghe leans forward, ready to kiss Shen Yuan again, his mouth meets empty air. Turning into a small dragon, Shen Yuan victoriously slips from Binghe's arms. He flies up and away from the sneaky demon.

I will go on a walk– well, a flight. Shen Yuan communicates, glad that in this form he can at least conceal a little of how flustered he is.

"Can't I go with A-Yuan?" Luo Binghe looks at him with a pout, his ears bending down. "I like when you let me be on top of you."

No way! What Shen Yuan is trying to escape is exactly Binghe on top of him.

No, you stay here. I'll be back soon.

Before Luo Binghe can protest further and manage to change his mind with those traitorously cute puppy eyes, Shen Yuan flies through the open window.

When Luo Binghe wakes up, he immediately knows Shen Yuan is gone.

In the last few days, he got used to waking up to the scent of bamboo leaves coming from the next room, but now he can't sense his shizun's scent near. Binghe's heart twinges with fear. He goes to A-Yuan's room, but, as expected, it is empty. And this in itself is very odd, since Shen Yuan usually sleeps until the sun is high up, but now is so early that the sun is yet to rise. With growing concern, Luo Binghe checks the whole courtyard and even the nearby region of the woods, but he doesn't find Shen Yuan anywhere.

Disturbing thoughts swirl in Binghe's confused mind. Did something happen with A-Yuan while he was asleep? Was it related to his sickness? Did his shizun leave him again? But A-Yuan said he would stay this time and Luo Binghe trusts him. Unless the same power who brought Shen Yuan to this world had taken him again… 

He goes to Shen Yuan's room again, trying to find some clue as to where he could've gone. But there is nothing different in the chambers, all of shizun's belongings are in place. Luo Binghe is about to leave and search the bamboo forest again when the door of the room opens.

Shen Yuan walks into the room wearing a thick cloak above his usual robes, the hood obscuring his face. He takes off the hood and puts it aside, and then halts when noticing Binghe in the room, not expecting to see him there.

Binghe's heartbeat finally settles, returning to a normal rhythm when he sees his A-Yuan safe and sound.

"Binghe, you're up already?" Shen Yuan comments as if nothing happened, ignoring the fact that Luo Binghe was one second away from going mad with worry. "I thought you would be asle–"

Luo Binghe interrupts him by throwing himself into Shen Yuan. Binghe holds his shizun in his arms, hugging him firmly. But then he catches a different scent in Shen Yuan, behind the aroma of bamboo leaves there is a lingering smell of perfume. He twitches his nose, wondering who in the world had the audacity of touching his A-Yuan.

"Eh, what's with you?" Shen Yuan asks, giving little taps to his back. "I just went for a bit."

Luo Binghe breaks the hug to look at him. "Where did you go, A-Yuan? I smell someone else's scent on you."

"Are you saying I smell?" Shen Yuan raises his eyebrows and sniffs at his own arm. "Oh, it must be that woman's perfume. She really was wearing too much of it…"

"A-Yuan was with a woman? Which woman?" Luo Binghe fires down the questions. He does not hide his displeasure, deeply frowning his brows.

Shen Yuan flicks his forehead.

"What ridiculous thoughts are you having?" he admonishes. "The woman who works at the jewelry shop. Do you think I would go around meeting women behind your back?"

Not for a second Luo Binghe had doubted his shizun, he just dislikes the fact that someone tarnished his lovely scent. If he could, he would bathe Shen Yuan himself, rubbing his skin until he gets rid of that stranger's perfume.

"I know A-Yuan wouldn't do such things," Luo Binghe assures. "But why did you go to a jewelry shop? And without telling me anything? I was worried, A-Yuan."

Shen Yuan takes his fan and opens it in front of his face. The action tells Binghe that his shizun is trying to hide something from him.

"I didn't intend to worry you," he says from behind the fan. "I believed Binghe would still be asleep when I came back."

Luo Binghe pouts. "A-Yuan could have just told me."

"If I did, it would ruin the surprise." Shen Yuan sighs. "Well, it's no matter. I can tell it to you now."

"A surprise?" Binghe repeats, puzzled.

His shizun is behaving strangely this morning, sneaking out before dawn and going into town. It is very uncharacteristic of him. Luo Binghe has no idea what of surprise it must be.

"In my world, couples have the custom of giving each other rings or other jewelry," Shen Yuan says. "But I heard that in here, dragons give a part of their reverse scale to their mates."

