Chapter Text
The realization burned. An ember deep in her heart growing hotter and hotter the worse the situation got. It hurt. After all, Elizabeth had spent over 3,000 years avoiding this very moment. Not always consciously, but when the memories had been there, she had hoped and prayed and wished for this day to never come.
Now it was here.
The ambush had been unexpected. They’d been caught off-guard, even overwhelmed. Something had to be done. As Elizabeth met Meliodas’ gaze, they both knew what that was. She didn’t want to, but she knew. Tears stung her eyes as Meliodas nodded his head at her from across the battle. He didn’t see another way out, and try as she might, neither could she. Meliodas stood tall; his gaze unwavering even as his hands shook. In his eyes, there was unyielding trust as he gave his life to her – and a resigned acceptance Elizabeth didn’t want to see. It was the only way.
She hated it. Hated, hated, hated it.
In the end, it was a move Elizabeth had learned in the first holy war; something she had always been capable of in some way. You might even call it her ultimate move. It was powerful enough to sear away any darkness it crossed paths with. In the best or worst way, the damage could be irreparable. A destructive explosion compared to the well-aimed stab of an Ark.
In the end, it was a move Elizabeth had dreaded the day she would willingly have to unleash it.
After it happened, Elizabeth couldn’t move. Her limbs felt like rocks – heavy and unmoving – yet at the same time they trembled like leaves in a storm. Her breaths were stuck somewhere between her chest and her mouth, which was too dry to even form words. Even if she could, she didn’t know what she would say. What could she say? There was no word that could change what had just happened. What she had just done.
Gloxinia was by her side, his hand rubbing circles across her back – it felt wrong. She was the assailant, not the victim. He shouldn’t be comforting her. Drole spoke above her, voice laced with concern as he asked if they were okay – no… She wasn’t the one hurt. He shouldn’t even be asking about her. Why were they focused on her? It wasn’t right. She had hurt him! Why were they worrying about her? She had- They shouldn’t- She-
A hand wrapped around her own and suddenly the air reached her lungs. Tears burned her eyes as she clung to him. She had no right to depend on him like this – to have him as the only thing keeping her together – when she had been the one to hurt him. If she hadn’t regained control when she did, if he had just been a little closer, she could have killed him.
Fingers brushed against her cheek; taking away her tears and putting her back together all with one touch. She pressed one hand against her mouth, stifling the sobs as she looked up at him. Green eyes that could drown her if she only gave them the chance met hers.
“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth cried, and somehow the words made it out of her mouth still sounding like words. Meliodas had the audacity to smile at her. Even though his expression looked a little too pinched, even though she could see exactly where her light had struck him, even though the darkness inside him had to be screeching at the damage she did – he was still trying to comfort her.
“Hey, it’s okay, don’t worry,” he told her. That damn fool. She could see the way his body was still trying to repair itself. She could feel the turmoil of his power. How much was he hurting because of her? Why was he the one caring for her?
“Are you sure you should be moving?” Drole suddenly asked.
“You shouldn’t,” Gloxinia answered before Meliodas could. He had backed away slightly – letting Meliodas take his place beside Elizabeth – and was now eyeing the demon critically. Meliodas just rolled his eyes.
“I’ve had worse,” he insisted. His breath hitched a little around the pain. Elizabeth didn’t know if she should be relieved or horrified that it probably was true. “Are you okay, Ellie?”
Elizabeth shook her head, pushing back a new wave of tears, “I’m sorry.”
Those seemed to be the only words she could manage. The only words she should be saying.
“Come on now,” Meliodas mumbled and pulled her into a careful hug. “I’m just glad even goddesses can lose their cool.”
She could see Gloxinia shake his head, hear Drole’s deep sigh. If the surge of power hadn’t left her exhausted, Elizabeth would have given him her piece of mind. As it was, she only let her head thud against his chest. Despite everything that had happened, Meliodas’ hearts still beat, slowly and steadily. They were the only sound she needed in her life.
“You shouldn’t joke like that,” Elizabeth muttered. “I could have-”
“But you didn’t,” Meliodas cut her off. “I’ll be fine, okay? I’m still here.”
Right then and there, Elizabeth made a vow to herself. Never again, would she hurt him like that. Control or not, her light would only ever heal him. Never harm.
3,000 years later, she would break that very promise.
When Elizabeth opened her eyes, her body ached all over. She’d been exhausted before, had been hurt before. Except literal death, it all faded compared to this. That is, until she remembered what happened. The stab through her heart was indescribable. She had done that. No accident, no holding back this time. She had-
“Elizabeth?” A hand squeezed her shoulder. No, it was all wrong. It wasn’t the one she wanted – the one she needed to keep her together. “You’re finally awake. Are you okay?”
Elizabeth met Merlin’s gaze. The tears trailed down her cheeks when she tried to form an answer. Any answer. She couldn’t do it. Somehow, Merlin understood it all anyway. After all, there was only one thing that mattered right now.
Merlin looked away. Elizabeth could feel her heart break. No… Please, no.
“He…”
To Be Continued