Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Papyrus stood proudly, admiring his newly built puzzle. It was gorgeous, dangerous, and would be able to stump any human! Truly, his skills were amazing. Papyrus had to tell Sans immediately! His brother would be so impressed and inspired, maybe even so much so that he would actually get his work done! 

Well, he probably wouldn’t change that much…

Still, he had to tell his brother. Papyrus ran home, a wide grin plastered on his face. It felt great to be finished with another masterpiece! Papyrus slammed open the front door, shaking with excitement. 

“BROTHER! GUESS WHAT!” Papyrus said eagerly to Sans, who was slumped over on the couch.

“what?” Sans asked, lazily blinking at his brother. He had a bottle of ketchup in his hands, and took a swig of the bottle. Papyrus made a face of disgust, but otherwise chose to ignore this.

“NO, SANS, YOU HAVE TO GUESS WHAT!” Papyrus scowled, tapping his foot impatiently.

“isn’t that what i just did?” Sans winked, a wide smile on his face. Papyrus groaned, clenching his fists. His brother was so insufferable! Of course he loved Sans, but he also incredibly disliked him!

“FINE! YOU WIN! BROTHER… MY NEW PUZZLE IS FINISHED! IT IS AMAZING! EVEN MORE AMAZING THAN MY LAST ONES! IT WILL SURELY STOP A HUMAN IN ITS TRACKS!” Papyrus announced, crossing his arms with pride. 

“cool, bro. you’ll have to show me later.” Sans said, leaning back into the couch. Papyrus sighed, “WHY CAN’T I SHOW YOU NOW?” 

“‘m too tired. can’t move. you’ll have to carry me.” Sans mumbled. 

“UGH! YOU LAZYBONES!” Papyrus frowned. He stomped up to his room, feeling slightly disappointed. If only his brother wasn’t so lazy… 

Maybe once the townsfolk saw his new puzzle, they would want to be friends with him! Then he could show them all his puzzles and never be lonely again! It was a nice thought. Hopefully they liked it… His brother didn’t seem as excited about it…

But, surely, Undyne would love his new work! Maybe he should give her a call? Papyrus pulled out his phone and typed in her number. The phone rang for quite a bit, and Papyrus was concerned that she might not pick up. 

Finally, at the last ring, she answered the phone. There was the sound of yelling and screaming, and he swore he could hear the hiss of a fire.

“UM… UNDYNE?” Papyrus said, worry growing as the sounds became more chaotic and explosive. 

“ Crap. Uh, hey, Papyrus,” Undyne said as a loud boom erupted, “You kinda caught me at a bad time. The temmies are causing trouble again.” 

“AGAIN?” Papyrus exclaimed, disbelieving. 

“Yeah, again. I’ll call you back later, I just– Shit!” Undyne cried, a beep interrupting her voice as the phone hung up. Papyrus huffed, upset. He put his phone back into his pocket and lay on his bed. 

Obviously, nobody cared about his wonderful creation… He should just try again tomorrow… Or never…

…

…Wait! No! He had to show someone his puzzle! Be it a random citizen, or even one of Grillby’s gross customers, he couldn’t just not share this!

Papyrus sat up, sprinted down the stairs, and out of the house. He ran as fast as he could towards Grillby’s, determined to find someone who was equally as excited about puzzles as he was. 

There had to be at least one person who wanted to see!

Suddenly, his foot caught on something, and he cursed as he fell to the ground. Someone in the distance yelled, for whatever reason. Papyrus rubbed his knee, and shakily stood up to see what he had tripped on. It was… a small, golden flower, which seemed to… have a face? Papyrus’s eyes widened as he realized the flower must have been the one yelling. 

“OH! I’M SORRY! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? I’VE NEVER SEEN A FLOWER MONSTER BEFORE… I’M SORRY I TRIPPED ON YOU.” Papyrus apologized, kneeling down to take a closer look at this new character.

The flower shook the snow from its petals, then beamed at him, “Oh, no! It’s fine! My name’s Flowey!

“WOW! FLOWEY THE FLOWER? THAT’S A FUNNY NAME… UM… WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY PUZZLES?” Papyrus asked hesitantly.

What if he didn’t want to? What if he was still mad at Papyrus for tripping on him?

Flowey put a leaf to his head, scratching it. “Hmm…” the flower hummed, “I dunno…”

“OH. IT’S OKAY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO! I HAVE LOTS OF OTHER FRIENDS TO SHOW MY PUZZLES TO!” Papyrus put his hands on his hips, trying to make a cool pose. If Flowey was impressed enough, maybe he’d change his mind…

“Oh, of course I want to see, friend! Lead the way, Papyrus!” Flowey chirped cheerfully. Papyrus didn’t remember telling Flowey his name, which was weird, but exciting! His popularity must have boomed if Flowey already knew his name! News about Papyrus must’ve been getting around town. This was great!

Papyrus and Flowey walked over to his puzzle, which was only a few minutes away. It was marvelous, with tiles and spikes galore! 

“Golly! You put a lot of work into this, didn’t you?” Flowey gasped at the sight of his brand new art piece. “OF COURSE! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, PUT MAXIMUM EFFORT IN EVERYTHING I DO!” Papyrus replied boldly. 

“You must have a load of friends…” Flowey trailed off, immediately looking very contemplative and sad. 

“WHAT’S WRONG, FLOWEY?” Papyrus asked with uncertainty. Had he done something to make the flower upset?

“Well… It’s just… nevermind. You probably wouldn’t care, anyways…” Flowey pouted.

“I PROMISE I WILL! PLEASE TELL ME!” Papyrus pleaded, curious as to what Flowey had to say. 

“Alright… I wish I could be friends with someone as cool as you. ” the flower sighed, “I’m just so lonely all the time, but you already have loads of friends… you obviously would never want to be friends with someone like me…”

“WHAT? THAT’S NOT TRUE! OF COURSE I’D WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU! ANYONE WHO ENJOYS MY PUZZLES IS AN AUTOMATIC FRIEND!” Papyrus promised, giving Flowey a reassuring smile. 

Flowey smiled back at him, “Gosh, really? Thanks, Papyrus!” 

“NO, THANK YOU, MY FLOWERY FRIEND! YOU MUST BE A PUZZLE EXPERT TO ENJOY MY CLEVER CRAFTSMANSHIP!” 

Flowey giggled, “We’re going to have so much fun together, best friend!”

Chapter Text

“I’ll see you soon.” 

And Flowey left Papyrus in the middle of the forest, clinging to his broken arm as he convulsed with sobs. His arm was covered in a spider web of cracks, each line so thin and complex and sharp with pain. Papyrus was sure his arm was about to crumble apart with the way the pain shot up his arm, a neverending itch that scorched like a blazing fire. 

Papyrus could barely think with the agony that filled him. He collapsed to the ground, legs giving out. All he could do was cry helplessly into the snow. Why wouldn’t the hurt stop? Why couldn’t it all just stop?

This was the most Flowey had ever done. He wanted it to end.

An hour passed, and the pain faded into a dull ache. Papyrus mustered up as much energy as he could, and lifted himself from the ground with his good arm. His brother was probably worried about him, the least he could do was get home before it got too late. But what would he do about his arm? He certainly didn’t have enough magic left to cast a healing spell. He had spent the last of his magic defending himself against Flowey.

Why did Flowey keep doing this? Hadn’t they used to be friends? What changed?

Maybe Papyrus had done something wrong. Maybe he had somehow hurt Flowey’s feelings. Staring at his arm, Papyrus realized he was too tired to care if Sans saw the cracks or not. All he wanted to do was nothing. He almost laughed at the irony of that thought. Him, Papyrus, do nothing? Pathetic! Impossible!

Papyrus trudged home, each step dreadfully slow. Everytime he walked forward, the world tilted and spun around him, and he felt like he was about to fall over from exhaustion. He had never wanted to sleep more. He hoped Sans was at Grillby’s, for once, that way he wouldn’t see Papyrus walking around like a drunken man.

He stared sadly at the bar as he stumbled past, dizziness filling his skull. It was getting hard to see straight. The world was blurring and bleeding together like watercolor, distorting and warping his view until he was overwhelmed with it all. 

There was the sound of a door opening, a shadowy figure walking towards him.

Not wanting to socialize with anyone, he began to walk faster. He didn’t want anyone to worry about him. All he wanted to do was go home. As the figure drew closer, a sense of danger filled him. Adrenaline rushed through his veins, and he sped up as he walked. He took another wobbly step forward, eyes widening as he felt the spinning world take over. He began to tumble to the ground, arms flailing out in a last attempt to stay balanced. The ground slipped out from under him and–

 Someone caught him before he fell.

…And they had caught him with his broken arm.

Papyrus howled as the searing pain was revived, the fire in his arm starting anew. The figure quickly let go, looking at him with regret and concern. Tears sprung in Papyrus’s eyes, his chest heaving with quick breaths. The figure was saying something to him, but he couldn’t make out the words. Everything was too loud, too bright, too much, and his arm throbbed unbearably. 

The figure hesitantly put a hand on his broken arm, and Papyrus flinched back, hissing at the stinging touch. They tried again, putting their hand on one of the less damaged areas of his arm. It was a gentle, soft grasp. He felt a slow, tiny trickle of healing magic emanating from the figure, and instantly recognized who it was. There was only one person he knew with such weak magic.

“Sa… ns…?” he wheezed between sobs, his voice cracked and quiet from all the crying he had been doing. His brother was standing in front of him, magic steadily alleviating some of the pain Papyrus was experiencing. 

“papyrus, what happened? did you challenge undyne to a fight or something?” Sans asked, staring, perturbed at the deep cracks in Papyrus’s arm.

“Um… Y- yes…?” Papyrus lied, shakily wiping away his tears as the pain numbed almost completely. 

Sans seemed surprised, despite not showing it on his face. Papyrus could easily read his brother. “oh…? huh. i’m… i’ll be right back, bro. i gotta talk to her.”

Realizing he had just said that Undyne, his best friend, had broken his arm, he stopped Sans before he could walk off. “W- WAIT! I LIED!” Papyrus shouted hoarsely, “I- IT WAS JUST SOMETHING SILLY!” 

“...something silly broke your arm?” Sans raised his eyebrows, unbelieving.

“...YES. I, WELL, UM… I TRIPPED ON ONE OF THE SPIKES ON MY PUZZLES. AND THE SPIKE SPIKED ME.” Papyrus said, unsure if Sans would accept this lie. Sans’s stiff posture relaxed, and his worried smile calmed.

“guess your puzzle was just too good, huh?” Sans chuckled, “but, uh, you should really rest. otherwise your arm might get worse.” 

Papyrus didn’t answer, feeling the adrenaline rush wear off. He realized how tired he was. Maybe he should lay down in the snow again… 

“bro?” Sans called, a troubled look in his eyes.

Papyrus staggered forward, an awful attempt to walk. He was too tired to go any further, drowning in a wave of exhaustion. His arms felt heavy, and his body felt like it was made of brick. His eyes fluttered shut, and he felt himself begin to fall. Everything slipped away, every sound and touch dissolving into nothingness.

--

Papyrus awoke to the sound of murmuring. He was on his racecar bed, in his room. Sans must’ve carried him back home. Blankets were piled on top of him, and they were certainly unhelpful. The heat made him start to sweat, and he weakly attempted to push the blankets to the side. He was propped up with a few pillows, but not so much that he was sitting. At least the pillows were comfortable, but the blankets… 

He pulled his arms out from under the sweltering blankets and pushed the pile off of the bed. Unfortunately, he underestimated their weight, and they began to pull him over as well. He stopped himself before he completely fell off the bed, but caught himself with his broken arm. Papyrus yelped and quickly removed his arm, causing him to fall off the bed with a big ‘thump.’

His fall was cushioned by the blankets, but he realized, even though he was on top of them, he was still boiling hot. There was the echo of rushed footsteps from outside, and his door slammed open.

“PAPYRUS!”

“papyrus!”

Sans and Undyne were standing in front of him, both looking incredibly alarmed. 

“You’re finally awake! It’s been days!” Undyne shouted, giving him a worried smile.

 “bro, are you alright? we heard you yell.” Sans said. 

Undyne was here? She must’ve been the one to carry him home. Now that he was thinking about it, Sans didn’t have the upper body strength for it. 

Papyrus sat up and gave them a faint smile. “I- I’M ALRIGHT. I’M F– HAK!! ” His eyes watered as he broke into a coughing fit, causing both Undyne and Sans to step away from him. Each cough felt dry and raspy, and it caused him to struggle to breathe. In between, he tried to gasp for air, only making himself cough more. 

Sans cautiously stepped towards him, holding a glass of water. Papyrus didn’t trust himself to hold the glass without spilling it, with the way his hands were shaking. “N- NO! I’M– HAK– I DON’T NEED–” Papyrus hacked, but Sans handed him the water anyway. Papyrus shakily took a sip, but a large amount of water splashed onto the blankets surrounding him. Papyrus groaned, “I’LL CLEAN IT UP.” He had just begun to stand up when Undyne gently pushed him towards his bed.

“I’ll do it. Papyrus, Sans told me what happened. I know you hate doing nothing, but you really gotta rest! If you don’t, your arm might get worse. Then I won’t get to snow wrestle you!!” Undyne explained. Papyrus didn’t know if no snow wrestling was a good or bad thing. He lay down on his bed, his head feeling like it was on fire.