Binghe doesn't know about jewelry, but he has heard about the dragon's custom. Dragons have reserve scales right under their jugular and it is their most sensitive part, therefore no one can touch it. But if they find a mate for life, dragons will cut a part of the scale and give it to them. Some demons have a similar tradition, giving part of their scales, horn, or feather to their partners – he knows, for instance, Maobei-jun carries one of Shan Qinghua's feathers with him. He isn't sure why Shen Yuan brought this up, though.

"Is that related to A-Yuan's surprise?" Luo Binghe asks carefully, trying hard not to get too hopeful.

Instead of answering, his shizun starts to rummage inside the sleeve of his robe. "Well, I promised I would give you a new mark. So I decided to make you a permanent one."

Finding what he was looking for, Shen Yuan pulls something out of the sleeve. He holds it in his palm for Binghe to see: a bracelet with a thin golden chain and a crystal pendant made of ice with a green scale inside.

"I had it personally commissioned. The gold in the bracelet is from my private treasure." Shen Yuan points to the chain, then to the pendant. "And for the pendant, I froze my scale inside a crystal. The ice is made with my spiritual power, so it will never melt."

Binghe's heart, which had just recently settled down, starts to beat furiously again. He thinks it is trying to leave his chest and go straight to A-Yuan. Luo Binghe is so bewildered he is incapable of saying anything. 

"Why you're not saying anything?" Shen Yuan asks, sounding apprehensive. "Binghe didn't like it?"

As if there would be a chance of Binghe disliking such a valuable gift. Luo Binghe liked it so much that he doesn't even know what to do with himself.

"Is this really for me?" he asks in a chocked voice. "A-Yuan is giving his reverse scale to me?"

Shen Yuan rolls his eyes. "No, I'm giving it to the secret lover I have hidden somewhere," he deadpans. "Of course I'm giving it to you, Binghe."

Lover . Shen Yuan had called him his lover . In midst of his happiness, Binghe's tail materializes unprompted and swings wildly behind him, as if it has a mind of its own. His mind, on the other hand, is still incapable of functioning properly.

"I'll take your tail as a sign you didn't hate the surprise," Shen Yuan says with a tentative smile, and Luo Binghe notices that his shizun sounds somewhat nervous, as if he thinks Binghe could dislike the gift. He can't allow his A-Yuan to have such doubts.

"I loved it." Luo Binghe looks directly at Shen Yuan, hoping his shizun can see how much he means it. "I love you , A-Yuan."

Shen Yuan diverts his gaze and quickly lifts his fan, but not quick enough for Luo Binghe to miss the flush in his cheeks. Binghe knows that A-Yuan's avoidance is simply for embarrassment, and not because he doesn't return the feelings. The gift was already enough to prove his feelings.

"Hm, I'm glad you like it," Shen Yuan says. "Let me help you put it on."

Not having to be told twice, Luo Binghe extends his arm. But Shen Yuan shakes his head. "No, the other arm."

Albeit not understanding the reason, Luo Binghe complies. He offers his right arm to Shen Yuan, who holds his wrist carefully.

"I'll put it here, to replace the bite mark I left before. This way you can heal it, but keep something of me with you," Shen Yuan explains as he puts the bracelet on him. "There. Thankfully, it fits."

He can only stare dumbly at the bracelet, marveling at how precious it is – and not because of the price of the gold or the crystal, but because of the meaning behind it. This is more than just a bracelet, Shen Yuan has given Binghe a part of himself. A-Yuan's reversed scale, the thing that represents his vulnerability. A-Yuan's crystal, made with his own power.

"I love it. I really do, A-Yuan," Luo Binghe says again, wishing he could find better words to express his delight. In lack of the right words, Binghe decides to express his feelings with actions. "Please allow me to show you my gratitude."

He grabs Shen Yuan's face with both hands and shows his gratitude with his mouth. Luo Binghe wants to make his A-Yuan feel good, wants to give twice the happiness he gave him. He can't say he has the expertise, but he surely has the excitement, and it must count for something. 

Shen Yuan's arms are around his neck and short nails sink into the flesh every time he makes a movement his A-Yuan enjoys, denouncing his preferences. Luo Binghe registers all of them, mentally noting them down for future reference.

He kisses Shen Yuan hungrily until his shizun is out of breath. Dreading to part even for one second, Luo Binghe latches onto A-Yuan's neck immediately after their lips part. He is like an untamed beast – something was unleashed inside him, driving up the instincts that make him want to devour Shen Yuan. Luo Binghe wants to swallow him whole. But since it's impossible, he does it the way he can, sucking and licking his A-Yuan's neck.

