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Wanda jumped awake from a nightmare. Panic had built in her chest and she was having trouble breathing. She gasped for air as she tried to recall where she was. The guest bedroom in Clint and Laura's home. In her bed. Not in Wakanda, destroying Vision. Not in Sokovia, watching Pietro die. She wiped the tears from her face and took a shallow breath. Wanda held a hand on her ribs and exhaled slowly. The panic started to slowy subside and she continued to inhale and exhale slowly. Wanda looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. The glowing green display read 5:12 am. She shakily got out of bed and walked into the adjoined bathroom. She flipped on the light and walked over to the sink. Wanda steadied herself against the sink and rubbed her chest. Her lungs felt as though they were on fire. She washed her face and sighed.
"You are ok." She told her reflection.
"I am ok." She told herself.
The sun hadn't risen yet. Wanda changed into a pair of jeans and grabbed a cardigan. She quietly snuck downstairs, making sure to not wake any of the Bartons. Even after 6 months here, she still was afraid of being a bother. She grabbed her boots and slipped out the front door. The early morning air was chilly and filled with the chirping of crickets. Wanda made her way towards the barn. She poked her head in to see if Clint was inside. Most of the time he'd wake up early and do farm chores or practice shooting. The barn was empty, save for a stray hen, that Clint couldn't ever get to go into a coop. Wanda continued walking until she got to the field. The sun had started to peek above the tree line as Wanda sat down.
The sun had barely creeped above the trees when Wanda was joined by Clint. "Hey kid." He greeted. He groaned as he sat down next to her. "Gah, I'm old." He muttered under his breath. Wanda smiled a bit. The Avenger complains quite frequently about his age. "What are you doing up so early?" He asked. Wanda looked at the ground, not trusting herself to answer without her voice breaking.
"Ah." Clint nodded. "Nightmare?" He prompted. Wanda nodded. "Which one?" Wanda kept her gaze on the ground. "Both. Wakanda and Sokovia." Her voice wavered. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently.
"I-I don't know. I thought the nightmares were done." Wanda looked over at Clint. He waited for her to continue.
"They hadn't happened for a while but then tonight...I don't know how to stop reliving those moments. I can ignore them during the day, but at night. The memories come for me at night, every time I close my eyes I wonder if I will relive another one.." tears welled in Wanda's eyes.
"Its crystal clear everytime. Every detail. Every time I am reminded that I...I failed them. I couldn't keep them alive." Wanda's voice broke and the tears rolled down her cheeks. "Why does i-it still hurt so much?" She turned to Clint, who had tears in his eyes as well. He pulled her into a hug and she buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed. "Everyone says as long as I remember they are not really dead, but I do not want to remember. Not like this." She sobbed. "Not when I can still see Vision as time replayed and his life was ripped from him." Her voice shook. Clint rubbed her back as she cried.
Wanda's sobs subsided into hiccups and she pulled away. "I am sorry." She said as she wiped her face. "For what being human? Hey, I get it." Clint spoke softly. He put a hand on Wanda's shoulder. "It's better to talk to someone about it. Me and Laura will always be here for you, okay?" Tears formed in Wanda's eyes again as she nodded.
"Aw, c'mere kid." Clint pulled her into another hug. Wanda hugged back and tried to blink the newest wave of tears. Wanda pulled away gently. "Thank you." She whispered softly. "Don't mention it." He whispered back.
Clint stood. "Alright. C'mon. Laur is probably awake by now and about to go on a full scale search for us." Wanda took his hand and hauled herself up. "Which is fair. I once went off on a mission and forgot to tell her. Needless to say, I slept on the couch for a year after that." He continued. Wanda chuckled softly. Clint slung an arm around her shoulder and they made their way back to the house.