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Boris and Theo became quite a pair after their first bus trip together. Honestly Theo couldn't even fathom living life without the company of the foreign boy. Life would've been way more boring and dreadful, but suddenly the golden retriever was enough to keep him going. They bonded over many things too, losing their mothers, having shitty dad's, living in this deserted place, and so on. With that, they spent almost every minute of every day together. The only thing separating them were the few classes that they didn't share and the rare times that one of them had to stay at their own house or couldn't have visitors. But Boris practically lived on his own and Larry and Xandra couldn't care less.
It was because of all that time spent together that they've grown to notice everything about one another. With both being so far from the world it was only fair they stuck close to each other. Being the other's lifeline despite neither of them being all too stable themselves.
Something Theo's noticed was just how affectionate Boris was. Maybe it was the lack of love in his own home but he felt the need to be as physical as possible. Smacking Theo (though they hit each other playfully on multiple occasions), tugging on him to get his attention, holding his hand through 'crowded' areas, and hugs that were justified by "you looked sad, Potter" not to mention the cuddles when he has nightmares or drunk/high moments. So yeah it was safe to say that Boris liked physical touch, you'd think so with how much he gives it to others.
And if that was true then Theo realized he should probably reciprocate the gestures too. (Of course in his own way that'll benefit Boris.) It didn't seem fair that Boris was giving all the love, especially since they started dating..kinda.. basically. Neither really called each other boyfriends unless it helped their situation but they were aware of when they kissed now and yeah..needless tangent, more importantly, Boris.
They were in a store, actually using money to buy things this time. Both of their parents had given them funds and like they always did, they put it together. (And if Boris still snuck a few smaller items anyways than Theo definitely didn't see). The store was empty for the most part which was why Theo felt confident enough to hold his hands. Beneath his own, he could feel Boris inch to retract his hand. Only staying because he probably forced himself too but his shoulders tensed and the hand in his would twitch, as though being tempted to pull away.
Boris was uncomfortable. Clearly. And just didn't want to say anything, which made Theo pretend he didn't notice and to cause no further discomfort, unlocked their hands. Maybe Boris just didn't want anyone to see? It wouldn't be their first time though, Boris has almost kissed him in public before, or pecked his cheek. So why now of all times? Oh well, Theo didn't find himself focusing on it long. He had to keep Boris out of trouble while in the store, sometimes he acted on his impulsive thoughts and Theo would much rather this be a peaceful trip to the store.
They chewed gum from the gumball machine while they walked home (Boris' this time, because Larry and Xandra were home and they wanted to be alone.) Boris instinctively held the umbrella between them while they talked about meaningless things, as well as getting high for some reason that was always a topic. With their neighborhood being completely empty apart from one another Theo was tempted to try and hold his hand again. But his confidence from earlier was not yet back so he missed that opportunity.
"Wait, we should eat first. We both know we won't be eating if we wait till after we get high" Theo reasoned, and he had a good point. Boris sighed dramatically and with an exasperated voice managed a
"Fine" Boris had tried to be helpful while in the kitchen but he wasn't very good at it. No wonder why Boris was so thin. When it came to cooking he didn't do it, always instead going for something not needing to be cooked, like bread and peanut butter. He did try to help and for that Theo was grateful, but he'd also rather if Boris didn't make a fucking mess of his workspace. After getting scolded one too many times, pale hands wrapped around his front as the taller boy leant against him. Watching intently as he cooked.
Boris was once again giving Theo unnecessary physical affection, and well he couldn't complain. Not when it turned his cheeks a tint of pink and made him feel warm in the all too cold house.
Theo made them a simple dinner, mashed potatoes with chicken strips. (Yeah, now that you know the dinner, how do you think Boris made such a mess with such unmessy ingredients? Chaotic little shit could turn anything into a hazard). No vegetables, because yuck. Most of them were frowned upon, with a few exceptions of green beans, but only when Theo cooked them. Boris didn't like it anywhere else.