Binghe's eyes fall on the faded bite mark near Shen Yuan's shoulder, the one he gave days ago, and that by now should have completely healed with his spiritual powers.

"A-Yuan still has that?" Luo Binghe touches the teeth' indentations on the skin. He was careful to control his strength when biting, so it's strange for the mark to still be there.

"Hm, that…" Shen Yuan grins. "I guessed I should return the favor and keep a mark of Binghe's too."

Ah, this is too much for Binghe's heart. Today is the day he loses it.

"A-Yuan," Binghe calls his name. "Let me give you more of those."

Without giving his shizun any time to protest, Luo Binghe grabs his waist and falls onto his back on the bed, making Shen Yuan fall on top of him.

He keeps his word, readily leaving his mark all on his A-Yuan neck. Binghe sucks on his Adam's apple, his clavicle, and his collarbones. Everywhere he leaves red marks, so everyone who looked would see. Luo Binghe wants his A-Yuan to have traces of him all over him, wants him to have his smell, to be entirely his. He moves his tail between Shen Yuan's legs, running the fur against his calves to mark him with his scent and replace that woman's perfume.

"You really are like a dog," Shen Yuan berates, but his pupils are blown wide while he stares at Binghe, making his green eyes seem almost black. "Licking everywhere."

"Oh, I still haven't licked everywhere ." He roams his eyes down Shen Yuan's body mischievously. "But I certainly can try."

Luo Binghe can think of many interesting places he would love to try licking. He will map out Shen Yuan's whole body with his tongue if he is allowed to. For starts, he really wants to taste A-Yuan's mouth again.

But his way is blocked. Shen Yuan puts a finger against his lips and raises his eyebrows at him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Shen Yuan asks. 

"Giving master my energy, of course," Binghe answers with a very pure and innocent smile. "I'm so grateful that I want you to have all my energy."

Shen Yuan shifts on top of him, but Binghe prevents him from escaping by circling his tail around him.

"I don't need that kind of gratitude." Shen Yuan glares sternly at him. The roughness, even if fake, makes a shiver go down Binghe's spine.

With a hand, Binghe pushes A-Yuan's silky hair away so he can put his mouth to his shizun's ear. 

"But do you want it, master?" he whispers directly into the shell of his A-Yuan's ear.

"I told you not to call me that anymore," Shen Yuan grumbles.

Not getting the answer he wanted, Luo Binghe guesses he earned the right to tease him a little. He takes Shen Yuan's earlobes between his teeth and pulls at them lightly. "Does my master want to consume me?"

The tips of Shen Yuan's ears become pink. Still, he doesn't succumb to Binghe's tactics.

"Don't say it like that." He moves his head, pulling his ear away from Binghe's reach. "I have no desire to consume more of your energy."

"Then what does master desire?" Luo Binghe presses, tilting his head so he is on Shen Yuan's line of vision. "What do you want, A-Yuan?"

Just a moment ago, Luo Binghe was the one teasing him. Now Shen Yuan is the one who has him in the palm of his hand. How could he ever be satisfied?

"A-Yuan," Binghe whines pathetically.

His love for Shen Yuan feels so overwhelming and all-consuming that Binghe doesn't know what to do with it. There is only one thing he knows how to do: beg for his shizun's attention and devour anything he is given.

To prevent Shen Yuan to stop him again, Luo Binghe swiftly changes their position, pinning Shen Yuan under him. His A-Yuan's mouth falls open in surprise and Binghe dives straight into it, pushing his tongue inside. He wants to show Shen Yuan that he may be a dog, but at least he knows how to use his tongue.

His hands find their way inside Shen Yuan's robes and roam through his chest. He allows his claws to extend a bit just so he can run the long nails on Yuan's skin, drawing a shiver out of him.

Shen Yuan lets out a noise of pleasure against his mouth and Luo Binghe swallows it right up. The sound awakes a visceral reaction in Binghe, because it proves Shen Yuan is enjoying this as well. Binghe preens with the knowledge that he is the one who caused it – and he wants to cause these noises again and again.

Encouraged by it, Luo Binghe kisses his A-Yuan even more enthusiastically. Until Shen Yuan breaks the kiss.

"Binghe, remember when I said it was enough?" Shen Yuan asks and Binghe feels a bucket of cold water falling into him.

But if his A-Yuan says it's enough, then it's enough. Luo Binghe would never push Shen Yuan's limits. He is not an actual beast.

"I really don't just want your energy," Shen Yuan continues. "But I… well, I heard dual cultivation could help with my condition."

