Archive of Our Own

Penelope felt strangely off kilter after everyone had left the reception. 

The moment with Luke had sent her thoughts into a frenzy and absolutely none of them made any sense.

Her whole world felt like it had tilted on its axis and she couldn’t make heads or tails of anything.

It had been an innocuous moment, all things considered. She had been thinking of that Emily Dickinson quote, but couldn’t quite remember the words, so she’d asked, and Luke had known which quote she was talking about. 

Which again, wasn’t particularly weird. Emily Dickinson was incredibly famous, and that quote was probably one of the most famous Dickinson quotes. But Penelope couldn’t get the moment out of her head. The way that Luke had known immediately which quote she meant and had repeated it word for word without having to think about it, like it had already been on his mind. 

The way that she had given him the perfect opening with her ‘You know Emily Dickinson?’ but he hadn’t taken it. She’d been expecting him to say ‘What, a guy like me can’t know Emily Dickinson?’ or something just as teasing. They were good at teasing. But he hadn’t made a joke. Instead, he’d shaken his head, a small smile on his features, and simply replied ‘I know that quote.’ 

And then there was something about the way he’d looked at her as they’d clinked their glasses, his grin almost blinding. It had been a while since he’d looked at her like that, she realized. 

The whole encounter was almost strangely reminiscent of their date, she thought. The wine, the smiles, the easy conversation once the pressure had been lifted. But that was a completely insane thought, honestly. She typically tried not to think about their date all that much. It was easier to write everything off as wasn’t meant to be and call it a day. It didn’t help to sit and over analyze every little thing. 

But sometimes she caught herself wondering. 

Derek had been disappointed when she’d called him after the date. He’d sat and listened as she detailed the evening, but he hadn’t agreed with her. He had thought that she’d thrown in the towel too quickly. He had also pointed out that telling Luke that she found it difficult to talk to him without dunking on him veered away from teasing and into mean territory. 

Which… yeah, it did, but Penelope had never really figured out how to take back that statement without opening up the conversation again, and she didn’t want to do that.

“You’re holding yourself back, baby girl. One awkward dinner with a man that you’ve never had trouble talking to and you’re done? Things can be awkward when you’re making a big change, but is that a reason to not do it? To give up on something good, something real?”

She had protested that the date was awkward, that it wasn’t going well at all, and that Luke agreed with her. She’d felt so relieved when things went back to normal between them. Teasing and laughter and no pressure. She couldn’t give that up. 

Derek hadn’t fought her on it for long, eventually dropping the subject and switching to regular old catching up, but sometimes Penelope couldn’t help but think about it. 

She had liked Luke when he asked her out. He was smart, funny, one of her favorite people, and there had always been a spark of something between them. But then the date had gone poorly, and she’d assumed that whatever that spark was, it wasn’t romantic. 

She’d lived comfortably in that reality for three years, never letting herself imagine a what if. She’d been burned enough times, she didn’t need to be burned again. Especially if it might cost her friendship with Luke. 

But it reminded her of something JJ had said, years ago.

‘It’s just funny,’ JJ mused, stirring her margarita. It was the Sunday after Elizabeth’s stalking case, and JJ had taken the girls out for drinks. 

‘What’s funny?’ Penelope asked.

‘The way you pretend Luke isn’t your best friend.’

Emily and Tara both laughed, but Penelope was confused. ‘Luke Alvez is not my best friend.’

JJ leveled her with an exasperated look. ‘You realize that he understands you better than anyone else, right?’

‘He does not—‘ Penelope started, but Emily cut her off.

‘Yes, he does. And it’s especially impressive considering you’ve never given him an inch. All you do is tease him. I honestly don’t know how he did it, but it’s like he knows what you need before you even do. I’ve never seen anyone get you like that, not even Morgan.”

Penelope gaped at them.

‘Have you ever noticed how he clocks your emotions?’ JJ asked. ‘When you’re in a good mood he teases you back, when you’re stressed he plays the good sport, and when you’re freaking out he always manages to calm you down, even when the rest of us can’t.’

Penelope thought of the way he had let her pretend that she was thanking him for helping Elizabeth yesterday, like it had nothing to do with her. She thought of the squeaky cat figurine in her office, of the way he had been the first person to point out that she didn’t look at crime scene photos and ask if she was okay after she’d had to watch the snuff film. 

‘I think you guys broke her,’ Tara mock whispered, a knowing look on her face.

‘You’re all my best friends,’ Penelope said finally. ‘And I need another drink.’

It had been a long time since Penelope had thought about that conversation, but it made her stop up short, the night of their failed date coming into startling clarity in her mind. 

The girls had been right, Luke did understand her better than she gave him credit for. He was always giving her exactly what she needed, even when her stress led her teasing to become sharper, more mean, he always just let her. He had never called her out on it or asked her to stop, even though she was sure that he wasn’t always just fine with it. He let her do what she needed to do, even at the cost of his own feelings.

The date, Penelope thought wildly. Is that what he had done on the date?

So much of her acceptance after the date, her relief , had been that Luke agreed with her. They were on the same page. But come to think of it, she couldn’t remember if that was true.

She collapsed onto her couch, that night shining through her thoughts in a whole new light. The date had been clunky and awkward, no doubt about that, but they’d agreed, right? She thought back on the conversation, on what Luke had said. 

Nothing , she realized. He had agreed that it was clunky, seemed just as relieved as she was that they could agree there, but he hadn’t said anything about the two of them not working. He had asked why they weren’t that awkward all the other times they talked, but that was it. 

She had told him that she found it difficult to have a conversation with him without dunking on him. Which, as Derek had pointed out, was maybe not the nicest thing to say. Especially considering it wasn’t even true , but she’d been desperate to get back on familiar ground and may have overshot.

That had been when Luke’s behavior had changed. He hadn’t been expecting her to say that, but even then, he let her get away with nothing more than a ‘that’s cold’. His relieved smile had dropped, shifting into something more reserved. She hadn’t clocked it at the moment, but she remembered the change. 

He never agreed. She had been the one to say that whatever was between them wasn’t romantic, and he hadn’t said anything. She had been the one to say that his right person was out there somewhere, but it wasn’t her. All he’d had to say to that was a desperately sad ‘Where?’ .

She had been the one to say all of it. Luke had said nothing . 

For three years, she’d convinced herself that it was mutual, but now she wasn’t so sure.

Was that just him doing what he always does? she wondered. Was he just giving me what he thought I needed? Had he disagreed? Had he wanted to still try?

Penelope thought about what he’d said about them not being that awkward at work. Then, she thought about Tyler, about how they hadn’t done a fancy first date because they didn’t need to.

If we hadn’t done a fancy dinner, if we hadn’t been so stupidly polite , would things have gone differently?

Horribly, Penelope felt like she might cry. 

Had Luke just been letting her do what she needed to do? Had he stayed quiet not because he agreed, but because he didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable.

She thought about the hope in his voice the night he’d asked her out, the nervousness on his face, the way he’d grinned when she’d said yes. She thought about the way he’d phrased it, ‘I was thinking, since we’re not going to work together anymore’ . He had been thinking about it. He had been waiting for that moment.

She’d never even thought about the implication behind those words: That he had wanted to ask her out before, but didn’t want to do anything while they still worked together. 

Suddenly, it was as though her heart had stopped beating. 

Clumsily, she fumbled for her phone. 

She tapped her foot anxiously as it rang. 

And rang.

And ra—

“Hey, sorry, I was just checking on the kids,” JJ said. “What’s up, did I leave something?”

“Was Luke in love with me?” Penelope asked, her voice frantic even to her own ears.

“What?” 

Penelope took a deep breath, desperately trying to calm her racing thoughts. “Luke, three years ago when he asked me to dinner. Was he in love with me?”

JJ was suspiciously silent on the other end of the line and Penelope’s heart dropped. 

After what seemed like an eternity, JJ responded. “What brought this on, Pen?”