After dinner, Boris insisted on cleaning. Even though his way was to just soak everything in the sink so they could get high and then actually clean them tomorrow. Which irked Theo a bit but he'd much rather get high too.
They laid over the covers, sharing a cigarette and getting high. Downing their thirst with Vodka, because maybe it was the Russian in him (despite not actually being from Russia, he's just stayed there the longest) but he and Mr. Pavlikovsky always seemed to have at least one bottle in the freezer. Along with some other alcoholic beverages around here and there.
Their shoulders were touching, Boris a bit more reclined than Theo made the latter seem like the taller one. It gave easy access to Boris bush of curls. Wild as they may be, they were defined and enticing to look at, his fingers trailing the inky curve, maybe he was just insane though. They were pretty. He couldn't stop himself from doing what could only be called petting. It seemed like the type of thing Boris would like, right? Being pet by someone he loved, the thought amused Theo, smiling to himself.
It faltered when Boris accidentally made a noise of displeasure and shifted. Being a bit too high, or drunk, to be subtle about his distaste for the affection he was getting. He'd prefer compliments over someone touching him. The words came from a safe distance and while usually sounding fake, Boris would believe it depending on who it's from. Touch, however, was dangerous and uncommon. He couldn't really remember the last time someone would try to, aside from the physical contact he initiated with Theo and sometimes other people.
The bar lady in Ukrainian who taught him English would often ruffle his head whenever he did something exceptionally good. But her hands were usually full with cups so it wasn't always. Teachers would sometimes shake his hand too, but he'd been awkward and hesitant. His father… touches from his mother were practically phantom at this point. Her having died a long time ago. That didn't leave many opportunities. Unless you count the time he had some of been trafficked, there'd been some physical contact there but he'd rather not think about that.
So much unlike those touches, Theo's were feathery and warm, as though he was scared he was made of glass or fragile like a porcelain doll. Still, Boris couldn't find himself relaxing under it. It made his skin prickle and his mind unsure.
As subtle as his intoxicated state would allow, Boris moved himself out from under the hand. Sitting up more and drinking some more of the burning liquid. Completely unaware of Theo's growing frown.
Maybe he was just thirsty and he chose the wrong time to pet him. Just a coincidence
It could've been passed as nothing more than a coincidence if not for similar things occuring every time Theo tried to show physical affection back. And what had really been throwing him off was the fact that Boris still unabashedly hugged, kissed, and just in general touched him. So the issue was clouded. It was bothering him, eating at his thoughts. Any assumptions that Boris might hate him was washed away with the reminder that Boris still loved to touch him, touch still being his one-sided love language. And now he was just curious. He needed to know.
"Why is it that someone likes to touch others affectionately but not let others do the same to them?" Theo had gotten so desperate that he asked Xandra, who was sitting smoking in front of him. She seemed surprised that he broke the silence, or the silence between them, it wasn't exactly quiet with Larry watching football in the other room. Despite her surprise she took a drag and a moment to think.
"I really don't know, I guess they could be touch starved or trust issues," she shrugged, not able to think of any good reasoning. A germaphobe was crossed out at the mention of liking to touch others still. "Why?" Of course she had to ask, how could Theo think she wouldn't be nosy.
"Just know someone" he shrugged as well, giving the nonchalant response before going to his room. While he may not have seemed interested In her answers, he certainly was. Touch starved, a term he's heard plenty but never actually met someone who suffered from it. Pitying adults used to say something about it after his mother died, but he'd never been touch starved. His mother and him were very close, so she'd give motherly touches almost constantly. He wasn't at his temporary home either. And even in Las Vegas he wasn't, because Boris soon came along. He's always had someone there with him, but the chances of Boris having the same were slim.
It made sense that the term fit Boris. The boy who had constantly been deprived of loving actions. Even if he met someone in another state, they wouldn't have had such a close relationship with Boris as Theo does because he only stayed for so long. And not many people in normal towns with normal minds would so willingly accept an alcoholic teen who did drugs as a side job. His home life was empty too.
