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Shepard opened her eyes and immediately closed them. The Thessian sun was far too bright for how much she drank last night, not to mention that her head felt like twenty Krogan had head-butted her in quick succession. For all she knew, they might still be.
Her right arm was immovable and completely numb. The rest of her body was trapped under the weight of who she hoped was Liara, it was too light to be a Krogan.
A low grumble came from the head on her chest.
“By the Goddess, will you turn off that beeping?”
She hadn’t even registered the beeping of her omni-tool, the blood pounding in her head was far too loud. She was sure her younger self would be dying of laughter at her current state.
Her eyes opened just a crack, enough to see where the beeping was coming from. Eyes opened a bit more and she saw a message was causing the offending sound.
Mute.
She’d read it later, nothing was so important that it couldn’t wait another hour or two. Maybe another ten. Definitely could wait.
A mumbled thank you from the head.
Both her and Liara deserved this late morning start. The house was peaceful and quiet, a welcome blessing compared to other mornings filled with Glyph and calls and liveliness. The two of them would enjoy the quiet, they deserved it.
The peaceful house.
The quiet house.
The quiet house.
Their house was never quiet. And if it was, that was never a good thing.
“Shit!”
Liara lifted her head, “Shh, too loud.”
“Liara, the house is quiet.”
“I know, let’s enjoy it. Please. I don’t want to open my eyes.”
“No, Liara, the house is quiet.”
She’d let that sink in for her wife. Within moments, she felt the weight move off of her. Her eyes open all the way, she watched as Liara pressed a hand to her forehead.
“Oh Goddess,” her voice still gravelly from the previous night, “the kids.”
Whoever told them that parenting was a rewarding experience was a damn liar. And Shepard would tell them that to their face, if she could remember who it was.
No one prepared them for the absolute panic that came from a house not filled with sound. Even Shepard’s nerves started to fray at not enough noise.
The pair began to move throughout the house, as quickly–yet gingerly– as they could, starting first at their children’s bedrooms.
No kids to be found. Which wasn’t unusual, the Shepard-T’Soni children were early risers. Much to their parents chagrin.
What was unusual was that they were silent, usually they would be asking Glyph questions or playing with the toys that the Normandy crew gave them.
Speaking of the drone–
“Where’s Glyph?”
He was usually the first thing Liara spoke to in the mornings, after Shepard. But by this time of day, he should be attempting to answer the questions the kids asked.
Liara called out for him. No response, so the pair continued their search of the house. This wouldn’t be the first time their children had roped Glyph into something.
And it wasn’t that they were worried their kids had been kidnapped, not at all. Being the Shadow Broker and Commander Shepard certainly had perks, like the best security system money could buy. It also meant a great deal of enemies, but that was covered by the well paid guards stationed around where the Shepard-T’Sonis were.
Shepard and Liara continued their search, carefully listening for any sounds. Shepard had thought she heard a door close, until Liara apologised. She had stepped on a toy and stumbled.
Eventually they made their way into the kitchen, with still no sign of Glyph or the children. Taking a momentary break for painkillers and water was needed.
Liara sighed gratefully as Shepard pressed some pills and a glass of water in her hand.
“Thank you so much,” she smiled.
Shepard kissed her cheek, “Anything for you.”
They stood and listened for any sounds, still nothing. Thankfully, the pounding in Shepard’s head began to subside so she could focus better.
“Why was your omni-tool beeping earlier?” Liara asked.
She had forgotten about the message. Pulling it up, she read it aloud.
Hey, Shep, had fun with the kids, taught them a new trick. Hope you enjoyed your night ;)
The two women looked at each other. Everyone else from the crew had been busy, leaving only Kasumi available to babysit the little Shepard-Tsonis. There was no way to know what this ‘trick’ she had taught them was.
Shepard let a deep sigh out, of course she had.
“I’m gonna call her. Maybe she’ll know how to find the kids since she’s apparently the one that caused this.”
As Shepard waited for the call to connect, Liara leaned over the counter.
“I would’ve almost preferred Jack,” she said, “At least then the girls would just be screaming all the new words they’d learned.”