“That’s not an answer. That’s answering a question with another question, which you guys always say—“

“Okay, okay,” JJ interrupted. “I can’t actually answer that question.”

“Because you don’t know, or because you won’t tell me?”

“Seriously, Penelope, what is this about?”

“I just,” she paused, trying to organize her thoughts. “I was thinking about what you guys said about Luke years ago, about how he’s always understanding what I need. I was thinking about our date and I realized… I don’t know.”

“Refresh my memory on what I said years ago,” JJ replied slowly.

“That Luke understood me better than anybody. That he knew what I needed before I did and went out of his way to make sure I had it. I told you it wasn’t true back then.”

“Yeah, I remember,” JJ sighed. “Look, I don’t know if Luke was in love with you, it’s not like he talked about his crush on you to any of us. But we all knew he was into you, he wasn’t exactly subtle.”

“He had a crush on me?” Penelope asked, her voice suddenly very small.

It was like she could feel JJ rolling her eyes through the phone. “Of course he did, Pen. Tell me you knew that. You could have asked Luke for the moon and he would have found a way to give  it to you. Watching you two was like watching a teen rom-com, the way you were pulling each other’s metaphorical pigtails. None of us could believe it when that date didn’t go anywhere, but you were just laughing it off and Luke actually refused to talk about it.”

Penelope didn’t know what to say. 

You could have asked Luke for the moon and he would have found a way to give it to you.

“He never said anything,” she whispered, almost to herself. 

“If you shut him down on the date, then why would he?” JJ asked. “You know Luke, he would never disrespect your explicit wishes like that.”

Penelope opened and closed her mouth, at a total loss. “Oh my god.”

“Why are you thinking about this now?” JJ asked.

“I was just rethinking my romantic decisions,” Penelope replied weakly, desperate for a bit of levity. 

JJ, ever the supportive friend, snorted. “Yeah I can see why that might be on your mind.”

“Do you think,” Penelope paused, figuring out how to word her question. “Do you think he got over it? Luke, I mean. The crush.”

JJ hesitated. “Do you know that he volunteered to be the one to convince you to come back? I offered, we hadn’t caught up in a while and I was happy to go see you, but he insisted that it should be him. He didn’t want to give you a reason to be upset with me. And when we all found out about Green, he defended you, he told Emily not to be too hard on you. When Rossi was missing, he volunteered to work the case with you. He was worried about you.”

This was just a night for revelations apparently. “I didn’t know that,” Penelope whispered.

She thought about ‘It wasn’t a bet’ and ‘Maybe if we lean on each other’ and ‘Have some tea’.

JJ hummed. “He looks at you the way he always has, and he still talks about you the same way he did before he asked you out. Even after the date, he never talked about you like you were anything less than one of his favorite people. When you were gone, he refused to learn the names of the people that were hired to do your job remotely. He called them ‘the remote Garcias’ and every single time they sent us information, he mentioned that you would have done a better job.”

“Oh.” Penelope wasn’t sure what to say. 

“Yeah,” JJ agreed. “Why didn’t you try again with him?” she asked. “I always thought you were pretty into him too, despite how hard you tried to pretend otherwise.”

“I…the date was awkward,” Penelope explained weakly. “We could barely hold a conversation.”

“So you just called it? You guys have never had an issue holding a conversation before, so you know it wasn’t the two of you. Maybe it was the atmosphere, or the pressure of an official first date.”

It was the same thing Derek had said years ago, which was officially too much . Penelope rubbed her temple, feeling the start of a headache. “I guess. It doesn’t matter now.”

“Are you okay?” JJ asked, and Penelope could hear the concern laced through her voice.

“I think I just need to think about everything,” she said after a moment.

“Alright,” JJ said slowly. “Let me know if you need anything, okay? You know I love you.”

That, at least, made Penelope smile. “I love you more.”

“Not possible,” JJ insisted. “Get some sleep, you sound exhausted.”

Penelope laughed. “I am exhausted.”

They said their good nights and Penelope set her phone down, staring at it in shock.

It was like the past three years of her life had been a lie. 

Penelope had hardly slept, so she was more than a little worn out when she got to work. She had to sift through all of the online data they had pertaining to the case and pull out the things that were most important when it came to Voit. 

She got there an hour earlier than she usually did and got straight to work. It was awful to read through the contents of the messages, but it did help take her mind off her muddled emotions after the night before. Plus, she wanted to make sure she found everything . Emily had been incredibly kind in not suspending her for being involved with a key witness and defying a direct order, Penelope intended to make up for her mistakes.

“Good morning, Penelope!”

She jumped so violently that her cup of pens toppled over on her desk. 

“Woah, what’s got you so jumpy?” Luke asked, leaning against the desk like he always did.

“Nothing,” Penelope replied, her voice surprisingly even. “I’ve just been staring at Voit’s message board all morning.”

“Do you need a break?” Luke asked, his voice achingly soft. He was worried about you , JJ’s words rang in her mind. Penelope shoved them away. 

“No, I’m fine,” she assured him. “I have to do it all eventually and it’s better I do it sooner rather than later.”

She watched out of the corner of her eye as Luke tilted his head, his brows drawn together. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Positive. Besides, I’ve seen it all before anyway.”

“That doesn’t—“ Luke cut himself off with a sigh. “Okay, but take a break if you need it.”

Penelope hummed in agreement. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright. I know you guys have a lot of work to do on your end anyway.”

“Yeah,” Luke agreed, sounding tired. “But I’ve always got time for you. Let me know if you need anything.”

Penelope could only nod, her voice stuck somewhere in her throat. 

Luke gave her a soft smile and then squeezed her shoulder once as he left. 

Her skin burned where he’d touched her, and it was then that she noticed the to-go cup from LunaCorn on the desk behind where he’d been just a moment before.

She worked on the chat logs through lunch, so she shouldn’t have been surprised when JJ poked her head into her office around two in the afternoon.

“Hey, I brought pasta salad.”

“Oh, my hero,” Penelope crooned, shoving her chair back and making grabby hands at the paper container. 

“Any particular reason you’ve been hiding away in here all day?” JJ mused, settling into the free chair in the office. 

Penelope felt heat rise in her cheeks. “I’m not hiding,” she protested weakly. “This has to get done.”

“It does,” JJ granted, “But you are hiding. You sent me a question over email.”

“So I could refer to it later if I needed to.”

JJ leveled her with a supremely unimpressed glare. “You literally have not left this room all day.”

“Not true, I went to the restroom.”

“Yeah, cause that’s what I meant,” JJ muttered. She sighed and pinned Penelope with a calculating look. “Are you avoiding Luke?”

“No!” Penelope replied immediately. It might have been more believable if her voice hadn’t gone up two octaves. 

“Why?” JJ asked softly. 

Penelope glared at the floor. “I’m not—I’m not avoiding him. I just haven’t had a reason to see him. I talked to him this morning.”

“I know,” JJ said. “He’s the one that told us you were probably still working on this when you missed lunch.”

The fact that he had noticed she missed lunch wrapped itself around her heart and squeezed. 

“I’m not avoiding him,” Penelope repeated, her voice small. 

“Is this about the conversation we had last night?” 

“No.” A pause, and then, “Yes. I don’t know.”

“Penelope,” JJ sighed. “You can’t avoid Luke because you think he might still have feelings for you.”

“That’s not why.”

“Well, then why?”

Penelope sighed, picking at a loose thread on her dress. “I’m worried that I hurt him,” she admitted.

She didn’t realize she’d been expecting JJ to dispute it until her best friend didn’t answer. Panic started to creep in around the edges of her vision. 

Penelope chanced a look at her best friend and was horrified to find an expression of sadness on her face. “JJ?”

JJ shook her head and sighed. “You did hurt him, Pen.”

“What?” Penelope whispered.

