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“Ugh.”
Touya looks up from Kumi’s math homework. “This is your own fault for not reporting the incident when it happened.”
Keigo glares at Touya. “Would you have preferred if the old Commission got a hand on Kumi?”
Touya shrugs. “I’m just saying.”
“Papa,” Kumi says, poking Touya’s arm with her pencil, “help.”
“Birdie, it’s been ages since I looked at a school book.”
“That’s not my fault.”
“She’s got you there,” Keigo says.
“You shut up. You’re younger than me. You should remember this shit.”
“Kei Papa forgets how to add big numbers. He’s useless.”
Keigo scoffs. “See if I ever help you with your English homework again.”
“It’s fine, I’ll ask Natsu for help with English. You suck anyway.”
Touya snickers. “Here, birdie. Let me see the sum again.”
Keigo whines incomprehensibly and throws his arm over his eyes. “How hard can it be for an entire agency to find one man?”
“It’s not their fault you only have his first name and his quirk — which I gather is probably sealed from what you told me.”
“Why are you looking for someone?” Kumi asks. Then she gasps. “Did someone get kidnapped? Are you doing hero work?”
“No, I’m trying to find the guy that gave us you.”
Kumi’s eyes practically sparkle. “I’m gonna be a big sister?!”
“Not if your Kei Papa continues to suck at finding one guy,” Touya says. “Okay, I figured it out. Gimme the pencil.”
Keigo sighs. “I wonder if I can ask the new Commission president to run a country-wide search for me. He seems like a nice guy,” he mutters to himself.
“Kei!” Tenko shouts from his room. “Come teach me how to tie a tie!”
“Why?” Keigo calls back.
“I need to look better than all the other guys at Shoto’s wedding and I can’t do that if I can’t tie a goddamn tie!”
Touya scoffs. “He acts like Natsu isn’t already head over heels for him.”
“They’re just idiots,” Keigo says as he stands. “They’ll get there.”
“Soon, I hope. I’m sick of all this pining.”
“Ha,” Kumi says. “That’s what Giri told me about you guys.”
“I’m going to burn that cloud fucker up.”
“I’m gonna tell Grandma you swore in front of me.”
Touya looks as if Kumi had slapped him across the face. “You snitch!”
“Kei!”
“All right, all right! I’m coming!”
Kumi looks down at her book. “Papa, that’s a six, not a zero.”
Touya sighs. He doesn’t remember math being this difficult.
“This is new,” Touya says, looking around the hall.
“What?” Natsuo asks. “Strangers?”
“No. Not being the center of attention. Especially since I’m not covering up all of this.”
Natsuo raises his eyebrows as Touya gestures to all of himself. “Well, I wouldn’t put it past Katsuki to have paid all the guests to look at him and not you, so don’t feel too upset about it.”
“I’m not upset,” Touya says, rolling his eyes. “I’m just surprised. I’m used to normally getting a lot of terrified stares in a big crowd.”
Natsuo grins. “Well, this is the new normal. Get used to it. Your status as scary villain was officially revoked when a bunch of parents posted videos of you desperately trying not to eat the clay their kids were throwing at you for calling their mugs ugly when yours look like deformed tin cans.”
Touya scowls at Natsuo. “I don’t remember you being this much of an asshole when we were kids.”
Natsuo grins wider. “This is the new normal. Get used to it.”
“My mugs are looking better,” Touya mutters to himself, sulking.
Fuyumi joins them and hands them each a champagne glass. “Hi, boys.”
“Hi,” they tell her.
“You look nice, niisan.”
“Thanks. You too.”
Natsuo’s mouth falls open. “Wh- how come you didn’t tell me I looked nice?”
Fuyumi glances across the hall, where Tenko is dancing with Shoto and avoiding Katsuki’s scowl from where he’s dancing with Rei. “Yeah, I think you received enough compliments to fill that airhead of yours. He was practically drooling at you the entire ceremony.”
“Aw, is that a blush I see?” Touya asks Natsuo.
“Shut up!”
Fuyumi and Touya snicker as Natsuo turns away from them, scowling.
“Where’s Kumi?” Fuyumi asks.
Touya nods to the floor. “Dancing with the Yaoyorozu brats.”
“You can’t call every child that isn’t Kumi a brat,” Natsuo says.
“Watch me.”
“How’s Keigo’s search coming along?” Fuyumi asks.
“Still nothing. I keep telling him to let it go, but he’s determined.”
“You could just adopt,” Natsuo says.
“I know that. He won’t hear it.”
“Kumi seems excited about the prospect of being a big sister,” Fuyumi says. “She came to ask me for tips.”
“Aww,” Natsuo says.