Binghe's ears stand up to attention atop his head. He remembers Shan Qinghua telling him the same, but Luo Binghe never brought it up because he feared Shen Yuan might refuse it. He never thought his A-Yuan would be the one acknowledging the possibility. Is this his way of asking for what he wants?

"And is that something A-Yuan would like to try?" Luo Binghe asks carefully.

Shen Yuan turns his face to the side. Both his cheeks and ears are slightly pink, but Binghe's state must not be any better, because his cheeks are burning, his whole body feels on the verge of overheating.

He holds his breath as he waits for A-Yuan's answer, afraid of breaking the moment as if even breathing too loud might scare Shen Yuan away.

But his A-Yuan doesn't try to go away this time. Instead, he puts his arms around Binghe. He still doesn't look at him, but his body shows everything Binghe needs to know. His hands are on Binghe's neck, his legs writhing, his back arching up, allowing Binghe to clearly feel that Shen Yuan is as aroused as him. Even before he speaks, Luo Binghe already knows the answer.

"If Binghe has enough energy to spare…" Shen Yuan mutters and the confirmation sends sparkles throughout Binghe's whole body.

"Don't worry, A-Yuan." Luo Binghe opens a huge smile. "Demons are very vigorous creatures."

Shen Yuan experiences firsthand just how vigorous demons are. He feels like he is the one who has his energy wiped out.

It is uncertain if the dual cultivation helped him gain strength, but his body certainly feels like he has no strength left. Luo Binghe doesn't know the meaning of moderation. He really took seriously the challenge of licking Shen Yuan everywhere. And when he said he was fine with either position he was not joking, but the problem is that he wanted to try them all in one single night. And he cried through each one of them. When Shen Yuan tried to cover his face in his hand, Binghe cried and made him look at him; when he asked him to be gentler, Binghe cried; when he said he was too tired to be on top, Binghe cried. And every time Shen Yuan cave him. He doesn't trust those puppy eyes anymore! Shen Yuan would almost regret suggesting dual cultivation – except he doesn't, because it's not like he disliked the process.

Turning in bed, Shen Yuan lies on his side. Luo Binghe is miraculously still asleep, probably because he was too hyped last night and fell asleep much later than him. Shen Yuan doesn't even remember cleaning himself before passing out, but he wakes up without any trace on him, Luo Binghe having cleaned up them both.

Binghe's arms are around him, his naked chest falling up and down as he sleeps peacefully. Ha, now he is peaceful. Shen Yuan rests his head on a hand while he watches Luo Binghe sleep. Damn, Shen Yuan really loves him, doesn't he?

He remembers the system's words, "destined partner". Shen Yuan doesn't really know if destiny had a hand in pushing them together, but he is glad to have Luo Binghe in his life. He had to come to another world to meet him, but the bumpy journey was worth it now that Shen Yuan has found a safe home at Binghe's side. And he knows that he wouldn't trade anything for this.

He has reached the limit date to make use of the reward the system gave. Ten days have passed and Shen Yuan has made a decision. So he knocks on the system's door (figuratively speaking).

System, you there? I want to reclaim my reward.

The familiar black screen appears in front of him, leaving its self-induced "sleep mode". 

[System activated. You can make your wish.]

First of all, I have to make clear that I don't intend on going back to my world .

[The system will not force the host to go back.]

Great . Shen Yuan told Luo Binghe that he wouldn't leave and he would keep his promise even if he had to fight the system for it. Now, I need to ask you something: is it possible to cure my condition without having to consume yang energy anymore?

Being intimate with Binghe under the pretense of exchanging energy felt wrong, like he is using him. Shen Yuan wanted to be able to do these kinds of things just because he desired and not because of anything else. Not having to worry about literally freezing to death would be good too.

[The need to absorb yang energy is an inherent characteristic of dragons because of their qi. This system cannot change this.]

It is not surprising. Shen Yuan knew that things wouldn't be so easy, but Shen Yuan had thought it through in the last days.

And there is no other way of exchanging yang energy besides the ones you told me before? Something that lasts longer?

[...]

Come on, I know you like to keep things up from me.

Shen Yuan is well acquainted with the system's tendency of omitting important information, so he realized it could've as well not told him everything about how this whole energy-consuming thing works. If his guess is correct, the system only gave him the options that would push the "secret mission" of getting him together with Binghe – but maybe those were not the only options.

[... there is another way, but you would have to act by yourself. The system could not guarantee your safety.]

[This method would change the nature of your qi. When a dragon does this, they can not be considered divine beings anymore.]

