Work Text:
The smell of cake and a warm smile by his side. That was more than Rei could ask for after his ungrateful evening.
“Let’s take a look at your arm”, he heard, and nodded absently, still trying to process everything that happened to him that day. When Kazuki realized that he wouldn’t be moving anytime soon, he grabbed his elbow and dragged him to the bathroom. When he entered, he hung his jacket on a hook behind the door and sat on the toilet lid while the other man rummaged through the first aid kit. Although he could patch up his wounds on his own, he knew that this was a lost battle. So he just let Kazuki clean the cut and apply an antibacterial cream before bandaging his arm.
“You should throw that shirt away, it’s no use to keep it”, said Kazuki, and he agreed. The shirt had a long cut on the arm and was stained with blood. He walked to his room to change while the blonde headed back into the living room to try to convince Miri to join them at the table. When he went back down to the first floor, he saw that Kazuki’s efforts had been in vain, so he tried to wake her himself, if only to annoy the other man. He crouched down next to the girl and lured her with the promise of pizza and hamburgers. That seemed to be the spell. The girl opened her sleepy eyes and dragged her little feet all the way to the table, muttering some intelligible words about how yummy the food was. Rei's smug smile of victory was drowned out by Kazuki's laughter seconds later as they watched their daughter fall asleep with a bite of pizza still in her mouth.
Rei lifted her into his arms with infinite care as Kazuki took off her birthday hat and both walked to the second floor to get her ready to sleep, the celebration momentarily forgotten. They had their priorities, and taking care of their daughter was number one for both of them. Furthermore, even if none of them had said anything about it, there was a conversation hanging in the air, and it was wiser to not talk about it near a kid’s ears. He held the child in his arms while Kazuki brushed her teeth, and moved the sheets on the bed after the other man put the girl in her pajamas. He was still new to the routine of getting Miri ready for bed, but he had promised to get more involved and he was going to keep his word. The girl was also his daughter, after all, and he needed to learn how to care for her properly. The sight of the girl sleeping peacefully in her bed broke something inside Rei’s chest, and he felt soft. “I have something worth protecting”, he had said that night, and there she was in all her chaotic splendor. The other man's smile said that she was his something too.
“Cake?” Kazuki murmured next to him.
“Cake”, he replied, as he closed the door.
The cake in question was soft and sweet, and the strawberries had just the right bit of acid to heighten the contrast without ruining it. Kazuki kept himself busy making a pot of coffee for the two of them. “It's the recipe that I used for the Christmas cake”, he commented, pressing some buttons, “I thought that Miri would love it if the first birthday cake that she ate at our home was the same,” he continued cheerfully. “Do you like it?”.
Then it hits Rei that, although it was the first birthday cake that Miri had eaten in the apartment, it was not the first birthday the girl had spent with them. That had been Kazuki’s, months ago, but then there was no cake nor celebration. Well, Miri gave him a drawing of them hugging and sang him happy birthday, but that was it. He didn’t even remember what they ate that night, probably some fancy food cooked by the blond. He felt a pang of guilt at the thought, and was glad Kazuki wasn’t looking at him. It was not that he would throw a surprise party or bake a cake (he’d probably burn the house), but at least he could buy some cake at the supermarket next time? He added it to his exponentially growing mental list of things that he should start doing, and thought of a way to compensate the blond somehow. Maybe a gift? He could buy it online, he doesn't even need to go outside. But then again, what could it be? Rei realized that he didn’t know what Kazuki liked, besides cooking and being a pain in the ass.
“Hey Rei, if you didn’t like it you don’t have to eat it”, he heard Kazuki say one tone too low, and only then did he realize that he spaced out again, a piece of cake still on his fork. He hurried the fork to his mouth, eyes looking defiantly as if trying to prove a point.
“I like it”, he said, the sweet taste overflowing his mouth. “No wonder Miri went crazy for it in the elevator”, he decided to add a moment later.