“She said she also asked her friend Maki and someone named Mori-Mori.”
“Cute.”
“The only good example she has is Maki,” Touya says. “I can’t believe she asked the Komori brat. That child bullies her little brother.”
“Excuse me,” Fuyumi says indignantly. “I happen to be an amazing big sister.”
“Yumi, you threw a ball at Natsu’s head when he was three because he ate your share of chocolate by mistake.”
Natsuo gasps.
“Why would you tell him that?! He didn’t know!”
“What are they arguing about?” Katsuki asks, nodding towards the three siblings.
“Hell if I know,” Keigo says. “I just like to watch. Any moment now, Natsuo is going to try to punch Touya.”
Katsuki snickers. “That sounds fun.”
“It is. He always misses.”
“So,” Katsuki says, “your brat is quite talkative.”
“Hm, Kumi? Yeah, she likes to be paid attention to.”
“She’s demanded that I let her do her hero internships with me.”
“God, no. You’ll kill each other.”
Katsuki glares at Keigo. “Hey, I’m a good hero.”
“Sure, Number Four.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m serious, though. You and Kumi would never survive one another. You both like being in the spotlight too much to share it with each other.”
“We’ll see when she turns sixteen,” Katsuki says.
“That’s if she still wants to be a hero by the time she’s going to high school.”
Katsuki rolls his eyes.
“Hey, I never thanked you for your help with . . . everything.”
“Don’t bother. I always hated the Commission anyway. They were stifling.”
Keigo shrugs. “Still. A lot of you lied to protect my family.”
Katsuki shrugs too. “Not much. All of the people who came forward were all telling the truth. That stupid mushroom bitch had a very compelling argument about the fact that the copy-paste asshole is decent around kids. A hero speaking up for you morons was a pretty big deal.”
Keigo understands quickly that Katsuki means Jin, but he can’t figure the other one out. “Mushroom. . .?”
“Shemage. Copy-paste takes her brother’s kids to school and picks them up every day.”
“Oh! Moriko seemed very excited to meet a hero. I wouldn’t have guessed that she had a Pro Hero aunt.”
Katsuki shrugs. “She’s probably known the mushroom bitch her entire life. You’re a novelty. I mean, your brat isn’t exactly startstruck by you being a hero, is she?”
“I guess.”
Katsuki scoffs. “Obviously, she isn’t. She lives with you. She’s probably seen you do some super dumb things before the whole world did. Like flying into a window.”
“IT HAPPENED ONCE!”
“I have a compilation video from the vampire that says otherwise.”
“When did you get cozy with Himiko?”
“She said she felt bad about kidnapping me and wanted to apologise via my own language. Hence, the video.”
“I’ll kill her.”
“Uh uh. Any indication of major violent behaviour outside of incidents clearly instigated by third parties results in a breach of contract with Musutafu Police.”
Keigo glares at Katsuki. “I hate you.”
“Yeah, well, your kid thinks I shit rainbows, so you better get used to me. I promised her I’d be there for her next birthday and I don’t break promises.”
“Ugh.”
Kumi trips over her own feet. “Not fair! Why is Syaoran such a good dancer?”
Yaoyorozu Syaoran smiles and offers Kumi his hand. “That’s because I’m a whole two years older than you. And my mama taught me when I was learning to walk.”
With a sigh, Kumi takes his hand again. “You sound like a silly prince.”
Syaoran hums, thinking about it. “Well, we do live in a really big house and Yao Mama wears super super fancy dresses sometimes.”
Kumi whips her head around, searching for Syaoran’s mother.
“Don’t be silly. Mama didn’t wear her super fancy dress today. It’s not nice to look better than the people getting married.”
“Oh. How do you know Shoto and Katsuki?”
“Both my mamas went to school with them. Kyo Mama was good friends with Dynamight.”
“I didn’t know that!”
Syaoran grins. “My mamas are heroes! What about you?”
“Oh, my Touya Papa teaches kids like me and even smaller ones or bigger ones how to make things out of clay. Mostly. He says he wants to start teaching them to paint. I’m gonna make him teach me first though. And my Kei Papa is a hero. You know him. Hawks.”
“Woah! I wanna learn art! Your Touya Papa sounds so cool!”
Kumi grins proudly. “He is.”
“See, you’re dancing fine. I’m a great teacher.”
Kumi rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to retort, but chooses that moment to trip and slam into another kid. Syaoran stares for a second before he bursts into laughter.
“Niisan!” the child beneath Kumi complains. “I’m gonna tell Kyo Mama about you!”
Syaoran collapses on the floor, wheezing.
Kumi stands up. “Sorry, Eito,” she says, offering him a hand up. She glares at Syaoran. “You’re mean. I’m going to dance with Eito now.”