“OW…” Papyrus grumbled, a sharp ache pounding against the sides of his skull. “what’s wrong?” Sans asked. “MY THROAT AND MY HEAD… FEEL LIKE THEY’RE BURNING ALIVE. I FEEL SICK…” Papyrus replied. 

Sans’ eyes went dark. 

“You’re sick?!” Undyne exclaimed. 

“UM… MAYBE?” Papyrus responded, unsure. Sickness was incredibly rare underground. Monsters, being made of dust and magic, couldn’t spread sickness around. One had to go to great lengths, do something amazingly stupid, to get sick. And when they did get sick, it could be life-threatening. 

“What!? We have to take you to Dr. Alphys! She’ll know what’s wrong! What in the Angel’s name did you do to get sick, Papyrus?!” Undyne gestured around wildly with her hands, obviously panicked. 

“I… I DON’T KNOW.” Papyrus answered. Maybe it was lying in the snow? Or fighting Flowey for so long? Papyrus winced as he remembered what had happened to him. Flowey had… Flowey had broken his…

“I’ll go call Alphys. But, first, anything you need? Some tea? Medicine? A blanket? ” Undyne fretted. “TEA IS FINE. YOU DON’T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME.” Papyrus said, overwhelmed by his nervous friend. “Great! I’ll go get some! It’ll be the best tea you’ve ever tasted in the world!!” Undyne walked out the door and shut it behind her. Papyrus sighed, as much as he loved Undyne, she could be a lot sometimes.

His brother sat on his bed, careful not to touch Papyrus. “hey, bro. feelin’ alright? you look real tired for someone who’s been asleep for two days.” Sans observed. Papyrus was about to ask if he really slept for two days when the door creaked back open.

“Uhh… what type of tea do you want?” Undyne peeked back through the door. “ANY TYPE IS FINE. THANK YOU UNDYNE…” Papyrus grinned at his friend, thankful for her help. The door closed, and Papyrus looked back at his brother.

Papyrus sat up. “I FEEL OKAY. I FEEL LIKE… LIKE I’M DEAD.” Papyrus said, thoughtfully. “woah. okay. those are two completely different answers, bud.” Sans said. 

“also, just curious, why were you so tired when i found you? when i checked you, all your magic was used up. what happened?” his brother asked while Papyrus avoided his eyes. 

“I- IT WAS NOTHING, I- I…” Papyrus stammered, trying to find the words. “UGH… I… I ALREADY TOLD YOU!” he snapped, shouting at his brother. He immediately regretted it and shrunk back in his bed. He couldn’t tell Sans the truth. If Flowey knew that he had told Sans, Flowey would hurt them. Flowey had made Papyrus promise not to tell. If he told…

Sans was unfazed. “you got spiked by a spike, i know. but you never told me why you were so exhausted.”

Papyrus muttered something under his breath.

“what was that?” Sans leaned closer, trying to catch what Papyrus was saying.

“I WAS TIRED FROM… DEALING WITH THOSE PESKY TEENAGERS. THEY KEPT MESSING WITH MY PUZZLES AND I HAD TO USE MY MAGIC TO BLOCK THEM.” Papyrus responded, coming up with a plausible explanation at last.

“did they hurt you?” Sans questioned, studying Papyrus’s expression.

“NOBODY HURT ME.” Papyrus stated. He felt guilty for lying to his brother, but, really, Sans didn’t need to know what had really happened. But… What if Sans could help him? Maybe Sans could get Flowey to stop, and they could be friends again? Papyrus desperately wanted it to stop. Everytime he met up with Flowey, Flowey would figure out a new way to hurt him, be it mentally or physically.

It was starting to wear him down.

If he didn’t tell someone soon, he might just die from the stress.

He had to tell him.

“EXCEPT…” Papyrus hesitated. Sans looked at him expectantly. They were both waiting for him to admit that he had been lying. Papyrus’s soul skipped a beat.

“...THOSE SPIKES.”

He couldn’t do it.

Why couldn’t he do it?

He was such a coward. He couldn’t even do something as simple as ask for help. How could he call himself brave if he was so afraid all of the time? 

“i mean, technically that’s true. you got a point.” Sans’s smile widened. 

Papyrus stared at his brother blankly before processing what he had said. “WAS THAT A SPIKE PUN??” Papyrus yelled in surprise. 

“eh. i guess. not my sharpest material.” Sans said teasingly. Papyrus put his head in his hands, pretending to cry. “THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.” Papyrus grumbled. “are my puns really that bad?” Sans asked, putting a hand on Papyrus’s shoulder. Papyrus looked back at his brother with a big grin. “YES, SANS! I’M AT MY BREAKING POINT!” Papyrus laughed at his own pun.

Before Sans could respond, the door opened. Undyne was carrying a cup of tea, and Papyrus suddenly became very aware of his sore throat. Undyne gave the cup to Papyrus, and he beamed at her. “THANK YOU, UNDYNE! I AM ALREADY FEELING MUCH BETTER.” he thanked her, grateful for her help.

It was true that he was feeling better. Papyrus felt happier around his friends, knowing that they wouldn’t let anything hurt him. It made him feel cared about. It made him feel loved.

Papyrus smiled and brought the tea to his jaw, about to take a sip, when he noticed it. 

The strong, overpowering scent of golden flowers . It filled the air, overtaking his senses, until the only thing he was aware of was the disgustingly sweet smell and the cold winds of the forest. The forest. He stopped.

He was back in the forest.

Vines crawling up his arm, a smiling face, bones snapping like chalk.

The smell of golden flowers in the air.

Papyrus screamed as his arm fell limp, backing away from his friend like his life depended on it.  Because it did.

Pain, endless and burning, he was on fire why did it burn why did it hurt so bad why did it burn–

The sound of broken glass, broken bone, crushed and snapped and taken apart.

The sound of screaming, raw and hoarse, was this death? Was he already dead?

The smell of golden…

He smelled the golden…

It smelled like… 

Nothing.

Nothing was there.

Papyrus looked around him, trying to ground himself. There was nothing there. Nobody was there. Nobody was there except… Undyne and Sans, one yelling at the other. Tea and shattered glass were spilled across the floor, along with the earlier water that had fallen out of his cup.

He had spilled two drinks today. A new record.

Had he screamed? It didn’t look like it. Otherwise, Sans would’ve been freaking out. He must’ve dropped the glass. Papyrus realized he was frozen, bones just as cold as when he had been lying in the snow. He couldn’t move. His words felt stuck in his throat.

Papyrus was afraid. 

“–froze up like that. What the hell happened? Did you do something? Why does he look so scared?!” Undyne shouted at Sans, who seemed confused. “listen, i don’t know. he’s sick, this could be a symptom. we should really take him to alphys.” Sans suggested. 

Papyrus wanted to say something, say anything, but the moment he thought of what he wanted to say, the words wouldn’t leave his mouth. Why couldn’t he speak? Why wasn’t his voice working?

He put a numb, skeletal hand on his throat, grasping it. Sans noticed this, and pulled the hand away. “don’t do that, bro. you might hurt yourself.” Sans told him. It was unnerving to Sans to see his loud, boisterous brother being so quiet. It was worrying. He wished Papyrus would talk to him.

“He can’t hear you. He’s obviously out of it. I still don’t understand what the hell happened. Was the tea that horrible? Does he not like golden flower tea?” Undyne growled, trying to think of anything she could’ve done to upset him. Papyrus was annoyed. He could hear them! It was just hard to move, and impossible to speak at the moment!

“nah, he loves the stuff. buys it everytime he goes shopping. he… doesn’t look too good. we should get going.” Sans advised. Papyrus felt uncomfortable with them talking about him like he wasn’t there. He reached a trembling hand out to brush against Sans’s jacket. That was really all he could do, his energy had been zapped away and he didn’t have much left to do anything else.

Sans stared at his brother, looking curiously at the hand. “bro, can you hear us?” 

“He can’t,” responded Undyne, “Otherwise he would say so.”

Papyrus put his hand down and gave a small nod. He tried to speak, but all that came out was an incoherent mumble. 

“Oh.” said Undyne, face flushing with embarrassment.

“do you need help standing and walking?” Sans asked. Papyrus nodded again. Sans put a hand on Papyrus’s back and helped lift him from the bed. Papyrus’s feet landed on the floor, legs feeling weak and shaky. Papyrus leaned on Sans, and Sans grunted under the weight. 

“Uh, how about I help Papyrus? Not to be rude, but you’re really short.” Undyne snorted at the sight of Sans almost falling over.

“urk… yeah… th… that would be preferable…” Sans replied, using all of his strength to keep Papyrus standing. Undyne took over for him, letting Papyrus lean on her instead. 

“careful with his arm.” Sans reminded her. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Not like he’s made of glass.” Undyne scoffed, rolling her eyes. Undyne helped Papyrus to walk out his room, and his jaw dropped as he saw the state of the house.

A laundry basket was lying in the hallway, socks were thrown across the couch, empty wrappers strewn about! The floor was a mess, crumbs and papers scattered everywhere he looked! Papyrus glared at Sans, feeling his voice finally return to him. 

“...S… SANS! TH… THE HOUSE!” he cried, knowing he would have to clean absolutely everything once he got better. 

“oops. sorry. you know how messy me and undyne can be.” Sans winked, and Papyrus screamed internally. As much as he loved his brother, Sans could be so annoying!

Getting down the stairs was a struggle. Each step was irritatingly slow to reach, and Papyrus was losing his patience. “I HATE THIS.” Papyrus complained half way down the stairs. 

“Well I hate this too!! You think I WANT to be hauling your bony ass down the stairs?! Because I don’t!” Undyne scowled. “YOU’RE NOT HAULING ME! THAT’S AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THING! YOU’RE SUPPORTING ME!” Papyrus retorted. 

“Fine! Now I’m hauling you!!” Undyne yelled, picking up Papyrus and throwing him across her shoulder with ease. Papyrus’s arm stung as he was moved, and he clenched his teeth. “OW!” Papyrus yelled as Undyne sprinted down the stairs. Once they reached the floor, Undyne plopped Papyrus back down and let him lean on her again.

“...DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN.” Papyrus said, half-joking. 

Sans stepped down the stairs behind them. “i’m having second thoughts about letting undyne be the one to help you.” Sans stated, watching the scene with concern and, though he tried to hide it, amusement.

“Fine, fine, I’ll be more careful. We just need to get him to Alphys, right? He’ll be fine. It’s not that hard.” Undyne assured him, opening the front door. The chill of Snowdin greeted them, the bitter cold inviting them outside.

“preferably with all his limbs still attached.” Sans added. Papyrus felt a little uneasy at this comment. If only Sans knew how much pain he had already gone through.

It was almost a shame that Papyrus couldn’t show off all the cool scars he had gotten, even though where he had gotten them from was way less cool…

Flowey was a surprisingly strong monster. Papyrus shivered. 

Undyne paused, lost in thought at Sans’s comment. “Alright… maybe a little harder than anticipated. Ngah! C’mon!” They walked through the snow, down to the Riverperson’s ferry. Papyrus had gathered enough strength to walk without wobbling, so he got into the boat without a problem.

It was confusing that he and Flowey used to be best friends. Sometimes Papyrus wondered if they still were, but then he remembered what Flowey had done to him. Flowey hurt him for no apparent reason, for fun. It was only this time that it had been really bad. Usually, Flowey healed him afterwards. Maybe Flowey had just forgotten…

The boat slowed to a stop and the three monsters stepped out, Papyrus coughing into his shoulder. Hotland was an unbearable place to be. WIth the awful puzzles, blistering heat, and molten lava everywhere you stepped, the only redeeming feature it had was that it was the MTT Resort. 

Alphys’s lab stood tall in the distance, a giant, white building with no windows and double sliding doors. Red lights attached to the side of the building blinked every few seconds, lighting the surrounding area with bright red.

Papyrus pushed past Sans and Undyne, wanting to get this over with before he fell over from tiredness. The doors automatically slid open with a quiet ‘whooosh’ and Papyrus stepped inside. Alphys was working at her desk, typing away on her computer. The desk was entirely covered in old sticky notes and stained piles of paper, along with empty cups of coffee and ramen.

“HELLO, DR. ALPHYS!” Papyrus greeted. The lizard monster jumped in surprise, looking at him with fear before relaxing. “O- oh. Hey, Papyrus.” she stuttered. Her eyes widened when Undyne and Sans entered behind him. “Uh, Sans…? Undyne!? W- what are you all doing here…? Ehehe…” she asked, standing up from her chair and looking at them nervously.

“Papyrus’s sick and we don’t know why.” Undyne replied. 

“Oh? Healing him shouldn’t be a problem… as long as he isn’t f- falling down…” Alphys said, examining Papyrus’s expression.

“and he also broke his arm.” Sans chimed in.

“Um… wow… Sounds like a rough day, huh?” Alphys joked awkwardly, “I can heal the arm first, then we can talk about the symptoms.”

Alphys put a cold, scaly hand on the broken bone, and Papyrus had to stop himself from flinching at the touch. A green glow flowed from her hand, and he felt the waves of healing magic wash across him until there was only a faded, barely noticeable scar left on his arm. When you were talented in healing magic, like Dr. Alphys, you could fix a broken arm in under a couple of seconds. Papyrus wished he were good at healing, it certainly would’ve saved him all of this trouble.

Alphys grabbed a clipboard and a pencil. “Alright, now, how are you feeling? Sore throat, stomach pains…? Wait… uh, y- you’re a skeleton…” Alphys trailed off in realization. 