Shepard nodded in agreement, tiny Asari yelling swear words would be preferred over the inevitable sneak attack they’d have to prepare for.
Finally, Kasumi answered.
“Hey Shep! You and Liara have a fun night?”
Shepard rolled her eyes, “We sure did, but what did you teach the girls?”
Kasumi laughed, “Just a little cloaking technique, nothing serious.”
Liara sighed, “Well, now we can’t find them. They seem to have coerced Glyph into whatever it is too.”
“Have you looked everywhere?”
They hadn’t looked everywhere in the house yet, but they had looked everywhere the girls would go first.
”Looked in all their favorite places so far. Not many places to hide.”
“Oh, there are plenty of places to hide, just hope they didn’t find what I found.”
Shepard could hear the smirk on Kasumi’s face. She also didn’t want to know what she found, it would definitely be embarrassing for her or Liara, or maybe both of them.
“Listen, Shep, I gotta go. Good luck finding the girls!”
With that, Kasumi hung up leaving the parents alone again.
Time to resume the search. With more luck this time, hopefully. They were almost back to the girls’ rooms when they finally heard Glyph. He appeared to be pleading, as much as a VI drone could, with their children.
“Children, I believe your parents are looking for you. Perhaps you should give this up.”
Shepard motioned for Liara to stay quiet with a finger on her lips. They crept closer to where Glyph was still trying to get the girls to stop hiding.
“Why didn’t we look in the library?” Shepard whispered.
“I did. Earlier. Glyph wasn’t in there, neither were the girls.”
Shepard took a deep breath.
“They’ve been running away from us this entire time.”
It was then that they heard the tiniest voice, “ Glyph, where are mom and dad?”
“I believe they are in this hallway. Still looking for you.”
“Shit.”
“Thanks, Jack.”
Liara looked smug, “I told you she was a bad influence.”
Shepard looked over, “Kasumi’s a worse one right now.”
A nod in agreement.
“Didn’t you say they already looked in here?”
Hopefully Glyph wouldn’t give them up now. Or at least, if he did they could catch the girls as they tried to escape.
“I saw Doctor T’Soni look in here earlier. It is my understanding that this area should be safe from further inspection.”
They heard two small sighs of relief. That wouldn’t last long. Shepard and Liara shared a look. It was their turn to mess with the kids.
Moving to the door, Shepard stood still as the door opened and walked inside. She made a show of looking around, pretending not to notice the light that Glyph put off.
“Well, Liara, it looks like they aren’t in here. Guess we’ll have to go to the park and get sweets with Uncle Grunt without them.”
She heard the small gasps as Liara walked in the room. The girls loved their Uncle Grunt, especially when they got to go to the park with him. Thankfully, Shepard was being truthful and Uncle Grunt would be arriving later in the day.
”It certainly looks that way,” Liara smiled, “He’ll be sad he won’t get to see his favorite girls.”
Shepard made a move to leave, “Let’s go get ready, he’ll be waiting for us at the park if we’re late.”
She pressed a kiss to Liara’s lips as they walked out of the room together, stopping just out of sight of the door. Not a moment later, their two girls burst out of the room.
“Mom, Dad! Don’t leave us! We wanna see Uncle Grunt!”
The parents stepped out from their hiding place.
“Did Aunt Kasumi teach you guys something new?” Shepard laughed at her daughters’ looks of surprise.
They shared a matching grin across their faces.
“She did! We practiced last night!” The older one said.
“Did we win?” The younger one asked.
Liara’s face scrunched in confusion, “Win what?”
“Hide and seek! Aunt Kasumi taught us last night!”
Shepard shook her head, of course the new trick came with a new game to play.
“You’re supposed to tell us we’re playing with you, that way we know who wins.”
The little girls’ faces fell, just realising they had forgotten to tell their parents they were playing.
Liara took pity on them and smiled, “But we’ll say you won this time.”
“Now go get ready to go the park, you know Uncle Grunt doesn’t like to wait!”
The girls laughed and ran off to their rooms, chattering excitedly. The parents followed along to make sure they’d be ready soon, making a silent agreement along the way:
Kasumi was never babysitting again.