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Your eyes shot open when you heard something moving outside your window, but you didn’t move. After knowing about all the supernatural stuff happening around town, any sound you heard and any shadow you saw in the dark stopped being just a harmless animal looking for food, but instead a possible dangerous creature looking for blood.
You stayed still under the covers, too panicked to even breathe, scared that whatever that was out there would hear you and made its way into your room looking for a victim. For all you knew it could be Derek, still convinced with the idea that you could be a useful asset to his pack if you just accepted the bite. Or even worse; it could be Jackson in his kanima form, sent by his master to kill you alongside the rest of your friends.
But when you heard the knocking on your window, terribly human for an inhuman creature, you sat on your bed and let go of the grip you had on your covers.
“Isaac?”
The boy was sitting on the edge of your window, waiting in the chill of the night for you to let him in.
You quickly got up and made your way towards him, opening the window and trying not to make a sound so as to not wake up your parents. Isaac didn’t hesitate when you moved aside, stepping into your room and letting you close the window behind him.
“Hey,” he said, standing awkwardly in the middle of your room.
“Hi,” you returned quickly, taking a few steps in his direction. “Did something happen to you? Are you okay?” you asked then, worriedly. Isaac nodded.
“Yes, I’m fine. Why?”
“Well, don’t get me wrong but… what are you doing here?”
He quickly catched up on your question, realising what you were trying to say. Raising his eyebrows and taking a nervous hand to the back of his neck, he proceeded to answer. Or try to at least.
“Oh. I, uh…” he stuttered, not finding the words he had planned to say, almost as if he had forgotten them.
Anxious to know what all of this was about, you couldn’t stop your tongue from interrupting his nervous mumbling. After all, chatting with Isaac in your bedroom in the middle of the night was not something you would normally expect. You genuinely had no idea what he was doing here, not even a clue.
“Is it Jackson? Did he kill someone else?”
“No, no. Everyone’s fine,” he reassured you. “Jackson didn’t do anything. I just…”
He ran out of words again. He had thought about this conversation since he had woken up that same day, rehearsing countless times in the deep of his mind what he was going to say to you. But now that he was here, standing in front of you in the dark of your room, looking at your figure in a pair of shorts that left almost nothing to the imagination, impatiently waiting for him to talk, he found himself speechless.
“Erica and Boyd are leaving.”
You frowned.
“Leaving? Leaving where?”
“I don't know. They…” he sighed tiredly. With every passing second, talking about this hurt him even more. He was not sure if it was because of the topic itself or because it was you he was telling this to. Either way, he could feel the lump forming in his throat. Not even talking with Scott helped calming him down.
“They decided to leave town. Leave Derek and the pack and just... everything.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Is that why you’re here?” you asked, still not getting a grasp of the real reason he appeared in your room at midnight.
Isaac hesitated. He opened his mouth a couple of times but no sound came out. His right hand wouldn’t stop moving either, going to his head every two seconds to run his fingers through his curls or just to massage his nape. He looked like the old Isaac, the Isaac before the bite. The Isaac who could barely look a girl in the eyes before he got too nervous and ran away. The Isaac who preferred to and could easily go unnoticed. The Isaac who lacked any confidence and believed every word his father told him.
The Isaac who believed that he was a waste of oxygen.
“Uh... sort of.”
“Sort of?”
“Well, I…”
He couldn’t get himself to say it. When talking about this with Scott the words flowed easily, desperate for a wise piece of advice. Trying to communicate the same message to you… That seemed like a whole different thing.
Luckily, he didn’t need to say anything. The look on his face was enough for you to understand what que wanted to say. For a second, he swore he heard your heart skip a beat.
“You are leaving with them.”
Even if you tried not to, you sounded defeated. No matter how much you tried to compose yourself and sound indifferent, it hurt. For some strong reason that you didn’t want to acknowledge, it hurt. And when Isaac didn’t deny your words, your heart sank, but you did your best not to show it.
“Yeah…”
His gaze couldn’t stay still, trying to avoid the way your shining eyes kept searching in the dark for his blue ones. It didn’t matter how strong and confident the bite had made him; right now he felt like looking you in the eyes would be enough to kill him. He feared that if he looked at you he would change his mind and stay. But wasn’t that what he was doing here? Wasn’t he hoping that by telling you his plans you would beg him to stay, giving him an excuse not to leave you behind? Wasn’t that the hidden desire behind his visit?
“And… why are you telling me this?”
Then of course, why would you care?