“OH, NO, SKELETONS CAN STILL HAVE THOSE THINGS.” Papyrus assured her.

“H- How?” Alphys stammered. 

“HM… I DO NOT KNOW. MAGIC?” Papyrus mused. “ANYWAYS, I’VE BEEN VERY TIRED AND WEIRDLY DIZZY. ALSO COUGHING. AND, YES, MY THROAT IS SORE.” Papyrus said as Alphys wrote away on her clipboard. 

“not to mention he froze up all weird.” Sans stated, vaguely gesturing at Papyrus. Papyrus looked away, embarrassed. Why did he have to tell her? How humiliating…

“What do you mean by that?” Alphys asked, looking at the two skeletons curiously.

“I dunno. I just gave him some tea, and he, like… froze. He wouldn’t respond to anything and it was hard for him to move and speak afterwards.” Undyne explained, shrugging. He hated how they were talking like he wasn’t there.

“Maybe some sort of panic or anxiety attack? I don’t know what else it could be… I’m not really a psychiatrist…” Alphys answered. She scribbled something else down, then looked up at Sans. “Has he seemed more exhausted recently? Or anxious, maybe?” she questioned.

Sans scratched his head. “uhh… i guess he has seemed more… tense, recently? way more fidgety. i’ve actually been meaning to ask him about it.” Sans admitted. 

“Okay. I- I think I got it.” Alphys said definitively, putting her clipboard down on her desk.

“I think Papyrus might be sick from stress. He has a lot of the symptoms, like exhaustion, dizziness, anxiety attacks…. It’s actually fairly common in monsters, but if not treated, it can be serious.” Alphys informed. 

“So he just needs to relax?” Undyne asked. 

“Uhh… basically? Yeah. He shouldn’t do anything to exert himself or anything that makes him more stressed out. Also, I just want to say, how did he break his arm? T- That crack was awful…” she shivered, remembering how it seemed to travel up his arm. It seemed to have been broken in multiple places.

“he said he got it from falling on to one of his spike puzzles.” Sans replied. Alphys rubbed the nape of her neck with uncertainty. It wasn’t impossible that he got the cracks like that, but it was highly unlikely… If he broke his arm on a spike, he would’ve had to fall on it several times to get it to look anything like it did. 

…Weird.

“Huh. O- okay. Well, you’re free to go. Just make sure you rest, okay, Papyrus?” Alphys smiled at him. 

“OF COURSE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.” Papyrus said, glad that he could finally go home. When he got to his bed, he wanted to sleep for another two days.

Papyrus, Sans, and Undyne walked back out the doors, leaving the doctor awfully confused. 

Could he have fallen on the spike multiple times? He never mentioned it. But if it was a spike, shouldn’t it have gone straight through him? Or did it depend on how big the spike was? Did spikes work differently for skeletons? 

Intrigue overtaking her, she pulled up her camera feed from the cameras around the underground. She scrolled through the recent footage of the spike puzzle’s camera, knowing she might see Papyrus violently crack his arm.

She just wanted to see how it would happen.

The funny thing was, nothing ever showed. Papyrus had come and gone, recalibrating and leaving, but never staying. Nothing more happened. Those cracks had to be recent…

Alphys scrolled back a month, two months, looking through the footage desperately. There was nothing. 

Was Papyrus lying? What reason did he have to lie about breaking his arm?

He couldn’t have been telling the truth.

Alphys had the feeling that this couldn’t lead to anything good, but for now…

She would let sleeping dogs lie.

Chapter Text

For the past few days, Sans had been insufferable to talk to. Ever since they had gone to see Dr. Alphys, he wouldn’t let Papyrus do anything. He wasn’t allowed to recalibrate his puzzles, cook a meal, or even clean the house, unless he wanted to be told that he ‘needed to rest.’ And good god, the house was a mess! It took all of Papyrus’s strength not to clean it.

At first Sans’s worrying seemed reasonable, but now it seemed unnecessary and immensely annoying. Sans was never one to be a worrywart, but Papyrus could tell that his brother sensed something was off…

Papyrus was lying on the couch with Sans, bored out of his mind. He wasn’t built to be resting! He was built for working! Lying on a couch for hours was supposed to be Sans’s job! Papyrus sighed, readjusting himself to be more comfortable. The couch was stiff and cold, not somewhere you would really want to sleep. How did Sans stand this?

The one thing that Papyrus had to look forward to today was his training with Undyne. She also wanted him to rest, but not nearly as much as Sans wanted him to! Alphys’s diagnosis about him being stressed out was true, but that didn’t mean that Sans had to baby him.

…Well, it seemed less like Sans babying him, and more like Sans was trying to turn him into a lazybones. Once he got better, he would just have to work twice as hard! 

Truth be told, the cause of his stress was quite obviously because of Flowey. The flower monster constantly switched up from being his best friend to hurting him, and it was starting to get to his head. 

He knew they weren’t friends anymore. It was impossible to be friends with Flowey after how much he had hurt Papyrus. Friends didn’t hurt each other. But, he couldn’t escape Flowey. If he tried to run, Flowey would always find him. If he tried to get someone to help him, Flowey would kill them. Anything Papyrus tried to do to save himself would only end in tragedy.

It didn’t matter to Papyrus. As long as Flowey didn’t hurt anyone other than him, he would just… have to power through it. Flowey had to get bored eventually, right? Why was Flowey even doing this? For fun? Was there even a reason?!

This was another reason Papyrus didn’t like resting. It caused him to overthink. He just wished Flowey would stop soon.

Papyrus stood up from the couch, popping his back as he did so. Sans opened his eyes and looked over at him blearily. 

“where you going, bro?”

Papyrus crossed his arms. “I HAVE TRAINING WITH UNDYNE TODAY.”

“uhh… isn’t that on tuesday?” Sans asked groggily.

Papyrus scowled, “SANS! TODAY IS TUESDAY! AND I’M ABSOLUTELY TIRED OF DOING NOTHING ALL DAY!”

“you’re tired from doing nothing? welcome to the club. we’re so glad to have you.” Sans said with a shit-eating grin on his face. Papyrus rolled his eyes, “URGH! I AM NOT RESPONDING TO THAT. GOODBYE, BROTHER! I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN DOING COMPLETELY ZILCH!” Papyrus stepped to the side and reached for the front door, when Sans sighed.

“don’t you gotta rest? doctor’s orders. nobody wants you overexerting yourself. plus, you’re still sick.”

Not this again.

It was true that Papyrus was still sick, but it wasn’t as bad as everyone thought it was. It was only occasional bouts of dizziness or coughing fits, it wasn’t like it was constant. 

“SANS, YOU’RE WORRYING TOO MUCH. I’LL BE FINE, I’LL TAKE BREAKS IF I NEED TO.” Papyrus protested. 

Sans got up from the couch, smile weakening. “you fainted from how sick you were just a couple days ago. i had to call undyne to drag you back home. i’ve never seen you so… unwell. not to mention you had an anxiety attack. i think it’s normal for me to be concerned about my brother’s health.”  

Papyrus’s face flushed with shame, trying to get that awful memory out of his head. Papyrus walked up to Sans and put a hand on his shoulder. “BROTHER, I AM MORE STRESSED OUT DOING NOTHING THAN DOING SOMETHING. I CAN’T JUST BE COOPED UP ALL DAY LIKE YOU. I NEED TO GO OUTSIDE AND GET SOME FRESH AIR! WELL… AS FRESH OF AIR AS THE UNDERGROUND HAS, ANYWAYS. I’LL BE FINE.”

Sans sighed, “...alright. you can go. just be back by dinner, capiche? don’t want you passing out again.”

“OF COURSE!” Papyrus responded, running out the door. He smiled at the sight of the cozy little town. Of course, he could see it from his window too, but it was just so much better in person. The warmth surrounded him, making him feel fuzzy. He walked to the ends of the town, watching as the snowy ground faded into a damp soil. Waterfall was not as amazing as Snowdin, but way better than Hotland.

The one thing he disliked about it was the dripping stalactites. They always ruined his clothes and the water constantly got into his eye sockets! Other than that, Waterfall seemed like a comfy place to live.

He pushed his way through a patch of tall grass, pausing to admire a group of lovely echo flowers. The wide variety of plants were another thing to love about Waterfall. Snowdin and Hotland didn’t really have the right conditions to grow anything…

He leaned in, trying to listen to what the echo flowers were whispering, when a bright yellow something caught his eye. Papyrus froze, stifling a gasp.

There, surrounded by the field of echo flowers, was a familiar, smiling, Flowey. Papyrus stumbled backwards in surprise. Had Flowey been watching him the whole time?

“Howdy, Papyrus!” Flowey grinned. The flower’s eyes widened in a look of false worry. “Boy, you look scared. What’s wrong, friend? Did something happen?” Flowey asked. 

“...N… NO. NOTHING.” Papyrus answered, suddenly feeling very queasy. 

“I’ve missed you, Papyrus! How about you sit down and we have a chat?” Flowey said, one of his vines wrapping around Papyrus’s ankle. Papyrus struggled and tried to shake the vine off, but quickly realized it was pointless to fight back.

“I… I- I CAN’T RIGHT NOW, FLOWEY.” Papyrus stammered, desperately trying to think of some way to get away from him.

“And why’s that?” questioned Flowey, cocking his head to the side. 

The sound of rushing water and whispers was all that filled the room. Papyrus had no answers. He racked his brain, trying to find something to say, any excuse to use, but his mind went blank. There was nothing. Flowey was going to hurt him, and he’d have no way to escape. He was trapped. 

“No reason–?” Flowey taunted, before being cut off by Papyrus.

“I HAVE TRAINING WITH UNDYNE. I CAN’T BE LATE! IF… IF I’M NOT THERE… SHE’LL THINK SOMETHING’S HAPPENED TO ME.” Papyrus interrupted, having finally found a good (and actually true) excuse. 

Flowey’s petals drooped, and the flower frowned. “Oh… really? Or…  do you just not want to hang out with me? That’s… that’s fine, Papyrus. You could’ve just told me…” Flowey said, voice full of disappointment. 

“WHAT? NO, NO, IT’S NOT THAT!” Papyrus responded instinctually. “UM, IN FACT, WE COULD HANG OUT AFTER, MAYBE…?” The flower immediately smiled again, almost like he had never even been sad, “Really? Sure!”

Papyrus internally cringed as he realized what he had just done.

Damn his natural kindness!  

“I’LL SEE YOU LATER THEN, FLOWEY.” Papyrus grinned weakly. He had no idea why he was still trying to appease Flowey. Or, wait, it was so Flowey didn’t kill him and all of his friends.

“You know where to find me.” Flowey said, disappearing under the dirt. Papyrus let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

He could already tell this was going to end up horribly, and now he felt the taste of bile rise in the back of his throat. Papyrus pushed it down, not really feeling like throwing up at the moment.

The walk through Waterfall, instead of feeling peaceful, now felt tense and ominous. Every step and breath he took was too loud, the sounds of his footsteps echoing throughout the cavern. 

Why didn’t he take the ferry? 

Papyrus realized how easier that would’ve been. It wasn’t a long walk to Undyne’s house, but the ferry meant that there would’ve been no flowery interruptions. Papyrus mentally kicked himself for being so stupid.

Undyne’s house stood still in the distance. Papyrus eagerly ran up to it and knocked on the door, using the old ‘shave and a haircut’ rhythm. There was the sound of shuffling, crashing, swearing, and then the door slammed open. 

“PAPYRUS! Hey, dude! Are you feeling any better?” Undyne greeted him. 

Actually, no, he was not. He felt nauseous and dizzy and like he was about to fall over. But he was still determined to have fun with Undyne! He couldn’t disappoint his friend!

“OF COURSE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS FEELING AS GOOD AS NEW!” Papyrus replied proudly, putting his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest. He felt bad, sure, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do cool poses.

“That’s good! C’mon, let’s go!” Undyne shouted, running outside towards the training dummy. Papyrus followed after her, preparing himself for another intense training session. 

“Do you wanna practice against the dummy, or do you think you can handle a fight against me?” Undyne questioned, crossing her arms. Against all common sense, Papyrus decided he wanted to fight against Undyne.

Papyrus had no idea why he made that choice. He already felt tired and sick enough without getting his ass kicked by Undyne. Papyrus got into a defensive stance, readying himself to dodge Undyne’s numerous spears.

“FUHUHU! GET READY, PUNK!!” Undyne laughed, sending the first spear hurling through the air. Papyrus sent up a wall of bones to block the attack, but just as he did so another spear hit him from behind.

Undyne was really good at catching someone off guard. Papyrus always had to be on high alert with her. The spear barely did any damage, but he felt the world start to tilt. Before his wooziness could get any worse, he steadied himself.

Papyrus knew just what to do to confuse her. He summoned a string of blue bones, and they soared towards Undyne. Undyne used her spear to reflect the attacks, twirling it left and right in an almost hypnotizing manner. One of the bones still managed to hit her, and she fell to the ground, her soul glowing a dark blue.

“Color magic!? Alright, two can play at that game!” Undyne shouted, the blue gravity-defying magic keeping her pinned to the ground. A spear was sent whistling towards Papyrus, and he swiftly moved out of the way, right into another spear.

He felt Undyne’s green magic slowly encase his soul, and an energy shield appeared in front of him. Spears began to appear faster, quicker, and he began to feel heavily disoriented by the flashes of magic and light. Using the shield to block most of the incoming attacks, he then sent an onslaught of magic towards her. 