“With the Tyler thing, you hurt all of us. It was a betrayal that none of us were expecting. But you’ve apologized, and we’re working past it. Luke wasn’t just angry, though. He never said anything, but he was really hurt. I’m not going to pretend to know why, but it was different than the hurt I felt. I was hurt because I’m your best friend, and you didn’t come to me. With Luke, I don’t know. He forgave you so quickly, he was so worried about your well being that I don’t know if he gave himself more than a day to process his own feelings. I think you should talk to him.”

Penelope stared at her, a rush of emotions crashing through her. “I am sorry about how I handled everything, JJ. I messed up, I know.”

“Yeah,” JJ said, tilting her head in agreement. “We’re okay, really. I just think it’s different for Luke. He’s always putting other people's needs before his own, and we all love him in part because of how much he cares, but he needs that care too.”

Penelope took a deep breath and finally said the only thing she’s really been able to think about since the night before. “I think I made a mistake with Luke.”

JJ smiled sadly. “What are you going to do about it?”

Penelope cocked her head. “You’re not going to ask me what I mean?”

JJ laughed. “I’m pretty sure I know what you mean, what I don’t know is what you’re going to do.”

“I’m not sure,” Penelope admitted. “I don’t really trust myself and my feelings right now. I don’t always make the best decisions when it comes to relationships. I’m not sure what I’m feeling. I’m not sure what I was feeling three years ago. I don’t want to hurt him more.”

“I think he would let you,” JJ said. “I also think that if you told him exactly that, then he would give you time to figure it out.”

“What if I figure out that I was right?” Penelope whispered. “What if I tell him this now, and then figure out that I don’t want him.”

“That might happen,” JJ granted, “but it might not. Either way, I think you need to talk to Luke, even if it’s just to apologize and nothing else.”

Penelope nodded. “Right.”

JJ smiled and stood, reaching out to cover Penelope’s hands with her own. “You’ll be fine. Luke isn’t going anywhere.”

“Thank you,” Penelope said. “I realize I’m dumping a lot on you.”

“You can dump all your feelings on me all the time, Penelope. I love you and I’m always here to be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, you know that.”

Penelope smiled. “Same for you.”

JJ paused as she headed towards the door. “You know, sometimes I think you and Luke are the best of us.”

“What do you mean?”

JJ smiled, her hand on the door. “You both love with everything you have, regardless of how it affects you.”

And then she was gone, and Penelope was left with her own thoughts once more. 

She went back to therapy, figuring that she could use some help untangling the web of thoughts and feelings she’d been overcome with, which helped. It wasn’t easy to dive into her past relationships, to point out the unhealthy patterns. 

It did a lot to sour her mood towards Tyler, as her new therapist was not one to hold back, and she quickly pointed out the pile of red flags that Penelope had willfully ignored. Her therapist pointed out that none of this was actually new information to Penelope, which was a tough thing to confront. She had known what some of Tyler’s behaviors were indicative of, and yet she had let herself act blind. 

Her therapist, Dr. Kline, was also quick to dive in on insecurities. She made Penelope detail her entire romantic history, from high school to present, and helped her analyze every last one of them. Decisions she had made, scars that she’d been left with, long lasting impacts on the way she approached both her self worth and the way she approached romance. 

They spent two whole sessions breaking down her dynamic with Derek and how it may have warped her perception of both romantic and platonic dynamics. They went over the betrayal she’d felt when Luke joined the team, not a betrayal by Luke or Derek, but how she had felt like her feelings were betraying her and her relationship with Derek. 

She and Derek had never been romantic, and while she was willing to admit that she might have been in love with him if she’d ever given herself the chance to fall, she never had. She had known immediately upon meeting Derek Morgan what the possibilities were, and so she’d shut that door before they were even truly friends. 

Nonetheless, Luke was, for all intents and purposes, Derek’s replacement, which had caused problems in Penelope’s head. Still raw from Derek leaving, she had been wholly unprepared for Luke Alvez. She hadn’t had her walls up fast enough, so she had compensated by being mean to him, hoping to give herself some room to build up her defenses, but it hadn’t worked. 

She’d had a crush on him basically from the get go, despite her considerable efforts to make sure that she wouldn’t.

He was, well, Luke . He was intelligent and funny and compassionate. He had clocked her desperate need to not like him immediately, despite not knowing her, and he had played into it. He had given as good as he got with their teasing, he had let her get her stress out through barbs directed at him and never once complained. He had not only noticed her tendency to not look at crime scene photos, he had also been the first to express concern in a situation where she’d had no choice. He was always checking in on her, making sure she was okay, going out of his way to cheer her up.

She never stood a chance.

But Penelope was experienced with inconvenient crushes, and she had locked it away, never to be looked at again. She’d been so good at ignoring it, that she’d been able to befriend Lisa without any pain. So good at ignoring it, that she’d forgotten about it by the time he had asked her out.

Her therapist asked her point blank if she had let that particular wall down when she went on a date with him, and Penelope was horrified to realize that no, she had not. She had kept that wall up firmly throughout their date, fully expecting it to go wrong anyway.

“That’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Dr. Kline said, smiling sadly. 

And she was right. 

Penelope began to wonder what might happen if she let that wall down, if she asked Luke to try again.

Penelope managed to avoid spending any significant time around Luke for about three weeks, and she was slowly but surely sifting through her feelings. She was her usual self around him in group settings, but she found excuse after excuse to not have to be alone with him. Her wall around her feelings for him was slowly crumbling, and she didn’t want to hurt him by acting prematurely. 

What she hadn’t counted on was Luke noticing. Looking back, she should have expected it, but she had thought she’d been subtle about it. 

Her therapist was going to have a field day with the panic that rushed through her upon opening her door to Luke on Friday night. 

She didn’t check her camera when the knock came at her door, which was her first mistake.

Closing the door in his face before he could even say anything was probably her second.

Regret rushed through her. She took a deep breath, schooling her features, and opened the door again.

“Did you just slam the door in my face?” he asked, concern etched across his face even as his voice came out utterly bewildered.

“No?” Penelope said, although her voice was too high and she said it like a question. “Okay, yes, maybe.”

She stepped back to let Luke into her apartment. 

He came in slowly, still looking at her like she made no sense. In his defense, she wasn’t sure she did make sense at the moment. 

“What is going on?” he asked slowly, and she felt strangely like a wild animal he was trying not to frighten.

“Nothing,” she said, and thankfully her voice was closer to normal. 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said slowly, like he wasn’t sure, “and you just slammed the door in my face.”

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” Penelope replied, ignoring the door comment because she really had no way to explain that.

“What’s going on?” Luke asked again, and for the first time Penelope registered the exhaustion in his voice. 

“Nothing is going on.”

Luke shook his head. “Something is going on. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks, and I asked JJ if you were okay because you weren’t talking to me, and she told me to give you time, which implies that there is in fact something going on. It turns out three weeks is about as long as I can live with you avoiding me, and you’re not budging and JJ won’t talk so…” he trailed off, shrugging helplessly. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

Damn it, JJ , Penelope thought. 

She sighed and walked around him, collapsing down onto the couch. She went over her options quickly in her mind, and while denying everything was certainly the most appealing option, she knew she couldn’t do it. For one, her new therapist wanted her to talk to Luke, which was usually a pretty concrete sign that she should. For another thing, she couldn’t get JJ’s voice out of her head.

He needs that care too.

She sighed and motioned for him to join her on the couch. 

Luke looked at her for a long moment, his brows still stitched together with concern, before slowly sitting down. He faced her, waiting patiently.

“I don’t really know how to talk about this,” Penelope started, and then cringed when she realized it sounded like something else she’d said to him, three years ago. “I’ve been trying to work through it myself so it might not make a lot of sense.”

“Please, Penelope,” Luke said, his voice filled to the brim with care and concern, but it was the undercut of hurt that spurred her to continue.

“Three years ago, on our date–”

“That’s what this is about?” Luke asked. 

Penelope held up a hand to silence him. “Just, listen, please.” She took a deep breath. “I said a lot of things that night. I told you that I found it difficult to have a conversation with you where I wasn't making fun of you. I was wrong, and that was an unkind thing for me to say. It isn’t true at all, and I’m sorry for saying it.”