Bingo. So the system really was hiding things. Shen Yuan quickly pushes it further for the information. Great, I never really wanted to be divine anyway . Tell me what exactly is this method.

[Every creature who is half-beast can be either a spirit or a demon, depending on their blood.]

[But if a spirit consumes a demon's blood or vice-versa, it is possible to awake that blood, which will cause a transformation in the being's nature.]

Shen Yuan surely did consume plenty of demon's blood. If I awaken Binghe's demon blood in me, would that transform me into a demon as well?

[Correct.]

[We advise you to consider it carefully because it is a dangerous and irreversible process.]

Tell me how I do this.

[First of all...]

Shen Yuan listens attentively to the system's explanation and falls into a pensive silence. He thinks about Binghe's blood flowing in his veins, mixed with his own just as their lives are. That blood is what can cure him, but also what could transform him forever. But didn't Luo Binghe already transform his life when he came into it? Becoming the same as Binghe didn't sound that bad.

"Is shizun watching me sleep?"

Shen Yuan startles, breaking from his reverie when he realizes he has seen distractedly staring in Binghe's direction while he thought, and that the man's eyes were already open.

"You still have the face to call me shizun after last night?" Shen Yuan admonishes, ignoring Binghe's question because there is no way he is going to admit he became the kind of sappy person who watches their partner sleep. "I am not your shizun anymore."

Binghe pouts and rubs his head lazily on Shen Yuan's neck like a sticky child. This guy, acting like an innocent puppy sometimes and like a demanding wolf at others.

"You're right, A-Yuan is not my shizun anymore," he surprisingly agrees. "You are my lover ."

Shen Yuan tries to shift away, but Binghe wraps his tail around him, pinning him in place just like he did multiple times the previous night. That annoying tail!

"Isn't that right, A-Yuan?" Luo Binghe insists, grinning at him. "You were the one who said you would give your reverse scale to your lover. And that's me. Your lover ."

Gosh, does he have to repeat that word so emphatically? Luo Binghe seems terribly proud of his title. Shen Yuan didn't really think it through before using it, he was too nervous when he gave Binghe the bracelet, feeling vulnerable at the fact he was exposing all his feelings with the gift. To think he almost gave Binghe a ring instead of a bracelet, but at the last minute, he decided that would be way too much (for now, at least). Cutting a piece of his reverse scale hurt more than he thought it would – he is still not that familiar with the whole dragon's anatomy

–, but it was nothing compared to all the pain Binghe suffered for him. Shen Yuan was never one to do grand romantic acts, but after giving Luo Binghe only painful marks, he wanted to give him a memento made only with good memories.

"People just don't use the word lover like that," Shen Yuan reasons.

"Why not?" Luo Binghe tilts his head to the side innocently, while he moves his tail very deliberately up and down Shen Yuan's body, the fur causing tickles on him. Shen Yuan bites his tongue, trying to suppress the sensation. "I am A-Yuan's lover. And mate. And cultivation partner."

Binghe's eyes sparkle so much Shen Yuan has the illusion he can see his own reflection on them when Luo Binghe gazes at him. "And A-Yuan is mine too, aren't you?"

Shen Yuan is trying to keep impassive, but the fluffy tail attacks him, purposefully brushing against the sensitive skin of his abdomen. A laugh escapes his throat against his will while he squirms.

"Yes, yes, you're right. Just stop that!" Shen Yuan hits his fists on Binghe's arm until the demon mercifully retreats his tail.

A huge smile is splattered on Binghe's face, showing his satisfaction with Shen Yuan's answer even though he used force (aka tickling) to make him admit it.

"I've never seen A-Yuan laughing before," Luo Binghe comments.

Shen Yuan huffs, covering his mouth. "If you try to use your tail on me again, I'll cut it off."

"Your smile is beautiful, A-Yuan. Please don't cover it from me anymore," Binghe says, ignoring the empty threat. He grins very innocently. "Besides, I've already seen everything there is to see."

Shen Yuan pushes the blanket higher up his naked body and smacks Binghe's head with a palm. "Aren't you too full of yourself?"

The nerve! He was getting too bold. If Shen Yuan gives him an inch, he wants a full mile. This dog needs to be taught some manners.

"No, I'm full of love for A-Yuan," Luo Binghe counters cheekily, until he sees Shen Yuan's stern look and his head bows down. "This demon apologizes for causing the green dragon's wrath. My master may punish me as he desires."

Shen Yuan clicks his tongue, but before getting more annoyed, the sentences remind him of what the system told him.

"Binghe," he starts in a more serious countenance. "You call me master like I'm someone of importance, but would you be disappointed if I wasn't a divine spirit anymore?"