She barely moved out of the way in time, and, judging by the passion in her eyes growing, he knew he had made a mistake. “HAH! You can do way better than that!!” she roared, a wide, toothy smile on her face. 

Saying Undyne was passionate about fighting was an understatement. When she was worked up like this, she was… Hm. There were no words to describe it. He would’ve said chaotic, but that, too, was an understatement. 

The attacks began to whiz past him, blurs of energy that were getting increasingly hard to defend against. The world was spinning around him, and he gracelessly attempted to stop the storm of magic with his shield. Every move he made made him feel unbalanced, the ground uneven. He couldn’t even see Undyne through all the magic. The attacks that missed hit the ground and burst into lights, covering his view.

Sensing there was no way he would be able to block all of them, he feebly covered his head with the shield, bracing himself for the incoming hits. 

Somehow, even though they didn’t physically hurt, the attacks felt truly awful. Lost in a daze of noise and color, he felt himself fall to the ground in the confusion. It was an overwhelming, jumbled sensation that took over. Then, after a couple seconds of pure mayhem and pandemonium, it was gone.

Even after the clouds of magic dust cleared, he stayed lying on the ground, panting. Sweat dripped down his skull, trying to process whatever had just occurred.

“Damn it! Papyrus, crap, are you okay?” Undyne ran towards him, kneeling down to see if he was hurt.

“HUFF... I’M… HU… FINE…” Papyrus gasped, trying to catch his breath. They probably shouldn’t have done such an intense fight after Papyrus had just gotten his arm healed, and while he was still sick.

…It was better than staying home all day. 

“Sans and Alphys are going to kill me…” Undyne realized, covering her mouth with her hands. 

“I… HUFF… I DON’T THINK THEY’LL BE ABLE TO, WITH THOSE ATTACKS. I THINK I FINALLY… HUFF… FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD.” Papyrus chuckled. 

Undyne laughed, “Heh, yeah, I, uh, didn’t really mean to go so hard on you. You actually probably shouldn’t even be fighting me while you’re unwell… Do you need help getting up?”

“NO, I’M ALL GOOD.” Papyrus said, sitting up. Just as he did so, he felt himself become sick, the awful taste in the back of his throat growing. Papyrus sputtered out, trying to rid the feeling from his mouth.

Undyne stared at him uncertainly, standing up and moving out of the way. “Papyrus…? What…?”

He then promptly threw up.

“...Shit. Uhh… I’ll go get you some water.” Undye quickly ran into the house.

Papyrus lifted himself from the ground, disgusted with himself. He should’ve practiced on the dummy instead. He had overestimated his abilities. He could only hope that Undyne wouldn’t tell Sans about this…

Before he knew it, Undyne was back. He took the water from her, and took a swig. The water helped, but it also brought back the taste of vomit. He had to stop himself from gagging in revulsion.

“THANKS, UNDYNE. STARS… I’M SORRY… I’LL CLEAN IT UP.” he offered, gesturing towards the throw-up but still refusing to look at it. Undyne shook her head, “No, you really need to go home and rest. You’re still sick, ‘Rus. We shouldn’t have even done this. It sucks, but no more training sessions until you feel better.” she ordered.

“I’M FINE! I CAN STILL CLEAN STUFF. I’M NOT USELESS.” Papyrus retorted, tapping his foot in annoyance.  Wonderful! Now he wasn’t allowed any more training sessions. What would he even do in the meantime? Most likely he’d continue to lie on that nasty old couch, thinking about the possible deaths of all his loved ones and contemplate when exactly his life had started to go downhill. He wished he had never gone to Alphys. He wished he had never met Flowey.

“Captain’s orders, Papyrus. Go home.” Undyne demanded. Papyrus groaned and began to walk away. From behind him, Undyne’s eyes softened. She didn’t want Papyrus to hurt himself.

--

Papyrus didn’t want to meet with Flowey. He wanted to go home to his brother, watch some TV, and enjoy a nice meal. If he had it his way, he would even fall asleep and have some good dreams for once.

Papyrus didn’t really have a choice, though. 

Papyrus anxiously walked past his house, feeling terribly guilty for lying to Sans about being home by dinner. Surely, Sans wouldn’t mind that much. He continued to walk, turning to an old trail in the forest. Not many people knew about this path, since it was fairly old and deteriorating. The path was barely visible at this point.

Papyrus clutched his ribcage, still feeling sick to his non-existent stomach. He eventually made it to a clearing. Papyrus never wanted to see this place ever again. He never wanted to have to go back here, knowing he was going to be hurt.

But he did. Everytime Flowey asked him, he came back. It wasn’t his choice to make. Really, it never was. 

Flowey sat there in the middle of the clearing, humming a melody. Flowey perked up at the sight of his friend. “Papyrus! You’re here! Come on, sit down!” 

Papyrus winced as he sat in the snow, feeling the cold seep into his bones. His throat ached. “HELLO, FLOWEY.” he responded. 

“Oh, relax! You seem so stiff!” Flowey giggled. Papyrus tried to force himself to relax, but he only managed to increase the uncomfortable feeling in his gut. Flowey stopped laughing, pausing for a moment. Flowey seemed… weirdly thoughtful for a moment.

“Hey, Papyrus… Have you ever seen a human corpse?” Flowey asked unexpectedly, a smile still on his face.

“NO…?” Papyrus answered, unsure where this conversation was going, and surprised at the strange question. It was such an odd question that Papyrus wondered if he had heard correctly.

“I have! Did you know humans have bones inside them? That’s weird, right? Humans don’t dust when they die, they just leave behind an empty shell of themselves. They’re so stiff! It’s like they’re frozen. And their skin is so cold and icky…” Flowey trailed off. Papyrus wanted to leave. Just the thought of a human corpse made him feel even worse, and his soul churned at the picture that formed in his mind.

“THAT’S… THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?” Papyrus questioned, awfully confused. 

“Well… You know who that human was?” Flowey asked, his smile growing wider. Papyrus wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“WHO?”

“My sibling!” And at that, Flowey burst into laughter. The look on Papyrus’s face was hilarious to him!

Papyrus stood, staring at Flowey in absolute horror. How did Flowey have a human sibling? Why was he aughing at the fact that his sibling died? Was this all some sort of… coping mechanism? Was that why Flowey was hurting him?

“Hee hee… Did you know it’s my fault they’re dead?” Flowey said at last, his hysteria dying down. “I’M SURE THAT’S NOT TRUE,” Papyrus answered. It was a half-lie. He could picture Flowey murdering his sibling in cold blood. But… at the same time… Flowey was probably hurt. Flowey might just blame himself for something he didn’t even do. Papyrus had no idea what’d he do if he thought he killed his brother.

Flowey chuckled, “It is! I helped them kill themself! I poisoned them!” Flowey’s face twisted, the flower’s eyes growing dark and his teeth sharpening. Papyrus backed away from the flower. 

“What are you scared of, Papyrus?” Flowey teased, a vine wrapping around Papyrus’s hand. 

“Do you not want to be my friend anymore? All I’m doing is warning you. You can’t get too attached. I’m helping you, Papyrus. All our little sessions are just me preparing you for the outside world! It is kill or be killed, after all…” 

The vine in his hand playfully weaved itself through Papyrus’s fingers, beginning to tighten its grip. 

“S… STOP…” Papyrus murmured, knowing it was useless. Fighting back never worked. It never did.

“One day, you’ll be just like me! I just have to toughen you up some more! Then, you’ll understand what it’s like!” Flowey laughed, more vines wrapping around Papyrus’s ankles and trapping him where he stood. 

The vines grew tighter still, digging into him, and Papyrus knew they weren’t going to stop. He felt like his bones were about to break off, his fingers about to turn into a fine dust. His hand was tingling, a soft sparkle that quickly grew and grew until it stung as hot as the Core itself.

 Stop

“...P- PLEASE…”

Stop stop stop 

Papyrus felt the nausea grow in his throat. “S… ST…”

He couldn’t get the words out. Flowey’s grip was only getting more painful, so strong that his arm felt like it was going to fall off. He was going to die here, turn into a heap of dust, in the most slow, torturous, agonizing way possib–

“Ring, ring, ring! Ring, ring, ring!”

It would've been funny, if it hadn’t happened during one of the most excruciating moments in Papyrus’s life. His phone was ringing. Flowey loosened the vines and looked at Papyrus with a big smirk, looking incredibly amused. 

“Go on,” Flowey prodded, “Answer it.”

Flowey fully released Papyrus, and Papyrus, unprepared for the sudden action, fell to the ground. The skeleton fumbled for his phone, clumsily answering the call. It was Sans.

“papyrus... bro, you promised you’d be home by dinner. i, uh, got grillby’s. i know you don’t like it, but…” Sans sounded disappointed. If Papyrus heard right, there was also a trace of… annoyance?

Papyrus sighed, “I KNOW. I’M SORRY.” Flowey was still watching him. Papyrus tried not to look back, afraid of the other monster’s gaze.

“so… what are you doing?” Sans asked, “recalibrating your puzzles? when alphys specifically told you not to? i already called undyne, and she said you weren’t there anymore. it’s cool that you’re such a hard worker, bro, but if you don’t rest, you’ll never get better.”

“I’M SORRY…” Papyrus apologized earnestly. He didn’t want to worry Sans. That was the last thing he ever wanted to do. Papyrus felt a chill go down his spine, one that wouldn’t go away. 

But it wasn’t a chill. Papyrus looked over his shoulder and gasped. A vine was crawling up his neck bone, slowly twisting around it. Papyrus looked over at Flowey helplessly, his eyes pleading for the flower to quit. Flowey ignored Papyrus’s expression.

“bro… to be honest, i’m a little worried about you. i don’t want you hurting yourself. when will you be back?” Sans confessed.

The vine was fully wrapped around his neck. Papyrus’s hands were shaking, staring at Flowey in utter disbelief. Was he this determined to make Papyrus suffer?

Papyrus hesitated before attempting to speak into the phone. 

Then the vines squeezed. And the words were choked out of him. His phone dropped to the ground, and Papyrus put his hands to the vines, trying to get them off his throat by any means. He clawed at them in a frenzy, feeling his breathing grow erratic as panic took a hold of him.

“are you ignoring me?” asked Sans, the snow muffling the phone’s audio. “...heh.”

Papyrus barely comprehended the words coming out of the device, but he understood them enough that he felt his soul pang with even greater distress. Falling on his back in some crazed version of tug-o-war, he writhed as the vines grew stronger.

“papyrus, please. you can’t… there’s obviously something wrong. please just come home. i’ll even let you clean the house. won’t that be neat? ” Sans tried to joke, but was unable to hide his concern.

Papyrus felt lightheaded, and he slowly stopped grabbing at the vines. The vines gave him just enough oxygen to breathe, but made him so… tired…

“...just tell me what’s wrong. you’re never this quiet. are you… angry at me? look, i’m sorry that you’re sick, but i’m just trying to help.” the phone’s audio crackled. 

“...uh… papyrus? can you answer and quit ignoring me? you…” Sans sighed, “… if… if you would stop working all the goddamned time, then maybe i wouldn’t have to pester you about it!” Sans said, his voice raised. 

Papyrus weakly reached for the phone, gagging as Flowey held him back. He couldn’t take this. His bones ached. He had to be already dead by now. This had to be hell. Some icy, cold, hell where, instead of flames, the ice burnt and stung him as he leaned against it.

“what is wrong with you? you’re seriously not going to respond? i… i only want you to get better, pap. bro… come home. please. this is starting to get annoying.” Sans warned.

No. This was worse than death. Papyrus was alive, feeling pain that felt like it would last forever. It was never going to end. Tears sprung in Papyrus’s eyes as he struggled for air.

“...okay. alright. you’ve made yourself pretty clear. i get that i’m bothering you, so… if you aren’t going to answer, i’ll just go. just… think about it alright? i love you, bro. bye.” The phone beeped, and the call ended. Right as it did, Flowey let go at last. Papyrus took a giant breath of air, his breathing still abnormal, body trying to catch all the air it had lost. 

“Well, that was fun, huh?” Flowey beamed. Papyrus lie on the ground, breathing deeply before attempting to stand. Flowey giggled as Papyrus almost slipped trying to get up. “You better get home, that smiley trashbag sounds upset! This is why I’m telling you… don’t get too attached, Papyrus.”

He had barely any strength left to respond. Papyrus nodded absentmindedly, taking a woozy step forward. He stumbled towards the exit of the clearing, too tired to form a coherent thought. All he knew was that he needed to get home if he didn’t want to make his brother mad. 

Just as he was about to leave, Flowey put another vine on his shoulder. Papyrus didn’t turn around. He didn’t want to see his face.

“I trust that you’ll be back tomorrow, right? I’m so bored without you…” Flowey complained. Again, Papyrus nodded, then walked off. It was too much to handle.

--

Papyrus sluggishly opened the door to the house. This was the second time that he felt like he needed to sleep for a week. It was becoming surprisingly common for a monster who rarely ever slept. The television was on. It was one of Mettaton’s shows. 

“...HI.” Papyrus said softly.

Sans immediately stood up from the couch and clicked the television off. His eyebrows furrowed into an irritated expression. Sans stopped when he saw how tired Papyrus was, and gave him a pitiful look.

“i warned you.” he sighed, wrapping Papyrus in a hug. Papyrus’s eyes widened and he instinctively shoved Sans to the floor, stepping backwards until his back was against the wall. It felt so wrong. It felt like vines, encasing him and holding him still, refusing to let go. Papyrus whimpered, pressing himself further against the wall.