Luke gaped at her. “It’s okay,” he said finally. “We tease each other, it's what we do.”

Penelope nodded. “We do, but I made it seem like I didn’t value your friendship, like you were nothing more than someone to tease, and that wasn’t fair. You’ve always been someone I could lean on, even when we weren’t as close. You’ve always supported me and of course we have real conversations. I’m sorry that I ever implied otherwise.”

“Thank you,” Luke replied, a small, sad smile breaking through the concern. “I appreciate that. Is this what has been bothering you? Why you’ve been avoiding me?” 

“Part of it,” she admitted. “When you found out about Tyler, you pointed out that it sounded like I had only come to you because I couldn’t talk to anyone else. That’s not true—well, it’s partly true, but I don’t want you to think that you’re the last person I want to talk about things with. I didn’t go to you because I knew I was in the wrong and I couldn’t talk to anyone, I only talked to you about it because you figured it out. I’m sorry about how I handled that conversation as well.”

“It’s alright, I understand that.” He paused, scanning her face like he was trying to figure something out. “Why didn’t you just talk to me if you were feeling bad?”

“Because I didn’t know how to apologize without bringing everything else up.”

“What else is there?”

Penelope looked away, unable to meet his gaze as she spoke. “When I told you that I didn’t think we should try again, when I said that we each had the right person out there, but we weren’t each other’s, did you disagree?”

She felt, rather than saw him freeze. “What?”

“The date,” she pushed on, determined to know the truth. “When I said all that stuff about us not being right for each other, about dating being a bad idea, you never actually agreed with me. You let me do all the talking and I want to know if you disagreed, if you had a different opinion.”

“Why?” Luke finally managed, his voice carefully guarded in a way Penelope wasn’t used to hearing.

“Because I need to know,” she whispered, still looking away. Answering a question with a question, she noted. That ‘why?’ was answer enough, but she needed to hear him say it. 

The silence between them stretched, and Penelope wasn’t sure she remembered how to breathe. 

“I had a different opinion,” Luke finally said, his voice so quiet that she almost couldn’t hear him. 

Penelope snapped her gaze up to look at him, but found that he was the one looking away now. A faint flush was spreading across his neck and the tips of his ears, and his shoulders were pulled taut with tension. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why does it matter?” Luke countered, something sharp in his voice. “Why would I fight you on that? You didn’t feel that way about me, so we ended it.”

“I never said that!” Penelope cried, but she immediately snapped her mouth shut. That veered dangerously close to admitting how she had been feeling, and she wasn’t sure she was ready. 

“Never said what? That you don’t feel that way for me?” his voice had taken on an air of helplessness. “You made it pretty clear, Penelope.”

“Do you still have a different opinion?” She asked, still desperate to avoid talking about her own feelings. She watched as Luke figured out what she meant. 

“What are you looking for here?” he asked finally. 

“I just want to know—“

“If I still have feelings for you?” he cut in, incredulous. “That isn’t a fair question.”

“How is that not a fair question?” she asked, even though she knew he was right. 

“Because it’s not! You told me you didn’t want to be with me!” He stood up and started pacing, still not looking at her. “You ended it, and I never treated you any differently. Your friendship mattered more to me and so we went back to what we knew, and I was okay with that! I’m still okay with that, but you can’t just ask me if I still want you! You were involved with one of our material witnesses until a month ago, Penelope!”

“I knew you were still upset about that,” she muttered to herself. Unfortunately, Luke didn’t miss it. 

“Of course I’m upset about that! You seemed to really like him and I can’t for the life of me understand why! Why you would risk everything for him when I was—“ he cut himself off sharply, stopping his pacing as if he’d hit a wall. He turned to glare at a spot on her floor near her door. 

Penelope wasn’t faring much better, because it sounded like the reason he was upset wasn’t because she’d gotten involved with a witness. It sounded like the reason was him.

“Luke?” she finally managed. His hand twitched where he held it at his side.

“Forget it, I shouldn’t have even asked. I don’t know why I came here.” He still hadn’t looked at her, and Penelope got the distinct impression that he was about to leave.

“Did you know that I had a crush on you?” she blurted out, unthinking. 

Slowly, Luke turned and stared at her. “What?”

And honestly, Penelope was tired of not talking, of keeping all of her feelings trapped within. 

“I realize that sounds juvenile. It felt juvenile. My best friend had just left, and my whole world felt wrong, and then you showed up. And you felt like such a blatant replacement. Not just of Derek’s job, but of his place . I wanted to hate you. I was determined to hate you. But then you showed up looking like, you know, the way you look.” She waved her hand at him, and tried not to flush. “And then to make things worse you were nice, and funny, and smart, and to my absolute horror, I liked you. I had a stupid crush on you, but I was sure it would just go away. So I was mean, and unwelcoming, and I was constantly keeping you at arms length because of that stupid crush. I did everything in my power to make it go away but you all but ensured it wouldn’t. You let me make fun of you, you gave as good as you got, you took care of me even when I tried to shove you away. So I got used to it. I was so used to having a crush on you that I barely noticed it. I had locked it away behind a ten foot wall and I never let it out, not even when you asked me out, not even when we went on a date.”

“ Why?” Luke asked, his voice pained and almost begging. 

“Why did I have a crush on you?” Penelope asked, still reeling from the fact that she’d actually said that out loud. 

“Why didn’t you let it out when I asked you out? Why wouldn’t you?”

Penelope shrugged, trying not to look at the emotion in his eyes. “I’m not sure I knew how. Or maybe I was scared of letting it out only for things to go poorly, which they did, so I guess that particular fear was warranted, but my therapist thinks that’s a self—“

“I was in love with you!”

Penelope knew that it wasn’t actually possible for his words to be bouncing off the walls, multiplying and filling her apartment, but it sure felt like it. 

Her mouth hung open in utter shock as they stared at each other, the silence nearly suffocating them.

Luke, for his part, looked genuinely horrified at himself. 

“Was?” Penelope heard herself ask, though she hadn’t even meant to open her mouth. 

Luke didn’t even blink, the shock still present on his face as he opened and closed his mouth. 

“Luke, was? ” She asked, desperate.

“I’m sorry,” Luke finally managed, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.” He turned away from her, running a shaky hand through his hair.

“Luke,” Penelope said, feeling almost hysterical. “You said ‘ was ’.”

“I should go,” he whispered, throwing a helpless look her way. 

“Don’t you dare leave this apartment,” Penelope hissed, surprising even herself with the firmness of her voice. “You can’t say that and leave, you know that.”

“What does it matter?” Luke asked weakly. “What does it matter if I said ‘ was’ , I shouldn’t have said it at all.”

“It matters to me,” Penelope replied. 

“No, it doesn’t,” Luke shot back. “You can’t ask me to talk about my feelings when you refuse to talk about your own every time they get brought up. You went on a date without acknowledging them, for christ's sake, Penelope.”

“What if I told you I regret the things I said that night? That I’m trying to talk about my feelings now?” Penelope asked, scared out of her mind, her voice barely above a whisper.

Luke sighed, his whole body seeming to deflate. When he spoke, he sounded resigned. “Then I would tell you that you’re feeling raw after everything with Tyler, that you’re not sure how you’re feeling right now—“

“Do not tell me how I’m feeling, Luke.” Frustration pricked between her shoulder blades. “You’re not in my head, you have no idea.”

“You can’t ask me to throw a grenade into our friendship like this,” he said softly. “It’s a miracle we survived the first time, I can’t…” he trailed off, his jaw working. 

Oh. Oh.

“What were you going to say earlier,” Penelope asked. “You said you ‘couldn’t understand why I would be with Tyler when you’, and then you trailed off. What were you going to say?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Luke murmured.

She shook her head slowly. “I think it does matter.” She stood from her place on the couch, taking a tentative step towards him. “I think you were going to say that you couldn’t understand why I would be with him, when you were right there.”