“No,” Syaoran tries to whine, but he looks at Eito’s rumpled shirt and starts to laugh again.
Kumi huffs and drags Eito away. “Only I’m allowed to laugh at people because I do it quietly. Most of the time.”
“It’s okay. I laughed at Niisan this morning.”
“I got bored, anyway. Syaoran dances like a princes. Princes are boring.”
Eito looks scandalised. “Princes are not boring! My mama says I’m a prince!”
Kumi squints at him, leaning down so her head is level with his. “Maybe you won’t be boring when you grow up.”
“You’re mean!”
“Okay, I’m sorry.”
“You have to get me cake now. To prove you’re sorry. I want a piece with lots of frosting.”
Kumi eyes the dessert table, where there are slices of cake on little saucers with tiny forks beside each plate. She pushes up imaginary sleeves and nods. “One piece of cake, coming up.”
Kumi gets to the table fine and even snatches a saucer without being seen. The problem arises when Tenko catches sight of her and asks her what she’s doing. In an attempt to escape, Kumi trips over her dress and the cake flies off the saucer.
Tenko and the surrounding guests stare at Eraserhead with cake in his hair for a good few seconds before Tenko starts to laugh. His laugh is infectious and it doesn’t take long for everyone else to start struggling to hold back their own.
“You,” Aizawa tells Tenko, “extra training this weekend for the license exam. I don’t care if you have a tournament coming up.”
Even the threat of having to tell Shuichi he won’t make it doesn’t ease up Tenko’s laughter.
In the ruckus, Kumi nicked a second slice and dragged Eito under the drinks table so he could enjoy his cake without being seen.
“Weddings are fun,” Kumi announces when they’re joined by Syaoran and Kaminari Kaoru, who only spoke to introduce herself and say that she’s four years old when Kumi found the three of them in a corner. “I’m gonna have a wedding when I’m big, too.”
“Who are you gonna marry?” Syaoran asks.
“I dunno. My friend Daichi is super nice. But my friend Mori-Mori is super pretty.”
“You can’t marry someone just because they’re pretty,” Eito says. “What if they’re ugly on the inside?”
“Obviously they have to be pretty and nice,” Kumi says, rolling her eyes. “Like Kaoru.”
Kaoru’s eyes widen. Then she shrugs.
Eito wrinkles his nose at Kaoru. “Kao, you just met Kumi. You can’t marry someone you don’t know.”
Kaoru shrugs again.
“What do you know about marrying people?” Syaoran asks. “You’re a baby.”
“Am not! I’m a whole five years old!”
“What are you guys doing?”
“Eri!” Eito cries happily as a new face joins them. Kaoru’s face lights up.
Eri crawls under the table and joins them. She smiles at Kumi. “Hi. What’s your name?”
“I’m Kumi! You’re big. How old are you?”
Eri grins. “I’m fifteen.”
“Woah! So that means you’re in high school! Where do you go?”
“I go to UA.”
“Eri’s gonna be an awesome hero,” Eito says proudly. “Her dad taught my mamas.”
“Oh! You’re Eraserhead’s baby!”
“I am. And you’re Hawks’ baby, aren’t you?”
Kumi nods. “Is UA nice?”
Eri nods. “Mhm! It’s super fun. Why, you wanna be a hero?”
Kumi shrugs. “Maybe.”
“That’s okay. You have lots of time to decide.”
“I know.”
Syaoran sighs. “I like weddings.”
“Me too,” Eito says, grinning gleefully at the amount of frosting left in his plate.
Most of the guests have left and the hall is much quieter now.
“I’m disappointed in you three,” Enji tells Touya, Fuyumi and Natsuo.
Touya rolls his eyes and Natsuo sighs.
“Why?” Fuyumi asks. “I thought I did a good job of making sure Natsu and Touya-nii didn’t bite each other or something.”
Enji gestures at Shoto, who’s happily munching on a slice of cake. “I can’t believe my youngest child got married first.”
“Oh, that reminds me,” Touya says. “Keigo and I are married.”
“What?!” Shoto cries. “Before me?!”
Touya nods.
“When?” Rei asks. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Two months ago. We weren’t interested in. . .” Touya glances around at the hall, “all of this.”
Fuyumi pouts. “You’re so mean. How dare you get married in secret?”
”It wasn’t a secret. It was barely a thing. The only people that were there was everyone at home. You didn’t miss anything, trust me.”
“Now I’m just extra disappointed in you,” Enji says.
“Sorry,” Touya says unapologetically.
“Look, you made him sad,” Natsuo says, gesturing at Shoto.
“On my wedding day!” Shoto cries.
Touya grins. “Sorry.”