“ow!” Sans cried, rubbing his head. “papyrus, what the…? what was that for? i…” 

“...NOTHING.” Papyrus replied stiffly, struggling to feel guilty for pushing his brother. He was too exhausted for this. 

“where have you been? undyne says you threw up. why didn’t you come home? you should’ve called me.” Sans questioned. Papyrus felt like he was being interrogated. 

“I WAS FIXING MY PUZZLES. I’M GOING TO BED.” Papyrus droned groggily, pushing past his brother and starting up the stairs. “we’re not done talking about this, bro. you just pushed me for no reason. i mean, heh, maybe i deserved it, but… something is wrong. i just want you to feel better. so stop making this difficult.” Sans said, climbing up the stairs after him. 

“THEN… THEN MAYBE I DON’T WANT TO FEEL BETTER. MAYBE I WANT TO BE SICK FOREVER! OR MAYBE I JUST WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP TREATING ME LIKE AN IDIOT!” Papyrus snapped, balling his hands into fists. 

“maybe when you stop acting like an idiot i’ll stop treating you like one!” Sans shouted.

“Stop being such an idiot.” Flowey said, a distant, foggy memory…

Papyrus winced at the reminder of Flowey’s constant insults. “I… I’M NOT! S- SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!” he yelled, quickly running into his room and locking the door shut. He could see Sans’s slippers through the crack under the door.

“papyrus… you’re being…” Sans faltered. 

“I’M BEING AN IDIOT, RIGHT? PAPYRUS BEING STUPID, ONCE AGAIN! IS THAT CORRECT? HM?” shot Papyrus, who had an angry smile on his face.

Sans didn’t respond. Papyrus could still see his slippers from under the door. He was wearing his favorite pink bunny slippers that Papyrus had bought him long before everything had become such a mess.

“...GO AWAY.”

He watched as the slippers walked down the hall, out of view. 

Papyrus sighed, feeling a messed up sense of relief. 

He lay down on his bed, too tired to cry, and felt a growing sense of dread as he closed his eyes.

Chapter Text

Papyrus woke up in the early morning, around four AM. His body still dully throbbed, and he faintly realized he had not eaten anything since yesterday’s breakfast. Papyrus got out of bed, covering his yawn with his hands. His body pounded with hunger, but the mere thought of eating made him gag. His empty stomach made every movement sluggish and draining.

Papyrus walked out of his room and down the stairs, glancing at a photo of him and Sans hanging from the wall. It was taken when they had just bought the house. Papyrus insisted on taking photos of their new home, but he managed to take so many that they ended up running out of film. They also had nowhere to put the photos, so they ended up just keeping the one. It was a fond memory, if you ignored how painful it was to decide which photo to keep. Looking back, he should’ve listened to Sans and taken only one photo. 

He stepped into the kitchen.

As Papyrus opened the fridge, memories from last night struck him like a knife. 

Why didn’t he ever listen to his brother?  

He had yelled at and pushed his brother when Sans was only trying to help. What type of brother was he? He hadn’t even felt bad for his actions at the time, and that only made him feel worse about it.

Should he wake up Sans and apologize? …No, it was too early. Sans would just be annoyed with him. Besides, even if he wasn’t, Papyrus felt too dreadful about pushing his brother to confront him. Sans might not even forgive him. 

Papyrus took out some of Grillby’s leftovers that Sans had brought home. As much as he despised the food there, his hunger greatly outweighed his dislike (and his nausea.) He brought the greasy bag to the table, grunting as he sat down. It smelled greatly of salt and bad life choices.

Inside the wrinkled brown bag was a disgusting looking burger… if you could call it that. It was more ketchup than burger at that point. Looked like Sans had gotten to it first. Papyrus managed to wipe most of the ketchup off with a napkin he had gotten from the bag, and he hesitated before taking a bite. His face scrunched up at the weird texture of the bread, but he managed to eat the burger without problem. ‘Without a problem’ meaning that he didn’t throw it up right after he ate it.

Once his hunger was satisfied, he became aware of a raging headache. Papyrus sighed. He’d just have to deal with it.

Rubbing his head in the hopes it would stop stinging, he recalled Flowey had requested to see him today. Great. At least he had some of his strength back from his meal. Sans didn’t want him to go outside, but maybe he could sneak out while his brother was still asleep? If he was lucky, he would get out and back into the house without Sans noticing a thing. He didn’t want Sans to get even more upset with him.

…

Why did everything feel like it was going wrong? Everything felt scary. Even the buzz of the lights overhead sounded eerie and unnatural, and Papyrus had no clue why he felt so paranoid in his own house, a place that usually felt safe and familiar. Papyrus wished he could undo it all. Maybe if he could just redo his life, he wouldn’t have to live in fear of the unexpected. He could fix everything.

Honestly, it was no use thinking about what he could’ve done. Now, Papyrus was friends with Flowey. And it was permanent. 

Before leaving, he set his scarf on the table. It felt too tight around his neck, and he didn’t want the possibility of Flowey taking it away. Papyrus stood up from his seat, took a deep breath, and hesitantly walked out the front door, shutting it softly. 

The town of Snowdin was still asleep. Most nocturnal monsters lived in Waterfall, where the villages would be pitch black without the bioluminescent plants. Papyrus was grateful for this, as he didn’t want anyone potentially seeing him wander out into the middle of the forest at 4 AM. Usually only the rebel teens were up this late, and they always caused some kind of trouble. It would be awfully suspicious if he was seen, especially with how nervous he felt and probably looked. The silence of the town was slightly unnerving, but at least the recognizable cool cave smell was still there.

He now regretted leaving his scarf behind. Without it, he felt vulnerable and cold. Papyrus rubbed his neck, trying not to imagine how this meeting with Flowey would play out. Hopefully, it would be boring. Being bored was extremely better than being dead. Interesting things always brought bad news.

Papyrus continued walking until he made it to the path into the forest. He stopped. Surely, Flowey still had to be asleep? He could go do something else, right? Flowey wouldn’t mind. Papyrus would just wait until it was later in the morning.

Despite what Sans thought, it had been forever since he had even touched his puzzles. There was just a lot going on! From Flowey’s behavior, to Alphys’s diagnosis, to Sans’s insisting on him resting… It was a lot. Of course, The Great Papyrus didn’t need to rest. While it would be nice, he couldn’t possibly rest until he felt his problems were solved!

But, there was only one person who could solve his problems. And that was himself.

Papyrus walked past the Librarby, Grillby’s, and the Shop, until he reached one of his pattern puzzles.

This pattern was way outdated, and some of the metal had begun to rust. He must’ve forgotten to use a rust inhibitor… He would have to replace all the tiles. It didn’t matter much, it was much too easy of a solution anyways. Papyrus grumbled at his past self’s foolishness and got to work, unclicking one of the tiles from its spots and setting it to the side. 

He had to admit, it was a genius design! Instead of having to use screwdrivers to unscrew a tile, one only had to unlock it from its place and pick it up as simply as a puzzle piece! Then again, a human could dismantle the whole puzzle if they figured that out… that might prove to be a problem…

If Papyrus really wanted to solve his problems, he would have to do something about them. Right now he was just… trying to wait it out, forget about everything wrong that was going on. But that clearly wasn’t working. He would have to make the puzzle a little more tricky to manipulate while also making it so someone couldn’t ignore it or skip it. A different, difficult, but ultimately better method was needed. Papyrus had to do something about this.

Flowey wasn’t going to stop unless someone made him stop. 

Papyrus began to take out the other tiles. He could most likely donate them to people working at The Core. They could easily melt down metal into new material. Sketching out new designs for this puzzle would be fun, if he had the time. Flowey might want to hang out with him more, though, which might fill up his schedule a bit. 

…Why was everything so complicated now? And when had he turned into such a coward? 

Papyrus set the last piece to the side, sighing. This puzzle wasn’t going to fix itself. There was one thing he could do. He had to talk to Flowey. Papyrus hadn’t had a real heart-to-heart with his… friend in a while. That was because his last few attempts at getting Flowey to calm down had been disastrous.

But, wasn’t Papyrus supposed to at least try? Wasn’t that his whole thing? To not give up? If he gave up now, then Flowey would definitely give up too. 

Flowey had been through something awful, that was quite obvious enough. He mentioned having a human sibling, which was… strange and not at all common. There was something terribly familiar about Flowey’s story, the one about him helping his sibling die. It felt like an itch in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t quite scratch it. 

Still, this story was important, although it was unsettling. If Papyrus could get through to Flowey, he could save himself from this rotten friendship they had. And, yes, at this point it was safe to say he’d rather suffer in his loneliness than have to sit in a room with Flowey. Papyrus believed everyone could be better if they tried, but so far Flowey was not trying in the slightest. Maybe he just needed a little push. 

Papyrus began to pick up the puzzle pieces, and groaned under the weight of the metal slabs. For all his strength and calcified bones, twenty giant pieces of metal were still very heavy. He took a step forward, shifting his arms to better support the mass he was holding, when he felt something brush against his boot. Papyrus yelped and jumped into the air, dropping the tiles on to the ground, with them narrowly missing crushing his foot. 

He swiftly turned to see what had touched him, and his panic only grew when he saw what it was. Flowey waved a thin, green, vine at him. “Hi! I really spooked you, didn’t I? Oh gosh, you should’ve seen the look on your face!” 

For some reason, this was way less surprising then it should’ve been. Of course it was Flowey. Of course it was. Surprised or not, Papyrus still had a hand over his chest, breathing hard. He was easier to startle, recently. 

“GAH… HU… HELLO FLOWEY…” Papyrus gasped out. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO EARLY?” 

“I could say the same for you, Papyrus!” Flowey responded. “BUT AREN’T YOU JUST A CHILD? I THOUGHT YOU WERE BARELY OUT OF STRIPES BY NOW…” Papyrus said, now trying to recall if Flowey had ever shared his age or not. Flowey acted young, but he knew things no parent would tell a child. Flowey knew how a human corpse felt, he knew how to tell monster dust from snow, he knew about all sorts of traumas and pains that made Papyrus sick just thinking about. Flowey was odd. 

“Oh, silly Papyrus! I’m much older than you.” Flowey’s smile weakened in irritation. Everybody assumed he was a child. Technically he was, but with the resets, he had to be decades older than he was when he died. Perhaps even a century or two. 

“OH! I’M SORRY. MY MISTAKE.” Papyrus cringed at the look on Flowey’s face and anxiously wrung his hands together.

“No worries! I just wanted to see how you were doing, friend. How about we go to our meeting spot?” Flowey bubbled. Papyrus stared longingly at the tiles scattered across the snow, then looked back at Flowey.

“…OF COURSE. COULD I PERHAPS PUT MY THINGS UP FIRST?”

Flowey rolled his eyes and scoffed. “You can do that later!” he scowled impatiently. 

It felt wrong to just leave his puzzle such a mess. The least he could do was take the rusted parts back home. Papyrus took a step towards Flowey. “IT WOULD ONLY TAKE A MINUTE! I REALLY WANT TO FINISH—”

A vine shot up and tugged him forward. Papyrus stumbled, balancing himself. For a second, with the vine wrapped around his hand, he was in the forest again. Papyrus blinked, and it was gone.

“Don’t you ever listen? I said no.” Flowey said in a suddenly forceful tone. His smile was still plastered on his face, though it was tight and strained. 

“A… ALRIGHT. WE CAN GO.” Papyrus answered, helplessly gazing at the vine. “Great!” Flowey grinned, his voice turning light and cheerful. When Flowey let go, he held his hand tightly to his chest. If he was extra careful to not set Flowey off, maybe he could talk to him and leave without a scratch. 

But wasn’t he done with letting Flowey get away with whatever he wanted? Did he really want things to continue down this path? Why did he call himself ‘The Great Papyrus’ if he was only going to cower in fear at every problem he faced? He was supposed to never give up.

“BUT I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.” Papyrus added determinedly. 

Flowey burrowed under the ground, reappearing a couple seconds later a few feet away. Papyrus followed him. “Of course! First let’s get out of the way… I don’t want anyone to see us. You know what will happen if someone sees us, right?”

The skeleton was silent for a moment, lost in thought. Of course he knew what would happen. It was seared into his mind. If anyone ever saw Flowey and Papyrus together, Flowey would murder them. The idea of this happening kept him up late at night, listening to the chittering calls of the bats and rodents that had been trapped underground along with the monsters.

He wouldn’t let it happen. 

“YES. I… YES. LET’S GO.” Papyrus stuttered out. He never had such trouble talking to his other friends, but whenever he was with Flowey it felt like every word needed to be chosen carefully. If Papyrus tried hard enough, maybe he could get Flowey to stop treating him like some dog. Things would be better soon.

The two monsters disappeared into the forest, leaving behind rusted puzzle pieces and footprints, soon to be swept away by the bitter snow.

—

Alphys was still awake late at night, around four AM. She wasn’t really one to sleep. If Alphys ever did manage to drift off, she was quickly awoken by uncanny and guilt-ridden nightmares of the past. She sat at her desk, watching some pirated anime on her laggy computer. She could’ve watched it on television, but the only one she had was currently in the basement and… Alphys didn’t really feel like going down there at the moment. 

The episode she was watching ended, and the credits rolled. It was no doubt the best episode of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie so far, with ever growing tension, good character development, and higher stakes than any other. Alphys’s claws clacked eagerly against her keyboard, typing “ mmkc free online episode 23” on her web browser. 