He shook his head, glaring at the floor. “That’s not—I didn’t—it doesn’t matter.”

Penelope took another step closer to him. “It matters to me, your feelings matter to me.” 

Luke was still shaking his head, and Penelope was suddenly certain of what she was doing. She took another step, now only about two feet from him. “I had written you off as an option, Luke. The date went poorly, and regardless of how I actually felt, I figured that meant you and I wouldn’t work. I didn’t pick him over you, because in my head you weren’t an option.”

Luke swallowed roughly and finally, finally , lifted his gaze to hers. “Penelope,” he whispered, helpless.

She let the corners of her mouth tick up in the most minuscule of smiles as she stepped into his personal space. His breathing stuttered as she brought her hand up to rest on his cheek, but he didn’t say anything. His eyes flicked over her face, searching for something, though Penelope couldn’t say what. 

“Are you an option, Luke?” she whispered.

He swayed into her slightly, but made no move to touch her. His lips parted, but still, said nothing. Penelope waited, her gaze steady and sure. 

Finally, Luke’s tension gave way and he reached out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Penelope, I have always been an option.”

Penelope’s slight smile grew into something bright and real. “Good,” she whispered, and then, in a move that seemed to shock both of them, she kissed him.

It was a soft brush of lips, barely even counting as an actual kiss, but it was all she needed. 

She leaned back to say something else, but she couldn’t remember what she was going to say, her mind a little foggy. As it turns out, it didn’t matter, because Luke made a helpless noise somewhere deep in his chest and tugged her flush against him.

Now this was a kiss. 

His arms snaked around her waist, holding her tightly against him as he pressed his mouth to hers in a bruising, breathless kiss. 

This kiss was still chaste, all things considered, nothing more than a dry press of his lips on hers, but it sent a buzz all the way to her toes regardless. 

The combination of his hands on her back, burning into her, the smell of him surrounding her, and his lips against hers was intoxicating. She hoped against reason that the moment could never end. 

Of course, it had to. They had to breathe, after all. 

When they pulled apart, Luke didn’t let her go far, keeping one arm around her waist and bringing the other up to cradle her cheek as he rested his forehead against hers. “Please don’t freak out,” he whispered.

Penelope swallowed and hummed. “I’m not,” she whispered back. It wasn’t completely true, panic was starting to claw at the edges of her mind, but she ignored it. This was important, and she couldn’t take it back now. “I need some time.”

Luke pulled back and opened his eyes to meet hers. “Okay.”

Penelope cocked her head to the side, slightly confused. “You’re not going to fight me on that?”

Luke let out a breathless laugh. “Penelope, I’ve waited years for you. If you need a little time, then I can wait a little while longer.”

“How long is ‘a little while’?” she asked, the fear that he would leave making itself known.

“How long do you need?”

“I’m not sure,” she whispered apologetically. “I know I want you, I know that I have feelings for you, but I need some time to figure out how to trust myself. The thing with Tyler was a trainwreck, I jumped in head first and eyes closed. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to trust my instincts in relationships again.”

Luke smiled, the first smile she’d seen from him in weeks that wasn’t tinged with hurt or confusion. It was like seeing the sun for the first time. 

“That’s very healthy of you,” he said.

Penelope felt herself flush. “I am trying .”

Luke leaned in and brushed a kiss across her cheek. “I can wait.”

“Really?”

Luke nodded. “As long as this doesn’t mean you’re going to avoid me again.”

Penelope groaned. “I’m sorry I was avoiding you. I had a lot going on in my brain.”

“Clearly.”

She poked him in the arm for that. “I won’t avoid you again, but you realize this means we can’t do, well, this .” She gestured between them.

Luke laughed. “I know. No kissing, no touching, no awkward, over-the-top fancy dinners. Got it.”

And this was what he always did. No one had ever been able to say exactly what she needed to hear like Luke does. “Thank you, Luke.”

“Can I kiss you goodbye?” He asked, the side of his mouth quirking up in a smirk. 

Penelope bit her lip just to watch his eyes flick down to watch the movement. Oh, oh this could be fun . 

“One kiss, but then you have to leave,” she said finally. 

Luke’s smirk dropped into a pout, and that was just unfair. “Immediately?”

“Luke!” she admonished, trying a failing to hold back her laughter. “I’m serious.”

Luke’s face split into a wide grin. “Alright, I’ll behave.” He tucked his finger under her chin and tilted her head up to his. Penelope closed her eyes, leaning in. “I would wait forever,” Luke whispered, and then his lips were on hers and she stopped thinking.

After he’d left her apartment, she had gone to bed early, a mix of scared, excited, and deliriously happy. She felt like a schoolgirl in her first relationship, she was that giddy. She would be embarrassed if it didn’t feel so nice for once.

Saturday should have been her day off, but the team was still working around the clock. The Attorney General had given them very little information but was requesting everything but what they ate for breakfast during this case, so they’d all been digging through their work.

Penelope had almost finished cataloging the entirety of Voits message board, which was depressing at best and traumatic at worst. She was ready to be done with it. 

Luke kept his word on Saturday. He joked with her like normal, he brought her tea from the break room when she lost track of time, and he didn’t bring up dating or feelings or the kiss. 

If he was smiling more than usual, then she ignored it.

He kept his word again on Sunday, and then on Monday, and every day for a month.

It kind of made her want to kiss him even more. Everyone had told her that he went out of his way to give her what she needed, that he was willing to put what he wanted aside for what she needed. It was all completely true, and she was seeing it every day.

She saw it in the way he stared at her from across the bullpen, adoration clear in his eyes, before shaking himself out of it. 

She saw it in the way he clasped his hands together when he clearly wanted to reach out and touch her.

She saw it in the way he held open every door for her, the way he checked in to make sure she’d remembered to have dinner, the way he hadn’t asked her for an update on her feelings, hadn’t even hinted at it. Penelope was starting to get the impression that he wasn’t being dramatic when he told her he would wait forever.

All of this made her want to kiss him senseless. And maybe cry.

“So why don’t you?” Dr. Kline asked. They were still meeting once a week, and had moved away from Penelope’s romantic past and into more personal things, but all she could talk about in this session was Luke.

“I can’t,” Penelope said. She was going to do this right.

Dr. Kline gave her an indulgent smile. “Sure you can. If you want to, why won’t you?”

“I don’t want to dive headfirst with my eyes closed again. This is important, I can’t mess it up.”

“Your eyes aren’t closed with Luke, Penelope. You know how he feels, you know what he wants. Do you know what you want?”

Penelope paused. “I want to be with him. A formal date didn’t go well, but we don’t need formal dates. I want to be together.”

Dr. Kline nodded. “Okay, so eyes wide open there. Why do you think that dating Luke would be diving headfirst?”

“It wouldn’t be?”

“You’ve known Luke for what, seven years?” Dr. Kline asked. “You’ve been friends for that whole time, you’ve had romantic feelings for him in some way or another for that whole time, and he asked you out three years ago. The most recent development was when you admitted your feelings to each other, and nothing since, correct?”

“Right,” Penelope confirmed, feeling lost on what she was getting at.

“Jumping in head first would be if you got married. I assume you have no plans to do that.”

Penelope rolled her eyes. “No, of course not.”

Dr. Kline nodded and leaned forward. “So why not date? People date all the time. It’s perfectly healthy.”

“But,” Penelope started, running back over her words in her mind. “But what about sorting through my feelings? Trusting myself in relationships?”

“Do you have romantic feelings for Tyler Green?” Dr. Kline asked.

“No,” Penelope said. They’d gone through this at length. “I was attracted to him. I could have developed romantic feelings, but he was in a bad place for a relationship and hurt me, and it was unethical of me to start anything in the first place.”

“Right,” Dr. Kline agreed. “Do you have romantic feelings for Luke?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to go out with Luke?”

“Yes.”