Why didn't Theo realize sooner? He was happy he made the realization but also heartbroken, it meant Boris was secretly sad with people touching him. Unsure of how to react because he didn't get enough to feel it as normal or loved. For such a bubbly, eccentric person Boris really had gone through a lot. So depressing for a happy kid. But could you really be happy if you relied on cigarettes, weed, and booze?
Theo decided to leave, telling his absentminded guardians just for the sake of doing so. Even if he was sure neither would really care. It was late afternoon, Boris' father wouldn't be coming back till a handful of more hours meaning Theo didn't have to rush, even if he wanted to just for the sake of seeing the boy he loved so much quicker.
"Oh, Potter! Didn't know you were coming. Actually meant to surprise you, eh..don't mind the smoke, is nothing" Boris spoke, accent thick yet seemed a bit tense, like he'd been coughing earlier. Theo didn't think much, he mentioned smoke, it was just the sour smell of nicotine that they were accustomed to.
It was a burning smell, windows were opened a peak to let as much of it out. Not a hint of it had been cigars. It was only then that Theo noticed the chocolate batter on Boris' arm from his rolled up sleeves and knuckle, also having a bit of flour standing out on his dark clothes..which he wasn't sure why it was even used when he remembered Boris stealing a boxed mix.
"Boris.. what'd you do?" Theo's point in coming was completely lost when he entered the kitchen where the smoke was heaviest. It was a mess of measurements and egg shells and spilled liquid. Even spilled better on the counters. A stiff looking brownie rested on top of the stove. The culprit just laughed happily,
"I meant to surprise you with treat! But um.. might've forgotten about them in the oven. Not very salvageable, trust me, already tried" Theo couldn't help but chuckle too at the ridiculous story. He poked at the "dessert" with the knife nearby just to see for himself, and fuck was it hard….not like that…that sounded a bit suggestive-
He made a mental note not to let Boris near the stove, oven, or dishwasher ever again.
"So, why the visit? Thought you were spending time with Larry an Xandra?"
"Oh I was, but it got boring and I wanted to see you," sure that wasn't the whole thing but for the most part was still true. Boris cooed at that though, making a scene as always.
"I'm honored to have my Potter thinking of me," he teased, but the way he said "MY Potter" did not go unnoticed. It actually made Theo flush. Theo did roll his eyes, contradicting the heat of his cheeks.
"Yeah whatever" by then Boris had moved much closer, giving Theo a kiss on the corner of his lips. With the close proximity Theo decided to wrap his arms around the thinner boy, pulling him closer. Boris hadn't been expecting this, just thought it'd be one of the many small kisses before they did something else. Not expecting to be held with so much care. Theo's arms around him weren't tight, a gentle grasp but firm enough that he couldn't actually get out, he realized.
"Potter, let go" Boris chuckled, this one was recognizably less with laughter and more nerves. He shifted a bit, trying to escape his shorter boyfriend but it wasn't working. Itt anything Theo was just adding more pressure to ensure he stayed. "Theo.." this almost did make him let go. Boris never really called him by his name, really liking giving nicknames to those he loved and then sticking with them for pretty much always. And although the name morphed a bit due to the accent, it almost was enough for him to let go.
"No" he did say almost, "Boris I want to show you that I love you, you're always pulling away from any touch I start. You deserve love too"
"But- I know you love me" his attempts didn't stop but as Theo's hands moved up and down his back and shoulders, his movements were slowing.
"Then let me show it. You're always showing me, let me do the same for you. I don't think you get enough love, and I can only give you a fragment of what you deserve but I want to give it to you anyway I can" one of Theo's hands drifted into his hair, staying there while the other secured the painless grip around the boney hips. It was then that Boris finally completely stopped, shoulders dropping into the touch. There was a wave of…sadness? Relief? Finally getting something he unintentionally longed for.
Theo didn't say anything, Boris couldn't either, an uncomfortable lump in his throat. Don't cry, repeating itself in his head. Why was he so vulnerable to this? Crying just because he was told he was loved, it made him feel little, a bit pathetic.