She waited with baited breath for her crappy internet to work…

…

…No results.

Alphys put her head in her hands. “Ughh!” she groaned. The internet underground was very limited with its results. It was a miracle she was even able to pull up the other episodes… If she wanted to watch any more she would have to get up, grab her DVDs, walk down to the basement, and insert them into the television. That was way too much work. 

Instead she just leaned back into her chair, sighing. She really hadn’t done anything helpful in her time as The Royal Scientist. The only things she had made were a robot body and horrors beyond comprehension. The families of the amalgamates wouldn’t stop knocking at her door, calling her phone, some even sending her letters.

Alphys could never bring herself to answer. She was a coward, someone too scared to admit to her mistakes, and she knew it.

Alphys sat back up and opened ‘Cameras’ on her computer. It opened up the program and her giant screen clicked on, showing the viewpoint of a camera in Waterfall. It was the same view she got everytime she opened the app. Something about the way the waters flowed, the lush grass waved softly… It was nice to watch. It helped her quiet her mind.

Although that was one of the reasons she was looking at it, she also routinely checked the cameras every morning and night. The last human that had come through the underground managed to dust half the Guard before King Asgore had to stop them himself. Nobody even knew the human had been wandering underground until a day later, when Alphys was randomly flickering through the cameras and found where the missing Guards had gone. Dust.

All those ‘missing’ monsters had turned up dead because of one single human. If she had checked the camera behind that old door, she would’ve seen the human before they became a real threat. Unfortunately, Alphys couldn’t change the past, which was why she was trying to prevent an even more tragic future.

Alphys dragged her eyes away from the screen and reluctantly switched over to the next camera. The rest of the underground wasn’t nearly as pretty as Waterfall. She wished she could live there… with Undyne… 

Alphys blushed, then grimaced. She couldn’t think about such silly fantasies!

Hotland looked the same as always, the usual lasers and vents and flashing lights. Alphys hadn’t actually been outside the lab in a while, but she checked the cameras enough to know that this was how it normally looked.

New Home was… dreary. People said it used to be full of life, but in Alphys’s eyes, she could never see the gray and bleak city as happy. No matter how many monsters lived there, it seemed empty ever since Prince Asriel and Chara passed away. She switched to the next camera, trying not to let the bad memories resurface. The tapes in her basement…

She shook her head, as if it would shake the memory away. Focus. Snowdin. Snowdin was a mixed bag. The snow made it look drab, but the villagers were always lively. The houses were nice too, all of them covered in lights and decorations in an attempt to make the town more friendly. The door at the entrance of Snowdin was still closed, all of the puzzles were working as they should…

Attention span waning, she quickly flickered through the last of the cameras and yawned. Checking the cameras was not exciting as it seemed, especially when everyone was still asleep. Everything was still and boring. Just as she reached the last camera of Snowdin, she saw a flash of motion. 

“Hm…?” Alphys hummed, going back a few cameras. It was a tile puzzle. Papyrus was taking the tiles out one by one. Hadn’t she told him to rest? And what was he doing up so late? She was up late too, but she wasn’t working!

This skeleton was strange. He had lied about his arm for reasons Alphys could only guess. What was up with this monster? 

If she squinted, she could see something peeking out of the ground a few feet away from Papyrus. The video feedback was pixelated and slow, but she swore it was… a flower? In Snowdin? She zoomed in on the yellow spot. 

Was that a…? Alphys blinked and squinted, adjusting her glasses. Was she seeing this right?

There it was, a flower with a smiling face, reaching a vine out to Papyrus. 

There was no such thing as a flower monster. But this flower, it was talking and moving and breathing. And its smile was awfully familiar. Why was it so…?

Alphys gasped in realization, covering her mouth with her hands. There was no way a flower could work like this. It was impossible for it to be moving on its own. Unless… Unless this was the buttercup she had injected with DT. Her flower experiment was alive.

For a small moment, she was excited. She rapidly tapped her feet against the floor, smiling. This was amazing! Her experiment had actually worked, and it seemed to be conscious too! She would have to collect it and run some tests on it, see how its magic works, maybe see if it formed a soul and—

Wait. No. She wasn’t thinking straight. If this test subject was anything like the amalgamates, it needed to be protected. It was dangerous for it to be out in the open as it was. Anything that had DT was either incredibly dangerous, or everything was incredibly dangerous to it.

Seeing as it was a small flower, she had to guess that it was the latter. Alphys couldn’t let her creation run off to die in the biting cold of Snowdin. Standing up, she walked over to the door of the lab. 

If this went well, she might have actually created a working vessel for the human souls. Asgore wouldn’t have to absorb them and turn into a beast! Or, if things went even better, she might have created a brand new soul entirely. Asgore would be so happy! And Undyne would be so proud!

Alphys beamed before quickly frowning. She shouldn’t get her hopes up just yet. She walked out the door, mind racing and soul beating fast. Maybe after this, she could finish Mew Mew Kissy Cutie… but right now, she had work to do.

—

The clearing was somehow terrifying now. Every noise sounded ten times louder than it actually was. A stick he stepped on made a loud ‘crack’ and Papyrus flinched at the deafening noise. As he stepped forward, tree limbs creaked beneath his feet. It sounded more like an earthquake. 

Papyrus was very well aware that he was shaking, but everytime he tried to stop himself, his trembling only worsened. His soul pounded in his chest, as if it were a panicked bird clawing against its birdcage. He needed to keep a clear head for this to work, but unfortunately, his body had different ideas. 

Papyrus stood next to Flowey, guarded and tense. 

“So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about, pal?” Flowey asked. Here we go. Papyrus took a deep breath. If only he had planned out what to say beforehand… 

He reached to fiddle with the hems of his scarf, before realizing he had left it at home. Papyrus let his arms hang awkwardly at his side, violently shaking. “I… I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU A- ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP.”

Flowey curled in on himself, his eyebrows scrunched up in a heartbroken expression. “What? You don’t want to be friends anymore?”

Papyrus immediately shook his head, “NO, NO, OF COURSE I WANT TO STAY FRIENDS! IT’S JUST… UM… I KNOW Y- YOU HAVEN’T HAD THE BEST LIFE, SO I’VE GIVEN YOU SOME LENIENCY ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY TO ME… B- BUT I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS PHYSICAL ABUSE!” Papyrus exclaimed, emphasizing his words by gesturing with his hands,  “IT’S HORRIBLY VIOLENT AND I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DO IT! I- I DON’T LIKE THE WAY YOU TREAT ME, AND IF YOU KEEP IT UP I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO… TO NOT BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE! E- EVER! AGAIN! SO… THERE!” Papyrus said with faux confidence, putting his hands on his hips.

Flowey huffed, unfazed by Papyrus’s rant. 

“Oh, Papyrus… We’ve been over this…” he cooed, casually stroking a vine back and forth Papyrus’s shoulder. The vine then gently lifted his head to face Flowey.

“I’m the one in control!” Flowey laughed, swooping a vine over to trip Papyrus. Papyrus’s eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed with sudden courage. He leaped over the vine, then summoned jagged, sharp ended bones that were nothing like the ones he would summon when training with Undyne. They levitated besides him, a threatening aura surrounding them.

“I- I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS, BUT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME NO OTHER CHOICE. I STILL HAVE HOPE FOR YOU, EVEN IF IT’S CERTAINLY WANING.” Papyrus said, a sad smile on his face. He was hopeful. And he was angry. Of course he was angry! When someone had put him through so much pain, it would be hard not to feel absolutely overtaken in wrath. But, still, his morals outweighed his grief and ire. He could never kill Flowey. He could never seriously injure him.

“You still have hope for me? Hee hee! You might think that that makes you ‘kind’ or whatever word you choose to cover up your idiocy, but I think it’s just stupid!” At the last word, Flowey slammed a vine into Papyrus’s chest. Papyrus yelped and fell against the ground, releasing the bone attacks to hit Flowey.

The bones grazed against Flowey’s side, his thin stem making him hard to hit. His vines would be a better target, Papyrus realized. Or, instead of aiming for the vines, maybe he could turn Flowey blue? He jumped to his feet as Flowey summoned magical bullets, all of them aiming right at Papyrus. 

The attacks hit him, burning his arm, neck, and chest with magic. Papyrus hissed at the pain and rubbed his arm before turning to face Flowey once more. 

“THAT’S ENOUGH! S- STOP RIGHT NOW!” Papyrus yelled, leaning back in a defensive stance. Flowey’s grin grew, and a barrage of bullets hit the skeleton from behind. Papyrus almost tripped forward, but caught himself and put out his hand to turn the flower blue. 

Blue colored bones shot up from the ground, going through Flowey. Papyrus reached to grab his soul, beads of sweat rolling down his skull.

It… it wasn't working.

Papyrus’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he flicked his hand up again, causing more blue bones to form around Flowey. 

Nothing happened. 

…What?

Flowey broke into a fit of laughter, doubling over with his stem. “You IDIOT! Golly, no one’s ever tried to turn me blue before! Hee hee, that was priceless… You’re hilarious, Papyrus.” Papyrus lowered his hand, and took a step back. He looked down at his feet, feeling helpless. Was something wrong with his magic? Why hadn’t it worked?

“I…” Papyrus tried to think of something to say, but his mind was coming up empty. Flowey caught on to his confusion, and answered his unspoken question. “If you’re wondering, I don’t have a soul. Gee, as funny as you are, you’re not that smart, are you? Standing up to me and everything. Well, I’m sorry Papyrus, but actions have consequences. Come here.”  

Papyrus took a nervous step forward. 

“Give me your arm. ”

And at that, Papyrus immediately walked backwards until he felt himself collide into one of the trees.

Flowey held a vine out to him. Papyrus froze. Please not again. Please no. Don’t touch my arm please not again not again not 

“I said come here. I will drag you if I have to.” Flowey demanded, growing impatient.

Papyrus began to hyperventilate. His breath was escaping him and refused to come back, causing his horror to grow. It was happening again, and again, he was powerless. He was vulnerable and useless and Flowey was going to break his arm. His hands were violently trembling, out of his control. Tears formed at the corners of his sockets, a stream of pleas pouring out of his mouth.“I- NO, NO, DON’T, NO–”

A vine wrapped shot out and yanked him forward. Panic and instinct taking over, he desperately tried to pull away and let out a hoarse scream. He hit the ground, clawing at the snow wildly. 

Flowey groaned and rolled his eyes. “Stop being such a baby! Get–” Flowey heaved Papyrus towards him. “–over–” Another strong tug. “–here–!” The sound of a stick cracking filled the air, causing Flowey to freeze. Flowey and Papyrus both turned to face the origin of the sound.

And then Papyrus’s soul dropped a million feet down. A trillion feet. Possibly infinitely.

Alphys stood at the entrance of the clearing, staring at the two with wide eyes and quickly typing up a number into her phone. 

For a split second, Flowey seemed genuinely surprised, but then that too-sweet smile was back on his face. “Oh… Isn’t that convenient? Look who decided to join us!”

Alphys tried to reassure Papyrus, “I- It’s- It’s going t- to b- be okay, I- I’m g- going to get he- help, I–...”

Alphys squeaked as a vine reached to grab her phone. Flowey examined the screen, then tossed it to the side. Flowey tutted, “Calling the Royal Guard? Really? You can’t even deal with your own creation yourself?” The phone’s screen cracked on impact, and Papyrus could see Alphys slightly die inside. 

She didn’t respond, and instead backed away. Alphys then turned and tried to run into the forest, but Flowey caught her by her tail and lifted her up before she could get anywhere. Papyrus lifted himself from the snow and ran towards her, but Flowey still had a hold on him and he fell forward again. Papyrus could still hear his own gasps as he tried to breathe. 

He couldn’t let her get hurt he couldn’t let her get hurt he couldn’t

Flowey sighed, “There’s a reason you’re my least favorite. What a coward!”

“I- I- ju- leave hi- him alone.” Alphys stammered, her words barely comprehensible. 

“You were just about to run away and leave him here! Now you want me to leave him alone? Gosh!” Flowey snickered, “The thing is, I have this deal with Papyrus already… The deal was that if anyone else found out about our little friendship, they’d die!” 

“DON’T! FLOWEY, STOP, PLEASE!” Papyrus shrieked, struggling against the vine that imprisoned him. Alphys stayed still, staring at Flowey with the same dumb expression. She looked shell-shocked.

With the power of resetting, Flowey had already killed her several times over when he found out she was the reason he was like this. It wasn’t very satisfying anymore. He knew how it would play out. It seemed too mundane… He needed something more exciting. Flowey silently wished Undyne or even Sans had found Papyrus instead. That would certainly be fascinating to see. But, unfortunately, he was stuck with Alphys.

An idea suddenly struck him, and he beamed. It would be perfect.

“Alphys… I’ll make this fair. How about we fight?” Flowey offered. He had never fought Alphys before, nor seen her magic attacks. He had always killed her on the first try, so it never occurred to him that she might have a different color magic. Plus, it would be interesting to see something new.

“I- I don’t know ho- how t- to fight…!” Alphys quavered, shaking her head. She engineered weapons and defense mechanisms all the time, but her own magic was weak and she was awful at protecting herself. 

Once again, she found that her creations turned out to be horrifying failures. And this time, it was even worse. 

Flowey frowned. “Let me rephrase. Fight me or I’ll kill you.” he said simply. Bullets formed in a circle around Alphys, inches away from her head. She stood motionless, in disbelief, before swiftly nodding her head. Her eyes were glossy with tears. The bullets dissipated. Papyrus could only watch as Flowey smiled manically. 

