Work Text:
I don't even know why I'm doing it, but something inside me says it's worth it. then I start to think this is for you, and the worth becomes more clearer onto my heart.
I'm not as good as you are at writing all type of poetries, or just letters like the ones you dedicate just for me, but now it's my turn. or at least I'll try.
as i put as soon as I touch the paper with the tip of the pen, I can't think of what to write from all the things that come to mind if I think of you. such as your sparkling eyes. I think they are the most vivid and intense blue that I have probably ever seen on anyone else.. the light that they can express on their own, letting the words simply come out of them.
What always amazes me is how no one can actually read your emotions through your eyes, unless you're not holding back the feeling of the moment, but even then, I, instead can always figure out if you're sad, angry or happy. And when you're happy, I feel my heart dancing against my chest, flickering in a good way.
Your smile in the morning, after some stupid or more serious argument, after a mission or maybe after a bad day and annoyed, somehow only you can make me smile back again. as if the clouds dissipated after a long day of rain, and at sunset the sun came out with all the gold it has to offer, lighting up the sky again.
and i love when you smile at me, highlighting your thin lips and showing off your low dimples, emphasizing the crease on your chin and tightening the soft wrinkles at the sides of your eyes. not to mention your stars freckles that pop up after a day in the sun, turning more noticeable under the light redness on your cheeks. I could stand all day in front of your face, and count them to the last, but I probably wouldn't finish in a day.
and with your beautiful cottony curls.. auburn-red and no more gel-rigid hair that compliment your person. like they were made for you. your face dull sometimes when no one watching, but around others you're like the light that everyone had needed after a long day. illuminating my future like you can't even imagine by just being you with me. the perfect yin to my yang everyday.
your hards and callused hands, but even soft, brushing against my cheeks always wake up the butterflies on my stomach, and even though all this years together, you never end to amaze me. from your gentle touch to yours always right words, your perfectly chosen gift, your never ending care and your warm presence. your eyes speaking your love for me without not even having to say it
and I'm sincerely glad you really understood that you are the best you. that you are worth it all. am so proud of what you have become to this days.
although we had not seen each other for a whole year to search Wu, I was waiting for nothing more than the moment when I would return to your arms back again. seeing you so changed in a healthy way, finally blooming with your true beautiful personality. not strained nor hidden, expanded to also outside your body, it felt like i was having the same chills under the rain during a storm. in a real good way.
I know, it will seem quite strange to read a letter made by me, when I may be the least cheesy person you know, but I could get used to it. It seems liberating to write them actually. Now I understand you. (but don't tell anyone, I must still look like the one that kicks ass)
But going back to everything I was saying writing, I couldn't see another person other than you by my side.
Kai was the only person who could make me feel better back then, but as i had the fortune to know you i felt like a better person. learning to open myself more, trust people and not be afraid of the person I really am, and I'm still feeling so lucky and grateful to have you here.
I grew up with you, I discovered true love with you and I hope one day to grow old together, see our hair change to gray, notice the first wrinkles on my face and feel your consoling hands on them.
i still wan wish we had more time, and that we almost seems to never get a break, cause most times feels like this, and I'm actually really scared if i think about one day you could be gone for good, but life it's also made this way... I'll only hope that that days will be more far away than our future, we still have so much time to spend.
but just being with you, spending our days together, even if they could be dangerous, sad, boring or extraordinary, it's enough for me that you are here with me.
I love you Jay Walker, I'm the best me when I'm with you by my side and I couldn't ask for anything better. I'll search for you in every life, i promise.