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Jackie was sure she knew more about skydiving then she did about dating.
Especially first dates. The right places to go, the right things to say – fuck, she spent half an hour the day before just trying to find the right shirt to wear out! It’s stupid. Most of the time, she couldn’t give a shit what she looked like.
Not with Elora, though.
She was going fuckin’ soft, is what it was. The way that shiver ran up her spine when their shoulders brushed. How her palms sweated at the thought of wrapping Elora’s hand in hers. The fact that she actually let Elora beat her at her favourite game of air hockey, just because that pure elated smile jumping over her face meant more to Jackie then anything else.
Her brother would be taking the absolute shit our of her right now, if he could see her like this.
It was their old stomping ground they went to, actually, the games arcade her and Micah used to waste any spare coins on. Jackie ended up suggesting it to Elora, because, frankly, she’d failed to think up any other solution to a ‘first date’ and really, she thinks Elora was just as eager to get off the rez and into town.
It worked out in her favour though. The evening hours flew by, spending it battling out behind the toy wheels of racing games or over the foosball table, betting each other who could score the most in a row over at the basketball hoops (Jackie did manage to win that one). Elora tried to claim that she clearly had had enough practice to learn how to cheat, a smile threatening over her lips. Jackie rolled her eyes in return.
“Yeah yeah, I could still smoke you if you wanna go a second round – but it’s probably ‘cause you’re standing, like, a fuckin’ mile away from the hoop. You gotta, like, centre yourself better..
She barely saw the way Elora eyed her as she gestured at the dark-haired girls’ stance – and the faint glint of mirth that sparked in those deep brown eyes. Another smile flicked over her face.
What, are you gunna like..pull a Patrick Swayze to show me or somethin’?..
The off-handed line caused Jackie to stutter. Did Elora really just pull that coy, I’m-only-partially-joking line out of her fucking back pocket?? Quiet, serious, carrying-the-world-on-her-shoulders Elora Danan?
Heart hammering in her throat, Jackie dared to take a dive and gently placed her hands on both of Elora’s elbows to direct her. Elora easily followed the careful pull as Jackie re-centred her, the blonde all-too aware of how close she hung off her shoulder, so when the beat-up basketball flew through the air, it sailed through the basket.
The night starting to encroach with a heavy blue evening sky hanging over, they were headed home. Sipping on their king-size slurpees and chuckling over Elora’s story of how Bear’s mom once did actually dress him up in a bear costume for Halloween when he was five, no one wanted to admit that the night was ending – but they couldn’t live in the arcade forever, and Jackie had promised her aunt she’d have her car back by nine, and she didn’t have a single doubt that if she was even a minute behind that woman would hunt her down.
The problem with the night closing in, is that Jackie had no fucking idea how to end it.
She did the proper thing of dropping Elora off at her home, even walking her to the door. Now they stood at the cement front steps, the soft yellow of the overhead light enveloped around them, pulling them in to the circle of light so it felt as if the world was just the two of them. They both took their time, drawing each ticking second out, the giddy nervousness becoming thicker in the air. They fidgeted on the steps, a little too nervous to look the other in the eye.
“..So, uh, I..” Jackie tried to form a sentence after the deafening silence became too much “I guess uh..I guess that’s our time..”
She tried to just shrug it off, play it cool, and instead it came out way too fucking awkward. Fuck. Elora glanced back at her from where she stood before the faded front door.
“Yeah..I guess..” She echoed, as if dusted with disappointment “But, hey..um..Jackie..”
Jackie perked up with a sudden ugly twist in her stomach. The words that followed that kind of sentence, could either be golden or totally catastrophic.
Fuck I fucked it up I knew I’d fuck it up –
“I just..wanted to say how much fun I had.” Elora was smiling, that rare light shining off her “Like..the most fun in a long time..”
Shit. Jackie could’ve been struck by lightening then and there and she wouldn’t have even been mad. Elora smiling at her saying this – that was the best damn thing since she arrived in this dump of a town.
“For real?..” She asked softly, her own smile threatening to break out.
“Yeah..” Elora confirmed, a pink bloom rising over her cheeks that was far too adorable, resorting to jokingly shoving Jackie in the shoulder “Just fuckin’ take the win..”
Jackie chuckled, hearing laughter in return. The silence crept back on, but it wasn’t as scary as before. She tried not to teeter back on her heels, fists she’d shoved in her pants pockets clenching.
Just do it do it don’t be a little bitch do it –
“Cool. So, um..I...” in the end, Jackie sort of admitted defeat, head ducking down as she rubbed the back of her neck “I uh...I don’t really know..how to end these..”
“What makes you think I know?” Elora raised a brow in return, shuffling with the same nerves “I think, I mean – from what I’ve heard or whatever – there’s usually...you know..”
The terrifying, exhilarating word lay out in the air, unspoken. Jackie nodded a bit too fast, trying to swallow though her thick throat.
“Right. Yeah. I mean..we uh...just ‘cause everyone else does that or whatever doesn’t mean..– I mean, if you don’t want to..–”
“You don’t want to kiss me?” Elora broke in, her brow rising even higher. Jackie’s eyes nearly popped out.