“Do you feel comfortable talking to him?”

That one caught her off guard. “Yes?”

“Do you feel comfortable talking to him about your relationship? Do you trust that you would be able to set clear boundaries about what you’re ready for and what you’re not ready for?”

Penelope thought about it. “Yes, I would.”

Dr. Kline clapped her hands together and leaned back in her chair. “So you know how you’re feeling and you trust yourself to make healthy decisions when entering into a romantic relationship with Luke. Any other excuses?”

Penelope gaped at her. Could it really be that easy? “Well what about… what if I hurt him?”

“Are you planning on hurting him?”

“No! Of course not.”

“Do you want to hurt him?”

“No.”

“Then do your best to not hurt him. Tell him you want him to be honest with you if you hurt him, and promise to show him the same courtesy. People get hurt in relationships, it happens, but if you do your best to not hurt him, then everything else is just icing.”

“Just like that?” Penelope asked quietly, a warm hope glowing in her chest.

Dr. Kline smiled softly. “Just like that.”

Penelope all but bolted out of her office at the end of the session. She had left work early to go to her appointment, and it was around dinner time. She shot off a text to Emily as she got in her car, asking if everyone was still at the office, and then she pulled up directions to Luke’s favorite Chinese place.

Emily called her as she was driving. 

“Hey, sorry for calling. I’ve been typing a report all day and my fingers are tired,” Emily explained. “I sent everyone home. I myself have a bubble bath and a bottle of wine calling my name.”

Penelope laughed. “Sounds like a dreamy night. You deserve it.”

“Ugh, I know,” Emily sighed. “Anyway, how was your appointment?”

“It was good, I figured some stuff out.” A thought suddenly occurred to her. When two agents date, it’s a headache . “Hey, Em?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember when you said that it’s a headache when two agents date?”

Emily hummed. “I do. I also recall you not heeding that conversation.”

Penelope worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “Hypothetically, just how big of a headache would it be if I started dating someone in our department?”

“Penelope,” Emily said slowly. “This had better be about Luke, because if it’s about literally anyone else, the answer is no.”

“But the answer isn’t no if it’s Luke?”

Emily let out a loud laugh. “If it’s Luke then I’m throwing a party and inviting HR and using copies of the paperwork as decor.”

Penelope almost missed her exit from laughing. “That’s bold.”

“I swear to God, Garcia. Are you dating Luke?”

“Not yet. I wanted to give you a heads up.”

“I appreciate that. Don’t worry about the headache, you’re not a field agent and the mountain of forms will be a nice break from murder.”

“Are you sure?” Penelope asked, not bothering to bite back her smile.

“Yeah,” Emily said. “I’m sure. Go get your man.”

And Penelope was almost sure that Emily was smiling too.

An hour later she found herself outside Luke’s townhouse, getting her nerves under control as she worked up the confidence to knock. 

You can do this , she told herself. Just knock, he’ll be happy to see you. Still, she felt frozen to the spot. 

Eventually, it was the idea that the takeout might get cold that spurred her into action.

She raised her fist and knocked quickly.

Her mouth went dry at the sight of Luke in the doorway, wearing his slacks and button up from work, but he’d unbuttoned the top few buttons and she could see just a hint of his chest. His curls were ruffled, like he’d been running his hands through them.

“Hey,” he greeted, an easy smile on his face, completely unaware of the rush of emotions flooding her senses. “I didn’t know you were going to stop by.”

Penelope raised the hand holding the takeout bag. “I thought you might be hungry."

Luke let out an honest to god groan as he stepped back to let her in. “You’re my hero. Seriously, I was just thinking about their fried rice.”

“Well, you’re in luck.” She shot him a smile as she set the food on the table. “Where are my babies?” She asked, noticing the distinct lack of her two favorite dogs.

“They’re at the sitter’s. Maggie’s idiot boyfriend dumped her and she asked if she could have them for the night,” Luke explained as he pulled out plates. 

“Is this the boyfriend that left her stranded at a frat party?” Penelope asked.

Maggie was twenty one and was a student at Georgetown. She worked part time at the vet and had offered to start watching the dogs when Luke’s neighbors moved. Her family was in California so Luke kept an eye on her.

“The very same.”

Penelope hummed in acknowledgment. “I told her she should have dumped him ages ago.”

“Yeah, but college kids are predisposed to ignoring logic,” Luke quipped, serving up their food. “Sorry for the lack of puppies, I know that’s the only reason you come over.”

That would have been the perfect time to make a joke, and it was right on the tip of her tongue, but she held back. She wanted him to know she was serious.

“That’s not why I came over tonight,” she settled on, walking over to his couch and settling in with her veggie lo mein. 

Luke followed, sitting down next to her. He raised a brow at her expectantly. “It’s not?”

“I can’t hang out with you?” Penelope asked, a light teasing tone in her voice.

“You can, but you don’t typically show up with no warning. Everything okay? I know you had therapy earlier.”

Penelope hummed, taking a bite of her food to buy herself some time. She wanted to get the words right. “Everything is great, actually. I figured some stuff out today.”

“Do you want to share with the class?” Luke asked around a mouthful of rice. 

Penelope snorted. “You have a habit of talking with your mouth full, you know that?”

“You bring out the worst in me,” he said solemnly. She rolled her eyes, but let her smile shine through. 

“I’ll tell you about it after we eat,” she explained. “Tell me about that bet you lost with Tara this morning.”

So they settled in to eat and chat, and though she hadn’t realized it, this was exactly what she needed. It was the final puzzle piece slotting into place. 

The last time they’d had dinner, just the two of them, everything had gone wrong. The place was too fancy, Luke was too nervous, she was too reserved. It hadn’t been them.

This was comfortable, this was easy, this was nice. This was just Penelope and Luke. 

Luke grabbed their plates and deposited them in the sink once they’d polished off the take out. “Do you want anything to drink?” he called out.

“Water is good,” she replied, fiddling with her fingers in her lap. 

“Here you go,” he said, returning with two glasses. 

Penelope took a sip before setting her glass on the coffee table and turning to face him on the couch. “I had a realization in therapy today.”

Luke smiled indulgently. “So you said. A good one?”

Penelope took a deep breath, and it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “A good one,” she confirmed. “Do you remember when you said that you could wait?”

“Yeah…” Luke said carefully, but his eyes filled with hope. She could always read him, she realized, his eyes always gave him away. 

She thought about JJ’s words from forever ago: He looks at you the way he always has .

Maybe that’s why she never put the pieces together. He’d always looked at her that way.

Penelope bit her lip to subdue the grin that was threatening to take over. “I realized that I don’t want to wait anymore.”

And then the hope wasn’t just in his eyes, it took over his whole face, a slow smile following with it. “Penelope,” he said softly, “are you sure?”

She shifted closer to him, reaching out and intertwining her fingers with his. He looked down at their joined hands, a look of awe crossing over his features. She used her free hand to turn his face back towards her, her hand resting on his cheek. “Luke, are you still an option?”

A blinding grin spread across his cheeks. “Always,” he whispered. 

That was all she needed. “Then can you kiss me?” 

He let out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a groan and surged forward, capturing her lips in a kiss. It was soft and sweet and utterly messy because they were both grinning too much for it to be anything more than teeth and laughter, but she didn’t care. It was perfect. 

Luke let go of her hand to bring his hands up to her face. He cradled her jaw in his palms, his thumb brushing across her cheek as his fingers wound into the hair at the nape of her neck. 

They pulled apart, still smiling like fools. 

“Are you absolutely sure?” he asked, his gaze searching her own. “I want you to be sure.”

Penelope nodded. “So sure. You’ve waited for me, and I really can’t thank you enough for your patience, but I’m good. I like you, Luke Alvez, and I want to be with you. And you have a very stupidly kissable face and I have officially run out of excuses to not be kissing you.”

Luke broke into unrepentant laughter, equal parts joyful and disbelieving. He rested his forehead against hers and she could feel his laughter in her bones. “You can kiss me whenever you want, Penelope.”