His efforts weren't enough because a few tears fell soundlessly, Theo had been able to tell still because of his shoulders shaking suddenly. Theo wanted to cry now too, seeing his poor малыш so sad over something that should've been common practice. He hugged tighter, shoving his own face into the others shoulder, pulling them closer together. Boris was still light against him, the numb feeling dissipating the long they stayed embracing each other.
"Potter-"
"I love you," Theo interrupted, they both decided at the same time to speak but Boris was quicker to notice and stopped his own words. He was glad he did because the warm feeling in his chest made a grin appear.
"I love you too" it was muffled against his hair but Theo didn't need to hear clearly to know what was said. "I'm sorry for being like this..I- I didn't think I missed it this much. Kind of…went unnoticed. You're so gentle though" the last four words were spoken softer, as if an afterthought or not meant to be spoken aloud.
While the words made Theo's heart soft with love, (very glad to be able to bring someone this amount of comfort), he felt anger at the stupid old man who was wrongfully titled as Boris' father. At the end of the day it all fell on that deadbeat addict. Theo's had enough of that jerk putting Boris through hell, he was determined to undo all the suffering that had been caused. He didn't know a lot about Boris' childhood but he was going to fix the loneliness and pain. And if that meant by starting by getting Boris used to the feeling of someone caring about him, then so fucking be it.
"Let's clean up, then we can go to your room?" Boris wiped his eyes and nodded, feeling a bit more like himself again. Theo and him cleaned, discarding the charred brownie and ridding the counter of the sticky, slimy, mess that had been made. "Oh, we should probably get you cleaned up too," Theo laughed. Being so close to Boris had made him forget about the flour and better dried to him.
And who's to say that Theo brought Boris' hand to his mouth and licked the glop of chocolate off of the prominent knuckle. Honestly it was a surprise that Boris didn't wipe it off immediately, but Theo supposed he just didn't mind as much- being dirty. Clearly not with the mess the kitchen had been in.
The teens room smelled like nicotine, ah so that had been why Boris had been too distracted to not care for the brownies. Theo knew it was almost too good to be true that he hadn't been doing something bad.
To start his journey of care, they cuddled and smoked. Not getting intoxicated but just watching a movie and letting the unhealthy toxins fill their lungs. Now they were more than shoulder to shoulder, Boris was down enough to be laying back against Theo's stomach, and he had to admit that he liked the feeling. Boris was like a human plushed animal, just extra warm and a thousand times cuter. His hands wrapped around his front, quite literally holding him like a bear too.
…
Mr. Pavlikovsky walked in on them in that position, luckily by then most of the smoke cleared away and their cigarette buds had long since been discarded but now promoted the questionable position they were in. Boris felt Theo jolt under him and his own nerves picked up too, tempted to sit up but that'd only draw attention.
"була пожежа на кухні?" He asked, Theo could tell his voice was slurred despite the Ukrainian he didn't understand.
"Ні, я просто щось спалив" Boris replied, calming down a bit with a hint of skepticism. Mr. Pavlikovsky nodded at whatever his son said and left the doorway. Closing the door and almost tripping over his own movements. The boys couldn't help but laugh with relief.
Since that day Theo's been giving touches more often. Even if he himself wasn't usually a touchy person, he was willing to engage for his lover. And Boris was slowly but surely getting used to it. The soft warm hand of someone against him, light hands going through his hair so unlike the pulls he'd been used to when he did something wrong. And Theo had been right, Boris really did like hands in his hair. He was a cat, Theo was sure of it. It all came back to cats when it came to the Russian.
The only issue about their frequent moments of physical contact was that sometimes they were a bit intoxicated, and teens..you could probably see where that was going. Let's just say, Boris got very comfortable with lips and breathes against his neck, and maybe, just maybe Theo might've forgotten below the collarbone rule because Boris' neck and shoulders were just so soft and bewitching.
Whatever got the job done, right?