“You go first.” Flowey told her, excitement and anticipation running through his veins. Alphys, again, nodded meekly and wordlessly, then took a step forward. Would she have yellow magic? He had never seen yellow magic before. He hadn’t seen that many cyan or orange attacks either. Maybe she would have a new color? He watched with bated breath as her hands charged with magic, and then–!

Basic, white, lightning bolt shaped bullets came flying at him. They were small and looked as pathetic as they sounded. He leaned slightly to the side, and they all swooped past his head, crashing into the forest.

He felt hugely disappointed. Flowey expected her to have some special magic type, like Papyrus and Sans and Undyne and literally every other interesting person did. If the Captain of the Guard had special magic, why not The Royal Scientist? Ugh.

Flowey began to mutter, “I was expecting something different… Oh well. My turn.”

Without a moment’s notice, a giant vine smashed into her with a sickening snap, and both she and Papyrus screamed as she collapsed. She tried to summon her magic, but the glow in her hands weakly flickered until it faded entirely. Flowey took this to mean that it was his turn again.

He slammed another vine into her already dusty body, slashing it across her chest. Papyrus was shouting something, but Flowey wasn’t really interested in what he had to say. Alphys tried to lift her hand, but all it did was twitch. Another vine went down. Then another. Then another. Another, still.

It was hard to keep in control when he knew that disgusting face in front of him was the same one who revived him to live a life of torture. If anything, she deserved this. He tried to ignore the screaming. She deserved this. 

Then, he felt something tear through one of his vines. Flowey snarled in pain and quickly faced the source of the aching. Papyrus was trying to rip off the vine that was holding him down. “ST- STOP!! DON- DON’T KILL HER! PLEASE, PLEASE, STOP, PLEASE–!”

Flowey didn’t see the point in not killing her. She was already half-dead anyway. With such little will to live, she was easy to kill. But… there might be something much better than killing her… Another wonderful idea came to him. Why had he never tried these things before? Had he really gotten all the endings so far, or was he just so stupid he couldn’t think of anything new to do?

“You know what… I won’t kill her, Papyrus.” Flowey announced. 

“I… REALLY?” Papyrus asked doubtfully.

“Of course.” Flowey answered. Papyrus looked absolutely relieved, and stopped scratching at the vine as it let go of him. He let out a shuddering sigh of appreciation,“THANK YOU, FLOWEY. THANK YOU. I’M SO, SO GLAD THAT YOU…”

“I’m not going to kill her because you’re going to do it.”

Papyrus’s face fell. Flowey pushed him until he was right in front of Alphys. The skeleton was too surprised to resist the shoving, and he gaped at the sight of The Royal Scientist.

Dust was leaking out of her mouth and nose, and her head was bent far too backwards than Papyrus would’ve liked. Her arms were smushed against her torso from the pressure of the hits, and one of her legs was completely disfigured. The remains of Alphys’s glasses lay next to her, only bits of glass and metal surviving. Her chest was ever so slowly rising and falling, and her soul was still faintly beating. 

Alphys, meanwhile, was filled with unbearable agony. Any slight touch felt like thousands of tiny swords poking at her scales, centimeters away from sinking deep into her skin. Despite how much she wished to scream, she didn’t even have enough strength left to whisper. Her eyes were half-open, but everything was so blurry that she couldn’t make out anything.

Papyrus stared at her in silence. This was all his fault.

“Do it.” Flowey prompted.

“...no.” Papyrus whispered, his voice as quiet as one’s breath. “What was that?” Flowey taunted, having very well heard him. The flower summoned bullets around Alphys and they struck her one by one. 

Alphys whimpered in pain, tears rolling down her face. 

“Kill her!” Flowey yelled, his face distorting into something demonic, “Or I’ll kill her as slowly as I can! Just imagine it, Papyrus. Do you want your friend to be in pain?” 

Alphys shuddered. She would rather die than be put through that torture all over again. She couldn’t take much more. If Papyrus didn’t kill her, she’d die from her wounds anyway. 

She abruptly remembered Sans telling her Papyrus had suddenly froze up. She had been wrong about it being a panic or anxiety attack. Now, she realized it was a freeze response caused by trauma. And now she knew the traumas he had been enduring.

“N- NO I DON’T! I’M NOT DOING IT! NO!” Papyrus shouted. 

“Alright! If you say so!” Flowey laughed, throwing another round of bullets at Alphys. This time, they managed to chip at some of her scales. “Remember, all this pain she’s feeling is your fault. You can stop her suffering any time you’d like!” Flowey reminded him.

Papyrus let out a guttural sob, violently shaking his head as he covered his face with his hands. This was all just a bad dream. He would wake up and tell Sans how lazy he was, then go out and fix his puzzles and train with Undyne. This wasn’t real. This was some messed up nightmare. A dream. Not real. Not real. Not real.

“No? Again?” Flowey created more bullets. “It’s as if you want her to feel horrible… You’re just as awful as me!” Papyrus couldn’t bear to watch anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the sound of magic against skin.

Alphys felt like she was burning alive. A rotten fire was encasing her soul, charring it black and ugly. It was like she had fallen into a fit of lava, the waves of fire lapping at her bruised arms, legs, and face. All that left her mouth was a choking sound. She wanted to die. She needed to die. It was too much.

“I CAN’T! I C- CAN’T DO IT!” he wailed. Flowey giggled, about to create more attacks, when suddenly Alphys weakly lifted her head. 

“J- just… k.. kill m- me… already…” she sniveled, her head falling back to the ground as soon as she raised it. 

Flowey grinned, “See? She wants to die, Papyrus. Give her what she wants.”

“...p- please… I c- can’t…”

Papyrus looked his friend in the eyes as she begged him to kill her, then glanced back at Flowey. “NO… NO, NO… I…”

“DO IT!” Flowey shouted, his patience gone out the window.

“..d- do it… let me die…” Alphys cried, voice cracking, her body shaking with sobs.

“STOP! STOP SAYING THAT! STOP!” Papyrus screamed in frustration and grief, stomping his feet like a child throwing a tantrum. 

Alphys reached a clawed hand out to him, “P- Papyrus, it’s t- too much…” There was pure, wild desperation in her eyes and in her words. Papyrus had never seen someone who wanted to die so badly. “…please…”

Papyrus, with wide eyes, staggered backwards. He took a trembling breath, and with tears streaming down his face, sent a bone flying right into Alphys’s soul.

He hadn’t even realized what he had done until he felt a rush of strength and saw dust spread across the snowy floor. 

For a long time, there was silence. Flowey’s mouth was moving, and he should’ve heard the rustling of leaves on the trees above, or the calls of forest animals, but all that reached him was silence.

Utter silence. 

Almost dream-like, Papyrus walked up to the dust and kneeled. 

Behind him, Flowey was talking. Papyrus could barely hear what he was saying. 

“Gr…t… Pa…rus! I knew y… c… do…! Let th…s be… lesson, …iend. I……ou try getting help, there will b… pro…ms.  So don’t tr… it.   I’ll see …ou later!”

Flowey was gone. Papyrus couldn’t manage to feel anything about it. He felt… empty. 

He put a finger to the dust to make sure it was real. It felt smooth against his gloves. It felt cold and real and horrifying. He whimpered. 

Papyrus looked at what used to be his friend, and let out a hoarse scream that echoed through the forest. He broke into loud bawling, his crying more akin to screaming than anything else. He shoved his hands into the dust, uselessly pouring all his healing magic into it. 

It was no use. He kept trying anyway. “ALPHYS!” Papyrus cried, dust seeping through his gloves. He let go of the powder, miserably crying into his knees. He couldn’t stop the tremors running through his body, or the sobs that escaped his throat. He had killed her. He had killed her.

It felt like his anguish lasted hours. The monsters of Snowdin had to be awake by now, opening their shops and restaurants. And he was still in the forest, crying next to a pile of dust. 

Alphys couldn’t be dead. Someone could help her. This could all be fixed. He could still fix this. This was… He had to… He had to get help.

He gathered as much dust as he could with his hands, and struggled to stand up. Papyrus ran out of the clearing and off the path, not caring which way he went as long as he ended up in Snowdin. His foot caught on a rock, and he tripped forward, spilling a considerable amount of dust to the ground. He kept running. He kept going.

Finally, finally, the forest ended. A shop stood nearby, emitting the pleasant scent of fresh food. He rushed to the door and almost reached to twist the handle, before realizing his hands were full. Papyrus kicked the door open, shouting. Everyone turned to look at him.

“H- HELP! HELP, PLEASE,” he broke into a keen, “I- I DON’T–”

The shopkeeper, a purple bunny, ran towards him, grabbing a jar off the shelf. A small, panicked crowd was gathering around him, and she pushed through them. “Oh… Oh dear. Someone needs to call the Royal Guard.”

“I’ll do it,” a mouse monster said, pulling out their phone.

“Who is that?” she asked, examining the dust in his hands, “What in heaven’s name…? Do you need me to call someone? Here…” the shopkeeper reached to put the dust in the jar, but Papyrus flinched away, still quivering.

The shopkeeper looked conflicted. “Oh, hun. Please, I’m trying to help. Let me have it before it stains those pretty gloves of yours.”

Papyrus hesitantly gave her the dust, silently choking back wails. She gently scooped it up and put it into the jar, sighing. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. Who’s dust is this? Do you need me to go get someone?” she repeated her earlier questions.

“I- I’M SORRY! IT– ALPHYS– I- I- I WANT SAAANS!” he howled, too upset to care about how embarrassed he’d feel later. He closed his eyes, wanting to disappear. Everyone in the store was now buzzing with interest.

“A- Alphys? The Royal Scientist?” the shopkeeper stuttered. 

The mouse from earlier put a hand on the shopkeeper’s shoulder. “The Royal Guard is on its way,” they said.

The shopkeeper nodded in acknowledgement, but still seemed surprised. “Did she fall down? Is there another human? I… I’ll call your brother. Excuse me, hun.” She grabbed her phone, realizing she had no idea what Sans’s number was. Not wanting to bother the clearly distressed Papyrus, she asked the red bird standing next to her.

“How do you not know his number? Even I got his number, and I don’t get anyone’s number…” the bird grumbled, typing it into her phone. She put the phone to her ear, waiting for the other to pick up. The phone beeped. 

“uhh… hello?” the monster on the other end said, sounding like he had just woken up.

“Hello, uh, I’m QC, the shopkeeper at the entrance of Snowdin and—”

“oh. sorry, lady. i’m not interested in anyone right now.” Sans replied jokingly, and QC scowled. 

“This is serious.” QC growled.

Sans snickered, “serious? eh, if you want a serious relationship, i’m not—”

“Mister, your brother just entered my shop carrying a pile of dust and crying for you. Don’t ‘lady’ me either. I said my name, didn’t I? Come to my shop as soon as you can. The Royal Guard is already on its way.” QC shot at him. She didn’t have time for this ridiculousness when there was a crisis going on.

“...got it.”

He hung up. QC turned around and out her phone back in her pocket, jumping back at the sight of Sans. 

“How…?! How did you get here so fast?” she yelped in surprise.

“i took a shortcut. besides, you said to get here as soon as i could.” he answered casually. He noticed she was carrying a jar of dust. “what’s going on? is there a human or something?”

“We don’t know.” QC sighed, eyes downcast. “You really should comfort your brother, though. He’s been through something rough. He’s right over there.” she pointed over to Papyrus, who was slumped over on the ground. 

Sans’s eyelights shrinked and he sped over to his brother. “...papyrus?”

“S- SANS!” Papyrus shouted, burying himself into Sans’s shirt and clinging to his arm. Sans watched, confused and worried, as Papyrus sobbed into him. “bro…? are you..?”

“I C- C– I CAN’T DO THIS, SANS! I C- CAN’T DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS SO BAD AND I JUST WANT IT ALL TO STOP!” Papyrus cried, his grip on Sans tightening. 

Sans struggled to comfort his brother, “hey, it– it’s alright. it’s… everything’s going to be fine, okay? it’s—”

The doors to the shop burst open, and Undyne marched in fiercely.

“What the hell is going on!?” she growled, “I got a call saying there was an extreme emergency, but they didn’t freaking tell me what!”

“O- oh… s- sorry, Undyne…” the mouse that had been the one to call her stammered. 

QC stepped up, “That young man over there,” she gestured towards Papyrus, “came in carrying what he said was the Royal Scientist’s dust.”

Undyne glanced at Papyrus, then glanced at QC. “...Alphys? What?” she asked, breathless. “You’re joking.” Undyne said with a nervous smile. QC didn’t respond, just sadly looked away. “No, you’re joking,” Undyne repeated, as if trying to convince herself the jar in QC’s arms wasn’t real. QC stayed quiet. 

Undyne stomped over to Papyrus and Sans, the smaller skeleton still trying to console his brother. 

“Papyrus, what the fuck happened?” she asked, clearly pissed. 

Sans stood defensively in front of his brother. “hey, he’s not feeling too great right now. maybe you can ask him some other ti—”

“ALPHYS IS DEAD!” Papyrus shouted, starting to cry again. “SHE’S DEAD AND IT’S ALL MY FAULT!”

“bro, it’s not your fault. you didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” Sans reassured him. 

Undyne gaped for a second, dumbstruck. She quickly regained herself, seeming even angrier. “What the fuck do you mean it’s your fault? Were you there? Who’s the bastard that did this?!” 