Luo Binghe frowns in confusion. "Of course not. You are important to me because you are you ," he says fervently with evident sincerity. "I don't care about you being a divine spirit or not. In my eyes, there's no one more divine than you."

That is good to know, but also so embarrassing to hear. Shen Yuan knows he is the one who asked, but now he wants to hide under the covers to avoid Luo Binghe seeing his burning cheeks. Binghe has to learn to tone down a bit!

"If that's the case…" Shen Yuan says. "I want to ask your help with something."

"Are you sure this won't hurt you, A-Yuan?"

It will definitely hurt. He is asking Luo Binghe to literally burn him from the inside out. The system told him that the transformation was very dangerous and that he may be seriously injured in the process.

"It won't, it's completely safe," he lies to Binghe with a straight face.

There is no way he can tell the truth, or Luo Binghe will never agree to it. And it all depends on him. Binghe must use his powers to move his blood that is inside Shen Yuan's, rising its temperature to awaken the demonic transformation. Putting it simply, Shen Yuan's blood is going to be boiled inside his veins. Not his idea of a fun time, but he already experienced freezing over, so the opposite can't be too bad.

"Do you really want to do this?" Luo Binghe asks worriedly. "I don't mind sharing my energy with you for a lifetime. Or if A-Yuan didn't enjoy dual cultivating with me…"

Shen Yuan sighs. "That's not it, silly. We can still do that, but without any pretense," he explains, not wanting Binghe to think he is only interested in his energy. "I can stay with you for a lifetime without needing energy or anything else from you, just your company."

Binghe's eyes start to dangerously swim in tears. Shen Yuan started to become a specialist in identifying every type of Binghe's tears – the crying to get what he wants, the acting pitiful, the tears of pleasure –, and these mean he is one mean Luo Binghe is a minute away from either saying something embarrassing or jumping him.

"Because A-Yuan loves me?" Binghe says with a delighted smile before trying to kiss him. So it was both: embarrassing Shen Yuan and then jumping him.

But they have no time for this. If Shen Yuan lets Luo Binghe start kissing now who knows when he will stop, and the whole transformation thing won't happen. That was also the reason why Shen Yuan decided to do this in the garden and not in the bedroom, because he damn well knows how dangerous it is to be in a bed with Luo Binghe.

"You know it already," Shen Yuan retorts as he avoids Binghe's advances. "Let's get this over with. The sooner we're done the better, right?"

Luo Binghe is visibly sulky for not receiving his kiss, but he nods in agreement. Shen Yuan sits crosslegged legged in a meditation position amidst the grass, surrounded by flowers. The garden used to be rather bare, but Binghe tended to it, planted flowers, started growing a vegetable garden, and even found a small koi fish to live in the pond. The courtyard was little by little being transformed by him, becoming more colorful and lively with his presence. Shen Yuan trusts Luo Binghe to transform him as well.

"I will start now." Binghe sits in a similar position in front of him and holds his wrists, pressing a thumb to the veins visible through the skin. "Tell me if you feel any pain and I will stop."

Shen Yuan immediately feels pain.

It is like he was thrown into a stove and is being roasted alive. Back in his original world, he once burned himself while frying an egg. It hurt terribly, but it wasn't even one ounce of what he is feeling right now. It is not like being sprayed with hot oil, it's like the oil is inside himself, burning his veins.

Shen Yuan grits his teeth, enduring it. If he says anything, Luo Binghe will never finish the process. And since they already started, it is better to go to the end. Binghe has his eyes closed, concentrating on moving the blood inside Shen Yuan and inserting his power in it. The tear-shaped demon mark on his forehead starts glimmering, emitting a red light that becomes stronger and stronger, until Shen Yuan also has to close his eyes not to be blinded by it.

His body temperature is rising so much that Shen Yuan feels feverish, way worse than any heatstroke he ever got. The heat of the sun couldn't rival the heat inside him at the moment. He feels his skin starting to peel and burn blisters popping on it. Blood leaves his nose, slipping down to his chin.

It is a good thing Luo Binghe can't see him now, this is Shen Yuan's first thought. Things are not looking too good. He remembers the system warning him about the dangers of the transformation and now he understands why people don't usually do this.

Breathing becomes an arduous chore for him, his lungs are burning, like all the air was replaced with fire. His heart too seems to be aflame, beating painfully fast. Shen Yuan wants to gnaw at his own chest and rip all the organs out. His claws come out instinctively, together with the horns he normally just has in his dragon form.