“Well, not whenever . We have to be professional at work and sleep would definitely be an issue, and I’m not super into public displays of affection,” she rattled off, mostly to keep hearing that laughter. It was one of her favorite sounds.

“You are,” he started, closing his eyes and smiling, “unbelievable.”

“Those are valid points!” Penelope protested, but she was smiling too.

“Very valid,” Luke murmured, and then his lips were on hers. They seemed to have gotten their grins under control this time around. His lips moved slowly against hers at first, tentative and oh so sweet. Penelope gave into it completely, letting the feeling of him surround her. 

He was still cradling her face like she was something precious, and his kiss was delicate, like he wanted to savor every last moment. 

“We should still talk,” Penelope whispered against his lips.

Luke hummed and pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth before pulling away. “Okay.”

Penelope pulled up her mental list of things to cover before they forgot. “I want to go kind of slow. Not like, glacial, clearly we’ve waited long enough, but I don’t want to rush things.”

“Sounds good,” Luke agreed.

“That means no sex,” Penelope said very quickly. “At least not yet.”

“Sure,” he said simply.

She squinted at him. “That’s not a problem?”

Luke leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. “Not a problem. You said not yet, which implies that we’ll get there eventually.” He shrugged. “I’m in no rush.”

She kind of couldn’t believe that it really was that easy. He wasn’t pushing her for an explanation, he wasn’t protesting, just accepting. It had been one of her issues with Tyler, that she’d let lust take over. 

She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Okay. Also, I meant what I said about being professional at work. Also about public displays of affection.”

“You suck at being professional at work,” Luke teased. “That’s your whole thing. JJ said they had a whole office HR meeting just about you and Morgan.”

Penelope huffed. “That is so not what I—fine. Professional for us, then.”

Luke grinned. “Done. Can you define ‘no public displays of affection’?”

It was the first time he’d raised even a hint of disagreement. “What do you want to be able to do?” 

A faint flush spread up his neck, utterly delighting her. “Nothing crazy, but—I don’t know,” he shrugged and dropped his gaze briefly. “I’d like to be able to hold your hand. I’d like to be able to kiss you on the cheek.”

“You do that anyway,” Penelope pointed out.

His blush deepened. “It was the one thing you always let me get away with,” he said quietly. And damn it, now she was blushing. 

“Oh.”

He smiled ruefully. “Yeah. I don’t know, I’m a tactile person. I’m not saying I want to go crazy, but, casual affection?”

Penelope thought it over and realized that they mostly did that anyway. The holding hands would be new, but he had always been tactile with her, more so than anyone else. 

She had been more oblivious than she thought. 

“That all sounds good to me,” she said finally, trying to stamp out the butterflies in her stomach. 

“Just let me know if it’s ever too much,” Luke added. 

Penelope couldn’t help leaning in and kissing him. He really was sweet. “I promise.”

“Any other stipulations?” he asked.

She nodded. “Date night, once a week. I know that the job means your schedule is unpredictable, and you’re out of town a lot. I’m already a nervous wreck when you guys leave, and I’m pretty sure this is just going to add to that. So once a week when we can make it, I want a date night.”

“You want to date me,” Luke said, almost to himself, like he couldn’t believe it.

“I’m sorry, was that not clear enough?” she teased.

Luke shook his head, smiling. “Just getting used to it. I can do date night.”

“It doesn’t have to be anything special,” she added. “Even if it’s just going home together and grabbing takeout.”

“Is this a date?” Luke asked, completely serious. Penelope rolled her eyes and lightly hit his shoulder. 

“Don’t be daft. Yes, this is a date.”

“Just checking. Is that all?”

Penelope nodded. “Pretty much. Just one more thing.”

“Shoot.”

She took a steadying breath. This was the important one. “I want you to communicate with me. You’re always so good about knowing what I need and giving it to me, but I need to know what you need too. If I hurt you, tell me. If you need me, tell me. If you need space, tell me. If you want something, tell me. I don’t want you setting aside your wants and needs in favor of mine anymore.”

Luke was looking at her like he’d never truly seen her before. “Alright,” he said slowly. “Deal. But you have to do the same.”

Penelope smiled. “Deal. I think that pretty much covers it.”

“So I can go back to kissing you?” Luke asked, looking ridiculously like a dog with a bone. 

“Luke!” she laughed, pushing him back slightly. “You don’t have anything for me?”

He cocked his head, clearly genuinely thinking it over. “Not really. I think we covered it.”

“Nothing?” 

He smiled indulgently. “Penelope, I get to kiss you and be with you. We’ve promised to be open about our communication. I really can’t think of anything right now.”

“You’ll tell me if you do?”

“I promise.” He leaned in and kissed her once more, soft and quick. “Are you staying?”

“The night?” Penelope asked, surprised. “I told you—“

“No, not the night,” Luke said quickly, a hint of laughter laced in his words. “It’s only eight, I meant for a movie or something.”

“Dinner and a movie,” she teased, “are you trying to woo me, Luke?”

“Been trying to woo you for years,” he huffed, and she broke out in delighted laughter. 

“Yeah, I’ll stay for a movie.”

He grinned like she’d just presented him with the sun before adjusting them so that they were facing the TV. She cuddled into his side, reveling in the simple fact that she could . 

He froze when she settled her head on his chest, just below his jaw. “Cuddling is okay?” he asked, even as he moved his arm to draw around her shoulders, tucking her in close. 

She tilted her face up to shoot him a soft smile. “Cuddling is always okay.”

The smile that took over his face was goofy and wonderful. He pressed a feather light kiss to her forehead and nodded. “Noted.”

He reached for the remote and they settled in for the rest of the best first date Penelope had ever been on.

“Good morning,” Luke chirped over the phone the next morning. 

“It is five thirty , Luke Alvez.” She was going to strangle him. Or dump him. Or do both. 

“We have a meeting in two hours and you live in Arlington. Are you telling me you weren’t already awake?”

Penelope huffed and rolled out of bed. “My alarm went off five minutes ago, and I do my makeup in a half-asleep daze.”

Luke chuckled on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry I’ve interrupted your morning routine.”

“You should be,” she shot back petulantly.

“I was calling to ask if you wanted to drive in together. I’ll provide coffee and croissants.” She could hear the careful hope in his voice, and even though her usual reservations were telling her to say no, she found herself smiling.

“Okay. Emily is going to have some paperwork for us anyway.”

“You already talked to Emily?” he asked, surprise evident.

“I called Emily when I was driving to your place.”

“You talked to Emily before you talked to me?”

“I wanted to make sure everything would be fine!” she defended, reaching for her vanity light.

Luke laughed. “And it is?”

Penelope hummed in agreement. “Yep, we just have to sign the paperwork. I’ll see you soon.”

The knock at her door came right as she was taking the last roller out of her hair. She took a moment to fluff everything out in the mirror before darting through her kitchen to open the door.

“Morning,” Luke greeted brightly, holding up two cups of coffee and a bag from her favorite bakery down the street.

“It’s only been half an hour,” she pointed out, stepping aside to let him in. “Tell me you didn’t break traffic laws to get here.”

The back of his neck flushed a deep red as he set down their breakfast on her counter. “I was in the area,” he muttered weakly.

She let out a bright laugh. “Luke Alvez, were you already on your way?”

“Maybe,” he admitted, clearly embarrassed. “I would have just gone straight to the office if you’d said no.”

Penelope smiled, stepping into his space and looping her arms around his neck. “And why would I say no?”

Luke wrapped his arms around her middle and leaned back against the counter. “Boundaries?” he offered with a shy smile.

She rolled her eyes. “Luke?”

“Yes?”

“Kiss me good morning before I go put on lipstick and demote you to cheek kisses only.”

“How could I forget a good morning kiss?” he asked lightly, pulling her flush against his front. “Good morning, Penelope."