The compliment earned a dumb grin from the other man, and Rei annotated himself some invisible score in his new quest of trying to compensate Kazuki. If he knew one thing about the other man, it’s that he lives and dies for other people's approval. He usually felt that it was an annoying trait, and a waste of time. Well, he still thought so, but at least he could use it to his advantage now. Kazuki put a cup of coffee in front of Rei and took a seat at the other end of the table, picking a mini hamburger for himself. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, eating the numerous snacks that were on the table and sipping the hot coffee.
“She made those, you know?” Kazuki said after a while, with a soft voice. “I mean, she didn’t cook them, but she picked the ingredients and put them together”, he clarified, in response to the raised eyebrow on Rei's face. “She’s still too young to cook, but she’s making an effort to help me more around the house, and today she was eager to do her part at your party”, he continued, and then he looked right at his eyes, his gaze full of fondness “She really loves you”.
“I… care about her, too”, he said, the word love too big and terrifying for him. Love was a forbidden word, the reason for which many talented men betrayed the organization and met their deaths by Rei’s hands. The face of his mentor hit him and he felt guilty again, a wave of sadness shadowing his face.
“I saw that you are also trying hard”, he heard, and the affectionate voice took him by surprise. “Thank you for helping me with Miri tonight”.
“It’s what I have to do as her papa”, he said as if it was obvious, as if he wasn’t thinking of his boss as he said it, “I should take care of her too”. Yes, he needs to learn, because in the future he should be able to take full care of her if necessary. What if Kazuki was sick? Or on a solitary mission? Or if… He didn't want to think about the other possibilities. But he knew that he had to be there, with them, raising a girl that was not his daughter with a man who was not his husband, but both of them were his family and they needed him.
“Forget what I said in the car, now I’m sure we can change”, Kazuki said. “At least I know that you can change, because you have already changed. When I met you, you couldn't even take care of yourself. I was surprised that you survived to that point and didn't starve to death or get some rare disease, because of all the garbage that was in your house."
“Wow, thanks”, he replied sarcastically, even though he knew that he was right.
“But now, look at you, not only taking care of yourself but of a kid too!” Kazuki exclaimed, “and don’t think I didn’t notice you quit smoking. Wanna have a healthier lifestyle?” he teased.
That last one took him by surprise, because he had not noticed himself. When was the last time he bought cigarettes? He couldn’t remember it at this point. He remembered, however, the concerned voice of Miri when she told him that smoking could make him sick and she didn’t want that. Did he really quit smoking because a four-year-old told him to?
“I met my mentor today.” He confessed, and it was uncomfortable to talk about his life, but it was more uncomfortable to have all that stuck inside of him. “He said I haven’t changed”.
“Maybe that was a compliment for your skills?” Kazuki tried.
“Maybe, I killed him”.
“Ah”.
There was a silence after that, and Rei could leave it like that, and Kazuki would leave it like that, but Rei really wants to change his old ways.
“He tried to betray the organization. My boss sent me after him”, he finally decided to say.
"Why would he do that? If he trained you, it means he's worked for the organization for years. Why betray them now?" Kazuki asked, as if it wasn't obvious.
“He met a woman. Married her, it seems. They had plans to escape tonight”.
“And the woman?”
“Was dead before I killed him. Not by me”, he felt the need to clarify, as if that would spare him from the haunting image of her sitting lifeless in a chair, covered in blood.
Kazuki's face turned grim after that, and when he spoke again a few minutes later, his eyes were shining with tears that he was trying to hold back.
“My wife died five years ago”, he said quietly, “it was my last job, an easy one, and after that I had the plan to escape with her and her sister to another country”. And there it was again, the same reason, the same ending. “But she was there, while I was working, and then there was an explosion and she was gone”. Rei wondered if it really was an accident that she was there, but decided not to add any more weight to Kazuki’s grief.
“She was pregnant”, he said with a shaky voice, tears finally rolling down his face.
