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Emily walked up the stairs to the loft study and saw Stephen on the phone. He smiled when he saw her. She was sure it wasn’t just the outfit, purple sleep shorts and a white lace camisole, but it had been a week or so since they’d seen each other. Emily put the cup of tea on his desk and then sat in his lap. He needed to prioritize right now; this phone call wasn’t a priority. But she knew him well; Stephen would say all that needed to be said before he ended it.
“I like the idea of a bookshelf in the wall, its fabulous.” He said. “But to have it from the floor to the ceiling doesn’t make a lot of sense, Faye. Firstly, unnecessary heights have never been my thing and secondly I don’t even know if I have that many books. I went electronic a few years ago. So perhaps a half wall would be better.” Stephen smiled when Emily stroked his chin.
She wanted attention and he damn sure wanted to give it to her. “We can finish this conversation in a couple of days. I'm done work for the night. No, it’s not work it’s my condo and it’s not priority #1. Don’t worry, I’ll call you. I'm going to let you do the work but there are some other things to consider. Goodnight Faye. Yes, I'm serious; goodnight. Bye.”
He hung up the phone and looked at the woman in his arms. Stephen took a deep breath before kissing her. He’d felt her slipping, almost as soon as he got a grip on her, and tonight was no different. But Emily looked almost content.
There was something in her eyes he was sure he’d never seen. That meant Stephen didn’t quite have the word for it. But he’d seen fear and defeat and bliss and the look she got when she contemplating chewing off her arm just to escape. It wasn’t those looks either. Those looks tore him to pieces for many reasons.
“What's in the cup?” he asked.
“I bought you some tea with a nip of brandy. It’s going to help you sleep.”
“You’ve been putting me to sleep a lot lately. What gives?”
“You're saying that as if you're an old dog.” Emily smiled. “I know you…if I let you have your way you'd work all night. You can't have your way.”
“Ever?”
“Not tonight.” she shook her head.
“You don’t even know what my way is and you're going to just unilaterally shut it down? That’s not very diplomatic of you, Dulcinea.”
“You're the diplomat,” she kissed his nose. “Not me.”
“What are you then?”
“Well, currently I'm unemployed but I don’t know how long that’s going to last.”
“What?”
“I handed in my formal resignation to the BAU a few days ago. I've left the FBI.”
“How does that feel?”
“It feels right.” Emily nodded. “I loved my work but since coming home it didn’t fulfill me in the same way it used to. I didn’t exactly get to slay my dragon and I don’t want to sound selfish but it was getting harder and harder to slay other people’s.”
“Have you made a decision about London?” Stephen asked.
He didn’t want Emily thinking it was just about Clyde Easter, though that was a big part of it. The truth was that he didn’t want her to go far away. He wanted them to have their chance…he wanted it more than anything. That wouldn’t be possible with a continent between them.
Stephen was too old to pretend that it would be. He couldn’t compete with Clyde’s sexy French accent and his promise of high stakes adventures. He wouldn’t try. If he lost Emily then he at least planned to do so with dignity.
“It’s an eight hour flight. I don’t want to be that far away. I've already missed enough and I'm not missing anymore.”
“So you're not going to work for Interpol?”
“It’s the same as the FBI,” Emily wrapped her arms around him. “Its just bigger dragons. I'm done with that life. I loved it, but it’s not for me anymore.”
“So you're staying in DC?”
“I'm staying.” She nodded.
Stephen didn’t mean to get emotional, he really didn’t. It wasn’t as if emotional wasn’t his thing. He wasn’t one of those men who believed that you were too strong to cry or too manly to admit that things could touch you. He loved this woman; anyone who got within 50 feet of him would know that.
He loved her and wanted her in his life. She’d been slipping away and he felt like there was nothing he could do about it. The man always in control had absolutely none. Stephen had to sit back and wait for Emily to make her own decisions.
She had a right to without interference from any party. But it was so hard. It was hard to stand there, support her in everything, when all he wanted to say was stay with me. Don’t go because I love you. I don’t know if I have the strength to lose you again.
“Are you alright?” Emily hugged him close. She’d seen him cry before so that didn’t make her uncomfortable. But knowing now it was her fault did. She’d put him through enough; she’d put a lot of people she loved through enough. Surely she’d put herself through enough.
“I'm fine.” He smiled as he wiped the tears. “I promise.”
“Are they tears of joy?”
“They're tears of decision, I guess. Indecision is tough so when a decision is finally made it’s a relief.”
“You didn’t make any decisions.” her tone was teasing. “I did all the hard work.”