And the transformation doesn't stop. Shen Yuan finds himself incapable of controlling his form. Hard scales start covering his burned skin and his tail is let loose, humping strongly against the ground. His body is rebelling against him as if instinctively fighting against its transformation. The demon and spiritual energy start battling inside him. Sometimes a piercing cold replace the heat, just to be overtaken by it again.

Shen Yuan can't contain himself any longer and a scream of pain escapes his throat. The sound alerts Luo Binghe, who immediately drops his wrists.

"A-Yuan!"

Luo Binghe stops using his power, but it is too late. The demon blood was already awakened.

Binghe keeps calling for him, but it's hard to hear it clearly with all the blood rushing through his ears.

Opening his eyes with difficulty, Shen Yuan tries to look at Binghe, but all he can see is the light of the demon mark starting to flicker and going from red to golden. It is the last thing he sees before his body finishes transforming, making him assume the dragon form.

His body is out of control and keeps growing. With his last thread of sanity, Shen Yuan thinks about how disastrous it would be if the dragon go to its maximum size. A dragon's original form can go for miles. It would ruin their house and the garden Binghe built so carefully. Using his last reserve of strength, Shen Yuan flies into the sky.

"Shen Yuan!" Luo Binghe screams as the dragon soars into the air, going so high he passes the nearest clouds.

For a moment, Binghe can't see him anymore. Then the body grows until it's visible from far away. And keeps growing and growing, creating a shadow over the courtyard, then all over the bamboo forest. For minutes, the massive body blocks the sun.

When the dragon's body started to shrink again, it was shining with a golden light. Years later, the common folk will still be telling legends of the day a giant dragon swallowed the sun, stealing part of his gleam. Some believed it was a deity, some a demon – both were true. At that moment, the dragon changed from a divine spirit to a demon.

A ball of fire left Shen Yuan's throat. But contrary to the terrible pain he felt before, the fire didn't hurt. His body felt better than ever, not only healthier but stronger, powerful. He swirls in the air, breathing fire again just because he can. With a brush of his hand, water rains down on it. Both water and fire are now under his control, the yin and yang energy inside him reaching a balance.

The green scales on his body assume a golden translucent luster over them, making his body seem to glow when he moves. When he feels the transformation is finished, Shen Yuan flies back down, returning home. He urges his body to become smaller, so when he enters the courtyard's garden he is the perfect size to just dive right into Binghe's opened arms.

Luo Binghe catches him and hugs him tightly, shaking and sobbing with the fear that he had gotten hurt. Shen Yuan licks Binghe's cheeks and the corner of his eyes, catching the salty tears with his tongue.

"A-Yuan," Luo Binghe says in a choked voice, rubbing his face against the green fur on Shen Yuan's face while he loops his arm around the dragon's neck, hands touching the reverse scales under his jaw, but the Shen Yuan doesn't mind; after all, he already gave him Binghe access to his most vulnerable part. "I was so scared you were hurt. I thought you would– you're not hurt, right?"

I am fine. Better than ever .

To comfort the crying man, Shen Yuan wraps his whole body around Luo Binghe like a snake. But like this, with his small limbs, is hard to hold him properly, so Shen Yuan transforms back. His arms close around Binghe, hugging him closely.

"See, there's nothing wrong with me," he says.

Luo Binghe shifts to look at him and his eyes go wide. "A-Yuan, you look… different."

Now that he is seeing Binghe's face closely, Shen Yuan notices that the demon also looks different. The demon mark on his forehead is no longer red but gold and its shape went from a full tear to just half of it, as if broken in half. But, the most shocking thing is that one of Binghe's eyes turned green. It's as if a part of Shen Yuan got transferred to him when he helped him transform. If this happened to him just by helping, Shen Yuan wonders what he looks like after basically being reborn from fire. Is his skin burned? When Binghe said he looks "different", did he mean ugly ? 

"Come with me while I take a look," he asks Binghe, afraid to see it by himself.

Hand in hand with Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan walks to the pond. He bends over to see his reflection in the clear water and sees… his usual face, just like it was when he transmigrated, the traces that he's grown to consider as his. There are changes in his appearance, though.

On his forehead, there is a golden mark shaped like a semi-tear, like the other half of the mark Binghe has. It is proof that Shen Yuan is now a demon. Also, his dragon's horns and tail are out, not disappearing even when Shen Yuan tries to send them away. The horns turned from white to yellow, as if made of pure gold. He touches the horns apprehensively, thinking about the unwanted attention it will draw when he tries to go anywhere.

"Is it too weird?" he asks Binghe self-consciously.