“it’s fine, undyne, we’ll find out what happened. papyrus needs rest.” Sans said, not wanting to deal with an angry Undyne. 

“I need to know NOW! I’M GOING TO MURDER WHOEVER FUCKING DID THIS!” Undyne roared, her voice leaking of heartbreak and fury.

“good for you. go ahead and murder them. leave me and papyrus alone.” Sans grabbed Papyrus’s hand, and they walked out of the store. 

Papyrus leaned on his brother, still sniffing. He wanted to go home and pretend nothing happened. He wanted to sleep and never wake up.

He wanted his scarf. 

…And everything seemed so far away.

Chapter Text

Papyrus couldn’t get out of bed. For the past few days, he had been glued to his mattress. Everytime he tried to lift himself, pull the covers off, and roll out of his warm prison, he would eventually slump back down. He couldn’t face what he had done. He would rather not get up. Ever.

Sans was worried. Papyrus normally was never in bed, always busy with some activity. Just the other day he had been begging Sans to let him go outside and do something. He guessed this depression was to be expected with the death of Alphys. He knew that Papyrus and Alphys didn’t talk much, but Papyrus had witnessed her death firsthand and was extremely distressed because of it. 

…Sans couldn’t say that her passing hadn’t affected him either. He tried not to think about their old friendship, their days working together in the lab. It hurt to think about. It hurt.

The smaller skeleton nervously knocked on Papyrus’s door with one skeletal hand, the other one holding a plate of food. 

“COME IN.” Papyrus answered sluggishly. Sans opened the door, stepping inside to see Papyrus facing away from him, wrapped in blankets.

“i got some lunch for you, bro. just a sandwich and some chips. and i went by to grillby’s… he gave me a free cup of hot chocolate to give to you. i know that’s your favorite.” Sans told him, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“...OK.” Papyrus responded softly, not bothering to look at his brother.

“...could you sit up to eat…?” Sans asked.

“OK.” said Papyrus. Sans waited a couple seconds for his brother to move. 

…

“uh... you’re not sitting up.”

Papyrus groaned and, at a snail’s pace, slowly shifted to a sitting position. Just that alone looked like it had zapped away all of his energy. Although he had been in bed for the past few days, it looked like he hadn’t slept a wink. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he was hugging a dirty scarf close to his chest. Had Papyrus showered at all these past few days…?

“woah.” Sans gasped, before realizing he was being rude. “uh, i mean, you look really tired.”

“THANKS.” Papyrus replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 

“you like that scarf, huh?” Sans smiled, “you’re hugging it like it’s your baby or something.”

Papyrus looked down at the scarf in his arms. Yes, it was a very special scarf. It was the finishing touch to his battle body. If he had had it when picking up Alphys’s dust, maybe he could’ve used the scarf to hold it instead of his hands—...

He shut that train of thought down before it could go anywhere. 

Even though the once dusty gloves had already been washed at least three times by Sans, Papyrus couldn’t touch them. He couldn’t even look at them. But his gloves weren’t completely the problem, it was his hands that were a mess. 

The feeling of dust and dirt on his hands wouldn’t go away. The feeling of dirt stuck to him, and he couldn’t get rid of it no matter what he did. At a certain point he almost got up from his bed to wash them, but decided it wasn’t worth all the effort. But, dear god, his hands. It felt like there was dust inside of them, like everything he touched was spreading the small particles around. Papyrus had tried to get the dust off himself by scratching it away, but all it did was leave small marks. At least the scratches distracted from the feeling of disgust.

…He felt so selfish. He was concerned about his hands when he had murdered someone. Alphys had a life, had a place in the world, and he took it away. How had Alphys even found out about Papyrus and Flowey? What was she doing in Snowdin? 

Papyrus should’ve done better to make sure nobody knew. He should’ve let Flowey break his arm, or at least try harder to fight against him. 

It was his fault Alphys was dead. He had felt himself grow stronger after she turned to dust, the buzz of energy. The same buzz that was rumored humans felt after killing. Why was he so naive? Why had he ever befriended Flowey? Why was he such an idiot to believe for a second that Flowey really would spare Alphys? And… Why didn’t Papyrus save her?

He had always wanted to be a hero.

…It was too late for that now.

He felt his eyes begin to water, and he quickly shut them before Sans could see. Too bad for Papyrus, Sans saw what was happening right away. His brother set the plate of food down on the bedside table and walked over to Papyrus. He usually cheered Papyrus up by telling jokes, but this was a different type of sadness. This couldn’t be fixed with puns like normal. This was serious. 

“papyrus…” Sans muttered under his breath before speaking out loud. “papyrus, look at me.” Papyrus did as he was told, opening his teary eyes in shame. “listen,” Sans said firmly, “whoever killed her, the royal guard’ll find ‘em. it’s okay. it’s not your fault.”

The last sentence had the exact opposite effect than what Sans had wanted. Papyrus burst into tears, hiding his face behind his scarf as an attempt to cover his patheticness. Flowey would be ashamed of him for being such a crybaby. 

“IT– IT IS MY FAULT, SANS! I HATE THIS! I HATE BEING LIKE THIS!” Papyrus wept. He was a murderer. He was a liar. 

His sadness slowly morphed into… something else. And very quickly he realized what it was.

He was so… so ANGRY at himself. He wished Flowey had killed him instead of Alphys, he wished he had ripped Flowey’s vine off or sent an attack to cut his stem, he wished he could’ve done anything, anything at all instead of just watching. He clawed at his skull, trying to somehow control his emotions before he could embarrass himself further. He could feel his fingers scrape against his head, and he almost stopped at the reminder of Flowey’s hold on him, before he pressed down ever harder. He deserved it. He failed at protecting Alphys. This was his punishment.

Sans gently pulled Papyrus’s hands away from his skull. 

“uh... ah, gee…”  Sans rubbed his neck, fumbling for words. “it’s… it’s going to get better, alright? what you witnessed was horrible and anyone who sees stuff like that doesn’t recover immediately. it’s normal to feel awful, and it’s normal to hate feeling awful.”

“I COULD’VE STOPPED IT.” Papyrus said quietly. “it’s not good to think about it like that, bro. we can’t change what happened. right now our main focus should be finding out what happened… if you’re ready to tell undyne.” Sans hesitated before mentioning Undyne.

She had been knocking on their door everyday since Alphys’s died, asking if Papyrus was ready to be questioned. And, everyday, Papyrus declined. Undyne respected his decisions, but she was clearly getting more and more irritated with him as the days rolled by. 

Papyrus shook his head, “N… NO. I’M NOT READY YET.” In truth, he would’ve told Undyne if he could. But Flowey had proved that he didn’t just spout empty threats. Flowey would hurt whoever found out, and whoever Papyrus told. 

…Alphys didn’t deserve to go…

“...you’ll have to tell her eventually, bud. but for now you need rest. here’s your food.” Sans handed Papyrus his food and hot chocolate, then sat on the bed beside his brother. Papyrus stared at it. The hot chocolate was still warm, steam rising from the cup. There were little marshmallows bobbing up and down in the liquid, and Papyrus could smell the peppery, woody scent of cinnamon that had been sprinkled in as well. It looked good, so why did it seem so… unappetizing?

The sandwich and chips seemed equally as unappealing. Normally, Papyrus would love a cup of Grillby’s hot chocolate, but right now… Right now, it made his non-existent stomach churn. 

Papyrus looked over at his brother. Sans would certainly be disappointed if he didn’t eat. But… 

“SANS. I’M… I’M REALLY NOT ALL THAT HUNGR—!” But before he could finish speaking, there were several loud bangs against the door. Sans let out an exhausted sigh. 

Judging from how the knocking was more like violent pounding, the person at the door was probably Undyne. “i’ll go get it, bro.” Sans told him, as if expecting Papyrus would get out of bed for the first time in days and happily greet Undyne. Papyrus almost laughed. 

Sans left the room, and after a minute, he could hear a muffled conversation. They had awfully thin walls, didn’t they? Papyrus set his plate down on the table next to him. He sunk as far down into the bed as it would let him.

Minutes passed. Had Undyne still not left? Usually she would’ve been gone by now, and Sans would be back upstairs with Papyrus. Then, as the shouting reached him, Papyrus realized what was happening. He could almost make out all the words.

“... SIX days….. done waiting! I’m……….Royal Guard, and if he’s not……….have……drag him in.” The louder, rougher voice sounded like it belonged to Undyne.

“.................something traumatic…..can’t expect him……….. gladly recall everything……” Papyrus could easily recognize his brother’s voice.

“Then make him. He can’t……….this……...forever. Got it? ”

There was a long period of silence, where Papyrus could hear only the hum of their cheap air conditioning and the hush of wind from outside.

“i... alphys wouldn’t want this.”

“You…” Undyne sounded shocked. Then, out of nowhere, Undyne’s voice ripped through the walls. “ YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT ALPHYS WOULD’VE WANTED!” 

Papyrus covered his face with the blanket, trying to subdue the sounds. After that, it was just more and more yelling. It felt like it would never stop. Soon after, he heard the door slam shut, and the sound of someone going up the creaky staircase. 

Sans opened the door to his room.

“so…” Sans trailed off. Papyrus didn’t answer. 

There was nothing to say.

--

The only reason he had gotten out of bed was to clean his scarf. In his eyes, it was the only part of him that had remained pure and unspoiled. He couldn’t let it grow grimy and rotten like he had carelessly done with the rest of his life. He had let himself corrupt and rot without even bothering to try and stop it. He was disgusting.

Sans seemed happy about him washing it. His brother was most likely tired of having to be the responsible one. Papyrus should get back to a normal schedule, instead of feeling sorry for himself. Being in bed all day was selfish, and he was already selfish enough.

Nobody had found out what he’d done yet. Still, paranoia shivered through him. He was an idiot.

After he was done, he hung the scarf up to dry and slumped over on the couch. The couch was stiff and uncomfortable, like always. It also made… a jangling sound when he sat down…? Hadn’t he told Sans to stop putting coins in between the cushions? 

He didn’t really care at this point.

Papyrus leaned back. He was so tired. He was so tired and he couldn’t fall asleep at all. The dreamless sleep that he did manage to get (usually a couple hours every few days) left him feeling even more exhausted whenever he woke up. 

He felt like crying. A feeling that was definitely not new. Papyrus cringed; Sans had had to put up with him being so… emotional. He had been leaning on Sans for support, but what if he was too heavy? What if his emotions were too much?

If he hadn’t been overwhelmed and had managed to pull himself together, Alphys wouldn’t be dead. Sans wouldn’t be so closed off about his feelings. Undyne wouldn’t be so angry. Papyrus wouldn’t be such an awful, awful person…

And at that thought, tears welled in his eyes. He wiped them away with his shirt, but he couldn’t stop more from forming. 

Stop! He tried to blink them away, but his desperation to stop the tears from falling only led him to letting out a quiet cry.

They watch a movie, flowey knocks on window

Prologue-- pap meets flowey 

Chp 1– flowey breaks paps arm, paps is sick from stress, visits dr alphys and she realizes she hadn’t seen papyrus on her cameras

Chp 2– Undyne and sans baby papyrus, paps goes for lesson w undyne but she tells him to go home. Papyrus meets w flowey in clearing instead, papyrus gets home late, him and sans argue

Chp 3– next day, early morning, sans is asleep so papyrus sneaks out. Papyrus calibrates his puzzles before flowey gets annoyed and tells him to go to their meeting spot. He meets w flowey, flowey hurts him and alphys watches from her cameras and runs out to save him. Flowey kills her, papyrus screams for help, lies about her death

Chp 4– gets very depressed for a few days before meeting w flowey. Undyne wants to ask him questions but sans shoos her away. He sneaks into her lab (advice from flowey) and deletes footage. He then returns home and cooks dinner for sans. Next week, alphys’ funeral. Flowey convinces (forces) papyrus to sneak away from the service and papyrus talks to flowey, finally figures out hes asriel. Flowey gets very angry and kills him, then resets to the beginning of their convo, and paps goes back to the service like nothing happened. 

Chp 5– sans talks to papyrus about his feelings. Guards come to door and give sans a letter saying he inherits things from alphys. inherits things from alphys and has to go to her lab to get it. Its the determination extractor and a letter. Gets curious about her death but can’t find footage. checks out the footage in ‘trash’ folder on her computer since it was missing where she died. Thinks that papyrus and some flower killed her. sans confronts papyrus and undyne overhears, assumes paps killed her. Papyrus thinks he did kill her so he tells them he killed her. Papyrus runs away to a cliff. 

Chp 6– papyrus almost ykw but flowey finds him first and tortures him for letting sans find the footage. meanwhile sans tries to convince undyne that paps didnt kill alphys and not to arrest him, so they go back to the lab and look through her computer. They find unread files where papyrus is being hurt by flowey and freak out. They go to find flowey. flowey hurts papyrus, but sans and undyne show up. Flowey traps sans and undyne and hurts them in front of papyrus. He tries to get papyrus to kill them like he did alphys. Papyrus almost does but stands up for himself and fights back. sans, paps, and undyne beat the ever living crap out of flowey but he is overpowered. They kill him by throwing him in the spike puzzle but he resets over and over until Sans grabs everyone and teleports them to the determination extractor. Papyrus uses blue magic to keep him down and sans extracts the determination. Papyrus tells ‘asriel’ goodbye and passes out.

Chp 7– epilogue. Papyrus is taken care of, and buries flowey in new home.