“What?”
“I mean, is that all you came to say? Or is there something else?”
“No, I…”
How could he say it without sounding lame? You clearly couldn’t care less if he was leaving or not. So was there still a point in continuing speaking? Maybe he should never have come.
“I came here to say goodbye.”
“Oh…”
Was that it? Was that all you were going to say? Because that was not the only thing you wanted to say, but it was the only thing you could say. How could you possibly answer that anyway? It was completely unexpected. You had never talked to Isaac before he got the bite. You had no reason to. All you knew about him was his name and that he worked at the graveyard, but that was about it. So why, out of all the people in Beacon Hills, would he take the time to say goodbye to you? It made no sense, or that’s what you preferred to think.
“Why?”
He frowned.
“Why what?”
“Why did you come to say goodbye?” you asked, then stopped, as if preparing for the next words to leave thorns down your tongue. “It’s not like we are… friends or anything.”
If looking you in the eyes hurt, then hearing you say that felt like a knife to the heart.
“What?”
He arched his eyebrow in that particular way that you always found so captivating, his tone suddenly more deep than a few minutes ago. You had offended him. That much you could tell.
“I mean, you still were a part of Derek’s pack,” you stated, and he was already not liking where this conversation was going. “You fought against Scott, my friend. And then tried to kill Lydia! All just because Derek told you to.”
He snorted, crossing his arms over his chest and adopting a firmer stance.
“Lydia’s not even your friend. She’s always been mean to you.”
“That... That doesn’t matter!” you cried out, still trying to keep a low volume. Your parents were sleeping in the room next to yours and if they found out that a boy was currently in your room… You preferred not to think about that right now. “She didn’t kill anyone and none of you even cared to make sure of it before you went on with your stupid plan.”
Clearly exasperated, Isaac sighed, running a hand through his curls once again and finally walking around your room instead of staying stuck in the same spot.
“Y/N, we told you. She didn’t pass the test—”
“Oh, fuck that test, ok?” you interrupted him, speaking just as loud as you could without disturbing anyone. “Actually, fuck all of this. Fuck you. Tell me, what are you really doing here?”
The sudden anger in your voice caught him off guard. He got it, you were mad at him for fighting alongside Derek when all you needed to do was work together and not against each other. But was that why you were angry at him right now? Was it because you didn’t trust him?
“What are you talking about? I already told you I—”
“Come on. Do you really think I’m that stupid?” You took several steps towards him, yet you still weren’t as close as he wanted you to be. “You, coming here to say goodbye to me ? Just be honest with me for once and tell me what Derek wants now, ok?”
Was that it? Did you really think that he was in fact not leaving and all of that story was just to get an embarrassing reaction out of you? Did you really think so low of him?
“I’m telling you, Y/N. I’m leaving with Erica and Boyd tomorrow during the game.”
“Yeah, sure.”
The disbelief was clear in his eyes, almost as if he felt betrayed because you weren’t trusting him at all. But then again, how could he blame you? Even after the bite, he still was a pain in the ass to the people around him.
“What’s even wrong with you?”
Wrong question.
“What’s wrong with me?” you whispered, but Isaac could tell by the look in your eyes that all you wanted to do was scream. “I don’t believe you, that’s what’s wrong.”
“Why?” His voice quivered, but if you noticed, you decided not to point it out. “Why can’t you just trust me? On this, at least.”
“Are you seriously asking me that right now? Aren’t there enough reasons? You are with Derek, I’m with Scott—”
“Stop talking about them. They have nothing to do with this,” he interrupted. Given the situation and how the tears started to fill his eyes, he managed to keep a neutral tone. He even was surprised that with the little control he had over it and with the pace at which his heart was beating, the wolf hadn’t come out yet. Maybe it was the fear of hurting you that was keeping him hidden.
“Ok. Do you want me to give you another reason then?” You straightened your shoulders and raised your chin slightly, as if you were challenging him. And you were. “We are not even friends, Isaac. Yet you come here to say goodbye? Sounds suspicious to me.”
Something inside him broke. He could feel it, how the pain took over his heart and then shattered it into pieces without a care.
“Is that what you think? That we’re not friends?” His voice lost the strength it had moments ago. Once again, it didn’t sound like the werewolf Isaac, but more like the Isaac you wished you had gotten to know. You knew your statement had bothered him. “That we’re not close at all?”
