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Izzy knew that the trunk would be a problem as soon as they opened it up.
It was a beautiful wooden case—massive and solid—that they found among a few others stowed away in the Captain's quarters. The raided ship's Captain seemed to have stowed away his most valuable things out of the reach of the crew.
Izzy was going through the contents of the cabin along with his two Co-captains when Stede found it tucked away. He opened it up and let out an excited gasp. Edward was next to him in seconds, as if he were a dog that had heard its name being called.
"What is it, mate?" Edward asked, trying to peer over Stede's broad shoulders blocking the view as his arms reached down into the trunk.
"Oh, they're beautiful," was all Stede provided as an answer before he pulled a sheer dress out of the case. The honey-gold fabric flowed in a beautiful arch through the air as he swung around and held it up to look at it properly.
Edward oohed as Stede held out the light summer dress for him to take and gently received it from him without question. Izzy sighed quietly to himself and accepted that they would have to pause their hunt for valuables to indulge the Co-captains' fancies.
It wasn't too bad. Izzy was honestly used to Edward having moments like this since long before Stede came along. There was a reason his quarters on The Queen Anne had been filled with random trinkets of all kinds. So Izzy positioned himself next to his two lovers and watched them with an impassive expression and a hidden little trill in his heart.
Edward handled the dress with his dirty fingers like he had been given something sacred. He held it up close to his face to squint in concentration, inspecting the fine threads and stitches. Suffice it to say, Edward had never seen fine clothing like this until much later in his life. Izzy guessed that Stede, meanwhile, had been putting his grubby fingers on outrageously expensive fabrics since he'd been old enough to pull at his mother's skirts.
Stede was picking further dresses out and looking them over one by one. Perhaps he could actually gauge their value and they would be able to sell these for a meaningful profit after all. Izzy felt slightly less annoyed at that thought. At least something worthwhile might come out of it.
Edward had become entirely occupied with the first one he was handed, as expected. He leaned over towards Izzy and held a part of the dress collar out to show with his fingers below.
"Look at this, Iz!"
Izzy looked.
"There are teeny tiny flowers sewn into the thing! Like, they're on top and separate but they look like a part of the whole thing!"
Izzy nodded along. There were indeed flowers of the same colour as the fabric expertly embroidered or sewn on or whatever it could be.
"How do they do that!?" Edward asked excitedly with a wide grin, marvelling at the craftsmanship.
"I don't know, boss," Izzy answered, despite being fairly sure it was a rhetorical question.
"It's fucking amazing is what it is! It's so pretty! Isn't it pretty!?"
Izzy kept nodding, indulging Edward the way he always did, with a soft raspy tone. "Yeah. It's nice, yeah."
Edward looked like he was so happy he might burst on the spot. Stede turned to him and held up another flowing dress. This one was a light olive green made of multiple thin layers. "I believe this is some type of silk chiffon," Stede mused. He put a hand below it and held it out towards Edward. "Here. Put your hand under one of the layers."
Edward did as instructed, splaying his fingers under the thin top layer. The noise he then produced sounded like the death cries of some small animal. "What the fuck is this!?" he exclaimed in a high-pitched tone. "It's fucking see-through! What the actual fucking fuck!?"
This time, when Edward looked over at Izzy, it was only to make an incredulous, excited face. Izzy smirked back at him.
Okay, so maybe this wasn't so bad. Izzy had come to accept that Stede made Edward happy—had been surprised to find that Stede made both of them happy, in fact—and had learned not to fight it quite as hard.
Stede put the olive green dress in Edward's hands, and he was left standing with two beautiful frail pieces in his arms. He looked like he didn't know what to do with himself, as if the experience was too overwhelming to process properly.
Izzy held his hands out and offered to take one. Edward handed the golden dress over and Izzy carefully folded it up into a square again, ready to be safely put away.
He wanted to groan out loud when Stede pulled yet another gown out. This one was a shiny lavender purple.
"Oh, look at that," Stede crooned and held it up to Edward's shoulder, covering his harsh black leathers in shimmering purple satin or silk or whatever it was. "This colour would look lovely on you, Ed."
Looking down at himself, Edward seemed to grow more demure and quiet, as he asked softly, "You think?"