“Lean on me, Dulcinea; I’ll help.”
“That sounds like you're trying to get me into bed. I know a proposition when I hear one.”
“You know I can do better than that.”
Stephen kissed her. It was sweet and gentle but he moaned when Emily deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, holding on. He didn’t want to let go and she didn’t want to let him. Staying wasn’t just about Stephen but it was about him too.
Emily loved him. She didn’t want to run away from him and what they could have together. And that didn’t mean she had to stay in the FBI or even in the country, all the time. But she wasn’t leaving. How long did she think she could run and what was she running from?
The foundation was indeed cracked but it was up to her to keep the house from crashing down. That wasn’t always easy; she only had two hands. The extra pair was helpful. He’d been more help than he could ever imagine or she could tell him. And if that wasn’t enough, she loved him.
“Were there fireworks?” he whispered, pulling out of the kiss. Stephen still held onto her.
“That was thunder. Another storm is going to roll through. If we’re lucky it'll do something about this heatwave.
“I don’t mind the heat.”
“I'm sure there are a million or so people in the Corridor who would disagree with you.” Emily smiled.
“What are you going to do if you're not in the FBI?” he asked.
“We can talk about it later. There's a lot I need to do but right now I'm not going to let it overwhelm me. I need to take some time, breathe; make a list even. But first I want to crawl into bed with the sweetest man I know, and listen to the rainstorm.”
“I love you.” Stephen took her face in his hands and kissed her again. “Can I just ask one question?”
“I love you too and the answer is no.”
“The answer to what is no?” he asked.
“Wasn’t the question if I was wearing any panties?”
“No.” Stephen laughed, clucking under her chin. “No, that was not the question.”
“Oh, I must have misheard.” Emily smiled. “Go ahead, ask me anything.”
“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering. You're not staying just to appease me, or anyone other than yourself? Are you?”
“The answer is still no. I'm staying because this is home. Something you said to me a couple of weeks ago stuck. If I'm running away from me, where am I ever going to go? I need to be here; the people I love are here. My friends, my family, any work I can do and feel good about…all of its here. While there are times I may travel to get things accomplished, I'm always going to come home.”
“To me?” Stephen asked.
“You said you only had one question.” She grinned. “You need to drink your tea before it gets cold.” Emily climbed off his lap. “I'm going to warm up the bed.”
“I bet you are. Hey, can I still call you Agent Prentiss?”
“Only when we’re fucking.”
“I can live with that.”
“Drink up, and then come and relax with me.”
“I honestly don’t know the last time I got such an amazing offer. I’ll be right in.”
Emily smiled and turned to walk away. Stephen knew her for a long time, knew fake smiles and real ones. Her smile was genuine and her feelings seemed the same. There were miles to go before she slept, probably for the both of them, but this was a good start. Emily made a decision and wanted to move on with her life.
He knew how much she loved the FBI but she decided it couldn’t make her happy anymore. There were so many other things she could do and be fulfilled. Stephen couldn’t help but smile thinking of them all. Maybe someday soon they would have that conversation too. For now he just wanted to hold on. Not too tight, he didn’t want to crush her beautiful wings.
“Stop thinking.” She was halfway to the bedroom when she spoke. “Drink your tea Stephen and come to bed. We’ll think some more in the morning.”
“Coming.”
He did drink the tea, which was lukewarm but tasty. Then he straightened up the study, shut down the laptop, and went to bed. She was waiting for him and that was reason enough to smile. There would be more conversation tomorrow.
Emily had decisions to make and life to live. Changes were definitely coming. They would be good changes; good for her and good for them. He walked into the bedroom and smiled when he saw her lying in his bed. He was such a lucky man.
“Tell me what you're thinking.” Emily said.
“I'm thinking about how wonderful you are and how lucky I am. I'm also having some deep thoughts but they keep getting pushed aside by dirty thoughts.”
“Well how about I blow your mind and you don’t have to think at all?”
“I like the way you're thinking.”
“Come to bed…no clothes.”
Emily quickly undressed, her eyes never leaving her lover’s. She knew he was thinking too much, she still was too. But hopefully that would fade in a couple of days. She was staying and they would make it work.
This was where she wanted to be…he was who she wanted to be with. She was tired of running. The best time of her life had been here and just because Emily wasn’t in the FBI anymore didn't mean she had to leave it all behind. She could build another house on a strong foundation and be with her family.
It was all in front of her and she’d be a fool to walk away. Settling down wasn’t the same as settling. Emily Prentiss never settled; she always wanted the best. It just took a little while to realize that it was right in front of her.
***