Rei froze in place, unable to determine what was the right thing to do at the moment. The information that Kazuki was a widower and was going to have a kid was new to him, and just another thing to add to the pile of things he was trying to process that night. He raised his gaze up to the second floor and understands. But still, what should he do? He should hug him, like they do when Miri cries? Or say that he is sorry? He finally decides that the best thing to do was just wait for Kazuki to let out his pain.
“Booze?” he offered, when the other man's breathing slowed again.
“Yeah, I think I can have a drink”.
Rei poured some strong liquor into two glasses, and handed one to Kazuki. Tomorrow it would be a nightmare to handle Miri with a hangover, but today he suspected that both of them needed a glass or ten. The food was cold by that point, but that didn’t stop him from eating some pizza to distract himself. Kazuki was lost in his thoughts, playing with the ice cubes in his empty glass. Then he smiled. “I met her sister the other day, when I ran away”, he said, with a guilty voice at the last part. “I confessed to her that I was afraid of changing, but she told me that my wife would be happy if I move on, and to take care of Miri to make her happy too”.
“She’s happy with you”, Rei said after he emptied his glass. It was not a lie.
“I know, and I’m happy with her”, Kazuki said. “I will protect Miri from anyone who tries to hurt her”, he added with determination in his eyes.
He wanted to protect them too, but he knows it was a lost cause. No one can go against the organization and live to tell it. At least he could warn Kazuki.
“My boss called today to let me know that he wanted me to come back to the mansion. He wants me to learn how to lead the organization in the future”. And continuing the family lineage, he omitted, because that was a topic too uncomfortable even for their newfound trust. He wasn't ready to talk about it yet.
“Will you go back to that house?” Kazuki asked, and his voice was worried.
“I don’t know. I asked for some time, but I don’t think it will do us any good”. He didn’t want to go back there, to that cold house, to live under the sadic gaze of his father, but what choice did he have? If he said no, he was dead. And although he entertained the idea in the past, that was before he met Kazuki and Miri. Now, if he was reckless, they would die too.
“He knows about you”, he warned, “so he probably knows about her too. I can’t risk it”. He had gotten too comfortable, playing house with Kazuki and Miri, but now reality hit him like a truck and he didn’t know what to do anymore. In the back of his head, the notion that this could happen was always there, but he brushed it off in favor of a tasty dinner or playing video games with Miri. Stupid.
“It won't do us any good to worry about it tonight either”, Kazuki assured with a smile that did nothing to hide the fear in his eyes. “How about you teach me how to play that game with the cars?”
“Huh?” The sudden change of subject confused him.
"I'll teach you how to take care of the house, so it's only fair that you teach me how to play that game in return," the blonde replied, as if that exchange made any sense. But Rei didn't mind stopping the heavy conversation for a moment, so he took the bottle and walked towards the sofa. Kazuki followed a moment later with some easy to eat snacks and set them on the coffee table before taking a seat next to Rei. Neither of them had taken the glasses, so he drank directly from the bottle while Rei explained what each button does. He nodded, half understanding what he was saying, and before the second lap he had managed to fall off a cliff four times. It should be annoying to play with someone so bad, but the months playing with Miri had taught Rei a little about patience. He took a celebratory drink before choosing an easier map for the next race.
They played the rest of the night in a comfortable silence, with only sporadic teasing from Rei or complaints from Kazuki, the gloomy mood in the past. In the morning they could worry again and come up with a plan, but for now he was happy playing his favorite game with his best friend, drinking alcohol and laughing. And what else can he wish for a birthday?
When Miri woke up the next morning, she found her papas sprawled on the couch, controllers still in hand and the music from Morio Kart coming from the television. Something told her that it was best to let them sleep, so she went downstairs as quietly as she could and turned off the television.
She took a bottle of milk from the fridge and sat on the big table. The good thing about sleeping parents is you can have all the cake you want.