Izzy was running out of patience and his annoyance spiked again. "Alright, that's enough. We've got two whole crews wanting to get this thing over with." He went over to the trunk and put down the folded dress he was holding. He gestured for the other two to do the same and continued, "Let's just put them back in and take the entire case with us. You two can have all the time in the world to go through it on The Revenge!"
Every minute they spent on the ship was another minute that the captured crew could do something foolish or some other ship could happen upon them. It was better to leave as soon as they were able to.
"You're quite right, Izzy," Stede agreed soberly, putting on his serious face. "We shan't keep the crew waiting."
With the help of the rest of the crew, they transported all the loot they'd taken from the ship, including the trunk of dresses and a few other boxes from the Captain's cabin.
Izzy oversaw the whole process, making sure things ended up where they belonged and weren't damaged in the move. He then catalogued and inventoried the items, trying to estimate the haul they'd gotten. It was important to know in order to decide how many more raids they could do before needing to head to a friendly port to unload and restock.
He also took note the trunk of dresses had disappeared, but it hardly took a genius to figure out where it had gone.
Izzy went to the Co-captains' cabin to relay his report on the raid. That was one thing Izzy appreciated about Stede: his penchant for organisation and structure—something Edward lacked entirely.
Izzy had barely stepped into the room when he abruptly stopped and simply stared.
There, sitting on the floor, was Stede and Edward. They were each wearing a dress—Edward in the lavender purple one, of course, and Stede in the light olive chiffon dress. Edward's hair was done up in a bun and Izzy could see the open back where the dress wouldn't quite close due to his broad shoulders. Stede's dress seemed to fit a bit better but that was only because it was so airy and stretched wide in a way it definitely wouldn't over a woman's chest.
Both the men fell silent and turned to look over at Izzy, at which point he took note of something else.
"Are you wearing pearls!?" Izzy burst out, staring at the open jewellery box sitting on the rug.
"Yes," Stede replied, as if he weren't the one who'd found the tucked-away box no less than half an hour ago and showed it to Izzy.
Edward's gaze flicked back and forth between the other two, itching his beard nervously. Izzy noticed he had tiny decorative flowers in it.
"I thought you said they were priceless!?"
At that, Stede only smiled widely.
"Yes," he confirmed. "Blue Akoya pearls. A complete set." He reached out with his hand—where a light blue pearl bracelet was dangling—and held Edward's beard a bit out of the way to show off the pearls hanging around his neck. "Quite fetching, aren't they?"
Izzy felt insane. What the fuck was wrong with these two?
"They're supposed to fetch us a good price! They're not for wearing!"
Stede frowned at him, entirely impervious to Izzy's arguments. "No, Izzy. They're pearls. They're definitely made to be worn."
"Well, you shouldn't!" Izzy insisted. He felt like he was herding cats on this ship. He angrily stomped over and looked in the chest of dresses. Most of them were moved about and some hung over the sides as if the two Co-captains had rooted around in there and thrown them aside.
Izzy sighed. "And the same goes for the fucking dresses. Christ, Stede."
"Why?"
"Because they're not for you!"
Stede's voice was annoyingly calm. "Who are they for then?"
"Fancy fucking women at fancy fucking—"
"Oh, because we're not women? Or are we just not 'fancy' enough?"
"That's not—"
"Tell us we're not allowed to wear them."
Izzy stopped and shut up. He looked at Stede.
Finally, Izzy started to understand that Stede's voice wasn't calm and blasé so much as cold and challenging. He was almost glaring at Izzy—as much as he ever glared at anyone. Izzy looked past Stede to Edward behind him, who had been entirely silent throughout the entire exchange.
Edward was staring down at his lap, fingers fidgeting and picking at his nails over the backdrop of the shimmering purple fabric. It really did look rather out of place on him, what with his tattoos and rough hands—though to be fair, it was the same kind of contrast as his bubbly happy personality to his matted black leathers.
Izzy swallowed.
"Tell him he can't wear that beautiful dress," Stede challenged again, all but glaring daggers at Izzy now.
"Stede, stop," Edward mumbled and reached for him in an abortive movement.
"No, Edward, I need to know—"
"Do you intend to keep them?" Izzy asked, interrupting Stede. This seemed to fluster Stede somewhat and he stuttered a bit, seemingly surprised by the question.
"Because right now you're stretching the dresses and you might damage the pearls. You shouldn't do that if we want to sell them."
