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During her time in college, Lena had learned of several different theories on the death of the universe. The heat death of the universe hypothesized that the universe would expand until absolute zero temperature was reached. The Big Crunch, appropriately named, assumes that eventually, the universe will become so dense that it will start contracting. The Big Bounce theorized that the universe would keep cycling from Big Bang to Big Crunch.
Lena would take any of those right now instead of the current way her own universe was collapsing. Four simple words was all it took for all the stars to wink out and for her chest to feel like it was caving in.
“Kara Danvers is Supergirl.” Lex had told her for no other reason than to watch the absolute devastation flash across her face and clutch at her heart like she was the one that had been shot.
She barely remembers the aftermath, almost watching herself in third person get back into the safety of her own home. Pouring herself a glass of scotch purely using muscle memory and pulling out her phone to text Kara after having a few sips of courage.
Lena: Can you come over now? We need to talk
Kara: i’m not too far from your apartment, went for a walk. be there in 5
Lena lets out a half laugh, half sob as she reads it, thinking she must have been blind to ignore all the red flags. Recounting the dozens of times Kara had said something similar to justify why she was always so quick to come to her aid. After almost 5 minutes exactly, her door opens, having given Kara a spare key, reminding herself to get it back. Not like it would stop the most powerful woman in the world from entering her apartment, but hopefully the sentiment would be hurtful enough by itself.
“Hey! Are you ok?” Lena hears from behind her.
Wordlessly she stands up and walks over to where Kara is standing. In any other circumstance, she would be swooning over the way Kara’s baby blue eyes match her soft cotton button-up, instead, she brings her hands up and yanks it hard enough for the buttons to go clattering to the floor. She knew it would be there, but the big red “S'' standing out against the dark blue of the supersuit is like a slap to the face. She remembers that once Lex had told her it wasn’t really an “S '', that it was house crest. A symbol of hope. Right now the only thing it was a symbol of is her naivety and blind trust.
“I can explain.” Kara blurts out, looking down at her and the exposed suit peeking out of her now ruined shirt.
“I am so stupid!” Lena laughs as the tears start to come, weakly pounding her fists on Kara’s chest. “God, I was so fucking stupid to think you were different.”
“I was! I mean, I am!” Kara tries to reason, gently grabbing her wrists, not worried about herself getting hurt, worried that Lena would accidentally hit her too hard and break her hand. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long and I promise it’s not because of your last name!”
“But you didn’t tell me! And everyone else knew so it had to be something about me!”
“It is, but not like that!”
“Then what is it like, Kara!”
“Because I love you, ok! Because I’m in love with you and you’re always in danger and if I told you there would be another target on your back and it would kill me if I was the reason you got hurt!” Kara finally managed to get out, starting to tear up herself now.
“No, no. You don’t get to tell me that. You have had years to tell me that, Kara. You have had years to tell me you were Supergirl. Years to tell me you’re in love with me and now you’re using one to justify hiding the other and the only thing you’ve accomplished is breaking my heart.” Lena coldly replies, having completely shut herself down. The tears no longer coming, she was in survival mode.
Kara felt every word Lena said like a Kryptonite canon blast to the chest, this couldn’t have gone worse if she tried. She couldn't even recognize her best friend anymore. The Lena Kara saw was no longer her best friend, she was facing down with the same Lena Luthor that could rule the boardroom of L-Corp with an iron fist if she needed to. Her Lena was warm and soft and inviting, this Lena was cold and calculated.
“Please, just let me explain. Let me prove it.” Kara begs.
“Prove what? That you played me like a fool for years? I’m done, get out.” Lena points to the balcony. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Or do worry, I know how you can’t trust us Luthors.”
Kara deflates, her shoulders slumping as she starts to walk over to the balcony. “I’m going to give you space but I’m not giving up on you”, Kara states confidently before flying off into the night.
The second she’s alone, Lena collapses, sobs wracking her entire body as she lets her walls come down. Eventually making her way to her bedroom, falling asleep at some point, still dressed with tears staining her cheeks.
Over the next few weeks, Kara hears nothing back from Lena. Not for a lack of trying, almost every day sending her a message to let her know she meant it when she told Lena she wasn’t giving up. She wanted Lena to know she trusted her completely, hoping that she could get that across with her messages.
Kara: Zor-El is my real last name btw. i was adopted by the Danvers when my pod crashed to earth
Kara: i don’t really need my glasses to see but my adoptive dad gave them to me and they do help with some of my super senses. when i got to earth everything was so loud i could barely stand it
Kara: i’m very claustrophobic, being trapped in my pod made me hate/afraid of small enclosed spaces
Kara had filled Lena’s phone with dozens of messages and facts about herself and was still going strong. Lena had yet to reply to any one of them, but the fact that didn’t have her blocked and would occasionally thumbs down or thumbs up a text.
It’s exactly 24 days of silence before Kara hears a knock at her door after winding down for the night. She can tell it’s Lena without using her X-ray vision, the tentative knock a dead giveaway and the steady, slightly fast, heartbeat on the other side of the door is one she’s listened to numerous times. She trips on her way to the door, stumbling over the rug and nearly ripping the door straight off its hinges in her hurry, thinking that with every second that goes by, Lena could change her mind.
Lena jumps a bit in shock at how forcefully the door is opened. She’s dressed in a soft cashmere sweater and a pair of well-worn jeans, her eyes a bit puffy and red from crying, but Kara still thinks she’s the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen.
“Lena.” Kara breathes out in disbelief. “Come in. Do you want tea? Have you eaten?”
“I’m fine, thank you.” Lena tentatively smiles, walking into the once familiar apartment, looking around and seeing it messier than she’s ever seen it. Guilt settles in as she realizes how the silence and distance between them had affected Kara.
“What can I do for you?” Kara fiddles with her hands nervously.
“We need to talk,” Lena says, grabbing Kara’s hands and holding them in her own. “First, I want to say that I’m sorry for some of the things I said that night, I was angry and it wasn’t right. I know you care about me, it was just easier to pretend that you didn’t.”
“It’s ok.” Kara tries to reassure her with a small smile.
“No, it’s not Kara. It wasn’t fair to you and you don’t have to say it was to keep me here, I’m not going anywhere.” Lena tells her firmly before continuing. “I know it probably didn’t seem like it at the time, but I did appreciate your texts. At first, it felt like I didn’t know you at all, that everything you told me was a lie. Now I see that I was wrong, I do know you. I know that you mouth along to the words of every classic Disney movie. I know that you drink coffee with enough sugar to give most people a sugar rush. I know that you take a picture of every dog you see and keep them in a folder called ‘perfect pups’. I know so many things about Kara Danvers, and if you’re still willing, I’d like to learn more about Kara Zor-El.”
Kara looks at her speechless, looking stunned like it’s too good to be true. After a few seconds, she nods her head and Lena can see tears welling up in her eyes. “There’s one more thing you know.” She finally says.
“What?” Lena asks, crinkling her brow in thought as she looks up at the blonde.
“That I love you,” Kara tells her with all the confidence of Supergirl. “That I, Kara Zor-El Davers love Lena Luthor,” She repeats, “and I’d like to spend as long as you’ll have me learning everything about each other.”
“Are you proposing?” Lena asks with a laugh.
“Not yet. But maybe one day. For now, how do girlfriends sound?” Kara asks hopefully, leaning down to press her forehead to the brunette's.
“Perfect,” Lena responds, leaning up to close the distance between their lips and melting into the kiss, the two of them holding each other tightly in what feels like their own little universe.