He kissed her laughter out of her mouth. The kiss was deep and sweet and it warmed her down to her toes. She let him get away with a few breathless moments before breaking away. 

“I really do have to get ready,” she apologized, stepping out of his grasp and grabbing the bag with the pastries. 

They chatted over their croissants and coffee for the next twenty minutes before she disappeared back to her bedroom to finish her makeup and style her hair.

She came back to the kitchen at exactly six forty-five. “Ready to go?” she asked. 

He grabbed her hand as they walked down to his car and Penelope felt her heart flutter against her chest. She really could get used to this. 

“You two, my office,” Emily called out as they walked into the bullpen. 

“Uh oh,” Luke whispered conspiratorially.

Penelope shoved his shoulder. “Oh hush. We’ll be fine.”

Emily had two piles of paper set out on her desk when they walked in. “HR has no problem as long as you fill out the paperwork.”

“So no transfers?” Penelope asked, barely hiding her relief.

Emily smiled. “No transfers. Just a bunch of pain in the ass paperwork.”

“Thanks, boss,” Luke said, reaching for one of the packets and a pen. “Do you want these back or should we file them with HR ourselves?”

“Oh, no no no,” Emily said, flashing them a mischievous smile. “You’re gonna sign them here and we’re going to chat.”

Penelope shot Luke a concerned glance. “Chat?” she asked as they sat down.

Emily hummed. “Yep. First, you guys have to be professional around the office.”

“We already talked about that,” Penelope said, scanning the top page of the paperwork. “We’ll behave.”

“We’ll see,” Emily shot back, fond. “That’s all I’ve got as your boss, but as your friend, I want details.”

“Can we protest that on the grounds that you're our boss?” Luke asked innocently. Penelope hid her smile in her packet.

Emily rolled her eyes at him. “No. I just want to know how embarrassing you were. For future teasing purposes.”

Penelope sighed. “He was less embarrassing than I’d hoped. He’s been very patient and very sweet.”

She tried not to react to the painfully fond look on Luke’s face as Emily groaned. “Of course he was, the embarrassing part was his years of obvious pining.”

“Hey!” 

Emily waved him off. “You’re really going to give me nothing?”

“We had dinner and a movie and we’re dating,” Penelope said.

“Since when do you not overshare?” Emily asked, like this was a personal affront.

“Ask me after I’ve had three margaritas next time we do girls night,” Penelope offered. 

Emily sighed. “Fine, but I’m going to hold you to that.”

Luke laughed. “Remind me to skip work the day after that.”

“Scared?” Emily shot back.

“Hey, a guy’s got to save face.”

Emily sighed. “Alright, you guys are free to go. Get the paperwork back to me by end-of-day.”

“You got it, boss,” Penelope saluted, grabbing Luke’s hand and all but dragging him to the door.

“Oh, by the way,” Emily said when they were halfway out the door, “I really am happy for you guys.”

The rest of the day was more of the same. JJ nearly knocked the door to Penelope’s office off its hinges as she barged in not a full hour later. 

“You didn’t call me!” JJ accused.

“Good morning, Penelope. How are you, Penelope—“

“I heard about it from Emily!”

Penelope sighed and turned to face her. “I’m sorry! I was going to tell you when I saw you today.”

“Luke told Tara last night. How am I the last to know?”

That stopped Penelope short. “Luke told Tara last night?”

JJ collapsed into the extra chair. “Yeah, according to her it was very sappy and adorable.”

He had called Tara after she left his place. That was adorable. It was like the universe was taking every possible opportunity to remind her that he’d been waiting for her to catch up. 

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you,” Penelope said. 

JJ waved her off. “I’m not actually upset. So, how are you feeling?”

“Honestly?” Penelope said, a dopey grin spreading across her face. “I feel happy. He’s been very sweet and understanding, but as it turns out, I’m not that patient.”

JJ let out a laugh. “Yeah, I think we all know that. What did Morgan have to say about it?”

Oh damn it . “He, um…”

“ You told me before you told Derek?” JJ hissed. 

“I forgot!” Penelope protested. 

Like the universe was playing a cruel joke on her, her phone started to ring. 

Penelope flashed her caller ID at JJ, who promptly burst into hysterical laughter. 

Penelope sighed and answered the call. “Hello, my love.”

“Penelope,” Morgan said, painfully slow. “Explain to me why I just received a text from Emily saying that you’re dating someone, and that that someone is Luke .”

Penelope bit her lip and glared at JJ, who was watching her with unrestrained glee. “Probably because I am.”

“I am going to fly to D.C. right now, baby girl,” Morgan threatened, even though they both knew it wasn’t much of a threat. She did miss him. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me! I told you to date him years ago.”

“Yeah, everyone seems to have been of that opinion,” Penelope laughed. 

“Next time I’m in town, I’m giving him the shovel talk.”

“That’s not a conversation you can have over the phone?” she asked innocently.

“I’m more threatening in person, sweetheart.” 

“Very true, mi amore, but I think in this situation, if anyone is going to get hurt, it probably won’t be me,” Penelope admitted softly. 

“Well, someone else can give you a shovel talk,” Derek huffed. “That’s not my department.”

Penelope released a soft laugh. “And I love you for it. Can you face time later? I really do miss you.”

“Sure thing, go save the world, baby girl.”

JJ was grinning as Penelope hung up the call. “Oh, don’t you start.”

“That was disgustingly cute.”

“I mean it, JJ.”

“You’re happy .”

“Get out of my lair, I have work to do.”

JJ held up her hands in defeat. “Alright, alright, I’m going.”

“Thank you.”

“Luke and Penelope sitting in a tree—“

“ JJ! ” 

JJ’s laughter echoed down the hall as Penelope tried to get her heated red cheeks under control. 

Luke poked his head into her office around six. “Hey, are you done for the day?”

Penelope nodded, shutting down her system. “I’m good. Do you want to head out?”

“Let’s get out of here,” Luke said, holding out his arm for her. 

“Such a gentleman,” she teased, looping her arm in his. 

“All part of my ten step plan to romance you,” he shot back, holding open the door for her. 

Penelope raised a brow. “Ten steps, huh?”

“It’s working so far, right?”

“You’re a dork,” she said as they stepped into the elevator.

He grinned. “ Your dork.”

She supposed he was. 

A month later, Penelope walked into her apartment after an exceptionally long day. The team had caught the unsub in Boston cleanly and the plane had landed half an hour ago. She had been right about her anxiety when the team was gone, it had heightened since she and Luke had gotten together, but he had done everything he could to help. He called her every night, chatted with her about the reruns playing on TV in his hotel room, talking about the dog he’d seen on the street, any mundane thing he could think of to take her mind off of it. 

He had called her after making the arrest, just to give her the update.

He really was wonderful.

Penelope kicked off her heels and set her kettle on the oven, content to relax with a cup of tea and a book she’d been meaning to get to. Maybe some takeout.

She was flipping to the second chapter when there was a knock at her door.

Confused, she set her book aside and pulled up her security camera. An image of a smiling Luke greeted her and she felt her own smile spread.

She rushed to the door and swung it open. “What are you doing here? You must be exhausted.”

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek before holding up a bag of takeout. “I was gone for nine days. I missed date night.”

“This is date night?” she asked, achingly soft.

“A surprise one, if you’re up for it,” Luke confirmed, setting down the bag and pulling her into his arms.

She smirked, running her hands through his hair and leaning up to brush her nose against his. “Chinese takeout and a movie?”

Luke hummed and she could feel his smile brush against her own. “It’s worked pretty well for us so far.”

She laughed. “I suppose it has.” She closed the distance between them to give him the kiss she’d been wanting to give him for nine days and four hours.

He smiled against her mouth briefly before kissing her back, and Penelope couldn’t believe she almost never let herself have this.

She pulled away only for a moment, their breath still mingling. “Thanks for coming home,” she whispered.

“I’ll always come home to you,” he whispered right back, and then his lips were back on hers and she was wonderfully, maddeningly, perfectly happy.