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I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wished me to be, couldn’t be the one to hold you in my arms, couldn’t be the one that’ll stick with you for the rest of your life and into eternity. So please forgive me for being so foolish as to believe we could ever only be friends, forgive me for not drawing a clear line between the two of us so that you were able to come as close as you had wished while I looked away hoping you’d step back one day. Waiting till I twitched away from your touch to tell you “No” because losing you would break me; but the image of sticking with you just seems to cruel for me to endure.
I want you to know that I still think highly of you and that it’s not you that makes it so unimaginable to exist as one, that it’s me who loves their freedom just a little more than what we had.
I’m not asking for forgiveness so that we can repeat all of this once again, but rather so that you can live your life with someone that loves you, the way you wanted to live your life with me, and so that this guilt, trembling me to the ground, disappears one day.