“No! Fuck, I mean – yes! Shit, I-I just, I do, I didn’t wanna force you –”
Gentle chuckling abruptly cut her off. Elora was smiling again, eyes sparkling.
“I’m just fucking with you.”
Jackie slumped, her eyes squeezing shut in realization. Part of her wants to be mad at the heart attack she nearly had – the other part of her...had to admit that was a pretty good one. A smile started cracking over her lips.
“Fuck you too..” She muttered. Elora giggled again. “Thing is..I..”
“Look, Jackie..” the blonde re-centred herself to Elora’s warm expression, finding an almost nervous vulnerability “You’re tripping yourself up; stop sweating it. I had a good time hanging out, okay?..”
Jackie would say she was more then ‘tripping herself up’ at this rate. But Elora had a point. She nodded again, quicker, to shake off her nerves.
“Right. I’ll uh..I’ll see you tomorrow then?..”
Pussy.
Amazing how her inner voice sounded somewhat exactly like her brother’s...
Jackie tried to ignore it, but couldn’t completely. Because she was wussing out. Simply wishing her date goodnight and trotting off the steps, well, seemed rather lacklustre. She liked Elora a lot. This isn’t how she wanted to leave the whole thing by just kind of shoving it aside.
At the same time, she had no idea what the fuck to do. Messing it up felt like an even worse outcome then taking the cowards way out. If Elora had enjoyed the date, then maybe she should simply leave it at that.
Right?
Stop being a little bitch about it –
“Yeah..”
Elora’s voice brought her back to reality again. The dark-haired girl had now backed up to the door to lean against it, hand pressing down on the handle, hovering on her exit. She was still smiling back at Jackie, but, it was different. It didn’t have the same light, and Jackie quickly read, like a punch to the gut, the disappointment in it.
“I’ll uh..see you later..”
That was all the invitation Jackie needed to leave – instead she hovered. Partially perched on the final front doorstep, partially twisted towards where Elora was standing. Seconds slowed. Jackie felt like she was tearing in two, and didn’t want to leave Elora who was quietly pulling away like this.
She just didn’t want to mess this up and she liked her so much and she hadn’t even done this before and –
Fuck it.
Jackie suddenly jumped back up the step, rushing her way back to Elora. She barely had time to recognize the dark eyes drawing wide, before, almost as if all on it’s own, her hand effortlessly slipped around Elora’s waist to hold her in place and then her lips were over the pink ones.
Just like that.
It wasn’t like Jackie had anything to compare it to but holy shit. It was so soft. So soft she felt like she could’ve dropped to her fucking knees. Elora had initially frozen up, but before Jackie could worry about it, that tentative nature came out as she carefully moved her lips to kiss back.
The whole world slowed. Jackie could hear her heart beating out of control in her ears, and Elora’s soft breaths. Elora tasted like cherry – that bright, bursting red from her slurpee, that Jackie saw had coated her tongue when she caught Elora laughing – and, faintly, the remaining stickiness of vanilla chapstick at the corner of her mouth. It was everything more then she’d been imagining.
Fuck, I like her so much. Fuckfuckfuckfuck –
Jackie pulled away. Mostly, for air. She did her best to do it slowly, steadying them. Her eyes fluttered open – and they immediately found Elora’s big, soft brown ones. She looked about as dazed as Jackie felt. And as wonderfully so. They both could only stand there, breathing heavy, lips still hovering so close all it would take was one of them crossing the couple inches and give in again.
Fuck I gotta say something, crap –
“I..I’m..I just..” nothing was coming out, her words so jumbled it might as well be fucking alphabet soup in her brain, that her anxiety just bit down on the first comprehensible word “.....Bye.”
She spun, rushing with as much speed back down the porch steps and to the car. Elora was left there, trying to come back to reality – and smiling. Half from the kiss, and the other half because she could hear Jackie angrily hissing to herself as she scrambled to the car
“Fuck fuck what the fuck was that you asshole jesus shit –”
Jackie ripped open the car door, sitting back and smacking her palms into her forehead. She couldn’t believe herself.
What a way to both kiss the girl and run away at the same time.
She wasn’t sure how long she sat there wallowing, the porch light off and the door closed to Elora’s house. The thing that pulled her out was the sudden buzz of her phone, lighting up with a text.
Sure it was her aunt yell-texting her to hurry up and bring the car home, Jackie felt her heart knot in her throat when she saw Elora’s name.
[Elora]
just so u kno, I’m game to try that a 2nd time
[Elora}
as long as you don’t run away again.
[Elora]
luckily I like the taste of blue raspberry.
Jackie blinked back. Then she flicked her gaze to her own slurpee cup in the holster, the battery-acid blue liquid still sloshing around in the bottom. A grin grew over her. She brought her fingers to her lips, gently, finding the sticky trace of chapstick.
She wasn’t sure how she’d make it till tomorrow without thinking about kissing Elora Danan all over again.