Izzy shrugged and gestured vaguely with his hand. "If you want to keep them, though… It's fine. They—" Izzy shifted on the spot, feeling awkward and not looking directly at either of their faces.
He could do this. Just say it.
"They look… good. On you."
After a few seconds of awkward silence, Izzy had to glance up at them. Stede was now smiling softly and Edward had looked up from his lap though his head was still bowed. He looked almost shy.
"You think?" Edward's voice was small but full of emotion.
Izzy melted on the spot. Edward was staring right back at him with his big shiny doe eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching up slightly, making him look extra demure. He looked sweet and innocent in a way he definitely was not, but fuck—it was working for Izzy.
Izzy had to swallow a lump in his throat. "Yeah," he breathed out. "You're… very pretty."
"That's very kind of you to say, Izzy," Stede's soft voice chimed in. He was practically beaming pride at Izzy.
Pushing off the floor, Stede got up to walk over to Izzy. Seeing Stede's discreet and light—but still clearly visible—chest hair peeking up over the stretched neckline was a bit strange. The short puffy sleeves and pearl necklace made for a strange mishmash with his sideburns and broad frame.
"Come, Izzy," Stede instructed, and without thinking about it, Izzy took his offered hand. "Which dress would you like?"
"What?" Izzy barked out, incredulous. "No. I'm not wearing one."
"Of course you are!" Stede insisted. "Let's pick one out! Ed, what do you think?" Stede looked him up and down, considering. "Something a bit darker, I think. Sophisticated."
"No. No, no, no. Stede." Izzy was completely ignored. "Seriously. I am not wearing a dress. Stede!"
Stede frowned at him as if he couldn't understand the problem. "I thought you said it was fine if we were keeping them. Obviously, we need one for you too!"
Izzy frowned angrily, unable to contain the embarrassed blush that was spreading across his face. "I'll look ridiculous… I'm all—"
Stede turned to him, now holding a dark blue shiny dress. "All what?"
Izzy waved his arms around, searching for a word. "—hairy," he finished, for lack of a better one.
Stede made a face as if he'd bitten into a lemon. "So what? Ed and I have plenty of hair too." He patted Izzy on the shoulder and smiled. "I assure you you will look very pretty. Don't you think, Ed?" Stede turned his sunny smile over to Edward who was still sitting on the floor, watching the scene in front of him unfold.
"Mm!" Edward agreed with his eyebrows raised and nodded. "I like that one." He pointed at the dress Stede was holding. "What kind of fabric is it?"
"Oh!" Stede looked delighted to be asked about the dress. "It's velvet! Probably made from silk if I'm not mistaken. That's why it's so shiny."
Izzy felt himself slowly give up. There was no way he was getting out of this.
He had no idea how long it took but it felt like forever. Stede and Ed turned him into their personal doll as they undressed him, redressed him, groomed him and decorated him. Somehow, they even managed to talk him into wearing a corset. Edward argued that it matched the dress and therefore he had to wear it.
Several times Izzy attempted to complain. He refused to wear the pearls. They were much too bright and gaudy for the dark outfit he'd been forced into. Stede then pulled out a jewellery box and let Edward pick out a different necklace for him. He picked a simple but beautiful oxidised copper chain with blackened beads. When Izzy complained about his hairy legs sticking out from under the dress, Stede suggested he wear stockings. Apparently, it was a normal thing for men to wear two pairs to prevent their leg hair from sticking out.
Izzy felt insane.
He resigned to his fate, trapped sitting on the floor in between the other two. He felt stupid.
"What is it, darling?" Stede asked in a gentle voice when he noticed that the fight had entirely drained from Izzy.
Izzy saw no point in lying and so he muttered, "I look stupid."
"Oh no, honey, no," Stede murmured at him affectionately, as if he were comforting a child.
"I'm all… rough and hairy and just— not pretty."
"I think you're very pretty," Edward's deep voice murmured as he leaned in close and pressed his lips to Izzy's temple. His moustache tickled.
"No," Izzy insisted grumpily in a weak voice.
"Yes, you are." Stede moved in on his other side and they pressed Izzy between them. "You're our beautiful and pretty and lovely First Mate."
Izzy blushed when Stede placed a kiss on his cheek. "I am definitely not lovely."
Edward chuckled. "Shut up, Iz, and let us love you."
Art by Bananatole.
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