You weren’t so sure now. Yes, you certainly knew you were not that close with Isaac. You might have worked alongside him once, but that didn’t mean you were suddenly on comfortable speaking terms. You and Isaac were not close. But damn, did it hurt to admit it…
“Yes. That’s what I think. So excuse me if it’s difficult for me to trust you out of nowhere.”
Isaac nodded slowly, his arms still tightly crossed over his chest as he thought about something. Even if it was dark inside and even if you were not a supernatural creature with super sight, you could still notice the way his jaw clenched and unclenched a couple of times before his eyes were staring at you with a force that you had never seen in him before. If you had to be honest, this side of Isaac was intimidating.
“Then what about the rave?”
Oh, no…
Your shoulders sank and your eyes started moving around the room. You had hoped that he wouldn’t talk about that night. It was that one topic you were strenuously trying to avoid out of embarrassment. Stiles had already given you a lecture about it, on how there was no time to mess around with the enemy, that this was not some Romeo and Juliet play. You had to remind him that the enemy was not Derek’s pack, but the kanima and his master, yet Stiles wouldn’t budge. Scott had to step in.
“W-what… what about it?” You tried not to, but you stuttered anyway and Isaac realised. His characteristic smirk drew itself on his lips and that was proof enough that there was no way you were winning this ‘argument’. The nerves were taking over you.
“You kissed me. Or did you forget already?” He leaned his head slightly. The cocky look on his face getting more and more noticeable with every word while yours got more and more uncomfortable. “Was that kiss nothing to you?”
The pace at which your heart was beating was not normal. The way you were breathing heavily was not normal. Of course, being a werewolf with heightened senses, Isaac had already realised your state, right? Then why was he not speaking on it? Isaac was a sucker for exposing people. Why was he not exposing the way he made you feel?
“We both know that kiss didn’t mean anything.”
Liar.
He took a step forward.
“Really? So you didn’t feel anything? Nothing at all?”
His smirk. That damn smirk.
Your heart skipped.
“No.”
He kept walking forward until he was standing so close to you, you had to raise your head to look at him properly. He was too tall.
“What about when I did this?”
Before you could understand or even realise what he was about to do, and arm snuck around your waist. A big, warm hand pressed itself against the small of your back, pushing you to Isaac’s chest. There was no space between the two of you anymore. You were so close you could feel how his chest moved alongside his breathing. He even had to duck his head to look you in the eyes with that intensity that drove you insane.
If he couldn’t hear your heart beating before, he sure could feel it against his chest now.
“You still felt nothing?”
“No. Nothing.”
Liar.
“And what if I kissed you right now?” Please do. “Would you still feel nothing?”
You forced yourself to nod. Isaac kept smirking.
“You do remember I’m a werewolf with super senses right?”
This wasn’t good. Of course he had picked on all the different sensations that he produced on you. How your heart jumped and your breath hitched everytime he got close to you or smirked like that. He made you miserable in so many ways and he probably was aware of it. Oh, you were so stupid.
“I—”
“You are lying.”
“No, that’s not—”
“Your heart keeps skipping.”
He knew. Of course he did.
“Are you going to tell me the truth now?”
The truth…
If you had to be honest, you were not sure if you even knew what the truth was. You had definitely felt something at the rave, and you even felt something before the rave, but what? What were you feeling everytime Isaac looked at you, challenged you, mocked you… that you didn’t know. Or maybe you did, but after all the times Stiles called you out on it you just didn’t want to admit it. Admitting whatever it was that you were feeling towards Isaac was admitting a weakness, and you were not about to show any weaknesses to a member of Derek’s pack. Your weaknesses were your pack’s weaknesses too. You couldn’t do that to Scott.
“You want the truth?” Your voice didn’t waver. The smirk on Isaac’s face started to disappear. “The truth is I didn’t feel anything. I would never feel anything. That kiss didn’t mean anything. And we certainly don’t mean anything.”
Silence. None of you dared to say anything as your words sank into Isaac’s mind. He slowly let go of you, taking a few steps back as he heard the steady beating of your heart.
“Is that what you really think?”
He needed confirmation. Your heart was not enough proof. He needed to hear it from you. He needed to know that if he left tomorrow, you wouldn’t miss him.
“Yes.”
Your posture, your voice, your eyes, your beating heart. All of you remained firm, steady. No hesitation, no wavering.
“Alright,” he whispered, passing next to you to get to the window. Before opening it, he turned around but didn’t look you in the eye. “I’ll leave you alone then. Sorry I woke you up.”
And with that he was out.