Chapter Text
Kyle and Cartman have hated each other since they were in middle school— declaring themselves mortal enemies. People around them in school, especially their friends, thought that they were mellow out and learn to be cordial. But everyone was wrong. It somehow got worse but they started to get secretive with their rivalry, pretending to be friendly in school and going at each others throats in private. They just grew to be sneaky.
And that’s how that landed them here in the middle of their high school cafeteria with various bruises on their bodies while their friends held them back. Eric Cartman had allowed for Kyle to confide in him about a crush he had on a girl and when the brunette had secretly recorded his confession and spread it he found out the hard way. The girl confronted Kyle with her group of friends, claiming that she’s flattered but she thought he was gay and never liked him. Her friends and her laughed right in his face.
It was beyond humiliating and he knew that he should’ve just went to Stan. Stan would’ve understood.
“YOU’RE A FUCKING SNAKE, ERIC CARTMAN!” Tears threatened to spill from Kyles eyes but he refused to cry in front of Cartman. It would land him lower on the loser list that the brunette had him on in his mind. The man somehow noticed and started to laugh loudly. “You’re calling me a snake yet you’re sitting there crying like a bitch! What’re you, a faggot?” His laughing only doubled and Kenny, who struggled holding him, let him go. Stan, who was holding Kyle, let him go as well, allowing for his daywalker friend to hit the linoleum floor running. Kyle blocked out his friends calling for him as he pushed passed the bathroom doors, letting his loud sobs echo off of the tiled walls. Fuck Eric Cartman for making his shitty life even more shitty.
The teen shoved himself in the smallest stall and shoved toilet paper up his nose, hoping that it would stop the onslaught of boogers sure to coat his top lip. His breathing was heavy and he ferociously rubbed at his eyes. The bathroom had become his safe space away from Eric and the rest of the guys that picked on him.
“—a fucking pussy. Of course the Jew would run off in the middle of our fight! I’ll be out real quick, Kinny,” Eric’s heavy footsteps walked towards his stall and Kyle nearly gasped, putting his legs up on the toilet with the rest of his body. The stall shook, “Damnit! Let me in!” Cartman’s large hands shook the stall doors and the red head made a face. The fat teen looked through the hole, his face getting red with anger before the door to the bathroom stall was forcibly opened, nearly popping off of the hinges at the sheer strength of Cartman. His angry face from in the crack of the door was Noel’s neutral, almost scared.
“Cartman I don’t want any fucking troubles, I don’t fucking know what your issue is with me but you crossed the fucking line!” Kyles voice wobbled pathetically but the fat teen didn’t react, merely blinking.
“I’m not your Cartman— he needs help, he needs you Kyle.” Kyle rose an eyebrow, nearly laughing. “Needs me? He needs a fucking diet that’s what he needs! You need!”
Cartman stared at him and shook his head, stepping closer. “No, listen to me. Cartman is in serious danger and needs you. In my world he is facing something dangerous, something that is stronger than the both of us and he needs your—“ the door to the bathroom opened up and Cartman stopped, his face turning blank, void of any expression, before his eyes met Kyles again. It seemed like he was confused and backed up, shaking his head from the daze he was in.
“Yo, you good in here? Thought you died in here, fatty,” Kenny chuckled and Eric nodded, “Just finished,” before closing the stall door and walking out of the bathroom. Kyle stared dumbfounded at the swinging blue door. What the fuck just happened? Did Eric have schizophrenia or something? Multiple personality disorder? The red head, still incredibly confused, got up from the toilet and prepared himself to leave the bathroom. He checked his face in the mirror and splashed cold water on his skin.
“That was just a joke, Kyle,” he whispered to himself as some sort of pep talk, “Just a silly fucking Cartman joke.”
A joke is what he wished it could be, but he wasn’t so sure.
When the bell ring, signaling that lunch was over, Kyle rushed to his next class with his bruised face and battered body. People that passed him laughed in their hands, pointing at him like he was some circus animal. And he couldn’t lie, it made him feel self conscious. Still though, he found himself sitting in his seat next to Cartman in Chemistry, the fat man ignoring his presence. Almost like it was nothing, Cartman turned to him, his eyes shining.
“Listen, Kyle, Eric is in trouble—“ Kyle cut him off, whispering angrily. Their faces were close and the daywalker was pointing an accused finger in the other teens squishy chest. “No, you listen Cartman, I don’t know if you’re having an identity crisis that you’re taking about yourself in third person but you are not in trouble! Stop with this shit!” It was getting seriously weird, but Cartman was persistent. He held Kyles hands in his. Eric’s hands were large, so so large, and warm, so incredibly warm. “Kyle, I am not Eric, I’m him, but not him, from another reality. Another universe. I need you to listen to me. Your friend is in trouble. He’s being hurt— taken by something so horrible that is set on destroying every version of him. Your Cartman is next. You need him Kyle, you may not realize it but he means a lot to you,” Eric’s eyes were hot with a fire that burned within him while Kyles mouth remained open, gaped like a fish out of water.
Another universe? My Eric?
“This thing wants to destroy all that suffers. Eric is suffering and he needs help. He— He needs to be shown love. How to love!” Kyles shocked face turned angry and he turned away just as the door to the classroom began to open. Without knowing what was coming next, something was shoved into both of the red heads ears and his hand was shoved into his pants. “W-What the fuck!” And then the world changed around him. Kyle was plunged into darkness. A world that was his but not his. It was the classroom but dark and destroyed. There was a loud shaking sound coming from outside of the empty classroom.
“H-Hello?” Kyle called, standing from his seat. The door burst open and Cartman walked in, “He needs you Kyle. This is the world that’s being destroyed by that thing in your friend!”
Kyles head was reeling as he looked around the place. He wasn’t asking as many questions as he should. As he needed to.
“What the fuck, dude. Where am I?! What is this?!” Eric stared at him, wearing the same stupid headphones he had shoved in his ears as well. “You will leave here soon to your reality because you’re not strong enough to jump yet. But this is an alternate universe that is just like yours but different because of the difference you made in life.” Kyles eyebrows furrowed.
“What differences?” Eric smiled and pulled a phone from his pocket. It had a map with labeled dots on a screen that all connected to the middle, to Kyle. “This is you, your universe that you are used to, but this universe is where you became friends with Craig’s gang.” The red head pulled away in confusion.
“I would never do that.”
“Exactly, that’s why it’s another universe! That’s why you need to help me and help your Eric!”
Kyle paced around the empty, dark classroom rubbing at his temples. “Why the fuck would I help someone who draws swastika’s on my shit and calls me a kike on my birthdays. Like seriously?”
“Because that’s not him! It’s the thing inside of him!” Real nice. Kyles ears turned red and hot with anger, this Eric was just as infuriating as “his” Eric. “He’s been this way since he was 8, jackass!”
“Exactly, Kyle! You may not realize it but in every timeline, in every universe, every decision you never made or you failed to make you and Eric are always together! Whether you’re friends, lovers, enemies— he is always in your life! The thing that is inside of Eric will not stop at him, it will kill you too like to killed everyone here.” Craig-Verse Eric had an almost defeated look on his face and his body flickered. The world around Kyle flickered and he jumped in his skin, looking around just for the world to change back to the classroom. He was staring at his Eric while his Eric stared back at him, no headphones in his ears.
“Why do you have those gay ass headphones in your ear, Jewboy?”