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Lito has seen his fair share of media attention over the last decade, having learned the warmth of a camera flash and the din of noise unlike any other. And yet, the mob outside of the apartment, where a dais stands waiting for him is nothing like he has ever seen or heard before. He flexes the cue cards in his hands, but he knows he will not need them.
His lines are memorized.
He is ready for this scene, even if there is no second take and the camera will be unforgiving in its captures. Lately, it will all be edited and his performance will be reduced to three second snippets on all the news stations. Desperately, he reaches back to squeeze Hernando’s hand, forgetting that Hernando and Dani are in the front row of this hastily called press conference – Lito’s agent’s way of getting ahead of Joaquin and the pictures.
Better to be honest than disgraced, she had believed.
Lito knows he is not alone, though, in the same way he has known he is not alone since his brain changed in such confusing ways. He likens it to an itch just outside of his awareness and he feels it now. He only needs incline his head to the side slightly to see Sun standing beside him, chin up and posture straight, like she is the one who is soon to be on trial.
Then again, perhaps she is the best person for this situation.
“How did you do it?” he asks, desperate for any advice to get him through this situation.
“I lied,” Sun reminds him. “You’re telling the truth. You’re already one step ahead of me.”
“You lied for your family. I tell the truth for them,” Lito replies, knowing that at the heart of the message, they speak to the press for the same reason. “Any advice about how to do this?”
“Try not to get sent to prison after,” Sun says dryly, the humour lingering at the edges.
When Lito turns to tell her that she should not be in such a situation and they will get her out, she is no longer there. He could visit and chase after her, but at this very moment, Lito needs all his attention focused on the throng in front of him. His brow furrows with worry, but he grounds himself with a glance to where Dani and Hernando sit.
Dani is giving him a subtle (subtle for her, anyhow) version of a thumbs up and Hernando looks at him with such adoration and admiration that Lito knows he is going to go through with this, no matter how bad things get on the other side.
“Lito,” his agent summons. “We’re ready for you.”
He nods and sets the cue cards down on the little table beside him. His lines are memorized; more than that, they are practically imprinted on his heart by now. He steps forward to where the crowd is waiting and adjusts the microphone to his level as he licks his lips and readies himself for the storm.
He sees Hernando and Dani, but he feels the support of seven other people. The strongest of them is Nomi, whose pride radiates so effusively that Lito is practically overwhelmed by the glow of it. He clears his throat and acknowledges the group that has joined today.
“I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve called this press conference,” he begins. “But it has become very clear to me that I have been living a half life. It may not matter to some of you, but the burden weighs heavily upon me that I cannot be honest with my fans and the public, even if it will cause some of you to turn from me. The truth is that I am in love. Some of you will know this. Many of you will have suspected, because I so often speak of what it is like to be in love and to share your life with another half.”
Lito draws in a deep breath and knows this is the part that changes everything.
This is the climax scene of his life, but Lito finds himself strangely eager to rush to the denouement if it means he gets Hernando with him.
“But I am not in love with Miss Velasquez, as may have been suspected. Dani is family to me and dearly cared for,” he is quick to assure, “but she is not the other half of my heart. That belongs to one person and one person only. His name is Hernando and he is sitting in the front row today.”
The cameras flash brighter than before and though it is enough to make anyone wince, Lito stubbornly keeps himself from doing so.
“I am sorry that for so many years I have lied to you, but now I must live the truth. I,” he begins, “Lito Rodriguez, am gay,” he says. “And my heart has been possessed and cared for by the greatest man I’ve ever known for years, now. The lies I have been living were to protect myself and my career, but I have recently come to understand that there is a great difference between what we work for and what we live for,” he says, breathing out Nomi’s words because he understands how true they are, now.
“Mr. Rodriguez will now accept questions,” his agent announces as she joins him on stage at the end of Lito’s speech, moving past the shock and the outrage from the audience.
If he’d thought the cameras, the lights, and the noise had been something to contend with before, he had been mistaken. They are a deluge and a storm in one, and Lito is born back slightly with the energy of it, but he holds his ground.
He is doing this for Hernando.
He is finally going to be brave.
Later, in bed, Hernando curls around him possessively, protectively tight. Hours of “rewards” later, Lito feels like he can ignore the outside world and not think of the headlines or the disappointed fans or the hatred he and Hernando are sure to receive. He can still feel the brimming pride his cluster feels for him, though even they are unsure of what tomorrow is going to bring.
Out of respect, Dani is spending tonight in the spare room to give them some space before they must weather out the future.
“What did you think?” Lito asks, like this is any of his other performances and is up for discussion.
Hernando lifts his head from where he has rested it atop Lito’s chest and is able to hear every last beat of his heart. “Did you have a writer help you with that speech?”
Lito shakes his head vehemently to deny such a thing. He taps his fingers over his chest. “I wrote it all from here.”
There is a soft little ‘hmm’ noise from Hernando, one that Lito recognizes as his considerate sound that he makes before he allows himself to form an opinion. “Maybe we will have to look into you writing some of your own material,” he says and though Lito knows that Hernando is merely flattering him, it’s enough to make him grin as he turns to press a desperately giddy kiss to the corner of Hernando’s lips.
When they settle back down, Lito breaths in and enjoys basking in this happiness while they have it.
“Tomorrow is going to be terrible, isn’t it?” Lito murmurs.
“Probably,” Hernando agrees. “You always did take criticism too hard, my love.”
“But this time, it will not be for a role, but for who I am,” Lito says. “I am no longer a coward or a liar,” he goes on, so totally and utterly proud of this fact that he knows it will soften the blow of whatever will be said about him in the coming days. Past that, he has the support of Dani and Hernando here at home, and seven other people around the world that will protect him.
And Lito knows, more than that, that putting himself in such a public spotlight will keep Whispers away from him and here, at least for a little while. It would be mad to take a public figure with a scandal keeping reporters and photographers around them out of the equation, which gives them a chance to keep at least him protected, at least Sun. Perhaps if they can get the others down to Mexico City, this new attention will keep them secure for a little while.
For now, though, they have the dawn before them and the newspapers and the internet will be crawling with old rumours, gossip, lies, slander, and some truth mixed in.
Still, it will not matter.
Because, finally, Lito is as brave as any of the roles he has ever played and has his happy ending. “I love you,” he murmurs with a kiss to Hernando’s temple, still so very grateful to the cluster that has showed him how to fight and how to be honest and how to be better and stronger.
“Don’t worry, Lito,” Hernando sighs happily for the kiss. “If your film career as an action star falls through, there is always gay porn.”
Lito laughs under his breath, shoving Hernando away from his playfully.
“Because I would pay thousands to see that…oh wait,” Hernando murmurs, his hand sliding down Lito’s chest and under the band of his underwear. “I get it for free.”
“I could start charging, you know.”
“Add it to my tab.”
Lito gooses Hernando’s ass as he pulls him flush against his body, eager to have him as close as he can possibly be. Soon, Lito will have to tell him about the cluster and about these amazing and incredible people who have shown him a better way to live, but they must fight one battle at a time.
Right now, they have this room with a closed door, and they are safe.
They are whole.