Luo Binghe looks at him with his now double-colored eyes full of wonder. He carefully brushes a hand on Shen Yuan's golden horns.

"No, it's pretty," he answers.

Shen Yuan snorts. "No need to lie to make me feel better. This honestly looks–"

"Beautiful. A-Yuan could never look anything less than beautiful," Binghe interrupts him. "Golden fits you, A-Yuan."

Of course Binghe's opinion shouldn't be taken into consideration, since he looks at him through rose-colored eyes. But… if he says it doesn't look bad, maybe Shen Yuan can learn to like this new appearance too.

He points at his own forehead, then at Binghe's. "We are matching."

A smile starts forming on Binghe's lips, but it freezes midway as if he is hesitant about something.

"Won't you regret becoming a demon, A-Yuan?'

"Of course not. I'm glad to be the same as Binghe," Shen Yuan says dotingly, his green tail moving on its own accord to wrap itself around Binghe's arm.

Luo Binghe brushes his fingers on his own demon mark, then at Shen Yuan's. His smile grows to its full length, outstandingly bright.

"A-Yuan got half of my mark," he murmurs dazedly, like he is speaking to himself, not believing it.

"And you got part of me, too," Shen Yuan points out, motioning to his right eye, which has turned green.

Luo Binghe steps closer, grabbing Shen Yuan's hands. Their tails come closer, coiling around each other.

"I already carried the whole of A-Yuan in my heart long before this," he says seriously and Shen Yuan would complain about his tendency to speak cheesy things, but Binghe is so solemn that he doesn’t have the heart to complain. "But I am glad that now everyone who looks can see that we're connected."

"Is that what you find most important of the whole thing?" Shen Yuan snorts, not surprised anymore at how Binghe prioritizes things.

"No, the most important thing is that you are well." Luo Binghe lifts one of Shen Yuan's hands and presses the palm to his face. "You don't feel cold to the touch anymore."

Shen Yuan brushes his finger against Binghe's cheek "Thanks to you. Binghe has given me his warmth as a sacrifice, hasn't he?"

Tightening his grip on Shen Yuan's hand, Luo Binghe shakes his head.

"It was not a sacrifice," he affirms decisively, his heterochromatic eyes fixed on Shen Yuan to prove how earnest he is. "My warmth, my blood, my heart. Take it all, it belongs to you."

Shen Yuan cradles Binghe's face in his hand with a fond smile.

"Dummy," he says softly. "All I need from you is that you stay by my side."

Luo Binghe leans forward, pressing their foreheads together so the demon marks are connected, like two halves coming together.

"That is easy. There is nowhere else I'd rather be," Binghe answers, brushing their noses together. "I'll stay as long as A-Yuan wants me."

Shen Yuan opens an unabashed smile. He doesn't bother to cover it, and doesn't try to hide his flushed face. He allows Binghe to see him. 

Gazing at Binghe, he smiles and says:

"Then stay forever."

Don't think I forgot about my reward. I will tell you what I want.

[Didn't you already get what you desired?]

But you didn't do anything! It was Binghe's work, Shen Yuan yells at the system. Don't try to fool me, I still have a wish to make.

[...]

[The system recognizes you have a right to make a wish.]

Great. Here is what I want: to be free of the system. I won't do missions anymore.

[But the purpose of the transmigration is to fulfill the missions.]

Didn't you the main purpose was to find my destined partner?

Shen Yuan glances over at Luo Binghe. The black dog is curled on his tail, resting his head on the dragon's green-gold body while taking a nap. On his wrist, even in this form, is the bracelet he gave him. And in his forehead, there is a speck of gold, the permanent mark they share – but more permanent than that is the mark he left on Shen Yuan's life. 

I did find him, Shen Yuan asserts. So, no more missions. The system gave me this life, but from now on, I will live it as I want.

[Does the host confirm this wish?]

[You will not be able to change your wish after confirmation.]

Shen Yuan notices Luo Binghe stirring. The dog opens his eyes, one black and the other green, and presses his snout against his chest.

A-Yuan, he communicates mentally. I had a nice dream.

Shen Yuan presses his head against Binghe, feeling the demon dog's warmth against him. What did you dream of?

Transforming into his human form, Binghe uses his voice to answer. "You."

The dragon's body is replaced by a man with a green tail and golden horns. Shen Yuan allows Luo Binghe to cuddle against him. As he lies there in Binghe's arms, in his home, he knows there isn't anything he would wish for.

I confirm my wish.

🐉

"Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

And I woke up just in time, now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline"

Dress - Taylor Swift